Dream Land Part 6

Chapter 5

“There you are. You really do have some screwy dreams! Let’s get going.” The crocodile has a way of talking that was fast and to the point. Usually the point made sense only to him but he definitely had a point. I got off the camel I was sitting on and followed the crocodile. Even as I was doing it I realized how silly it would sound when I wrote about it later.

He had become my guide ever since he bit off my hand and I would almost say we were friends. The thing is that even dream crocodiles are not really suited for friendship. If he was feeling hungry you had to watch out. With that one exception, I realized that I enjoyed his company. He always led the way through my dreams. Searching for Sarah was always on the agenda but I am not sure that the crocodile saw it as a priority. We spent a lot of our time pausing while he ate something that passed by. Usually it was something slightly annoying that he would gobble down. One time a rabbit with a whistle was following us blowing away on the whistle; I kicked it and then he ate it. When I woke up my alarm clock was smashed and I was three hours late to work. I am happy to say that has only happened once.

As I left the camel behind and followed him, I thought I saw something familiar enter my peripheral vision. It was a face amidst a rainforest landscape but when I turned to get a better look, it disappeared. I stood there for a while staring out into the forest. When I turned around the crocodile was eating a monkey that looked suspiciously like the animated Curious George monkey. I blinked my eyes and the crocodile was gone. To be truthful so was everything else…. I was in that same white space I had lost Sarah in. The couch faded in through the white. Perhaps extruded would be a better term as it seemed to plop through like a Twinkie from the Twinkie extruding machine. Sitting there on the couch, delicately perched on the seat cushion, was a letter. I stared at it but did not move towards it. I was not really sure that I wanted to open it, but even from across the room I saw it was addressed to me. Instead of walking towards it, I sat down on the ground and waited. I needed time.

“Well aren’t you going to open it?” I turned toward the voice and saw the crocodile. I was a little puzzled as to when he had come into the white space but I let that thought trail away. He was eating again. This time he had a napkin tied around his neck and he had a bucket of fried chicken in his lap. I shrugged at him in response. “So what is your whiny reason this time?”

“This time?” I asked, confused by the addition of these words. Had we done this before?

“Yeah.... This time! When I first met you there was a letter. You refused to acknowledge it even after I put it in your hand. You kept talking to me about my eating habits I was feeling a little frustrated so I bit off your hand; the one holding the letter. Then all you could do was whine about your missing hand.” He shook half of the bucket of chicken into his mouth.

I turned to look at the envelope again but it wasn’t there. “Hey… uh… where…”

“I put it in your hand again.” The crocodile interrupted, predicting my question. I looked down at my hand and saw he was right. I looked at the lettering of my name on the envelope; it was not Sarah’s writing. I was not sure how I knew this but I did. I slid a finger along the lip and opened the envelope. The letter itself was a light blue shade with a hand written script in darker blue. I had a hard time deciphering the signature at the bottom and decided I had to read the letter to have a chance of figuring out who sent it.

Shawn,
I am not sure what is happening between you and Sarah. She has not been herself these last few weeks. Has it really been weeks?
Where are you? I can never find you to talk and we need to. I have never been given a name verbally in your dreams but I do have one. My name is (the name is smeared as if he decided not to reveal it). You will know me as Sarah’s friend and your best friend in this dream realm. I have been a director, a tour guide, a pick axe wielding dwarf and scores of other people. I am always there and I usually help you get together with Sarah. I am always the first to find you which is why it is so weird that I can’t find you now.
I think we may be in trouble here. Your dream world has been chaotic since you and Sarah had that talk. It is not safe for me to spend much time there. Something keeps interfering with any attempt of contact I have made. The one exception was the last letter but I know you never read it. I am headed to find someone who might be able to help me find you and fix this strange degradation of your dreams. If you see a letter in the future make sure you notice it sooner.
Your friend,
(The scribble is undecipherable)

I reread the letter twice. I can’t remember his name or read through the blurred writing. Meaning that I still have no idea what name I should have in my head to search with. A lot of searching in dreams is done through names. Faces, bodies and species are subject to change. The name doesn’t, it sticks with the wearer of the name. I star to think about reasons why he might be looking for me and wonder about what he meant when he said the dream world was no longer safe. A distressing idea occurs to me idea, that someone has changed the rules of my dreams on me. I turn to ask the crocodile for his advice but my alarm goes off instead.

My Dream Life part 5 (The crocodile guide)

Chapter 4
My dreams have been mundane and ordinarily random the last few weeks. In the most recent one a cigar toting alligator paused in front of me to ask for a light and before I know it he and I are wandering through convoluted adventures. I didn’t catch a trace of Sarah anywhere we went. She is no longer there to be found.
My real life has been chugging along just fine. Jen and I are still together and she has even introduced me to her friends. Something I wish hadn’t happened because in truth her friends are terrible. Which is not something you can say to the girl you are dating; even if it is the truth. I guess I should give an example. The first time I met her best friend Ally and her boyfriend Ben we went out for dinner. It was a place that I have always loved and the little Asian family that owns it are proud of the establishment. The food is good and they are always happy to see me. Everyone who has ever been there with me has thought it was a great place. It is small and not fancy but between the pride of the owners and the quality of the food it is a pleasant eating experience. Except for that night; all her friends could do was ridicule and complain about everything. At one point Ally thought it would be fun to mimic the accent. I have never considered myself P.C. but I was mortified and wanted to stop her in the eye with a chopstick. I was absolutely offended by their behavior and felt the need to apologize profusely for a week afterwards. Which meant that I went to their restaurant for lunch and ate for 7 days; between bites of food I apologized. It was the most pleasant apology experience I have ever had. They were still happy to see me every time but I think in all honesty they were happy I came alone.
Jen apologized to me and claimed it was the pre-dinner drinks that had caused the behavior I had been scandalized by. I decided to take her word for it because Jen seems relatively sane. After last night’s bowling event I am having my doubts about her ability to judge a person’s character. There were a group of ten of us; evenly divided between her friends and mine. It started out a little awkwardly but a few pitchers later everything seems amicable. Until I noticed that they had failed to chip in on any of the pitchers but were drinking most of the beer. I am all for buying pitchers and allowing people to drink with me and even get the extras beer or two on me but I need them to pitch in as well. It is an unwritten rule of hanging out as a group; everyone takes a turn buying a pitcher. My side of the bowling group had all bought a pitcher at some point and we suddenly had run dry. So I asked “Whose turn is it to get a pitcher?” The only response was silence and I felt like I needed to say something. My sarcastic friend Mike, knowing I was already on edge about Jen’s friends, decided to just buy the next pitcher and stop me from saying anything. Which, in reality, has only delayed the inevitable. I could feel my irritation building and knew I needed to call it a night and as the beer was passed around I declined.
I kissed Jen on the cheek at the last frame, made some excuse about a meeting early in the morning and took off; followed closely by my friends. We ended up back at my place and everyone discussed what had happened. Nobody had left with a very good impression of her friends and only I was the one irritated by the pitcher situation. Mike’s wife had not been comfortable with how Ally had spoken to the kid working behind the bowling counter. Mike had not liked little side comments said into his back as he went up to bowl. Steve had been irritated by the general conduct of her friends and his wife Susan could only say “I didn’t like them but not for any concrete reason.” Susan likes everybody and her admitting she did not like someone is kind of unheard of. If she were ever carjacked she would still not be able say that the guy was a jackass. Something was wrong with Jen’s friends and I was less sure of who Jen was.
When I had calmed down and everyone had left I tried to sleep. I wanted to find Sarah and talk to her. I wanted her to be there by my side in the dream. She always had good insights and could get at what the real problem was that I was facing. She would listen and when I was done she would point out things I had not paid attention to that were important clues. Then she would ask me questions that got to the heart of the matter and helped me figure out what to do. Of course I wanted her by my side for more than just her insight. It occurred to me as I lay there that asking Sarah about Jen’s friends did not seem right somehow. Then I just started thinking about her. I wondered if she still wore her engagement ring. I wondered if she ever smiled when she thought of me. I also wondered if she had manifested in someone else’s dreams.
That was when the dream started; the one with the crocodile. He told me to stop looking and to work on getting my head in order. He said “No one wants someone who is afraid to go after what he wants. You should have stopped her before she left. If you really loved her you would have.” His advice continued as I followed him through confusing dreamscapes. He told me that what is going to happen will and my job was to be ready. Then he bit off my hand. For some odd reason I still followed him around like we were friends.

My Dream Life part 4 (It falls apart)

Chapter 3
“Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?”
She doesn’t answer at first. “No, not really.”
I look at her back as she has not yet turned to face me. It isn’t hard to guess that she is upset and that her anger is directed at me. “Sarah…. Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you for days.”
“I know….” She offers nothing more than that and I decide not to push.
“What should we do Sarah? We have a whole night ahead of us!” I try to sound excited. I try to hold back my fears but it sounds hollow. I feel like the minute she starts talking it will all be over. I am not sure what to do to prevent it. At the same time I am not sure I should prevent it. Loving a girl in a dream is not something you can explain to people; but she is not someone I want to give up.
“Can we just sit here? Do we have to enter some crazy adventure? Can’t we just sit together on the couch?” As she says it a comfortable looking couch appears behind me. I sit down as a silent answer to her question and she follows suit; somehow avoiding meeting my eyes. She tucks under my arm and we sit on a couch in a blank white space.
It is a long time before she speaks. I felt like I was almost asleep when she did. Which is a weird feeling… to be on the edge of sleep when you are dreaming. When she spoke it was quietly but in this empty world with only her and me, on a couch, it sounds like an explosion. “I love you.” Then she kisses me and I shut my eyes. When I open them again she is gone and the vast empty white is bleeding away. Sounds start intruding on me and the couch and I am back in my normal dream world; the one of chaos and non sequiturs. I put my head in my hands and feel the pain of her loss. It feels like a hole has been ripped from me and I wake up screaming.

My Dream Life Part 3

Chapter 2
I knock on her door and I hear a mumbled answer from behind the door. I interpret it as “Be right there.” When she opens the door she is wearing a little robe and holding her toothbrush and suddenly the mumbling is understandable. She smiles at me and her eyes fall to the flowers I am holding and she kisses me. She tastes minty.
I follow her in to the apartment and she takes the flowers and hands me the TV remote. Then she rushes off to continue getting ready and to find a vase for the flowers. I sit down on her slightly uncomfortable futon couch and flip through the channels. I pause on the sports channel but they are talking about hockey and I realize I don’t care. I flip it to the cartoon network and settle in to watch Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. I think about finding something else because I am afraid this might turn me into a huge dork in her eyes but I did just arrive with flowers. With that thought I place the remote on the table in front of me. I end up watching a show and a half before she is ready to go. Before we can go she has to ask the inexplicable girl question, “How do I look?”
I pause and smile at her, “You look stunning Jen.” Was there ever a different answer to this question? Let’s be honest here, even if she looked like she was joining the circus my answer would be the same. It is nice to actually mean it but the correct answer is always positive and immediate. After I have answered I finally do take in what she is wearing; a black dress that makes me think some very distracting thoughts. She does look fantastic and I begin to wonder how I ever got the first date with her; let alone the third. I open the door for her and then follow her to the stairs.
Dinner is an experience and it puts a decent dent in my finances. I am glad the food was good because I have been places and spent more and had less palatable cuisine. Jen is all smiles as we head out the door. “Can we go see a movie?” she asks. I look across the street at the multiplex and see nothing of interest on the marquee. “Only if you pick it.”
We end up seeing some poorly written love story but she loves it. It is what is known as a chick flick. I think about the other choices that were available and I realize I am glad she chose this one. At least it did not have Meryl Streep, Jodi Foster or Renee Zellweger in it. I imagine the male star of the film getting hit by a car as he runs across the street to stop her from leaving him and I am able to make it through to the end. Of course my thoughts aren’t on Jen, the date or the absurd plot of the movie; they are on Sarah. My dreams were empty last night and I don’t remember anything about them except for the fact she was not in them. It is the first time in months I completely missed her. I am not sure what it means and I have been feeling uneasy all day. It occurs to me that my worry for a dream girl might be ridiculous and maybe her not appearing is a good thing. Of course I don’t believe that. I have thought at times that I was going insane and not dreaming of her might show that I am reconnecting with reality. Of course reality is over rated.
If this was a movie, her absence would probably lead me into a world of intrigue. I would find out she is a real person and that she is in trouble. Perhaps she and the others were all in a coma and an experimental drug connected their dreams to mine but the doctors cut it off and they are dying. Or maybe the girl is from another world and she is an alien in need of my help. Or maybe this is a surreal story and she is actually an old childhood friend who died and always loved me. Of course I am not in a movie or a beautifully crafted story so all these ideas seem stupid and impossible. It is more likely that I am insane.

My Dream Life - part 2 (the real world)

Chapter 1 - The Real World

I am not entirely sure when my dreams started to have a string of recurring people with ongoing roles. I am not even sure when my dreamland became more real than reality but it happened. The truth is I am in love with that girl. Every night I run into her somewhere in my dreams and if I am really lucky it is long before I wake up. It is always like the dream I have relayed to you; infuriating, changing, vivid, lovely, happy and perfect. I am not always a movie star…. Or was I a television star? And she doesn't always look the same but the minute I find her (often with the guy who played the director last night as a guide) I know it's her. Sometimes her face will change, much like her outfit did in this dream, but I always know it's her once I've found her. Some of the more irritating nights of dreaming are spent being confused and searching for her but not remembering that it is her I am searching for. I wander, looking the entire dream time and finally find her just to wake up. She always knows before I do that I am about to wake up. It is the reason everyone was so irritated with me last night. I had forgotten them in my dreaming again and had not made it until it was too late. As I woke her kiss remained etched in my brain as did her tears. I would need to find her quicker tonight. She deserved that much.

In this place, the "real" world, I work in insurance services. It is not my ideal work environment but I pay the bills, put fuel in my car, shop for groceries and have enough left over to manage a few fun things every week. My savings account is not filled to the brim but there is something in there. I have plans to go out with friends tonight for a little drunken karaoke and I have a third date set up for tomorrow with a girl I met at a friend’s house party. My life is not closeted and I am no your normal delusional maniac. I don’t lack friends or dates. I exist in the real world and I try to maintain and keep a life in this world. Truth be told, I am just as confused as you are about my other life but I have been seeing the same dream girl for two years. It seemed to be time to propose to her and we have been engaged for the last two months.

I used to wish that my dreams were the reality and this place was the dream. I know it isn't though. This world is too horribly consistent to ever be a dream. Every time I wake up I instantly know where I am, who I am, what bills are due and what I need to do that day. That never happens in a dream. Usually in a dream I spend most of it trying to remember where I am and what I need to do. I will be lucky if I have the movie/tv star world pop back up. I hate waking up from that world no matter how random and changing it is but even when I have all day to sleep I can't always manage a dream with her in it. Even a long nap does not guarantee that I will see her; even if I fall into dreamland. So every day I get up and go about my other life. I work, play, date and eat but not necessarily in that order. Welcome to my life.

Most of my days are as boring as anyone else's days. On the weekends I have some fun with friends, go on dates, see the latest blockbuster movie and indulge in the act of sleeping in. My weeknight fun usually consists of watching my favorite television shows and maybe a bowl of ice cream. Basically in my day to day life you and I are similar. I am not marked as different from you in any way in the real world. In my dreams is where I differ. Even if you have recurring characters in your dreams they are probably some weird nightmare where it replays. My dreams have people who show up every night. They know who I am, love me for who I am, understand that they are parts of my dream, and remember not only what happened the night before but also have a knowledge of my waking moments. You can’t tell me that this happens to you… and if you do tell me that, we both know it is just because you like to argue.

This day is not much different than any other Friday. My calls are new people calling with vaguely the same problems. The insurance company is moving too slowly on their insurance claim, we raised their rates, they have a new driver or car to add, or they are being dropped because they can’t remember to pay the bill no matter how many notices we send them. I chatter between calls and on my breaks with coworkers but overall I am bored. The job is mindless and terrible. One thing this job has taught me is that no matter what your insurance company claims they are not on your side, they aren’t your family, they make terrible neighbors and they are in it for the money. That brings up a sore point for me because more than half of my day is filled up with you yelling at me about your own mistakes. Don’t fool yourself by the pleasant sounding chatter coming from my mouth. If you say the wrong thing about something we insure that ups your risk realize that I am being recorded and I do have to find out more and possibly raise your rates. We aren’t friends that can shoot the breeze about the tree about to crash through your house. So watch your mouth and don’t give more details then I ask for. I am not saying that you should lie to your insurance company; you most definitely should answer all questions truthfully. Lying could end up getting you into some serious legal trouble. What I am saying is don’t start giving out extra information. If you are super proud of the latest giant lift you put on your truck share it with your friend not your insurance company representative. If I didn’t bring it up keep it to yourself. Anyway the day was filled with the usual crap and the only bright spot was knowing that at 5 PM my friends and I were headed to happy hour. I could almost taste it.

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“So tell us about this chick you’re dating, Shawn. Is she hot?” Mike asked with his usual bluntness.

“You mean Sarah? Except for her hunchback, horrible teeth, insatiable appetite for human flesh, and terrible smell of decay; I would have to say yes.” I responded. And the guys laughed as the waitress set our beers down in front of us.

“You gonna bring her out to the lake with you next weekend?” Mike asked.

“It depends on if she can find a swimming suit that will accentuate her hump back or not.” I replied with a smirk. “I am planning too and so far she is planning on coming along. Are you bringing your wife or did you figure that it might be a good idea to ditch her again?”

“Hey! She told me I could go without her when she sprained her ankle. How was I supposed to know that actually meant that I couldn’t go without her unless I planned on committing hari-kiri when I got back.” He said with a slightly innocent but somehow evil look in his eye.

We all laughed and reached for our beers.
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A Rambling Review of The Unborn

I don't know what it is with the last 3 horror movies I have rented but Wow! They sure do suck. The 3 movies in question: Quarantine (I was laughing during this movie, another hand held taped report from people who don't make it out alive), The Uninvited (I say this movie sucked because I was wanting scary and it wasn't although it was sorta interesting), and The Unborn. I just watched The Unborn and I had to share how bad it was. So here is my review of The Unborn.



The above picture is probably the most engaging scene in the movie. The heroine in underwear.... what bliss! The thing is the movie is so bad it doesn't help. If you are looking for scary then you should look elsewhere. Let me break it down for you the above pictured underwear clad girl is named Casey; which only took the entire movie for me to find out. I am sure they said it before the end but I only hear her name with enough repetition to stick at the end. Even video calls to her friend lacks anyone calling her by her name.

We start the movie off watching Casey jog. She pauses to catch her breath and notices a glove on the ground. Then she sees a boy standing there. The boy has a white face and blue eyes that look like really bad colored contacts a weirdo goth kid might wear to make you think they were weird. Of course they are a goth kid so you know they aren't weird, merely pathetic. Anyway this little kid turns into a growling dog wearing a mask that looks like the creepy little boy. For whatever reason when it runs away she follows it. We soon discover this was a dream she is telling a friend about who is telling her what the dream means. Casey also happens to be babysitting a little boy and his baby brother. Of course she hears steps and whispering on the baby monitor so she goes to investigate and the little boy is showing the baby a mirror. She decides to stop him and he crushes it into her head and says "Jumby wants to be born now." In case you were wondering, this little boy is weirder and creepier looking then the creepy white faced and bad contact wearing boy. The next day she is discussing it with her friend from the phone call, her boyfriend and some random girl who never shows up again. The friend talks about a superstition that babies shouldn't see their reflection for a year after birth to keep them safe. I zoned out at this point.

Then the underwear scene happened. I zoned out after that and next thing I notice she has sex with her boyfriend. Which brings up an interesting theme in modern horror flicks. Apparently sex allows evil things to happen. I am not sure who is more against sex: religious organizations or horror movie directors. One of the first movies to make this point was Halloween. In that movie all the teens die except Jamie Lee Curtis and she is the only virgin. In fact, all the others die right after sex or during the act. So if you ever suspect you are stuck in a horror film please refrain from having sex. It could save your life.

Anyway the minute after she knocks boots the little colored contact wearing pasty kid starts upping the ante a bit. He shows up all over, sends icky insects at her and appears in mirrors. Then Casey's eye starts turning blue and we find out this is caused.... somehow.... by a twins random strand of DNA. She finds out she was a twin but that her bro died in the womb. Shortly after this.... YAWN!!! Sorry. Anyway somehow we find out, in the middle of the movie, that her mother was adopted and killed herself. Before she died she found her own biological mother. So Casey goes and has a chat with her. We find out that the little ugly kid with the bad contacts was her twin brother back when they were prisoners in a Nazi concentration camp. Apparently experiments.... brother dies.... body is possessed.... she knows... kills possessed bro... pasty, contact wearing kid is a little perturbed to be dead. Anyway the thing that possessed the brother is some old Jewish demon thing called a dybbuk. It likes twins because they are easier to take over, I guess. Casey decides she needs an exorcism... The dybbuk kills her grandma, inhabits the little boy she babysat, kills and inhabits her friend but she is the one who needs an exorcism. Aren't exorcism more affective if you go after the person actually possessed? But.... what do I know?

Anyway they have an exorcism; and her boyfriend and 8 other people helping out are killed. She and the only other surviving person, a rabbi played by Gary Oldman, think they got rid of it. Five seconds later we find out she is pregnant with twins and the movie is over.

So here are a few stupid highlights:

"Jumby" - Her dad tells her, when he finally admits she was a twin before birth, that the nickname given to the brother was jumby. Uh... what kind of stupid nickname is that? I think "jumby" has the right to start offing people. Why he didn't start with pops (who never reappears after he admits his daughter was supposed to be a twin) is beyond me.

the exorcism - I am still confused by the fact that she thought she should get an exorcism even though the other people were the ones being possessed. That is like calling a plumber to your house because your neighbor has a clogged toilet. She was never possessed.... Apparently one of her babies is though.

"The world is not safe" - Her boyfriend and her watch the possessed little boy (babysat kid), kill her friend and her friend becomes randomly possessed. Of course, as soon as that happens they cut away to an ambulance checking the still creepy but no longer possessed murderer... I mean kid. There is no sign of the friend nor is she really brought up again. Anyway she and her boyfriend are suddenly in a diner talking about it. He is rambling about the world no longer being safe and she is rambling about the world never actually was safe and people just pretend it is. This stupid conversation is fresh in our minds when the exorcism starts going wrong. The boyfriend frees her from her restraints during the exorcism that "shouldn't be stopped once it's begun". They run away while the other people are being killed by the evil spirit that has still never inhabited or posessed Casey. So if a hot Megan Fox looking girl named Casey wants you to help her be exorcised just say "NO!", because she will end up running away in the middle of it and you will be killed. Even worse is the fact that she was never even posessed. Getting back to the movie, boyfriend and Casey are hiding and maybe like five seconds of silence go by and she says "I think it's gone." Somehow she has transitioned from scared of everything to thinking everything is peachy keen. Of course immediately after that the boyfriend gets attacked and possessed and yada yada yada. Out of nowhere, the rabbi starts chanting the exorcism thing again and somehow "saves the day". So what happened between "the world is not safe" to "I think it's gone"? What made her think they were safe? How did she change her mind so quickly? I'll tell you how; bad writing.

Two African-American characters - I am sure you have all heard the African-American comedians talk about black people in horror movies. They joke about how they always are the first to die in these movies. In this movie they don't die first but neither makes it out alive. Her friend, who happens to be African-American, is the second character to die. Then there is a priest who dies within 5 minutes of being introduced. He dies at the exorcism and is possessed. He is the one who attacks the boyfriend. Anyway, it is amazing that the white rabbi lives and the African-American priest dies. The funny thing is the priest knows more about exorcisms then the Rabbi so it seems he should have been the one left standing. Once again we have a movie with only two African-American characters in it and both die. Awesome. Way to keep a stereotype alive.

Bottom line: This movie isn't even worth seeing to make fun of. It was pretty boring and the action scenes were boring.

My Dream Life

This is a new story idea I am trying out. The idea is born from a dream I had while napping. Unfortunately for me the dream ended as I started to have it make sense but fortunately for me my sleep addled brain latched on to the idea and pushed me to write out a story idea. This is the beginning.... the rehash of the dream I was having basically but with a little creative license. It will be the set up for a few short stories to come. I am working on the next one right now. Let me know what you think of it.

Prelude
I am not exactly sure how long I have been in show business but it somehow feels like the last 2 minutes and an eternity all at once. The only thing I am sure of is that I feel good about my career as I finish filming the last scene of the day. I am a big star, a rising talent and there is something else…… What is it? Damn, that thought was just there but a lot of things change and shift every time I am here. Lately I have noticed that I am struggling to adjust but I am not sure what exactly I am adjusting from. I can’t even tell you where my trailer is or what kind of a scene I just shot. I am sure it will all work out well in the end.

As I walk away from the set, and through the hundreds of star struck extras, I notice her further up ahead. She is wearing an outfit that looks like a track suit and has USA embroidered across the back. I know her but I am not clear as to the why or the how. Every part of me wants to go to her but I turn down a different path. I am headed to the location where a television show is being filmed, a show I guest star in occasionally. The place where my fiancé works and I feel almost giddy. I can see the cast, dressed in the same track suits with USA embroidered on the back, and they are outside a collegiate administrative building in this scene. I know this set pretty well and I wave to them but none of them return the wave. The wave might be what causes the director to turn around with such clear exasperation. He is usually happier to see me. I wave again, hoping to get one friendly face to acknowledge me but they look down or away instead. The director’s eyes have not wavered from my face and irritation is etched there. I feel bad about that because we are usually on good terms. One might even say we are friends. I continue walking towards him, a question on my lips.

“She’s not here.” He says in lieu of a greeting; somehow answering my unasked question. My smile falters for a minute. “She’s behind you. She was over near your set trying to recruit some extras for this scene to come over and help as soon as you guys wrapped.” He hesitates again and he looks genuinely sad. “Look, I don’t have enough time to write you into this script so come back earlier next time. Now go to her.”

I turn away from him, confused again, and see her immediately. The girl I saw as I walked away from my set, of course. I knew it was her somehow but at the same time, I hadn’t. She is wearing the same track suit the rest of the cast is wearing. It couldn’t be more obvious. I feel a little silly and stupid but suddenly she is there, in front of me. I take her image in. The beautiful girl, she is my greatest and truest love. Her brown hair cascades down, framing her face. I look into her brown eyes and see a happy sadness there. I smile at her and reach for her as something flashes.

I notice her pigtails are cute, as is her 1950’s puppy dress, but I can’t quite shake the feeling something just changed. Something is different but her hand is in mine and the concern over the missing piece is shoved from m mind. I kiss her and tell her how much I missed her. It’s all true but I can tell that she is holding back. I keep kissing her and she looks at me with a mixture of love, irritation and resignation. A tear wells in her eye and I ask her what is making her cry.

“You came too late.” Her smile fades and the tear begins to fall as slowly everything goes white around us. I can hear the director say goodbye and the crew echo those words. The last thing I see is her tear stained face as I kiss her lips and the last thing I hear is: “You’re waking up now…”

Then I wake up in my room with a blaring alarm clock and I am once again alone.

A day of decadence

I finally got the financial aid check today. To celebrate, and relieve a little stress, I spent some money today. I did not spend a lot but I did spend more then I have spent in the last 3 weeks. It felt great. As a result of the spending I have a few things to review. Let's start with the latest culinary creation from McDonald's!



I had been seeing emails and web ads about McDonald's new Angus Third Pounders for a few weeks now. I have to tell you that everytime I look at a picture of them I feel the urge to have a burger. The marketing is pretty appealing but would the taste equal the image? I went to McDonald's and ordered the Bacon Cheeseburger meal. I had visions of a tasty burger being complimented nicely by some wonderfully salty french fries. To my great disappointment the french fries were not fresh and the enjoyment was sapped from them. They were not exactly cold but they were close. Nothing disappoints like bad french fries. Not even knowing that they were boiled in beef fat before getting frozen, then shipped before being boiled again could cheer me up. Normally knowing how horrible these fries are for me really helps but the luke warmness stole that dream from me. I turned my attention to the burger and took a moment to take in the sight. An important factor of enjoyment is the look of the burger and I needed to take it in. The burger was a little off center as were the toppings. That was to be expected as I had watched the idiot behind the counter point out something to someone with the same hand that held my burger. Irritation caused by the memory of her waving my burger around flashed through my head as I looked at the off kilter burger but it was still an enticing sight. I picked the burger up and took a bite. I tasted nothing but bun. I was more then a little irritated at that moment but I readjusted my mind set and took another bite. I tasted the burger but nothing else. I was trying not to feel like the endeavor had been a waste of time. I took a sip of cola and picked the burger back up and hoped it had flavor this time. I had purchased a bacon cheese burger for a reason and that was the flavor. The third bite gave me what I was waiting for. A perfect mingling of cheese, burger, bacon, ketchup, mustard, and onion. I did not set the burger down this time and as soon as I had swallowed I took another bite. This bite had an overwhelming flavor of pickle. It was not the neon green slices I normally found in a fast food burger but more like a real pickle. It was interesting to taste that flavor but it was almost overwhelming. I looked at the burger while I chewes and I thought "there is something missing". I started looking at the picture on the ad they used for a tray liner. They had the three options lined up for me to gawk at and that was when I saw what was missing. The burger did not have lettuce or tomato. In fact, it is marketed without lettuce and tomato in the picture but sitting next to it is a cheeseburger with a beautiful tomato slice and lettuce leaf. I had somehow assumed it would have these and I was a little bummed to have them not be part of the party. As I sat there, wondering what McDonald's was thinking, I decided that I was going to review the burger. I set the burger down and looked at it for a moment. I examined the burger itself and saw that it looks like a pan fried burger and kind of like a boiled burger. If you cook a burger in the skillet the fat bubbles out and turns grey and stays connected. If you have never pan fried the burger you might not have seen that as the grease falls into the fire on a grill. I know that McDonald's doesn't have a grill; so I am not sure why I was surprised. Either way it was nicely browned and tasted pretty good so I picked it back up. I decided not to examine too much further and to just focus on the taste. After all I had spent 6.69 on the stupid meal (should have just bought the sandwich considering the terribleness of the fries) and I was pretty hungry. As I kept eating, the burger started tasting saltier and at a certain point it seemed all I could taste was salt, pickle and onion. The last straw was the last piece of bacon. I had not looked at the bacon before I dove in. I had stopped doing that years ago; for some odd reason they always undercook the bacon for my tastes but if I don't look I don't know and I can enjoy it. This piece of bacon just did not have the texture down and it stopped me from enjoying that bite. At that point I abandoned a quarter of the burger and 3/4of the fries. The fries were that bad. Overall my suggestion is that if you are at a McDonald's the new Angus burgers are worth trying. Perhaps your McDonald's won't be filled with incompetents (not likely but you can hope) and the burger will be evenly seasoned, the bacon will be crisp, and the french fries fresh. Perhaps if that had happened for me I would have been more excited about the experience. Either way the burger left me wanting and I will not go out of my way to get that burger again. If I have a craving for a good fast food burger I will find a Carl's Jr.

After I ate the burger I hopped on a train and went downtown to see the movie Moon. I had read a friend's review and decided I needed to see it and it was worth the trip. I am not going to review it for you as I think you should read the entry that inspired me: http://focoproject.com/2009/08/movie-review-moon/ My recommendation is to not look at any other reviews besides his because he manages not to tell you what happens. Not knowing what happens was pretty fun when the stuff started happening.



I wasn't done with my decadence yet. I had an urge to see the movie Orphan. I have been thinking of seeing it for a while now and had even cashed in all my coins to make it happen but had not made it to the theater yet. You see I wanted to go to the theater that, oddly enough, is like a block East and two blocks North of the theater Moon was playing at. I wanted that theater because their non-matinee is 8.75 when all other theaters are 10.50. The matinee of Moon cost 8.25 while the matinee of Orphan was 7.75 (same theater company). So I had been waiting until I was at that theater at the right time. The last 3 times I was near the theater the movie had already started and their was over an hour to wait. I am not great at waiting and the lack of money in my pocket (those previous 3 times) helped me to know that there were not a lot of time killing options.



The tag line says "There's something wrong with Esther" and the minute you see her you know that. This girl is wearing clothes better suited for the rich snobby girl on the Little House on the Prairie tv series. She is definitely different; in a creepy way not a fun, let's play with the imaginary aliens kind of way. Never the less, a family that is not quite over their demons and their losses decide she is perfect. You see this family already has a son and a daughter but lost a baby during delivery. Their actual daughter is deaf and doesn't utter a peep in the movie so perhaps she is also mute. The son looks like he was made to sulk. The parents meet Esther during a visit to an orphanage and immediately like her. They take her home and welcome her there with open arms, but it seems nobosy else has met her until then. At first there seems to be a dynamic set up where everyone in the house but the older son loves this girl. Once again, I found myself wondering 'why?' because this girl gives off a mega-weird vibe. Esther immediately bonds with the little girl and they seem to be inseperable. Esther even learns sign language to communicate better with the little girl and I guess one might feel comforted by that. Of course not if you have seen the previews. It isn't long before Esther's evil side is revealed and she has shoved another girl off some playground equipment. To be perfectly honest I was totally happy when that happened because that particular girl had been quite repugnant. In fact it was that scene, the scene shown in the previews, that made me like Esther. Suddenly I was hoping that the review I had read, prior to seeing the film, that talked about the surprise ending was suggesing a surprise ending more along the lines of Uninvited. Of course to get that reference you would have to be one of the 12 people who has seen Uninvited. Either way Esther has just gotten started being evil. I did not completely anticipate the twist at the end... in fact I probably caught on like 5 seconds before the movie expected you to catch on. Then again maybe I caught on right where everyone else did. Of course I have decided it must have been the 5 seconds earlier then everyone else because it sounds better. You know somehow not super cocky but better... ;) I enjoyed this movie. It was not great or groundbreaking. If you are not a horror/suspense person then there is no need to rush out and see it but if you like these kind of flicks you should see it. Do yourself a favor don't read anything about the twist and see if you can beat my "5 seconds before the twist is revealed" record. As I said, during the movie I started liking her. Evilness and all. I almost wanted her to get away with it but that little deaf girl was adorable and I knew I had to root for her. There is no way a cute little deaf girl could live and Esther could live at the end of a movie like this. The movie is not without faults. The fiorst is that somehow Esther is not in trouble for pushing a girl off the jungle gym. The girl breaks her leg and tells people she was pushed by Esther but nothing happens. I am fairly certain that wouldn't happen. You can't be accused of pushing someone off the jungle gym and then just get out of it. Most of the plot relies on the disfunction of the family to allow for nobody to trust each other. If you think too much about that part this story gets a litle far fetched but don't think; just watch.

The nicest thing about seeing Orphan was the walk to the train. I decided to stop into Powell's on the way. I picked up a book and sat to read a little bit of it. I was not the only person reading over there and I was thinking I might stay. Suddenly a couple came in. I would say they were older then I am and probably older then my older siblings as well. The woman was talking really loudly and they sat right next to me. They both took out laptops and she kept yapping the entire time. I was annoyed by this because there is another side that has more tables and computers already set up. It seemed like they should have sat there as that seemed more of a place to do it at. I was feeling annoyed by her non-stop yappiness so I kept making eye contact with her, in an effort to shame her, but she kept talking. I have begun to wonder if people can be shamed anymore.... The worst part was her partner was not listening to her and she was not on a phone. This guy wasn't even humoring her with an occasional "mm-hmm" but she kept talking. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and left. As I walked the remaining blocks to the train stop I envisioned having Esther around to kill her off. It was very satisyfying.

Anyway I am back on a budget tomorrow.

Get off your high horse!

What is it, exactly, that makes people feel they need to give someone "a dose of reality"? How does this "reality" benefit the recipient? How does it benefit the "soothsayer"? Is your harsh slap of "reality" really preparing me for anything? Wait, let me boil this down to my "essential questions"?

1. Is your "dose of reality" needed?
2. Who made you the reality police, you classless hack?

If you feel like you walked in somewhere near the middle of this rant, you probably did. I should probably take a few steps back. As a lot of my readers know, I am in school to become a teacher. When I get done I will have earned a Masters in Education. I have confessed in recent weeks that I am done. That is, done with enjoying school or deluding myself into thinking I can learn something from it. That is the state of my mind as you read this post. You may want to use that knowledge as a filter.

Class started normally today. My team got together an hour and a half before class and brought our unit together. We were as ready to present as we ever are. We tend to go up there and wing it. Perhaps it isn't the best strategy but it is our favorite strategy for these monotonous and never ending presentations. I used to try to be funny and entertaining but lately I have changed my approach. My new approach is to give the bare minimum as quickly as I can. The humor and entertaining kept biting me in the butt. My classmates were more interested in focusing on their presentations and the teachers never seem to get my humor. We gave our presentation first today. I mention this for a few reasons and one of them is that we usually don't go first.

Another reason I mention it is because I am telling a story and order is important in a story.

We did our presentation and had a few interruptions and random questions from the teacher but we don't care. We don't care as a group. We just want the class to be over and receive a passing grade. All the other details (like if they thought we should add something, be more clear or if I need to dance during delivery) are just that.... details. The details were only mildly interesting to me today because I know I will see this teacher again for the next class. My next 6 week class (starting next week) has him leading the charge again. I was paying a little attention so if I have a lesson plan to create I can meet his expectations. That whole issue, of meeting the teacher's expectations, is where this story goes South. Maybe I should back up a little bit.

The University of Phoenix uses teachers and principals to teach the classes. On one hand that is a good thing. The teacher is dealing with the real world in a classroom setting while they are also teaching us. Which means it is not some fossilized professor who last taught in public schools somewhere around 1910. For a lot of the class discussions this current experience can be handy. Of course most people have two hands and this issue has two hands. On the terrible, devil worshipping hand we have the people who seem to need to introduce us to reality. These people go out of their way to tell you how hard the teaching world is and how we need to be "aware" of that before we start teaching. Another favorite reminder of these teachers is that most new teachers burn out within 4 years. It is almost like they are trying to reduce the number from 4 years to teachers burning out in the 3 months prior to actually teaching. This teacher was of the latter variety (the devil worshipping evil hand variety).

So here we are back in the classroom, the second group starts presenting and he makes a few points. You know by stopping them and telling us what we are doing wrong as a group based off of their examples. I am only half listening and if I could have put in ear phones to drown out that half I would have. One of his little soap box topics is "Differentiated Instruction". A buzz word that basically means realizing there are more then one level of student in class and your instruction needs to engage them all. So you need to show how you would change this lesson up enough so that it comes across to the learning disabled, non-English speaking students, and the super brainy kids. What the teacher seemed to be trying to say was that we should build differentiation into the lesson automatically and forget about showing how we will target certain issues. We, as a group, had been trying to envision how we would help the groups individually. Let me give an example:

What we were doing - We have a lesson about writing a book report. We lay out the lesson and then we try and figure out what to do for the learning disabled and we would write that idea down. Then we would think of the brainy kid and come up with something for him. So basically we were making little custom lessons.

What he was trying to explain to us: Say we are going to be focusing on writing again. He pulls a set of articles on a similar topic that are written at various levels. What the student does is takes the article reads it and responds in an essay form to it. Everyone is writing an essay about an article they read but instead of focusing on one article we find several and hand them out to the various levels. Instead of building the lesson and then considering the special cases, we start by building the lesson to incoporate a variety of levels (instead of one article we select 10) and then use these levels to properly challenge the various students. This idea makes sense. It makes more sense then the hard way we have been doing it for a year and a half.

Unfortunately it took another hour and a half for him to explain what he was talking about in a manner that made sense.

Let's get back to the story. So here we are listening to his inane rambling about differentiated instruction. What he was saying sounded like this: "You guys are doing this wrong!" The way he was talking struck a nerve with a classmate and she began demanding to know what exactly we were surprised to do about it. First off, this is a PE and Health class and differentiating for a super smart kid makes no freaking sense. You see we were "differentiating" the way we were taught in the beginning (making a lesson and then considering 3 very concrete yet extremely generic variations) and that was not what he wanted. As she was demanding answers it quickly escalated into an argument. He kept saying what he said originally and that was not answering the question she was asking; which was frustrating her. The problem of course was we were all trying to do what we had been shown in previous classes and he had a completely different lesson plan playbook in mind. This "discussion" took an hour. Somewhere very near the end it devolved into her no longer speaking and him telling her to get over it. It ended with her crying and my friend Cat telling him he hurt that person's feelings and he should try saying things more positively and less aggressively. His response was that he was being realistic and he didn't care. All in all, it was an awesome display of teaching.

So this major "to do" got me thinking. I figure part of the issue with the stress caused by lesson plans is that the University of Phoenix does not have a universally taught lesson plan. Every teacher sees the lesson plan components differently and every lesson plan constructed for a new teacher is a risky venture. Especially lately, when we have been flayed open and roasted. Add to this the somewhat flippant remarks by this teacher and you get someone harboring a little irritation. His comments ignited the kindling aka irritation) she had stored up after reading his earlier comments on her prior work. Should she have sat on her feelings and let it fester into what happened today? No, she should have emailed him the first time his remarks irritated her. Hindsight and a sense of detachment are easy to do when you barely register the comments anymore; meaning it is easy for me to say. Of course everyone has a breaking point and I am thinking she had reached it but had originally planned to just get this class behind her when that kindling was ignited. It was sudden, fierce and a little scary but it should have been over within 2 minutes if a sane person had responded to her. Of course that was not what happened.

The fact that every teacher has a different idea of what our lesson plans should look like has been a pet peeve of everyone in class for a long time. Why the school couldn't just pick one and tell the teachers it is the one they need to use with us is a good question. To this teacher the answer is that the school systems are different and adaptability is important. Which is all fine and good if we were going out and learning in several different school districts but we aren't; we are attending one univesity. Why the freaking university can't pick the most current model and make everyone follow it is not answered by saying "The teaching world is filled with differing ideas." The fact of the matter is that when we go to work somewhere we probably won't make lesson plans like this again but spouting off this fact does not prevent them from shoveling this load of manure down my throat. My question becomes how using "reality" is a valid argument when their "reality" is not actually reality? For purely hypothetical reasons, say that we do file our own original lesson plans with our future principal. Would that principal really change his style every 4 weeks? Would they have completely different (and some what conflicting) ideas everytime I passed their office? I think we all know that the answer is no. So not having a universal lesson plan model is just creating problems and stress for the student.

Of course, then we have the teacher. Comments like "Seriously!" should not come out of your mouth as a response to anything when you are teaching. No matter how old they are or how close to graduation they are. It is condescending, rude and will put people on the defensive. If you feel your message needs to be heard then don't offend people. You are talking to a group of people who aren't teaching yet and we are basing all our knowledge on what we have been told in the f***ing school you work for. So responding condescendingly, about what I don't know about teaching, only makes you look like an ass. Once again, looking like an ass is not helping us to understand your point. The other thing that is not helpful is to get more obtuse the longer the argument goes on. Repeating yourself continuously and then throwing in non-relevant arguments is not how an intelligent person explains their point. The answer to "How do I differentiate anything if everything I do is wrong?" has nothing to do with teacher burnout, proper spelling or whether the teaching world is easy. What was said was very unclear and unhelpful; if truth be told it was actually mean spirited and pointless. It wasn't until the end of class that he said anything that made sense. I understand needing to back up, put the conversation on hold and collect your thoughts to make better sense of your point. Especially when an entire room is getting up in arms about what you are saying. That issue of needing a moment or two is something I run into when I am talking to someone about something I believe in strongly. I would be amazed if she took in any of the comments after that "discussion". I am admitting that I think his ideas on showing differentiation in my future lesson plans helped me understand the point and intent behind it. I think it was good advice but the delivery was all wrong.

Then there is the issue of people feeling it is their purpose to inject me with a "dose of reality". Look.... I am not 19. I have been in the real world and I know that nothing is as easy as it seems. I understand that more work is done by a school teacher in the first hour of school then anything that happens in an entire day answering phones for an insurance company. You telling me about how much everything sucks will not help me. First of all, I need to go out and learn for myself. I will never just take some random person's word for something I have invested this much time and money into. This is also not taking into consideration the fact that I have grown up surrounded by teachers. I have heard them "talk shop" my whole life. Nothing you say to me about the hard parts of the job are going to be something I haven't heard before. If anything I should probably be questioning you on what you know about the issues of working outside of education. I don't have some Candyland version of teaching floating around in my head. I understand that it will be hard and challenging every single day. I understand the first couple years will be a lot of work as I develop my style and start cataloging my lesson plan ideas. The mere fact that you think we need "the real scoop" from you is amazing. What are your words of doom and gloom going to do for me? Nothing because I still plan on graduating. I have put too much money and time into walk away at this point. If I do burn out in four years then that is what happens and nothing you say about "reality" a month before student teaching is changing that.

I would like to end this post with a quote from Wedding Crashers. In the beginning of that movie, Rebecca De Mornay is heatedly discussing divorce issues with her husband when she utters a very apt phrase: "You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!"

The Advantage - a poem

I would follow you anywhere
Even when you pretend I am not there.
I wait everyday
For you to call my name
Days fly by
I am getting older
Yet you continue to stun,
With your unaltered beauty.
I get crabbier and
You get more desirable.
My life slips by
And yet I wait,
Simply hoping to be noticed.

Hot enough for ya?

If you glimpsed the temperatures in the Northwest corner of the US you may have seen that we broke 100 degrees several days in a row. It was hot and a good majority of us do not have air conditioning. So we all went to the movies (those with a few bucks), the mall, and the library. Every place that offered a spot to sit in the air conditioning was packed and not until they closed their doors did we head home to face our homes from Hades. I have been unable to get a good night of sleep because of the heat. It was suffocating and no amount of fans could cool off my apartment. I am letting you know this for a reason. I am building toward a point.... really!

It was unbelievably hot and miserable this entire week. I spent a lot of my evening lounging around in boxer shorts. It was too hot! Of course when the heat started really putting out the waves aroud mid morning, I would shower (in an attempt to wash the sheen of sweat off) and head to a place away from my apartment. A place with air conditioning. I was doing all I could do to stay cool. Except for walking around town with my shirt off. I get it.... it is not against the law for men to be topless. So walking around shirtless is not illegal. No man will go to jail or even receive a ticket for taking off their shirt. But does that make this ok?

I am thinking no. I am not standing on a soapbox saying that the fact that women can't do this makes it unfair. I am not saying that topless women should flood the streets and overturn an unjust rule. Sure, there are quite a few women I would love to watch run around topless when ever they wished. I think that topless women can be an awesome thing. Of course the drawback is that you would have the problem of the not so attractive people flopping out the goods. The reality is that 3/4 of the women I saw today should stay clothed. Even this is not the reason I am against males going shirtless. I am not irritated by the inequality of the sexes when it comes to toplessness. If you think about it the whole tabooo-ness of topless women is what drives sales of some adult magazines and gets tips at the topless bars. The balancing of the topless scales would eliminate thousands if not millions of revenue for people. We wouldn't want that to happen. A stripper has to eat too!

So what is the reason? I mentioned the 3/4 of non-appealing ladies when I nixed the topless ladies idea. Well men have the same issue but if you ask me the scales are tipped more substantially against men. I am not even talking about my own sexual tastes here. I can admit their are some dudes that look specifically designed to keep their shirt off. I would like to add that I do not see myself in this subset. It's the people who are in the 7/8ths of the male population, the ones that should remain clothed in public places, that insist on walking around sans shirt. So right here I am making a stand against topless men and here is my rallying cry: I do not want to see you half naked on the city streets.

My feeling is that if a person is near a beach, lake, river, pool, in a park soaking in rays, or in and around their home they are more then welcome to be shirtless. In fact I say this about both sexes, attractive or unattractive, old or young, toothpick or beached whale. Go shirtless, if you want, in the places I have described. I am talking about the context of the toplessness; it is an important detail. Leaving the context out of your shirtlessness is like deciding you don't really need an engine in your car. So please America, put your shirts back on. Nobody wants to see your beer belly, your fur-like covering of hair, your weird tan lines, the innie or outie belly button, or your deformed nipple. Put your shirt back on before you wait for the bus. Put your shirt back on before you go to the grocery store. Put your shirt back on when you ride the Max trains. Put your shirt back on when you are 80 years old and sitting outside your nursing home. Put your shirt back on anytime you leave the safe zones I have described.

Thoughts on "Who killed the electric car?"

I just got done watching Who Killed the Electric Car?

I enjoyed watching this little documentary and found out a lot about a car I do not remember hearing about. They basically decide everybody involved on all sides are at fault for not having the electric car "widely" available today. The car companies for fighting so hard to have it fail while at the same time paying lip service to the lack of interest on a car they completely fail to properly market. The oil companies because we all know people making billions don't want to make less money and that all oil execs are basically vampires. Then the government and their evil plot to keep us from anything not oil related. Then the consumer who failed to realize the car was perfect for them. I liked the movie but I had some issues with it.

First off I took issue with them finding fault with the consumers of America. I find it hard to believe that people who knew nothing about the existence of the car can be at fault for not buying it. Supposedly it was marketed in California and Arizona but I am not aware of anyone who had one. From what I could tell from the story the car companies made it nearly impossible to get from the electric car waiting list into one of the cars. Which means that if I knew about it I would have run into the issue of being a poor college student. Oh yeah and the small issue of not in the market for a new car. In fact, I still have never owned a new car because they are freaking expensive. So I would have had to wait until the became used cars before it was an economically viable option for me. They never became used cars because the companies leased them and did not sell them to people. When the lease ran out people had to turn them in and most did not have the option to get an extension on the lease. Actually from what I could tel no one was allowed to extend the lease.

Second issue was the description of the car as sexy. The focus of this documentary was GM's ev-1. It had the weird rear wheel that was half covered thing like the first Insight did. The rest of the design was better looking then the Insight was (is?) but I would not attach the word sexy to it. Then there was a lot of talk about the car being fast but they did not really give me an understandable measure of what that meant. They did not use the standard measure of 0 to 60 in whatever seconds so I had to take their word for it. It is one thing to assume that I am interested in electric cars and there by have an issue with the oil companies. I don't like paying for gas and my car has broken down enough to seriously burn the idea of ever enjoying driving a car again. So that is a belief I can allow them to assume. I can not allow them to assume I will believe that a car was "fast" without any real data to back that up. It is a line too far out there for me.

Next down the list is getting 60 to 120 miles per charge. They are right, most of my driving would comfortably fit between these estimates. I don't go near 120 miles in one day on a normal day. However, what do I do if I want to visit my dad's? His house is almost 200 miles away. What would happen to me in that situation? Assuming we had built a recharging station, how long would a recharge take? And yes the answer does matter. Say that somehow I got the car when I was in college... when these things first came out. I would not make it from Flagstaff to Phoenix.... ever. My first job after college was probably 60 miles round trip.... was I expected to recharge at work? I can imagine that going over well. Basically that leaves me with a couple options for making a trip of 200 miles I rent a gas fueled car, I ride the bus (shudder), I take the train (which seems kinda nice), or I sit at a refueling station that might exist for an unspecified amount of time while I recharge. I guess I could own two cars.... how about that for the ol' pocketbook. A car for distance trips and my "getting around town" electric car. So no matter what they say the limited range is an issue. Maybe not the insurmountable obstacle that some people think it is but definitely an issue.

Then we get into the big business issues. This is a weird country where making money is desired unless it is too much money. Yes Big Oil is bending us over the gasoline table and they will continue to do so as long as they can. We are capitalists; deal with it. The thing that isn't fair is when the government fails to help parties interested in competing with the monopoly. Make no mistake that Big Oil is a monopoly; there might be a handful of companies but they definitely work together to keep their profits rising. The actions of the federal government to stop the California Zero Emission policy was wrong. We have had to force auto makers to change how cars were made for every advancement. Seat belts, air bags, miles per gallon and emissions standards. So California was doing what needed to be done. Of course when push came to shove they buckled but you try not giving in when the US government, Big Oil and major car companies are breathing down your neck. Especially when 2 of the 3 help you get elected to office.

The car companies. What can be said besides "OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS ARE STUPID!!!!" I think the last few years have shown how this is only one story where they shot themselves in the foot. The American car companies are doing their best to kill themselves from what I can tell. Good job guys! Of course this movie pointed out that the foreign companies followed GM's lead in destroying their electric vehicles as well. Even though they have more hybrid options they aren't doing as much as they can. The funny thing is if the big 3 had started working on better fuel economy as they were scrapping the electric vehicle they might have been doing better. The cars I have looked at in the past that were American car companies hybrids have been barely better then the regular cars. How about upping the fuel economy in a completely gas run car? Who does that hurt? I guess the oil companies.... but not completely as we would still be buying gas. It's not like they don't keep screwing us over all the time anyway whose to say they couldn't do so even with better fuel economy. What if gas prices stayed at 4 or 5 bucks per gallon but I was getting 50 to 60 miles to the gallon? I would be happier and I would know that even though the cost to fill up was more I could go twice as far per tank. Add value to the product. Instead the bigwigs at GM decided let's put our money into a car that is lucky to get 8 miles to the gallon... Go Hummers! Here is a good example of the consumer being retarded. The Hummer is such a retarded status symbol!

Anyway the movie was interesting and entertaining and thought provoking; even if it seemed to side step some of the issues and show them as not being worth discussing. I would have liked more technical facts and less wealthy people telling me how ultimately orgasmic their experience with the ev-1 was. I got the point very quickly that people who had the car loved the car. I did not need to have them beat that into my head.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: A Rambling Review

I would be remiss if I failed to review the biggest movie of the summer. Especially considering I saw it this last weekend. You know..... my drunken all nighter weekend. ;)

Let it be said that I was ready for this movie. As ready as almost any Potter dork could be. I rewatched all 5 of the previous movies. I went out and purchased the 6th book and reread it. Then when that was done I reread the 7th book. Just for good measure. When the movie came out I was totally ready to see it and it was excruciating not to see it on opening day. It was excruciating even knowing that I only had 40 dollars to my name. I had long ago decided to wait until I could see it with my dad and nephew Ricky. So I made myself wait..... Was the movie worth it?



Yes, the movie was worth it. It was not completelty like the book though. Before you pull out your soap box and lecture me about the difficultes of literally translating a 652 page book into a 2 and a half hour movie just hear me out. The begining of the book has the real world British Prime Minister getting a visit from the Minister of Magic. This did not happen in the movie and although I can see easily why this was cut (the British Prime Minister does not help the plot nor does he reappear later) I was still bummed that it didn't happen. I like the book beginning with how the return of an evil wizard has affected the non-magic world. You do see that the magical war is affecting the muggles (what magicals call non-magicals) in the movie but that part of the book was rather amusing. Of course it would probably have been too difficult to pull off because she writes it through the mind of the muggle Prime Minister. So they probably made a good cut to keep the movie flowing. They deviated from the story a little bit in other ways as well and I have decided to discuss a few of them.

Warning! Between the two bolded small paragraphs is an italicized section where I discuss points of the movie. I certainly will be discussing the ending in this area. If you have managed to go this long and are (somehow) unaware of the ending of the book/movie 6 please avoid this section. If you are in the other camp and have read the book and want to watch the movie with out my take on the ending then do not read this section either. After the next bold paragraph will be the review minus the overly revealing plot points.

Harry is distraught at the end of book/movie 5. His godfather is dead and Harry had a small role in bringing Sirius to the ministry where he would eventually be killed. His dreams of a family life and someone who could be like a father to him are over and so we join him at the beginning of book 6 hiding out in his room at the Dursleys. The room is a mess and you get the feeling he has not been out of it often that summer. Dumbledore has warned Harry he would be by to pick him up and escort him to the Burrow (the Weasley's domicile). For whatever reason Harry has taken no precaution to be in any state of readiness for this visit. He has not let his Uncle know and he hasn't packed. It seems we are supposed to realize that the broken promise of a life with Sirius has kind of made him doubt the adults around him. In the movie we find Harry sitting in a coffee shop in the London underground. He is reading the Daily Prophet (with the usually moving pictures) and ends up setting a meeting with a pretty cute waitress. Instead of going on a date that evening Dumbledore arrives and whisks him away to get Slughorn. If you ask me this was a better take on Harry Potter's personality. As far as I am concerned he must feel he has nothing left to lose. A prophecy saying it is he or Voldemort dying as an end to this feud and he death of Sirius would definitey prompt him to start taking risks. So here he is wandering the world that he can't do magic in and reading a magical newspaper. He is acting like someone who has faced and lived through Voldemort's attacks 5 times (at the age of 1, 11, 12, 14, and 15). He went from hero to villain to the chosen one. His life in the magical world has been difficult, challenging, fun and heartbreaking. Even then when he gets back to muggleville he waits feverishly for summer to end and school to resume. It only seems natural that he would be taking a few risks and finding ways to make it a passable summer; one in which he can tempoarily forget the loss of another person.

The next change is that the Hagrid storyline is barely there. In the book, Hagrid is bummed that Hermione, Ron and Harry did not sign up for his care of magical creatures class. Of course most of the last few movies have kind of cut a lot of Hagrid's role. I was perfectly fine with them doing this to tell you the truth as I found the note about Aragog's funeral to be ridiculous. I just couldn't see Hagrid wanting his favorite people risking expulsion to bury a dead spider, no matter how deluded he was about Aragog's personality. Once again the movie gets a silly storyline elimination right. Harry does get the confession from Slughorn after Aragog's funeral but it all comes down to a whim caused by the luck potion he drinks.

Then there is Christmas. In the movie there is a fight outside of the Weasleys' home and the destruction of the burrow. This did not happen in the book. I liked it because I needed a little action at this point and this provided it. Plus I love Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange and I figure more of her taunting is definitely ok. Of course their is no answered questions about how this destruction will affect the 7th movie. It is a safe place in all the books (including the 6th book) and it does not fall under attack until the beginning of the 7th book. So one must wonder what happened directly after the fire and how this loss was resolved. It certainly shatters any delusions of a safe haven for Harry.

They cut out the new minister of magic's appearance and his attempt to woo Harry to his side. I liked this part of the story but I can see cutting it. JK Rowling lays the groundwork here and has this battle of wills a few times in the book only to get rid of him early in the 7th book. He was a character that was not necessary to the plot besides drilling the fact in about how loyal Harry is to Dumbledore. Of course her treatment of how Harry handles the task given to him by Dumbledore (getting Slughorn's secret) sends an opposite message. It says he is all talk and little action. Luckily they treated him digging for the secret differently in this movie. He is watching Malfoy but not as obsessively as in the book and no one is yelling at him to stop neglecting his duty to Dumbledore. That part of the book irritated me and I was glad it was eliminated. Instead, Dumbledore reveals the task much later and after the failed attempt Harry can't get a minute with Slughorn until the trip to Hagrid's. You never get the feeling he isn't trying.

Let's skip to the ending. They played this one completely different. During the book's ending Harry arrives with a weakened Dumbledore to find a dark mark above the school. They get to the tower and Harry is under the invisibility cloak and gets a petrification curse to keep him from interfering at all. Everything happens in front of his eyes but there is no way for him to change anything. The curse is lifted only when Dumbledore dies and then he is running after the Death Eaters through a battlefield of the Order, the DA and more Death Eaters. People know they are under attack and he is running past them screaming at Snape. It was an intense scene and I was amazed that they would completely change it. This time I think the movie makes a mistake. First off in the movie Harry is unfettered by a petrification curse and is not under an invisibility cloak. He is hiding below watching when Snape comes up and shows him the universal "be quiet" gesture (the finger to the lips). Harry puts his trust into Snape; something he has never done in any of the previous movies or books and watches him kill Dumbledore. Then there is no battle raging on, the death mark is only cast after Dumbledore is killed, no one is roaming the halls and the handful of Death Eaters are cackling and breaking goblets in the feast room. Harry does not catch up to them until the field outside of Hagrid's hut. If he wasn't frozen in place what was he doing all that time? He was up and watching it happen not stuck watching something happen without being able to move. It seems to me they changed the dynamic here. Harry should have gotten at least one of the Death Eaters in this altered ending. Plus with the lack of a battle going on how did anyone know to come out to see the body? The battle happened outside and it wasn't much of one. I felt like the final betrayal of Snape in the 6th book was poignant but in the 6th movie it seemed lacking. In the book, Dumbledore is not even able to stand when Snape comes in and kills him. It seems much more like Dumbledore is pleading for help. In the movie it seems like Dumbledore is finishing the argument he and Snape had before the night began. Which in fact is what it was but we have no inkling of that until the end of book 7. Dumbledore looked too confident and in control; evena s he recieves te killing curse. It was way more of an Obi-Wan Kenobi sacrificial ending then an old man defeated. I also missed the chaos of battle that Harry runs through to catch up while attempting to kill Snape. That allowed us to know why it took him so long to catch up. He was ducking killing curses and it had taken a moment to realize he was no longer paralyzed. I also felt that this movie needed a battle at the end as the action was lacking a bit. The various supporting characters really needed to be ready for a fight and then have the blow of losing Dumbledore to properly set the stage for the 7th movie's opening feel. It is always best to end at as low of a point as possible. Instead they seem to been caught unaware and that seems silly. I think having most of the order of the Phoenix, the aurors and a few of the DA roaming the halls trying to protect the school and failing is a better way to set up the impossibility of the task set forth in the 7th book. Instead a small group of people sneak in and kill the main dude in charge and then walk brazenly out the front door unmolested. It was insulting!

They also left a lot of the silliness of the Gryffindor quidditch team tryouts out and just left in Cormac and Ron's face off. I was sad to not see the inanity of kids from other houses coming out to try out with the whole school looking on. Of course, once again, I can see why they did that; it wasn't really necessary for the plot.

They cut out the crazy making out of Harry and Ginny and kept it as just a little kiss here and there. They also left out Harry telling her at the end he is too busy to be in a relationship with her and the whole "it's too dangerous" crap. I liked them leaving it out a little better because I saw it as silly.

And finally.... Harry only uses the invisibility cloak once in this movie which was a little weird. Instead he seems to have inherited a great streak of luck to avoid being caught and the ability to go undetected whenever he decides to.


The review will now go back to being ending obscure.....

The movie begins amidst a troubled time for the world; for magic and non-magic citizens alike. The Death Eaters are active and running amuck and people are afraid regardless if they know what is going on. Of course being a kid you still have to go to school and Harry finds himself back at Hogwarts. Probably one of the few kids who has ever continually looked forward to the start of school. We are introduced to a goofy new character almost immediately, a Professor Slughorn. Slughorn has a key role to play in the movie, the unlocking of secrets, and it falls on Harry's shoulders to make it happen. Except that there is more going on then Slughorn. Snape gets promoted to the Defense Against the Dark Arts post much to the displeasure of most of the students and he seems to be up to something. He makes an unbreakable vow to help Draco Malfoy out in completing a dangerous task he has been given by Voldemort. Harry sees Draco up to no good in Knockturn Alley and decides he must be a Death Eater even though no one believes him. Harry is spending time with Dumbledore learning the secrets of Voldemort's past in adition to his classes. There is a lot going on for Harry this year and yet we haven't even touched on the mystery of who the Half Blood Prince is. The only clue is an inscription in Harry's used Potions book that says "Property of the Half Blood Prince". Is this mysterious person good or bad. Is his help really something Harry should follow so blindly?

The movie is an interestingly dark story and holds true to the spirit of the book if not to the exact letter. Harry is dealing with more and more pressures as his world has once again changed. No longer the outcast he became in the 5th movie after the Daily Prophet's lies about him fabricating the return of Voldemort. He is now being touted as the 'chosen one' and the world is eager to have a piece of him. At the same time he is being asked, by Dumbledore, to be more active in his duties and is meeting with him regularly. He is trying to butter up Professor Slughorn while keeping an eye on Draco, questioning Snape's loyalty, not being believed when he shares his fears about Draco and Snape, captaining the quidditch team, handling his course load, playing intermediary between friends and pining for Ginny (Ron's sister). There is a lot on his plate and the movie does a good job of showing that but not beating us over the head with it. There are some differences between the movie and the book and some are good and only one is completely bad but over all I recommend this movie. Go out and see it today.

Seriously!

I should have known my confession of a 5 AM beer would raise concern..... Maybe I am naive. Or maybe I believe that writers have certain privileges. You know like writers can explore the darker side of thoughts and feelings without the suicide hotline being called on to make a house call. I didn't know they made house calls until I wrote that blog. Another thing I think falls under writers' privilege is the ability to exaggerate. For example the whole sentence about the suicide hotline people making a house call. Or the whole drinking all night thing. Let me tell the real story.

I definitely had been up all night but in reality my drinking started at dinner at 10PM. I had a glass of wine with my salmon.

Then I decided to switch to beer but I was watching anime and wanted to wait until the episode was over. When it was over I started another episode, forgetting about the beer, and when that episode was over I remembered the beer.... it was a little after midnight at this point. I drank the beer while watching another couple shows and I decided to have another. The beer I had just drank was the last one of it's kind and I had a decision to make. This time I decided to have a half and half (a beer that is half Harps and half Guinness). I poured the beer so that the guiness hung nicely over the Harps and put the slightly over half full bottles back in the fridge and went back to watching shows online.

When I finished the mixture I relaxed for a while. In fact I forgot all about the beers in the fridge and I was drinking a peach tea. I have the little packets you can buy and pour into a bottle of water. They are less calories then soda (or the previously mentioned alcoholic beverages) and they provide a little variety in my drink choices. I get bored only drinking water so I have bought these hoping they would stem my craving for soda. It works mainly because I have no soda in my house and no available money to waste on soda. Either way by the time I finished that tea it was nearly 4 am. I was almost finished watching this anime series; just two more episodes left. I was hungry and had not eaten in 6 hours so I went to the fridge to reheat the side dish I had eaten with the salmon, black beans and rice. I saw the two open bottles and felt that I should finish them off. So I heated up the rice and beans and poured the mixture and admired the beauty that is a Half and Half. Unfortunately there was still a little left in each bottle.... the glass I was using must not hold 16 ounces.

I went back and watched another episode and then decided to tell about my week. It had been a week from holy Heck and I wanted to get some stress off my back. I find that I tend to write pretty well in the blog window. For some odd reason I can just write and write without really running out of things to say. It is the reason the stories pop up from time to time. I dont usually write as much in my notebooks and I run into a writer's block scenario when I see a large blank Word document. Something about the little blog post box makes me write.

I poured the last little bit of each bottle into the glass and sat down to write that update. I decided to make an issue of the time and the beverage in my hands. It made it fun....

Later that day, after sleeping for a few hours, I was headed to my dad's house. I got a distressed call from my mother.... the blog had worried her. When I got online I had a couple readers email me to see if I was alright. Apparently I had struck the "OH NO!!!" chord with that blog. I reread it before I posted it at 5:30 AM and felt proud. The blog had made me chuckle and I felt better just having confessed my concerns. I decided to post the entry because I really thought it was a good entry. I may have a weird sense of what is good.... but don't worry I have no intentions of doing any harm to myself. I have thought of storming government facilities and unleashing a computer virus that would reroute all the bailout money to the people and away from companies that suck. I have thought about flying to Phoenix and using a chainsaw to cutdown the traffic camera that took my picture and dispose of it in places that might be highly uncomfortable for those responsible for instituting trafic cams. I have even thought about reinventing Robin Hood and his band of malcontents... which would include a few hackers, bank robbers, some bashers, that guy who wrote that program that stole tenths of pennies from all business transactions, maybe a few wizards (according to the Potter movie Harry Potter dropped out of school, he could help), Tyler Durden, and maybe those monsters from Where the Wild Things Are. Of course I won't do any of this stuff; I will merely daydream about it. But I will do is exaggerate my alcohol intake and write blogs where I whine a lot. :)

Because I haven't written in a while

Why, at 5 AM, I am sitting here drinking is a question I can't answer. I didn't mean to spend the night and early hours drinking but it happened anyway. I would love to apologize for this violation of adult responsibilities and observance of proper drinking hours. I would love to say that I was sorry or sickened by my actions but at the same time I am trying not to tell lies... like George Washington (minus the fictitional cherry tree). What I am saying is that I do not have any contrite words to partner with my actions. Hold on...

Had to take a quick drink.

Much better.

Anyway it is 5 in the morning and I am finishing my (possibly) last drink. To be fair I started late in the evening and I have been feeling a little stressed. The money situation I find myself in would be better drowned in a constant flow of alcohol but I lack that kind of money. You see the government is not paying unemployment wages because going to school twice a month might mean I am unable to take a job. How twice a month means I am being impossible and hard to deal with is beyond my mental capacity.... Hold on.... Just a quick sip.... Ahhhh.

Oh and the school is taking their sweet time, getting their ducks in a row, when they should be sending some financial aid my way. To add to my constant state of worry I woke up at 7 AM because I recieved a text message from my cellular service letting me know I had a new bill waiting for me. This rude awakening helped me see my crisis a little clearer (holy crap.... I have bills!) and as a result the house of cards that I had taken refuge behind was tipped over. I came face to face with the full spectrum of my money woes. My heart started racing, even as I tried to fall back asleep, and I could not calm down. This was how I greeted the day and the urge to rob a bank has not left me since.

I originally thought that a glass of wine would calm my nerves and send me into dream land. As of yet the fierce "hamster ball" like workings of my mind continue to roll on. Not even when I switched to beer did it stop. My mind is in panic overdive. So I wrote this little note to let you know where my head is at. I also wrote this note to get some of the stress and worry out of my system. And of course I wrote this note because I hadn't written in a while......

The Unlikely Disciple - A Rambling Review

I recently picked up an unlikely book at Barnes and Noble and read a 3rd of it before they closed. It was an unlikely book because it does not fall easily into my usual choices. It was a real story written by a young journalist hopeful. There are no wizards, vampires, zombies or epic sword fights. Instead there is one person's journey into an unknown and bizarre world. The world of the Evangelist college student, a place where few non-Evangelists enter. Anyway I read a third of it before Barnes and Noble announced that the impending closing time had arrived. Fueled by impulse, I walked the book to the counter and bought it. That way I could bring you my rambling review of The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University by Kevin Roose.


Kevin Roose is still in college, at least he was when this book was published. He was a senior at Brown. At the beginning of the book he is attending Browne as well but had been captivated by Liberty University on an excursion with his employer. His employer, A.J. Jacobs, wrote the book The Year of Living Biblically and had taken Kevin along to Jerry Falwell's church Thomas Road. At Thomas Road he had an awkward conversation with a couple college aged church goers. They were attending Liberty University and by extension attended Thomas Road church every Sunday. Liberty University was started by Reverend Jerry Falwell and Thomas Road is on one end of the campus making for easy access. The school has a strict set of rules built around keeping the students from the evils of secular colleges (you know... all the fun stuff). The more Kevin reflected on his awkward conversation the more he began to be interested in the vast divide between Evangelists and most of American society. Suddenly he felt the urge to experience Liberty first hand and enrolls in the school. He had to pave the way for this move with Brown University, his Quaker parents and a group of family and friends that think he might be making the biggest mistake of his life.

Luckily for us, Kevin eventually got everything set up to go to Liberty for a semester. He decided that he needed to be undercover for the assignment to work and he concocted a story about recently becoming an Evangelist. With the help of a friend, who had been raised in an Evangelist household, he prepped as much as possible for his adventure. It was a good thing he had thought about it ahead of time because almost immediately people asked about his religious beliefs and if he had been saved. Expecting the worst stereotypes to be made flesh, Kevin is surprised at the warm welcome he receives. He actively pursues the lifestyle he is trying to investigate. In doing so, he says yes to prayer groups, bible studies, mentor meetings with a pastor, and even becomes part of the Thomas Road choir. Along the way he makes friends, meets a fun and enticing girl, attends a group for men that encourages them to battle against masturbation, goes to Panama Beach during spring break with a group determined to proselytize to the drunken debaucherous masses and gets the last print interview with Rev. Jerry Falwell.

Of course not all is fun and light at this university. Immediately he runs into homophobic slurs and attitudes. He witnesses a racial divide when a black friend begins dating a white girl. He has a roommate who starts to intensely dislike him; to the point where I began to wonder if he was safe sharing a room with the guy. Worst of all he begins to have severe guilt about lying to all these people he is growing closer to. Not to mention a severely worried family and an intense questioning of his spiritual beliefs. Add all that together and you have a big stress cloud hovering over Kevin.

All of these interesting little twists and turns makes for a good read and Kevin Roose is a great narrator and guide. His introspection and quest for understanding really help you see the complexity of the situation he finds himself in. I definitely recommend this book and can loan it to the next person who asks because I have a copy sitting right next to me.