Crazed Comics # 3

The long awaited third installment of Crazed Comics has arrived! I am posting the original and the colorized version. Let me know what you think.

Take 1


Take 2

Update and a funny video

Hey all I have a new comic strip going up tonight but I am doing homework. For those keeping track I have started my second class of the semester. Thankfully it is not another redundant math class. It is Perspective and there seems to be a lot of reading and this is the first day. Oh and I got an A in the math class and I never even bought the book for it. Way to go AiO!

If you need some entertainment right now and can't wait a few hours I have this site for you:
http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/110895/Daily_Show_slams_Bremer_for_12_billion_in_lost_cash

I post his site only because that is where I found the cool video and I hope one day someone will link my site in return. Anyway it has a Daily Show clip about 12 billion dollars in cash that no one in our government can account for. I thought it was very funny and scary at the same time. I mean is 12 billion even a real number and how did they miraculously come up with 361 tons of hundred dollar bills? Check the video out and give the guy a little love for posting it.

Keys and AAA

I spent the night watching the blazers actually win one which was nice. Drinking beer at the bar was good and I stopped off at the local 7-11 to get a 6-er to continue the party at home until I locked my keys in the car. Crap. So I rang my dad on the telly and told him about it hoping we could play the AAA fellows for a free unlocking. I had done this a year and a half ago and the AAA kid did not even ask for my id. This twit did. He was about to go ahead when he actually read the name on my license and decided to play 20 questions about where my dad was. 60 dollars later and the questions were no longer being asked. The whole ride home I kept thinking: "That is exactly how much it costs for a year of AAA" When I called my dad to tell him it hadn't worked, that was exactly what Maryjo was hollering in the background. So my recommendation for the night get AAA. The real pisser is I have a spare key for my car in my wallet but I was driving my dad's car and I do not have a spare key for it. So once again just get AAA.

Other then that I have nothing to share.

The Actual Wedding Take 2

Ok, so I rushed the last post a wee bit and perhaps that looked a wee mean spirited. I did not mean it that way. It just seemed silly to be still trying to write about an event that happened on January 27th. So maybe I need to finesse it a little bit. So here goes.

The wedding went off very well. No one got too misty or teary eyed while reading their scripture passages and the priest remembered Kevin's last name. We had an hour before the reception doors opened so a group of us, Jed, Simmon, James, his special lady friend and baby and Christian and his special lady friend, went to a bar to have a beer or two before the reception. Then we wandered down to the reception and got another beer or two. We ate a few appetizers and found our seats. Then the Wedding party flooded in and people watched as the "first" dances happened. Meanwhile my stomach was growling because the appetizers ignited a terrible hunger. Then we ate and the evening got more relaxed and people milled about. I caught back up with people I hadn't seen the night before and more beer and wine passed my lips. The night wore on and we decided to head to the bar down the road. Although everybody talked about it not everybody made it. They probably got lost on the way. We switched from beer and wine to shots. Then people decided to call it a night and Jed, Adrian, Kevin's big sis and I decided food was needed and we headed to Denny's. I am not sure what time it was when we made it home but I was done. I had really restless sleep on top of a rapidly deflating air mattress and soon I got out and laid on the floor using the air mattress as a big pillow and I got a little better sleep. I woke up before my alarm and I started getting ready to head to the airport. I left my portion of the room on the table and managed to turn Adrian into my hooker and I was out the door. I skipped eating on the way thinking I would get a burger at In N' Out but as I said before they were all closed. I dropped my rental car off and headed to the airport via a bus with a guy who did not seemed concerned that we might have a time crunch. I printed my ticket at an electronic ticket machine and I went inside. I dined on an utterly forgettable sandwich and then was surrounded by loud teenagers. When I got to my car in Portland all I wanted to do was find a nice big comfy bed to sleep in.

Hey Robert, any better?

The Actual Wedding

Little tired of this story so let's get it over...

Kevin and Bridgette got married. We drank beer and wine at the reception. We drank more stuff at the bar. Then a few of us ended up at Denny's. I woke up a wee bit before 8AM hopped in my car and drove for a few hours to San Jose. Along the way I stopped at an In-n-Out joint but it was too early, apparently this one was not 24/7. Sucks to be me. I sat in the airport for an hour then got on a crowded plane and flew home and took a big nap.

The Pre-Wedding Story

Back to the retelling of last weekend. Thursday my dad spent all day at a work shop while I kept falling asleep in front of the TV. When he got back home we headed over to have Vietnamese again and then ran some errands. Finally ending our night at Barnes & Noble. The next day I awoke early and headed to the airport. Where I wandered about waiting for the time to pass.With the flight over I landed in San Jose. San Jose International was the worst airport I have been in. Wait it's the second worst airport, the first being Medford, OR. This airport was old and used up. It was dinky and the whole place was covered in construction. It was lousy. I caught the first bus to the rental car company area and within moments I was back on the road heading South feeling excited. An hour later I was no longer excited just antsy and kind of hungry. I decided to watch for a In N' Out Burger because I hadn't had one in a year and a half at least. I missed the last one and saw it in my rear view. I pressed on thinking: "I have an hour left to drive and In N' Out was originated in Cali it has got to be everywhere, right?" The answer to that question is: "You couldn't be more wrong!" I finally arrived and ran into Kevin C right away who immediately introduced me to his special lady friend. Then we had some champagne. Nothing like 5 minutes in town and already drinking. That is style. Adrian came down and next thing I know I am buying a sweater at Kohl's for the dinner that night. I hadn't packed anything nice to wear besides the wedding duds. I am always thinking ahead. I started to notice an odd odor in the air and was wandering if someone had a gas leak when I was informed it was the natural springs and that the hotel boasted spas that allowed you to soak in luxuriating water that made you think of Uncle Ed's post bathroom odor. We picked up some liquor and headed out. I was at the rehearsal for moral support and mainly because that way I could be driven around and never bother to know where I was supposed to be. The Priest came in very casual and a wee bit late and referred to Kevin as Kevin Conway. Which is not exactly his last name. I was watching this priest knowing he was comedic gold. There is a thing to explain about the priest not knowing Kevin's last name. This was a destination wedding, everybody had to travel including the couple getting married. So it wasn't their priest but what a way to make people's hearts race! "I now pronounce you..... LINE!!"
After the rehearsal, where the locals made Portlanders look like yuppies when it came to time, we headed to a nice little winery. It was called Eberle Winery or whatever. The rehearsal dinner was held downstairs in the wine cellar and we were surrounded by casks of wine. I kept trying to lure people into the catacombs so I could entomb them while they were still alive but I couldn't find any catacombs let alone any willing volunteers. I mean I wouldn't force somebody to allow me to lead them to a horrible demise, that wouldn't be nice. We sat down and I told the lady who offered red or white that I most definitely required both. She laughed and poured both and half the table followed suit. We were the loud and boisterous singles table and soon we discovered we could make the ceiling do our loudness for us. It was like having a microphone but better. We ate and drank then enjoyed several toasts, by the last few I was toasting with water. About that time we all headed to the hotel to walk down to the bar. We drank and drank and drank and danced a bit too. Then we made VIP status and we drank in a private room where we controlled the music and shots came down the pipe. Soon it became apparent that the groom was thinking bed was a good idea so I took off with him and a few others while Jed and Adrian stayed behind. Apparently that was when it got interesting. A line of local girls came into the VIP room to party and within moments had Jed topless. From what I gather Jed is like some kind of aphrodisiac if you can just figure out how to get him to use it. So the night continued downhill with Jed getting whipped with his own belt, kissing a random girl and then just deciding to go to Jack in the Box with Adrian.

Check back for more... maybe...

Those Damn Mooninites!

Who read or heard about the horrible evil hoax that happened in Boston? Those evil people at Adult Swim are conspiring to make us all look silly. I have not been more outraged by an entertainer's disreguard for common people's sense of over reaction and blatant stupidity since the whole "War of the World's" stunt! Really!

How could this image of an evil Mooninite not cause fear and panic! He is giving us the finger after all. Of all the low down rotten things to do! They should lock this guy up and throw away the key! How could he place such humorous electronic devices in public view. This is practically murder! Or something! I shudder to think of a world filled with harmless pranks and children's and adult's laughter! How dare those evil geniuses at comedy central do this. How dare they have these up for two weeks in ten cities without any problems! How dare they bring joy into people's lives that like to stay up late and watch talking fast food items! They were dangerously colorful and looked quite a bit like a Lite Brite kit how could it not be taken as a security risk! I mean the world has always lived in terror from those Lite Brite wielding happy children! Boston; New York; Los Angeles; Chicago; Atlanta; Seattle; Portland, Ore.; Austin, Texas; San Francisco; and Philadelphia all were targets of this evil plot. The very fabric of what we value as Americans has been compromised. I now sit in fear that somebody might put one of these outside my door forcing me to hide under my computer desk, trying not to make a sound. The Associated Press wrote "The cartoon also includes two trouble-making, 1980s-graphic-like characters called "mooninites," named Ignignokt and Err — who were pictured on the suspicious devices. They are known for making the obscene hand gesture depicted on the devices." They also wrote about a woman who feared for his life: "Wanda Higgins, a 47-year-old Weymouth resident and a nurse at Massachusetts General Hospital, heard about the threat as she watched television news coverage while preparing to leave work at 4 p.m. "I saw the bomb squad guys carrying a paper bag with their bare hands," Higgins said. "I knew it couldn't be too serious." "

The world quakes in fear of Aqua Teen Hunger Force's next attack! Will it be handing out stickers that glow in the dark to strangers? Will they cause more people to laugh and bring smiles to adult faces? This blogger hopes swift and decisive action is taken to insure that the United States continues on it's road to unhappiness and sorrow! Burn Meatwad, Master Shake and Frylock at the stake and gather up those mooninite rebels and chop off their offensive fingers!

MY days away from work!

I made it back from Paso Robles in relatively one piece. I am definitely dragging hiney but that is an acceptable problem for such a good time. I am sure you are aching to hear my stories so I guess I owe it to you to start from the beginning.

It was a Wednesday morning and I was mixing some cake batter up. I have to tell you that my arm was absolutely exhausted by the time I had stirred it long enough. I poured them into the silicone bake ware Aunt Wanda and Uncle Don had got for me. Let me tell you they work fantastic! I was not real sure when my dad would arrive but I figured I would have enough time to bake the cake and get it to start cooling before he arrived. I was however not sure if I should eat or not. So in my infinite wisdom I decided to wait. When the cakes had been cooling for a while and the monster that lives in my stomach was trying to claw its way out I decided to have a bowl of cereal. I poured the milk onto my raisin bran and after just one bite my dad came in. I time things well. I ate the cereal anyway and I made us a cup of coffee for both of us and then I iced the birthday cake, a chocolate cake with chocolate icing. We had a slice at that point and then we headed to Powell's. I needed to trade in a few books and I wanted to get some used versions of Chuck Palahniuk books. I like the guy he is a pretty entertaining writer but I hate that the cheap version of his book is the oversized paperback that cost around $13.95. I mean what happened to the $5.99 book? Ok, so maybe that version is now $7.99 but still!! If you do not think you know this writer he is a Portland based writer responsible for such great books as Haunted, Survivor, Choke, Stranger then Fiction and Fight Club. The last two books are now movies. So you may know him or at least are familiar with his style by now. So far I have read Fight Club (after seeing it of course) and Survivor. I am midway through haunted and was hoping to start another book. Anyway I had brought a sci-fi book and the Fight Club book to trade in and try to get enough for a used book for my impending flight. The Fight Club book is funny because it was the version a few years after the movie where Chuck talks about the success of the book, movie and the random things people say to him because of it. I had picked it up at Powell's a few months ago on the sale rack which means they have too many of that particular book and would like to get rid of it. I was in and out of Powell's several times and that book was always there. I had given up on the fact that this book would ever sell back to Powell's but being stubborn I attempted it anyway and they took it. As if that wasn't a sign! So I took my trade credit and I headed to the P section of the fiction books and looked at every copy of every book under Palahniuk and all of them were new. None of them were used. Then I remembered the movie Stranger then Fiction had come out recently and it must have driven people to the bookstores to find cheap versions of his book. So I headed over to another writer that caught my interest recently Augusten Burroughs. I had read a great book he wrote called Magical Thinking. It was like nothing I had ever read. They are all true stories which make them that much more compelling and the only used version I could find was of Magical Thinking. So far it was not my day. I headed back to the cook stand to see how my father was fairing with the cook books. He was looking for a cookbook that featured using a stand mixer to make things with. The weird thing is he wanted one with more then simply bread. I have worked in a kitchen before and I have used a large stand mixture for two things baking and making whipped cream..... Which is probably beside the point. Although it makes me have to ask: "When you decided to want, desire, pine and finally purchase a stand mixer what exactly did you see yourself doing with it?" I mean really I still can only come up with a few answers. I kept all these cynical thoughts for this blog for your entertainment and asked him if he wanted to use the trade credit towards a book but he had struck out and he wasn't really feeling like looking for anything else in this store. My dad and I both find Powell's to be a short quick stop not a long extended experience. I always go in there with a plan because I have an overwhelming urge to leave the minute I get in there. I always have to remind myself that people visiting the first time need time to explore the stacks. I mean where else do you get a city block filled with books in a multi-layered store. The sheer number of books is deceiving because I never can find what I am seeking and when I actually do find the book it is never used. Give me Barnes and Noble with big comfy chairs to melt into with a couple of books to peruse. So we were about to leave when I stumbled across a book I had been interested in a year or so ago that was titled "The Historian" it was on sale and with the trade credit it was only a dollar. We headed back to the car and off to this Vietnamese restaurant called Pho Huy. It is the best restaurant in Portland. I have never had a bad meal and I always leave wanting to go back and every time I can't finish I regret not savoring another bite. It is ridiculously good. Expect to go there if you come out to visit. Unless you happen to lie on the non-meat eating side I am not sure they swing that way. I will have to check into that. Then we headed to Barnes and Noble for some quality book time. A few hours later and several pages later we stumbled out of their with bleary eyes from all the text we had shoveled past our ocular cavities. We required sustenance and we found it at a Baja Fresh by stuffing tacos down our gullets. We headed over to get beer and limes at the store and ended up renting Iron Man along the way. The beers were tasty but Iron Man was a little lame. We followed that movie up with Over the Hedge which was very amusing much to my suprise. After that we hit the hay because my dad had a workshop the next day and I had some..... nothing to do. This seems to be getting long I will adjourn and continue my story tomorrow. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

California here I come!

It will be a short week for me. I am heading South to Paso Robles, CA for my friend Kevin's Wedding. I am looking forward to that. I have Wednesday off like usual but I took Thursday, Friday and Saturday off even though I only really needed Friday and Saturday off. It seemed like such a shame to go back to work for one day when I really could use a mini-vacation so I decided to take the day off to do whatever. The only rule was it would have nothing to do with taking calls about insurance issues. My dad will be in town Wednesday for a conference on Thursday. So we will play. Wednesday is his birthday and it is my brother John's as well. So happy birthday.

This last Saturday was a long day at work. Longer then normal because we had the two other call centers closed because of bad weather. So not only were we stuck with all the calls but at least half of the calls we could do nothing about since we were not licensed to make changes in certain states. In the middle of one of the most irritating Saturdays on record a co-worker by the name of Jonathan summed up the Saturday experience pretty well. It was so funny I wrote it down and brought it here to share with you. Here it is: "Working on Saturday is like being stuck in front of a toilet after drinking too much. You want to leave but you can't"

Anyway have a good week and envy my running off to California.

Winter Driving

Another take on the same video. What I like is seeing what happened to the fire truck you see at the end of the other video.

Portland Bumber Cars

It's time to make fun of snow driving fools!

I finally found the video that I saw this on the news Tuesday and I was howling in laughter as I watched these people keep trying to go. They would lose control once and then go ok I think I will make it now and then they careen into another car. As if all the hazard lights flashing and the dented cars and people standing around weren't enough of a warning. My favorite was the first guy they show who looks like he thought hitting the gas would help and instead he hit every car on the street!

Just to let you know I was amazed by the city's lack of preparedness. I did not see snow plows or anything at all during the storm. i don't think the mobilized until the snow stopped falling. Well I am headed to work tomorrow and hopefully I won't hit too much black ice. Hope you liked the video.

Snow Day!

It finally really snowed here in Portland. All the talk about snow and ice the last 2 Winters and I finally see that it can snow here. It was snowing pretty good but the schools claimed to be open and the job were open so I headed out to go to work and embarked upon the worst, best, and most entertaining ride of my life. It took me an hour and 15 minutes to throw in the towel. I was not making it to work today no matter how hard I tried. Well not in my car at least and I was not close enough to walk. I attempted putting on chains and even after getting the damn things on I could not make it up the hill that was in my way. I managed to get my car turned around so I headed home and went for a walk and when I got back from my walk they finally decided to close the call center I work at. I wonder how many people made it in before that decision was made.I wonder how many peope had accidents because they wouldn't close the call center I almost had 5 and two would have been my fault. Luckily both times I angled myself into a sidewalk curb which stopped me from hitting anything else. If you want to see the pictures I have them online at this spot: http://www.angelfire.com/droid/crazedlunatikdesigns/snow_day/

Eddie Murphy and Ugly people

Preach the truth Eddie!

A Brief Note

Well it has been 2 days since I wrote the VP and nothing. A week since I last wrote my academic advisor and nothing. The sheer amount of concern astonishes me. I have never felt like such a part of a family. Nothing but warm fuzzies.

Yeah, right.

On the other hand a bone was thrown to me at work. My Saturday shift was changed to the 8-4:30 shift. Which is the one I was supposed to have in the beginning. Woohoo! It will mean being able to head south with my car so I can get new brakes. It also means hitting up some grub and ale before the Blazers game February 3rd.

A letter

The letter I wrote to the Vice President of Online Educational Services is below. I wrote the blog entry directly below this before I wrote this letter. You may want to attempt sequential order. I sent this out already but I would love any input and any opinions about the following letter.

Dr. Stein,

I was very happy to see the letter you sent congratulating me on my scholastic achievements. Even if it is a cleverly made form letter sent out via email it still was cool to get acknowledgement. Please understand that I mean the thank you because I am seizing the opportunity of receiving your email as a way to get a few things of concern off my mind.

I am in my second semester at Art Institute Online and I really enjoyed a lot of the people in the previous 2 courses I have taken. However I have not been pleased with the lack of control I have in my education or the fact that I do not get to decide what classes I take and when I take them. I am not new to higher education; I have a Bachelors Degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management from Northern Arizona University. I understand that every degree has certain required course and some courses have prerequisites. I also understood that even though it was pretty regulated at NAU I had a huge say in what I took each semester and I took full advantage of that. At Art Institute Online you do not get to do that the freedom to choose is missing. Which was kind of a shock but not a problem until recently. You see I wanted to go back to school and when I stumbled across this school I allowed myself to be rushed right in. It was kind of strange to go from thinking about school to starting my first class within a month before my transcripts or financial aid had been figured out. Strange as that was it's was happened to me and I didn't really mind that until I realized that all my transcripts did not get accepted. I had taken College Algebra and Trigonometry in a community college down in Phoenix, AZ a few years back and had not had to take math at NAU as a result of it. When I was told that I would need to take Basic Mathematics and Intermediate Algebra at this school I was stunned. When I asked about why I had to take them I was told that they were required per the Student Handbook. When I pointed out the fact that I had math courses in my transcripts and did not understand why those courses, which are a higher level and accepted at another school of higher education, were not accepted here I was told that "they must not have been transferable". Then I was told that it was "too late to do a credit challenge". That was the first and last explanation I received about the mysterious non-transferable math courses or the "credit challenge". I hadn't been given a chance to challenge the credits and my first awareness that I could have was when I was told that it was too late to do so. I was given a choice to take an accuplacer test or to take the courses. I tried to find the time to take the test but my time and the rules of the accuplacer exam did not mesh. I even tried to talk to Art Institute of Portland to see if they could help me out. They told me they did not do accuplacers and the person on the phone kept asking me why my credits were not able to be transferred which I of course could not answer. So I started emailing people to see if I could push the math courses back until I could find the time to set the test up but I received no response back from my Admissions Coordinator or my Academic Advisor. I was really at the mercy of the school because I had jumped through hoops to get the financial aid in place to attend and then the school selects the courses you take each semester. I have no clue about how to stop or if I could have stopped the classes from being forced on me and I really don't have any idea how to stop the financial aid that has already been sent to your school from going towards paying for classes that I can't get a clear answer on why I have to take them. The worst part is no one seems to be willing to tell me or even acknowledge the questions.

All this has resulted in a person that is very frustrated with this school. I believe that there is a lot of cool courses waiting for me just beyond this rocky shore but to get there I am shoved into a lifeboat with a hole in it with water seeping through at an alarming rate with an oar made out of cardboard that is disintegrating as I row towards refuge. I don't feel like I am given the skills to navigate the school and the lack of face to face interaction prevents me from being able to show up at every door until I get an answer. I have never understood the expression "I felt like a cog in a machine" before but I certainly get the expression now. At this point I have come to one realization that I have to take these math courses but not because of why the school thinks I need them. The reasons I see are because the class for Basic Math has already started and I doubt any money would go back to my financial aid debt for dropping out. If it would I have no idea how to get it done. I am still trying to get the extra money that I asked for from the creative arts education loan that I took so I could afford the books and required software. Without that little extra I am struggling to come up with the money for books and this class's book is a whopping 120 dollars. Which is a smack in the face considering it is a class I shouldn't have ever had to take in the first place. My options after the steamroller known as AiO required are done with me is to continue with a school that has no interest in what I say or to drop out and try to find a new path to my dream. Neither option is entirely satisfying for me but I can tell you which one looks the most unappealing at the moment staying in this school. I am at the point where I can't tell anyone why I want to continue to go to AiO. All I see in front of me is the potential for more of the same bad experiences. I don't get to pick my courses, I have no idea who to ask for advice (since I am not impressed by those hired to offer it so far), and most importantly my issues were not taken seriously enough to get a proper response on them. I really have no idea what writing this email will do for me. In the end probably nothing, you will probably find someone else to take my place should I decide to not attend school any longer and this email will probably never make it past your secretary. I will be lucky to get an out of office reply judging from the other people I have dealt with. The thing I wanted to write this email for was to get a weight off my shoulders and to let you know that this system is not a good one, at least as far as I am concerned. I also wanted to rattle some cages and see if anyone is interested in what a student has to say. What I hope is the result of the letter is some serious thought to reform of how the curriculum is structured, how to help a student feel like his opinion and concerns matter, a better system to address various issues and more contact when something goes wrong. It would also be nice to have my personal issue addressed.

Thank you for your time,
Michael Williams

Evils Thoughts Revealed

I feel I owe another more realistic post to people. I have posted a lot of videos lately and not a lot of my own original words and ideas. So here we go. I want to start with a lil' update. My job is still a decent job. It is not the coolest job I have ever had, the best paid I have ever had but it is not exactly torturous to near the building. Well it kind of is but it is the acceptable I have to go to work terror and dread everyone gets. I do however hate my schedule. That is a serious issue with me and one that I hope changes with the new class that starts February 5th. Maybe by April I will get a halfway cool shift, you know one with two days off in a row. If you ask me it is horsecrap that the people that work Friday don't get Monday off. I understand Monday is a busy day but not having two days off in a row is not conducive to a healthy life style nor is it good for morale. I know every one of us that works Saturday have no desire to continue to do so and I am sure if they gave us Sunday and Monday off we would still prefer Saturday & Sunday but at least we could actually have a weekend and maybe get out of town for a while. The other day I learned something that stuck in my craw a bit and since I feel like complaining at this very moment I am going to air it out a bit. There are people that go to work Monday through Friday and are off Saturday and Sunday that started when I did. They pay a price of staying until 8:00 to do so and to me that is a steap price. I worked years on that night shift and I always thought it was my best choice but in all reality I love being off in the evening. I have all kinds of time that I spend drawing reading, writing and watching some TV. It works for me and it allows me enough downtime from work during hours that stores are open and food joints are still serving. I like being semi-normal. I might not love the rush hour traffic but truth be told I like being off at that time to gripe about it. I just hate being at work past 5 it just isn't my thing. SO I chose my day shift and I chose a shift without 2 days in a row because I did not like the alternative. It is barbaric to work past 5, it just is. SO with the shift I wanted I had to take a Saturday shift. So knowing that I had takne the shift to avoid the dreaded hours I was fine. I was dealing with never feeling quite rested when I hit work until I realized the people working those night shifts get a shift differential which is a couple bucks more then me. I still don't want that shift and I know in prior jobs I got the same thing but those prior jobs were Monday through Friday for everybody or in a situation where people hardly ever got two days off in a row. My thinking is that we work a split week and a day that noone in their right mind wants to work where is my differential or my "sorry that you are low on the totem pole enough to get this crappy shift" pay? That my friends is a true definition of Bullsh**! Ok enough ranting about work because except for always feeling slightly exhausted it is still the best job I have had in 2 and a half years.

Now we move to school ranting. Lets keep it short: I am taking the Math classe I was upset about. I want to fly out to Pennsylvania and kick all these idiots in the shins for this injustice. I am pretty upset about it and yet I am not real sure what to do about it. I wrote to the lady who emailed me back to say "You have to take these math classes." and nothing else. I said I suggest you work your head around refunding the governemnt the tuition for this semester and unenroll me from your school. I have not heard back. In the meantime knowing full well the money is spent and I am powerless at this point I am doing the stupid class. The pretest that has you test your knowledge of math you are about to learn in the course was scored at a 95%. Yet I still have to sit there for 6 weeks doing a bunch of stupid assignments. To tell you the truth the math part is almost ok except that it is insulting the part that really gets me riled is the discussion topics where you talk about math. In my opinion give me problems, have me work them out and show the work, give me a test and let me move on why is this course interactive? What do I learn by reading 15 responses that are exactly the same to every question asked? What exactly is the point of answering a question like this: Discussion Question 1
1. Visit the website http://www.rwc.uc.edu/chisko/mathanxiety/attitudes.html and read the tips given on how to take care of Math anxiety. Make a small presentation to your classmates highlighting what you think are the important ways to reduce math anxiety. Share your thoughts in this context with your classmates.

I'll tell you the point it is that they feel by making me excrete out an answer to this that seems different from the other answers that they can show that Online earning is just as hard if not harder then the rest of the Higher Education world. I will tell you what is the hardest thing to do: Honestly responding with interest to your classmates when they bring nothing to the table of interest. That is not to say that I have not found interesting people in class that I liked. In fact I have a few emails and even a MySpace friend for proof that I like people in these classes. I am just having a hard time seeing this class in a positive light since I feel like I was railroaded into it. I was rushed through enrollment and I wasn't really ever told what credits transfered and what didn't until one day someone sent me an email about theses math courses. So right at the moment I hate the class and the school so I am seeing things through a tainted lens. Just writing it reminds me to give the classmates a chance and the teacher a chance. They have nothing to do with me being forced to take these course because of a buearacratic technicality. So my endeavor is to find an email buddy or two. You know make some connections. It's all about focus. In the meantime I just recieved an email congratulating me on my first semester being above a 3.5 gpa. It was sent from the VP. Maybe he needs an ear full.... I promise to be extra super nice to him.

**** In A Box

Ok so maybe this video is not exactly PC. In fact maybe half of you should not even watch it but I think that would be silly this is probably the funniest thing Saturday Night Live has done in years. That is why the news made such a big deal about it. It had nothing to do with offending people it had more to do with corporate America not wanting people to laugh. Yeah they are trying to keep the little man down.... AND OUT OF BOXES. hehehe I posted the edited version but it really leaves little to the imagination. I hope you enjoy or at least are revolted enought to give me an earful! Give it a chance you might put it on you ipod and pump this song while you go to work. If the beeps in the edited version are driving you crazy here is a link to the unedited version: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/uncensored.shtml

DENTIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

I have been to the dentist 3 times in the last month. For anyone that is counting that is 3 times too many. I hate going to the dentist but about 3 months ago I started having dreams about my teeth rotting out of my head and also dreams where my teeth were so crooked they stuck straight out and I couldn't shut my mouth. I would toss and turn all night with these horrible images in my head and yet I still avoided the dentist. Mainly because the mere thought of the word dentist makes my teeth ache. The other reason was I didn't have dental insurance and then all of a sudden I had it. Having it definately did not prod me to go. I pretended to be too busy as I spent my hours looking up videos on youtube.com, emailing anybody and everybody that I had managed to get an email from, and most importantly spending time looking at my stats on statcounter.com for the number of visits I get at my site each day. I know who the regulars are, Muhahahahahahahahahaha (evil laugh). Then my permanent retainer broke and the metal was jabbing me in the tongue. WHich was not really all that pleasant. 12 long years with this thing and it finally attacked. So I went in on an emergency mission to get the thing yanked out. The dentists talked me into a repair job and then a visit to the orthodontist for a removable replacement. It seemed like a good idea my parents had worked hard building this set of pearly whites. Except that I overbooked myself the day of the appointment, and had realized my dental plan didn't even cover me thinking the word orthodontist, and I had a brain malfunction where I gave everyone some weird number that I have never had as my cell phone number. When I realized my overbooking myself mistake I decided to call and talk about setting up another appointment. Somehow I realized that I had given a bad number and was determined to give the ortho peeps the correct one. I kept getting the answering machine. So after the third try I left a message to cancel the appointment, reschedule another appointment and to give them the correct contact number. I felt good about the phone call but they didn't call back and time slipped by. Later in the week I went to pay my phone bill and I typed the number in that I had given to the ortho peeps and it told me that it was not a T-mobile number. So I grabbed the phone and realized that the number I had thought was right was nowhere close to the number I have had for the last year. So they hadn't not called back they just hadn't been able to call me because I gave two wrong numbers otherwise known as mentally shielding myself from the orthodontist. I hadn't had the same luck with the dentist. I had set myself up on a day that was a day off and although they had recieved a bad cell-phone number I had given them a correct work number. This appointment was for the normal cleaning. They asked me about the ortho and I said that I hadn't had a chance and once again they encouraged me to seek one out. I agreed and went about my absolute no cavity having day. Then this last Monday, New Year's Day, the damn retainer broke again and I was at the dentist again. This time I said I need this hunk-o-junk gone! And they got it done! Woohoo. The flipside is 220 dollars went toward the entire repair and removal venture, 220 bucks I won't get back. A smart man would have had them yank it out the first time, oh well. My tongue keeps playing with the new metal-free mouth. I love it and I have no desire to see anyone about putting another retainer in there ever again! Anyway the moral of the story is go to the dentist!

Oh yeah and here is the scary part: I actually like my dentists they are pretty nice and neither one of the dentists at the office have huge hands they all have small petite hands that can get in and out of your mouth without feeling like you just shoved an entire package of hot dogs in your mouth and then insist on trying to do intricate manuevers in there while shoving scary sharp metal things into your gums!

Happy New Year's!!!

Happy Freakin' New Year!
So did you do anything exciting? I totally didn't! I spent my whole day sleeping and the whole night reading Eragon. I finished the book about 11:30 PM and I sat around until midnight watching Dick Clark slur words and his moronic buddy Ryan Seacrest get excited by a peck on the cheek from Christina Aguilera. Once the ball dropped the tv shut off. I took my evening shower and headed to bed.

Now I am at work waiting for a call. In the last 2 hours I have had 2 calls. I am getting double time and half to sit around and shoot the breeze. Not too mad about it. I would rather be snuggled up under the blankets sleeping but hey.

Let me know how you spent your New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.

Jimmy Fallon - Idiot Boyfriend

This is an awesome video and I hadn't seen it in a few years. I hope you enjoy.

Christmas and James Brown Tribute.

Hello all I hope you had a good Christmas. I sure did. It was great getting down to visit my Aunt Wanda and Uncle Don. We had a great couple of meals and a nice time. Even if Aunt Wanda decided to get another cold for the holidays. I told her colds are not a good present anytime of the year so their is no reason to run out and grab a second one in two months time. Santa doesn't even give colds to naughty kids! I mean hello!

Anyway some of you may have heard that James Brown passed away on Christmas day. I decided to do a little tribute to him. So I watched like 60 YouTube clips to bring you the top 6 clips I found. I hope you enjoy. I sacrificed for the greater good once again.

Eddie Murphy makes with the James Brown Funny

This video is from Eddie Murphy's Delirious stand up show. Just a fair warning this is full of the words moms don't like.

Papa's gotta brand new bag!

THis is my favorite of the videos I shared. I guess a big thank you goes out to VH1 classic.

JAMES BROWN DANCE ! FUNK LATE SEVENTIES

This was entertaining. I like the end where he shows the dance moves he invented. You can debate if he actually invented them as far as I am concerned he invented a lot of things and his impact on music was huge.

James Brown - live Monterey '79 - Get up offa that thing

And another tribute video

James Brown - It's a Man's World

Another video tribute.

JAMES BROWN on Shindig

As you may have heard James Brown passed away yesterday. So I am just going to post a few of his performances for your enjoyment. Rest in peace man.

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas!
I hope you all have a great holiday. I will, I am heading to Salem to spend the Holiday with my Aunt and Uncle. It will be a good time. Hope you all spend quality time with your family and that you get a few gifts that you want and a few gifts that you need.
Mike

Math schmath!

Hey all!
Some of you may know that I have become increasingly frustrated with the Art Institute Online and some of you may not know. For those that know this is rant time, for those that don't get a cup of coffee and pull up a chair.

I was looking to get back into school and my main focus was to use my abilities and my passion to make something into a career. Early on I thought about teaching but decided against because I was afraid I would burn out. There is a lot of crap teachers see and try to fix that can never be fixed and I wasn't sure I wanted to face that. After all I am the guy who draws pictures of cartoon bunnies in his spare time. I am a dreamer and I hate seeing reality too often. I have had enough reality the last couple of years of scraping by and making my dad's "Bank of Dad" shirt more realistic then cleverly ironic. I started looking around and I thought a journalist would be cool and I still think it would be if I was one of those people that could do reviews or entertainment opinion columns. I once again realized there was way too much reality in that world to suit my tastes. I started thinking what do I like to do. I like photography and I love making things on the computer. So I started checking out art schools. I read about several cool looking schools that required a portfolio and several essays on why the world is the way it is or what color is the best to wear after Labor Day since we all know white is out.... I really wasn't interested in driving to Beaverton to hang out with the unwashed hippies that reeked of a horrible mixture of Patchouli and body odor. The same hippies that spend their time drawing "amazing" pictures of trees and write poems about trees and why weed is your friend. Ok so maybe I am in the wrong city to think these raggety looking hippy wannabe granola kids are annoying and maybe I am a little judgemental of something I really never experienced but whatever this is my story. AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY WORD I HAVE TO SAY! (thank you Adam Sandler) Back to the story.

So here I am wanting to go back to school but afraid photography will lead to me being a sears photographer and thinking writing will lead me to a pissed off typesetter at the local newspaper and when I mean local I mean the community newspaper. I decided I would go back to the computer for my answer and low and behold I found Art Institue Online. Which boasted some amazing majors which included Media Arts and Animation. I was in it to win it, with dreams of working on the next Toy Story. They rushed me right through the enrollment process and before they even had all my transcripts I was in my first class.

The first class was pointless but I enjoyed the interaction with other students and the fact that I could log in at 7 PM or 2 AM and it didn't really matter. I did very well and I recieved a very high 'A'. The second clas began about the same time they told me my transcripts were not completely acceptable and that I would have to retake Math courses, specifically MTH 099 Basic Mathematics and MTH 100 Intermediate Algebra. What I had taken was Mat 154 College Algebra and MAT 160 Trigonometry. Apparently it is that damn "A" and "H"'s fault that my credits weren't taken and that is about the best guess I have. I tried to find out why they weren't accepted via email and the phone, but I recieved no response. Finally last week I recieved a call that I had to take the Accuplacer Test or else. So I called back and I was told that "the credits must not have matched up and it's too late to do a credit challenge". They don't match up? Math is Math! 1+1=2 Is that different if you got to art school? Does 1+1=Picasso? Then the other half of that statement.... "it's too late to do a credit challenge". Forget that I emailed and called about this and heard nothing back. Lets focus on something being too late when I was not even aware it existed until it was mentioned during my little phone call that I had to make three times (not counting the prior unreturned messages) to get a hold of someone. How is it too late? I am not enrolled in the classes and you have had my transcripts for 2 months! Why do I have to take these stupid classes anyway? What art talent will I improve by learning how to divide fractions and to solve for 'x'? If they are trying to go more legit with their degrees then the next question is what makes makes me have to take them next semester? In every school I have ever attended they allow you to choose your courses and even though courses are required to complete the major and some are prerequisites for other required classes all they do is suggest you take them. You could buck the whole system and take every class with the word "SEX" in the title and as long as they get their money they will let you. Even against their advisors advice YOU still pick YOUR schedule. The other problem with the "more legit degree" excuse is the fact that those same classes worked great for my first major and have worked for every other school with required math courses I have asked that did not want higher courses then the ones I took. In fact, I often get told that I more then qualify the math requirements but at AIO I am told I will be force placed into the basic math class unless I can take some test that requires me to ask a total stranger to jump through several hoops. I have asked several times if there is a way to sign up with a proctor service. I would pay for it I don't even care about the money as long as it could be on a Wednesday. My other problem is that this involves the other person (or Proctor) to have email access and internet access. Yet it can not be done at my home or at the proctor's home. I have had two people say they would but they don't know how to work around the internet connection issue.

About the test they want me to take. I have to find a non-relative that can be my communicator to the testing company. They have to send in their information and they will get the test or the test link sent to them via email. They have to be present while I take the test and then they have to submit the test and communicate with the testing company on my behalf and I have to get all this set up and complete by Wednesday.

So I am back at square one. With no reason that my math courses are not acceptable and the fear of having to take math again. Which puts me into a corner and I tend to get very feisty when I am stuck in a corner. I have an overwhelming urge to bag it all but I worked hard to get the money situation straightened out and I really want to be in school. I decided the other day that I need to head to the physical campus in downtown Portland and talk to them about switching to them next year. If I get pushed into MTH 099 and MTH 100 I will be talking to them after the first of the year about getting in as soon as possible. At this point even if I do miraculously avoid the gallows, known as remedial math courses, I will be talking to someone at AI at Portland about starting with them next fall. I decided to share a few warm happy thoughts with the Online chuckleheads about what this stupid situation has done to my outlook on AIO and I wrote the email below. It is nowehere near what I would like to say but it will have to do.


Hello,
I am not understanding why these math classes are so imperative. I have 8 credits of math already that are at a higher level then the ones you are forcing me to take. I am having a hard time seeing how these classes will help me in my chosen career. I also have no clue why I have to get this all done now. Why is it so important that I get into the math now. Is it a prerequisite for something? If so then what. I am extremely irritated that my credits weren't accepted and I am even more irritated that this test relies on me to find a proctor and can't be done at the Art Institute in my city. I am at a point that if I get forced placed into these math classes, that I feel I shouldn't have to take, I will be looking for a new school to attend next year.
As far as the math goes why was I rushed into enrolling if this was such an issue? I have talked several times with Andi Spano about this accuplacer test and the fact that my math classes should count for something. She has never given me a reason that my credits weren't accepted. In fact until the other day I had no idea that I could have challenged the credits to try and get them accepted. I have had a hard time getting in touch with people because you are based in Pennsylvania and I am at work for most of the time you are open and I am off after you close. I don't get replies to my emails and usually they are not helpful or require me to submit more information so I can wait 24 hours longer for help. I signed up for the convenience factor and I have not experienced that.
There is a slim chance that I will be able to get this pointless test done by Wednesday. I am going to try to set it up but as of yet I am unable to mesh times with anybody who has agreed to be my proctor. I also have another question about the test is it emailed to the proctor or can it be faxed? The proctor I do have does not have email access which is another reason this has been hard to set up.
Thank you for your time,
Michael Williams
Student ID: *****
Email: michaeljwilliams@lycos.com
Phone: (503) ***-****
URL: Http://www.crazedlunatikdesigns.com

A Book Review

Hey all I was recently looking at a book club and it allowed you to put in your two cents on a book and I decided to submit my thoughts on one of the books for sale. Here is what I posted:

JONATHAN STRANGE & MR. NORRELL, Dec 17,2006
Reviewer: MICHAEL W.
Talk about Sucktastic!

I very rarely abandon a book completely but this book was so annoyingly uninteresting that I had to. In fact I sold the book back to a used book store just to get it out of my sight! Everytime I think about that book I get irritated. It is so slow and uninteresting it was unbelievable. I would like to use this book to smack the author a couple of times in the head! I read the reviews here and maybe I should have read past the 200 pages but any book that takes longer then 200 pages to get going is dumb. And the writing style seemed witty at first but as it droned on I felt like I was being forced to read some historical textbook on the various stages of a rock becoming sand. Holy hell this book sucks! It makes me feel like retching to think that someone may read this book and waste precious moments of their life. Can I tell you anymore about how bad this book is? I mean really really bad. I wouldn't even use this book as a paperweight. My nephew who is 2 tells better stories. An illiterate chipmunk could produce a more enthralling novel!

Ode to the Apartment Laundry

Ode to the Apartment Laundry

Dearest Laundry Abandoner,
I was dismayed to find a load of stray clothes in the dryer.
It had sat there for at least 30 minutes as I washed my clothes
And with wet garments in hand I found the dryer full.
I was dismayed, upset even
However I had let my laundry sit for 30 minutes in the past as well
I decided to see this as a minor setback, a thing to be overcome.
I made due with one dryer
Absolutely sure that the laundry would be claimed
I set my timer for 30 minutes, half a dryer cycle
Thinking an hour is enough time to remember your wares...
When the half hour passed
I walked down in the dreary rain to find your clothes still retaining the dryer
My mind flashed devilish ideas like depositing your clothes on top of the dryer
But I didn't want to disturb them,
After all it is an easy mistake to make
Maybe amidst getting kids to bed you had temporarily forgotten
I was confident given a half hour longer you would correct this egregious error.
I shouldn't have been so generous.
I loaded my one dryer with my second load of clothes
Knowing that another load was still waiting
And a dryer was sitting filled but not used,
I retired to the Batcave.
An hour went by and I descended from my hovel
Into the dreary rain and down to our humble laundering facility,
Your things still clogged one of the dryers,
Like the edge of spittle on an old man's mouth.
It enraged me
I barely stopped myself from dashing your purloined cloth to the ground
And proceeding to stomp my muddy wet shoes into the fabric.
Instead I loaded my third load into the one remaining dryer
I went back to my perch and in an hours time was called back down to tend my laundry.
Only to find your vile threads festering in the dryer
Causing it to putresce and disintegrate before my eyes.
I finished hanging my clothes and I ascended back to my lair,
Still miffed by your evil inconsiderate ways.
I found myself sitting in front of a seldom used sticky note pad
I began to write all my wishes for your imminent demise upon it
When it occurred to me what I could do to strike a blow against this injustice
So I carefully crafted a note and snuck it back down.
I brazenly stuck the note to the front of the dryer
And it read:

Dear Inconceivably Inconsiderate Neighbor,
I am sorry to inform you of this but the dryer caught on fire while your clothes sat for hours. I was desperate to put the fire out and save the clothing you hold dear enough to have forgotten. So I did the only thing I could do I unzipped my pants and urinated on them. I am sure you will be very glad to know of the courageous and unflinching act I took on your behalf. I need not be thanked personally as I know your many prayers of thanks will include your anonymous benefactor. Anytime you feel like occupying a dryer for hours on end in the future just let me know and I will keep a very close watch on them. Always here for you.
Yours truly,
Urine Man

Crazed Comics #2

Here is the second strip dedicated to "News" Shows Suck & the Weather Guy = Devil

Crazed Comic Strip Pt 1

This comic was inspired by my blog entry "News" Shows Suck & the Weather Guy = Devil. I hope you like it. I am already working on the second comic.

The Simpsons Movie Trailer

Hey all,
I was talking to my dad when he mentioned that this trailer upset people a lot. Apparently it's not ok to harm animated bunnies. I found this trailer to be a lot better once I discovered that some people had objected to it. Yeah I know I like things just because other people don't. Just for making that observation expect a Britney Spears CD in your stocking this year.

"News" Shows Suck & the Weather Guy = Devil

Well we have had an eventful couple of days here in Portland. If you watched the news up here you would know that the second ice age was narrowly averted Monday and Tuesday. It was going to SNOW in Portland! Batten down the hatches! All hands on deck! And any other silly cliche you can think of when disaster is stalking your every move. I was really afraid that when I awoke I would find everything had been frozen and the technology had become obsolete. The cars frozen in their tracks and the grocery store doors sealed shut from the snow. I had expected a world full of woolly mamoths, saber tooth tigers and sloths. I had expected icy roads, snow that I would have to shovel and salt in my pockets. I had spent the better part of the night making a spear to get ready for the inevitable mammoth hunt. I no longer have any furniture left because I broke it apart to make spears, skis and snowshoes. If any one wants a sled I have the most awesome sled made out of my oven! The apartment manager did not seem happy about the fire I started in her rose bushes. She also said I was being indecent when I insisted on doing my half naked dance to the moon god. She doesn't understand that my half naked moon god dance was the only thing that saved us from the weather guys predictions. I mean I bought the world another few years and what do I get in return? An eviction notice! (By the way does anyone have a couch I can crash on?) I still regret the spears I made and the stove... yeah I have no clue how I was planning on cooking this winter. I wrote to the weather guy to ask if he could give me credit on the evening news but he requested that I remove him from my mailing list. I thought that was a little on the rude side. I had only emailed him a few thousand times this month about my indispensible help preventing Portland's flooding. It had been earlier in the year when we had experienced crazy nonstop rainfall in Portland. I had leaned against a building and it didn't get washed away. The weather guy said I was making fun of him and that I should stop emailing him. I said that he needed to recognize that because I prevented the building from washing away that I had in effect created the anchor that Portland needed during the time of the "almost" flood and without me we might have all ended up in Albuquerque. No one wants to end up in Albuquerque! Not even people in Albuquerque! I had bought a boat so I could rescue stranded motorists and people sitting on their roofs but did I get any recognition? NO! No I did not. In fact all I got was my boat reposessed! Guess who is not getting saved next year! The repo man, I won't even consider it! Another person I am not saving, the weather guy! Oh and don't forget the boat salesman! Jerks! I get no respect!

Happy Thanksgiving and the latest site news

Well some of you may have noticed the new look of the main page - http://www.crazedlunatikdesigns.com I am betting that most of you did not..... If you are like me you bookmarka page and it is the same page all the time. So try out the link. I am in the midst of a redesign of the site. I was tired of a few things and it seemed very necessary to recraft the site. It is by no means done but I am trying not to hang an "Under Costruction" label on the site and shut it down until 2020 until I manage to keep myself on task long enough to work all the details out. In the meantime I am still open for business but I will be adding things and changing order around almost every night. As always, I welcome any feedback. Poke around a little and let me know what you find, whether it is good, bad or indifferent.

In related news, I am completely thrilled with my overwhelming feedback on my contest. It is going to be really tough to pick the winners. Those out there that have contributed know who you are! I am a little disappointed you did not post on the blog entry like I asked but I am willing to forgive that. To all others that wish to get the largest prize I have come up with so far remember that the deadline for submissions is November 30th!!! It is a little more then a week away! Remember to craft your entry after gorging yourself on turkey or for those that skip meat..... tofurkey. I hear nothing beats writing on a full stomach, add a lot of alcohol and by all that is holy you will probably be the winner. Unless everyone takes my advice then you might need to hire Stewey, the rabbit to eliminate the competition. Go here to remind yourself of the contest rules: The Prove It Contest!

Lest I forget have a good holiday. Enjoy a day of family and friends and don't say no to dessert...... Your tummy can find room for dessert.

Kiwi!

Hey this Video is pretty cool! Read more about it here: http://www.isfat.com/happyjunk/kiwi.php

The Prove It Contest

I am looking for my number one fan. All of you claim to read this blog when I ask you and I get anoccasional email from an occasional person. Unfortunately I blog for attention and for a way to get my stupid stories out there. This contest is geared to reward people that read the blog. All I want is your opinion of a past entry. It can be this blog or the older blog "The Ramble Rouser". The better the review the better the prize. This time there can only be one winner so do your best. Try to make me laugh, get me to curse your very existence, get me to cry or get me to throw in the blogging towel. Either way do your best critique of one of my blogs and you might be the individual of the hour. Pick your favorite or your least favorite. All Submissions must be submitted no later then November 30th. All submissions must also be posted on this blog entry and have the blog title too reference the blog too which you refer. All blog entries made for the soul purpose of announcing contests or new stores are not really included unless you concoct one heck of a critique. The blogs containing other people's videos are out because they aren't really mine I just shared things I thought were clever. All entries must have someway for me to know who you are like a name and an email address. If you are afraid of spam then you haven't lived on the net long.... but you can always set up an online net email and use that for this contest but remember to check it after you submit.

Reasons for all submissions to be here. I won't have to repost the entry the contests are also thought up for pure entertainment value to be used by this blog. Please do your part and you could win a nifty Holiday prize pack. Which may include a shirt, a mug, a notebook, a signed picture of me or a can of chili. It may also include dirty laundry but not very likely. So do your best work and you could be a winner. At this website you can win more then once a year so all those that entered in the past are more then welcome to win again.

Once again the prize depends on how good your winning response is. I am not buying the prize until I pick a winner. So far all I know is no matter what the prize pack i it will include a sticker. I bought several for the last contest and I have extra. Thanks for the participation..... yeah.

MY First Moving Picture Piece

SO you are sitting there wondering what should I do tonight. Mike hasn't updated in a few days and I have nothing to laugh about. Well have no fear my Flash debut has been made head on over to http://crazedlunatikdesigns.tripod.com/index.html for the first look at a breathtaking epic. Forget Spielberg, Lucas and that Lord of the Rings guy Ihave made my first foray into a story told in pictures and that story is


THE SKIRMISH OF THE CELESTIAL ORBS!!!

GO there now and see it! It's an order!

One Chick beats a Gaggle of Girls

Hello all in legoland! How are you faring? I am doing pretty well except the textbook I need was snatched up before I could get to Barnes and Noble. The galling thing is that it's sitting on the hold shelf. If I had remembered the hold option that bloody book would be mine! It seems like cheating to hold it though, I would have found it easier to swallow if the person had come in and bought the dang book before I got there. Somehow that seems more civilized to me. So tomorrow I plan to call local bookstores and find a copy that I can put a "hold" on. In my state of total dejection I decided to head over to Chili's to have some food. I had a craving for their boneless buffalo wings and was about to make a buffalo wing combo with Chili's 3 appetizers for 9.99 thing. I can see it now boneless buffalo wings, bonelss shanghai wings and regular buffalo wings I was going to try them all and then probably vomit on my shoes after I left. Unfortunately that promo ended so I had the fajitas.... or did I?



According to this reciept I had 1 chick for $12.99! I bet you didn't know Chili's was in the "Escort" services! Booyah! Totally busted those dirty birdies! (Click the reciept to make it bigger.)

Anyway in other Chili's related news. As I was having my fajitas/chick I had a gaggle of young teeny bopper girls sit behind me. Their chosen topic of discussion.... Periods. Yeah, I mean menstruation. I am not talking about a way to show the sentence is at an end. So I ate my fajitas/chick and tried to focus all my energy into the TV that was showing ESPN. I pretended that I really was interested in what Dallas thinks about T.O. (Terrell Owens) dropping 6 passes this season. I read those closed caption notes like they were going to save me from instant death. Ok to be fair I know this event must be major and something that can be quite shocking and in certain situations downright embarrassing. I also know that it is part of being female. I also want to point out that the mom there was very cool and told stories right along with the girls which is how I think a conversation about natural and normal events should feel and be like. That p.c. stuff being said do you have to discuss it loudly at a public restaurant. I mean "HELLO! I'm eating here!"

Other then that it was a good night.

Give me NCIS or give me death!

It seemed like such a good idea this morning. I could see myself eating a great pasta dinner while I watched NCIS and drank half a bottle of wine. It seemed almost like a Hallmark moment really. My dinner was to be shared with people I cared a lot about: Ducky, Abby, McGee, Gibbs, and Ziva. Especially Abby and Ziva. I even planned ahead. You see it was my first week on the job officially and Tuesday was my day off on the new schedule. I woke up and caught up with Bob Barker and his beauties. I even promised to have my pets spayed or neutered. I checked my homework to see if the prof had graded the portfolio I had turned in. I watched the vhs tape I had made the night before when I had focused on my homework and not the TV. Then I ran out of the house and headed to Barnes and Noble so that when night came I wouldn't feel antsy. You see I usually feel antsy on my days off because I forget getting out is the key for me to stay sane. I try to do things new but because I am still struggling with the concept of a budget my funding was totally non-existant and that left me to focus on free and nearby excursions. So B&N it was. The rain had finally stopped after a week of nonstop insanity and it seemed like a now or never situation. I mention the rain only because it was abnormal rain. It has been raining hard since last week and normally when it rains here it kind of just drizzles. It was raining so hard that it flooded in places. If you heard the news up here you would think that we were experiencing Katrina level floodwaters.... the news get a little overzealous at times. And by "at times" I mean all the time. Anyway I spent a few hours reading books and not buying them at B&N and then I headed home. I started cooking dinner. I bought some Italian sausage to add some interest to my dish and I like those sausages to simmer in wine for a few hours which explains why I only polished off half a bottle since the other half was in use. It was time for NCIS and I had dished up a plate of goodness. I went to flip on the tube and I was met with some horribly dressed people talking about voting..... VOTING!!! What is the thing about watching the election numbers? I have been told by people that watching golf is boring but I bet half of those people that find golf boring watched the voting tallies. Here is the thing, the vote will be the same tomorrow and why waste time until the vote is completely tallied? I mean seriously? Besides aren't the elections news and don't they have a set time for news? You know during the news shows. I mean isn't prime time the time when TV puts on shows for entertainment value alone? You know lots of murder, scantily clad women but no bad words? It's not like people didn't know there was an election... with all the backstabbing and rampant slandering ads all over the place who could not know? So since it was preplanned it isn't like this was breaking news or anything. You know what else? Every decision the voters made will be in the news tomorrow. So don't interrupt NCIS!!!! Especially when you hyped the show all day! Yeah that's right, all day long I saw ads about the new episode of NCIS. I was looking forward to it and instead of a surly Gibbs I found some jerks talking about the election. Where the heck is Abby? Where is Ziva? And more importantly where is the justice in this world? I mean what kind of priorities are we raising our kids with when you cancel TV shows for political drivel? Seriously? Do you think that any person that has enough money to successfully run for an office can actually relate to any of you on any real level? If so send that person to my house I want to meet them. Until then put NCIS back on!

Gone Daddy Gone

You might recognize the song... you might not. Either way Gnarls Barkley does a great video and version of the song.


And yes I am being lazy and posting a video instead of writing..... you will get over it. I am working on a flash movie I am slightly distracted.

Thriller

I know that Halloween was yesterday but I just found this video today. It is an Indian version of Thriller. It is very amusing I just had to share!

A Halloween Poem

"The Knock"

It was Halloween night and I was bored
There was nothing to do, no movies of gore

I sat there reclined in my trusty blue chair
As my eyes took on a vacant glare

Flipping the channels, with my old gnarled remote
Huddled down in my old house coat

No trickers and no treaters came by my door
Not even with half of all the candy at the damn store!

When out on the porch came a big racket
As if someone wanted in, knocked hard, enough to crack it

I rushed to the door to peep through the hole
I saw a man who stood there with a name badge: Hi my name is Joel

I threw open my door and shook his hand
“Damn glad to meet you my name is Stan!”

He seemed quite shocked, a might taken back
With a puzzled expression he asked “Do you know Jack?”

“I have never met him! But I am sure he is great!
Are you hungry? Or have you just ate?”

I offered him some candy, all he could take
He said “Sorry, I don’t know you. But everything’s jake!

I am ok, I just have to go
I got all mixed up and knocked on the wrong doe!”

So I slammed the door, shut hard in his face
Figured next time that door rang I would come out with mace!

-Mike Williams 10/31/06

I like school. School is cool.

I have been doing a lot of writing for my online course and that is why I have been a bit MIA lately. It is hard to write a lot when you are already using that same source of inspiration earlier in the day. I have found all the assignments easy to do but some have been hard to get started on. The main focus of the course is techniques to help you succeed in an online learning environment and some things they have you do is take notes on the reading and post them, then we critique other peoples stuff. The last part is the hardest to do I have no idea how to critique study notes people make for their personal study habits. So I tend to find one thing I really like. For example I might say: "The bullet points help make these notes easy to follow and understand." Hmmm... yeah. So that is what I mean by using the same creative pool to produce the homework assignments and interaction as well as these blog entries. I take something small and try to blow it up into something worthy of putting hands to keyboard over... How am I doing so far? Of course the blog gets cheated because it is secondary to the education I am going deeper into debt for. I spend a good portion of my free time working on my assignments and responses to the school work even though I could probably put half the effort into it and still come up with a decent result. However I am trying to live by my new ways of thinking, outlined in New Thinking and the 1st October contest and I figure the best way to do that is by embracing each task and trying to make a worthwhile and honest effort of the end result. The bonus is that I have been able to use some of my blog entries in the career portfolio that is the central theme of this course. I have had some very favorable responses to what I have been bringing to the table. I have been working very hard at providing everyone with positive feedback even when it is harder to find. All of the people have something to bring to the table but some do not have the communication skills to do so very easily. That is what has been my biggest hang up and my focus has been on looking through the poor grammar, sentence structure and bad spelling and find their message and the figure out what speaks to me and talk about that. It is a good exercise to improve my people skills. That is how I am choosing to view it.

Other then that we have finally moved out of the evil windowless training room at work. We are at our desks and spending the days taking practice calls. I finally feel like we are learning how to do our jobs. The classroom environment seemed to be lacking the hands on aspect and I think that watching us on the practice calls was a wake up call to our supervisor. We have spent time on how to navigate the systems while everyone follows along in their own similar fake policy. November 6th is the day we officially start taking live calls so I think this week will be pretty intense. The focus will be on getting us ready to take real calls and I don't think they fell that we are ready. It is funny to see everyone stress out. I don't feel it. I am not worried about the calls I will focus on providing good and pleasant service and figure out how to get the speed down later. In other work news I worked a day at the tux shop. I am going to let them know to keep me in mind in the future. It would be nice to pick up some hours when that business picks up. I think I will be able to really help out during prom season, which is apparently an extremely busy time of year.

Don't forget about the contest going on at the New Thinking and the 1st October contest entry! Go there now!

More Florida Stew Pictures

I was talking to Stew after I ratted him out last night.... which he seems very upset about. He was telling me that he did a lot while he was in Florida and he insisted I include a few more pictures. The first one he wanted me to share was of the upcoming movie Miami Vice II: Just Stew. He says it will be a story of one rabbit on the hard road to redemption and the cops that give him carrots. Here is the promotional picture:

The next item is his involvement in the Miami-FIU brawl during their recent football game. He wanted me to share the various pictures. I do not believe he was going to school or playing football so what he was doing fighting is still unclear. My guess is he likes violence since he is a crazy rabbit and all.

He did want to make sure you all new it wasn't all about movies, brawling and putting a hit out on some bunnies. He also made time for the ladies!

The Useless Fish and The Traveling Rabbit

I ask my fish George to do one thing for me! Just one thing! Does he do it? Well do you see any entries in here? Neither do I! I said "Hey George, can you fill in at the blog while I get settled in the new job, the new school and while I have visitors?" George says "Not a problem man." So here I am, nearly 2 weeks later and I have no entries in here at all! I guess that is what you get for asking a fish to do anything! I would have asked Stew (the rabbit) but he was unavailable. Actually this is a funny story. You see a few weeks ago I get a call from Stew and he says "Hey Mikey I am going to Florida to pay a visit to some stinkin' rabbits that owe me some carrots. Think you could drive me?" I tell him all the things I have going on and he says "Well you know I would make it worth your while!" I respond "I know you would but us humans can't pay rent with carrots." He says "Well can you at least keep the old people happy while I am gone? I would leave a note but I have terrible penmanship!" I say well "Can it wait? I know they will be going out of town for a while during the holidays and I know they would miss you if you go MIA." He says "C'mon Mikey who wants bad news during the holidays? I thought you had more heart! Besides it makes more sense to have ghoulish murders during October." Which of course was true so I conceeded the point and promised to do what I could to comfort the old people and he and I ended our conversation. A few days later I get a call from my pops. He says "I have some bad news. Fluffy is gone." I am like "Who?" He says "Fluffy" I say "Who is that? Did you get another horse?" He responds "No Stewey!" I say "Oh STEW the rabbit! Did you look under the house?" So anyway they go about their business looking for the rabbit and he is sending me pictures from Florida! Like these:

Meanwhile Dad and Maryjo are worried but I get a call that he is heading back, his business is finished. He says "You will like how I fool them into thinking that they just misplaced me. It will be great" So I eagerly await news of Stews reappearance Finally my dad and Pete show up for their visit. We were having dinner one night when my dad says "Did I tell you about fluffy?" I of course said "Who?" He replies "Did I tell you about Stewey?" "No" I say playing unaware. His story went "We were real worried about him and he never showed up and we never saw him milling about the house or anything. Then we were putting our artist in residence up in the study, did I tell you we are housing an artist? Anyway she was putting things away when she went to open the closet ans out popped fluff... er... Stewey! He had been in the closet the whole time." I laughed and asked if Stew had been ravishingly hungry when he was sprung knowing he probably hadn't been considering all the carrots he had brought back. Then I laughed at the double entendre about Stewey coming out of the closet. Sorry Stew you knew it was coming! Don't whack me, I do not have any carrots!

So anyway life has been busy. My dad and Pete hung out for a week. They had Dim Sum like 3 or 4 days in a row. I had Dim Sum once, yay! They explored a bit and we watched a lot of football including a horrible demoralizing loss by the Cardinals on Monday Night Football. Which of course was upstaged by a humiliating loss to a winless Raiders team this past weekend... GO CARDS! Anyway the visit was fun but I am glad to be getting back into a routine. I found out Friday that my work routine will be similar to the one I have now when I actually start on the phones. Except that I will have Sunday and Tuesday off instead of Saturday and Sunday but the hours won't change. Other then that life is going good.

As a side note: There are only 2 winners in the why you persevere at work contest. Which means there are still 8 more prizes left! Hurry and enter today!

Some more Stew in Florida pictures for your enjoyment:

New Thinking and the 1st October CONTEST!!!

Have you ever just felt like time is rushing right past you? You stop to figure out where to go next and the years sneak past. I have felt that way on and off for the past year, well maybe the past decade. It might be because I will be turning 30 next year. It might be because I have had 5 jobs since this year began. It really doesn’t make much difference why I feel this way the point is that life goes on no matter what you decide to do. I moved to a new state to get a new life. Instead I learned a lesson or two.

What I learned this last year could probably feel a book but I just want to focus on one lesson: Jobs. There is no such thing as the always perfect job. No one can be happy and fulfilled by their job all the time. Even if they are doing what they always there can be several detractors. Coworkers can make life hard, supervisors can make you crazy, the job can be frustrating and tasks of the job can bite the big one. You are probably reading this right now thinking “This is a lesson you just learned?” What you are missing is the fact that my job hunt has always been driven by looking for that elusive perfect job. I have talked to plenty of people that have plugged away at a job that is extremely far from their ideal career and I always thought this person must have something in them that I am missing, I must be broken. In some respects that is true, I was missing something. What I was missing was motivation: Motivation to get me to work, motivation to continually perform well at my position and motivation to put in the time to make it all work. I also realized that I had no real idea how to find that motivation. I had no idea how to create the motivation to work hard and faithfully, besides making sure my rent was paid each month. Strangely bills have never really been that big of a motivator for me, which is kind of funny considering the responsible parents I sprang from. That was the case until just recently. I have found myself thinking a little differently, just a small change in my thinking about work. I find myself participating in training exercises more and I also find myself actually wanting to know things about the job. I am not relying on my ability to pick things up because I actually want to do a genuinely good job.

The thing is that I am not real sure what caused this change. I have made so many changes recently in addition to surviving 2 and a half extremely hard years. There are a lot of things that contributed to my attitude change. The reasons I see as definite contributors towards my new thinking are: wanting 1 stable job amidst a horrible and spotty job history, needing stable income to reinvent myself (this time for real), the ability to actually afford to do something with my design and writing dreams, needing a job that can support my newly enrolled scholastic pursuit and (most shockingly) actually seeing other things I want to try within the company I work for. I have a strange desire to learn new things and that has always been my basis for looking longingly at a new job in a completely new field. I never paid much attention to what the company could offer me besides what I was doing. Sure I said I was interested in opportunities in my interview but I was never serious. It just sounded like something that I should be saying, a thing they wanted to hear me say. This time I really want to get into other departments and figure out what they are all about. I feel really comfortable with what the new job is asking from me and I know that I need to keep my head in there and I figure since I need to do that anyway I might as well really make a go at the other internal opportunities that are open to me. That is a different feeling for me. I am sure people have heard me talk about other opportunities at other jobs I have held but this feels different. I want them to want me. I am now fighting singing the song by Cheap Trick right now.

I don’t know what else to say to paint a better and clearer picture for you. I guess I just need you to trust me and offer some support for this change in my thinking.

That being said I want to announce a contest for a NINJA SHREDZ sticker.

OCTOBER CONTEST #1

The rules are simple but a little more involved then last time. I want to hear from you about what motivates you to make it to work. Whether it be family obligations, paying for school, a mortgage or some other random reason. I want you to write a small essay style response. If you send me something with a little bit of thought behind this question and you are in the first ten responses you will be a winner. It’s that easy. Yep, there are ten chances to win.

(It is contest number one because if I get the ten responses before the month is over I have contest #2 already ready)

Life, learning, living and poetry

It seems I have forgotten the blog. A new job and a new scholarly pursuit and the blog gets the back burner treatment. The new job is great, the people are nice and it seems like something I can do. I especially like that it is actually paying me a wee bit of money. I plan on working there for a while and trying out other departments. I know that it will be the usual call center environment where you have to strap in and hold on. The thing that works is that I am not selling people anything. I am just trying to help them out.

That brings me to the scholarly pursuit. I enrolled in the Art Institute for the Media Arts and Animation degree. It is online so everyday after work I come home and do my homework. That has been a lot of fun. There are a variety of people that populate the online learning environment and so far I have found them all pretty interesting. I think I will be able to learn something from the people I am taking the class with. Some of them have a lot of experience in the industry and some just seem to like to draw. Anyway I jumped in head first so I hope I made a good choice. We shall see where all the cards fall.

I have been writint a little bit every day. So even though I am not on here I am still writing. I wanted to share something with you:


The Slow Down

The soft rays of the setting sun cling desperately to the earth,
Things are left half in shadow, my balcony railing, my arms and my legs
The other half glows in the soft yellow sunlight of a day nearing its end
The weather betrays no trace of the changing seasons
Sunny, warm and bright: 3 words that completely describe this day
Wind rustles through the leaves of the still very green trees
Creating a soft shushing sound like a mother calming her baby
I watch and hear it all
As the Sun's rays turn a glowing orange
Before descending into the darker colors of night