Long Days

Well this week started out weird. My desk mate at work Crystal (She was mentioned during the RTA 2007 ceremony as a nominee), came in about midday on Monday and tendered her resignation. It was not totally out of the blue. She had become increasingly irritated with some of the stat counting that had become the focus of the job. Even though the interview consisted of them telling us how stats aren't that big of a deal as long as you take care of your customer. That wasn't the only reason she quit but I am sure it helped make the decision for her. She has some serious family stuff going on right now and wanted to have time to take care of things properly. The whole problem is that now I am the only one in my row and I am dying of boredom. The evil company also cracked down on drawing, reading and any other activity between calls so I don't even have the relief of drawing during my increasingly lengthening wait times. I am bouncing off the walls! The sad thing is this week I am spending half of my time in training and the other half on the phones. Once training is over I will be taking calls in our new system and I will not have long wait times but I still need something to make the day tolerable again. Stupid no drawing rule! Stupid no neighbor having area! At least next week we get back in the class room for 4 full days instead of 1 full day and 3 half days. Training has the benefit of neighbors to keep me occupied. Anyway this week has seemed really long. I can not wait until this time tomorrow!

A Rambling Review of 28 Weeks Later

It was a movie going experience like no other. I was the first to walk into the theater and I had an open seat selection. I chose dead center. I put my soda in the cup holder and I prepared to wait out the next 20 minutes before show time by playing a stupid game on my mobile phone. A total of 6 other people came in and it was nearly time. I switched my phone to silent mode and got ready for the film to begin. The room went dark and the previews started and then 20 people came in. All 20 people sat in the two rows directly behind mine. They were loud too! Eating popcorn like cows grazing in the field and by that I meant they must have trucked it in because all 20 people were mowing down the popcorn. It was insanity I could barely hear the trailers over the crunching. I was debating on whether to move or not when the movie started and they all went quiet. Completely quiet! For 30 fricking seconds! That was when somebody started uttering the phrases that the actor had just said. I turned and looked in the general direction when the on screen actors heard a loud banging on the door and some kid begging to be let in. I turned back to the movie and they had let the kid in (always a mistake in horror movies, never help people when you are in a horror movie, it just sends bad karma your way). Anyway these people allow the kid some food and he is obviously hungry and he is stuffing food into his dirty face with his hands when one of my uneducated 'friends' behind me decide to say "Oh that is disgusting!" Which, let's be realistic people, is surprising, this is a horror movie about zombies. Zombies like to eat live people.... you have to expect this movie to have disgusting moments, and this scene of a starved child was not one of them. So my shocked and horrified 'friends' and I watched the kid continue to stuff his face when some girl looks out a boarded up window (another bad thing to do in horror movies if you commit to hiding then pretend like there is no outside) and of course an enraged zombie bursts through for a quick bite. This does not offend my discerning palated 'friends' because for the next few minutes of frantic running and bashing of zombies, utter silence prevails. The scene was mystifying because it did not focus on anything and made you feel like the camera man was actually being attacked by the zombies.... In fact I could not even tell who was being attacked or what was going on and I did not much care for that. Then the man with the crowbar who is there with his wife goes looking for her while she is looking for the boy that they let in that ended up leading these zombies to them. See how being kind in horror movies always ends up biting you in the backside? Anyway the zombies follow him up to the room and he is dragging his wife away when she sees the boy so she breaks the hold and goes to the boy as the zombies break down the door (once again helping people in horror movies is a big no-no). She starts calling for her hubby to save her but he decides to save his own butt and shuts and bolts a door and ends up running away while the zombies close in on him. His wife is beating on the window as he runs across the field to a motor boat. She gets yanked away from the window and the husband is the only survivor.....

Enter a new world. The zombie crisis is over because these zombies ate their entire food supply (us if you have not been keeping up) and the US army is working on taking London back. They have managed to have a little city that is home to quite a few people and is beginning to receive new people every day. Two kids are on the flight 'home' much to the surprise of our lovely doctor friend. They of course are our faithful but cowardly husbands kids. He tells the kids a slightly different tale of their mother's demise (which means it will come back to haunt you if you are in a horror movie). The kids are there barely a day when they decide to go to their real home to get some items, like a picture of mommy dearest. While they are there they discover a completely crazy mom who is surprisingly not dead just a little off the deep end. You hang out with zombies, hide in an attic and think you are the only person left alive in London and we shall see how sane you are! Anyway she obviously is immune to the virus that causes the lovely zombieism but she is not disease free. She carries the virus from at least one bite sustained during her zombie infested day. The husband gets infected from a kiss and soon the town is being firebombed by the US Army! GO TEAM! USA! USA! USA! This movie makes think the whole world hates us. Anyway the doctor has realized somewhere along the way that the kids are valuable for a possible vaccine and she along with an Army guy decide to get them safely out of London. The two helpers die, the kids don't but the son gets infected and he is of course immune. Needless to say the kids get out of London and they take out France with the sweet virus.

Through the whole movie I had the group of rejects talking, munching, getting up to use the bathroom a gajillion times and generally be distracting and obnoxious. I was really wishing a chainsaw wielding maniac would decide to come through the door a few times and dispose of my unwanted companions in a horribly bloody manner but it never happened. So the movie was tainted a bit and I have debated about doing this review because the retarded 20's involvement in my movie going experience may have completely biased my review. That being said I have decided either way I need to review it with all honesty. I loved 28 Days later, the original movie. I did not love 28 Weeks Later. The movie failed to introduce anything new to the genre. The zombies, who were groundbreaking in the first movie, were exactly the same. They were fast moving nightmares and the virus took hold immediately. That was an amazing difference from prior zombie flicks where you wondered where the real danger was when all the zombies moved at the speed of sloths. The zombies don't seem to change except maybe the dad zombie, infected by the immune mom, seems smarter. Maybe the mom's version of the virus improves his resourcefulness but I am not sure and I frankly never cared. That was where the problem originates. I was never made to care about these characters. I never hoped for them in the slightest and I was not shocked by anyone's fate. I also was annoyed by the frantic camera work that made it hard to see what was happening and to who it was happening. I know this is a style a lot of up and coming film makers seem to employ for action sequences but I did not like it in the Bourne Identity and I did not like it here. In fact it was rather distracting. Another annoying thing is the movie is very quiet for the most part. All the scenes not involving zombies seemed to be at a whispered volume. Combine that with deaf people and then lines are missed as the crowd repeats what was said the line before. I missed whole snippets of dialogue and was very annoyed by that. Maybe the movie house is to blame there. Well not 'maybe' it's more a definitely. When you hear the Spiderman 3 noise over the crazy zombie scene you know there is an issue. In a positive note I have to say that the teenaged daughter had amazingly expressive eyes and she did a wonderful job in showing emotion throughout the movie. She could have saved the movie and she very well might have had I not had the entire congregation of A.R.C. sitting behind me repeating lines to the hearing impaired in the group. I will probably get this movie from Netflix when it comes out on video just to make sure my disappointment in the movie was because of the movie and not because of the experience. If anything changes in my assessment of this movie I will let you know. If you should go see this movie I would love to hear your thoughts on it. Am I wrong or right? Was this as bad as it seemed or was it a gem that I should revisit?

Happy Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day! Happy Mother's day to my mom and every other mom out there. A special note goes out to Robert and Denise who are new parents of twins. Little Ethan and Cole are freshly minted and keeping their parents busy already.

All New Blog Entries Until I Stop Writing Them!

Have any of you been watching anything on NBC lately? I am sure all of you are much to smart to be watching the crap they push on you at NBC. I am just saying that I am not. I have been watching NBC kind of half heartedly. I like Heroes but I am not sure exactly why because to me it does not seem very likable. I bet that last confession just put somebody into therapy. The other show I like is The Real Wedding Crashers. It is usually hard to watch in one sitting so I usually tape it and watch it in spurts. I can't imagine a second season. It could only get zanier and I am betting that would get less fun super quick. My favorite scene was in this last Monday's episode and it involved a guy named Skippy who is not what you would call a ladies man... anyway they set two girls up to argue over him and have him just sitting there looking confused, here is a video clip.Anyway these shows are not the reason I wanted to talk about NBC. Although mentioning popular shows does raise my hit count and I always like that. The reason I am talking about NBC is there advertising sucks lately. They have been ending all their show announcements with the phrase (pardon the bold): "ALL NEW UNTIL THE END OF THE SEASON". Pardon me if I am missing something but isn't that how every single television season works? If I recall correctly it works this way: new shows until the season is over and then reruns. Now of course it works this way 3 new shows then a mid-season hiatus so long that they show 14 prior seasons and then premier 4 new shows. Then the season is over and we have a break until the next season. Every time I hear that phrase I feel like turning the TV off and picking up a book. I have read 7 books in the last month. And cnn.com has the nerve to ask "Where have all the viewers gone?" I am all over that! We can never tell when it is actually new shows on the damn TV so now we rent the damn show from Netflix! MORONS!!!

The show that seems to be firmly attached to this new tagline seems to be ER. I have to ask this. Who in their right minds still watches this show? I have never been a fan, admittedly, but I amazed the damn thing is still on! Seriously George CLooney was last on that show in 1978! End this show soon! Why is it still on? When they start having tag lines like "ER: The Wedding' the show is way past over.

Seeing how I am in mid rant here I think I am going to switch gears. Have you looked at Craigslist for pets? If you haven't go do it now. There seems to be some trend in the world of animal adoption that says in order to properly entice people to take this animal you must type the note as if you are the animal. I have a few examples here: Ex 1, EX 2, & Ex 3 (my favorite). What is wrong with people? I first of all know animals can't type but I feel that if they could they would not type up this crap. I think these animals have to be ten times smarter then these owners that are trying to ditch them. Every time I read a note like this I feel like taking the person to the pound to be put to sleep! Who thought it would be clever to start doing this? Why does this continue? I figure if you really want to type as if you are the animal at least give the animal an edge or something. Here is my example of a proper dog writing a letter trying to get a new home:
Example 1
Seriously ya gotta spring me this dame is all batty! It just gonna be like 200 for the papers and I am a free dog. I swear I'm good for it! I won't poo on your rug more then every other Tuesday! I will only eat the ugly fluffy couch pillow! I'm a good dog I deserve to live! Seriously the other day I was snipped! I mean I am harmless, I won't even hump your stuffed Kermit the Frog! Please just come and bust me outta here! There is all these other dogs and I have to sleep with one eye open! The pound ain't a place for pretty faced dogs like me! Honest it ain't! I can't even turn the corner without someone dropping the soap. I am too young to die! C'mon mista! I ain't gonna cost you much and the dames will really like me. I am a lady pleaser. I won't even pass gas in front of them or nothin! HONEST YA GOTTA HELP!!! I'M BEGGIN YA!!!


Example 2
Hey look at this bloody mess of a hat! They got me wearing this outfit like I am some sorta suuuper model or some such nonsense! It is bollocks if you ask me I ought to chomp their face off I should! Serve' tha lot of 'em right, dontcha think? Granted I'm not the tallest dog on the yard but a bloody raincoat! What am I Paddington bloody Bear? That one is a right jerk if you ask me! Sitting around in a raincoat all day wif nuthing going on ahtall! Should be ashamed he should! He's a ruttin' ol' bear not a bloody train station commuter. Where does a bear go that he needs a locomotive? It's bloody nonsense if you ask me! Anyway I would love to come to your home if you are not a right idiot that thinks they should dress me up in some bloody fool outfit. It just isn't decent! Cheers!

Training and more training

It was another fantabulous day in my life. I had a car that ran and a completely cleaned out checking account and more then likely my pop had a squeaky clean checking account as well. Stupid mechanic nonsense! Let's not waste times on trivial matters of past events. I will move forward. I went to work for the first day of training on the new systems. It wasn't too bad, they had us using the system right away which was a major complaint before for me. The class has a sense of humor and so does the trainer which is a good thing because that is how I stay awake is by laughing and making the boring stuff seem fun. It was about mid-day when I had my first wave of horror. As I sat eating my microwaved disaster I remembered that I had continuing education class that night from 6 to 9. The class, although tedious and horrible, was not the issue. The issue was my empty bank account and the lack of preparing for two meals today. I had brought one lunch and had a dollar fifty in my pocket. I was doomed to have a bag of chips and a can of soda for dinner. Then the reality of only one friend being in the class with me sank in. I was without entertainers and people to complain with. Then the reality of being at work from 7:45 to 4:30 hit really hard and I felt despair. I was sitting at my desk after being let out of training early.... waiting for the clock to hit 4:30 so I could clock out. I was a little confused as to what to do about dinner and what to do for an hour and a half. When the girl next to me gave me a buck towards dinner and I found 50 cents in my soda fund. I ran to Wendy's and got a 2.99 meal deal. It made my night. My coworker rocks!! Please forget about me damning her in the last blog for being right about my car! Then I just sat around and caught up on some email and looked at couches online at IKEA. Not that I will ever be able to buy a couch but I looked anyway.

The ce class was almost like the last class I took. The same monkey brained guy kept making comments and I kept feeling like kicking him during the presentation or shanking him.... Then I got a brilliant idea and I drew a story where the guy was eaten by my character Croc. Actually he was beheaded by Croc. Which made me giggle and kinda of ended up helping me overcome my ire. Kind of... I think I am skipping the next ce class.

Cars.......

Do you ever notice that your car decides to betray you when there is nothing that can be done? I definitely noticed. I was driving home Friday, from an interesting evening that probably deserves it's own blog but will never see one... A light on my dash popped up it was my little battery icon. I had been driving for ten minutes now and the car had had no trouble starting up. I thought "Hmm.... it is a battery light but I know a dead battery and this is not a dead battery. I mean I am driving in the car, it has juice." I unplugged my iPod and turned off the radio. I turned off the heater and I drove in silence. My car was eerily quiet. If you know my car you know it is never ever quiet. It rattles along making all sorts of racket and a horrible jarring noise engulfs the cars whenever the exhausted shocks encounter a large bump or pothole. It is just part of my car and has been since a few months after I got it. After whatever those crafty Used Car Salesmen did at Tempe Dodge so it would sound smooth and quiet long enough for someone to buy it. In fact it often worries my passengers, fearing that the car will just go kaput right where we idle during a red light. It is the sound it should make and the sound I expect to hear from it when I am driving. A sound that means my car will continue moving. Friday night it made no sound as it idled, it made no sound as I drove and it didn't even object to the potholes in the street. It sounded like a car they make advertisements about. That combined with the glowing red battery light told me whatever was wrong was not a simple battery.
I woke up Saturday morning expecting to have a dead vehicle but it started. It started without the little light and without the comforting rattle of a car that always sounds like it will die at any moment. I hoped that the light would go away and that after work those guys at Les Schwab would say "Oh it's just a 50 dollar battery. No worries." Halfway to work the light was back. I worked all day long thinking about that stupid light. Crystal my cubicle neighbor said "It comes on after a little while? It's probably your alternator." Damn her and her prediction. It was a battery! It had to be, I could not afford anything else. I would later discover, much to my chagrin, that I didn't even have enough for that imagined battery. I rushed out of the evil towers that I called work and I headed to those ever so friendly Les Schwab guys. The guy caught me before I walked in the office and soon he was testing my car. "Your battery is fine. Your alternator is the problem." I asked him if they could get it fixed he said "We do not work on alternators." Then laughed mysteriously. OK so there was no mysterious laugh, but strangely enough as I wrote this line a loud mysterious laugh came from my neighbor... talk about creepy! Anyway he recommended a place that was closed at 3 and seeing how it was 4:50 I thanked him for his non-help. I drove home and looked at all the closed auto places thinking who the heck told them they could run on banking hours? As if breaking down only happened on the week day? How inconvenient is it that we all wait until Monday through Friday to get our cars fixed? I headed home and I stayed there. The next day I got up and called twenty places all of them were closed. I went back to bed. I got up again and watched Rome an HBO series about the Roman empire. It is interesting but not captivating if you ask me. Then I went out to my car half expecting it to not work. It started up in the same eerily quiet manner but soon there was a new and distinctly different rattle then I had ever heard and a weird metallic noise. I stumbled across an open Firestone, which amazed me. They unfortunately could not get the part today so I left. I drove all around and nothing else was open. I took my car home and I have sat here in worry ever since. I have no idea if this thing will start tomorrow. No idea if it will strand me somewhere and no idea how I was going to get the alternator fixed. So I made a decision. With some help from my dad I am taking tomorrow off and I am getting my car to someone that can fix my car the same day. Then I will pay my dad back. Not a great plan, or a good one even but it is a plan.

Neighbors and my afternoon of AIN'T

It's that wonderful time of year again when the sky is not forecasting rain and the temperature nearly lulls you into never making it back from lunch. In fact today as Chad and I ate at a place called Naked Pizza we had to skip the accompanying beer because we feared that we would never go back to work. I knew that I would run the other direction with a beer, a beautiful day and cute girls walking by. It was hard enough going back with out the sweet nectar of a hop filled beverage! Really really super duper hard. I started daydreaming of my patio, a book and several beers waiting for me when I got off. I could see the perfection, I was totally in the daydream zone. Of course the inevitable happened I got stuck on a call and left twenty minutes late from work. I hit horrible traffic and my perfect day was marred. I made it home still dreaming of a chair, a beer, a book and a patio. Unfortunately the neighbors were outside. They are always outside it seems, being loud and taking up space. The kids I understand but the adults? Do they ever work? I opened the sliding glass door to get the air flowing through and along with a light breeze their voices came along. Sentences peppered with "ain't", ethnic slurs and just really bad grammar. It was a mix of redneck and Ebonics the likes I hope to never hear again. I shut my door and I dealt with the stuffy apartment and as soon as they disappeared I opened the door again but the day was gone, the perfect moment spoiled. On the bright side the cool air helped cool the place down. I started watching an "exciting program" that ended up being a rerun of a show aired two seasons ago that I had seen. Not a rerun of a show from this season which I pretty much have completely missed. No, a rerun that had already ran! I was trying to ease myself into it anyway to achieve the relaxation I had so perfectly envisioned earlier that day when the final nail was driven into this day and this apartment's coffin. A very tumultuous verbal exchange took place between a girl and a guy about another girl that had apparently been sparked by a comment. It was loud distracting and every bad word ever invented found it's way into the conversation, along with a boatload of "ain'ts". I was done. I have said that I am on the lookout for an apartment within a hundred dollars of my current rent. After that fight I meant it, I sent contact letters to places I have scoped out and I have been scoping out a lot more. I am hoping to be closer to work and to the area of town I always end up bar hopping. I figure killing two birds with one stone would be a good move on my part. I need to get away from this area and closer to where my small group of friends live and a place that could be a Max ride or a bicycle ride to as opposed to a mandatory car ride filled with irritation and inept drivers all around me. I plan on apartment hunting a little Sunday. All the office hours seem to work against me so I will probably do most of the searching this Wednesday. So wish me luck. I need to be away from this area and in the big town and closer to people I actually know and like hanging out with.

Another thing I have decided from my Jerry Springer cast that live near me is that I have to stop cussing altogether. I need to relegate it to the surprise exclamations, the pain filled moments and the extreme mental anguish periods. It makes you sound ten times stupider then you normally do and most of us can't afford to lose that many points. :)

RTA 2007 WINNER!

Yeah you heard it here first! Amazingly coming back to beat all odds we have a winner of a 2007 Repetitive Task Award! Croc would you do the honors!

Croc: Thank you esteemed creator of me and this silly award show.... I would love to have a winner! I mean I certainly don't hate them for cutting into my beer drinking and pizza eating... not one bit! I swear I am not thinking of eating your chickens and stealing your horse in the middle of the night. Seriously. Anyway for the award of PAYING YOUR BILLS we are proud to announce Dale W as the winner. Wolf is standing by to read you his wonderful Thank you note, take it away Wolf!

Wolf: Thank you Croc! Dale wrote a heartrending acceptance speech that I am pleased to share with you today. Here it is! "Well, I hope this is not to late since I need free stuff. I am honored to be chosen in the Paying your Bills category. I have decided since I have finally been recognized for my bill paying skills I can retire from that job. Did you know if you roll bills real tight you can burn them in a billburning stove. They can not be opened. They burn hot!"

Croc: What? Wait did he just say he burns people named Bill in a stove?

Wolf: Is that what he was on about? I thought he was talking about a bloke named Bill Burningstove that was a real tight wad and never gave money to people.

Croc: Let me read it again.... "Well, I hope this is not too late since I need free stuff and I want to use up all of Croc's pizza and beer money because I am evil incarnate! I am honored to be chosen in the Paying Bill category and the stealing of pizza from the mouths of a starving Croc and ripping thirst quenching beer goodness from his palate. I have decided since I have finally been recognized for my Bill paying skills I can retire from that job because in addition to paying off Bill I have taken away all of Croc's hope and dreams because I am an actual beer thieving demon. Did you know if you roll Bill real tight you can burn him in a Bill burning stove just like the money I ripped from the grasp of Croc's favorite bartender and used to light a cigar with. They can not be opened, much like beer at the store can't be opened if you have no money to buy it. They burn hot just like Croc's beer craving throat!" Yep he is talking about burning Bill and taking away the world's beer one sad little Croc at a time! What a sadist!

Wolf: Yeah that is much worse then what I was imagining he said. So he gets a prize for burning people named Bill in a stove and taking away your beer?

Croc: That's what I was told! That he was the only winner! What a weird group, I think next year I will just wait for the Billboard Music Awards to invite me to be a host! Forget the 2nd annual RTA's! I am going to host for someone who will actually get a Croc a beer and a pizza... and perhaps a few Crockettes!

Wolf: Me Too! Except I want wolfettes and those drinks with the little umbrellas on them.

This Repetitive Tasks Award Ceremony has been brought to you by: Stoves for Burning Bill because that guy is a real jerk! And also to the Reelect Bill Burningstove to US Congress in 2008 campaign because he sure loves not spending your money and everyone needs a tightwad! And the guy who came up with the little umbrellas for your drinks, he loves your patronage so make it a mai tai!

RTA 2007 VICTORIOUS!!!!

It seems I have won my little protest and the original designs are available again.... I put the eBay shirt back out just to see if the fact that I took it off was the reason the mug reappeared.... We shall see!

Censorship and a Protest!

I have been censored. I have been plugging away blogging and creating stupid Cafepress items for a year and then I get censored! Can you believe it? You probably want to know why but I can only tell you that two of my most recent images at Cafepress have been put under a red flag status meaning my items with the images can not be shown, sold or produced on any images by that company. The images are for the Repetitive Task Awards schwag! I was given no reason for the trampling of my rights. In fact they never bothered to even let me know they had been pulled from my shop. Not even a "This may violate such in such rule and we are pulling it until we can make a decision as to the validity of your images" email. So I am not sure if they will be cleared or what the big deal is. I have an idea but it only accounts for one of the images. The first on I am about to share is actually the one I don't get. Help me identify something wrong with it...



The second item may be the cause of the ban. I use the company eBay on the shirt. It is pretty innocent though. Judge for yourself!



SO I have decided to poke fun at this by creating a protest shirt. Check it out and then buy it!



Help me fight the man... at least until they pull this one too!

RTA REMINDER!!!!

Ok I know I asked you guys to write a thank you speech and I understand the incredible difficulty of the task but I have faith in each and everyone of you. It's for free stuff after all! I am sure you guiys like Happy Hour with free food and they make you buy a drink first! I am not asking for money.... unless you wanna give it to me. I am not even expecting you to be funny just a quick thank you speech. Tomorrow is the last day.... without one no prize! It's super easy! Just write "Thanks for the award now give me the free schwag!"

The Repetitive Tasks Awards 2007

This program is sponsored by Crazed Lunatik Designs and other many fabulous organizations such as Mud On My Sneakers and Vomiting Green Records. Without further ado we introduce our hosts for the night Croc and Wolf!



Croc: Greetings Folks! Glad to be here today! It's a beautiful day outside here in lovely Portland! Woo I love you Portland you have been a great crowd!

Wolf: Croc! Slow your roll! We just got here the show just started and we have awards to give out! You can't leave!

Me: Yeah besides just a few of us are up here in Portland. Some people are in Phoenix, some in Roseburg and other spots in the world. In fact the protester is actually in Chicago.... which is probably why there is no picket line to cross to get in the doors. Now shut up and read your cue cards.

Croc: Wow.... real nice guy you are. Just because you draw me and write my words doesn't mean you control what I do! I know where you live! Seriously! I am so not playing! Lucky for you I am a showman and the show must go on.... so lets try this again. Greetings Folks! Glad to be here today! I am so glad we are here and not where all the rest of you are. Portland is having a nice day outside, the sun is shining and flowers are blooming.



Wolf: Not that we want to rub it in or anything.....

Croc: True! Anyway we are here today to honor the people who will never be rich, the common people. The sorry, the poor, the unwashed, you are my inspiration. You inspire me!

Wolf: Shut up Croc! Do you even look at the cue cards he wrote for you? This is a special day for the ordinary people not lazy poor people! I, for one, am glad that I could take part in this extremely pointless award show. I mean the pointlessness of this event is only barely less pointless than the Food Networks "Foodies" or ESPN's "Espys". It is at least as equal to the MTV Music/Movie Awards in pointless level. Don't even get me started on the other award shows... they suck. Wait do I have to say that? I love watching the red carpet reports and I love the music acts and the silly comedians that sold their souls to earn the right to host the show....

Me: Croc! Wolf! Don't make me erase you two! I kind of like you!

Croc: Like you would even dare! What an empty threat! You draw in pen!

Wolf: He has a point...

Me: Could you present the awards?

Croc: Actually, no... there are no acceptance speeches. Just a protest statement by your cousin in chi-town.

Wolf: Yeah didn't you tell them to get the speeches ready?

Me: Well yeah I guess I did. Hmmm.... I wonder why the speeches never came in?



Croc: I say we go out and drink up the award money!

Wolf: Actually I think you should give them another chance... because maybe they didn't know they had to have a speech to win.

Me: Well why wouldn't they? I told them that.

Croc: You're right you did tell them that! I smell beer and pizza in our near future!

Wolf: NO!!! Give them a week. Then if still nothing lets get that beer and pizza.

Me: Ok Wolf that sounds good to me. Dale, Maryann, Glenn, Pete S, Pat G and Crystal! You have one week left to actually get an award. You are the winners but I need an acceptance speech to spend the cash.

Wolf: Can I tell the surprise winner?

Me: Yeah go ahead.



Wolf: Robert W, what size shirt do you wear? You are the surprise award winner for most repetitive anti-award show poster! You are a wiener of a new RTA shirt! I meant winner, really!!

Croc: Woo! I love wieners with mustard and relish!

Me: Yes, wieners with mustard and relish are good... especially with some onion and a spot of ketchup... or is that catsup? The rest of you: ONE WEEK + ONE SPEECH = AN AWARD!

Repetitive Task Awards Revealed

I have set up a shop where you can get some Repetitive Task Awards merchandise. It is all brilliant and hastily made. Rejoice in you consumeristic natures. Get you RTA 2007 swag now!

A Quick Repetitive Tasks Award Show Update

Due to unforeseen circumstances this show has been delayed but the wait is over! Sunday the awards show shall happen! It will be hosted on this very blog by two of the soon to be fun and exciting characters known as Wolf and Croc! Some of you have met them before and some have not but soon very soon they will be introduced. Try Sunday! Then after that their many adventures should start airing on this very blog! (As long as I figure out how to do that... anyone who knows how to do more then basic html can take part in my newest project. I would love any help or advice! Contact me if you are interested by email or by posting here.) Anyway the awards show has an exciting prize for the winner of each of the following categories. I hope the nominees have their speeches ready. Do not make Wolf or Croc do the speech for you they are notoriously bad at social responsibilities and it may result in embarrassment. In addition to the yet to be revealed prizes I have a yet to be revealed winner and category. If that is not the hook of all hooks! Here are the nominees and their respective categories (betcha can't guess who will win!):

Paying Your Bills Award
Dale W

Bad Music Lover Award
Glenn S

The Night Snorer Award
Maryann S

Daily Showering Award
Pete S

Deleting Spam Emails Award
Pat G (she even has to delete Spam emails at work)

Phone Call Transfer Award
Crystal H (She spent most of a day transferring incoming calls to other departments)

PS DON'T FORGET TO SCROLL DOWN!

Memorial Benches..... The Return of

You blindly logged on today thinking "Wow I wonder what Mike is complaining about today? Is it school, the job, a co-worker, a dumb movie, hackey sacking? I must know!" Then you get here and I am complaining about Memorial benches at the nearby park again. It makes you wonder why anyone would be allowed to blog at will...

Set all your dashed dreams and hopes aside I am ready to begin my story. So I have been taking walks when the weather permits again. They are still doing major construction at my park so I photograph the heck out of the nearby rose garden. I stopped harassing the old people and the retirement center unless I need a flushing toilet... So it occurred to me to look at the various plaques on the memorial benches in the memorial rose garden. I was amazed at some of the things I found so I photographed them to bring back to you. Keep in mind that I do not want a memorial bench when I kick the bucket, I would rather have a tree planted or a strip mall bulldozed in my name...


This is my rose garden. I may not own it but I love spending time there. The gazebo in the background is pretty nice but I never see it in use. They rent the place out to functions supposedly but it does not host local music or anything nifty. Which is a downright shame. We shall start the bench tour a wee bit on the inane side...



I am not sure if these people are dead but if any of my 'Friends' buy me a bench it better say something a lot more clever then that! I am actually offended that someone wasted money on this. If I knew these 'Friends' I would so own their behinds it is not even funny!


What exactly does this saying mean? This is the biggest bunch of hooey in the world. I feel like finding out how to start a Night of the Living Dead scenario just so this memorialized person can eat this dedicators brains. I mean they are not using them as this stupid memorial plaque can attest too! Really what does that mean "Time takes all but love and truth"? But that's not what it means it distinctly means to blathe, and as we all know to blathe means to bluff. Heh, so they were probably playing cards and he cheated...
"Liar! Liar! LI-AR!"
Get back witch!
"I'm not a witch I'm your wife but after what you just said I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore!"
You never had it so good! Wait! Somehow I twisted this into a Miracle Max and Valerie quote from the movie The Princess Bride. The twists my writing unexpectedly tape... and just because I ran out at 10 Pm at night to buy the movie to get the quote right have nothing to do with lessening the spontaneity.


Just so we are all clear 'clinge' is not a word. Cling, clingy, clinger, clinginess is a word and clingier and clingiest are even words but 'clinge' is not. The closest we come is a Dutch town called Clinge. It is in the province of Zeeland. It lies about 28 km southwest of Bergen op Zoom. Clinge is located on the Dutch-Belgian border and joins with the Belgian town of De Klinge, a border that can normally be freely crossed. The town consists of about 1447 inhabitants according to a report taken back in 2001. (The information in italics is taken and summarized from Encyclopedia.com) So what I am trying to say is that the 'Clinge' the plaque uses is not actually spelled right.... just to double check try to fit in "Clinge a Dutch town in the province of Zeeland". I will do it for you: "I will Clinge, a Dutch town in the province of Zeeland, to the old rugged cross and exchange it someday for a crown" It does not make much sense does it? So I guess nothing beats purchasing a plaque and then misspelling an easy to spell word like cling. You probably are thinking Mike you misspell words all the time but hey I didn't pay to put the misspellings there I did it all for free.


This one really boils my blood! I absolutely hate this plaque. Let's read it together: "When the past meets the future stop and smell the roses...." Ok you guys go first what does this mean? I have had fortune cookies in Chinese characters make more sense then this. I could understand Sanskrit before I could tell you what the goal of this saying was. It was like a computer crash happened and this saying should have been two different plaques but the crash melded them together! I just want to let Mickey and his half-wit family know that I am ready for a fight on this one! Your stupid plaque has bothered me for days already and if I don't kick a little tail over this I will utter this utterly retarded phrase on my deathbed and like Citizen Kane's last words people will be like "What the crap did that mean!" (Direct quote from the movie I swear!)


This one is my favorite! GO ahead click on it and make it a wee bit larger. If you do so you will see that the plaque was installed upside down. That has appealed to my very core so I have claimed this bench as my own. Every time I walk into the rose garden to take a seat I head for this bench and have a seat. To me this is the best way that any one was memorialized in the garden because it stood out.

Some of you may remember that I once had a bench in here dedicated to me from the Milwaukie Seniors. That can be seen by clicking here: Mike's Bench! Unfortunately Mary's bench has pushed me out of the garden but I am happy to say that I was not forgotten in the reorganization attempts. I have my very own little room dedicated to me as the photo below illustrates:

Yep and there you have it! Always the most popular bench in the house! I have people come into the park just to sit on my bench! My dedicated bench even has several repeat performances from the local construction crew! Flies also like to gravitate towards my new bench! Man, I never thought my bench would gain in popularity by moving it out of the garden! Maybe if you come and visit you can enjoy the many pleasures of my new and improved bench! You should only be so lucky!


Hope you enjoyed my return to memorial benches! OH AND WRITE A FREAKING COMMENT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE PEOPLE! This excludes Robert because he actually comments on a frequent basis so he can be choosy about when and where to add his comments.

The Class Kiss-Up

Yesterday was a very long day.... a very long day. Even before my first break I was looking at the clock saying why is the time creeping by? What have I done to deserve the longest day ever? Why are all these people mad at me? What is wrong with these people? I want to just go home! The break flew by as did my lunch and the second break but the rest of the day creeped by. I would be on a call for 5 minutes and I felt like it had went on for an hour. The calls were killing me. To make it worse my continuing education class was after work so I had no escape. I have to take continuing education classes to stay licensed to be an insurance person in Oregon. I had an hour from the time I got off work until the time my class started and I ran away. Some people suggested I work the extra hour and get overtime but I was barely managing my scheduled time. The other thing is even if I had I would not get overtime pay... they have us work 7.75 hour days so the first hour and 15 you only total 40 so why work another hour for regular pay when I felt like stabbing people? So I took off and I went to an art store and perused. Then I purchased a cup of coffee at a coffee shop and sat down to peruse a magazine and next thing I know it's time for the class. I headed back to work for a super long 3 hour class. I am going to tell you all a shocking secret, insurance is boring. It really is and although the instructor does her best to make it engaging it simply doesn't work. Knowing this I tend to draw a lot. I was working on my latest epic comic story when I ran out of paper and we were only 30 minutes in. About the same time as that a guy has hit everyone's radar as the class kiss up. He has a comment for everything the instructor says. She says "The.." and he would say "Yep, that's exactly the way it is." He had been in several of my previous classes and I already hated him as did everybody I know. I am not sure how the people I don't know felt about him before then but before the first hour was over I could tell everybody was on the same page, well maybe there is an exception of two minor kiss-ups who seem to think their comments mean something to their peers. What is it that drives someone to chime in every 15 seconds? I mean it's not like you make the class more fun with your stupid insights or your incredibly lame jokes. Who does that?

The main problem I was facing was that I was without a distraction which tends to get dangerous. So I start writing comments here and there to my co-worker and we slowly start having a covert conversation on paper. We talk about the "Commenter" and his lack of friends. We talk about things she says every time we are in a class, because she always teaches and her stories always end up in the same places. We finally got a much needed break and we bought soda to try and get the sugar and caffeine to help us get through the next hour.

In the second hour the things they are saying, because now the Commenter has turned the class into a conversation because every thought she expresses brings out a story from him and it is officially 'they' talking instead of her teaching. Anyway every stray word brings about another little conversation on our papers. I draw representations of the kiss-ups saying stupid things and my wolf and croc characters talking crap. We take apart every comment the Commenter makes. We also start taking words or phrases and running wild with them, at one point it almost causes my cohort to burst out laughing. We slow down for a bit and a second break is finally called.

When we come back we notice our paper talking has spread through the class and no one is listening. We are all writing hateful notes about the commenter and soon people are no longer even feigning interest if he speaks. It gets to the point that when he starts talking the room erupts into idle chat with neighbors. Except the two of us, we keep it on paper. We pretend to be listening even though we have no clue what is being said. Then another written comment about the word redlining almost gets both of us to laugh out loud again... I had to make a weak cover with a cough to make up for my less then quiet snicker. The Commenter continued to chime in as if he has no idea we all wish he would be violently flung from the earth and he might not have any idea. I start tallying every time he chimes in with a comment which adds up quickly. I give up after 15 minutes because the tally mark is ridiculously huge meanwhile my partner in crime is marking every time certain words are said and it is just getting silly. Finally our duty is done and the gates open and we are paroled from this prison. As we leave we make barbed comments about the guy hoping some will stick into his side like a prison shank. Some vow to never sign up for the night class because of him. Others talk of signing up for online courses. Either way no one wants to sit through that again. Even the nicest people reveal looks of hatred when he is mentioned. Maybe next time we will have prison style shanks that are fashioned from all the free knick knacks the company gives out to boost morale and we will leave the barbed comments unsaid and we will scatter leaving him slowly dying and no one will have seen anything....

Blossoms and Blue Sky Update

I added 8 pictures from my Goodwill camera. If you already looked go back and look again! I picked the best of the pictures, I was being choosy.
http://www.angelfire.com/droid/crazedlunatikdesigns/BlossomsandBlueSky/


Go to Blossoms And Blue Sky NOW!!

The Fall Out

You may have read my blogs on the Art Institute Online and seen my latest spat and the email I sent. Here is what happened after that email.

I received a call from my academic adviser so I call her back.

"Hi Michelle this is Michael Williams. I am returning your call."

Michelle: "Hi Michael, I received your email. You have to take math if you want to continue in your degree program it is part of the core requirements. Without it you can't submit a portfolio to be allowed into the program."

Me: "I am not taking math. I have already taken math courses that are steps beyond the ones you want me to take. I am not paying to take math from you guys."

Michelle: "The only class I see is Calculus and it doesn't have a grade."

Me: I am not talking about calculus, I am talking about trigonometry and college algebra. I took the last math class because at the time I was thinking there might be a work around for the future but I was out of time and I still wanted to be in school. This time I rejected the schedule you sent me but I was enrolled anyhow."

Michelle: "You have to take this math because you placed there."

Me: "No I didn't I never took a placement test because I sent my credits and the school decided to ignore them."

Michelle: "Oh yeah. You did not take the placement test so that is why you have to take this class."

Me: "I am not taking this class. Can you work another class in instead."

Michelle: "You have to take the class."

Me: "No I don't. I have already taken more then enough math to fulfill the requirements. I am not taking anymore math. It is not my fault you don't accept accredited collegiate transcripts."

Michelle: "I only see the calculus and that didn't transfer there is no grade."

Me: "I sent transcripts from four schools! Stop looking at NAU and look at Rio Salado Community College."

Michelle: "I see a Speech class and an English class."

Me: "That is Mesa Community look at Rio Salado's transcript."

Michelle: "I don't see it we must not have got it."

Me: "Hmmm... that is funny, all those emails I have sent and you just decide to look at my grade transcripts now? Andi was able to view those transcripts when I had this conversation with her last December. She was not able to tell me why they did not transfer but she could see the transcript. Why did she find them but you can't? Did they get lost or is someone lying to me? They were sent and they more then fulfill these core classes requirement nonesense."

Michelle: Blah blah blah problem...

Me: "The problem I am having here is that you and everyone else I talk to is more interested in pointing out how everything is my fault and not the schools instead of trying to fix an error. It doesn't matter who made it I am trying to get you to fix it, you and this school have the power and pretending you don't is just stupid. I have taken math before and I can do math circles around the math you want me to take but I should not have to take it because I already have fulfilled this requirement. Are you going to help me to at least put math off for now until I can get someone to help me out?"

Michelle: "Well you did not do a credit challenge."

Me: "I never knew I could until it was too late."

Michelle: "Well that was in the enrollment packet you should have known about it. It was in the enrollment package."

Me: "What enrollment package? I have no idea what you mean. I never got an enrollment package in the mail. I started school before my transcripts had arrived so how was I going to challenge anything?"

Michelle: "You got the enrollment package and it was in there."

Me: "The problem I am having right now has nothing to do with this. I want to take a different course then the one I am signed up for and I am looking for options. I feel like the class can be at least put off until I can figure how to get my prior courses accepted."

Michelle: "You have to complete the math and it is too late for the credit challenge. You have to take the class."

Me: "You know what.... no I don't. I am done with this conversation and I just want you to un-enroll me from this school."

Michelle: "I sent you an email link to a form you have to fill out and then I will process the paperwork."

Me: "Thanks and have an oh so lovely day."


The e-mail was sent 2 hours before I called her so it explains why she was a wee hostile. She never tried to work with me. I spend all day doing my best to work with people that "Never got a bill" and had their insurance lapse so I know everything can be worked around regardless of fault. I was trying to let them find a solution so that they could continue to take a ridiculous amount of money for crappy classes with no actual work on their part. I mean really I do all the reading by myself and I have to wait at least 12 hours for answers to my questions so I am doing it alone and the classes suck. The only thing the do is grade stuff all of the test are graded automatically so it is just the subjective busy work. I should start an online school...

New Photos

Hey all!
Two posts in one day???? Good lord I am crazy! Don't worry it won't be a new trend. I just wanted to let you know that I have a new photo set up it is called Blossoms and Blue Sky. It has several pictures with my new digital camera. The main focus is tree blossoms but I fit in a great shot of my new SLR camera (the Goodwill one) and a pretty funny sign I spied a while back. Some of the photos are pretty amazing so make sure you check it out.

http://www.angelfire.com/droid/crazedlunatikdesigns/BlossomsandBlueSky/

In other news the Goodwill camera works beautifully. I will share some examples with you later. I am waiting on a cd to be burned for me. the company I took it to had a problem with their burner and neglected to tell me but I can wait I was ecstatic to find out my camera works. I have the prints at home and some were pretty good. My main focus was on taking a roll of film and not really setting up a great shot but I managed a few good shots anyhow.

Don't forget to check out Blossoms and Blue Sky!

My Favorite Comic Strip

Pearls Before Swine is my favorite comic strip at the moment. It is drawn by Stephen Pastis. I am including my favorite of a recent series where pig (who is not an alcoholic) goes to an alcoholics retreat for a vacation and becomes Britney's best friend. Hopefully posting it won't get me in trouble!

Art Institute Online Sucks Rancid Bong Water

You may remember that I am enrolled in a little school known as Art Institute Online. For some odd reason Art Institute online will not accept my math courses I took at Rio Salado Community college and request I take super expensive courses from them. The funny thing is that same community college is where I took English 101 and that class was accepted. So it is not the college they object to. I have tried talking to people but they are all retarded monkey poo throwers. I took one class because there is a lot of money going to them from the government and I was not sure what to do. So in two semesters and 4 classes I have eaked out 1 artistic course. The rest have been stupid. The math class was Math 99..... I never bought a book and I got an A. This class is Math 100 and they sent me the schedule and asked me to approve it I declined the classes and when asked I told them I was not taking math from them ever. I was told "but you have to have math courses because you want to be in the degree program and in order to qualify to show your portfolio. In order to show your portfolio you have to have a foundation which includes math." I responded "No actually I don't. I could care less about showing them my portfolio and I could care less about the degree. I have taken math classes that are steps beyond the courses you ask me to take so I already qualify. Enroll me in another class and drop the math, I am not taking math from you" The response was a phone call that I was being unclear about what I wanted them to do. So I emailed saying fine unenroll me from this school and return the money already paid to you. The response this time was an email telling me that Math 100 begins on Monday. So even though I did not approve this schedule I got this schedule so I wrote up a nice little letter and thought I would share it.

Michelle,
It seems that denying my schedule means nothing to anyone over there so why does it ask if I just get stuck in the class anyway? I have taken math that supersedes this course. I took the classes in an accredited community college. Other accredited colleges have recognized my two math courses without a second glance. I am sorry that other accredited math courses do not match your system but I am not paying for another math class I did it once already against my will but this time it simply isn't happening. Withdraw me from the class. I already denied this schedule and I am sorry that you do not understand what I mean when I say that I am not taking another math class with you guys, that is not my problem. I have not been vague or indirect about this. Just in case you believe I am still being unclear let me put it out for you.

I am not taking Math 100. I have denied the schedule you made for me and suggested that if you wanted to keep me in school you could suggest other courses and maybe a non-degree related program because I believe strongly enough to drop out over having to take math classes that I have already taken before. I have no intention in showing up on Monday for the first day or any other day of the week for that matter. I am dropping this class. I would love to be switched to another class that has something artistic to teach. Otherwise return the money to the government. SO yes either get a new class for me or pull me out of your school. There it is.

Thank you,
Michael Williams
Email: crazedlunatik@gmail.com
Url: www.crazedlunatikdesigns.com

Wacky Wednesday

My dad drove down for a visit Tuesday night. He was able to get my car's breaks worked on and decided to take some time off and head up North to hang out on my day off. We had a nice time. We went to Old Chicago when he got into town so that we could grab a bite and a pint. Then headed home to catch some z's. The next morning we had breakfast at a local place called Sully's. It's a little pricey but there Hollandaise sauce for the eggs Benedict was fantastic. Then we headed to Barnes & Noble to read for a few hours. Then Maryjo called for us to head out to a lady's house that had an old horse that she was getting rid of. The horse looked like a horse, an old horse but a horse none the less. His name was Sid and he used to jump with the Lady's daughter in law competitively. She had outgrown the horse and the horse was just too old to keep doing the stuff so she wanted him to go to a good home. Maryjo desires to be that home.... I have a theory that she plans to start an old horse retirement home. Anyway Sid was friendly and let me touch him and he seemed nice enough. So who knows maybe Maryjo will have an old horse named Sid in the near future. After that mountain of excitement we headed back to my side of town and traded my dads old gift certificate from around 6 years ago in for a new one and then we shopped around and got a few things. My dad got a watch, some easter candy and a new steering wheel cover for my car.

Right about here the day seemed to be right for a beer and a cigar. We wandered over to Cascade Cigar and Tobacco and bought an Acid cigar called a Blondie. Then headed into their bar and had a beer and a smoke. It was a nice relaxing time. My dad and I were hungry at this point so we headed over to Buster's Barbecue and had a pretty good meal. Then we wandered around looking for shoes at Big 5. Although they had bargains the size he wears were always out and he has some weird desire to not get tennis shoes. I had a car load of stuff in my car all set to be given away so we went to Goodwill. I glanced in the window and saw a bunch of cool looking things so after giving a bunch of stuff away I went in to look for other stuff to take home. My goal was to get a nice storage unit for the kitchen. I need shelves because I have a big pantry and no shelves. I ended up finding a few cool things in there but nothing I really had to have. I wanted a Polaroid camera I saw being sold for 4 dollars enough to get it. As I headed to the front I saw a display case with decent cameras and other electronics that might walk away in someone's pocket a lot faster then a bulky Polaroid camera. I was looking at the case that had some cool stuff when I saw an old large case tucked behind a flat screen computer monitor. It turned out to be an old slr camera with 3 lens made by Mamiyo/Sekor for $40. I decided to buy it and I am absolutely buzzing about trying this thing out! I loaded film in it and I plan on taking this thing out this weekend to take some pictures. I will also use the digital camera my mom gave me (thanks mom) to take some pictures of the new camera. It takes film so it may be a week or so before I can get pictures made to show you. Who knows maybe they won't be worth showing. Of course I hope they are.

After that we headed to look at shoes at GI Joe's where my dad's tiny feet once again denied him the righteous feeling of bargain priced shoes. From there we headed to Barnes and Noble to read for a few more hours and for my dad to find books to buy with his other gift card. Then the night had to end... boo! I found myself at work today and wanting to go home and play with my new camera and my new guitar but instead In was at work making sure I didn't have to live in my car using my guitar case as a sleeping bag......

I can not Acknowledge or Deny that this is a Real Post

Sunday was a bad day for Oregon sports. The Blazers lost the Ducks lost. It was brutal. I only watched one game, the Ducks. Those darn gators! Anyway I was bumming around after the game, the sun broke through so every Oregonian ran outside for that time period. I had lunch at a Sushi place that had the little motorized track that whipped the dishes around and you grabbed what you wanted. Just in case you are wondering it is only slightly cheaper there, the dishes are less expensive but the rolls are usually smaller. Although a little bowl of edamame were just a buck so I had two. I had earlier spent an hour at the Guitar Center wandering around trying to convince myself not to get a guitar, an hour later I was at home.... I neither deny or acknowledge that I have a Fender acoustic guitar sitting in my living room. I also can not deny or acknowledge that my fingers hurt from constantly playing said guitar these last to days. In fact, I can not deny or acknowledge that I am now thinking about not going to bed and just playing said guitar all night. If said guitar were in my living room and my said fingertips were indeed a touch tender, I may want to not play said guitar all night and allow my fingers to rest until tomorrow when I can spend another couple hours playing guitar, only to realize that I missed all my TV shows without even caring. Of course I neither deny or acknowledge any part of this last paragraph.....

In other news I may or may not have watched Jackass 2. I may or may not have found it incredibly funny and horrible to watch all at the same time. I may or may not be a fan of both movies and I may or may not have never actually watched the TV show but really loved the over the top movies even with all the naked male buttocks. I can not deny or acknowledge that some of the stunts with the bull caused me to laugh so hard I was coughing and thought I was going to hurl like the Jackass guys may or may not have been doing at the time. I may or may not have almost cried with laughter during the terrorist taxi bit. I may or may not have completely enjoyed when Johnny Knoxville nearly had a major accident while trying to ride a really huge red rocket. I may or may not have had to get up a few times while extremely gross stuff happened and walk to the other room until the part was over. I may or may not recommend this to people that liked the original.

Of course this may or may not have ever been posted.

The Rambling Review of Rocky Balboa

Hey all! So it seems no one cared to comment on my evil rip on Phoenix. Oh well. This week has been a crazy one. I am done with my Perspective class (and it kicked my tail), I have been watching a lot of basketball (Are you Mad about basketball in March?), I drank my share of beer last night while the Oregon Ducks won against UNLV and I recently got a chance to watch Rocky Balboa. There was a lot of cheap shots taken at this movie and after the last one how could you not take a cheap shot. I think everyone expected this movie to suck and some people even still refuse to see it because they fear another blow might be dealt to this sacred boxing saga. I had meant to see it in the theaters but just like every other movie this year I missed my window. I don't see many movies at theaters these days. I hate having to take a loan out on my car to be able to afford a ticket and then to have the chance that all my money was wasted. I want to let you know that the money would not have been wasted on this movie. Simply put it was fantastic.


I think this is almost as good as the original movie. It had a lot of heart and it was a good story. Old boxers always come back for one last fight so it really isn't all that amazing that ol' Rock would. What I loved was that this movie addressed the age issue head on. Rocky is old, widowed and hanging on his old memories. He is living in the past going through the motions. He owns a restaurant named after his deceased love and he walks through the restaurant telling old stories of his glory days. During a ritual of mourning Rock runs into a woman who he had met a long time ago. This seems to be the spark he needs. He befriends her and her son and he seems to have re-discovered a reason to pursue his dreams from this contact. What Rocky realizes is that he has another fight in him. He reapplies for a license to box around the same time ESPN plays a fantasy fight simulation of Rocky vs. the current champ Mason Dixon. Low and behold the computer predicts Rocky the winner. So the jack a--es that run Mason Dixon's career decide to capitalize on it. They set up an exhibition with the aged Rock and Mason "the Line" Dixon. The champ naturally underestimates this guy because who wouldn't. He is ancient and looks like he can barely move but he still is a 217 pound muscular scrapper and you should never take your eye off those types. The training montage starts and I was sitting on the edge of my seat. I love the training montage, if real life training only could be half that successful... The fight was fantastic and typical Rocky style wear he blocks every punch strategically with his face, which apparently is a good technique. You have to watch the movie to get the fight conclusion I am not giving it away.

The fight was done like it was something you were watching on pay per view which was a nice touch of realism. It was fantastically shot and you can't help but cheer for the man. I loved the side plot with the woman and her son. It was interesting, it seemed they both needed a friend and that they were able to heal each other. I really didn't care much for Rocky's kid. You know the guy that is also on the show Heroes. I just hated that he was such a punk but he comes around of course. The scene wear Robert (the son) confronts his dad is fantastic. He blames his dad and Rock gives this speech that was so awesome I was cheering. It saved that part of the story for me. Rocky's pal, Paulie, has a smaller roll in this one which was nice. The focus was really on Rocky and how he was dealing with getting older and a life without his wife. He doesn't really let the Champs verbal jabs get at him and he doesn't rise to the barbed questions the reporters fling at him. He is doing this because he wants to and knows he can and I liked it. Overall this movie was amazingly well done and it is one you need to rent and take home. You may sign up for a boxing trainer after seeing it because it is that good.

Phoenix....

I have to admit something about my last trip to Phoenix. I used to always feel like I was home when I would get there and things made sense to me when I was there. This time I kept wishing I was at home (Portland) and everyone was visiting me. I was having bad allergy symptoms and spent most of the week using tissues. I didn't let it slow me down any but I wanted to just curl up in a ball and hide. I felt lousy the whole time I was there. The air was nasty and the pollen was through the roof and it was too hot all the time. I was absolutely dying to get back to my cloud covered sky and the cooler days if I could just stop sneezing. I think if the Devil had offered I might have left Phoenix without a soul just to take my sinus trouble away. Yeah it would have been traded that cheaply, heck a movie fella once gave his soul to learn to pick at a guitar. I would never be bothered by my sinuses again!

So I hated Phoenix but I absolutely loved seeing all of you. Do me a favor and move to a better town. How come I can't visit you guys in Aruba, Ireland, Greece, San Francisco, Belgium, Denver, San Diego, Fiji or anywhere that doesn't get up to 120 degrees in the summer? You can't honestly expect me to believe that all of you love Phoenix, because all I have to say is stop lying to yourself. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

Vacations are hard Work

I am home again and I can't tell you how nice it was to just sit about today and not run around to 4 or 5 different places. I had taken today off as a way to recover from the trip and I am glad I did. I could not keep my eyes open yesterday nor today. I caught up on all that sleep I lost over the last 7 days. Tomorrow I am back at work answering people's silly questions and playing nice with the upset batch. I figure I owe you all a quick rundown of what took place the past week.

Last Sunday I flew in to Phoenix around 2:30 PM. I got off the plane and my sinuses started acting up and I would go through hundreds of tissues over the next week and even now as I sit here typing this. I headed back to my mom's abode where after hanging my clothes I was toured around the house to view the new paint. I really liked the main rooms brown color and the office's blue color. I did not care as much for the lilac color of the bedroom and bathrooms but it was still nice. The first thing I have to tell you is that it was hot. Too dang hot, the room I have when I stay there did not cool down until around midnight. The room is nice in the early morning though, so the goal is to hang out until after midnight and get up before 9 AM. Which honestly was not much of a problem. Anyway after the tour we headed to Macayo's and met Maryann and Glenn for dinner. I had a crazy monkey drink that came with a coconut carved to look like a monkey. He is at home with me sitting next to my Tiki guys. That night I was in bed by 9 PM because Maryann and Glenn don't party and my mom is more of a 4 AM riser then a 4 AM crasher. This was when I found out the room was not habitable for me before midnight. I was tossing and turning and around 11 PM I called it quits and moved inside the house to a couch.

Monday. My mom and I went for a short hike at South Mountain, Then ran some errands, met Maryann for Indian food for lunch, and went to see a movie. We saw Breach which was better then I had expected it to be. Then I was headed off to Kevin's where we had big Burgers and lots of beer.

Tuesday. I hung out with my mom, Jason, and Katie all day. We started the day by going scootering at Tempe Town Lake. Then we went and picked up my brother and the kids pop, John and we headed back to Macayo's where I had a margarita instead of a cool monkey drink. Then we went bowling. I finished 1st on the first game and last on the second game. It was a good time. Then we rented movies and watched them until John and his friend Brian showed up. We had dinner, a few beers and a few girl scout cookies. Then Everyone left and I watched TV for a few hours.

Wednesday. I met up with Pete and headed to the driving range and we went through a bucket of balls. Neither of us looked very good so thank us now for not tearing up the golf course and causing 12 hour delays on tee times. Then we headed to AJ's and had a cup of coffee and caught up on the news of the day and the impending basketball tournament. Once we were finished with the coffee we headed to C-Fu for dim sum which was good and then ran to target and bought a few things, including a sweet Borat shirt. I was a little tired that night so I stayed close to home.

Thursday. My mom and I got up a wee bit earlier and went hiking with Becky. Then we came back and chopped things for the party on Saturday. We cruised over to pick John and Brian up and then headed to Chipotle for lunch. We wanted to go to the art museum that day but we really did not have time to drive downtown at 2:30 and be back by 5:30. We would not have enough time to get around the art museum and then we would have to fight traffic to make it back across town to RA for Sushi and Saki. So we went to price club and bought items for the party on Saturday and then we headed to the book store to kill some time. We ended up picking up John and Brian from their work because the car they had brought had not been worked on during the day and had just barely went into the shop. So we then headed back to RA got a table and ordered some drinks. My brother and Brian went for a Bud Light and my Mother went for Saki and I went for the Saki Bomber. Maryann arrived and we ordered food. Then Kevin, Becky her brother Tony and the new baby Mercedes all arrived and more drinks and food was ordered. My mom got good and schnockered with like 5 and a 1/2 saki's (it wasn't 6 because she and my brother knocked the second one over while rearranging for the food) and went home with John and Brian's help. Maryann headed home and Kevin, Tony, Becky, Mercedes and I headed to BevMo and purchased a ridiculous amount of alcohol and when we got to Kevin's house we proceeded to put a huge dent into it. Kevin and I ended up drinking until 4 AM and the next morning it took a bit to get our sorry carcasses moving.

Friday. I start the day off watching Looney Tunes. Then Kevin gets up and I realize what time it is and start hurrying him a bit. We head out the door and across the reservation back to civilization and meet up with Pete for a Spring Training game. It was the Angels and the Brewers and I believe the Brewers won. I was distracted by every girl that walked by so sue me, plus it was Spring Training so the game doesn't matter. We had a good time. Kevin and I had a hot dog and a beer. Which cost 12.50 keep in mind the tickets were only 13.00. I was still a wee bit hungry so I had nachos and a soda since it was bloody hot outside. When the game ended it took us almost an hour to get out of there. When I got to my mom's house the three of us split up and I headed to the shower. I was due across town in about an hour. My mom had went to run an errand about the same time I was turning on the hot water and when I got out Becky showed me the truck's tire that had suffered a huge blow out earlier that day. When my mom came back I headed out the door to Doug and Amber's place where we had a nice night and I headed home and went to bed early.

Saturday. The next day I was up and helping my mom get ready for the party and then Pete came and whisked me off to meet with Bob R. at Dim Sum. It was a good time once again. Then I headed home and ran around with my mom trying to find 20 oz clear disposable cups for beer. Finally I convinced her to settle on the 16 oz. cups. I was dragging a little my allergies were flaring up big time and I was exhausted. When the party started I kicked into the other gear and with a few black and tan's I was ready to go. The night was fun, the run out was good and Maryann, John, Arlinda and I stayed up gabbing until late and finally called it a night. Maryann stayed over for the night. Which was a good idea, the wine was not so kind to her.

Sunday. I was up and itching to go home. The allergy medicine stopped helping the day before and I was exhausted. I sat around talking with Maryann and my mom until it was airport time. Then I was able to read and wait for the plane to arrive and whisk me away. I went home and crashed.

Monday. I watched some movies that had been piled up in the mail from Netflix and spent the rest of the day sleeping. Now I am getting ready for my return to work. BOO!

The Official Nominees

It is going to be one heck of a race! There are a lot of good candidates in all these sections and the judges will have their hands full..... or maybe not. Either way everyone must wait until the end of the month for the official Repetitive Task Awards Winner announcement. If you sent me anything about the contest you may already be a winner, please get your acceptance speeches ready. Let's put it this way the list I posted recently are the people that need speeches. I am working on the design for the prize which is why you have to wait until the end of the month.

REMEMBER YOUR SPEECHES PEOPLE!

Phoenix-a-palooza

Hello everyone. I wanted to remind you that not only is the nomination deadline pending but I am also headed to Phoenix this Sunday. That's right you have read my blog for months now and finally I am coming to your city! Line up Phoenicians' because here I come! I am in town March 11th - March 18th and you can be a part of my whirlwind tour simply by emailing or calling. So get out your dollar bills because I like working for tips! Wait... no! No working but tips are nice! Woo-yeah let's all go do Jello shots and Saki bombers because I feel like yakking in a bush!

Disclaimer: Tips do not guarantee a fun time will be had. Saki bombers and Jello shots are not endorsed by the Blogger community nor is yakking in a bush. Any harm caused to you or your shrubbery are no fault of Mr. Williams, Crazed Lunatik Designs or this blog. No connection can be made to this trip, and any shenanigans inherent within, and the upcoming awards show. Although Mr. Williams is a huge sponsor of the Repetitive Task Awards and some may even claim he created them it in noway implies that the show will pay for any shrubbery damaged during Mr. Williams week long trip to Phoenix. All shrubbery defilement is at the risk of any shrubbery maintenance crew and the purveyor of said shrubbery.

The Repetitive Tasks Awards So Far

Well we seem to be at a standstill with the television stations, they just don't seem interested. I was even turned down by the local public access television, apparently you have to pay them to get on the air. The companies I have contacted about sponsoring my show always put my name on the spam block list and last week I spent a night with Agent Smith who did not like me trying to buck the award show system. I had the weirdest dream that he implanted a mechanical bug into my body to monitor my movements..... and my mouth disappeared so I couldn't scream. Weird, eh? A few nights later my computer told me to follow the white rabbit and a knock came at the door and a little white rabbit entered carrying a bottle of absinthe and the next thing I knew I was curled up in a ball with other rabbits around in a little burrow. I have no idea how rabbits stay so clean.... I was completely muddy. In the meantime I did get a few more nominations for a few award categories, so here is how they stand at the moment.


Paying Your Bills Award
Dale W

Bad Music Lover Award
Glenn S

The Night Snorer Award
Maryann S

Daily Showering Award
Pete S

Deleting Spam Emails Award
Pat G (she even has to delete Spam emails at work)

Phone Call Transfer Award
Crystal H (She spent most of a day transferring incoming calls to other departments)

The deadline to enter is this Friday! You will get an award for winning and you will have your acceptance speech published. You will be almost famous! Enter today!

The Jeannie Tate Show

THis is a great talk show you have to check it out. My favorite part is when she hits the radio to get a "crowd" reaction.

Don't forget about the upcoming award show nominees. A week from today.

The Repetitive Task Awards Update

So far I have a total of four nominees and three of those made their own categories. Here are the categories as they stand.

Paying Your Bills Award
Dale W

Bad Music Lover Award
Glenn S

The Night Snorer Award
Maryann S

Daily Showering Award
Pete S

Categories I had suggested are:
Chewing Your Food Thoroughly Award
Opening Your Mail Award
Going To Work Award
Answering The Phone Award
Deleting Spam Emails Award
Best Excuse Used To Not Be At Work Award

These awards are still open but if you have a better one just let me know and I will bump things a bit. I am capping the awards to ten total categories so right now only 4 are set and there are six more available. A category needs one nominee to be real but the next six new award nominees will be the ones to set the categories. Don't forget you can nominate yourself for the four categories already with one nomination. You do not have to make a new one up. The final nominees will be announced March 9th and the contest will be held a month after that so I can make the final decision. Or figure out the awards... whichever you want to believe.

I want to let all nominees now that I expect you to be ready with an acceptance speech in case you end up winning.

A New Award Show

Hey all I am in here procrastinating on a perspective drawing due tomorrow but this blog has been neglected way too long. I have had an idea boiling about in my head for a while. I may have talked to you about it if you dared to broach the subject of the multiple award shows where actors and musicians get an award for doing what they are paid to do. I am not fond of this practice, I think it is ridiculous that these people get paid a lot of money to play pretend and then they award themselves for doing what they should do. It is ridiculous that people would have the audacity to organize an event to pat themselves on the back. I hate awards, I am not really enthused about getting them at work for being nice to customers because that is what I am paid to do but it is something the company does for morale. I like the 15 minutes off the phone. However, I do not get to be on television and give an acceptance speech where I thank God 250 times and everyone I ever met:
"I would like to thank God for letting me wake up feeling positive in the morning. I also want to thank my parents because without that special night I wouldn't be here. I would like to thank the Lord for watching out for me. A big thanks goes out to the Starbucks guy that convinced me to make my drink a triple shot latte, the Baby Jesus that showed up to wash away all the sins, and the grocery checkout lady who did a price check on an item I thought was 20 cents less then the register rang it up for. I want to give a shout out to God, because without him I would stab pizza delivery men and most of all I want to give another shout out for the baby Jesus" Music starts to play. "Oh no! Don't start the music yet you big ol' baton waving goon, I am not done. Oh Lord help me not kill the man with the little stick. Please Baby Jesus take that Oboe player in the third row. God don't hate the orchestra because they done your follower wrong. I am going to finis my thank you's!" Crowd cheers, orchestra gets louder. "Alright I can talk loud too! I want to thank my manager Jojo the circus monkey, without him all my talent would be wasted. I want to thank the guy that sat in the cubicle next to me that gave me a croissant last week. And most of all I gotta give it up to God, my Lord and the Baby Jesus!"

Another thing I hate is they get all kinds of free things for being rich and famous. Why do they get free stuff I have to pay for? They can afford it!! Oh and don't get me started on the fact that designers create dresses for the super famous wealthy people and they don't have to buy the dang thing they get to wear it for free! It is a bunch of crap! So I am fighting back I have decided to start the REPETITIVE TASKS AWARDS. I have selected a few categories already. They are as follows:

Chewing Your Food Thoroughly Award
Opening Your Mail Award
Going To Work Award
Answering The Phone Award
Paying Bills Award
Deleting Spam Emails Award

And my personal Favorite:
Best Excuse Used To Not Be At Work Award

I have yet to find sponsors so if you want to sponsor the event I am more then willing to put your logo anywhere. Even if you are A little blue pill company or a prophylactic company. If you think that is random place the company names along with the Award show name and you will get the humor, maybe. I am working on a proper statue or something to give the winners. I am also looking for TV airtime so if you are a TV company and have space to fill this is your Awards show! If we do get on the air I need a host. I could also use some judges and just to let you know bribing judges is an acceptable practice for this series of awards, in fact it's encouraged. If you think I need to add a category let me know.

Most importantly if you know someone or are someone who would be a great candidate for an award please submit your name to me. I hope to announce the nominees by next Friday aka, March 9th.