Crazed Lunatik's Blog

Black Friday or disaster deals

2011-11-26T15:46:00.001-08:00

I am sitting in the Las Vegas airport with a large beer witnessing Oregon state get demolished by Oregon. I hate this airport. I hate layovers. This lady has a small dog that is going bonkers. I would like to mace her. Speaking of macing people... how about crazy Walmart shoppers? Is it just me or does black Friday seem a little too dangerous? Maced or shot, you can get cheap crap and a bonus gift! It seems to me that Walmart is a lot more dangerous then the other retailers. I am not saying it has anything to do with the degenerates that regularly shop there or the terrible corporate overlords running the place..... But it does. What do you expect with all the hype, limited supply and the short timing of the big discounts? If you say the sale is for 2 hours shouldn't there be enough for that time period? I saw a lot of ads say every store only has 20 of the best deal. So you know that means people will continue to act crazy. Getting maced while trying to get a stupid video game is insane. Getting shot on the way out is even worse. What is wrong with people? How much do you need to save 30 bucks? Walmart claims despite the incidents, the ones that seem to be adding more victims every year, customers were positive about racing through a store for some stupid deal. Except isn't it their responsibility to protect their customers. Shouldn't they indicate more concern? Where is there plan for avoiding future incidents? By the way how is that Oregon greeter who was hospitalized last year after being trampled doing?

The Flu Shot Debacle

2011-11-04T16:37:00.000-07:00

I have no movies to review this week. It is not because there were no screenings because I had an opportunity to see 2 or 3 movies this week. The reason I didn't see any movies was because I was sick. I figured I needed to sleep more and be entertained less. As a result this was the longest week filled with very little memories of actual events. I think the kids had fun and I am almost sure they learned a few things. It's just that, I am the one who is hazy on exactly the what, where, when, why and how of what happened this week. Sure I planned and oversaw all activities but I was struggling between exhaustion and the Dayquil fog. Dayquil has the ability to make me feel like I am watching the happenings and not actually participating. The problem with that is I am watching my own happenings and not having a real clear idea of what I am doing. Luckily, there is a part of my brain that is doing what needs to be done so that little part of me that is cluelessly watching can just zone out. If only that made me a better or more patient person....

You might be asking why I am spending time writing about this, when I obviously have nothing new to share. I am very glad you wondered that (and if you didn't I am really glad you are continuing to read). The reason I am writing today is to ask what you think of flu shots. Do you get them? No matter what the answer, why?
If you don't get them: Have you ever got one? What is your reason for not getting them? Do you think they have ever made you sick?
If you do get them: How long have you got them? Why do you get them? Do you think they have ever made you sick?

Here are my experiences with the flu shot. I got one a few years ago (like10) and I immediately came down with something. I swore off them. Then I went back to school to become a teacher and people started singing the praises of flu shots. I was still adamant that I didn't want them and I stuck to my guns. In my 2nd and last year of school (Winter/Spring 2009), my underemployed self came down with a severe flu right before I had to teach for Mad Science. I am sure plenty of kids got that bug from me but it literally hit 10 minutes before I started teaching and by the time I was done I was an achy, snotty, sweaty mess. The materials I had to cart back to the office felt like it weighed 6 times more even though it weighed a few pounds less (we gave them things to take home and make). Anyway it was the worst flu I had ever had. I was shivering under several blankets. It hurt to move, sit, lie down, and stand. I had a fever. I emptied my contents from both ends that evening. It felt like a week of sheer Hell.

When I recovered I was once again reminded by all these people about the benefits of the flu shot. When I was employed as a teacher last year, I got my first flu shot in 9 years. I had a few colds but no flu. So this year I got the free one last Wednesday and by Saturday afternoon I could feel it waiting in my shadow. As the night progressed I knew by morning I would have some kind of illness but I was being positive, it would just be a cold. The next morning it had hit and I felt awful. I went to Williams-Sonoma because I was stubborn but as the class continued to roll I realized I was no longer interested in sampling the free freshly baked pie and that I just wanted to sit down. I ended up sleeping the Sunday away and my body hurt, I had chills and sweats, and I felt feverish. I did not go to the doctor (because I secretly believe the doctors gave me this flu like episode) because they tell you to get rest, drink liquids and give antibiotics that don't work; which means that I am not sure if it really was the flu. Having said that, I am totally sure it was the flu.

So tell me, should I chalk it up to error and gamble on the shot next year? Or should I gamble on no shot and take my chances?

Tower Heist, A Rambling Review

2011-10-28T20:48:00.000-07:00

Once again Gofobo.com came through with tickets, this time they were to see Tower Heist.

I have to admit this review would be a lot easier if I hated this movie. It is always easier to write the movie review for a movie that nobody should see then it is for a movie that rocks. The biggest issue is not giving people too much info or over hyping it. Having said that, I was excited from the moment I saw the commercial for this movie, the industry folks like to call them trailers (but I write this for the non-industry types, sorry Ben Stiller). When I am excited about a movie it falls into 2 categories: I hope this movie is as good as it looks or this movie looks stupidly funny and I hope it is. This movie, with it's overabundance of star power, fell into the former category. This movie is/was poised to be either terribly disappointing or astoundingly entertaining. I am happy to report that it was the latter in this case. I was amused, the free movie crew I roll with were amused, and the rest of the cheap-skate movie viewers were entertained as well. There are lots of laughs and Eddie Murphy's character was a character you really enjoy seeing him play: an angry, rude, chip on the soldier black man. A character he used to rock in SNL skits. It was the best movie with Eddie Murphy in the cast since the days of Beverly Hills Cop. I do not want to ruin the movie so I will give you a synopsis that you can easily get from watching the preview. An evil business man screws hundreds of people out of money by fraudulent investments including the people who work at the hotel he lives at. Ben Stiller, someone who admires the guy up until that point, creates a plan to rob the money back. He collects his crew of misfits and adds one inept criminal to the mix and gets to work. Unless you are a rich guy who got rich from stealing people's pensions, you will probably like the underdogs' tale in this flick. It makes you cheer and laugh right along with all the craziness. One of my favorite scenes was when Eddie checks the guys stealing metal by daring them to shoplift at the mall. That scene had me laughing so hard that I would almost miss the next hilarious scene.
I enjoyed this flick but oddly enough as I walked out I heard two large ladies (and when I say large I mean defensive line in the NFL type of weight on a smaller less fit individual) complaining about some inconsistency in the story. I had a similar thought about a weird plot thing that bugged me a bit but I thought "Hey this is a comedy.... who cares!" and got over it. The ladies, who could block for Phillip Rivers (QB for San Diego), were actually complaining about something that happened that I am still not sure about, what I mean is they were talking about a detail that I do not even remember occurring. Their whiny natures made me want to revoke their abilities to see a free movie. It was not like the studio execs were going to rework scenes a week before the dang thing is coming out! So why bother the poor worker with all your stupid plotholes? The only real answer, of course, is that you are stupid. Speaking of stupid, all these people that I was around as I walked out of the movie were whining that it was taking 5 seconds longer to leave the theater because people are expected to give an opinion about the free movie they just saw. One lady was like "I can't understand why we are not exiting the theater!" Her friend agreed with some words that sounded just as stupid. I said, "It's because they are collecting comments as we exit." Some other idiot said, "It seems like they could move out into the lobby a little more so we could get out." "My first reaction was to look at him sympathetically, like you would if some mentally handicapped dog was humping your leg After I pushed the guy off my leg, I said, "Well, I think a few seconds longer to leave while being asked to give an opinion is a pretty good deal for a movie. If they were to move it back a little bit you might not get a chance to put in your 2 cents. Not that your 2 cents would be worth much...." At this point people stopped talking out loud around me, I am not sure why. Anyway go see this movie! Also go to Gofobo.com and then join my free movie crew at the next flick. Just make sure to whine about the exit time later or I will mock you as we leave. (BTW whining about a crappy movie is fine, I did that at the stupid bird movie)

Texas Killing Fields; A Rambling Review

2011-10-20T23:52:00.000-07:00

My free movie trend was slower then usual this week. I only had a free pass from the Facebook version of Gofobo.com, Buzzbo Phoenix. It was for the Texas Killing Fields and I was not sure I would make it in time to get a free flick considering they just posted it for anyone on Facebook to download and print off. I arrived later then normal but I had plenty of seats to choose from, not many people came. I think it might have something to do with the title being Texas Killing Fields. Every one hears that title and immediately assumes it is some trashy horror flick but it is a cop story. Combine the misled belief, that it is a horror flick, with the fact that this is the month of October and people did not pay much attention. Which was good for my late arrival but probably not good for their sales numbers. This review is going to sound bad and I feel bad about that but it is mainly because it is kind of bad. I want to let you know that through out the whole thing I could not help but be curious about these characters which is a positive. It was a very good base to build upon but it needs the details filled in. Without the details for the other story lines, that it drops everywhere, we are left with a very simple story that we already know the outcome of. I wanted to like this movie but I kept finding myself thinking that the movie was never going to end, which is not a good thing when it is only about an hour and 45 minutes long. So I have mixed emotions, I want to like it but I keep discovering holes in the story and plot as I keep thinking about it. So I guess I have to say that I did not like it and wish that they had shown it to me earlier so I could have suggested some changes be made. Unfortunately that is not going to happen, but here is a review of Texas Killing Fields.

The movie is set in and around Texas City, TX and is based on a real story. Actually, the movie states that it was inspired by a true story, which leads me to believe it is not as "true story" as they want you to believe. I may be wrong...

The story opens up with a shot of a swampy, marsh area and an abandoned car with the doors thrown wide. Then we get introduced to our 3 main players, two of which are cops. One is named Mike and the other's name escapes me, funny that I remember the character with my name. I just looked it up and discovered the other cop's name is Brian. The third character is a 14-ish girl named Anne. This girl played a vampire in Let Me In which was the American remake of Let the Right One In, which are both good movies although my preferred version is the original one. The girl is alone at a gas station and seems to have nothing to do and the 2 cops are at a homicide crime scene. Later on, after they have left the dead body behind, the cops stop and talk to her as she wanders the street and we find out this girl is on probation (which never gets explained and this lack of information is still bothering me) and has a drug addicted and a prostitute for a mom. They drive the girl, who they know from prior experiences (that are never explained either), to her home where we meet a group of guys and the mom. We find out later that one of the guys that files out is this girl's brother but it was not clear to me during the scene. My focus was on Mike, who is in the process of staring down some smarmy guy. The creepy guy seems to accept the proffered challenge but no fists fly and not a whole lot of words are exchanged. They leave the home and those at the home are now a bit more tense and you are now twice as worried about this poor girl. When they are driving away we get introduced to a 4th character who I would dub lead supporting character. She is another police officer from a neighboring district, named Pam, and she is calling for Brian and during the conversation we learn she is the ex of Mike (once again a piece of interesting information that never gets explored). She has found the car we saw in the opening scene and she wants help form Brian but Mike is adamant that he shouldn't help her. He follows his partner's advice (kind of) and says when she finds the body to call him. What was weird was that after this conversation she gets to the car and starts hollering at people. Why would she call for help on a case before their really is a case? Why would she call that quickly anyway? Is she the only cop in her district? It certainly doesn't look like that when we see her station the next day. We get treated to a scene where she is beating up some guy and asking him about his visits with women. We do not ever see this guy again and she never gets called on assaulting him. We do get treated to Mike showing up and telling her that her request for Brian ended up with her working with him instead. Except she hasn't found a body so why did she make the call? As I write this I realize that I am just getting more and more dissatisfied, this was not a good movie. Meanwhile, the other case has some starring candidates for the first murder. There seems to be a pimp involved with the dead girl and he has a crazy Nazi tattooed friend. This was a weird pairing because the pimp was a big, giant black guy and he was hanging with the creepy, also giant, Nazi tattoo guy. Anyway they are guilty of something if not all. The movie contains more verbal exchanges, another cop assault (Brian hits a guy), a car chase, a shootout and a stabbing. The one thing I have to question is the one near rape of a lady who is home with her daughter, it seems like a stupid scene and we never see her again after the scene ends. So we are treated to a traumatic scene for no clear reason. I have no idea why it was in there, it was not needed and only helped muddy the water. There are a few scenes that aren't explained as well as a few random characters (including Brian's wife and family). A lot of the movie's characters were not explained and their issues were not explored and I found that had this been done that this would be a good movie. With it not done it is basically a slightly boring movie with good actors in it.

As far as the direction of the movie, I found a lot of the shots looked crappy and kind of low budget. There are several points where their are black screens while the scene changes. There are often weird edits and cuts that make you think someone was showing off recently learned editing skills. A lot of these things occurred to me as I watched the movie and I do not claim to be an expert in the art of movie directing. If these things caught my eye, being a film making novice, then it makes me wonder what a more tenured film professional saw. The worst part was all the fancy editing actually only seemed to make me aware of time passing. It made me come out of the movie completely and wonder when it was all going to end. The worst part was that it's weird slapped together and disorganized feel made me think that it was a very early version of the film and that edits will be made. Which would be fine except that the movie came out in some theaters last week and I am assuming that it is due out in more theaters soon. If you have to see this movie make sure you rent it and that you don't pay more then a buck or a netflix monthly subscription to do so.

Bear with me: the interview

2011-10-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

She got a concerned look on her face as she looked at her mobile phone and said to me, "Bear with me for a moment."

That was not the first time I had heard this from her and I had only met her 5 minutes ago. I felt annoyed by this phrase more so then the fact that we kept getting interrupted. I was dressed in a 3 piece suit and interviewing for a job that I secretly hoped I didn't get but that I desperately needed. It was not a big deal that it was not going well or that I wasn't holding her attention. It was mainly the idea that she kept seeming so falsely apologetic. It is not like you can ever say "Forget that ya repulsive beast! I am not bearing with you, you either focus on my needs or I go home!" I am not the person in power, we are not meeting during my busy day, and I definitely didn't have something she needed so that she could pay the rent. She was the person in power, who made time during a busy day (sort of, since she was constantly dealing with other issues) and had a job available that could prevent me from eating paste and living in a refrigerator box behind the local Best Buy. The thing is that it wasn't even the fact that the phrase relies on a false belief that I am really bearing with you and that we are in some rough patch together. The phrase reminds me of that awful cat picture that has a cat dangling by one claw and above it are the words "Hang in there!" The cat is already doing that! Why doesn't that jerk of a photographer put the stupid camera down and help that cat out!? What you don't see in that picture is the huge vat of acid the photographer put under the cat. Stupid evil photographer! No one really likes that poster except for simpletons and soon to be crazy cat ladies. In fact one store had a promotion once where if you made a purchase they gave you that poster and the building was set on fire and the owner was run out on a rail. I am sure that last bit is completely true and in no way just popped into my head. Why am I talking to myself? Will this fricking lady get off the phone?!? Crap she is doing the sympathetic frown/smile thing, that shows she really values me but has to deal with the phone issue. Which brings me back to the original thought, why does "bear with me" get stuck in my craw? (BTW I hate that phrase too, who has a craw these days? Crabs with speech impediments?). The phrase, bear with me, bothers me because it is spelled like the animal and yet if I clawed her desk or pooped in her minifridge I would be in trouble. So somehow I am expected to "bear" with her without doing bear-like things. I should probably google the phrase.... It probably has nothing to do with bears.

"Sorry about that, busy day around here." She says as she puts the phone down. "Where were we?"

You had just asked the ever sucktacular question about what my weaknesses are and I was trying not to bear with you (meaning, of course, that I was resisting the urge to poop in your minifridge). "I am not sure exactly, I think I had just talked about some challenges I had faced that I had been able to find solutions for." When in doubt, change the subject.

"Oh.... ok... yes, I see that here... so why don't you restate that to me so that I make sure I got it all."

Wow, who is not paying attention to me at all? You aren't! Where should I start? I could tell her about the crazy guy that I made so happy he broke into dance. I made him happy by putting enough mayo on his sandwich and apparently I was the first to ever get it right. That probably isn't good enough..... what is believable but better then all my actual experiences? How about if that crazy guy wasn't crazy but he was someone who had a conference that I was able to negotiate a great price for food and beverages and he started doing business with us on a regular basis? Too far fetched? I got it I will just have him send a thank you note to the store thanking me for my tremendous effort and attention to details. Done. I think she liked it.... and now some witty banter from her. When will this end? I feel kind of hungry. Did she just offer me a job? Did I just say yes? People love sandwiches! I want a sandwich! I wonder if yelling random facts about bears would be ok at this juncture. I wonder if she likes sandwiches.

"I'll go get the paper work from HR and if you will just bear with me we can get you stated tomorrow."

That does it! I am at least going to urinate on her plastic plant.....

The Great Satellite Caper

2011-10-17T19:46:00.000-07:00

It was late September and the news media was alive with the tale of the crashing satellite. I had talked about it with my class at school that very day and we had discussed where it would land and where it was coming from. It tied directly in with the subject we were discussing, the layers of the atmosphere. My students left school knowing the satellite would not fall in their backyards but eager to see where it did fall. I arrived at my mom's house for a nice dinner and somewhere along the way we began discussing the satellite. That was when she dropped this bombshell, "Today when I picked up Becky I saw a piece of the satelliteon the road near her work." I laughed at her and figured she was kidding but she wasn't and she was determined to be heard. She insisted she saw it and that she had shown it to Becky. So I ask, "How do you know it was a satellite piece?" Her responsewas "It was sitting in the middle of the road, what else could it be?" I had several arguments to dispute that but I decided to take a different route. "Did you get out and look at it?" She had not of course. "Mom, I am still not understanding why you think this was part of the satellite, were other people noticing it? Were the cops around?" No one else seemed interested and no cops were involved. "So.... you saw what looked like a piece of the satellite and you did not immediately stop and scoop it up?" That had not occurred to her but what had was "I was just relieved that the satellite had fallen and that we no longer needed to worry about it." I continued asking questions. "were ther any craters in the ground? Had it even left an impact on the concrete? It hadn't of course and my only real question was why she thought it was a part of the satellite. I could not discern any facts or reasons that she thought it was the satellite. As far as I could tell she figured it was a satellite because it was in the middle of the road and it was metal. I started asking about why Becky had not insisted on stopping and getting a good look. She was not sure but thought maybe Becky was just relieved like she was. I realized I was getting nowhere and all of a sudden I wanted this piece of the satellite. She offered to get the satellite the next day but I was nervous that it might actually be the real satellite and that I might miss my chance. I was playing the odds you see. I figured it was a win win. Either I would find a piece of the satellite inexplicably in the middle of the road in a business zoned area of Phoenix or I would find some random piece of metal that I could write a blog about. So we hopped in my truck and she showed me the way. It was not where it had been and it was not until we were leaving that she saw that some one had moved it out of the road. We stopped the car and we grapped it and gently put it in the truck and now I want you to tell me.... do you think this is part of the satellite? Should I call NASA?

Two More....

2011-10-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

I saw two more movies this week. One was free thanks to Gofobo.com and the Arizona Republic. Here are the reviews...

The Way

I was the motivating factor for my free movie watching crew to see this movie. Last weekend we saw the code for two movies in the paper. One was the terribly boring flick, The Big Year, and the other was for this movie. The crew had decided that this particular theater was outside of their travel boundaries. I drive a lot for my job and that has changed what seems far and what doesn't for me. I pushed and they came along. Which of course meant that this movie that I had never heard of had to be god or else I would have whiny companions. They might have rioted. You know how angry older (then me) people get. I have seen shows about the 60's they like protesting! The good news is that riots and protests were not ever staged because the flick came through. The movie is about a man and his estranged son. Of course it is really about the man because his estranged son dies in France on his first day of a pilgrimage that apparently lots of people participate in. The father goes to collect his son's body and his things and spontaneously decides to do the pilgrimage for him. As he walks he ends up collecting some unwanted tag-alongs that make the journey interesting and finally help him confront his son's death. It is really well acted, the cinematography is amazing, and the story is pretty lighthearted despite some very serious issues that the people involved are dealing with. It stars Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez (also the director, I believe) and some other people.... ;)

Dream House

If you caught the preview then you have seen this movie. If you have not seen the preview then you have a chance of enjoying it. If you have not seen the preview, and/or want to see the movie, stop reading, this is your last warning. James Bond (who cares about his real name) is a retiring editor who is very successful and well liked. He has a hot wife and two adorable girls that he is leaving his job to spend more time with and to write that ever elusive great novel. The first issue I had with the movie was here. I got the feeling this was the '40's or something until I got a good look at the city and saw graffiti as he rode the train. The next thing that bothered me was that Elias Koteas was on that train being creepy. Elias Koteas has starred in a lot of movies and you will recognize him right away. When I see him I always figure he is a bad guy because I think I have seen him be a bad guy in a lot of movies. He was a crazy serial killer in Fallen and I will always recognize him and associate him with that movie. Anyway when he gets to his new town, a lady who sold him the house picks him up but he doesn't remember her. Then all of his neighbors, cops and towns people seem to hate this guy. He seems like a nice guy and it seems weird. Of course right about here I remembered why, that stupid trailer!!! He isn't a retiring editor. He is a dude who is crazy and just got out of a psych ward and everyone thinks he killed his family. What is weird is in the movie he starts looking greasy and dirty before the reveal that he is the crazy suspected killer.So you keep thinking why hasn't he put on new clothes? Because he is imagining a nice home and a nice family but he is living in his condemned home where his family died. So after the reveal they kind of have us straddle two worlds with him and it seems to be going nowhere. Apparently the director thought so too because suddenly it is dangerous for him to live in his house (according to his hot neighbor). That is when we discover what really happened that night. The ending seemed slapped on and it just kind of felt unsatisfying. Was it terrible? No. Was it worth seeing for 7 to 13 bucks at the theater? no. If you really must see this flick, rent it for a buck or wait for it to stream on Netflix. The movie starts off so well and interesting that I still can't fathom how the second half came about. It seemed like a good premise but not real well thought out. I saw this movie with my nephew and he has his own take on it, you can read about it here: http://thechocolatecow.wordpress.com/2011/10/16/good-night-good-morning/

Free Movies!

2011-10-11T19:45:00.000-07:00

The last couple of weeks I have seen 4 movies for free thanks to Gofobo.com.
I figure I owe it to you, my reading public, to review the movies I have seen.
50/50

This movie is about a guy who gets diagnosed with a rare form of cancer that has a survival rate of 50/50. Hence the name of the movie. It is a movie that deals with his journey from being diagnosed and through his treatment. It is pretty darn good and I laughed quite frequently. I was with some people who are older then I am and they enjoyed the movie despite Seth Rogan's supportive friend character being obsessed with having sex and for his cancer ridden buddy to participate in the sexing of willing females. It was a good movie and there are a lot of laughs despite such a heavy topic. I would recommend that you check it out.

Ides of March

This is a political thriller that was super depressing (and not really very thrilling). I hated this movie. I am not sure exactly why..... well that is not true. I went in with a different expectation of what the movie was about. I guess the name implied to me a more Caeser type story, where the powerful politician ends up dead. This might be a spoiler but he doesn't. The other thing that was going on is that it paints such a hopeless and bleak picture of the political landscape that leaves you cold and defeated.

Footloose

I loved the first version of this movie, especially the overly dramatic dance punching sequence (which the movie Hot Rod expertly lampooned). I had mixed feelings when I heard it was being remade but considering how dated the original is I though that it could be a good thing. I am happy to confirm that this was a great movie. I am not the only one who thought so, the crowd watching it with me cheered at the end of this film. It has a very similar story line and utilizes some of the original music. They did change the story and the storytelling a little bit, which was a very good thing. If you do not know Footloose from the original you may want to skip ahead. It starts with the preacher's son losing his life and advocating for the new set of laws. I have to say it was nice to see it before it is randomly explained. It gives you a little more of a connection to the town. Then Ren comes to town, a few years later, on a bus. He is alone and we find out his mother passed away after a long sickness. I liked this differing version a lot because it set up a better connection between Ren and his aunt, uncle and cousins. The best change was that the uncle was not a jerk like he was in the original. I hated the original uncle! So lame! The other major change was that the speach he gives to the council is actually a good one. He starts off nervous but soon is passionately talking about the dancing laws. It seemed more authentic then Kevin Bacon's super awkward speech. There are a few other changes but discover them on your own. As far as the music we have a lot of the originals including Footloose and Let's Hear it for the Boy. The latter is still used as the song that the awkward non-dancing friend learns to dance with. Go see this movie it is awesome!

The Big Year

This movie has a lot of outstanding people in it. That would lead you to believe that it should be awesome. Unfortunately it is a weak concept, three bird dorks are trying to see the most birds they can in a year to be named number one birder..... I am not making it up. That is the entire concept. The laughs are few and far between and the people are only moderately interesting. It was not a bad movie as much as it is a boring movie. I have no more words for this dreck!

9/11; 10 years later

2011-09-11T13:03:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one who found I was unable to watch the news replay the entire coverage of the terrorist attack? I saw it all almost as it happened and I was glued to the television for weeks after. I sometimes think that tragedy is the reason I never make it through the news any more. It was like I watched enough news coverage for a life time.

I feel like I experienced the tragedy a little harder then those around me, I am talking about my immediate circle, because it was during one of my many periods of unemployment. That means I soaked in the tragedy in a non-stop viewing because I had nothing else to do. In fact, I had an interview that day and I even went to it. I dressed up in a tie and showed up feeling dazed and out of it. While I waited I watched the news reports on their television. During the interview we even talked about it. When I left I listened to the radio and when I got home I watched even more coverage. I found myself with friends watching it and over at my families house watching it. I was living and breathing a disaster.

It was terrible watching the footage over and over again. Seeing them circle those trapped people who decided to jump before starting the footage again. Watching that f'n second plane crash into the other tower. Watching both of them collapse. Seeing the people evacuating the area. I remember feeling super powerless and I had a burning need to do something. To help. To strike back. How do you help when you have no money to travel and donate time? I was a breath away from joining the armed forces. I never did because what I really wanted to do was go there and help the survivors and hopefully help find some alive in the wreckage. I never really figured out how to make that happen. Of course seeing how the government has treated those brave people, who could and did help, makes me count my blessings. I could be dying from the toxic fumes right now as a lot of those first responders are. I also feel lucky that I did not join the armed forces because it seems they pulled a bait and switch. We wanted to find those who did this and exact justice but that was not what happened. The mission became tainted for other reasons that I still do not understand. Nearly 10 years after he organized that terrorist attack we finally got Bin Laden but he was able to live in a place that was not very secretive for who knows how long and masturbate to American porn films. I am glad he is dead. If that makes me terrible... so be it.

I tried to watch the memorial coverage today and the people who actually lost people to that day were inspiring. They are so strong, it is amazing. Unfortunately they couldn't just stick with that. They had to show their coverage of the event in it's entirety and that felt overwhelming. I feel so bad for the people directly affected by this. They must go through hell every time the anniversary comes around. To have to relive that terrible day every year. I know it is part of history but I think I need a little more time to pass before I will be comfortable watching the footage. I don't even know anyone who died as a result of it, so I can onlyimagine how thise that do feel. I wish the news could focus on the survivors and how they are doing and what help we, as a nation can offer them.

I am shocked that we are not taking care of the first responders. I am happy that CNN did a special with Sanjay Gupta about what was in the dust. I recorded it and will be viewing it later this week. Hopefully it helps us get our government's butts in gear! I hope we can figure out how to take care of all those affected by this tragedy and I decided I needed to do something so I included a few links in this post. I am sure there are more out there so if you know of one please leave it in the comments or email me at: crazedlunatik@gmail.com

A few organizations that are trying to help:
http://www.911helpamerica.com/
http://www.familiesofseptember11.org/
http://www.fealgoodfoundation.com/index.html

This site had a few more links to look at:
http://www.fealgoodfoundation.com/links.html

Phone Drama

2011-07-05T16:43:00.000-07:00

I am dealing with phone drama and have almost decided to go prepaid..... I am so tired of paying what I pay for the phone service. I have not been happy with my reception or the quality of the phone. I have the notion that part of my drama with my phone company stems from my uber-crappy phone and that might be the case. Unfortunately when I tried to rectify this situation I ended up getting into a bigger hole. Somehow I ended up with 2 lines when all I wanted was one with a new phone. I am still paying for a phone I no longer have and the amount I am paying I might as well be with Verizon as it is only 10 bucks more then what I pay now. Of course the representative assures me that this is all being fixed and that I will be refunded the money. In the meantime I am doing my research and I have realized that several companies out there have a prepaid plan with a smartphone and a monthly unlimited plan for 50 bucks. I think the writing is officially on the wall.... goodbye regular and super expensive plans, hello prepaid!

The company I am currently with is T-Mobile. The plan I am on should be 69.99 plus a 7 buck protection plan and of course the stupid taxes and what not associated with mobile phones. What I am paying however is around 108 bucks! In March I had a revelation, the phone I had was the reason I had terrible service. It was slow and annoying when I tried to use the android features. This is not the case on other phones that other people have. Nor was it the case with the phone I got for the week before realizing T-Mobile had taken stupid pills. I have been with T-Mobile for what seems close to 6 years. I was until this last year pretty happy with them. This last year I have been using this stupid Motorola Cliq. It seemed that this might be the issue. Add to that te fact that I was in Globe and spent my time on the nearby Apache Reservation. I figured it was just a bad mobile phone area. I talked to my sister and brother-in-law, who are T-Mobilers, and they get service where I don't. So I decided to get a new phone and for 5 glorious days I had a phone that worked and was fun to use. Then I went online to see about getting a case for it and I discovered I suddenly had 2 lines. I immediately called and told them that 2 lines was never my intent. I told them that I wanted the phone but not the extra line. They assured me they could do that but that I would need to send back the phone I had spent hours transferring phone numbers too. They told me that they would send a new, new phone to me and it would all work out. They put me on hold and typed away and when they came back they had more stupidly bad news. The payments I had arranged would need to change. As I was listening I realized that I did not feel like dealing with it. I told them I was sending everything back and that I no longer wanted the new phone due to their error. 3 months later I am still trying to get it cleared up.

This is the reason I am looking so hard for a new phone company. The phones I really want are expensive (even with the 2 year agreement) and then the stupid plans are too. That was why I started looking at prepaid plans. The phones are about the price I would pay for a phone anyway but the plans are cheaper.... by half. So I am deciding between Boost and Cricket and leaning towards Boost. Hopefully with the result of a little less grief.

The Video Rental Reviews

2011-06-30T18:35:00.000-07:00

The video rental reviews are in...

The Green Hornet - A lot of people have spent time talking about how terrible this movie was. They made some valid points but I wouldn't say it was as bad as they claimed it to be. It is a goofy Seth Rogan movie... what did they expect? Having said that, this is coming from someone who has never seen the original Green Hornet show. So I have no real frame of reference. All I know about the original is that Bruce Lee played Kato which means it must have been cooler then this one. If you want mindless and semi-entertaining then this be your flick!

Drive Angry - If I felt like lying I would tell you that I saw this because I wanted to save you from the horror of seeing it. SO.... I saw this to save you from the horror of seeing it. You are welcome. I thought this movie would be similar to Faster (which I also saw, do you see how much I do for you?) It was not like Faster and yet it was. Nicholas Cage plays.... uh... I forgot his name.... Either way he is super mad, some might even say that he was angry. HEY! Wait a minute! I bet that is how they got the ANGRY part of the name! Anyway he is killing people who were involved with the murder of his daughter and the kidnap and planned killing of his granddaughter. Which seems like a good thing to do... you know especially if you happen to be an escapee from Hell! Yeah you read that right! Nicholas escaped from Hell to revenge his daughter and recover his granddaughter. He is being pursued by the very scary Accountant (he works for the devil, I think). Nope, I am not making this up. This movie is kind of like Spawn, Faster, The Crow, and Ghost Rider all in one. This movie was not good at all but I am still kind of glad I saw it. If you sometimes like bad movies then this one definitely qualifies.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules - I liked this movie. If you (or the kid that you are hiding behind, "I take my kid to kid movies, I only sometimes enjoy them") like the books then you will like this second movie. Self centered Greg Heffley is back at his scheming to become popular. He is also dealing with sibling drama. Mom has made it her mission to get the boys to get along but in typical mom (tv/movie mom) fashion she is terribly misguided. What she ends up doing is making the boys battle harder. Until Greg and Rodrick have something to hide and they bond over the experience (but for how long?). I like this character and hope they keep making the movies and books.

The Fighter - I am sure a good chunk of the people reading this have seen this flick. This was a great movie and one I think those that haven't seen it should check out. It is based on the real life story of boxer Micky Ward. He is going through a rough patch in his life. Things with his family are not going well. His brother is a crack addict and not really doing his best to look out for Micky despite being Micky's trainer. His mom and sisters are completely devoted to his crack addicted brother and seem to take Micky for granted. What is worse is his mom is his manager and she also fails to look out for Micky's best interest. They allow him to get beat by a much larger opponent so that everyone can get paid. When he gets home Micky gets involved with a woman from the bar, who ends up being his wife (they don't show this). Together they start making changes that ultimately get him back winning matches again. This is a very involved movie and it was great to watch. See it if you haven't. Just for clarity sake, I recommend renting it. I have no desire to watch this family interact again because I found myself yelling at the TV in disgust a few times. Make sure you know that it is a movie you want to see again before buying it.

I Am Number Four - This movie felt like a great start to a new series on ABC Family. That is not necessarily a bad thing. ABC Family has occasionally created good shows like Kyle XY and 10 Things I Hate About You (based off the much earlier movie of the same name). I enjoyed the film but had a few moments of "WHAT THE HECK!?!?! STOP KISSING AND RUN!!!!" It is basically a love story with a side of sci fi. The main guy.... John Smith (I am not sure of his real name as he is in hiding and using a fake name, this super fake sounding fake name) is a high school aged alien who wants to be a real boy. Wait, nope that "wants to be a real boy" bit is definitely Pinocchio. Anyway he is tired of running around and hiding but has no choice. His latest new home leads him to make a friend and land the hottie from Glee. It also makes him not liked by the Sheriff's son. Also, during this time he starts developing his new awesome powers (which include lame flashlight hands shown above). Of course the bad dudes he is hiding from are getting closer each day. What will happen? Anyway being "Number Four" of nine aliens hiding on our world ends up not being a bad gig because you get to make out with a cute girl and blow things up. This movie doesn't do anything new or extraordinary but it was fun to watch.

A Collection of Movie Reviews

2011-06-29T21:06:00.001-07:00

I can't believe I promised to write more.... Ha!

I have been seeing movies a lot the last few weeks and I feel like I should give my take. To do this I am reviving the "Mini Rambling Review". Let's start with the movies that are currently in the theater.

X-Men First Class - Despite having the lamest name ever, this movie was pretty darn entertaining. It gives us the beginnings of two distinct factions in the Marvel mutant world. The X-Men and Magnetos peeps (do those guys have a name for the crew?) Having read some early issues (Thanks dad!) I know that the origins of Professor X was not something they kicked off with. This is a recent thing, the Professor X story I mean. I do not remember the early comics having this much back story. They had very simple origins. For example: Cyclops was a kid who suddenly started shooting magenta rays from his eyes and next thing you know he is kicking bad guy but with his tights wearing posse. Even the Wolverine back story was invented well after Wolverine was a popular character. I am getting off track here...... The movie was good, see it.

I am so upset! I typed away on this for an hour and it all disappeared because of a server error! GRRRRRR!!! Anyway I guess I will start over...

Super 8 - I enjoyed this movie. A group of kids are shooting a monster movie when a train crashes. Of course the train was carrying something very mysterious and it causes havoc in the small Ohio town. The kids get back to filming their movie but can't help getting sucked into the strange happenings. You should see this movie it was well done and the kids did a great job.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - The long awaited SECOND installment of the pirates franchise has finally arrived. Muhahahahaha! Yes I know there were 4 movies but the 2nd and 3rd were worthless so I am ignoring them and you should too. Anyway in this second movie Captain Jack Sparrow gets sucked into a hunt for the fountain of youth. He is up to his usual amusing antics the entire time including flirting with a foxy lady (Penelope Cruz this time). Apparently Penelope is Blackbeard's Daughter and she is helping pops find the fountain of youth so that he does not die. There are also mermaids in this one. It was fun. Not groundbreaking or anything but definitely entertaining.

Since this is the second time I am typing this I am going to separate the video rentals from the theater flicks. I will also have a review of Green Lantern and/or Transformers soon.

College? Really??! The mid-college dropout crisis and how to deal.

2011-05-27T17:33:00.000-07:00

I write this on my 6th graders last day.... Of course per my interest in self-preservation (employability wise) this is not about them. Nor is it about the school. If you want those stories we should meet up over drinks and some grub (hey I would even do coffee). I am mainly writing today to develop a writing habit over the summer. Luckily for you I have something to type incessantly about (as opposed to previous posts where I brought nothing substantial to the table). Allow me to "word vomit all over you" if you will.... even if you won't. Oh and don't forget to excuse the grammatical errors but if you see them please do me a favor and let me know about it. I can always use the help, especially after taking the entire year off from doing any serious writing.

Last night, I was watching a television program, one of those programs referred to as a sitcom. It is not a particularly awesome sitcom but I find myself chuckling enough to leave it in my dvr settings and watch it sometime during the week. In this sitcom a college aged kid quits school and ends up running off to Hawaii. Within 3 days this kid lands a place to sleep and a place to work (which is super amazing). His mom, dad and all her friends fly out to convince him to come home. I am thinking "why?" As I see it there are those who can seamlessly go from high school to college. They have the drive, they have figured out the funding and they have a plan. Then there are those who go because it is expected of them. This kid was one of those people. He is smart and will get back on track but he hit a few road bumps and decides to drop out and live life for a while. The people on the show see it as throwing his life away but I could not disagree more. Sometimes a step back puts things in to perspective. I was a kid who wanted to drop out and be in the real world. I had no direction and no idea what I wanted out of life (I am still figuring it out). I had concerned parents who pushed hard against the walk away I wanted to do. I stayed in school and graduated college. I got a degree in a field I only spent a year and a half doing post college but I have a paper showing my effort. After that career path tanked I spent the next 7 figuring out what I really wanted. I decided on teaching.... This year made me question the whole "really wanted" part of that but it is still something I see value in. The first degree was kind of a throw away degree. It has very little value besides the fact that it allowed me to get a masters degree.

I had a great time in college and I have several really good friends because I stuck with it. I still wonder what my path would have been like had I experienced the corporate world sooner. It is a mixed bag. There was good and bad, in my case, by continuing in school. There would have been some good and bad had I dropped out as well (I do understand that). However I did spend 7 years in jobs with no real future in them (despite trying to make one out of a few).

I guess what I am saying is, if you are a parent, listen to your kids and curb the knee jerk reaction to push them back into school. Sit down with them and discuss it; push for you side of the argument, make your case, but ultimately leave it in their hands. If your child deciding to call it quits on school worries you too much, work out a plan. If you are one of the people who can afford to foot the bill, that they are walking away from, have them repay you or make them finish the term out. In fact strongly encourage them to at least finish the term whether you gave them money or not. No reason to waste the money if it can be helped. They can get a tutor if that is the issue and putting "some college" on applications might actually help (I have no real idea on that one). Make them move out (if they are still in your home) at the end of the term. When they finish the term, place a year date on the reevaluation of where they are in life and what they want from life. When you sit down with someone who has a year of real world work experience under their belt they may see the benefits of school open up before their eyes. While they work have them save a portion of their check for schooling while they work. This will help them decrease school costs when they finally do go back. Continue to push them in their work life like you would in their school life. Expectations and honest dialogue might help them really figure out what they want in life.

Keep in mind that plenty of people make really good money without a degree. It is harder to do but the extremely driven person (most of us do not qualify) can make things happen. Also, remember the wonders of trade school. So Billy hates reading Emily Dickinson or solving large and overly complicated equations, that does not mean Billy has no interests that will turn into a well paying career. I love the idea of trade schools. I think they really feel voids that people forget we still need filled. Not everyone can be a doctor or a lawyer (or a teacher) and there is no shame in that. It is only shameful if you give up altogether. In fact, if someone can spend half the time or a quarter of the time and end up in a field they want to be in I would say they definitely succeeded.

Life sometimes interrupts all the best laid plans and getting school out of the way can sometimes help you avoid that. I understand that argument. It makes sense but it is flawed. For one thing the unexpected can still happen to a college student. Another thing, sometimes that undecided, rudderless college kid ends up getting a history degree, a communications degree, or an English degree with no real plan on how to put it to use. This is a really big issue in my eyes. This type of degree with no real plan in place will put that kid in a job that any high school graduate can get. Believe me... I've been there. A lot of those jobs tend to be the type where the less you know the easier they become. Just ask my old managers, a lot of them were as smart as moldy cheese. Yes, I am saying that regular cheese has an edge on them. My big point is that when you spend thousands of dollars on education you need a freaking end goal. Some sort of realistic plan. Just ask my student loans... they are large and could care less that my dream of being rich and famous never really took off.

In other countries it is common for the high school grad (or the equivalent term) take a year off and experience the world. They travel, they work jobs, they eat ramen, and they have a great time. When they get back it is expected that they will buckle down and start putting a life together. I like this model. I am a huge fan of the walkabout and would like to see it occur in the US a little more often. Especially for the unclear and the undecided (perhaps even the life decision phobic). The world is an interesting place and it is important to look around and get a feel for what is going on. I think the more outside of the classroom experience you get the better off you are when you do pursue that newly formed dream. Which leads me to my final idea, a lot of the time jobs want you to have experience these days. It is not easy to get a job out of college or high school that is high paying and has a real career track no matter what the degree is. One thing everyone should do; whether you have a degree and are still looking for that dream job, are a recent high school graduate, a current high school student, a current college student or a person on a walkabout; volunteer in a field that interests you. Get your feet in the door, get experience and see if that ideal job really is ideal. You definitely benefit from volunteering, perhaps not financially, but you get a real view of that world, experience to pad the resume, and you make those so very sought after connections.

Quick whine and then a Rambling Review of The Conspirator

2011-04-22T00:30:00.000-07:00

I picked a heck of a week to take off from adult beverages. Rough week and this time it had nothing to do with my students. Anyway, I am cleansing the system for a while (at least a week). I am also trying to see if the resistance to alcohol helps me increase the pound sheddage. I have lost about 7 pounds since the beginning of March and I feel like the Friday night imbibage needs to be curbed a bit to aid my exercising and change in diet. We shall see.

Last weekend I saw a great movie with my mom and Becky. It was called The Conspirator. This movie crept up on me and I had no idea it existed until my mom mentioned it as a possible option to me. I was interested the minute they told me it involved President Lincoln's assassination.

I was amazed to see that Gilmore chick in it.... I think her moniker in that yappy show was Rory. Yes I do know her actual name... do you? It's Alexis Bleidel. I locked that name away because she was the reason I watched those 3 to 4 episodes of the Gilmore Girls. She is adorable... her character in this flick is a bit snooty though. Glad to see her working. As far as the movie was concerned it follows the trial of Mary Surratt who is basically tried because they can't catch her conspiring son (this was according to the movie, I am awful at my civil war era history and have done no research to verify it). SPOILER: She is basically railroaded into being hung and I feel like since this is historical this wasn't a freaking spoiler. I repeat she definitely hung for this crime, justified or not. My mother was also caught unawares by the ending which made me feel less shameful of my lack of historical knowledge. I have to tell you this was a great movie. Considering all I knew about that assassination was that John Wilkes Booth and some others conspired to kill Lincoln, I was completely blindsided by all the proceedings. I had no idea these guys set out to kill more then Lincoln and that they actually got another guy. I also had no idea what happened to the non John Wilkes Booth conspirators SPOILER: or that a woman was hanged. I like adding spoiler alerts in this review because it is based on historical events. I feel like one of those guys who tell you the Titanic sinks at the end of the movie Titanic. I know! Total mind blower! Should I put a spoiler alert around the Titanic bit? The only watchable part (besides a topless Minnie Driver) was when Leo froze up and sunk to the bottom of the sea. If they had only showed him getting chomped on by the sea life. Wait! I am reviewing The Conspirator (rather badly if I do say so myself). The conspirator is a well acted and very engaging movie based on historical events. It is definitely worth seeing. I did spend a great part of my time after the movie trying to figure out if they were trying to be political. I have reviewed a few flicks on here that have gotten people's dander up. My problem is that I am usually oblivious but this movie had a few story ending facts that seemed like they could be construed to favor a political side. I decided to put that out of my mind and take the movie at face value... because I hate being told what to believe. When I did that I found that I really enjoyed the movie and was almost completely unaware of the annoying people surrounding me (with the exception of the annoying people who had cell phones ringing). That fact says a lot, I am usually aware of every slack jawed sloth that surround me and I am usually irritated with them (sometimes just for breathing weird). Anyway go see the movie and try not to leave your freaking ringer on.....

A small update, a mini movie review, and a poem

2011-04-17T00:16:00.000-07:00

It was a weird week of testing at the school I work at. I think sitting quiet for two hours, for these kids, is like putting new batteries in a slow moving toy. All of a sudden that toy is moving with new purpose and can't wait to show you all the new tricks it has learned. What I am getting at is the rest of the day is filled with very excitable students who need to express themselves. Expecting them to focus after the test is over is simply insane. I tried to ask for their attention for brief periods and then allow them to work on their own at a reasonable noise volume. Of course my definition of reasonable noise volume is slightly higher then it was when I walked in as a brand new teacher. Either way it was relatively painless last week. This week we finish up the testing and I am trying to figure out how to be better prepared. I would like the week to be even smoother.

During the week I happened to fit in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I was hesitant to see this movie because the previews turned me off for some reason. I am happy to report that I was completely wrong about this movie. It was a very fun and entertaining little flick. I recommend that you check it out. I have heard it is based off of a comic book, more specifically I believe it was a Japanese comic book. I have done no research so I might be completely off my rocker. I don't plan on doing research for that matter. The movie is set up kind of like a video game. Scott Pilgrim fights ex-boyfriends of a dame he has the hots for and when he defeats them he gets rewarded with coins. There is also cheesy old school game music in the beginning. The movie is based around a guy named Scott Pilgrim who had his heart broken by a now famous rock chick. He seems to have a pattern of being in relationships he is not invested in since his dumping. He is in a floundering rock band and lives with a friend, and it is a studio with one bed, for free. He starts the movie off dating a seventeen year old girl with a cool name, Knives Chau, who ends up being a little stalkery and definitely a little intense. He then meets Ramona Flowers and is instantly enchanted. Of course because he is kind of a jerk, though a likable jerk, he fails to end the relationship with the 17 year old until a little later. He doesn't like dealing with emotions or something. Anyway eventually he discovers by choosing to pursue Ramona that he must battle her 7 evil exes to win her. This is not her idea but something she has been putting up with because of her habit of dating evil guys. It is kind of fun to watch the silly battles and see this scrawny kid come up a winner. It is kind of a strange movie but after my skepticism faded (like 2 minutes in) I really fell in love with it's quirkiness. In fact, I think I even had a mini crush on Scott's special lady friend. It has since passed (or has it?) but I do believe you might develop a crush while watching the movie too. Like I said go grab this flick and watch it!

And now for my first poem in months (hope it doesn't suck):

Spring: The Haiku
Warm days lure me out
for fantastic walks, hikes, runs and hoops.
Hold off summer heat!!

Drinking Made Easy

2011-04-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

I have been sick for over a month! This is ridiculous. As infuriating as that is I don't want to talk about it. I want to whine and complain about it but I definitely don't want to type about it.

I feel like I should talk about something I find fun and cool. So I won't do a review of the Adjustment Bureau (if you read between the lines I am implying that it sucked). In the very least it is boring.

Instead I will share my new found joy for Zane Lamprey's show.... Drinking Made Easy. I happened across it on accident. I was recording a guilty pleasure of mine when I first noticed the ads. I had to see the ad several times before I was ready to add it to my full slate of DVR'd shows. Even then I was putting it off for some reason. The show is about drinking and traveling. I like both of those things so my reluctance was mind boggling. And yet. When I finally pulled the trigger I enjoyed it but it would take several more episodes before I stopped deleting the episodes.

Here is the basic set up. Zane is touring the US hitting up cities and immersing himself in their drinking culture. He heads to really old bars, newer bars, bars with famous drinks, bars that are famous for other reasons besides drinks, signature drinks and little odd places. He drinks beers, mixed drinks and in one ill advised instance one of his cohort slammed a beer with a huge thing of ranch dressing dropped in it. He has two buddies who ride along and drink along with him, Marc and Steve McKenna. Steve McKenna was the guy who drank the ranch bomber and booted. Steve McKenna is always the guy who does the ill advised stuff. He started off the tour by being the local eating challenge guy but he kept losing so Zane now competes against him. It adds a nice level of trash talk to the event and makes me giggle. They also compete in a 6 six-pack challenge every episode which can be pretty damn funny. What is really cool is you learn about a lot of cool bars and special drinks in a city. Places you can go to when next you stop by. This is why I started to save them. I figure I can start checking them off the list when I know I am heading to that town. In fact, this week promises a show on San Diego.

A really amusing part of this show is that it has a drinking game component. So you can imbibe as you watch. I plan to do that one day. As of now it is not available in DVD format. You have to have HD Net.

Ps. if you are thinking that you prefer world travel he has a show for that too. Zane has a show where he is solo (if you don't count the camera crew) and he travels through various cities. The format is similar but I feel he gives a little more education on this show as a lot of places in other countries have some interesting drinks. That show is available on HULU and on Spike. The show is called Three Sheets. I have the book that trip inspired. Enjoy both shows!

Rebellion and a Movie

2011-04-04T23:15:00.000-07:00

It's past my bedtime.

It's past my bedtime and I just put in a movie.

The movie is an old standby. Pump Up The Volume. I am not sure exactly where my fascination with this movie comes from. I do have some form of an idea. I saw this movie in high school and, according to contemporary wisdom, that was when you form your identity. The music you listened to and the movies you saw become your favorites and follow you through life. That is fine and dandy but I really don't listen to a huge menagerie of old music that I pretended to like then. I also only have a handful of movies that I keep going back to. So what is it about this movie in particular?

Honestly? I think it started with the fact that my mother saw me watching it and heartily disapproved. In fact, I had to re-rent this movie to see the end a little later. Then I purchased it on VHS and kept it a secret. I have since upgraded to DVD because nobody should still be watching VHS. This movie is filled with bad words, sexual content and a nice looking topless girl. As much as that makes me love it, I don't think it is the reason I consider it one of my favorite movies ever. It's not even a guilty pleasure. I am not ashamed to love this movie because it really is damn good. One reason I like it is that it deals with the desperation and pursuit people feel to be relevant. It is focused on the teens and I identified with it then but I really identified with it during my meandering 20's. So far my rough riding 30's has not improved much and I still feel trapped and frustrated. My outlook is one of perpetual frustration. I am not sure why I feel that way. It seems like maybe I put too much faith in the next thing instead of embracing the here and now. Either way this movie does help remind me that I can do something and I can change my personal situation. Thus the movie about being stuck in a hard situation and finding a way to fight back, to rally back, is very appealing.

This movie made me want to become a pirate radio station DJ. I don't know why I never wanted to do the legit radio thing... I don't know why breaking the FCC laws, albeit a stupid set of laws, is so appealing, but it is. I tried to start an audio podcast at one point but kept running out of things to talk about. Once again I put it out there that I would willingly do a podcast again if someone was interested in being a co-host. Somebody to talk to and bounce ideas off of. We could make it weekly or even bi-weeekly. We could even have a few adult beverages as we did so. Of course that might cause it to be a little more profane....

Anyway.... it seems that my rebellion these days is confined to starting movies after my bed time and depriving myself of needed sleep. Talk about a rebel.

The New Years Card

2011-01-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

I just mailed out my Christmas/New Years Cards. A lot of you didn't get one so I included it here....

Happy New Year! Or as they say in Italy “Dove sono i miei pantaloni?”
I know most of you were expecting to see this card in the form of a Christmas greeting. I apologize for my inability to deliver on that but life has a habit of getting in the way. The French sum that up very elegantly with this phrase: “Est-il acceptable de merde ici?”
I guess, instead of spouting elegant French and Italian sayings, I should explain myself. It all happened very innocently and I like to think of myself as a pawn in the events that would take away my ability to deliver on a Christmas related paper greeting. It was a crisp November day, I believe it was a chilly 84 degrees, and I was headed to the post office to get some stamps. It occurred to me that I had no money for the stamps so I went in and held up the nearby bank. Which is a perfectly fine and acceptable thing to do if you live in Canada; but apparently it is not such a good idea in the US. I soon found myself in jail next to Randy Quaid who told me about his encounter with the aliens that caused him to commit some sort of crime. Hearing about that on television is one thing but to get the blow by blow account of all the probing was quite harrowing and kept me up that night. That inability to sleep was a boon for me because I was able to pretend to be another inmate who was getting bailed out at 4 AM. It was a little confusing at first for the person who paid my bail but she soon decided she liked me better than the other guy that was in there. Unfortunately that relationship was doomed before I ever stole her Mercedes and ran over her Zebra (which is an entirely different story).
I found myself still in need of stamps and without a penny to buy them with. So I decided to become a famous member of a boy band. They make lots of money and have marginal talent which meant I was perfect for the job. Unfortunately I did not see any ad in the paper for a boy band looking for their next big star. So I was back to square one. No stamps and no money. That was when I received an email that would (or, more accurately, will) change my life. Apparently I have a long lost relative in Zambia who died with no heirs to give his massive fortune of 4 gajillion Zambian dollars too (or $16.85 in US dollars with a minor transfer fee of $75.23 and of course the lawyer’s fee of $287.19, which is totally reasonable). So there I was and Christmas had passed without a single letter being sent while I awaited my huge Zambian fortune.
Luckily for you I found out that my neighbors have a laptop while I was stealing food from their fridge. That is why you have the extreme joy of getting a welcoming note for the new year. Thank you very much ugly neighbors! I hope your fridge is better stocked next time! Budweiser and Cheetos? Really?
Have a safe and successful new years, love,

Michael Williams
Ps. Think of me fondly as you envy my rapidly approaching fortune or as the Germans say “Seien Sie vorsichtig, oder der Bär wird deine Frau zu stehlen!”

The Christmas Cards...

2010-12-29T15:00:00.000-08:00

So, I have two boxes of Christmas cards sitting on my floor..... and absolutely no idea what to do. I like to make my cards offbeat and different. I enjoy making up little stories but I seem to be tapped at the moment. As a result my Christmas cards continue to lie there, mocking me.

The new job kept me hopping until the week of Christmas and I have been having trouble being responsible ever since the break began. I have been galavanting about Arizona (the Phoenix area in particular) doing nothing but hanging out and socializing. I am not sure there is a clever or creative spark left. I certainly don't feel it leaking out at parties. I seem to be filled with negative juju and no clear idea of how to get back to normal. I think the CHristmas cards will not be sent this year.... I will try to make it up to those of you that are waiting, somehow.

The Nissan Leaf Reviewed! (AKA Help Me Win!

2010-12-11T08:34:00.000-08:00

I recently drove the Nissan Leaf...... It was a beautiful December day in Tempe, AZ. There was an art fair happening, the fantastic Tempe Art Festival. I like to go there and look at things. I often find things to buy but I am perpetually too broke to buy anything. This time my experience was different. Nissan was there and they had brought along the Nisaan Leaf. They did a little education and then let you go for a little tiny test drive. When I was done taking the car around the block I was able to get a picture taken and to record a video. By recording the video I had successfully entered myself in a competition to win a Nissan Leaf. In order to win you need to see my video and vote for me! Go to this website: https://drivenissanleaf.com/Win/Vote.aspx?b=7J5HQ52X6P8E
Help me WIN a 100% electric Nissan LEAF™! View and vote for my video now!

You may ask how I liked the Nissan Leaf? Go ahead.... ask!

Still waiting.... c'mon ask me!

Wait this is a blog.... which means I can't hear you. I bet you are begging for a review! I am so sorry friend! I will review the car... but you should get off your knees. You look silly begging like that.

The Nissan Leaf is cute but not super compelling looking. It is another car that is designed for people who do not really like cars. It seems to be the trend with the more "eco-friendly" cars. Think about the ugliness that is the Honda Insight or the unsexiness that is the Toyota Prius. I am not real sure why they can't make a car that looks good. Apparently "saving the earth" means driving a car that makes you sad inside. The Leaf is by far the most acceptable of the cars I have mentioned and I could see people liking it's little hatchback styling.

It was fun to drive. It is super techy inside; push button ignition, gps in the dash and some other junk. It drove smoothly and had a little pick up but I was not able to really test that because they did not allow a freeway run. I was on a prescribed set of streets and really did not get a complete feel for the ride.

They have an eco-drive mode that gets you 10% more range per charge but the minute I had it in that mode I was seriously irritated. I would only cruise in that on longer trips or if I had a low charge. The eco-drive does engage if you get too low as do other energy saving features (radio volume lowered, heat/ac turned down or off). It is automatic and happens so that you will become aware that your juice is low and you are about to be stuck on the side of the road. This is a great thing to add to a car with limited range. It is like the beep your phone gives when it is at 10%.

The ride was distubingly quiet... all you get is a little road noise. It was unnerving and if I was an owner I would plug my iPod in and play it very loud. That way I could steer my focus away from the lack of engine noise. I am sure I would adapt but it was glaringly apparent after driving a loud pickup and a rattling sedan.

The other thing I liked was my chaperone on the drive. She was a gorgeous black lady named Tammy. I was in love with the car partly because I had a crush on her. She gave me interseting tidbits along with a pleasant conversation.

I am excited by the thought of an electric car and I would like for it to be successful and for them to become steadily more normal.

So.... electric cars.... The things I don't like:

I did not like that I walked away not knowing the price of the car. That bothered me a little bit but the website has it posted. One version is 26,000 and the other is 27,000. They estimate the battery pack will last 10 years and also did not provide the price for replacing that. They also couldn't talk about how you will pay for charging up as that system is still being installed. They also have not figured out how payment will be made and how to keep it cheap and (I would imagine) profitable for the charge station. There are a lot of things left unknown.

They did talk about the range of the car. It is estimated to be 100 miles on a full charge. Which translates to a car that is for local use only. The range is not an issue for my weekday commute but it would be for my weekend activities and any trips I would want to take (including a drive on Route 66 I would like to make this summer). The range makes the Leaf a second car and can not be used as the sole car. I do not need 2 cars nor can I afford 2 cars. I seem to not be a primary target for this car.

Another issue is the charge time. You can plug this car into a regular outlet but it will take 20 hours to charge. This means you need to install a charging station using a 220v charge. This was estimated to cost 2,000 to get installed. So forget about it if you live in an apartment or a rental. They say this charger will get it done in 7 to 8 hours. There is an option of a quick charger you can put on the car which if used at a quick charge station will fill it to 80% in 30 minutes. This begs the question, why would the quick charge be an option on this car? Is there a drawback to quick charging?

The other thing I wonder is how green is this "green" car? You do realize where most electicity comes from, right? It comes from fuel burning turbines for the most part. This means coal and oil are burned to generate electricity (electricity is a secondary energy source eaning it needs a primary energy source to be created), with the exception of California who uses natural gas exclusively (which is still non-renewable). 92% of the energy used in the nation is non-renewable which means a good chunk of the electricity would be coming from the evil oil and coal companies. So does this mean the car is really earth friendly? How much more earth friendly is it?

The worst thing I have to say about the car is about the lame polar bear ad. This bear walks for days to find a Leaf driver and give him a hug. Yet no one is scared by a rampant polar bear. Even worse, the polar bear doesn't rip the owners head off and steal the car as would have happened in my version of the commercial.

My interest in alternatively fueled cars is still very high. I am looking at the Nissan Leaf as a first step of many. In order to really turn things around we need a first step. So if you are someone who can afford 2 cars and a charging station please buy one of these. Your purchase could help drive the research on making these things better. We need more research and development to happen to really change the world. I want to stop giving the gas man half my check.

Don't forget to vote for me to win the car. Despite all I have said I would love to win! I like the idea of being an electric car pioneer.
https://drivenissanleaf.com/Win/Vote.aspx?b=7J5HQ52X6P8E
Help me WIN a 100% electric Nissan LEAF™! View and vote for my video now!

The Walking Dead comes to life

2010-11-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

I just watched the pilot episode of The Walking Dead tonight. You may already know that I am a huge fan of zombies and have read books, comic books, watched movies (good and some extremely bad) and played zombie based video games. Of course if you did not know then you do now.

This show premiered last night on AMC and for a select few of you this may be old news. For the 99% of the rest of you, this show is awesome. It is based on a comic book of the same name. that I have been reading for a few years now....

The story is set up a while after the zombie outbreak occurs. We find ourselves waking up along side a man in a coma of a sheriff injured in the line of duty. This injury happened before the zombie crisis occurs so he is set adrift in a world unlike the one he remembers. He has been abandoned by his friends and his wife and son. Left for dead in an unstaffed body strewn hospital. This story is not concerned with the outbreak.... the outbreak is old news. The great thing about this is that by starting with a man who wakes up to this horror you can be let in on how this world works. This is a story about how humans are coping with this new threat and from the looks of things they are not coping very well. If the show stays true to the comic books this will be riveting. The story put down in the graphic novels is edge of your seat engaging.

So far the show is keeping true to the story already laid out. It was a great beginning, story wise and the cinematography (I am a sucker for a wide view world is a wasteland shot)and educates those not familiar with zombie survival on the rules of surviving a zombie filled world. If you have AMC and are not too squeamish.... give the show a shot. It is developing some great characters and will be a largely human based drama with the added benefit of attacking zombies. The comic book is character driven and the story lines are very interesting, engaging and thought provoking. The first episode set it up very well and left us waiting for next Sunday.

A Blog on Words

2010-10-17T20:48:00.000-07:00

I have recently decided to suggest some made up words for regular use. They may seem odd at first but I think they will grow on you. It's not like all the words we use everyday are normal. Someone came up with them too!

Astonirate – When something rates very high in the astonishing category. “3-D movies have the power to astonirate, sometimes, like in Legend of the Guardians, you are astonirated at how pointless the movie was. Other times you are astonirated at how cool it was. Then there are the times where a astonirative movie is seen without 3-D and it is merely a colorful mess (Avatar).”

Astonirative - an adjective that means something that is astonishing.

Moo-rific – Vegan friendly, no cows were harmed or used in the making of something. In rare cases this term can be used to signify a triumphant cow, ie., Chicfila’s cow friendly campaign (the cows are winning). “This tofurkey is moo-rific!”

Sucktacular – When something is at the level of sucking that makes your brain hurt. “Legend of the Guardians was sucktacular!”

Sucktastic – See definition of sucktacular. “Legend of the Guardians was sucktastic.”

Vaughnified –When a movie stars Vince Vaughn he tends to talk a lot and very fast. He is kind of like the male version of the Gilmore girls but with the added benefit of actually being funny. “The movie Wedding Crashers was successfully Vaughnified.”

A Rambling Review of Legend of the Guardians

2010-10-11T19:44:00.001-07:00

I don't know what this movie was going for. There are some owls and they like fight and stuff. I am not sure why they were fighting. I just know who ever was responsible for this monstrosity was more interested in 3-D and computer generated crap then having a story. Either way I will tell you what I know about the "story."

Some lame owl kid is obsessed with some legendary hero. His older brother is so not in to the legend crap (neither was I). With a barely explained legend the movie gets started. The 2 brothers fall out of the tree and get wisked away by bad owls. The bad owls convince the bad brother to hang but the good owl runs away with another owl. Then they get 2 other owls and a snake (which was random) to go with them to find some legendary guardian owls. The good owls of course find it and then the guardian owls go back to fight the bad owls. Of course the guardian owls have a traitor in their midst and it is up to the lame good brother to go with his merry band of rejects to save the day. The lame owl still thinks his brother is there against his will and almost dies because of it. Yet he saves the day after dropping his brother in a random forest fire. Everyone thinks he is the bee's knees including his parents which proves parents secretly have a child they could care less about their other child slaughtering.

The 3-D and computer rendering were awesome but there was no story at all. I have no idea why they were fighting nor why the "good guys" were so blood thirsty. either way skip this movie it is a total suck bucket of lameness.

Psych!

2010-06-18T00:28:00.001-07:00

I love this show. I used to watch this show when I had cable. I missed it for a while but soon forgot about it. I mean what was I going to do? Pay to watch TV? You must be crazy!
Then one day, while searching for something to watch on Hulu, I saw it. I have been watching season 4 ever since.

If you haven't seen it take some time and check it out.

Psych!

2010-06-18T00:27:00.001-07:00

A busy week

2010-06-17T16:59:00.005-07:00

I finally lined up my job for next year. Yes that is good news. It is a 6th grade class and it is taking me back to AZ. Which means I am packing for the trip down. That means I have been in the storage unit a lot. Moving is not much fun especially when it is cross country.

Oh well, at least I have a job to move for. It sure beats moving without one. Of course it means my casual trek across the country with a stop in Zion is not to be. I guess Zion will have to wait.

A busy week

2010-06-17T16:59:00.003-07:00

A busy week

2010-06-17T16:59:00.001-07:00

A new new phone

2010-05-30T12:20:00.001-07:00

I am writing from my second new phone of the month. I turned my last phone, the Samsung Moment, in to Sprint for a full refund. Then I bought this Motorola Cliq from Tmobile. My dad always said that Motorola phones get better service out here and he is right. I do get pretty good service with this phone.

In other news, I attempted to watch Transylmania last night. It was terrible and we had it off in the first two minutes of the show. It made Scary Movie look good. After that I put in Nobel Son. It was dark, bloody and not very good. I recommend skipping both.

Glee, you have disappointed me

2010-05-26T23:36:00.001-07:00

So I am watching Glee... yes, I watch Glee. And normally I am not ashamed of that but lately.... Maybe it is the Lady Gaga aspect of this show or the Kiss counterpoint. It could also be the homophobia angle. Either way this episode has not been enjoyable. Usually I am laughing and enjoying it despite the many songs of torture. Most songs are not my cup of tea but I usually persevere.

It could be that this episode is overly dramatic. It might be that it is attempting to be serious for once. The show is tackling a lot of issues. Rachel finds her mom, Finn freaks out about moving in with Kurt, two jocks, who are hardly (if ever) in the show, are being homophobic, and the goth girl is searching for a new identity.

Of course it is none of that. It is actually the absence of Jane Lynch's character, cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester. She is the reason this show is good. Glee! Listen up! Sue Sylvester must be in every show and if she is not you must personally call me so I can skip it.

That being said there was a funny in the last 3 minutes. Apparently the principal believes vampires are real. So I laughed once. Bring Sue back!

At the hair salon.

2010-05-24T18:33:00.001-07:00

I am sitting at the Perfect Look Salon in Roseburg. I have needed a hair cut for a few weeks and I finally made it in today. Of course I am waiting. I think life is just a series of waiting for things. Like I am waiting to become employed. Before that I was waiting to be licensed. Waiting is lame.

I have a mound of applications to fill out. I love filling out applications almost as much as going to the dentist. Just hire me... :)

job fairs.....

2010-05-18T12:16:00.001-07:00

Do you ever think that job fairs exist to make you depressed? This job fair was tiny and had a huge throng of people in line to "register" Lame!

Phoenix.... so far.

2010-05-17T12:52:00.001-07:00

I am enjoying my visit to Phoenix. The main reason I came down was for an educator job fair on Saturday. Originally I had been debating when to fly out and finally opted to stay through the following week. Staying the extra time seemed fortuitous when I was granted an interview. Since I am here looking for work it seemed like a good idea to also go to another job fair with my sister. Who knows what might come about.

The new phone......

2010-05-12T13:54:00.001-07:00

I recently got a new phone from Sprint. It is the Samsung Moment with Google. I love this phone! It does a lot of stuff including letting me post to my blog. I can play music through Pandora and did so on the way back from Portland last weekend. The phones slide out qwerty keyboard is awesome and makes texting and web surfing easy.

I am sure you all knew there is a 'but' coming. The issue is the service. It is decent in the town of Roseburg, pretty good along the I5 corridor, and wonderful in Portland. But it sucks a big one at my dadks house. The reason I got the phone was the crappy service from T-Mobile at my dad's place. Which means I currently have crappy service from two national providers. The good news is I can return the phone within 30 days and receive a full refund. The bad news is I have to get rid of this phone.....

OUTLAW!

2010-05-11T01:49:00.001-07:00

I don't know how many of you have seen the commercial for the new Robin Hood movie but it has caught my eye. I guess telling a totally different story from all known stories is originality and not just theft of a well known and beloved hero. I mean... why not? I have a new cartoon coming out called Spongebob and it will tell the story of how he became a sponge. Then I have a new movie coming out called Huck. That is a story about Huckleberry Finn about 30 years after the original story. Mainly he sits around in his underwear and watches football but it gets interesting when the electric company turns off his lights.

Of course this is not the main reason I am writing. I have become irritated by the way the evil king dude says outlaw in the commercial. Why must this guy yell the word outlaw? Does yelling make it mean more? I think Hollywood has decided that yelling makes it have more meaning. I do not think that Hollywood allows someone to calmly say "I declare him an OUTLAW!" Apparently Hollywood won't even let me write it without yelling it.

Mobile blogging.

2010-05-08T21:50:00.001-07:00

I am blogging with my new phone! This phone totally rocks! I had a busy Friday that involved interviewing for a job in Portland. I spent the night there and enjoyed eating at my favorite Vietnamese place, Pho Huy. It was as good as I remember and well worth the drive from my hotel. If you are near the Clackamas mall you should go. I had a beer at Ram Brewing after that. It was a good trip but a little too spendy to do solo.

The Tacoma Trip

2010-04-17T16:21:00.000-07:00

I am back from the teacher job fair in Tacoma. That was a long drive but I felt like I talked to everybody I could while there. Most were explaining how they were still not sure who or what they were hiring for but that I should fill out an online app anyway. This sounded so super encouraging that I had to take a break from it to regroup. When I was all regrouped I went back in and finished up talking to the last half of the people.

When I was done it was 3 and I had plenty of time to hit the museum of glass. That boosted my spirits quite a bit. The main exhibit hall was filled with Preston Singletary's work. Which was amazing. The next gallery was Kids Design Glass, this was hysterical. The glass makers at the museum tauhgt some students about glass making and then had them design their own glass figure on paper Then the hot glass shop made these designs based on the drawings and description provided by the kids. What was awesome was the plaque usually had some quote from the kid that made me giggle. The kids designed things like Bacon Boy (a piece of smiling bacon with a cape), Coyote in Socks, and Chupacabra Way (which looks like a little dragon with a fire ball on it's tail). The best part of the museum is the Hot Shop. They were creating some rondells (flat platter looking things) for an artist couple's upcoming gallery. It was a fascinating process and I spent most of my time in there. In fact the website says it has live streaming of the Hot Shop. To see a little more, head over to http://museumofglass.org/

As I was leaving the museum I headed up their glass walk which has a wall and a ceiling of glass made by Chihuly and a few other things by some other artists. The Chihuly Wall was filled with things that looked like vases (or bongs) and some of them were pretty awesome. A bunch of small kids kept screaming "Oh that is so cool!" at everything and that made me laugh. Of course you could see the outside stuff for free and it made me wonder about the admission price. It seemed a little too small for 12 dollars. I think that the Hot Shop made up for it some. It is kind of neat to see a working glass shop. It is used by a bunch of artists at different times and it might be why it costs 12 dollars to get in. I am sure glass shops are expensive to maintain. I do think it was worth going in to see the artwork and some new art being created.

I decided to wander around Tacoma and did so via car because I had to move it anyway. I had not really done any homework about Tacoma as I was not sure how much time I would have there so I kind of wandered around until I stumbled on an Irish pub to have dinner at. The place was pretty nice but the beers seemed a little steep. The happy hour had nice sized potions of food at a great price though so it balanced the beer price out. After that I headed back to the hotel.

I liked the little piece of Tacoma I saw and wouldn't mind moving there. It is really close to Seattle and it seems there are hundreds of suburbs surrounding and linking the two places. I plan to hit up several of the districts in that area. The trip was not a total bust, it helped me know a little more about the state and where I might want to apply for work.

Coffee, Motivation and Job fairs

2010-04-11T18:02:00.000-07:00

I pass a lot of my Roseburg life in coffee shops. I think it is kind of strange how comfortable coffee shops are for me to frequent. I can come in, grab a coffee, and connect to their internet. Some internet services are easier to use then others but they all offer it. I tend to be more productive in a coffee shop then I am at home. Which is why I end up here so often. Sure, I can be distracted anywhere, but for whatever reason getting out of the house causes me to get stuff done. So I am sitting in this coffee shop getting some job hunting work done.

Motivation is a big issue with me these days. I want to be working but the entire fiasco over the teaching certificate has sapped my drive. I have to do everything I can to keep motivated in this job hunt. So a cup of coffee and a change of locale to get some crap done seems worth the price of admission.

I have ideas and plans floating around in my noggin. Of course all of them are contingent on this current job hunt. I have one back up plan if the job hunt ends up less then successful. Of course I am hoping that I am successful. I am headed to Tacoma this week for a job fair. I will keep you appraised of the hunt as it develops.

Roseburg Gets Indian Food

2010-04-04T00:41:00.001-07:00

Indian food is awesome. It is flavorful and exciting. It is one of those things where you can feed me a bunch of vegetables and no meat and I won't even care. So imagine my excitement when a new Indian restaurant came to Roseburg....

The restaurant is called Flavors of India. They set up shop in an old strip mall where a former employer of mine, Dell, used to reside. It is a small place with a small amount of seating which indicates they are probably expecting mostly take out orders.

I like their food for the most part. I have visited a total of 4 times and I will discuss my impressions. The first visit I had chicken tikka with rice. I was with my dad but unfortunately I have forgotten what he ate. The chicken tikka was served over sauteed onions. The rice was a beautiful yellow color because of the saffron in it. The dish was mild in flavor but overall pleasant. It was good enough that I could easily see myself going back.

The second trip I decided to try chicken tikka masala (which also came with the saffron rice). I ordered it mild because my dad had ordered his dish medium spicy that first trip and he had whined a lot. What I learned was not to do mild. I am a little confused by this though. I have never had anyone ask me my preferred spice level in an Indian restaurant. I have always had the impression that most dishes were centered around all the flavors and not the spice level. This is not the case at this restaurant as I found my mild dish incredibly bland. I also ordered masala tea which was not as good as I had expected from prior experience with the tea. Overall this was a sub par experience and I think it was because I did not go with a medium spice level.

The third time I decided to get takeout. I reverted to my chicken tikka order. This time they asked spice level on this dish which had not been asked the first time. Remembering my mild chicken tikka masala experience was enough to convince me to say medium. The take out order did not come with rice. The medium spice was definitely spicy. In fact it was more hot spicy then I remember ever having chicken tikka. I may be off base but it seemed weird to not have the tikka flavor be more pronounced. Either way this was by far the best experience I had had.

The fourth trip was during lunch time and I had medium chicken tikka on my mind. However, the lunch menu had changed and they had gotten rid of the lunch specials in favor of a buffet. I decided to do the buffet because I have always liked an Indian lunch buffet. The buffet had chicken tandoori, chicken curry, a dal dish, and a few others I have forgotten. The food was all the right temperature and well cooked but the seasoning was non-existent. I was disappointed in the blandness of the food.

My advice for a potential customer of this restaurant. Do eat there because it is tasty but make sure you get it a little spicy and skip the bland lunch buffet.

My advice for the owners.... punch it up! I am not sure why anything would be bland on your menu. I am hoping you are worried that being the first might make you feel the need to be cautious spice wise. I encourage you to bring out more flavor in the mild. There is more then hot spicy that makes Indian food a favorite. It is rich and fantastic but yours seems watered down. It seems bland enough to not offend the locals. I will be back because I do really like the chicken tikka but I am surprised that I could apply the word bland to this particular cuisine.

A shiny new promise....

2010-04-04T00:25:00.000-07:00

It seems I have done a proper job of killing my blog. If you have stumbled upon this entry I am amazed. You are either completley lost or a die hard looking for a scrap. Occasionally I get on this blog and vow that I will wite more regularly or add new features. I think last time I promised this I had an idea of podcasts and a new marketplace. Obviously instead I gave months of stagnation and sad, whiny thin commentary on the goings on in and around my life. I would love to make another proclamation here and now. Something in which I state new goals and directions. Unfortunatley I've got nothing.

I have been coming to this blog weekly and staring at a blank spot to type my latest ramblings. Nothing has come. I feel totally empty of things worthy of sharing. Even worse I have no opinions to share... no agendas to set straight.

This might sound like I am punching my ticket. Turning in my chips, getting out while the gettings good, or turning lemons into softballs....

However... I have decided to give it another go. I have decided to make another promise I probably won't live up to. I promise that I will get back to writing on at least a weekly basis. So if you made it throught this stupid entry come back for some new haps a little later this week.

Free Coffee!

2010-04-02T20:19:00.000-07:00

Here is the link to get a free sample of Dunkin Donuts coffee. Just thought I would let you know about it and make it easy for you to get a hold of.

A few Quick Reviews

2010-03-08T07:47:00.001-08:00

I am up and awake....

I am heading to Phoenix tonight and I have an entire day to kill. So I thought I should write a little note on here.

I recently watched The Crazies at the theater and I was entertained. It was not terrifically original but it was predictably fun. The government is the boogie man in this flick, which tracks well considering the original film (yes this is a remake) was created by George Romero. I have not seen the original but I plan to. The government has unwittingly created a biological weapon that can't be stopped. Some how, which they do reveal, a small town gets infected. People sometimes ask me why I don't like small towns and this is one of the reasons, because a lot of movies like this take place in small towns. Small towns are evil or at the very least unlucky. Anyway we follow David Dutton, the town sheriff, as he works out what is going on. Of course by then it is too late. The government swoops in and starts weeding sick people out and cattle carting the rest away. Sheriff Dutton's wife does not make the cut. Of course she is pregnant and has an elevated temperature from a cold that she had had for about a month. So she is wrongly sorted and Sheriff Dutton goes to save her. This is midway through the story and the rest of the story is their efforts to survive (duck the trigger happy military and the equally trigger happy infected people) and get back to the government evacuation area. I would recommend this flick to people who like this type of cinema. Try not to see it at the 12 dollar ticket price, shoot for the matinee (I saw it for 5).

I also saw Shutter Island in theaters. I would have to say I liked this movie but I can't fully endorse it. Even though I liked it, I felt like it needed a little more there. It feels like it was lacking something but I felt like the actors were all doing their best in it. It wasn't the actors and the plot seemed twisty enough but there is some piece missing. I have no idea what the missing piece is but the more I think on it the more I realize that I wanted more from the movie. In this movie, Leonardo is a US Marshall coming to Shutter Island to find an escaped patient. Apparently Shutter Island is a home for the dangerously insane people and that is why the missing person is such a big deal. Of course, upon arriving a storm settles in and they are trapped there until it subsides. Everybody seems to be hiding something and the further in we get the less benign every encounter seems. It was a highly entertaining movie and it works on a lot of levels. If I could just shake the vague feeling of disappointment I would definitely tell you to see it.

ON DVD:

Observe and Report: I only made it 15 minutes in before I just gave up. Skip it.
Land of the Lost: Wow....... this movie doesn't even come up to the level of suck. Skip it.

Untitled

2010-02-06T03:57:00.000-08:00

I can't sleep...

It has been an ongoing problem this last month but tonight has been ridiculous. I don't even feel tired. If you are keeping track it is 4 AM here in Oregon and I have not went to sleep yet.

I know it sounds like I am whining here. That of course is because I am whining. I want to be back on a regular sleep schedule. More importantly, I want to get back to getting things done. You know... during the day when places are actually open. There is absolutely nothing going on out in the country at 4 AM.

I moved down to Roseburg because of moeny issues and the whole thing has been a bit harder to handle then I expected. Not because of anybody; just my own head. I feel like I have stepped backwards and my step backward seems to have taken some wind out of my sails. To tell you the truth the wind has not been there since my last class in December. Thanks again University of Phoenix.

The worst part of this is that I took this step willingly. I knew I did not have the money to live in Portland any more. I did my student teaching in Roseburg which made it seem perfect to extract myself from Portland and start here with my teaching certificate. Subbing while taking on the larger world for future employment. It just hasn't played out that way.

Portland was my city of hard luck. I mean, that it was not an economically friendly city to me. Despite that glaring fact I miss Portland. I miss all the great restaurants, having a bacon topped donut at 2 AM, being near bookstores, the fantastic beer, pizza by the slice, the public transit system, and the friends I still have up there. I also really miss my apartment and my blue chair that was steadily falling apart.

So I am stuck. Stuck feeling like I failed, even though I know that I haven't.

Aren't new years supposed to be full of hope? Come on 2010..... bring on the positives. Wow me!

Really Hearing the Music

2010-01-21T21:41:00.000-08:00

I am not sure how you feel about music.....

To be truthful, I am not entirely sure how I feel about music. I used to live, breathe and eat music. It easily matched and flowed with my moods. Music told me a lot about things around me and I couldn't go anywhere without a carefully planned soundtrack. I heard Snoop Dogg, Cypress Hill, Dr. Dre and Digital Underground and could get my head wrapped around a school day. I listened to the Eagles religiously, especially in my friend Kevin's Car. Tom Petty's Wildflowers album still floods me with memories of a tumultuous and very exciting year. The Doors and Jimi Hendrix remind me of my bedroom in my first house and the huge sound system I had set up; I remember kissing a girl as the music drowned out the party upstairs. Music was essential to get through my day and the fact that I couldn't listen to them at school or work kind of offended me. My cohort in crime and I have a lot of memories related to concerts, blaring car music and my home sound system. When we get started talking about music you get a lot of random life stories tangled amidst the songs, albums and musicians we love.

And yet....

I find that music is not the same for me anymore. I like an ever widening variety of music but it does not connect as well as it used to. I don't come home and have to put on an album. I don't feel the need to dance and sing along. I hardly ever catch myself playing the air guitar....

People always talk about phases in life. I remember being told that a lot of my extreme interest in music would fade as I got older. I remember laughing at all the old people who listened to talk radio. Now I find myself having one play list of podcasts on my iPod (some from talk radio stations I used to fake snore to). Actually I have 2 small shuffle iPods, one is usually talk and the other music. Long gone are the hours and hours of simply listening to music and writing.

Giving up music was not a conscious decision. Some of my apathy came from having so many albums to choose from. I do not hear an entire album from start to finish like I used to. I stopped listening to 20 minute long songs from the 60's because they were so darn long.

The other side of having such a large collection is that I seem to always be looking for something new that will fit my mood. Of course part of it might be because my emotions are not as intense and wild as they were when I was a teenager or in my early 20's. I still think rock from the late 60's and early 70's fits well into those crazy youthful years but rocking out to In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida seems a little silly these days.

I am not saying I have given up on music all together. I still listen to music everyday; just not usually as my sole activity and not nearly as carefully selected. I no longer spend hours crafting a play list or creating a new mix tape (or mix cd as I have made both). I just pick a few artists, load them up and listen to whatever plays.

My interest in music is still high; I am more than willing to give a listen to anything anyone might recommend to me. Whether they are aged 98 or just turned 2 (deinitely not any younger or older then that). I am an open book and seem to have been on a search for new music and new artists to try out. In the last couple years a few new (to me) favorites have included Ben Harper, A Fine Frenzy, Raconteurs, Holly Brook, Flight of the Conchords (always makes me chuckle), Common, and many others. I still listen to and purchase music but I do not connect as much as I used to.

Of course that was until I watched It Might Get Loud.

It Might Get Loud changed everything for me....

It Might Get Loud is a documentary about 3 musicians getting together telling their stories and playing some music. The musicians included Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin fame, The Edge of U2 fame and Jack White from the White Stripes (and the Raconteurs). I am a fan of all 3 men and their various music endeavors. They make great music that I consider very essential to my collection. In fact, as I type away I am listening to War by U2 and plan to switch over to one of the other bands afterward.

This documentary is fabulous and is a must see for music fans of any stripe. It helped remind me of the passion behind the songs and to pay attention to the feeling of the music and the words; to vibe with the music and to stop treating it like a background highlight. My connection to music had become tenuous because I forgot to really listen to the music and allow it to transport me.

I plan to pay more attention when I listen to music from here on out. I will make sure to listen to more whole albums again; especially when it is a new artist or a new album by an old favorite artist. Another step I will take is to look more into these bands histories. I used to know a lot about the musicians I called my favorites and it enriched the auditory experience for me. Finally I plan to get more live music DVD's, see more concerts and spend more time listening.

Ps.... I also plan to get my own copy of It Might Get Loud.

Some thoughts for the New Year......

2010-01-03T19:28:00.000-08:00

I don't know if you, the 3 people who still occasionally glance at this site, have noticed but I have not written a lot lately. It isn't like I wasn't trying. I have sat down several times with the intent to write and have felt my mind literally go blank. My mind has been a dry husk and I have to tell you my lack of writing has had me pretty worried. I have felt like a bottle with a stopper that was stuck. A lot has been on my mind and a lot has been needed to be said but when I sat down to write no words were there to say them with. Read this statement clearly because some writers equate bad writing to nothing but I literally mean nothing came out; not bad, good or mediocre simply nothing. I was literally a blank slate, I couldn't even force anything. Sure I have managed to post like 6 times in the last few months but most of them are dismissible and only one was creative. I thought when school ended I would have the time to get the juices flowing again. I was expecting a plethora of new ideas and blog entries to clog the system but it didn't happen. I think I would describe my mind as being fogged. I knew there is a lot going on but I wasn't really sure where and when; and if I sat down to write my mind froze up. Today was different though. Today I felt the first break in the creative dam. The story I am about to rely is not a fictional story but luckily is is also not a boring update. It is just a replay of my thoughts or at least the best rendition I can offer.

I slept in and was very casual about greeting the day. I actually took a bath and relaxed a bit in the tub. I had no real plans for the day and didn't even have a clue of how to spend it. I knew that I did not have a lot of money and everything that sounded fun would require some money. So I hopped online for a while. Then I bustled around my house packing clothes and taking apart the computer desk for my impending move. It was about then that I had to get out of the house. I decided to go to the book store at the mall and read some books in their cafe. I picked up a book and read half of it when I felt a flash of intense hunger. In all my lolly gagging at home I had failed to eat. I headed upstairs to the food court and decided to try the new fish and chips place. I eyed it several times on previous mall excursions but I decided that today was the day. I ordered my food and was pleased to be handed a lobster shaped beeper that would alert me when the food was ready. I knew that this beeper meant that I would at least be assured of hot food. I headed to the nearby arcade to play a little Gauntlet Legends. I was trying to get the token machine to take my dollar but it kept refusing and I was a little distracted by the crazy Russian guys punching the tar out of some weird punching bag game. Anyway, on the 4th try with my seemingly perfect looking dollar, I noticed the machine these muscle headed dudes were busy abusing was for sale. Which made me immediately wonder if Gauntlet Legends was still around, as I am convinced I am one of the very few who play the thing. It occurred to me that checking would be prudent before getting my tokens at about the same time the machine decided it would take my money. The clink of the tokens ended the internal struggle and I went further in the arcade to discover Gauntlet's fate. I found it sitting there unplugged with a for sale sticker on it and I felt a little defeated. I looked at the price and remembered my Silver Spoons inspired dreams of owning a few arcade games. For a brief moment I envisioned bargaining with the guy who was selling it and could see myself arranging a spot for it. In my imaginings I had a much bigger house and money to burn. I spent the tokens on games of chance that gave prize tickets I did not really want and left to await my food. My mind was on autopilot and I was thinking about a lot of things about this new year and the last couple of years. I was feeling exhausted and a little defeated. As much as I hate to admit it the debacle that happened two weeks ago at the university really had shaken me to my core. It undermined my confidence and kind of made me wonder what I really had to offer. I have not bounced back like I hoped I would even after things went my way. I would honestly say that I laid down and had stopped fighting. I have been putting off some steps I need to take to get licensed and that makes no sense because I had a blast being a teacher this last year. I enjoyed every minute I was up in front of the students and working with them as their teacher. I liked answering questions and trying to help them understand a concept. I admit that I liked one of my experiences better than the other but it had nothing to do with the students. The more I think about it the more I realize how true that is. I hated the stupid work sample and the constant nagging the university kept giving me about that horrible, rancid, time wasting and irrelevant piece of crap. It's a hoop, people kept telling me... just jump through it people kept saying. I did jump through the hoop but I shouldn't have to. I never learned to play the pointless game very well. I have always believed there should be a reason to do something. For a while there I believed there should be a likable reason to do things and you can see how that affected my job record. I kept hopping around so much that my employment history is a joke. Of course when I finally decided to dig my feet into the ground and hang in there the company laid us all off. Beautiful.

Getting back to today's tale. It was about the time that my lobster started buzzing and flashing that my mind started to whirr. There was a little smoke and a few annoying sounds like when the bathroom vent fan gets stuck but the important thing was my mind was working again. I sat there mowing down the fish and chips, the surprisingly super tasting fish and chips, when my brain kicked me out of mopey mode. I am not sure what the exact though was but it was somewhere during the linking of the last few months to the last couple years of unpleasantness. I then started thinking about other people I knew and the year they have had. A lot of people have been knocked down and pummeled by the first decade of this new millennium. It sucked big time for a lot of people and yet we are all hanging on, some of us by our toenails. Something about that thought gets me jazzed. I know that sounds weird so maybe I should try again.

I look around and I see a lot of strong people hanging on. They aren't hanging on to their possessions but they are hanging on to the people that matter in their lives. People, that I know, are reevaluating what it means to be successful and happy. That is a good thing. Our priorities were out of wack. The dreams of a beautiful home, the latest gadgets, and the fastest and biggest car were getting in the way of people caring about other people. I felt like I made a few connections today that I had missed before. It really is about the people in your life even those in the periphery. Obviously friends and family are part of this rebirth of humanity but so should the person you buy your coffee from. Why are the people we interact with, on a daily basis sometimes, not more of our circle. Why don't I know the kid at my favorite coffee shops name. The very guy who always makes me smile and feel welcome. What the hell am I doing complaining about the lack of warmth of other people when I am so closed off to humanity. Why do I think people are fake when they ask a servers name? Why don't I talk to the person I am doing business with a little longer? After all they did just ask about my day... why not give them a brief snippet?

Then I thought about a friend I have been hanging out with a lot recently. A friend that seems to know hundreds of people all throughout the downtown Portland area. She knows all the people at her favorite shops and she is always chatting with people she doesn't know at all. People always talk with her and enjoy her company even if at first they have no idea what to do. We were killing time before seeing Sherlock Holmes and we were at Banana Republic where she was talking to a cute girl who works there that she knows from prior visits. This is like the 10th conversation like this I have seen and I ask, as we leave the store, how she knows so many people. She turns to me and tells me (I am going to get this wrong), "I know the people who matter." I was confused for a minute but this gal is a talker and she kept on going. She told me about how the people in these stores matter and that her pet peeve are those who come in and view these human beings as their servants. People that disregard the store employee's humanity and give off such a negative vibe that it brings everyone down. I agreed with her because I always try to be polite and courteous to people I encounter but that wasn't all of the message and the rest of the idea about really seeing the person behind the role was bouncing around my head unresolved for a while.

That conversation was revisited as I watched a young man strike up a conversation with a girl about their choice in authors. I realize that these weren't exactly the same thing but they are similar. Both experiences show people with a willingness to put themselves out there and connect with another person. Of curse the gentleman at the bookstore might have been more interested in the cute girl then he was in the book but he definitely was able to talk about that particular writer in detail. All these things clicked for me and I realized that I need to change some things that I am doing. I can't say I revolutionized the way I handled the rest of my interactions today. I was feeling the urge to write and my only other interaction was to purchase a 5 dollar journal because what I had in my head would not wait until I walked home to be released. I was so consumed by the urge to get my thoughts written down that I didn't really practice what I am currently in the process of preaching. I should explain something about my writing habits: occasionally, I get this insane urge to write and have no writing pad near me and that is why I have like 15 partially used books in my home. Once that urge hits I write and for a while I find a spot to stow a journal on my person to prevent such crazy expenditures of money caused by not being prepared to pursue this insane writer's life I have carved out for myself. I am thinking I will probably by another book later on this year in another such emergency because eventually I won't feel like carrying a hardly ever used journal with me anymore.

After I bought the book I sat there furiously writing everything I could down in it. I wrote about how people will survive the last decade and become stronger because of it and that the only thing we can do is renew our pursuit of our dreams. Whether you are a 32 year old unemployed but nearly graduated teaching hopeful, or a younger person still sorting out the dream and trying to make it match up with the reality of the world around you, or someone who might be on the wrong side of a dream and being forced to start all over. This rough patch will be transversed and something will fall into place even if it takes a little wiggling to make it fit. While that is happening and things are getting sorted out, remember to say hi to that neighbor you have never acknowledged before, engage the grocery clerk in a little dialogue, talk to your server about various thins that gets them to stop and enjoy the little chat. The world continues to get more electronic everyday and our interactions seem to be getting fewer and it is going to take a conscious effort to remember the human part of life. Start remembering that people all around you have their own story and that i isn't bad to pay attention occasionally. Talk to people, smile and laugh with people and keep your head up. Things will get better.

The Haps: December 29th edition

2009-12-29T16:40:00.000-08:00

I hope the holidays treated everybody kindly. It was a rough December for me and I am more then glad to have survived it. I wrote a giant blog post about the issues that caused the bad month to be had but decided against publishing it. Everything is going to work out and it seemed smarter to just let it all lie. I have too many things that I want to happen to start stirring the pot.

I can say I walked away a little smarter and a lot bruised from the experience.

The good things. I am headed to Phoenix to visit family and friends in January. It will be a nice and necessary break. If you are a Phoenician drop me an email and we will try to get together. crazedlunatik@gmail.com

Christmas was spent in Roseburg with my dad, stepmom, step-sis and her two sons. We had a good time playing with their toys ever since. I did take a trip up to Portland to hang out with a few friends visiting from LA. We had a wonderful dining experience and a nice evening. I am back in Roseburg and ti seems that I missed the snow in Portland by hours. Hopefully it clears up or at least is drivable (we probably won't get that much) by the time I head up on Thursday (the 31st).

For those of you awaiting Christmas cards... sorry, I am a bit behind. I think they will be Happy New Year cards..... maybe... if I get them done in time to mail them. For the 4 people that got them... Cheers!

I plan to start working on my next chapter of the story this week....

My Dream Life - Part 8

2009-12-14T20:43:00.000-08:00

Chapter 7

“Our world is falling apart.”

I looked at him askance; like I would to anyone who would make this statement. I hated overdramatic statements and was about to make good with my reply when his face flickered. I blinked but that did not help; his face kept periodically flickering. It was not like the bad reception of a television after the digital upgrade mandate. It was more like he would turn, just for a second, into a different person. I peeled my eyes away from him and looked around.

“I wasn’t kidding. This place is dying. Without you and her, this place won’t survive. Where have you been?”

His face flickered to a more familiar one for a second and I felt like I knew who this was, even if I could not remember his name. I was back in the dream world. I did not know what to say to him. I was not sure how much I should really care about keeping a dream world alive. The letter that he had left me flashes through my head but that was a dream letter in a dream world; it wasn’t real.

“I know what you are thinking and you are wrong.” He says as his face comes back into a single steady image. The flickering features have smoothed out and it is almost as if his determination has caused his features to align. I stare at him and the new face he wears. I know this person but I just can’t place how.

“Where do I know you from? I mean besides these dream encounters.”

“I…..” He stops talking as a look of horror flashes across his face. Then he starts flickering again and even his voice starts changing and I can’t understand anything he is saying. It sounds like all the words are said at the same time and all in different keys. Then a bright flash blinds me temporarily and when I can see again I am no longer looking at him just the spot he used to be in.

“You asked the wrong question.” I turn around to see where the voice is coming form; and I see the crocodile friend from my other dreams. We can’t interact that directly in the dream world. You need to be more creative when you ask questions here.”

“Are you saying that there is something important to know?”

“You ask stupid questions.” The croc turns away from me and begins walking away. He waves for me to follow him and I do. I have no reason not to; I am just standing here with a talking crocodile and nothing else. If I did not follow him I would be standing alone and the very thought of that scares me for some reason.

“How am I supposed to ask good questions when I am not even sure what this dream is about?” The crocodile laughs at me and keeps walking; without even pausing to laugh in my face. I feel a little rankled by him. If this wasn’t a dream I might want to attack him. Of course, if this wasn’t a dream he would be a regular crocodile and my desire to fight would definitely be absent. Suddenly we come to a stop. I look around and it looks kind of like my living room in my apartment. Everything looks familiar but the carpet is swaying like tall grass in a summer breeze and the place is filled with noise that sounds like a Disney movie about Africa.

“You think that because you are asleep that this stuff does not matter. You, of course, are mistaken.” The croc kept talking but my mind wandered as images fluttered by; when I was able to refocus the crocodile was quite a distance from me. I started running to catch up but I was going nowhere. I felt like I was on a treadmill or that if I looked behind me I would see a pile up of road that I had pulled behind me. Either way he kept walking and did not look back but he did yell. “Get over reality vs. dream and realize that the two are not that far apart. It is almost time for you to wake up but I have a few instructions for you. First, think about how this world feels compared to the other, with the exception of a talking crocodile does this ‘dream’ seem real? Second, decide whether you want to see the people that made your dream world so vivid again. Are they important to you? If they are real would you want to give up on them? My time with you is over. We will do this again tomorrow and make sure you dream of yourself as a faster walker.”
Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
___

I woke up and I was still in my sister’s guest room. I could hear my sister talking to my niece about staying quiet and waiting for me to get up. My niece responded by promising to just check to see if I was awake and swearing not to wake me if I wasn’t. Then my sister told her that under no circumstances was she to check on me. My niece took that as a reason to park outside my door and to very loudly play with her ponies. I could not help but smile as I laid there debating getting up. I was conflicted. I knew I needed to think about my dream but my niece sounded like more fun. Then I thought about what it would mean if the dream world was real. Would I lose my niece? With that horrifying thought in my head I got up and headed out to get in some good quality pony play time.

It's Christmas card time!

2009-11-28T16:04:00.001-08:00

Hey all! I hope you had a grand Thanksgiving. I hope the end of the year treats you well. Don't stress this holiday season, remember that it really is about the time you spend with people more the the gifts you give. Set a strict budget and stick to it! That is my advice for surviving the holidays.

Which brings us up to the point of this blog. It is time for me to write some Christmas cards and send them out. I am putting this out there because I do not have every address I will need. If you usually get a card or would like a card please drop me a line at: crazedlunatik@gmail.com

In the message please include your name and address. Then I will know who will need to get a card this year. If you think I have your address you can risk not getting a card or you can just give me your address again.

More then likely you will get a fictional card full of lies about what I did this year. You might also get a random drawing..... who knows.

New Blizzard flavor!

2009-11-16T21:51:00.000-08:00

I was driving back from going to the evil post office, where I have spent entirely too much money this last month. While driving away from the evil USPS, as fast as 35 mph allowed, I looked to the right, out of my passenger window, and that was when I saw it. Sitting right there in all of it's tempting glory:

It was a little bloody but I would dare say this new flavor was brilliant!!!

(I know you like my sentence sentence with all those commas)

Ps. These really are the words on the sign at the Roseburg Dairy Queen. No doctoring at all.

About a Rabbit

2009-10-20T17:15:00.000-07:00

I woke up the other day and tripped over the rabbit on my way to go use the bathroom. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not completely functional in the morning. They also know that anyone silly enough to get in my way, might be tripped over. So most people give me a wide berth. Additionally, my conversational skills are devoid of substance and I frown a lot for the first few hours of consciousness. Basically, I am not a morning person. Anyway, I began that morning by being tripped by the rabbit. I swear I heard the damn thing snicker. I kind of mumbled an apology that also included a warning to move next time. When I got out of the shower, my eyes had opened but my brain was on autopilot. I thought food, coffee, and go to work. So I enter the kitchen and the rabbit is stalking me all over the place. Like, literally! The psycho rabbit was running at me and chasing me around the kitchen. It was silly. I was doing my best to avoid the rabbit while contemplating what psychotropic drug it might need to stop being so aggressive. Then I realized the reason it was stalking me. There was no water or food in it's bowl. So I stopped what I was doing and got the poor starving and dehydrated thing some food and water. I am not sure if any of you have ever been menaced by a rabbit before but it is a little unsettling. At first you think it is going to hop past you but instead it stops in front of you and then follows you around. I have had managers, in some of my past jobs, manage like that. They follow you around and appear suddenly at your shoulder when you take a second to breathe. You may be thinking that I was over reacting but you must take into account that I was not fully awake. Then realize that finding the rabbit charging me at every turn, especially after it peed all over my flip flops, to be a little strange. No sleep, deliberately tripping, pee sabotage, and other odd bunny behavior could be the sign of a coming apocalypse but in this case it just meant the rabbit was hungry.

In another bunny related adventure, I felt you should learn about the naming of this bunny. Maryjo got this rabbit from a school. Apparently a class found this rabbit and took it in for the school year. At the end of the year she took over caring for it. Maryjo has a funny nack of not remembering this rabbit's name. I can't say I blame her because it was a completely sucktacular name like Laverne or Shirley, named after the characters of that old sitcom. An utterly forgettable name if you ask me. So I realized this rabbit desperately needed a name. Last time one of Maryjo's rabbits had a horrible moniker, I asked for the readers of this blog to help. The response was mediocre at best. Add that response to the fact that I have hardly posted in the last couple of months and I realized that leaving it up to you would not be a great choice. So I started thinking about what I knew about this bunny and other rabbits in general. This bunny is brown, soft, relatively mellow, likes grapes and sits in odd and uncomfortable looking spots. I then thought about rabbits in general. Rabbits like to have sex and reproduce, they hop and they are vegetarian. So I put all this information in my amazing name-o-matic machine (also known as my brain) and I came up with "Sexual Chocolate". The rabbit's name is Sexual Chocolate! For those who think this name is odd, realize that I didn't ask you. If you think the name sounds familiar you are right. It is not an original name! The name comes from the movie Coming to America. In that movie, Eddie and Arsenio head to a fundraising event in New York and there is a band performing at it that is named Sexual Chocolate. The announcer says "Give it up for Sexual Chocolate everybody! Sexual Chocolate!" Maybe like 1 person besides the announcer claps. Any way I figured bunnies like to hump and this bunny happens to be brown; the name is pure kismet!

If you have a better name, Maryjo would like something besides the name I have come up with. Please post your suggestions, as a comment, here. I will take the best and debate whether it is a more fitting name for the rabbit. If it is, then you will be the proud namer of a rabbit, and I might even get you a copy of my next year's photo wall calendar! (still in development)

Hippity Hoppity Updatity!

2009-10-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

Wow! I am busy!

I want to write a little more for the story being posted here but I am behind on my work sample. I decided I needed to put out an update so that you know what is going on with me. I have a month left at the elementary school and I finish up my science unit on the human body next week. Of course, after that unit is done I will teach the last 3 weeks full time. I am looking forward to that but I am also a little nervous about it. I am already teaching science, a novel workshop and reading. All that is left is writing and math. Oh and the other things we fit in here and there, like PE and what not.

As far as the work sample is going.... it isn't going well. I have ben having trouble getting going and as a result I am now behind. What really pisses me off is that I also have to get online 4 days a week and write a bunch of crap. Between the work sample and lesson planning I have enough to do. If I could figure out how to shove the electronic discussion question forums up people's posteriors I would feel a little happier. Since that won't happen I figured I would try whining. As far as the work sample goes a lot of the problem lies in my court. I am working hard to readjust my attitude about it. I am trying to get over the act that it is a worthless piece of busywork and realize that it is a worthless piece of crap that is my ticket to becoming licensed. Licensed in a job market that has no jobs.... WOOHOO!

I recently bought a Wii Fit Plus for my dad's Wii. I needed to figure out some activities that I could do inside when it is raining outside. This 85 dollar addition adds a lot of things I can do including yoga, strength training and quite a bit of other things. I tried it out last night and I did a lot of activities including a small run, a bunch of yoga and some interesting blance exercises. I am planning to use this to help fill in those times that I can't get outside for a run because of weather or homework. Homework interferes because a lot of the time directly after school is the best time to get crap done. If I run after school, I end up not getting around to homework. Which is another reason I am light years behind.

Other things are happening that have been interesting. The school district I am doing student teaching in is working without a contract in place. There is a huge disagreement that is mucking up the works. It has gotten to the point that a strike is becoming more of a possibility. The issue is that the district has decided that the teachers need more contact time with students. They pulled the magicaltime frame of a half hour more per day out of their rears but have failed to say how they will implement this additional time or how teachers will be given time to plan for 30 minutes more of instruction. I have been in the classroom and I can tell you that planning is key to being a good teacher. I also know that there is hardly a moment that I am not working with students. I work with them all morning, including recess time. I get a break at lunch and then I am back in the class helping out or instructing. I am just a student teacher and at this current moment I have times where I can run away to use the restroom, make copies for an upcoming lesson or ask a question of another teacher about an upcoming activity. If I was the regular teacher I would not get these reprieves. I would be using the restroom at lunch and at the end of school. I would have to figure out a backup plan, on the spot, if I was missing the copies needed for my lesson. I would basically need to be super organized in the 45 minutes of planning alotted before and after school to make sure I was ready for each day. There is not a half hour laying around that is available to fit anything in at the elementary school level. What is truly funny is that the district keeps saying that they will make time in the existing school day for the extra 30 minutes. From what I can tell that leaves recess being shortened or eliminated, which is a bad idea! Of course they can not come out and say how this time will be added without a change to bus routes or the school day. I am interested to see how this all plays out.

My Dream Life Part 7

2009-09-28T18:11:00.001-07:00

Chapter 6
“Uncle Shawn!” The muffled cry blasts through the door as my niece tries to unlock the 84 locks my paranoid sister has installed on the door. There have been many times I have told her those locks would more likely end lives rather than save them. If they ever needed to get out quickly they wouldn’t be able too. She watches a lot of CSI type shows and that, unfortunately, has shaped her world view. It has gotten to the point that the argument was no longer worth having.
“Gabby! Move away from the door so I can let your uncle in.” My sister’s voice travels through the door almost like she has nothing between us. She has always been loud.
When the door finally opens, a Gabby bolt shoots out of the opening. She wraps herself around me so tightly that someone might thing she is a symbiotic parasite.
“Hi Gabby! How are you?” I ask. She launches into a long litany of things she has done since my last visit. I smile at her, nod at the appropriate places, act surprised and laugh at her train of thought delivery. Her conversation is peppered with a lot of “Guess what?” and an exceedingly liberal amount of ums. Her mother gives me a sympathetic shrug and I wave it off. I like listening to my niece’s oddly tacked together stories. It makes me happy.
She gives me a small break when she runs off to find a new doll she has acquired. That is when my sister’s interrogation starts. Someone not keen to my sister’s way of uncovering the truth would mistake her questions for friendly small talk. At first it is all filled with safe topics but she is merely building her case; slowly getting to the truth. She knows my visit is not just because I had some time off scheduled.
It has been 6 weeks since that letter appeared in my dreams and nothing has happened since. I am not even sure if I dream anymore. I lay down and the next thing I am aware of is the sound of my alarm clock. The missing dreams were bothering me a lot and soon my irritation and frustration began to bleed into other parts of my life. My work “suggested” I take a vacation for a little while. I decided to take their request as an excuse to see my sister and her daughter. It seemed like the appropriate thing to do. I was uncertain now as I sat under my sister’s penetrating gaze.
“How is Jen? You two are still an item aren’t you?” How had we progressed to this question so quickly? She hadn’t even started off slowly, she had simply started right at the heart of things. There was no pretense of conversation this time, merely an interrogation. I looked at the door my niece had gone through; wishing she was back already. She must have become distracted and forgotten the doll I 'had' to see only moments ago.
“Jen’s…… well, she is good. I think.” I hate questions; especially questions about topics I don’t feel like discussing. I know my answer would trigger the “Let’s not talk about it” switch in men. Unfortunately, my sister, no matter how hard she punches, is female. She will not put this topic on the backburner. I prepare to be needled.
She gives me the “Cut the crap” stare but I decided to remain uncooperative. It isn’t so much that I want to avoid the topic as much as I wish I could visit for a while before I have the “state of your relationship” discussion. My sister would have been great during the Spanish Inquisition. I remember watching her make our parents, grandparents, pastors and her teacher squirm during her very determined questioning. She was the kid whose answer to “Later” was “what does later mean to you?”
“Damn it Shawn! Just answer the question! It’s called communication! I talk and you talk; we both talk! So talk!” She snaps.
“Come on Emily! What is happening here has nothing to do with a conversation. You know just as well as I do that when you ask questions that I have to answer, the conversation is one sided. How about you start with “Hi Shawn. How ya doing?” I say in reply. “I’ll even start. You look nice Emily. Is that a new hairstyle?”
“You suddenly become a female Shawn? Am I not concerned enough with your feelings?” She sneers. “By the way, your butt looks huge in those jeans.”
I can’t help but laugh. I have once again lost our sibling battle of wills. “Thanks for humoring me sis. I was just about to ask about my butt and these jeans. As far as Jen goes, It’s over.” I reestablish my battle for control of the conversation because, technically, I told her what was up with Jen and me.
“Seriously? You are refusing to explain? If I put on a pot of coffee and grab some munchies will you freaking talk?” She is just getting started with her lecture but has also started getting the coffee brewing. “You call me a few days ago to ask if you can come visit and here you are, 3 days later. Every other time you gave me a long waiting time. So I know something is up. I look at my single brother and I know he was dating a girl, so I start there. If it is not her, we will move on to a new topic but it is almost always members of the opposite sex that cause trouble like this. You remember when you told me about this chickadee Jen, right?” I nod at her. “What did I tell you?”
“You told me the girl was all wrong for me. So go ahead and pat yourself on the back.”
“Shut up with the moping! Tell the break up story already!”
“Well you remember a few weeks ago that I called up complaining about hating all of her friends?” She nods and makes the rolling motion with her finger to tell me to keep going. “Well I brought up that her friends always seemed to flake out before the bill arrived. She starts going on about how they felt like I didn’t like them and that I kept choosing places they couldn’t afford. The first place they ditched the bill on was having a '2 dollar you call it' well drink special and the second place, the bowling alley, had 5 dollar pitchers. Not exactly bank breakers and we weren’t even doing rounds at the first place. So they were supposed to pay for the drinks that they had. I explained all this to her and I mention that I would have happily went else where had they sugested it. She started freaking out and yelling at me about how inconsiderate I am and how I don't know what it's like to be low on funds. I want to argue and point out most of my 20's were barely above poverty wages but I bite my tongue. After a while I ended up apologizing; just to get her to shut up. So next thing I know we are going to a place that her friends recommend and feel more comfortable at. It looks like a dive bar but none of the drinks are priced below 6.50, meaning it is more expensive then anywhere I had suggested in the past. Once again the bill comes and we are light. I had a beer for 7bucks and that was it but I end up dropping a hundred bucks.”
“Why?” She interrupts.
“Good question. People kept saying they were paying at the bar as they left and suddenly there is a hundred and fifty dollar bill set in front of me and someone Jen works with. He bought a few drinks but maybe 25 bucks is his. He only has 50 bucks in his wallet so he drops it all. He tells me every time he goes out he pays more then he should but has never seen a bill this high. He is upset but not really because he’s known these people for years and is kind of used to it. He usually gets his own bill but decided not to worry this time. Anyway, I am totally pissed and Jen is wasted. She is up at the bar talking to a friend that just showed up from another bar and I know Jen doesn’t have any money. She never has any money. So I pay the damn thing and I am ready to go home. When I go up to collect her she wants to stay a little longer. I tell her that I am not having a good time and would like to just head home. She turns to me and says “Do whatever you want! I could go home with some other guy if I wanted to!” I look at her for a moment while her friend is trying to get her to apologize wile telling me Jen doesn’t mean it and that she will make sure she gets home safely. While this drunk friend is talking I just turn to the bartender, give her money for a cab for the two of them, tell her friend to cab it and not to drive and then I walk off.”
“What happened the next day?” She asks.
“She called me and was upset that I ditched her at the bar. I told her the real story and she stops blaming me for ditching her and starts complaining that I think her friends are dead beats. I told her ‘You better believe it!’ She got more upset and starts on a tirade how I am an elitist. Finally I told her she could save all her anger for someone else because it was over.”
“Ha! Ok… so when did this happen?”
“About 2 weeks ago. It might have affected my state of mind. I was irritable for quite a while the last month and a half because of Jen. Of course if I had to name a specific issue for why I am on a surprise vacation, I would say it is the monotonous job and the lack of sleep. I haven’t been able to get a full night’s sleep in 6 weeks.”

Sho 'nuff!

2009-09-21T16:58:00.000-07:00

My friend Betty pointed out that it was time for me to get something new on the blog. She was hoping for more of the dream story but at the moment I am still working on chapter 6. I have been pretty busy with student teaching responsibilities and I have neglected my creative endeavors. The good news is that I have half of chapter 6 written and I am trying o get the second half complete in a manner that moves the story forward in a good way. I am happy to report that I have begun my first Croc comic in over a year. It was neglected for quite a while but I am working on Croc's teaching career. Don't worry.... he will definitely be eating people. I just want you all to know that I am being creative when I get a second to think but most of my seconds are filed with lesson plans, teaching and retarded homework for my university classes. I am working as hard as I can to get another story chapter up here but you will have to be patient. :)

A lot of you have asked questions about my student teaching and I feel that I owe some words to you. My student teaching is taking place in Roseburg, OR. I am working at a school called Hucrest in a 4th and 5th grade blend. Blends are a little crazy because kids need to get certain grade appropriate curriculum. Luckily the teacher I am working with has awesome teaching partners that help him get this done. It does mean a lot of switching for the kids and a lot of the day we don't have our entire homeroom there. We are coping though. I have been teaching 4th grade science since the second week of school. I am responsible for the entire lesson; from knowing what is going on to making sure all the materials are ready. I like working with these kids. They are nice and do a decent job of following directions. I am staying pretty busy making sure I am ready for school with my teaching assignments and lessons.

The university requirements are driving me crazy. That is all I really want to say about it. I do not understand why the state of Oregon requires 2 work samples be done in order to get a teaching certificate. Shouldn't I be more concerned with attaining the teaching experience in a safe environment and less concerned about a huge paper that nobody seems to do anything with? I should go ahead and say that I have a huge issue with busy work. What I have been led to understand is the work samples I am responsible to create do not really change anything. Nobody asks to see them before employing me and the state does not give me feedback on the job I did. Maybe you have no idea what a work sample is..... I should tell you. A work sample starts an an in depth study of the school, community and students I am working with. From there I talk about my plan for teaching, assessments and the lesson I do. Then I give results, of the unit I taught, for the class, a small group and a few specific students. Then I write about why things happened as they did. It is a 100 page P.O.S. that never gets critiqued and does not really get used after the certificate is attained. In fact, the lessons section is a synopsis and not the actual units. I am creating lessons to teach from but I will need to rewrite a narrative of these lesson plans for the paper. I have no problem creating lessons, teaching, and evaluating my progress for my own edification but to put together some polished crap that nobody will pay much attention to kind of makes me want to smack people. Anyone need a good smacking around? I am just saying that these time consuming work samples should be worth something after I get finished. Someone should care about all this work. Otherwise it is one more hoop...

If I could leave the work sample out of the mix I would say that everything is going swimmingly. I like my coordinating teacher and all the teachers I am working with. I like the students. I am enjoying having people to talk to after I get done with my day. I like the chickens and enjoy making up stories about the house bunny. It has not been as terrible to be stuck in Roseburg as I thought it would be. How are you finding yourself? Is your life going well? If not, how can you take steps to change that?

Things I shouldn't say...

2009-09-07T10:37:00.000-07:00

Here is a new portion of the blog. If you see this title you will know I am going to say something I wouldn't normally say. I might think it but I would not normally voice it. Here goes!

Last night I popped into a Fred Meyer grocery store to buy some oil for my car and to grab a few snacks for the apartment. As I was walking along, I heard Michael Jackson being played on the store's radio. This was the first time I had ever heard Michael Jackson being pumped throught the speakers of a grocery store. This was new.

That was when I thought, "The best thing that could have happened for Michael Jackson's music was his death."

I am just as tired of hearing about his funeral and death as all of you are. This is not about that. This is about all the "fans" that came out of the woodwork to celebrate his "legacy". He is the top selling artist on iTunes since his death; according to a podcast I listened to called 'Stuff from the B Side'. Some of his albums have sold more copies posthumously then they did when they were new. Did death change how people saw him? Did his death absolve him of the "crimes" that kept these new "fans" from buying his albums while he was alive? Do you become more socially acceptable after your death?

Let's face it... the dude was weird. Now that we have faced it, is his music accetable? I found peace with his weirdness right before I bought his Invincible album. I don't know or care how many surgeries he had. I could care less that he used to hang out with a chimp. I am not even curious who the biological father of his children are. The fact of the matter was and is that I liked his music. I don't have it loaded on my iPod. It is not in regular rotation but when I am reminiscing I like to hear it. I enjoy being surprised by hearing it while I am out. It is not an everyday kind of music for me but it is in my collection.

The reason I found peace and bought a few albums was a chance encounter with some of his songs. I liked them as a child and they make me nostalgic and happy when I hear them now. The thing I had to get over was his molestation cases. What I realised is that I don't know what happened behind closed doors. I will never know. I have made my peace with that... as uneasy as that peace is at times.

I can not wait to see what happens after the backlash, because you know it's coming. The media will take the gloves off eventually. Will all these new Jackson "fans" deny that they ever bought the album?

Dream Land Part 6

2009-08-30T18:03:00.000-07:00

Chapter 5

“There you are. You really do have some screwy dreams! Let’s get going.” The crocodile has a way of talking that was fast and to the point. Usually the point made sense only to him but he definitely had a point. I got off the camel I was sitting on and followed the crocodile. Even as I was doing it I realized how silly it would sound when I wrote about it later.

He had become my guide ever since he bit off my hand and I would almost say we were friends. The thing is that even dream crocodiles are not really suited for friendship. If he was feeling hungry you had to watch out. With that one exception, I realized that I enjoyed his company. He always led the way through my dreams. Searching for Sarah was always on the agenda but I am not sure that the crocodile saw it as a priority. We spent a lot of our time pausing while he ate something that passed by. Usually it was something slightly annoying that he would gobble down. One time a rabbit with a whistle was following us blowing away on the whistle; I kicked it and then he ate it. When I woke up my alarm clock was smashed and I was three hours late to work. I am happy to say that has only happened once.

As I left the camel behind and followed him, I thought I saw something familiar enter my peripheral vision. It was a face amidst a rainforest landscape but when I turned to get a better look, it disappeared. I stood there for a while staring out into the forest. When I turned around the crocodile was eating a monkey that looked suspiciously like the animated Curious George monkey. I blinked my eyes and the crocodile was gone. To be truthful so was everything else…. I was in that same white space I had lost Sarah in. The couch faded in through the white. Perhaps extruded would be a better term as it seemed to plop through like a Twinkie from the Twinkie extruding machine. Sitting there on the couch, delicately perched on the seat cushion, was a letter. I stared at it but did not move towards it. I was not really sure that I wanted to open it, but even from across the room I saw it was addressed to me. Instead of walking towards it, I sat down on the ground and waited. I needed time.

“Well aren’t you going to open it?” I turned toward the voice and saw the crocodile. I was a little puzzled as to when he had come into the white space but I let that thought trail away. He was eating again. This time he had a napkin tied around his neck and he had a bucket of fried chicken in his lap. I shrugged at him in response. “So what is your whiny reason this time?”

“This time?” I asked, confused by the addition of these words. Had we done this before?

“Yeah.... This time! When I first met you there was a letter. You refused to acknowledge it even after I put it in your hand. You kept talking to me about my eating habits I was feeling a little frustrated so I bit off your hand; the one holding the letter. Then all you could do was whine about your missing hand.” He shook half of the bucket of chicken into his mouth.

I turned to look at the envelope again but it wasn’t there. “Hey… uh… where…”

“I put it in your hand again.” The crocodile interrupted, predicting my question. I looked down at my hand and saw he was right. I looked at the lettering of my name on the envelope; it was not Sarah’s writing. I was not sure how I knew this but I did. I slid a finger along the lip and opened the envelope. The letter itself was a light blue shade with a hand written script in darker blue. I had a hard time deciphering the signature at the bottom and decided I had to read the letter to have a chance of figuring out who sent it.

Shawn,
I am not sure what is happening between you and Sarah. She has not been herself these last few weeks. Has it really been weeks?
Where are you? I can never find you to talk and we need to. I have never been given a name verbally in your dreams but I do have one. My name is (the name is smeared as if he decided not to reveal it). You will know me as Sarah’s friend and your best friend in this dream realm. I have been a director, a tour guide, a pick axe wielding dwarf and scores of other people. I am always there and I usually help you get together with Sarah. I am always the first to find you which is why it is so weird that I can’t find you now.
I think we may be in trouble here. Your dream world has been chaotic since you and Sarah had that talk. It is not safe for me to spend much time there. Something keeps interfering with any attempt of contact I have made. The one exception was the last letter but I know you never read it. I am headed to find someone who might be able to help me find you and fix this strange degradation of your dreams. If you see a letter in the future make sure you notice it sooner.
Your friend,
(The scribble is undecipherable)

I reread the letter twice. I can’t remember his name or read through the blurred writing. Meaning that I still have no idea what name I should have in my head to search with. A lot of searching in dreams is done through names. Faces, bodies and species are subject to change. The name doesn’t, it sticks with the wearer of the name. I star to think about reasons why he might be looking for me and wonder about what he meant when he said the dream world was no longer safe. A distressing idea occurs to me idea, that someone has changed the rules of my dreams on me. I turn to ask the crocodile for his advice but my alarm goes off instead.

My Dream Life part 5 (The crocodile guide)

2009-08-20T05:25:00.000-07:00

Chapter 4
My dreams have been mundane and ordinarily random the last few weeks. In the most recent one a cigar toting alligator paused in front of me to ask for a light and before I know it he and I are wandering through convoluted adventures. I didn’t catch a trace of Sarah anywhere we went. She is no longer there to be found.
My real life has been chugging along just fine. Jen and I are still together and she has even introduced me to her friends. Something I wish hadn’t happened because in truth her friends are terrible. Which is not something you can say to the girl you are dating; even if it is the truth. I guess I should give an example. The first time I met her best friend Ally and her boyfriend Ben we went out for dinner. It was a place that I have always loved and the little Asian family that owns it are proud of the establishment. The food is good and they are always happy to see me. Everyone who has ever been there with me has thought it was a great place. It is small and not fancy but between the pride of the owners and the quality of the food it is a pleasant eating experience. Except for that night; all her friends could do was ridicule and complain about everything. At one point Ally thought it would be fun to mimic the accent. I have never considered myself P.C. but I was mortified and wanted to stop her in the eye with a chopstick. I was absolutely offended by their behavior and felt the need to apologize profusely for a week afterwards. Which meant that I went to their restaurant for lunch and ate for 7 days; between bites of food I apologized. It was the most pleasant apology experience I have ever had. They were still happy to see me every time but I think in all honesty they were happy I came alone.
Jen apologized to me and claimed it was the pre-dinner drinks that had caused the behavior I had been scandalized by. I decided to take her word for it because Jen seems relatively sane. After last night’s bowling event I am having my doubts about her ability to judge a person’s character. There were a group of ten of us; evenly divided between her friends and mine. It started out a little awkwardly but a few pitchers later everything seems amicable. Until I noticed that they had failed to chip in on any of the pitchers but were drinking most of the beer. I am all for buying pitchers and allowing people to drink with me and even get the extras beer or two on me but I need them to pitch in as well. It is an unwritten rule of hanging out as a group; everyone takes a turn buying a pitcher. My side of the bowling group had all bought a pitcher at some point and we suddenly had run dry. So I asked “Whose turn is it to get a pitcher?” The only response was silence and I felt like I needed to say something. My sarcastic friend Mike, knowing I was already on edge about Jen’s friends, decided to just buy the next pitcher and stop me from saying anything. Which, in reality, has only delayed the inevitable. I could feel my irritation building and knew I needed to call it a night and as the beer was passed around I declined.
I kissed Jen on the cheek at the last frame, made some excuse about a meeting early in the morning and took off; followed closely by my friends. We ended up back at my place and everyone discussed what had happened. Nobody had left with a very good impression of her friends and only I was the one irritated by the pitcher situation. Mike’s wife had not been comfortable with how Ally had spoken to the kid working behind the bowling counter. Mike had not liked little side comments said into his back as he went up to bowl. Steve had been irritated by the general conduct of her friends and his wife Susan could only say “I didn’t like them but not for any concrete reason.” Susan likes everybody and her admitting she did not like someone is kind of unheard of. If she were ever carjacked she would still not be able say that the guy was a jackass. Something was wrong with Jen’s friends and I was less sure of who Jen was.
When I had calmed down and everyone had left I tried to sleep. I wanted to find Sarah and talk to her. I wanted her to be there by my side in the dream. She always had good insights and could get at what the real problem was that I was facing. She would listen and when I was done she would point out things I had not paid attention to that were important clues. Then she would ask me questions that got to the heart of the matter and helped me figure out what to do. Of course I wanted her by my side for more than just her insight. It occurred to me as I lay there that asking Sarah about Jen’s friends did not seem right somehow. Then I just started thinking about her. I wondered if she still wore her engagement ring. I wondered if she ever smiled when she thought of me. I also wondered if she had manifested in someone else’s dreams.
That was when the dream started; the one with the crocodile. He told me to stop looking and to work on getting my head in order. He said “No one wants someone who is afraid to go after what he wants. You should have stopped her before she left. If you really loved her you would have.” His advice continued as I followed him through confusing dreamscapes. He told me that what is going to happen will and my job was to be ready. Then he bit off my hand. For some odd reason I still followed him around like we were friends.

My Dream Life part 4 (It falls apart)

2009-08-19T04:29:00.000-07:00

Chapter 3
“Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?”
She doesn’t answer at first. “No, not really.”
I look at her back as she has not yet turned to face me. It isn’t hard to guess that she is upset and that her anger is directed at me. “Sarah…. Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you for days.”
“I know….” She offers nothing more than that and I decide not to push.
“What should we do Sarah? We have a whole night ahead of us!” I try to sound excited. I try to hold back my fears but it sounds hollow. I feel like the minute she starts talking it will all be over. I am not sure what to do to prevent it. At the same time I am not sure I should prevent it. Loving a girl in a dream is not something you can explain to people; but she is not someone I want to give up.
“Can we just sit here? Do we have to enter some crazy adventure? Can’t we just sit together on the couch?” As she says it a comfortable looking couch appears behind me. I sit down as a silent answer to her question and she follows suit; somehow avoiding meeting my eyes. She tucks under my arm and we sit on a couch in a blank white space.
It is a long time before she speaks. I felt like I was almost asleep when she did. Which is a weird feeling… to be on the edge of sleep when you are dreaming. When she spoke it was quietly but in this empty world with only her and me, on a couch, it sounds like an explosion. “I love you.” Then she kisses me and I shut my eyes. When I open them again she is gone and the vast empty white is bleeding away. Sounds start intruding on me and the couch and I am back in my normal dream world; the one of chaos and non sequiturs. I put my head in my hands and feel the pain of her loss. It feels like a hole has been ripped from me and I wake up screaming.

My Dream Life Part 3

2009-08-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

Chapter 2
I knock on her door and I hear a mumbled answer from behind the door. I interpret it as “Be right there.” When she opens the door she is wearing a little robe and holding her toothbrush and suddenly the mumbling is understandable. She smiles at me and her eyes fall to the flowers I am holding and she kisses me. She tastes minty.
I follow her in to the apartment and she takes the flowers and hands me the TV remote. Then she rushes off to continue getting ready and to find a vase for the flowers. I sit down on her slightly uncomfortable futon couch and flip through the channels. I pause on the sports channel but they are talking about hockey and I realize I don’t care. I flip it to the cartoon network and settle in to watch Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. I think about finding something else because I am afraid this might turn me into a huge dork in her eyes but I did just arrive with flowers. With that thought I place the remote on the table in front of me. I end up watching a show and a half before she is ready to go. Before we can go she has to ask the inexplicable girl question, “How do I look?”
I pause and smile at her, “You look stunning Jen.” Was there ever a different answer to this question? Let’s be honest here, even if she looked like she was joining the circus my answer would be the same. It is nice to actually mean it but the correct answer is always positive and immediate. After I have answered I finally do take in what she is wearing; a black dress that makes me think some very distracting thoughts. She does look fantastic and I begin to wonder how I ever got the first date with her; let alone the third. I open the door for her and then follow her to the stairs.
Dinner is an experience and it puts a decent dent in my finances. I am glad the food was good because I have been places and spent more and had less palatable cuisine. Jen is all smiles as we head out the door. “Can we go see a movie?” she asks. I look across the street at the multiplex and see nothing of interest on the marquee. “Only if you pick it.”
We end up seeing some poorly written love story but she loves it. It is what is known as a chick flick. I think about the other choices that were available and I realize I am glad she chose this one. At least it did not have Meryl Streep, Jodi Foster or Renee Zellweger in it. I imagine the male star of the film getting hit by a car as he runs across the street to stop her from leaving him and I am able to make it through to the end. Of course my thoughts aren’t on Jen, the date or the absurd plot of the movie; they are on Sarah. My dreams were empty last night and I don’t remember anything about them except for the fact she was not in them. It is the first time in months I completely missed her. I am not sure what it means and I have been feeling uneasy all day. It occurs to me that my worry for a dream girl might be ridiculous and maybe her not appearing is a good thing. Of course I don’t believe that. I have thought at times that I was going insane and not dreaming of her might show that I am reconnecting with reality. Of course reality is over rated.
If this was a movie, her absence would probably lead me into a world of intrigue. I would find out she is a real person and that she is in trouble. Perhaps she and the others were all in a coma and an experimental drug connected their dreams to mine but the doctors cut it off and they are dying. Or maybe the girl is from another world and she is an alien in need of my help. Or maybe this is a surreal story and she is actually an old childhood friend who died and always loved me. Of course I am not in a movie or a beautifully crafted story so all these ideas seem stupid and impossible. It is more likely that I am insane.

My Dream Life - part 2 (the real world)

2009-08-09T03:10:00.000-07:00

Chapter 1 - The Real World

I am not entirely sure when my dreams started to have a string of recurring people with ongoing roles. I am not even sure when my dreamland became more real than reality but it happened. The truth is I am in love with that girl. Every night I run into her somewhere in my dreams and if I am really lucky it is long before I wake up. It is always like the dream I have relayed to you; infuriating, changing, vivid, lovely, happy and perfect. I am not always a movie star…. Or was I a television star? And she doesn't always look the same but the minute I find her (often with the guy who played the director last night as a guide) I know it's her. Sometimes her face will change, much like her outfit did in this dream, but I always know it's her once I've found her. Some of the more irritating nights of dreaming are spent being confused and searching for her but not remembering that it is her I am searching for. I wander, looking the entire dream time and finally find her just to wake up. She always knows before I do that I am about to wake up. It is the reason everyone was so irritated with me last night. I had forgotten them in my dreaming again and had not made it until it was too late. As I woke her kiss remained etched in my brain as did her tears. I would need to find her quicker tonight. She deserved that much.

In this place, the "real" world, I work in insurance services. It is not my ideal work environment but I pay the bills, put fuel in my car, shop for groceries and have enough left over to manage a few fun things every week. My savings account is not filled to the brim but there is something in there. I have plans to go out with friends tonight for a little drunken karaoke and I have a third date set up for tomorrow with a girl I met at a friend’s house party. My life is not closeted and I am no your normal delusional maniac. I don’t lack friends or dates. I exist in the real world and I try to maintain and keep a life in this world. Truth be told, I am just as confused as you are about my other life but I have been seeing the same dream girl for two years. It seemed to be time to propose to her and we have been engaged for the last two months.

I used to wish that my dreams were the reality and this place was the dream. I know it isn't though. This world is too horribly consistent to ever be a dream. Every time I wake up I instantly know where I am, who I am, what bills are due and what I need to do that day. That never happens in a dream. Usually in a dream I spend most of it trying to remember where I am and what I need to do. I will be lucky if I have the movie/tv star world pop back up. I hate waking up from that world no matter how random and changing it is but even when I have all day to sleep I can't always manage a dream with her in it. Even a long nap does not guarantee that I will see her; even if I fall into dreamland. So every day I get up and go about my other life. I work, play, date and eat but not necessarily in that order. Welcome to my life.

Most of my days are as boring as anyone else's days. On the weekends I have some fun with friends, go on dates, see the latest blockbuster movie and indulge in the act of sleeping in. My weeknight fun usually consists of watching my favorite television shows and maybe a bowl of ice cream. Basically in my day to day life you and I are similar. I am not marked as different from you in any way in the real world. In my dreams is where I differ. Even if you have recurring characters in your dreams they are probably some weird nightmare where it replays. My dreams have people who show up every night. They know who I am, love me for who I am, understand that they are parts of my dream, and remember not only what happened the night before but also have a knowledge of my waking moments. You can’t tell me that this happens to you… and if you do tell me that, we both know it is just because you like to argue.

This day is not much different than any other Friday. My calls are new people calling with vaguely the same problems. The insurance company is moving too slowly on their insurance claim, we raised their rates, they have a new driver or car to add, or they are being dropped because they can’t remember to pay the bill no matter how many notices we send them. I chatter between calls and on my breaks with coworkers but overall I am bored. The job is mindless and terrible. One thing this job has taught me is that no matter what your insurance company claims they are not on your side, they aren’t your family, they make terrible neighbors and they are in it for the money. That brings up a sore point for me because more than half of my day is filled up with you yelling at me about your own mistakes. Don’t fool yourself by the pleasant sounding chatter coming from my mouth. If you say the wrong thing about something we insure that ups your risk realize that I am being recorded and I do have to find out more and possibly raise your rates. We aren’t friends that can shoot the breeze about the tree about to crash through your house. So watch your mouth and don’t give more details then I ask for. I am not saying that you should lie to your insurance company; you most definitely should answer all questions truthfully. Lying could end up getting you into some serious legal trouble. What I am saying is don’t start giving out extra information. If you are super proud of the latest giant lift you put on your truck share it with your friend not your insurance company representative. If I didn’t bring it up keep it to yourself. Anyway the day was filled with the usual crap and the only bright spot was knowing that at 5 PM my friends and I were headed to happy hour. I could almost taste it.

--------------------------------------

“So tell us about this chick you’re dating, Shawn. Is she hot?” Mike asked with his usual bluntness.

“You mean Sarah? Except for her hunchback, horrible teeth, insatiable appetite for human flesh, and terrible smell of decay; I would have to say yes.” I responded. And the guys laughed as the waitress set our beers down in front of us.

“You gonna bring her out to the lake with you next weekend?” Mike asked.

“It depends on if she can find a swimming suit that will accentuate her hump back or not.” I replied with a smirk. “I am planning too and so far she is planning on coming along. Are you bringing your wife or did you figure that it might be a good idea to ditch her again?”

“Hey! She told me I could go without her when she sprained her ankle. How was I supposed to know that actually meant that I couldn’t go without her unless I planned on committing hari-kiri when I got back.” He said with a slightly innocent but somehow evil look in his eye.

We all laughed and reached for our beers.
---------

A Rambling Review of The Unborn

2009-08-08T23:50:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is with the last 3 horror movies I have rented but Wow! They sure do suck. The 3 movies in question: Quarantine (I was laughing during this movie, another hand held taped report from people who don't make it out alive), The Uninvited (I say this movie sucked because I was wanting scary and it wasn't although it was sorta interesting), and The Unborn. I just watched The Unborn and I had to share how bad it was. So here is my review of The Unborn.

The above picture is probably the most engaging scene in the movie. The heroine in underwear.... what bliss! The thing is the movie is so bad it doesn't help. If you are looking for scary then you should look elsewhere. Let me break it down for you the above pictured underwear clad girl is named Casey; which only took the entire movie for me to find out. I am sure they said it before the end but I only hear her name with enough repetition to stick at the end. Even video calls to her friend lacks anyone calling her by her name.

We start the movie off watching Casey jog. She pauses to catch her breath and notices a glove on the ground. Then she sees a boy standing there. The boy has a white face and blue eyes that look like really bad colored contacts a weirdo goth kid might wear to make you think they were weird. Of course they are a goth kid so you know they aren't weird, merely pathetic. Anyway this little kid turns into a growling dog wearing a mask that looks like the creepy little boy. For whatever reason when it runs away she follows it. We soon discover this was a dream she is telling a friend about who is telling her what the dream means. Casey also happens to be babysitting a little boy and his baby brother. Of course she hears steps and whispering on the baby monitor so she goes to investigate and the little boy is showing the baby a mirror. She decides to stop him and he crushes it into her head and says "Jumby wants to be born now." In case you were wondering, this little boy is weirder and creepier looking then the creepy white faced and bad contact wearing boy. The next day she is discussing it with her friend from the phone call, her boyfriend and some random girl who never shows up again. The friend talks about a superstition that babies shouldn't see their reflection for a year after birth to keep them safe. I zoned out at this point.

Then the underwear scene happened. I zoned out after that and next thing I notice she has sex with her boyfriend. Which brings up an interesting theme in modern horror flicks. Apparently sex allows evil things to happen. I am not sure who is more against sex: religious organizations or horror movie directors. One of the first movies to make this point was Halloween. In that movie all the teens die except Jamie Lee Curtis and she is the only virgin. In fact, all the others die right after sex or during the act. So if you ever suspect you are stuck in a horror film please refrain from having sex. It could save your life.

Anyway the minute after she knocks boots the little colored contact wearing pasty kid starts upping the ante a bit. He shows up all over, sends icky insects at her and appears in mirrors. Then Casey's eye starts turning blue and we find out this is caused.... somehow.... by a twins random strand of DNA. She finds out she was a twin but that her bro died in the womb. Shortly after this.... YAWN!!! Sorry. Anyway somehow we find out, in the middle of the movie, that her mother was adopted and killed herself. Before she died she found her own biological mother. So Casey goes and has a chat with her. We find out that the little ugly kid with the bad contacts was her twin brother back when they were prisoners in a Nazi concentration camp. Apparently experiments.... brother dies.... body is possessed.... she knows... kills possessed bro... pasty, contact wearing kid is a little perturbed to be dead. Anyway the thing that possessed the brother is some old Jewish demon thing called a dybbuk. It likes twins because they are easier to take over, I guess. Casey decides she needs an exorcism... The dybbuk kills her grandma, inhabits the little boy she babysat, kills and inhabits her friend but she is the one who needs an exorcism. Aren't exorcism more affective if you go after the person actually possessed? But.... what do I know?

Anyway they have an exorcism; and her boyfriend and 8 other people helping out are killed. She and the only other surviving person, a rabbi played by Gary Oldman, think they got rid of it. Five seconds later we find out she is pregnant with twins and the movie is over.

So here are a few stupid highlights:

"Jumby" - Her dad tells her, when he finally admits she was a twin before birth, that the nickname given to the brother was jumby. Uh... what kind of stupid nickname is that? I think "jumby" has the right to start offing people. Why he didn't start with pops (who never reappears after he admits his daughter was supposed to be a twin) is beyond me.

the exorcism - I am still confused by the fact that she thought she should get an exorcism even though the other people were the ones being possessed. That is like calling a plumber to your house because your neighbor has a clogged toilet. She was never possessed.... Apparently one of her babies is though.

"The world is not safe" - Her boyfriend and her watch the possessed little boy (babysat kid), kill her friend and her friend becomes randomly possessed. Of course, as soon as that happens they cut away to an ambulance checking the still creepy but no longer possessed murderer... I mean kid. There is no sign of the friend nor is she really brought up again. Anyway she and her boyfriend are suddenly in a diner talking about it. He is rambling about the world no longer being safe and she is rambling about the world never actually was safe and people just pretend it is. This stupid conversation is fresh in our minds when the exorcism starts going wrong. The boyfriend frees her from her restraints during the exorcism that "shouldn't be stopped once it's begun". They run away while the other people are being killed by the evil spirit that has still never inhabited or posessed Casey. So if a hot Megan Fox looking girl named Casey wants you to help her be exorcised just say "NO!", because she will end up running away in the middle of it and you will be killed. Even worse is the fact that she was never even posessed. Getting back to the movie, boyfriend and Casey are hiding and maybe like five seconds of silence go by and she says "I think it's gone." Somehow she has transitioned from scared of everything to thinking everything is peachy keen. Of course immediately after that the boyfriend gets attacked and possessed and yada yada yada. Out of nowhere, the rabbi starts chanting the exorcism thing again and somehow "saves the day". So what happened between "the world is not safe" to "I think it's gone"? What made her think they were safe? How did she change her mind so quickly? I'll tell you how; bad writing.

Two African-American characters - I am sure you have all heard the African-American comedians talk about black people in horror movies. They joke about how they always are the first to die in these movies. In this movie they don't die first but neither makes it out alive. Her friend, who happens to be African-American, is the second character to die. Then there is a priest who dies within 5 minutes of being introduced. He dies at the exorcism and is possessed. He is the one who attacks the boyfriend. Anyway, it is amazing that the white rabbi lives and the African-American priest dies. The funny thing is the priest knows more about exorcisms then the Rabbi so it seems he should have been the one left standing. Once again we have a movie with only two African-American characters in it and both die. Awesome. Way to keep a stereotype alive.

Bottom line: This movie isn't even worth seeing to make fun of. It was pretty boring and the action scenes were boring.

My Dream Life

2009-08-07T14:44:00.000-07:00

This is a new story idea I am trying out. The idea is born from a dream I had while napping. Unfortunately for me the dream ended as I started to have it make sense but fortunately for me my sleep addled brain latched on to the idea and pushed me to write out a story idea. This is the beginning.... the rehash of the dream I was having basically but with a little creative license. It will be the set up for a few short stories to come. I am working on the next one right now. Let me know what you think of it.

Prelude
I am not exactly sure how long I have been in show business but it somehow feels like the last 2 minutes and an eternity all at once. The only thing I am sure of is that I feel good about my career as I finish filming the last scene of the day. I am a big star, a rising talent and there is something else…… What is it? Damn, that thought was just there but a lot of things change and shift every time I am here. Lately I have noticed that I am struggling to adjust but I am not sure what exactly I am adjusting from. I can’t even tell you where my trailer is or what kind of a scene I just shot. I am sure it will all work out well in the end.

As I walk away from the set, and through the hundreds of star struck extras, I notice her further up ahead. She is wearing an outfit that looks like a track suit and has USA embroidered across the back. I know her but I am not clear as to the why or the how. Every part of me wants to go to her but I turn down a different path. I am headed to the location where a television show is being filmed, a show I guest star in occasionally. The place where my fiancé works and I feel almost giddy. I can see the cast, dressed in the same track suits with USA embroidered on the back, and they are outside a collegiate administrative building in this scene. I know this set pretty well and I wave to them but none of them return the wave. The wave might be what causes the director to turn around with such clear exasperation. He is usually happier to see me. I wave again, hoping to get one friendly face to acknowledge me but they look down or away instead. The director’s eyes have not wavered from my face and irritation is etched there. I feel bad about that because we are usually on good terms. One might even say we are friends. I continue walking towards him, a question on my lips.

“She’s not here.” He says in lieu of a greeting; somehow answering my unasked question. My smile falters for a minute. “She’s behind you. She was over near your set trying to recruit some extras for this scene to come over and help as soon as you guys wrapped.” He hesitates again and he looks genuinely sad. “Look, I don’t have enough time to write you into this script so come back earlier next time. Now go to her.”

I turn away from him, confused again, and see her immediately. The girl I saw as I walked away from my set, of course. I knew it was her somehow but at the same time, I hadn’t. She is wearing the same track suit the rest of the cast is wearing. It couldn’t be more obvious. I feel a little silly and stupid but suddenly she is there, in front of me. I take her image in. The beautiful girl, she is my greatest and truest love. Her brown hair cascades down, framing her face. I look into her brown eyes and see a happy sadness there. I smile at her and reach for her as something flashes.

I notice her pigtails are cute, as is her 1950’s puppy dress, but I can’t quite shake the feeling something just changed. Something is different but her hand is in mine and the concern over the missing piece is shoved from m mind. I kiss her and tell her how much I missed her. It’s all true but I can tell that she is holding back. I keep kissing her and she looks at me with a mixture of love, irritation and resignation. A tear wells in her eye and I ask her what is making her cry.

“You came too late.” Her smile fades and the tear begins to fall as slowly everything goes white around us. I can hear the director say goodbye and the crew echo those words. The last thing I see is her tear stained face as I kiss her lips and the last thing I hear is: “You’re waking up now…”

Then I wake up in my room with a blaring alarm clock and I am once again alone.

A day of decadence

2009-08-04T21:32:00.000-07:00

I finally got the financial aid check today. To celebrate, and relieve a little stress, I spent some money today. I did not spend a lot but I did spend more then I have spent in the last 3 weeks. It felt great. As a result of the spending I have a few things to review. Let's start with the latest culinary creation from McDonald's!

I had been seeing emails and web ads about McDonald's new Angus Third Pounders for a few weeks now. I have to tell you that everytime I look at a picture of them I feel the urge to have a burger. The marketing is pretty appealing but would the taste equal the image? I went to McDonald's and ordered the Bacon Cheeseburger meal. I had visions of a tasty burger being complimented nicely by some wonderfully salty french fries. To my great disappointment the french fries were not fresh and the enjoyment was sapped from them. They were not exactly cold but they were close. Nothing disappoints like bad french fries. Not even knowing that they were boiled in beef fat before getting frozen, then shipped before being boiled again could cheer me up. Normally knowing how horrible these fries are for me really helps but the luke warmness stole that dream from me. I turned my attention to the burger and took a moment to take in the sight. An important factor of enjoyment is the look of the burger and I needed to take it in. The burger was a little off center as were the toppings. That was to be expected as I had watched the idiot behind the counter point out something to someone with the same hand that held my burger. Irritation caused by the memory of her waving my burger around flashed through my head as I looked at the off kilter burger but it was still an enticing sight. I picked the burger up and took a bite. I tasted nothing but bun. I was more then a little irritated at that moment but I readjusted my mind set and took another bite. I tasted the burger but nothing else. I was trying not to feel like the endeavor had been a waste of time. I took a sip of cola and picked the burger back up and hoped it had flavor this time. I had purchased a bacon cheese burger for a reason and that was the flavor. The third bite gave me what I was waiting for. A perfect mingling of cheese, burger, bacon, ketchup, mustard, and onion. I did not set the burger down this time and as soon as I had swallowed I took another bite. This bite had an overwhelming flavor of pickle. It was not the neon green slices I normally found in a fast food burger but more like a real pickle. It was interesting to taste that flavor but it was almost overwhelming. I looked at the burger while I chewes and I thought "there is something missing". I started looking at the picture on the ad they used for a tray liner. They had the three options lined up for me to gawk at and that was when I saw what was missing. The burger did not have lettuce or tomato. In fact, it is marketed without lettuce and tomato in the picture but sitting next to it is a cheeseburger with a beautiful tomato slice and lettuce leaf. I had somehow assumed it would have these and I was a little bummed to have them not be part of the party. As I sat there, wondering what McDonald's was thinking, I decided that I was going to review the burger. I set the burger down and looked at it for a moment. I examined the burger itself and saw that it looks like a pan fried burger and kind of like a boiled burger. If you cook a burger in the skillet the fat bubbles out and turns grey and stays connected. If you have never pan fried the burger you might not have seen that as the grease falls into the fire on a grill. I know that McDonald's doesn't have a grill; so I am not sure why I was surprised. Either way it was nicely browned and tasted pretty good so I picked it back up. I decided not to examine too much further and to just focus on the taste. After all I had spent 6.69 on the stupid meal (should have just bought the sandwich considering the terribleness of the fries) and I was pretty hungry. As I kept eating, the burger started tasting saltier and at a certain point it seemed all I could taste was salt, pickle and onion. The last straw was the last piece of bacon. I had not looked at the bacon before I dove in. I had stopped doing that years ago; for some odd reason they always undercook the bacon for my tastes but if I don't look I don't know and I can enjoy it. This piece of bacon just did not have the texture down and it stopped me from enjoying that bite. At that point I abandoned a quarter of the burger and 3/4of the fries. The fries were that bad. Overall my suggestion is that if you are at a McDonald's the new Angus burgers are worth trying. Perhaps your McDonald's won't be filled with incompetents (not likely but you can hope) and the burger will be evenly seasoned, the bacon will be crisp, and the french fries fresh. Perhaps if that had happened for me I would have been more excited about the experience. Either way the burger left me wanting and I will not go out of my way to get that burger again. If I have a craving for a good fast food burger I will find a Carl's Jr.

After I ate the burger I hopped on a train and went downtown to see the movie Moon. I had read a friend's review and decided I needed to see it and it was worth the trip. I am not going to review it for you as I think you should read the entry that inspired me: http://focoproject.com/2009/08/movie-review-moon/ My recommendation is to not look at any other reviews besides his because he manages not to tell you what happens. Not knowing what happens was pretty fun when the stuff started happening.

I wasn't done with my decadence yet. I had an urge to see the movie Orphan. I have been thinking of seeing it for a while now and had even cashed in all my coins to make it happen but had not made it to the theater yet. You see I wanted to go to the theater that, oddly enough, is like a block East and two blocks North of the theater Moon was playing at. I wanted that theater because their non-matinee is 8.75 when all other theaters are 10.50. The matinee of Moon cost 8.25 while the matinee of Orphan was 7.75 (same theater company). So I had been waiting until I was at that theater at the right time. The last 3 times I was near the theater the movie had already started and their was over an hour to wait. I am not great at waiting and the lack of money in my pocket (those previous 3 times) helped me to know that there were not a lot of time killing options.

The tag line says "There's something wrong with Esther" and the minute you see her you know that. This girl is wearing clothes better suited for the rich snobby girl on the Little House on the Prairie tv series. She is definitely different; in a creepy way not a fun, let's play with the imaginary aliens kind of way. Never the less, a family that is not quite over their demons and their losses decide she is perfect. You see this family already has a son and a daughter but lost a baby during delivery. Their actual daughter is deaf and doesn't utter a peep in the movie so perhaps she is also mute. The son looks like he was made to sulk. The parents meet Esther during a visit to an orphanage and immediately like her. They take her home and welcome her there with open arms, but it seems nobosy else has met her until then. At first there seems to be a dynamic set up where everyone in the house but the older son loves this girl. Once again, I found myself wondering 'why?' because this girl gives off a mega-weird vibe. Esther immediately bonds with the little girl and they seem to be inseperable. Esther even learns sign language to communicate better with the little girl and I guess one might feel comforted by that. Of course not if you have seen the previews. It isn't long before Esther's evil side is revealed and she has shoved another girl off some playground equipment. To be perfectly honest I was totally happy when that happened because that particular girl had been quite repugnant. In fact it was that scene, the scene shown in the previews, that made me like Esther. Suddenly I was hoping that the review I had read, prior to seeing the film, that talked about the surprise ending was suggesing a surprise ending more along the lines of Uninvited. Of course to get that reference you would have to be one of the 12 people who has seen Uninvited. Either way Esther has just gotten started being evil. I did not completely anticipate the twist at the end... in fact I probably caught on like 5 seconds before the movie expected you to catch on. Then again maybe I caught on right where everyone else did. Of course I have decided it must have been the 5 seconds earlier then everyone else because it sounds better. You know somehow not super cocky but better... ;) I enjoyed this movie. It was not great or groundbreaking. If you are not a horror/suspense person then there is no need to rush out and see it but if you like these kind of flicks you should see it. Do yourself a favor don't read anything about the twist and see if you can beat my "5 seconds before the twist is revealed" record. As I said, during the movie I started liking her. Evilness and all. I almost wanted her to get away with it but that little deaf girl was adorable and I knew I had to root for her. There is no way a cute little deaf girl could live and Esther could live at the end of a movie like this. The movie is not without faults. The fiorst is that somehow Esther is not in trouble for pushing a girl off the jungle gym. The girl breaks her leg and tells people she was pushed by Esther but nothing happens. I am fairly certain that wouldn't happen. You can't be accused of pushing someone off the jungle gym and then just get out of it. Most of the plot relies on the disfunction of the family to allow for nobody to trust each other. If you think too much about that part this story gets a litle far fetched but don't think; just watch.

The nicest thing about seeing Orphan was the walk to the train. I decided to stop into Powell's on the way. I picked up a book and sat to read a little bit of it. I was not the only person reading over there and I was thinking I might stay. Suddenly a couple came in. I would say they were older then I am and probably older then my older siblings as well. The woman was talking really loudly and they sat right next to me. They both took out laptops and she kept yapping the entire time. I was annoyed by this because there is another side that has more tables and computers already set up. It seemed like they should have sat there as that seemed more of a place to do it at. I was feeling annoyed by her non-stop yappiness so I kept making eye contact with her, in an effort to shame her, but she kept talking. I have begun to wonder if people can be shamed anymore.... The worst part was her partner was not listening to her and she was not on a phone. This guy wasn't even humoring her with an occasional "mm-hmm" but she kept talking. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and left. As I walked the remaining blocks to the train stop I envisioned having Esther around to kill her off. It was very satisyfying.

Anyway I am back on a budget tomorrow.

Get off your high horse!

2009-08-02T01:18:00.000-07:00

What is it, exactly, that makes people feel they need to give someone "a dose of reality"? How does this "reality" benefit the recipient? How does it benefit the "soothsayer"? Is your harsh slap of "reality" really preparing me for anything? Wait, let me boil this down to my "essential questions"?

1. Is your "dose of reality" needed?
2. Who made you the reality police, you classless hack?

If you feel like you walked in somewhere near the middle of this rant, you probably did. I should probably take a few steps back. As a lot of my readers know, I am in school to become a teacher. When I get done I will have earned a Masters in Education. I have confessed in recent weeks that I am done. That is, done with enjoying school or deluding myself into thinking I can learn something from it. That is the state of my mind as you read this post. You may want to use that knowledge as a filter.

Class started normally today. My team got together an hour and a half before class and brought our unit together. We were as ready to present as we ever are. We tend to go up there and wing it. Perhaps it isn't the best strategy but it is our favorite strategy for these monotonous and never ending presentations. I used to try to be funny and entertaining but lately I have changed my approach. My new approach is to give the bare minimum as quickly as I can. The humor and entertaining kept biting me in the butt. My classmates were more interested in focusing on their presentations and the teachers never seem to get my humor. We gave our presentation first today. I mention this for a few reasons and one of them is that we usually don't go first.

Another reason I mention it is because I am telling a story and order is important in a story.

We did our presentation and had a few interruptions and random questions from the teacher but we don't care. We don't care as a group. We just want the class to be over and receive a passing grade. All the other details (like if they thought we should add something, be more clear or if I need to dance during delivery) are just that.... details. The details were only mildly interesting to me today because I know I will see this teacher again for the next class. My next 6 week class (starting next week) has him leading the charge again. I was paying a little attention so if I have a lesson plan to create I can meet his expectations. That whole issue, of meeting the teacher's expectations, is where this story goes South. Maybe I should back up a little bit.

The University of Phoenix uses teachers and principals to teach the classes. On one hand that is a good thing. The teacher is dealing with the real world in a classroom setting while they are also teaching us. Which means it is not some fossilized professor who last taught in public schools somewhere around 1910. For a lot of the class discussions this current experience can be handy. Of course most people have two hands and this issue has two hands. On the terrible, devil worshipping hand we have the people who seem to need to introduce us to reality. These people go out of their way to tell you how hard the teaching world is and how we need to be "aware" of that before we start teaching. Another favorite reminder of these teachers is that most new teachers burn out within 4 years. It is almost like they are trying to reduce the number from 4 years to teachers burning out in the 3 months prior to actually teaching. This teacher was of the latter variety (the devil worshipping evil hand variety).

So here we are back in the classroom, the second group starts presenting and he makes a few points. You know by stopping them and telling us what we are doing wrong as a group based off of their examples. I am only half listening and if I could have put in ear phones to drown out that half I would have. One of his little soap box topics is "Differentiated Instruction". A buzz word that basically means realizing there are more then one level of student in class and your instruction needs to engage them all. So you need to show how you would change this lesson up enough so that it comes across to the learning disabled, non-English speaking students, and the super brainy kids. What the teacher seemed to be trying to say was that we should build differentiation into the lesson automatically and forget about showing how we will target certain issues. We, as a group, had been trying to envision how we would help the groups individually. Let me give an example:

What we were doing - We have a lesson about writing a book report. We lay out the lesson and then we try and figure out what to do for the learning disabled and we would write that idea down. Then we would think of the brainy kid and come up with something for him. So basically we were making little custom lessons.

What he was trying to explain to us: Say we are going to be focusing on writing again. He pulls a set of articles on a similar topic that are written at various levels. What the student does is takes the article reads it and responds in an essay form to it. Everyone is writing an essay about an article they read but instead of focusing on one article we find several and hand them out to the various levels. Instead of building the lesson and then considering the special cases, we start by building the lesson to incoporate a variety of levels (instead of one article we select 10) and then use these levels to properly challenge the various students. This idea makes sense. It makes more sense then the hard way we have been doing it for a year and a half.

Unfortunately it took another hour and a half for him to explain what he was talking about in a manner that made sense.

Let's get back to the story. So here we are listening to his inane rambling about differentiated instruction. What he was saying sounded like this: "You guys are doing this wrong!" The way he was talking struck a nerve with a classmate and she began demanding to know what exactly we were surprised to do about it. First off, this is a PE and Health class and differentiating for a super smart kid makes no freaking sense. You see we were "differentiating" the way we were taught in the beginning (making a lesson and then considering 3 very concrete yet extremely generic variations) and that was not what he wanted. As she was demanding answers it quickly escalated into an argument. He kept saying what he said originally and that was not answering the question she was asking; which was frustrating her. The problem of course was we were all trying to do what we had been shown in previous classes and he had a completely different lesson plan playbook in mind. This "discussion" took an hour. Somewhere very near the end it devolved into her no longer speaking and him telling her to get over it. It ended with her crying and my friend Cat telling him he hurt that person's feelings and he should try saying things more positively and less aggressively. His response was that he was being realistic and he didn't care. All in all, it was an awesome display of teaching.

So this major "to do" got me thinking. I figure part of the issue with the stress caused by lesson plans is that the University of Phoenix does not have a universally taught lesson plan. Every teacher sees the lesson plan components differently and every lesson plan constructed for a new teacher is a risky venture. Especially lately, when we have been flayed open and roasted. Add to this the somewhat flippant remarks by this teacher and you get someone harboring a little irritation. His comments ignited the kindling aka irritation) she had stored up after reading his earlier comments on her prior work. Should she have sat on her feelings and let it fester into what happened today? No, she should have emailed him the first time his remarks irritated her. Hindsight and a sense of detachment are easy to do when you barely register the comments anymore; meaning it is easy for me to say. Of course everyone has a breaking point and I am thinking she had reached it but had originally planned to just get this class behind her when that kindling was ignited. It was sudden, fierce and a little scary but it should have been over within 2 minutes if a sane person had responded to her. Of course that was not what happened.

The fact that every teacher has a different idea of what our lesson plans should look like has been a pet peeve of everyone in class for a long time. Why the school couldn't just pick one and tell the teachers it is the one they need to use with us is a good question. To this teacher the answer is that the school systems are different and adaptability is important. Which is all fine and good if we were going out and learning in several different school districts but we aren't; we are attending one univesity. Why the freaking university can't pick the most current model and make everyone follow it is not answered by saying "The teaching world is filled with differing ideas." The fact of the matter is that when we go to work somewhere we probably won't make lesson plans like this again but spouting off this fact does not prevent them from shoveling this load of manure down my throat. My question becomes how using "reality" is a valid argument when their "reality" is not actually reality? For purely hypothetical reasons, say that we do file our own original lesson plans with our future principal. Would that principal really change his style every 4 weeks? Would they have completely different (and some what conflicting) ideas everytime I passed their office? I think we all know that the answer is no. So not having a universal lesson plan model is just creating problems and stress for the student.

Of course, then we have the teacher. Comments like "Seriously!" should not come out of your mouth as a response to anything when you are teaching. No matter how old they are or how close to graduation they are. It is condescending, rude and will put people on the defensive. If you feel your message needs to be heard then don't offend people. You are talking to a group of people who aren't teaching yet and we are basing all our knowledge on what we have been told in the f***ing school you work for. So responding condescendingly, about what I don't know about teaching, only makes you look like an ass. Once again, looking like an ass is not helping us to understand your point. The other thing that is not helpful is to get more obtuse the longer the argument goes on. Repeating yourself continuously and then throwing in non-relevant arguments is not how an intelligent person explains their point. The answer to "How do I differentiate anything if everything I do is wrong?" has nothing to do with teacher burnout, proper spelling or whether the teaching world is easy. What was said was very unclear and unhelpful; if truth be told it was actually mean spirited and pointless. It wasn't until the end of class that he said anything that made sense. I understand needing to back up, put the conversation on hold and collect your thoughts to make better sense of your point. Especially when an entire room is getting up in arms about what you are saying. That issue of needing a moment or two is something I run into when I am talking to someone about something I believe in strongly. I would be amazed if she took in any of the comments after that "discussion". I am admitting that I think his ideas on showing differentiation in my future lesson plans helped me understand the point and intent behind it. I think it was good advice but the delivery was all wrong.

Then there is the issue of people feeling it is their purpose to inject me with a "dose of reality". Look.... I am not 19. I have been in the real world and I know that nothing is as easy as it seems. I understand that more work is done by a school teacher in the first hour of school then anything that happens in an entire day answering phones for an insurance company. You telling me about how much everything sucks will not help me. First of all, I need to go out and learn for myself. I will never just take some random person's word for something I have invested this much time and money into. This is also not taking into consideration the fact that I have grown up surrounded by teachers. I have heard them "talk shop" my whole life. Nothing you say to me about the hard parts of the job are going to be something I haven't heard before. If anything I should probably be questioning you on what you know about the issues of working outside of education. I don't have some Candyland version of teaching floating around in my head. I understand that it will be hard and challenging every single day. I understand the first couple years will be a lot of work as I develop my style and start cataloging my lesson plan ideas. The mere fact that you think we need "the real scoop" from you is amazing. What are your words of doom and gloom going to do for me? Nothing because I still plan on graduating. I have put too much money and time into walk away at this point. If I do burn out in four years then that is what happens and nothing you say about "reality" a month before student teaching is changing that.

I would like to end this post with a quote from Wedding Crashers. In the beginning of that movie, Rebecca De Mornay is heatedly discussing divorce issues with her husband when she utters a very apt phrase: "You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!"

Hot enough for ya?

2009-07-30T20:37:00.000-07:00

If you glimpsed the temperatures in the Northwest corner of the US you may have seen that we broke 100 degrees several days in a row. It was hot and a good majority of us do not have air conditioning. So we all went to the movies (those with a few bucks), the mall, and the library. Every place that offered a spot to sit in the air conditioning was packed and not until they closed their doors did we head home to face our homes from Hades. I have been unable to get a good night of sleep because of the heat. It was suffocating and no amount of fans could cool off my apartment. I am letting you know this for a reason. I am building toward a point.... really!

It was unbelievably hot and miserable this entire week. I spent a lot of my evening lounging around in boxer shorts. It was too hot! Of course when the heat started really putting out the waves aroud mid morning, I would shower (in an attempt to wash the sheen of sweat off) and head to a place away from my apartment. A place with air conditioning. I was doing all I could do to stay cool. Except for walking around town with my shirt off. I get it.... it is not against the law for men to be topless. So walking around shirtless is not illegal. No man will go to jail or even receive a ticket for taking off their shirt. But does that make this ok?

I am thinking no. I am not standing on a soapbox saying that the fact that women can't do this makes it unfair. I am not saying that topless women should flood the streets and overturn an unjust rule. Sure, there are quite a few women I would love to watch run around topless when ever they wished. I think that topless women can be an awesome thing. Of course the drawback is that you would have the problem of the not so attractive people flopping out the goods. The reality is that 3/4 of the women I saw today should stay clothed. Even this is not the reason I am against males going shirtless. I am not irritated by the inequality of the sexes when it comes to toplessness. If you think about it the whole tabooo-ness of topless women is what drives sales of some adult magazines and gets tips at the topless bars. The balancing of the topless scales would eliminate thousands if not millions of revenue for people. We wouldn't want that to happen. A stripper has to eat too!

So what is the reason? I mentioned the 3/4 of non-appealing ladies when I nixed the topless ladies idea. Well men have the same issue but if you ask me the scales are tipped more substantially against men. I am not even talking about my own sexual tastes here. I can admit their are some dudes that look specifically designed to keep their shirt off. I would like to add that I do not see myself in this subset. It's the people who are in the 7/8ths of the male population, the ones that should remain clothed in public places, that insist on walking around sans shirt. So right here I am making a stand against topless men and here is my rallying cry: I do not want to see you half naked on the city streets.

My feeling is that if a person is near a beach, lake, river, pool, in a park soaking in rays, or in and around their home they are more then welcome to be shirtless. In fact I say this about both sexes, attractive or unattractive, old or young, toothpick or beached whale. Go shirtless, if you want, in the places I have described. I am talking about the context of the toplessness; it is an important detail. Leaving the context out of your shirtlessness is like deciding you don't really need an engine in your car. So please America, put your shirts back on. Nobody wants to see your beer belly, your fur-like covering of hair, your weird tan lines, the innie or outie belly button, or your deformed nipple. Put your shirt back on before you wait for the bus. Put your shirt back on before you go to the grocery store. Put your shirt back on when you ride the Max trains. Put your shirt back on when you are 80 years old and sitting outside your nursing home. Put your shirt back on anytime you leave the safe zones I have described.

Thoughts on "Who killed the electric car?"

2009-07-27T14:55:00.000-07:00

I just got done watching Who Killed the Electric Car?

I enjoyed watching this little documentary and found out a lot about a car I do not remember hearing about. They basically decide everybody involved on all sides are at fault for not having the electric car "widely" available today. The car companies for fighting so hard to have it fail while at the same time paying lip service to the lack of interest on a car they completely fail to properly market. The oil companies because we all know people making billions don't want to make less money and that all oil execs are basically vampires. Then the government and their evil plot to keep us from anything not oil related. Then the consumer who failed to realize the car was perfect for them. I liked the movie but I had some issues with it.

First off I took issue with them finding fault with the consumers of America. I find it hard to believe that people who knew nothing about the existence of the car can be at fault for not buying it. Supposedly it was marketed in California and Arizona but I am not aware of anyone who had one. From what I could tell from the story the car companies made it nearly impossible to get from the electric car waiting list into one of the cars. Which means that if I knew about it I would have run into the issue of being a poor college student. Oh yeah and the small issue of not in the market for a new car. In fact, I still have never owned a new car because they are freaking expensive. So I would have had to wait until the became used cars before it was an economically viable option for me. They never became used cars because the companies leased them and did not sell them to people. When the lease ran out people had to turn them in and most did not have the option to get an extension on the lease. Actually from what I could tel no one was allowed to extend the lease.

Second issue was the description of the car as sexy. The focus of this documentary was GM's ev-1. It had the weird rear wheel that was half covered thing like the first Insight did. The rest of the design was better looking then the Insight was (is?) but I would not attach the word sexy to it. Then there was a lot of talk about the car being fast but they did not really give me an understandable measure of what that meant. They did not use the standard measure of 0 to 60 in whatever seconds so I had to take their word for it. It is one thing to assume that I am interested in electric cars and there by have an issue with the oil companies. I don't like paying for gas and my car has broken down enough to seriously burn the idea of ever enjoying driving a car again. So that is a belief I can allow them to assume. I can not allow them to assume I will believe that a car was "fast" without any real data to back that up. It is a line too far out there for me.

Next down the list is getting 60 to 120 miles per charge. They are right, most of my driving would comfortably fit between these estimates. I don't go near 120 miles in one day on a normal day. However, what do I do if I want to visit my dad's? His house is almost 200 miles away. What would happen to me in that situation? Assuming we had built a recharging station, how long would a recharge take? And yes the answer does matter. Say that somehow I got the car when I was in college... when these things first came out. I would not make it from Flagstaff to Phoenix.... ever. My first job after college was probably 60 miles round trip.... was I expected to recharge at work? I can imagine that going over well. Basically that leaves me with a couple options for making a trip of 200 miles I rent a gas fueled car, I ride the bus (shudder), I take the train (which seems kinda nice), or I sit at a refueling station that might exist for an unspecified amount of time while I recharge. I guess I could own two cars.... how about that for the ol' pocketbook. A car for distance trips and my "getting around town" electric car. So no matter what they say the limited range is an issue. Maybe not the insurmountable obstacle that some people think it is but definitely an issue.

Then we get into the big business issues. This is a weird country where making money is desired unless it is too much money. Yes Big Oil is bending us over the gasoline table and they will continue to do so as long as they can. We are capitalists; deal with it. The thing that isn't fair is when the government fails to help parties interested in competing with the monopoly. Make no mistake that Big Oil is a monopoly; there might be a handful of companies but they definitely work together to keep their profits rising. The actions of the federal government to stop the California Zero Emission policy was wrong. We have had to force auto makers to change how cars were made for every advancement. Seat belts, air bags, miles per gallon and emissions standards. So California was doing what needed to be done. Of course when push came to shove they buckled but you try not giving in when the US government, Big Oil and major car companies are breathing down your neck. Especially when 2 of the 3 help you get elected to office.

The car companies. What can be said besides "OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS ARE STUPID!!!!" I think the last few years have shown how this is only one story where they shot themselves in the foot. The American car companies are doing their best to kill themselves from what I can tell. Good job guys! Of course this movie pointed out that the foreign companies followed GM's lead in destroying their electric vehicles as well. Even though they have more hybrid options they aren't doing as much as they can. The funny thing is if the big 3 had started working on better fuel economy as they were scrapping the electric vehicle they might have been doing better. The cars I have looked at in the past that were American car companies hybrids have been barely better then the regular cars. How about upping the fuel economy in a completely gas run car? Who does that hurt? I guess the oil companies.... but not completely as we would still be buying gas. It's not like they don't keep screwing us over all the time anyway whose to say they couldn't do so even with better fuel economy. What if gas prices stayed at 4 or 5 bucks per gallon but I was getting 50 to 60 miles to the gallon? I would be happier and I would know that even though the cost to fill up was more I could go twice as far per tank. Add value to the product. Instead the bigwigs at GM decided let's put our money into a car that is lucky to get 8 miles to the gallon... Go Hummers! Here is a good example of the consumer being retarded. The Hummer is such a retarded status symbol!

Anyway the movie was interesting and entertaining and thought provoking; even if it seemed to side step some of the issues and show them as not being worth discussing. I would have liked more technical facts and less wealthy people telling me how ultimately orgasmic their experience with the ev-1 was. I got the point very quickly that people who had the car loved the car. I did not need to have them beat that into my head.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: A Rambling Review

2009-07-22T06:50:00.000-07:00

I would be remiss if I failed to review the biggest movie of the summer. Especially considering I saw it this last weekend. You know..... my drunken all nighter weekend. ;)

Let it be said that I was ready for this movie. As ready as almost any Potter dork could be. I rewatched all 5 of the previous movies. I went out and purchased the 6th book and reread it. Then when that was done I reread the 7th book. Just for good measure. When the movie came out I was totally ready to see it and it was excruciating not to see it on opening day. It was excruciating even knowing that I only had 40 dollars to my name. I had long ago decided to wait until I could see it with my dad and nephew Ricky. So I made myself wait..... Was the movie worth it?

Yes, the movie was worth it. It was not completelty like the book though. Before you pull out your soap box and lecture me about the difficultes of literally translating a 652 page book into a 2 and a half hour movie just hear me out. The begining of the book has the real world British Prime Minister getting a visit from the Minister of Magic. This did not happen in the movie and although I can see easily why this was cut (the British Prime Minister does not help the plot nor does he reappear later) I was still bummed that it didn't happen. I like the book beginning with how the return of an evil wizard has affected the non-magic world. You do see that the magical war is affecting the muggles (what magicals call non-magicals) in the movie but that part of the book was rather amusing. Of course it would probably have been too difficult to pull off because she writes it through the mind of the muggle Prime Minister. So they probably made a good cut to keep the movie flowing. They deviated from the story a little bit in other ways as well and I have decided to discuss a few of them.

Warning! Between the two bolded small paragraphs is an italicized section where I discuss points of the movie. I certainly will be discussing the ending in this area. If you have managed to go this long and are (somehow) unaware of the ending of the book/movie 6 please avoid this section. If you are in the other camp and have read the book and want to watch the movie with out my take on the ending then do not read this section either. After the next bold paragraph will be the review minus the overly revealing plot points.

Harry is distraught at the end of book/movie 5. His godfather is dead and Harry had a small role in bringing Sirius to the ministry where he would eventually be killed. His dreams of a family life and someone who could be like a father to him are over and so we join him at the beginning of book 6 hiding out in his room at the Dursleys. The room is a mess and you get the feeling he has not been out of it often that summer. Dumbledore has warned Harry he would be by to pick him up and escort him to the Burrow (the Weasley's domicile). For whatever reason Harry has taken no precaution to be in any state of readiness for this visit. He has not let his Uncle know and he hasn't packed. It seems we are supposed to realize that the broken promise of a life with Sirius has kind of made him doubt the adults around him. In the movie we find Harry sitting in a coffee shop in the London underground. He is reading the Daily Prophet (with the usually moving pictures) and ends up setting a meeting with a pretty cute waitress. Instead of going on a date that evening Dumbledore arrives and whisks him away to get Slughorn. If you ask me this was a better take on Harry Potter's personality. As far as I am concerned he must feel he has nothing left to lose. A prophecy saying it is he or Voldemort dying as an end to this feud and he death of Sirius would definitey prompt him to start taking risks. So here he is wandering the world that he can't do magic in and reading a magical newspaper. He is acting like someone who has faced and lived through Voldemort's attacks 5 times (at the age of 1, 11, 12, 14, and 15). He went from hero to villain to the chosen one. His life in the magical world has been difficult, challenging, fun and heartbreaking. Even then when he gets back to muggleville he waits feverishly for summer to end and school to resume. It only seems natural that he would be taking a few risks and finding ways to make it a passable summer; one in which he can tempoarily forget the loss of another person.

The next change is that the Hagrid storyline is barely there. In the book, Hagrid is bummed that Hermione, Ron and Harry did not sign up for his care of magical creatures class. Of course most of the last few movies have kind of cut a lot of Hagrid's role. I was perfectly fine with them doing this to tell you the truth as I found the note about Aragog's funeral to be ridiculous. I just couldn't see Hagrid wanting his favorite people risking expulsion to bury a dead spider, no matter how deluded he was about Aragog's personality. Once again the movie gets a silly storyline elimination right. Harry does get the confession from Slughorn after Aragog's funeral but it all comes down to a whim caused by the luck potion he drinks.

Then there is Christmas. In the movie there is a fight outside of the Weasleys' home and the destruction of the burrow. This did not happen in the book. I liked it because I needed a little action at this point and this provided it. Plus I love Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange and I figure more of her taunting is definitely ok. Of course their is no answered questions about how this destruction will affect the 7th movie. It is a safe place in all the books (including the 6th book) and it does not fall under attack until the beginning of the 7th book. So one must wonder what happened directly after the fire and how this loss was resolved. It certainly shatters any delusions of a safe haven for Harry.

They cut out the new minister of magic's appearance and his attempt to woo Harry to his side. I liked this part of the story but I can see cutting it. JK Rowling lays the groundwork here and has this battle of wills a few times in the book only to get rid of him early in the 7th book. He was a character that was not necessary to the plot besides drilling the fact in about how loyal Harry is to Dumbledore. Of course her treatment of how Harry handles the task given to him by Dumbledore (getting Slughorn's secret) sends an opposite message. It says he is all talk and little action. Luckily they treated him digging for the secret differently in this movie. He is watching Malfoy but not as obsessively as in the book and no one is yelling at him to stop neglecting his duty to Dumbledore. That part of the book irritated me and I was glad it was eliminated. Instead, Dumbledore reveals the task much later and after the failed attempt Harry can't get a minute with Slughorn until the trip to Hagrid's. You never get the feeling he isn't trying.

Let's skip to the ending. They played this one completely different. During the book's ending Harry arrives with a weakened Dumbledore to find a dark mark above the school. They get to the tower and Harry is under the invisibility cloak and gets a petrification curse to keep him from interfering at all. Everything happens in front of his eyes but there is no way for him to change anything. The curse is lifted only when Dumbledore dies and then he is running after the Death Eaters through a battlefield of the Order, the DA and more Death Eaters. People know they are under attack and he is running past them screaming at Snape. It was an intense scene and I was amazed that they would completely change it. This time I think the movie makes a mistake. First off in the movie Harry is unfettered by a petrification curse and is not under an invisibility cloak. He is hiding below watching when Snape comes up and shows him the universal "be quiet" gesture (the finger to the lips). Harry puts his trust into Snape; something he has never done in any of the previous movies or books and watches him kill Dumbledore. Then there is no battle raging on, the death mark is only cast after Dumbledore is killed, no one is roaming the halls and the handful of Death Eaters are cackling and breaking goblets in the feast room. Harry does not catch up to them until the field outside of Hagrid's hut. If he wasn't frozen in place what was he doing all that time? He was up and watching it happen not stuck watching something happen without being able to move. It seems to me they changed the dynamic here. Harry should have gotten at least one of the Death Eaters in this altered ending. Plus with the lack of a battle going on how did anyone know to come out to see the body? The battle happened outside and it wasn't much of one. I felt like the final betrayal of Snape in the 6th book was poignant but in the 6th movie it seemed lacking. In the book, Dumbledore is not even able to stand when Snape comes in and kills him. It seems much more like Dumbledore is pleading for help. In the movie it seems like Dumbledore is finishing the argument he and Snape had before the night began. Which in fact is what it was but we have no inkling of that until the end of book 7. Dumbledore looked too confident and in control; evena s he recieves te killing curse. It was way more of an Obi-Wan Kenobi sacrificial ending then an old man defeated. I also missed the chaos of battle that Harry runs through to catch up while attempting to kill Snape. That allowed us to know why it took him so long to catch up. He was ducking killing curses and it had taken a moment to realize he was no longer paralyzed. I also felt that this movie needed a battle at the end as the action was lacking a bit. The various supporting characters really needed to be ready for a fight and then have the blow of losing Dumbledore to properly set the stage for the 7th movie's opening feel. It is always best to end at as low of a point as possible. Instead they seem to been caught unaware and that seems silly. I think having most of the order of the Phoenix, the aurors and a few of the DA roaming the halls trying to protect the school and failing is a better way to set up the impossibility of the task set forth in the 7th book. Instead a small group of people sneak in and kill the main dude in charge and then walk brazenly out the front door unmolested. It was insulting!

They also left a lot of the silliness of the Gryffindor quidditch team tryouts out and just left in Cormac and Ron's face off. I was sad to not see the inanity of kids from other houses coming out to try out with the whole school looking on. Of course, once again, I can see why they did that; it wasn't really necessary for the plot.

They cut out the crazy making out of Harry and Ginny and kept it as just a little kiss here and there. They also left out Harry telling her at the end he is too busy to be in a relationship with her and the whole "it's too dangerous" crap. I liked them leaving it out a little better because I saw it as silly.

And finally.... Harry only uses the invisibility cloak once in this movie which was a little weird. Instead he seems to have inherited a great streak of luck to avoid being caught and the ability to go undetected whenever he decides to.

The review will now go back to being ending obscure.....

The movie begins amidst a troubled time for the world; for magic and non-magic citizens alike. The Death Eaters are active and running amuck and people are afraid regardless if they know what is going on. Of course being a kid you still have to go to school and Harry finds himself back at Hogwarts. Probably one of the few kids who has ever continually looked forward to the start of school. We are introduced to a goofy new character almost immediately, a Professor Slughorn. Slughorn has a key role to play in the movie, the unlocking of secrets, and it falls on Harry's shoulders to make it happen. Except that there is more going on then Slughorn. Snape gets promoted to the Defense Against the Dark Arts post much to the displeasure of most of the students and he seems to be up to something. He makes an unbreakable vow to help Draco Malfoy out in completing a dangerous task he has been given by Voldemort. Harry sees Draco up to no good in Knockturn Alley and decides he must be a Death Eater even though no one believes him. Harry is spending time with Dumbledore learning the secrets of Voldemort's past in adition to his classes. There is a lot going on for Harry this year and yet we haven't even touched on the mystery of who the Half Blood Prince is. The only clue is an inscription in Harry's used Potions book that says "Property of the Half Blood Prince". Is this mysterious person good or bad. Is his help really something Harry should follow so blindly?

The movie is an interestingly dark story and holds true to the spirit of the book if not to the exact letter. Harry is dealing with more and more pressures as his world has once again changed. No longer the outcast he became in the 5th movie after the Daily Prophet's lies about him fabricating the return of Voldemort. He is now being touted as the 'chosen one' and the world is eager to have a piece of him. At the same time he is being asked, by Dumbledore, to be more active in his duties and is meeting with him regularly. He is trying to butter up Professor Slughorn while keeping an eye on Draco, questioning Snape's loyalty, not being believed when he shares his fears about Draco and Snape, captaining the quidditch team, handling his course load, playing intermediary between friends and pining for Ginny (Ron's sister). There is a lot on his plate and the movie does a good job of showing that but not beating us over the head with it. There are some differences between the movie and the book and some are good and only one is completely bad but over all I recommend this movie. Go out and see it today.

Seriously!

2009-07-21T15:21:00.000-07:00

I should have known my confession of a 5 AM beer would raise concern..... Maybe I am naive. Or maybe I believe that writers have certain privileges. You know like writers can explore the darker side of thoughts and feelings without the suicide hotline being called on to make a house call. I didn't know they made house calls until I wrote that blog. Another thing I think falls under writers' privilege is the ability to exaggerate. For example the whole sentence about the suicide hotline people making a house call. Or the whole drinking all night thing. Let me tell the real story.

I definitely had been up all night but in reality my drinking started at dinner at 10PM. I had a glass of wine with my salmon.

Then I decided to switch to beer but I was watching anime and wanted to wait until the episode was over. When it was over I started another episode, forgetting about the beer, and when that episode was over I remembered the beer.... it was a little after midnight at this point. I drank the beer while watching another couple shows and I decided to have another. The beer I had just drank was the last one of it's kind and I had a decision to make. This time I decided to have a half and half (a beer that is half Harps and half Guinness). I poured the beer so that the guiness hung nicely over the Harps and put the slightly over half full bottles back in the fridge and went back to watching shows online.

When I finished the mixture I relaxed for a while. In fact I forgot all about the beers in the fridge and I was drinking a peach tea. I have the little packets you can buy and pour into a bottle of water. They are less calories then soda (or the previously mentioned alcoholic beverages) and they provide a little variety in my drink choices. I get bored only drinking water so I have bought these hoping they would stem my craving for soda. It works mainly because I have no soda in my house and no available money to waste on soda. Either way by the time I finished that tea it was nearly 4 am. I was almost finished watching this anime series; just two more episodes left. I was hungry and had not eaten in 6 hours so I went to the fridge to reheat the side dish I had eaten with the salmon, black beans and rice. I saw the two open bottles and felt that I should finish them off. So I heated up the rice and beans and poured the mixture and admired the beauty that is a Half and Half. Unfortunately there was still a little left in each bottle.... the glass I was using must not hold 16 ounces.

I went back and watched another episode and then decided to tell about my week. It had been a week from holy Heck and I wanted to get some stress off my back. I find that I tend to write pretty well in the blog window. For some odd reason I can just write and write without really running out of things to say. It is the reason the stories pop up from time to time. I dont usually write as much in my notebooks and I run into a writer's block scenario when I see a large blank Word document. Something about the little blog post box makes me write.

I poured the last little bit of each bottle into the glass and sat down to write that update. I decided to make an issue of the time and the beverage in my hands. It made it fun....

Later that day, after sleeping for a few hours, I was headed to my dad's house. I got a distressed call from my mother.... the blog had worried her. When I got online I had a couple readers email me to see if I was alright. Apparently I had struck the "OH NO!!!" chord with that blog. I reread it before I posted it at 5:30 AM and felt proud. The blog had made me chuckle and I felt better just having confessed my concerns. I decided to post the entry because I really thought it was a good entry. I may have a weird sense of what is good.... but don't worry I have no intentions of doing any harm to myself. I have thought of storming government facilities and unleashing a computer virus that would reroute all the bailout money to the people and away from companies that suck. I have thought about flying to Phoenix and using a chainsaw to cutdown the traffic camera that took my picture and dispose of it in places that might be highly uncomfortable for those responsible for instituting trafic cams. I have even thought about reinventing Robin Hood and his band of malcontents... which would include a few hackers, bank robbers, some bashers, that guy who wrote that program that stole tenths of pennies from all business transactions, maybe a few wizards (according to the Potter movie Harry Potter dropped out of school, he could help), Tyler Durden, and maybe those monsters from Where the Wild Things Are. Of course I won't do any of this stuff; I will merely daydream about it. But I will do is exaggerate my alcohol intake and write blogs where I whine a lot. :)

Because I haven't written in a while

2009-07-18T05:27:00.000-07:00

Why, at 5 AM, I am sitting here drinking is a question I can't answer. I didn't mean to spend the night and early hours drinking but it happened anyway. I would love to apologize for this violation of adult responsibilities and observance of proper drinking hours. I would love to say that I was sorry or sickened by my actions but at the same time I am trying not to tell lies... like George Washington (minus the fictitional cherry tree). What I am saying is that I do not have any contrite words to partner with my actions. Hold on...

Had to take a quick drink.

Much better.

Anyway it is 5 in the morning and I am finishing my (possibly) last drink. To be fair I started late in the evening and I have been feeling a little stressed. The money situation I find myself in would be better drowned in a constant flow of alcohol but I lack that kind of money. You see the government is not paying unemployment wages because going to school twice a month might mean I am unable to take a job. How twice a month means I am being impossible and hard to deal with is beyond my mental capacity.... Hold on.... Just a quick sip.... Ahhhh.

Oh and the school is taking their sweet time, getting their ducks in a row, when they should be sending some financial aid my way. To add to my constant state of worry I woke up at 7 AM because I recieved a text message from my cellular service letting me know I had a new bill waiting for me. This rude awakening helped me see my crisis a little clearer (holy crap.... I have bills!) and as a result the house of cards that I had taken refuge behind was tipped over. I came face to face with the full spectrum of my money woes. My heart started racing, even as I tried to fall back asleep, and I could not calm down. This was how I greeted the day and the urge to rob a bank has not left me since.

I originally thought that a glass of wine would calm my nerves and send me into dream land. As of yet the fierce "hamster ball" like workings of my mind continue to roll on. Not even when I switched to beer did it stop. My mind is in panic overdive. So I wrote this little note to let you know where my head is at. I also wrote this note to get some of the stress and worry out of my system. And of course I wrote this note because I hadn't written in a while......

The Unlikely Disciple - A Rambling Review

2009-07-06T17:35:00.000-07:00

I recently picked up an unlikely book at Barnes and Noble and read a 3rd of it before they closed. It was an unlikely book because it does not fall easily into my usual choices. It was a real story written by a young journalist hopeful. There are no wizards, vampires, zombies or epic sword fights. Instead there is one person's journey into an unknown and bizarre world. The world of the Evangelist college student, a place where few non-Evangelists enter. Anyway I read a third of it before Barnes and Noble announced that the impending closing time had arrived. Fueled by impulse, I walked the book to the counter and bought it. That way I could bring you my rambling review of The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University by Kevin Roose.

Kevin Roose is still in college, at least he was when this book was published. He was a senior at Brown. At the beginning of the book he is attending Browne as well but had been captivated by Liberty University on an excursion with his employer. His employer, A.J. Jacobs, wrote the book The Year of Living Biblically and had taken Kevin along to Jerry Falwell's church Thomas Road. At Thomas Road he had an awkward conversation with a couple college aged church goers. They were attending Liberty University and by extension attended Thomas Road church every Sunday. Liberty University was started by Reverend Jerry Falwell and Thomas Road is on one end of the campus making for easy access. The school has a strict set of rules built around keeping the students from the evils of secular colleges (you know... all the fun stuff). The more Kevin reflected on his awkward conversation the more he began to be interested in the vast divide between Evangelists and most of American society. Suddenly he felt the urge to experience Liberty first hand and enrolls in the school. He had to pave the way for this move with Brown University, his Quaker parents and a group of family and friends that think he might be making the biggest mistake of his life.

Luckily for us, Kevin eventually got everything set up to go to Liberty for a semester. He decided that he needed to be undercover for the assignment to work and he concocted a story about recently becoming an Evangelist. With the help of a friend, who had been raised in an Evangelist household, he prepped as much as possible for his adventure. It was a good thing he had thought about it ahead of time because almost immediately people asked about his religious beliefs and if he had been saved. Expecting the worst stereotypes to be made flesh, Kevin is surprised at the warm welcome he receives. He actively pursues the lifestyle he is trying to investigate. In doing so, he says yes to prayer groups, bible studies, mentor meetings with a pastor, and even becomes part of the Thomas Road choir. Along the way he makes friends, meets a fun and enticing girl, attends a group for men that encourages them to battle against masturbation, goes to Panama Beach during spring break with a group determined to proselytize to the drunken debaucherous masses and gets the last print interview with Rev. Jerry Falwell.

Of course not all is fun and light at this university. Immediately he runs into homophobic slurs and attitudes. He witnesses a racial divide when a black friend begins dating a white girl. He has a roommate who starts to intensely dislike him; to the point where I began to wonder if he was safe sharing a room with the guy. Worst of all he begins to have severe guilt about lying to all these people he is growing closer to. Not to mention a severely worried family and an intense questioning of his spiritual beliefs. Add all that together and you have a big stress cloud hovering over Kevin.

All of these interesting little twists and turns makes for a good read and Kevin Roose is a great narrator and guide. His introspection and quest for understanding really help you see the complexity of the situation he finds himself in. I definitely recommend this book and can loan it to the next person who asks because I have a copy sitting right next to me.

Michael Jackson - Beat It

2009-06-28T02:44:00.001-07:00

I have a story to go along with this video. In 1982, I was 5 and I loved Michael Jackson. I was such a fan of Michael Jackson that my mom bought me a Michael Jackson t-shirt as part of my going to school bundle. The minute she bought it I was ready to wear it, but as things go when you are 5 things don't always work out how you like. I had to wait until school actually started and then I could wear the new clothes.

Some of you haven't known me long enough to know that I was a shy kid. I tend to get overly antsy and worried before starting something new. So every year I would worry about starting a new class, meeting new class mates and the new teacher. In some respects that hasn't changed. For example, I get extremely nervous about new things until I finally start doing them. Every job I have held I am always convinced, as I head to my first day of work ,that everything is about to go way wrong. The feelings are the same now as it was then. The difference is now I have learned ways to channel the stress.

Getting back to the story. There I was going to school on the first day; wearing my new lucky Michael Jackson shirt. I was very scared that I would be friendless and that my teacher wouldn't like me. I was more then likely clinging tightly to my mom or dad's hand for support (not real clear on who took me because I was 5!). I remember being welcomed to class but still feeling like maybe I ought to go home. Of course when you are 5 going home of your own volition is not an option. If going home had been an option I might have never went to school. Anyway I was directed to sit in my assigned seat and right next to me was a quiet kid named Derrick. Immediately I knew we were destined to be friends.... he was wearing a Michael Jackson shirt too! Even better was his shirt had the words "Beat it!" in a large red font! Boy did I envy that shirt! Amidst all that commonality ,envy, and the excitement of a new friend I forgot all about being nervous.

Michael Jackson - The Way You Make Me Feel

2009-06-28T02:16:00.001-07:00

I was thinking while watchin this... "I wonder if suggestively dance stalking while singing is a good way to pick up girls?" Apparently, according o this video, it is.

I have been watching videos like crazy since Michael Jackson's death. I guess even though I am not really in mourning I am reliving some awesome and fun moments his music brought me. So if another video pops up I am just sharing things that I really liked about his music. I still have mixed feelings about the man behind the music but I can't deny that I have always loved the music and the dancing.

Michael Jackson - Thriller

2009-06-26T11:36:00.001-07:00

Hi all!

Yesterday was a bad day to be a celebrity. Farrah Fawcet dies, Ed McMahon dies and then out of nowhere Michael Jackson dies. I can't say that I am overly sad about any of these people passing away but I felt I needed to share a good Michael Jackson memory. I loved this music video/mini-movie when I was little. I remembered it's premiere. It's too bad Michael Jackson kept getting weirder because he used to be brilliant. R.I.P Michael. Hope you stop having to deal with people being ignorant. I wonder if any of you get the "That's ignorant." reference....

I hope the others rest in peace as well.

Enjoy watching Thriller! It is still super awesome!

3 Rambling Reviews; 1 Blog

2009-06-16T23:47:00.001-07:00

I recently went on a 3-D movie kick. The movie Up and Coraline are both viewable in 3-D and so I went. I figured I would review them tonight. In addition I would like to review a third movie that I saw that was not in 3-d but was very enjoyable. Let's start with Up.

The movie Up spent a great deal of time being slightly depressing. I almost started bawling within the first 20 minutes of the film! The movie is about an old man who set big dreams with his wife but in the course of living a life they never pursued them. The wife passes away and he is left in a world ready to leave him behind. He is the last holdout in a neighborhood that is being developed into some mega-structure. A little thorn in the side of someone dressed in a suit with dreams of making money hand over fist and is building around this old man hoping he can take a hint. In a weird twist the old man ends up being declared a menace to society and is being shipped off to Shady Acres a retirement community that sounds like a cemetery. In a last defiant step the old guy fills his house with balloons and floats his house toward South America. Unfortunately he has a guest a local scout that is determined to earn a 'helping the elderly' badge even though the old man doesn't want his help. Either way they are stuck on this floating house and end up in the South American spot he and his wife dreamed of visiting. Except not exactly. They land on the wrong side of the Plateau and he and the boy scout set off to get to the other side. Along the way the old guy runs into a childhood hero who should be dead or at least way older then the old guy but he isn't because then who would be the villain? The old hero dude is a kook who lives with hundreds of talking dogs. The talking dogs were awesome because the film makers remembered that they were at the base level dogs. They get distracted easily and are really easy to keep happy. Anyway the old hero/crazy guy is looking for a bird that the scout befriended and he is willing to kill to acquire this bird. So an all out race breaks out between the old guy, the scout, the bird, and one dorky misfit dog versus hundreds of dogs and a crazy old guy in a Hindenburg looking blimp. It was quite fun even though it has probably the most bitter sweet and heart breaking beginning. I recommend it, especially in 3-D!

That brings us to Coraline. Coraline is a stop motion animation about a girl who is not entirely happy with her life. Her mom is too busy and her dad is busy and weird. They have recently moved from Detroit to a place in the country and she seems alone. Of course there is a weird neighbor kid and strange apartment neighbors but nobody she wants to be with. I did not really get the sense that she was unhappy but apparently later in the movie it is the basis for all the events that take place. The weird neighbor kid brings an old doll that looks like Coraline and some how that doll is a link between her world and an alternate reality. In the alternate reality the mom is sweet, attentive and quite a cook. The father is a musician... kind of, and a garden virtuoso... kind of. Her weird neighbor friend is not a talker in this world and her strange neighbors are talented performers. It seems perfect except for the creepy button eyes all these alternate characters sport. hey all seem good natured in an evil sort of way and sure enough they are evil. This was a fun 3-D movie. Not a half bad effort by the new studios from the Knight family (Nike people). I liked it but I also didn't. I have seen better stop motion movies but the 3-D bridged the gap. See this in 3-D if at all possible.

So I was sitting here thinking, "Why aren't all movies in 3-D?" The 3-D was amazing and added a lot to these movies. I do not know much about 3-D but I certainly hope they continue to expand it's uses. It was quite a treat. Next up in 3-D land as far as I know is a U2 concert movie. I will check it out and report back on the real world 3-D versus the animation 3-D. Whenever it comes to theaters near me.

I wasn't quite done with the movie kick after seeing Coraline. I wanted to see another movie and take advantage of the Living Room Theater's 5 dollar Tuesday pricing. Coraline was regular price. No... it was more expensive because of the novelty of 3-D. 12 bucks expensive... but so was Up. But in Up I kept the glasses. Anyway I had seen a preview while I was drinking beer and waiting for Coraline to start. It had Steve Zahn, Woody Harrelson, and Jennifer Aniston in it. The movie is called Management. It is a romantic comedy and quite a good one actually. Jennifer Aniston plays a lonely corporate art salesman, named Sue, who is traveling through Kingman, AZ. In Kingman she is a guest of The Kingman Inn a little motel owned by a family. The son Mike, played by Steve Zahn, is instantly interested in Sue. He awkwardly makes his moves and despite herself she indulges him. Apparently feeling this is over and done she is surprised when Mike flies out to Maryland where she lives. Strangely she allows him to hang out for a day before giving him bus fair and sending him back to Kingman. Her work brings her back to Kingman.... conveniently. She hangs with Mike all day and then flies to Seattle. Mike gets his gumption up to try gain and discovers she has moved to Washington to be with her ex-boyfriend Jango. Jango, played by Woody Harrelson, is an ex-Punk....as in Punk rock guy and kind of strange. Mike tries to show her that he is the guy for him but she chooses Jango and his palacial estate, dogs and corporate yogurt franchise. It is weird to see two movies in a week where one character in the movie is obsessed wit dogs and has a lot of them. Anyway the movie is a romantic comedy and I am fairly certain you know the vague idea of what happens next. The movie is cute, funny and sweet. It also scores some great shots of Portland's Japanese Gardens in it that are being used for a Buddhist Monastery. Anyway go see this movie about the little weirdo, stalker, loser guy that could.

Speaking of Buddhist Monks I saw some monks doing a book signing when I was in Powell's between movies. It was strange to then have monks be a part of the Management movie.

Computer, Art and Podcast Plans

2009-06-14T18:04:00.000-07:00

Well the computer and I are barely on speaking terms this week because their is still something wrong and it is crashing. I am not sure what I should do about it though. Just taking it to a specialist to look at and get an estimate of possible repairs cost money. This is a 600 dollar computer so I have a very finite window of what I am willing to pay to repair it. So I have been looking at computers to purchase just to refamiliarize myself with what is out there and the prices of them. Anyway my first course of action would to take this thing in and have them look at it. The problem with that is I need a computer for my schooling and if they don't diagnose immediately I would run into problems waiting for it to be fixed. So do I just buy a cheap laptop to work with and then take this beast in? Should I put this crashing monstrosity aside and get a little better of a computer and seek getting this fixed later on down the road? Should I get a netbook (the mini laptops) and use it for school while this gets fixed? I could probably get a cheap laptop for 400 bucks or a cheap netbook for 250 to 300 bucks. Then I have a little bit of money to get this thing looked at. Of course if I spent 700 bucks I could get a pretty decent computer with better features and specs. These are the things running through my head.

Besides the computer dilemmas I have been working on my latest class. It is about teaching art to elementary and middle school kids. This week our assignments were to create a resources list and to critique a work of art. I chose The Suicide of Dorothy Hale by Frida Kahlo for my art critique. I am not sure if you have ever seen that painting but it is spectacularly gruesome. Dorothy Hale, a friend of Frida, committed suicide by leaping off the balcony of her skyscraper apartment. She had recently lost her husband and was depressed, she had a going away party, wrote letters to friends, said her goodbyes and then jumped. Frida was commissioned by a mutual friend to paint something in her memory for Dorothy's mother. Frida painted a scene of her death. The painting is a story it shows a small figure jumping, then a larger figure wrapped in clouds going down and finally one laying on the ground dead. Blood is coming from her, a little recap of the events is written in the same color as the blood and there are blood splatters at the base of the painting. It is something I originally saw last summer at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art with my mom and Becky. It was quite a horrific exhibit as Frida Kahlo is a wee bit morbid. That being said I like her artwork and I think this particular painting is extraordinary. It made an impression on me and is one of the ones I always think of when I think of Frida Kahlo. Anyway, the nice thing is I did a lot of art inspired lessons for my last class and I will be able to choose one and refine it for this week's major assignment.

I am working on a new podcast idea in between school and fighting with this computer. I am really hoping this will be a little more fun to listen to. The main thing I am going to try to do is make it real fun for me to do the podcast. If I am enjoying what I am doing I could care less if most people don't. Of course I am hoping that you do. The first podcasts I did were not a lot of fun as I had no idea what to do. I was doing what I do in my occasional updates (like this one) and just telling you what was going on. I am sure these updates are the least favorite blogs I write so why would I make them the crux of a podcast and expect people to listen. So I decided to think about what I wanted from the podcast and what I could do to make them fun. First off I think I have figured out how to get a few interviews. One way I will do this is by getting a digital voice recorder to do some recording in the field. I ordered a Sony online and added a few components to broaden my abilities. The first is a noise canceling microphone I can use if I am doing a solo podcast. Then I added something I can add to a phone to record phone conversations. Of course if I record you I will let you know first that we are recording for a possible podcast. The next major step is I am spending more time thinking my way through the podcast flow. I am writing down questions to ask in interviews and topics to discuss with other people or even to explore by myself. The last portion I am doing is writing some poetry I am planning to turn into a spoken word piece. This will take a little longer then the other things because I have to like the poem and then I have to figure out how to present it. I imagine a lot of revising and recording to get one spoken word poem. I am hoping to have the first revised podcast posted this week. If it goes according to plan it should be an interview. Wish me luck.

Computer Apocalypse

2009-06-10T00:12:00.000-07:00

Well I got back from my trip to Phoenix and was working hard on getting my photos in order. I spent a couple hours sorting them and selecting the best but I hadn't started uploading them to my Flickr page or backed them up on my external hard drive yet. I was running low on battery life (I had taken my computer out with me and had been doing the work at a cafe and had nowhere to plug in), so I closed up and headed home. Unfortunately I had spent a moment too long on it and it went into hibernation mode. I couldn't get it out of hibernation mode. I tried everything I could think of including letting it sit overnight and hopefully work itself out. In the morning I still had a computer in a frozen state, it was still pretending to be going into hibernation mode. I did the only thing I could think of I did a hard shut down. When I went to restart the stupid thing it wouldn't get past the initial Toshiba page. I grabbed the system disc and popped it in and it recommended a reconditioning of the computer. I tried to find a way for it to leave the files alone or for me to boot up save my files and then reformat but it wasn't having it. I lost several months worth of pictures and homework assignments. I am reinstalling programs and searching for authentic passwords to my software. It has been a nightmare. Until a few months ago I was up to date with my backups. Then I would periodically back things up but I had become lazy. It was strange. The entire day I was working outside my house I kept thinking I need to back this crap up. In fact, I was going to do it when I got home but I couldn't get the damn machine booted again. Needless to say I am a little distressed by this recent event. I am thinking I need to figure out how to have something set up to automatically back up as I go. I know it can be done but I don't really know how.

The most irritating thing is the loss of the music from iTunes. They maintain a record of all your purchases but they will not allow you to download again. I find it frustrating to say the least. I will be looking into other providers to find ways around repurchasing the music and I am thinking of future new purchases being cd's again. I am not sure if I will because I hated storing the dang thing... I might just purchase an extra external hard drive just for redundancy. Either way I am irritated enough to be willing to try other vendors. Heck I might even try a zune pass out where you pay a monthly fee and have access to the music. I need to research that a bit more. This is irritating and distressing because of the money involved and the fact that Apple knows what I purchased.

The heartbreaking loss was the pictures and videos I made that are not online somewhere. I don't even know what to say about it....

Oh well... lesson learned. Remember to back your crap up.

The least distressing thing is the school work as I have most of it already backed up. The majority of what I lost I could still access as the last class I took was still accessible. Thank goodness.

Impending Doom or am I just paranoid?

2009-05-30T10:45:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get that feeling that the work you put into something will backfire? I have this vague foreboding sense that the unit I have spent 2 weeks crafting will not be received so well. Like maybe I have some stuff missing or it isn't clear enough. Let me back up and start from the beginning.

It's March and I start a new class on teaching science and math in elementary schools. The major message is to combine science and math with other topics, aka integrate. The prevailing focus, no matter what our prez has recently said, is on reading and writing. That is where the money is and that is where the focus is. It makes sense to focus here but to ignore science and math is not that great. Of course teachers aren't ignoring math or science. At a lot of schools I have been a Mad Scientist at, the students are familiar with the topics we are discussing and know a lot about them. What these smart teachers are doing is finding ways to make science and math work hand in hand with reading and writing. The message of this class is a good one, these subjects aren't really that far removed from each other if you take the time to think them through. Just because it's a science lesson doesn't mean they can't improve other skills as well.

So our final project is a unit of our own devising. One that incorporates science, math, reading, writing and anything else you can fit in. I, being a bit of a rogue, decided I need a unit that interested me. The thinking behind this idea was that I need motivation to get the unit done on time and maybe even early. The problem was that I failed to explore pre-existing topics for items that might interest me. At first I was thinking of this map to GPS device kind of evolution unit but then I got excited about cameras. My niece, Katie, is a camera enthusiast and I decided to purchase a used 35mm slr camera for her. I ended up doing a lot of research to make his a reality and the more I talked to photograph enthusiasts the more excited I became. I began seeing possibilities for a unit incorporating cameras. We could make pinhole cameras, learn some history, do a cool photo essay project and learn how a camera lens works. I was patting myself on the back while smarter classmates were finding ideas from lesson plan sites. Most of my lessons would be created in my own head without much help from a pre-existing lesson plan. I did glean some ideas for the photo essay project and a lesson plan on Kodak's website inspired my math lesson but the rest was just me. Well me, the internet and several fantastic books.

When it came to write out the lesson I had trouble knowing what to include in the sequence and what to leave out. The result of this being that I am not sure if I met the right balance. I could have supplied too much information or I could have supplied too little. There is no doubt in my mind that I could teach the lessons or properly tell my classmates the ideas and highlights of the unit. The questions and the sense of dread stem from not really knowing if I have hit the required marks of the lesson plan I am turning in. Is it just an outline that would require a lot of research by a teacher or is it overkill on description and possibly too much info to throw at 5th graders? I don't know.

Either way I turned it in. I am not going to spend anymore time on it at this point. I may retouch it later so I could use it again (for my future classes or my actual teaching) but that would be about it.

As far as the unit goes we start with the Camera Obscura which was around for centuries. Some artists used it to sketch scenes and add realism to a painting or drawing. A lot of places had Camera Obscura booths where people could go in and gaze at the view projected upside down in a dark room. In fact there is one of these places still in operation at the Cliff House in San Francisco. It closed before I had a chance to check it out, it closed while we were waiting for a table. Anyway the kids learn about them and how they work and then get to build one for themselves.

Then we discover how we went from the camera obscura to the cameras we see today. One invention leading to a series of successive inventions. We travel from the first photograph to the digital age. We also discuss how cameras have been used and are being used.

Then we talk about the camera lenses. How they work, how they are built, the difference between convex and concave. They get to see the various effects of lenses (28mm, 50mm and the telephoto). I was even thinking of taking apart a damaged lens and allowing them to see the pieces up close and personal. My dad has one and I have one in need of cleaning.

Next we talk about how photos are used. We discuss famous photos and get reactions to them and then give the background behind the photo. We compare the initial reaction to the reaction coupled with knowledge. Then we talk about how people set up shots and the thought behind them. We talk about how the photographer can really control what we focus on and what we see.

Then we use a camera. In this lesson we hunt for objects that are 3 dimensional; ie., the cube, pyramid, sphere. They will take photos of these objects and create a shape book where they identify and define the shape under their picture.

Finally we end with a photo essay project. Students will write about and photograph their neighborhood and ultimately present them to their fellow classmates.

Two things I would add would be a unit on creating pinhole cameras and experience mixing chemicals to develop those pictures captured on the pinhole cameras. I was starting to worry about expense of this unit and decided not to include them. The other thing that prevented me from creating them was I would have needed more research into the development process and I was running out of time. The final reason I did not create the unit was that I only needed 5 lessons and I already had 6. Although in hindsight the lesson on photo development would have been a great science and math lesson. If I was to teach this lesson in a classroom we would definitely build the pinhole camera and we might partner with a photo enthusiast group and see if they would help us learn to develop photos. The community involvement angle may help defray costs a little. Anyway I need to shower and head to the university to present my unit. Wish me luck on the teacher's unit review.

Birthdays and Phones

2009-05-23T17:12:00.000-07:00

Hola!

Well it's that time of year again when I get phone calls. Yep, the rest of the year I make phone calls and on this day every year I get them. So it might seem odd that I have not answered any of them. I am sure you would rather wish me a 'Happy Birthday' over a phone connection but you will have to talk to my answering device. So call if you want and I will talk to you all later. Maybe.

I am not saying that I am ungrateful. I like being alive and I like having people care enough to let me know they remember my birthday. That is all great stuff. I just have elected to not answer or make calls today. It's my birthday and I have decided to lay low and leave my phone off.

Reader Email Time!

2009-05-14T10:15:00.000-07:00

Hey folks,
I have had the privilege of receiving some reader email lately and figured I would write a blog where I answer the email publicly. Here is the first email, sent in by Julia:

From: JuliaS334
Subject: I can be your trophy girl!

You have an invite to JuliaS334 personal profile.
*******************************************************
Hey there, Lover!
I'm 20 years old and looking for a sugar daddy.
If you make me happy, I'll make you happy too! ;)
Kisses!
*******************************************************

Want to say hi?
http://WEB ADDRESS WITH HELD

Julia! Thanks for being a reader! I am so glad that you enjoy my blog. There are a few things I should address with you. First of all I am in no position to be your sugar daddy because I am unemployed and have been so since June 2008. I appreciate the offer though... keep up the good work. Finally, last time I checked love and knowing people have to happen before you can call me "Lover." Either way it sounds like things are going well for you Julia, I am sure your parents are proud!

The second letter comes to us all the way from the United Kingdom!

From: Kelvin Smith
Subject: Vacancy Opening (respond immediately)

Dear Representative,

I hope this email meets you in good health. I feel quite safe dealing with you in this mutual beneficial transaction. Though, this medium Internet has been greatly abused, I choose to reach you through it because it still remains the fastest way to get in touch with people.

I am Mr. Kelvin Smith; an artist married with a wife and 2 lovely kids. I am 40 years old and paint for a living (I have been painting for the past 18 years). I have a vacancy opening available in my studio because I am setting up studios in different parts of the world and will need a Representative to work for me on a part time basis in the US now.

I sell Arts all over the world and have sold to both galleries and private collectors. I always face serious difficulties selling my art works to most of my US clients. This is because most times they offer to pay with either Money orders or checks which are difficult for me to cash here in United Kingdom. I need someone in the states to work as my representative and assist me in processing these payments and I will be willing to pay 10% for every transaction completed.

For this to be possible, I will need you to provide me with your basic personal info such as:

1. Full Name:
2. Contact Address:
3. City:
4. State:
5. Zip Code:
6. Country:
7. Phone Number:

I will never ask you for anything more than that, no bank name, bank account number, credit card, social security number etc. If anyone asks for those on my behalf please do not give out this info. This is to ensure that you will not be the victim of identity theft.

First step in this job is for you to wait at home for checks sent by my clients via regular mail or FedEx to get to you. After you receive the checks you will have to go to the bank to cash them, this will happen of course after the bank clears them. The time it takes for the check to clear depends on your bank.

I need you to be trustworthy and honest with me for I am ready to employ you for 6 months until I am fully established. If you are interested in working for me, kindly send the needed information to my email: kelvinarts007@gmail.com. I await your reply

Regards
Kelvin Smith

Kelvin my art peddling friend! How are you doing? I was excited to hear from you in your recent letter and was amazed that you had time to also read my blog and know that I was looking for a job! Your offer sounds very generous and like something I could do in my spare time! People that say nothing comes for free must be suckers! I mean here you are barely even knowing me and willing to send me a lot of money just to cash checks for you! That is fantastic! You should just send those puppies immediately! I am standing right next to my mailbox in anticipation! I had no idea that the banks in the United Kingdom had such a hard time processing money! Talk about a win for me! I hope you, your beautiful wife and the 2 lovely children have a fantastic year peddling art! Keep reading!

This last letter comes from someone who has a few choice words about my videos and podcasts. You may recognize this person as they are kind of a big deal!

Subject: An upset fan!
From: Rod Blagojovech (Imdaguv@exgovernors.com)

I have to lodge a complaint with you! I am not satisfied by your blog of late. First off I don't get what happened to the very intriguing podcasts. You promised that you would record weekly and I would get to hear your sweet sweet voice! You do like 3 and then leave me hanging! You are a cruel cruel man.

Even more egregious are the videos you keep putting up! First you tell me about the evils of flowers, then you show me the Volvo tractor and your weird tractor like cars. I don't know what to make of this! It was baffling! Since when do you think it is ok to not write blogs and simply make inane videos? Even more distressing is that you never show yourself in these videos and simply tease me with your voice. I could take all the videos as long as you appeared in them. Instead I have to sit outside your window and hope you open them... which of course you never do! Are you a vampire?? The latest videos are baffling to me. You have a cow and a dog talking and a pig playing music??? What evil sorcery is this! How did you get those animals to talk?! My dog never talks and certainly doesn't work at Wendy's!
Sincerely,
Former Governor Rod Blagojevich

Wow! Blago! What an honor! It is rare to get a disgraced politicians email! Even for someone as popular as me! I need to first ask you to stop standing outside my windows.... that's creepy. Now that we cleared that up let's get down to business. I am sorry that I have disappointed you by not doing the podcast more often. It was rather time consuming and you are the first person that claimed to like it. Most people never seemed to listen! As far as the videos go I can't say that I will stop doing them or that I will start appearing in them. I like making them and they are not terribly time consuming. This time you are the first person to react negatively to them. As far as talking animals are concerned... they are puppets, not animals. Anyway thanks for reading and keep up the stellar decision making!

Hope you enjoyed reader emails today. Keep writing to me and keep reading the blog!

Musical interlude

2009-05-13T19:08:00.001-07:00

Piggy finally gets his solo.

lactose intolerant

2009-05-13T01:12:00.001-07:00

I went to Wendy's the other day and was pleased to have a show with dinner. This lady was ordering a burger in front of me and she was crazy! So I felt it was important to recreate it with my new puppets for your enjoyment!

Sorry for falling off the face of the earth.....

2009-05-05T12:23:00.000-07:00

I was going strong. I had picked up some steam (talk about an old saying) and I was posting left and right. Then I just stopped. I'm sorry. I have no excuse.

I have had an adventure with vehicles lately. The videos you see on my site, that I actually made, were taken at the Tulip Festival. I stopped in and wandered around for quite a while and took pictures before heading South to meet up with my dad. I dropped my car off at a mechanic he and I like to use down there. Then we headed to his place and hung out with MaryJo, Ricky, the horses, the hens, 2 baby roosters and a bunny. In case you don't know Ricky, and many of you that read the blog don't, he is my nephew. MaryJo's daughter, Anto's son. (I don't think the punctuation or grammar is correct on that last sentence) Anyway we dug a trench for a water line and played some Wii. Then I stole their little blue car and headed to Portland. So far things in Mike's world were fine. Then on Tuesday I went to Clackamas High School to observe a mentor meeting and ran some errands. On the way home I was sitting at a stoplight when the car died. You see, the part I didn't mention was there was a fuse that had been blown before I left and we replaced it. It worked fine. We grabbed some more fuses just in case and that was what blew again. So I was at an intersection, that was all goofy with traffic, because the street had been closed off going one direction because of an accident and because people don't drive very well. So I had a line of cars behind me all honking and pissed while I was changing fuses. The first two I put in popped immediately. Finally the third fuse got the car going and I made it across the street. Only to have that fuse pop. So I pulled over and sat for a few minutes thinking maybe I could milk the last two fuses to get me home if i let the car cool for a bit. It was one of the warmest days we had so far this year, the warmest was the Sunday before this. Well, after several minutes, I put the new fuse in. It actually popped the minute the it was inserted. So I decided to wait a bit longer this time. I grabbed a book and read a couple chapters and tried again. The fuse broke when I turned the key. It was dead, I was stranded. I was also parked on a street that said "No Parking". So I called AAA and nearly 3 hours later got towed home. The mechanic shop was investigating the issue so I was without a car and Ireally needed a car. I ended up having to rent a car. Everything was resolved by Saturday but I had 3 days of rental that I had not planned for. My car was finished and ready to go that week as well but I was not able to get it until this weekend, a week and a half later. I cruised my dad's ride last week waiting to get my car.

My dad went to Eugene, that same crazy Saturday when I got his car back and returned the rental car, and he flew down to visit my Grandpa. He took my car and left it at the airport. The plan was that he would get back Thursday and come for a visit bringing my car up. His flight was goofy. He drove to Eugene. Then got on a plane and headed to Portland and then got on another plane and headed South to California. On the way back they had overbooked and he took the option to stay in Portland for a voucher credit and a refund of his flight to Eugene. So on Saturday we headed South to get my car and I then followed down to his homestead. This time I took pictures and helped put chicken wire on a frame to give the now much bigger baby roosters a separate space from the hens. They had also acquired 3 new baby hens since I had last visited. Ricky and I went exploring a little bit and we watched some Youtube. I came back up to Portland amidst the craziest rainy day ever! It was pouring all day. My friends decided it was to wet to go get a drink (that we had planned to get three days before) and so I sat around playing with camera stuff.

Ebay and I have become friends as I have been searching for 35 mm SLR cameras in working condition. Now I am looking for lenses for these cameras. One of the cameras is going to my niece Katie, who is a photography enthusiast, for her birthday. I never should have started with Ebay... It might just be the devil! I simply can't stop checking it. Although I have seriously slowed my bidding. My advice to new ebayers is to bid on one item at a time. If you bid on 8 cameras you might end up winning 8! I ended up winning 3 but it was close on the other 5. I had actually wanted 2 so I will be figuring out what to do with the third camera later. Once I get the 3rd camera I will be deciding which to give, which to keep and which to try and sell! If you want a 35 mm slr camera I might just be your guy!

In other news, I have recently bought my plane ticket to Phoenix. I will be down May 31st to June 5th. Jessica is graduating high school and Kevin is graduating college this month. So I am heading down to celebrate!

Sorry about not having any funny story about metal detectors and government buildings this time.

My cruising vehicle!

2009-04-20T00:28:00.001-07:00

I take you on a breathtaking tour of "how I roll!" Take a look at my sweet sweet ride!

Volvo makes a tractor

2009-04-20T00:19:00.001-07:00

My second video explores the wonderful legacy of the Volvo tractor. It is groundbreaking!

The Flower Conspiracy

2009-04-17T23:10:00.001-07:00

My first video with my new Flip Ultra video camera! Taken at the Tulip Festival.

This is a test of the emergency updating system.

2009-04-16T09:14:00.001-07:00

This is only a test.

Haha! It's strange how this test will look and feel like a real update (because it is). I woke up this morning ready to record a podcast.... unfortunately the groundskeepers decided today would be a fantastic day to use leaf blowers and other amazingly loud devices. The place is not very big so it always amazes me how long it takes these.... people.... to take care of the property (expletives were wanted here but I chose to say people to keep this more or less a PG rated blog). I always go through various urges to go out and kill. I tend to daydream of smashing their overly loud equipment against the concrete and handing them a broom. What ever happened to using a freaking broom? I can't stand the leaf blowers especially when they start before 8 AM! Of course, I have used a leaf blower and know that they are fantastically fun when you are the wielder. The noise is less annoying when you are using them then when you are debating whether or not to move from your comfortable bed and some jerk is running one right outside your window. Either way it is too loud to record a podcast at the moment and I can't say that I am completely awake enough to pull it off anyhow.

Let's move on to other topics. Lately I have been learning a new set of lessons for Mad Science. They are pretty cool looking but I feel nervous because I am not as familiar with them as I would like to be. Of course I will only be fully familiar with them once I actually teach them and get a real feel for the class. Either way I am looking forward to the challenge, unease and all.

Ooooh.... they have moved on to a power washer. Fantastic! If I only had Archimedes' Death Ray!

I have started a new 8 week course in my masters program and it is going swimmingly. Except for the whole fact that I think school sucks and wish that the purveyors of higher education, in all it's ridiculousness, would spontaneously combust in a most hilarious manner. I am forcing myself to jump through the hoops and the whole "I should have ran off to China" idea keeps reverberating in my brain. Yay school!

Of course in a weird turn of events I am thoroughly enjoying my beginning Japanese class. I can't say I remember very well yet but it is only my second week. Either way I like the class and feel excited to go every Wednesday! I think the excitement stems from actually learning something, which is sorely lacking in classes that shall remain nameless.

Last Friday, my friend Edie and I went to see The Roots in concert. The Roots are my favorite hip hop band and have nothing to do with the Alex Haley book or the made for TV miniseries starring the Reading Rainbow guy. Either way they are one of the few hip hop groups using real instruments. They have a fantastic drummer, Questlove, who is also a great DJ. They had a gentleman on the bongos, bass guitar, guitar and tuba as well. They completely brought it and rocked the night away. It was amazing. You should check out their music at Last.FM for free, realize that they are awesome, and then buy an album or two.

Yesterday I got a call from my friend Betty who was in a bit of a quandary. You see she needed to deal with some tax issues left over from the 2007 taxes. She was headed downtown and wanted company. She was not terribly worried about the evil of the IRS, at least not anymore worried then most people are. No, she was worried about the randoms. Betty is the type of person that attracts the randoms to lather in excitement. By random I mean the crazies of this city. Betty must look like someone they can and should talk to because they do and they follow her around as she ties to make good her escape. Of course she also lacks the ability to tell them "No, go away!" Not that I have that ability either but it is not that much of an issue. The conversations don't start very often and when they do they don't go on for very long. They most certainly don't follow me. Which is why I am a great person to elect for a mission such as this. All I had planned besides that was killing time with Facebook, doing some boring homework, finishing my Japanese writing homework and then going to NELA. All of which I managed even with a day of occupying various government offices. The Federal IRS office was very similar to a DMV. We got a number and had to stare at a digital display waiting for out number to come up. Of course like the DMV they don't just have one set of numbers but several so what looks like 12 people in front of you is more like 20. Unfortunately we needed the state office..... which was not in the same building and was actually back across the river nar my house. We snuck into a Buffalo Wild Wings before heading over to the other office. I had a tasty salad topped with buffalo tenders drenched in the Asian Zing sauce and a wonderful Huckleberry Lemonade. Then we headed over the river and through the woods, to grandmother's house we... wait. Nope, just over the river. We entered the building and headed to the office. There we discovered what she needed to know, which of course will require a follow up visit and more copies. Either way I was entertained and had the opportunity to get out of the house with something to do besides window shop.

Wait! I forgot an entertaining subplot of the story. Recently I have become enamored with Anime. The one I am currently in the midst of watching is Naruto. Naruto is about a ninja named Naruto and his various friends. It is pretty entertaining but I had not really expected it to hold interesting ideas for me. The idea was subtle enough that at first I had no idea that I had picked up on it. What is this brilliant idea I got from a cartoon? Well in Naruto's world everyone trains and works hard to move to the next level of ninjadom. Of course as ninja they can do some pretty cool things like flip around, build up energy until it crackles like electricity and what not. Of course my ideas were simpler then that and they came from several characters but they were driven home by a character named Brock Lee. Which is probably the funniest name in the show. At first you think Brock is his first name? And then you put the two together and add in his green jumper and laugh hysterically about him being a vegetable. Or at least I do. That is beside the point. Brock Lee is fighting an evil psycho kid to get in to an exam to test for the next level of ninja. He is fighting the kid and moving fast but the other guy is faster. So as his reveal he takes off these huge ankle weights that literally crack the floor and is now moving like three times faster. Now, I am not thinking "ooh I wish I was 3 times faster!" I am thinking "Ankle weights seem like a good way to get a little extra leg workout while just doing normal walking." So I go out and buy ankle weights and of course I have them on for our visit to the Federal building. I had to explain that they were just ankle weights and felt goofy taking them off and putting them back on again. Of course the weights did not quite dent the floor as they are not super heavy. I am kind of surprised I didn't get a more intimate search by the feds after being so silly as to where them into their building.

The Guest Room pt. 9

2009-04-07T01:55:00.000-07:00

It had been nearly a week since Joshua had arrived in Flagstaff. Dave had not said a word about New Mexico. He had simply went about his regular business; computer work he did from his home office. He put out two plates of food at each meal even if Joshua was not up to coming down the hall to eat. Joshua felt as if he was in limbo. He knew Dave was just waiting for the word, he was ready. Joshua wasn't. The downtime he had endured after the accident had allowed him to think. He wished he hadn't had the luxury. He had been overwhelmed by fears of the unknown becoming his worst nightmare. The fear of finding out what happened was paralyzing. He couldn't talk about it and he sure couldn't move forward. Part of him wondered if he truly needed to know what had happened to Sarah; she was gone after all. He knew this was just his fear and vulnerability talking. He knew that he would never truly sleep until he knew what happened and could lay her to rest.

Knowing that he needed to do it had not driven him to get it done. There was so much he had to take care of medically before he could do what he needed to do in New Mexico. He was getting used to moving awkwardly and his breaks, cracks and sprains were hurting him less each day. In fact, unless he did something incredibly stupid his ribs hardly hurt him. Unfortunately incredibly stupid things were done at least once a day. The doctor had advised he rest for at least 6 weeks to heal the ribs and broken leg; he was currently amidst the second week and going crazy. His ankle needed anywhere from 4 to 8 weeks to heal. He had been looking at Web MD hoping to find better news about the time it would take to be fully mobile but had been disappointed when the information provided had coincided with the doctor's predictions. He had no idea why he had thought it would be different, he was just hoping it was. He had definitely done a number on himself. He often wished he could see what his car had looked like after the accident. It must have been ugly.

The court case was a little bit of a stress as well but Tom was true to his word and was on top of it. Tom had made an offer to the prosecutor to lower the DUI to something less notorious and so far the offer was still on the table. Joshua's rates would probably go up but a lesser offense was a world better then a bogus DUI charge. DUI's stayed with you forever and required a lot of extra paper work. To have a DUI without being intoxicated seemed incredibly unfair. He sighed at the thought and turned back to the window. He watched the elderly man ride his scooter out to check the mail; there seemed to be another day of no mail for the old man. He wondered what the man had been hoping for. He closed his eyes on that world of possibilities.

______________________________________________________

Joshua saw her that night. She was outside his window just staring at him. There was no emotion on her face but Joshua felt as if she was calling to him somehow. Screaming for him; psychically reaching for him. He woke up screaming her name. He attempted to move toward the window, forgetting his body's condition. He fell hard to the ground and pain shot through him but he kept crawling toward the window and pulled himself up to see her in the window. He stood there looking out; searching for her. It took him several minutes to realize that she had been in his dream. Sarah was not standing outside wating for him.

His heart was racing and his breath came in fast bursts that sent pain shooting through his body. The door was thrown open and a half awake Dave rushed in holding a pistol. He looked at Joshua and nodded. "I'll pack the car. We'll leave at dawn." Dave turned and left the room.

Joshua felt the hot tears bubble to the surface and send hot rivulets streaming down his cheeks. He was broken in more ways then one.

Arty of the Irst Art Podcast

2009-04-05T21:38:00.001-07:00

This was a tiny pain to get online but it is finally up. Enjoy!

arty of the irst art.mp3

Sorry that I was MIA!

2009-04-02T18:40:00.000-07:00

Wow! I promise I am still alive even though it has been a while since I posted anything. School progressed to such a point that the idea of writing anything became deplorable and I wasn't even able to outline anything for a podcast. Without the outline I am not much good at making a podcast with any direction. Of course some would argue that I had no direction anyway but it could be much worse. Believe me... I actually hear dozens of recordings before I send out the crappy one for you to listen to. So yeah my apathy was incredibly high last week and most of this one. Tonight I get to pontificate upon the reform movement sweeping through science and mathematic curriculums. It shall be riveting....

I signed up with Twitter this week and I am not exactly sure why. So far I am not enamored by it but I will let you know how that goes. Speaking of things I am enamored with... SKYPE! Get on it and let's chat! All you need is a web camera and a quick Skype download and we could connect. It is fun to not only hear people but see them too! I am going to try and get another part of The Guest Room up by Sunday and hopefully a podcast as well. Keep your eyes peeled!

The Guest Room Pt. 8

2009-03-22T18:06:00.000-07:00

They arrived in Flagstaff and were waiting at Buffalo Wild Wings for Dave to join them and lead them back to his house. Tom had ordered a giant batch of wings to share and a beer for himself. Joshua's pain medication negated his ability to imbibe in an alcoholic beverage and instead he was staring, slightly sullenly, at a cola. Tom was chattering away with the cute little waitress; a normal behavior. He loved flirting with any girl that crossed his path. Joshua just zoned out and stared at one of the big screens displaying Sportscenter. He was not sure what the show was going on about as the pain medication made zoning out a blissful art form. At least he was not drooling. Another benefit he received was not feeling insecure about his cast and his seriously bruised face.

As he slowly thought about the benefits of pain medication, his line of sight was blocked. He refocused his eyes with a little effort and saw it was Dave standing there. Dave had a smile on his face that was framed by a mess of dark curls. He looked like someone who had no use for a comb; anyone could tell those curls would not submit to being told how to lay. Dave's mouth began moving and Joshua applied all his attention to focusing on what he was saying. His fondness for the pain medication began to wane as he found it difficult to shit gears. He of course was able to focus for "You look like crap Josh!" He offered a grimace before offering a reply.

"My appearance will slowly get better. You are stuck with how you look." Dave laughed in response and took a seat. Then grabbed Tom's beer and drank down half of it before launching into the wings. Tom tried to protest but Dave simply smiled at Tom with a sauce covered grin before downing the rest of the beer. Tom gave him an evil glare then ordered a couple more beers.

"So what is the deal about the accident? You in trouble? Do we need to wait until that is cleared up?" Dave asked between shoveling wings in his mouth.

"Court is set for a month from now. As long as Joshua can remain in contact with me everything that needs to get done can be figured out. Keep me up to date and stay in contact and we can make it work." Tom replied.

"No problem. We will definitely keep you in the loop. You gonna stay the night at least?" Dave asked.

"Yeah but I will be out of here early tomorrow. I have to get back to the office and get ready for trial for a doozy of a case on Monday."

"Thanks again for getting me out of jail and on to Flagstaff. I hope I didn't cause too much trouble." Joshua said.

Tom just nodded and smiled at the waitress as she approached with the beers.

The Second Podcast

2009-03-22T13:46:00.001-07:00

I am still working out how best to display the podcasts.

March 21st podcast.mp3

March 21st Podcast

2009-03-21T23:37:00.000-07:00

I did a few book reviews and a few movie reviews on this installment.

Check out this spot to get to the podcast: http://www.box.net/shared/3g5xstt2my

You can also go to Last.FM and find me there. You won't even need to download anything! You can check out both podcasts there but the latest one is called March 21st Podcast. Here is my page at Last.FM: http://www.last.fm/music/Crazed+Lunatik+Designs

This spot should lso have a link but so far is not showing it much to my irritation.
http://feeds2.feedburner.com/CrazedLunatiksBlog

Looking for some feedback! I am thinking of switching blog providers and will let you know if I do so.

The Guest Room Pt. 7

2009-03-12T02:51:00.000-07:00

Joshua had two cracked ribs, his left leg and ankle were broken, sore wrists, a concussion, an aching back, 2 black eyes, a broken nose, a lot of minor cuts, a pretty decent one above his eye, a slightly ticked farmer complaining about his irrigation ditch and a few feet of barb wire fence, and a cop who was telling him he might face a possible DUI charge. He kept hoping his smashed car would fall through the roof and smash the officer. Since that was not likely to happen, he utilized his right not to incriminate himself and sat there silently. A call had been made to a lawyer friend earlier. His friend lived in California, the state where Joshua was and the state he had almost made it out of before falling asleep behind the wheel and flipping his car into an irrigation ditch. His friend had told him to request a toxicology report be taken by the hospital staff and not to say anything at all to anyone about what happend or didn't happen. He was to refer all questions to his friend, who was now his lawyer.

The police man sighed with frustration as he realized Joshua wasn't talking. It was an overly dramatic sigh as far as Joshua was concerned. Close as he could tell, other then the cop's irritation over people exercising their rights, the man had nothing to be exasperated about. It wasn't as if the officer was in a hospital bed, in pain, stranded far away from home and his intended destination, and feeling delayed grief over his missing wife. Nope, that described Joshua, not the cop. Yet this guy sighed like Joshua was unreasonable for keeping his mouth shut instead of helping him make his case. Joshua wasn't going to open his mouth and get himself hooked with a stickable charge, especially a false one. Why couldn't this man just go away?

Then, like magic, the officer did. He promised, as he left, to be available when Joshua "felt like telling the truth." Instead, Joshua called for the nurse. He was starting to feel the injuries again and just wanted to sleep.

-------------- A day later ------------------------

"Josh! You look like someone dragged you through Hades, face first." Tom said in greeting. Tom had come down from San Diego to pick Josh up and get him the rest of the way to Flagstaff. He had apparently stopped at a few places first, one of which had been the police station to get a copy of the incident report. Tom was taking his job as lawyer seriously. He had managed to keep Josh out of jail when he got released from the hospital and was preparing a case to fight the DUI charge. He told Josh not to worry about it too much as he would be kept in the loop as the case progressed. He had also advised Joshua to not head out of reasonable range for the next month as he might be needed back here.

"Tom. It looks like you slimed your way to the top! Check out that tailored business suit!" He said in a mocking response. This was the first smile Joshua had given in days. It was good to see Tom. It was even better to be leaving the hospital, and soon the town.

"C'mon! You know me I'm too manly for suits off the rack! Let's get you out of here!" Tom grabbed the wheel chair reigns from the orderly and wheeled Joshua towards the exit. "Will get something to eat before we hit the road. This town has a great little burger place. I stop here every time I pass within an hour's drive of here...." Joshua just nodded his assent as they headed out of the hospital.

Interacting While Sick

2009-03-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

I have a cold and I have had a cold since Wednesday of last week (although it really hit full force Thursday evening). I have made 7 days with this stupid thing and by all reports this particular cold is a lingerer. The first few days were terrible. I was achy and exhausted but I went and did stuff I needed to do. I had no real option. It was in these first few days of my cold that I had an encounter that made me wonder about people's lack of tact and compassion. Let me explain. I was waiting in an area where a group would congregate and a meeting of some sort would take place (I am being vague on purpose). I set myself as far away from people as possible and told the people I usually sit by "Hey I have a cold so keep a protective bubble around yourself." Anyway this was before most of these people showed. I was the third person there. I had a few sneezes that I had tissues all prepared for, if I coughed I did so in a tissue. Luckily it was not the coughing part of the cold yet, that is happening now. I was just sneezy which is always heaviest in the beginning of the cold for me. Anyway I sneezed while I was getting a tissue out of one of those small packs (I had 4 small packs in my pocket). The sneeze was real loud and powerful but combined with the plastic of the tissue pack it was also high pitched. You see I had been trying to get the tissue out in preparation when, without sufficient warning, a sneeze hit me. I covered my face in the attempt to keep my germs away from those around me. The 2 people made fun of the high pitched sneeze as I went to make sure I had nothing on me and wash my hands. I came back to the room and sat down. From then on I had tissues out of the package way before I even needed them, in fact I think I sneezed like once more. That had sucked, I had learned a lesson. Anyway, like ten minutes later, while I was staring at a text message on my phone (I was really early) one of the 2 people asked "Wait.... are you sick?"

To which I said "Yeah." As honesty is always an option for any question. Plus I was way too sick to offer a clever remark.

What do you think her response was? Here is a multiple choice selection.

A. Oh, that sucks. Hope you get better soon.
B. Maybe you could see about skipping the meeting and going home early.
C. Stay away from me!
D. Well, you better cover your mouth if you cough or sneeze!
E. I love the Mets!

Maybe this will help you guess the right answer. My response was a stunned smile.... the kind where you have no response because what the person said was not only self centered but also amazingly insulting. The response was D.... and good try to those that missed it. It wasn't C because although it is self centered it is not really terribly insulting. It wasn't A or B because there was no chance of compassion causing me to silently stew over this for days. It wasn't E because I have yet to meet a Mets fan, and as a result, I have concluded that they don't in fact exist. It's like saying you know Bigfoot...

Back to the response. Here is why it is insulting. First of all I am not a 5 year old. Second of all part of the reason she asked was because I have a tissue in my hand and had just used it to cover my mouth for a half cough (meaning the kind where you cough like once but it isn't the full fledged forceful cough nor is it a coughing fit). Third, she saw me sneeze in to my hand and on a package of pocket tissues (and mocked me afterward). I am doing everything I can to keep the germs near me. I am not sitting close to her. I am also covering my mouth and nose because I am, in fact, an adult. So I smiled because I was hoping she was teasing me and also because I was stunned by her comment (knowing instinctively that she was not kidding).

Of course the smile got me a lecture as to why it was paramount that she avoid getting a cold. She mistook my stunned smile as a sarcastic reply. I was on cough medicine! I am not all that good at sarcasm when most of my brain is in the clouds! I was just going through the steps I usually take on a Friday night, perhaps I should have plead to skip the meeting or something but I did not even think of it until nearly three days later. That is what I mean, cough syrup puts me in cruise control. I almost need someone saying "Hey you look terrible. Go home and go to bed and come back for Monday's meeting." To which I would say "OK" and my cruise control would take me to the car and get me home. Later I would think "Why didn't I think of that?" Anyway this girl had very good reasons to want to avoid getting sick. Of course, who doesn't? Being sick sucks and is very inconvenient. What other reason do you need? It wasn't like I had went over and licked her or that I had even sat near her. I avoid people when I am sick as much as possible. Just ask the people I felt I could cancel with... the volunteer gigs. I have only went to the places I had to go since Thursday afternoon; the paying job and school. I emailed and contacted the various volunteer gigs and canceled my scheduled time for the day. I don't want to get people sick. I do admit this particular girl has a lot going on in the next month or two that requires her to not be sick. More so then the average person but why be rude about it? Why assume I am an idiot or a cretin? Or a maroon!? (thank you Bugs Bunny)

Maybe I am totally blowing this out of proportion, I am a little whiny because of this stupid cold. However, my whininess doesn't mean that I am not right. The whole thing could have been handled better. The best part is this particular person is a bit of a hypocrite. She dragged her dumb butt there when she was sick a month before. What is with the attitude when I do the same thing? Did I give you attitude? No all I said was "That sucks. Get better soon." You know the saying about kicking someone while there down? I just don't get it. Were is Miss Manners when I need her? Where the heck have all the "polishing schools" gone??? We could all really use them!

The Guest Room Pt. 6

2009-03-10T18:14:00.000-07:00

He was not real sure what woke him but he wished it hadn't. Pain erupted through out his body all at once and he let out a strangled gasp. Only one eye opened the other eye felt like it was taped down, he felt like that should worry him but the pain kept that worry from actually reaching him. He used his one eye to look around and he deduced the world was skewed. He was in his car and it wasn't very comfortable the roof was too close, the front window was smashed and the dash seemed to be lower then it normally sat. Of course he was not so sure about that as he soon realized both of his arms were hanging up near his head. He moved his arm a little and let out a moan again as still more pain awakened in his body. He was upside down, this was bad. He started to feel panic. He called out for his wife "SARAH!"

"Hey! This guy's alive! Get those Jaws of Life over here now!" A gravelly authoritative voice barked out from somewhere above him. Every single word had brought a new shot of pain through his head but the meaning of the words drifted through. He tried to move but his body seemed pinned. A head appeared in the triangle of the bottom of his window, or would that be the top when the car is upside down? "Don't try to move. You've been here, unconscious and upside down for quite a while. I doubt your body will work correctly even if you aren't broken. Give us a few more minutes and we will get ya out of there."

The man who was talking to Joshua had a grey mustache and tired eyes. He had a brown uniform with a sparkly badge and his words had a soft drawl to them. The officer was able to portray a sense of compassion and strength. Joshua felt himself relax, as much as anyone hanging upside down in a car for hours could. He knew he could trust the man to get him out of here and to a hospital. The hydraulic tools were there suddenly and the men in uniform made quick work of the door, they placed a neck brace on him and got him out as gently and as quickly as they could. Within moments he was in the ambulance being secured. The EMT made quick work of getting him all plugged in and scanned as he asked questions. Name, Address and simple things like that. Joshua answered the questions but he did so slowly as if he was having to recall things from far away. Apparently Joshua had a decent cut above his left eye because the EMT spent a lot of time examining his forehead and carefully cleaning the area up. Joshua realized why the eye wouldn't open. The blood from the cut had stuck it shut, he hoped that was the only reason. The EMT was calm and efficient even amidst the jarring motion of the vehicle as it left the dirt road headed to the hospital.

Joshua was having a hard time connecting why he had been in his car upside down and where he was to how his life was usually running. He could not quite grasp what was missing and it bothered him. Overall he felt like something was supposed to be happening and felt overwhelmed with frustration that he was strapped to a gurney and heading to a hospital. The why he was frustrated and what was so urgent was where he kept stumbling. He had no idea. The lack of any short term memory was also frustrating for him. He then wondered where Sarah was and hoped she was OK. A thrill of panic went through him and he once again tried to move. The restraints held him in place and the EMT told him to relax. He wanted to tell the guy that he couldn't relax. He wanted to tell the guy that he needed to call his wife but something held his tongue. Some little voice told him not to mention Sarah again and he listened but he was not sure why. The ride continued but the EMT was not as frantic in his movements. Joshua assumed that he must be in stable enough condition and the Hospital must be a ways off. His guess was right, the ride took forever.

My First Podcast

2009-03-10T02:22:00.000-07:00

Hey this is the first podcast and I hope it works. Give it a try.

If you see nothing to click it is due to technical difficulties on my part.

Try this link.... http://feeds2.feedburner.com/CrazedLunatiksBlog

It is an mp3 and should play on itunes and other music players on your computer. So download it and it should play on any audio player you use.

Let me know what you think and if it works....

A Rambling Review of Synecdoche, New York

2009-03-03T22:32:00.000-08:00

Do you ever go see a movie people recommend to you that you just.... Ya know? It's not that you didn't like it.... well it's kinda that you didn't like it. You also kinda liked parts of it but overall it left you feeling odd, disconnected and unsure of what you just paid for? This movie was kind of like the "free drink" in Vegas for gamblers.... those drinks always cost me like 40 bucks! Those "free drinks" are rarely ever worth it.

Without further ado..... here is my review of Synecdoche, New York.

I am not sure what to make of what I just saw. There are a lot of factors we need to consider here. I had an extremely long (but good) day, after a hard night of nearly restless sleep. Then why did I go? Well I joined a Meetup group (meetup.com) based around seeing films. I had not been to an event yet mainly due to schedule conflicts or lack of interest; for example they had a showing of some movie staring Renee Zellwegger and I would almost rather have 12 root canals on the same day then see her in another freaking movie. (I loathe her!) Anyway this one was a Meetup I could make and carried the bonus of several movie selections (albeit all possible selections were not really my speed). When I got home from teaching today, I melted in to my recliner and almost never made it back up. By the time I got to the theater the movie was about to start. I watched the movie and actually ordered food and a couple pints (Living Room Theaters). I am not sure who the Meetup people were nor was I sure if we met up after the movie or not. I felt a little insecure asking people that I thought might be part of the group. Either way I had decided I was seeing a movie this day and had, as a result, not went to any other movie prior to this one. So I watched a movie mainly because I really wanted to see a movie.

I guess I should review the movie now.... it's just that the movie left me not feeling like doing anything. How weird is it to laugh while slowly falling into a depressive state. This movie seems to carry the moniker of "Tragicomedy" in the other reviews I have read. For some odd reason I kept expecting the movie to start making sense or have a good ending but it just kept on trucking along being a hugely surreal downer. The surrealness is really where the humor comes in, most of the humor stemmed from the odd flow. I think people enjoyed the oddness of the movie but why make such a downer? Really?

I am done attempting to review this movie..... I just don't get it. It was not my favorite. I could definitely have lived without ever watching it. As far as the actors.... they seemed good and I bought the surrealness of their characters. The story was often confusing (due to the main character's loose hold on time) and it all started to seem long about 30 minutes before it ended. I think really it was the last 45 minutes that killed the movie for me. Until then I was kind of thinking the movie might still do something. It never does by the way.... My recommendation? See it if you like odd and off the wall flicks. Especially if you are not as bothered by downers. Don't see the movie if you want to laugh and have a good time....