Joshua awoke at a random rest stop along the I-5 corridor. He had fallen asleep in the passenger seat with the seat cranked as flat as possible. Resulting in a better rest then he had the day before in this same car. There was no crick in his neck this time, although he was a little stiff and needed to stretch. Of course he would need to use the restroom before he hit the road and would get the chance to stretch then. He grabbed his overnight bag, he wanted to brush his teeth and freshen up a bit. The sun was just barely coming up over the mountains and it was that light that had awoke him. He stretched as he exited the car, it felt good to stretch.
After he washed his hands and while he was brushing his teeth, Joshua reviewed the last 24 hours. This time yesterday he had been headed to his job. Then he had went on the crying jag, which was because he finally accepted the fact that his wife was missing and had been gone for a year. When he had been able to drive again, he went home and packed clothes, toiletries and all the food in his house that required no cooking or refrigeration. He loaded all this stuff into his car before heading over to the nosy elderly couple next door. When Sarah had went missing Bob and Ellie had been over every day with casseroles or cakes. They were full of good will and even better intentions but they definitely overstepped a lot of bounds. He had found them infuriating before Sarah had disappeared but had learned to accept them and their quirks after. They wouldn't leave him alone, no matter what he said to them, and he had said some nasty things to a lot of people right after Sarah had went missing. One day when he felt the urge to throw them out of his house he realized they were just being good neighbors and Joshua had to stop fighting with them. His visit to them was so they he was going to New Mexico, to pursue all the leads he ever heard about the case. He explained he needed to know what really happened to Sarah so he could start to take the steps necessary to rebuild his life without her. Bob had patted him on the back and told him things like "Finally! I've been telling you to do just that!" (even though he hadn't) and "You go down and you crack some heads if you need too!" To which Ellie said "Bob! Joshua is not a violent man and he does not need you telling him to be violent!" After that died down they promised to watch the house for him. Ellie assured him that she would handle Sarah's plants as well, Joshua had smiled and thanked her. He had not realized there were any plants left around his house but on his way to the car he saw his lawn was well maintained, through no action of his own. Bob and Ellie were definitely caring people.
He waved goodbye to them as he drove off. They were waving at him long past the point were he could still see them but he had seen them do it to other people before, it was just their thing. He hit the freeway and had put a few hours down before he called his office. He was patched through to the owner, it was a small office. The owner had been after him to take time off after Sarah disappeared and he responded well to the news that Joshua was doing just that. Joshua neglected to tell him where he was going and what he was planning to do. His boss might not think it was such a good idea and try to talk him out of it. He was not in the mood for that. The owner told him to take as much time as he needed and that they would still have a job for him when he got back. He had thanked the boss and had meant it. Even though he was not sure he would ever have enough time to heal. He also was not sure he ever wanted to go back but he shut his mouth and played the game.
He had driven for several hours after that, stopping only for fuel and a drop in at In-n-Out Burgers, his favorite chain burger joint. When his eyelids had become heavy he pulled into a rest stop, grabbed a blanket and had made himself comfortable in the passenger seat.
Joshua shook the water from his toothbrush before putting it away. He splashed water on his face and applied a new smear of deodorant. He looked in the mirror, the first time in a year and was startled by how old he looked. He was kind of grey looking too. No wonder people kept asking him how he was doing. He ran his hand across the stubble on his chin before heading to the vending machines outside. He needed a cup of coffee before he hit the road. His next stop would be around Bakersfield or perhaps a little further East. He had chose to drive this route because he planned to stop in Flagstaff, AZ on his way to New Mexico. He had a friend he needed to see, some one he hoped would help. If nothing else he could spend a night or two there, and pick that same friends brain a little. That friend had introduced Sarah and Joshua back in there collegiate days. He had been a man of many connections and new a lot of people all over the place. Joshua was hoping some of those connections might tap into Santa Fe.... his destination. He sent a text message alerting his friend that he would be there in a day or two. With that complete and armed with the coffee and a Nutrigrain bar he headed back to the highway and applied his foot to the gas pedal.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
The Guest Room Pt. 3 - A Short Story
This is the third part of the story.... hence the words Pt. 3 in the title of this post. If you need the hook up on the first part click here: http://crazedlunatikdesigns.blogspot.com/2009/02/guest-room-pt-1-short-story.html
If you read the first part but need to read the second part, then click here: http://crazedlunatikdesigns.blogspot.com/2009/02/guest-room-pt-2-short-story.html
Joshua felt a bone aching sadness sweep over him and was having a hard time seeing through the tears that continued to fall. He was crying so hard that he couldn't even breathe. It had been a long time since he had felt anything. The last time he had felt anything it had been shock, that was a year ago, when she had disappeared unexpectedly. He never allowed himself to cry about it until it snuck up on him today. When the shock, from her loss, had worn away, he had felt numb all over and the numbness had kept him insolated. Insolated from the pain of his missing wife, pain from a system that failed him and the realization that he was powerless to change any of it.
He realized that he needed to stop driving 60 miles an hour and get some place he could stop. He began merging to the right so he could get off the freeway. He was in between the suburb he lived in and the ciy he worked at, the exit he took was surrounded by farm land. He pulled into an old gas station lot just left of the off ramp, a station that had been sitting vacant for years. The cement was cracked and looked more like a puzzle needing to be put back together. In the asphalt's numerus cracks grass had sprung up. Rust ate away at every metal object. Nature was slowly reclaiming this forgotten spot, it looked like a set to an after armageddon movie. Where the world had ended and without human maintenance the buildings and roads began to fall into decay. The windows of the station had been boarded up and graffiti and flyers covered the building. He turned off his car and let his grief wash over him.
After a long period of crying, exhaustion crept in and he found his eyes closing... sleep enveloped him. The tortured sleep he usually experienced did not nag at him this time. Instead he felt and saw only blackness, his sleep was devoid of dreams and he fell deeper in.
---------------------------------
He awoke with an aching crick in his neck from the odd angle he had slept in. He massaged his neck while his brain began piecing things back together for him. He realized he needed to call his job at some point and tell them why he hadn't made it in... or at least to make an excuse. He knew that was a call he should make immediately but he did not bother to grab his mobile phone. He had no desire to call them at the moment. He barely felt like moving. He stared at the boarded up gas station in front of him. Studying the old posters for upcoming rodeos and monster truck shows. He wondered why anyone would plaster fliers here, a place no one had any need to go to any more. Except for today, he needed a place to have his breakdown. A place where no one would knock on his window concerned for his welfare or to tell him to keep moving. This had been kismet.
He felt the urge get out of the car and move around. It would help to awaken his joints and also allow him to stretch. He had been in a strange position for a few hours judging by how high the sun was in the sky. He resisted the urge to look at his phone. He was not ready to get back to the world he had been hiding in. For the first time in a while Joshua felt awake. He knew what had to be done and in what order. The thing farthest down on the list was checking in with work and knowing what time it was. That world no longer existed. He had things to settle and scores to even. Of course the first thing on his list was to relieve his bladder. When that was taken care of he could take the next step.... driving to New Mexico. The last spot anyone had ever seen Sarah.
If you read the first part but need to read the second part, then click here: http://crazedlunatikdesigns.blogspot.com/2009/02/guest-room-pt-2-short-story.html
Joshua felt a bone aching sadness sweep over him and was having a hard time seeing through the tears that continued to fall. He was crying so hard that he couldn't even breathe. It had been a long time since he had felt anything. The last time he had felt anything it had been shock, that was a year ago, when she had disappeared unexpectedly. He never allowed himself to cry about it until it snuck up on him today. When the shock, from her loss, had worn away, he had felt numb all over and the numbness had kept him insolated. Insolated from the pain of his missing wife, pain from a system that failed him and the realization that he was powerless to change any of it.
He realized that he needed to stop driving 60 miles an hour and get some place he could stop. He began merging to the right so he could get off the freeway. He was in between the suburb he lived in and the ciy he worked at, the exit he took was surrounded by farm land. He pulled into an old gas station lot just left of the off ramp, a station that had been sitting vacant for years. The cement was cracked and looked more like a puzzle needing to be put back together. In the asphalt's numerus cracks grass had sprung up. Rust ate away at every metal object. Nature was slowly reclaiming this forgotten spot, it looked like a set to an after armageddon movie. Where the world had ended and without human maintenance the buildings and roads began to fall into decay. The windows of the station had been boarded up and graffiti and flyers covered the building. He turned off his car and let his grief wash over him.
After a long period of crying, exhaustion crept in and he found his eyes closing... sleep enveloped him. The tortured sleep he usually experienced did not nag at him this time. Instead he felt and saw only blackness, his sleep was devoid of dreams and he fell deeper in.
---------------------------------
He awoke with an aching crick in his neck from the odd angle he had slept in. He massaged his neck while his brain began piecing things back together for him. He realized he needed to call his job at some point and tell them why he hadn't made it in... or at least to make an excuse. He knew that was a call he should make immediately but he did not bother to grab his mobile phone. He had no desire to call them at the moment. He barely felt like moving. He stared at the boarded up gas station in front of him. Studying the old posters for upcoming rodeos and monster truck shows. He wondered why anyone would plaster fliers here, a place no one had any need to go to any more. Except for today, he needed a place to have his breakdown. A place where no one would knock on his window concerned for his welfare or to tell him to keep moving. This had been kismet.
He felt the urge get out of the car and move around. It would help to awaken his joints and also allow him to stretch. He had been in a strange position for a few hours judging by how high the sun was in the sky. He resisted the urge to look at his phone. He was not ready to get back to the world he had been hiding in. For the first time in a while Joshua felt awake. He knew what had to be done and in what order. The thing farthest down on the list was checking in with work and knowing what time it was. That world no longer existed. He had things to settle and scores to even. Of course the first thing on his list was to relieve his bladder. When that was taken care of he could take the next step.... driving to New Mexico. The last spot anyone had ever seen Sarah.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The Guest Room Pt. 2 - a short story
*****This is the 2nd part of a story, reading these sections in order is advised. Take me to the first part of the story!******
In what seemed to be only a moment later, the alarm jarred him uncermoniously back to consciousness. He was still exhausted but he had obligations. With a deep, heavy, soul bearing sigh, Joshua got up from the bed. It was still dark outside, daylight savings time... he sighed again. He shuffled in his house slippers to the coffee pot and started measuring the ingredients. Several heaping coffee grounds scoops into it he realized he had no clue how many were actually in the machine. He had been too tired to count. His coffee would either peel the paint off the walls or be nicely heated brown water. Either way he needed to get in the shower as his time was rapidly being sucked away.
The warm water flowing over him was not helping him wake up but it was warming him up. The shower felt good this morning, soothing somehow. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall as the water fell on him. He saw her face again... and his eyes shot open. He turned off the water and stepped out to towel off. He had already decided to skip shaving today, his employer would have to deal with the scruff. He dressed in the mirror fogged bathroom, never bothering to check his appearance or even glance in the mirror's direction. He knew what he looked like, a zombie, and a hair style or a shave would not change that.
He poured the coffee into the commuter cup, grabbed the work he had brought home to fill his night with and headed out to his car. Traffic was always a nightmare when he headed to work. He used to listen to books on tape and had even been trying to learn Japanese for a trip he and Sarah had planned for Japan. He no longer bothered with that stuff, he didn't even listen to the radio. Instead, he sat in the car for almost an hour listening to the sounds his car made, secretly hoping that the sounds were actually a bigger problem that could keep him from work. In his haze of bad thoughts and pointless dreams he suddenly remembered it had been a year ago today. Sarah had disappeared unexpectedly one year ago today. The tears finally began to fall, she was really gone.
In what seemed to be only a moment later, the alarm jarred him uncermoniously back to consciousness. He was still exhausted but he had obligations. With a deep, heavy, soul bearing sigh, Joshua got up from the bed. It was still dark outside, daylight savings time... he sighed again. He shuffled in his house slippers to the coffee pot and started measuring the ingredients. Several heaping coffee grounds scoops into it he realized he had no clue how many were actually in the machine. He had been too tired to count. His coffee would either peel the paint off the walls or be nicely heated brown water. Either way he needed to get in the shower as his time was rapidly being sucked away.
The warm water flowing over him was not helping him wake up but it was warming him up. The shower felt good this morning, soothing somehow. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall as the water fell on him. He saw her face again... and his eyes shot open. He turned off the water and stepped out to towel off. He had already decided to skip shaving today, his employer would have to deal with the scruff. He dressed in the mirror fogged bathroom, never bothering to check his appearance or even glance in the mirror's direction. He knew what he looked like, a zombie, and a hair style or a shave would not change that.
He poured the coffee into the commuter cup, grabbed the work he had brought home to fill his night with and headed out to his car. Traffic was always a nightmare when he headed to work. He used to listen to books on tape and had even been trying to learn Japanese for a trip he and Sarah had planned for Japan. He no longer bothered with that stuff, he didn't even listen to the radio. Instead, he sat in the car for almost an hour listening to the sounds his car made, secretly hoping that the sounds were actually a bigger problem that could keep him from work. In his haze of bad thoughts and pointless dreams he suddenly remembered it had been a year ago today. Sarah had disappeared unexpectedly one year ago today. The tears finally began to fall, she was really gone.
Monday, February 16, 2009
The Guest Room Pt. 1 - a short story
It was going to be one of those nights, Joshua could tell already. The weariness he felt in his entire being was crying out for him to lay down and call it a day. Of course the minute he did his mind woke up. Joshua was taking his friend's advice and was determined to lay there, in his bed, and focus all his energy on staring at one stable spot. Supposedly by distracting his mind from all the worries and thoughts racing through his head he would be able to nod off into dreamland. It was not working yet. He was not looking at the clock, so he was not sure how long he had been staring at the broken slat on his window blinds, but it felt like a long time. It was long enough for him to remember the day the slat broke. He and Sarah had moved into this two bedroom house together. It was their first big purchase as a married couple and they were proud of it. It did not matter that it now took 45 minutes to get to work when their apartment had been only ten minutes away. It was their home and that was a very big deal. They had moved in a month before the slat got broke and the room had been sitting bare with only the blinds covering the window. With their most recent paycheck they went out to buy furniture for the room. It was designated the guest room and because of that they needed a bed. They bought a full sized bed on sale but Joshua had still felt a little ripped off by the whole process. Why were mattresses so expensive anyway? Joshua had ranted the whole way home about mattresses being the equivalent of highway robbery and Sarah had repressed her giggles. For some odd reason, watching Joshua get bent out of shape about silly things that were out of his control made Sarah giggle. That giggle of hers was how they first met and started dating. She was working at a juice bar inside the gym Joshua worked out at and had been for weeks. He loved getting a juice drink at the end of a good work out but hated the prices, usually he kept his thoughts to himself. He would just ordered from the cute girl behind the counter and leave. That day was a little different. He went up to order an strawberry orange energy booster smoothie when he noticed a new item, wheat grass. Before he knew it he had started complaining about the price of wheat grass shots and how he couldn't understand how eating lawn clippings could cost so much. He was in full tirade mode when she started laughing. He had never had that reaction before and was a little embarrassed but he figured the worst was already past, so he asked her out. He had loved her the minute he first heard her laugh at him for being retarded. She was a cute girl but that laugh was what drove him to ask her out. Within a year they were married and within 2 they were buying a house.
They had manhandled the box springs out of the truck that he had borrowed from his father and walked it inside the house. Everything was going swimmingly when he tripped while walking into the room backwards. He fell right into the window but managed not to break it. Unfortunately the blinds had not been fully installed yet (his fault) and they came crashing down on his head. Needless to say it hurt and he was upset, so he took the blinds and threw them to the ground. When he calmed down, he picked it all back up but several of the slats were bent and one was broken. After his irritation and anger was over he and Sarah had laughed about the blind incident. So the broken blind was a good memory for him and he couldn't help but smile as he laid there. Unfortunately this memory was multiplying and other thoughts began springing up in his head. He was lost in remembrance and he had to tear his eyes away. He refocused on the wall closest to him. There was a weird pattern in the wall texture and he sat there making shapes out of it until his lids grew heavy and finally closed.
They had manhandled the box springs out of the truck that he had borrowed from his father and walked it inside the house. Everything was going swimmingly when he tripped while walking into the room backwards. He fell right into the window but managed not to break it. Unfortunately the blinds had not been fully installed yet (his fault) and they came crashing down on his head. Needless to say it hurt and he was upset, so he took the blinds and threw them to the ground. When he calmed down, he picked it all back up but several of the slats were bent and one was broken. After his irritation and anger was over he and Sarah had laughed about the blind incident. So the broken blind was a good memory for him and he couldn't help but smile as he laid there. Unfortunately this memory was multiplying and other thoughts began springing up in his head. He was lost in remembrance and he had to tear his eyes away. He refocused on the wall closest to him. There was a weird pattern in the wall texture and he sat there making shapes out of it until his lids grew heavy and finally closed.
My TV converter and a Rambling Review of Friday the 13th
Well it was a slow weekend for me. I spent most of Valentine's day watching TV and doing homework. Today I decided I was going to go out and do something.... and before I knew it, it was 9 PM. I am not sure how that happens but it happens a lot when I have no plans and nothing to do. I decided around 6 PM that I would see a movie tonight. Now that it was 9 PM I realized I needed to get going. I had a quick errand to run before I spent time staring at a movie screen. I had to return some movies to Hollywood Video that were rented while Maryann was here. Which meant they were at least a day late and I did not need them to get any later. Hollywood Video is right next to the grocery store and I wanted to get some Valentine's candy on sale, I love discounted holiday candy. On the way in to the store I saw a sale on the digital converter boxes. Instead of $55.00 it was $40.00, the exact amount of the government coupon. I ran out to my car, got the coupon and bought the box, along with a box of chocolates and a mini m&m's cupid figure. Knowing I was running out of time to have a wide selection of movies I headed over to the theater. When I got there I was too late to see the movie I had planned to see, Push. I looked at the available movie times and decided quickly on a second movie, bought a ticket and headed in. I wish I had taken an extra minute to decide....
Now for a review of Friday the 13th
I am sure you know the rough semblance of the story, even if you have never seen one of these movie. Some dude in a hockey mask loves slaughtering naughty teenagers. Of course it was not always the hockey mask guy slaughtering people. In the first movie it was Jason's mother killing the horny camp counselors. You see mommy dearest sent her disfigured/retarded son, Jason, to Camp Crystal Lake. In an amazing move of incompetence the camp counselors are too busy fornicating to see that Jason is drowning. Mommy dearest gets her revenge for her son's death by slaughtering a whole group of new counselors who had nothing to do with the death of her son. Nothing like a little justice! How exactly Jason came about to star as the silent killer of the whole mess of sequels, considering he dies in the first movie, is a little beyond me. It makes no sense but I say stop worrying about the illogicalness (technical words are what I am about) of it all. Just accept that Jason, the dead kid, is now Jason the giant, hulking, machete wielding, hockey mask sporting killer we all love.
OK... so this is a sequel then right? Another movie towards Jason's never ending list of movies? Nope. In yet another bewildering move that makes you wonder what is wrong with Hollywood, this is a retelling. I am not sure what is going on but it seems that every year there is another Horror movie being redone. Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes and The Omen are a few that pop into mind. So Friday the 13th is not the first to get the reshoot treatment. It is weird that this is happening because it doesn't seem like they are old enough to get the new spin.... I hear that the next movie redub being tossed around is the Nightmare on Elm Street series. They are going to relaunch Freddy.... either way that is not my review today. I am focusing on Friday the 13th and that is why I wanted you to know the original movie was a tale of a mother seeking revenge for the death of her son.
I was curious when I heard this movie was coming out and even more curious when I saw that it had a hockey mask toting, machete wielding fiend in the ads. I wondered aloud if they had decided to do without the mom aspect. I had a chance to see this movie on Monday the 9th for free as part of a preview audience. I declined the chance because my sister was in town and this is not her type of movie. I still wanted to see the movie though. So when I missed Push's start time I pulled the trigger on this movie. The movie starts with a girl running through the wilderness and you can tell she is scared. She is limping along and using something as a crutch but you can't tell what because of the camera work. You know, the shaky cam that I can't stand. Then we hear Jason's mama giving her the "You let my boy die" lecture right before she lunges at the girl who is pleading and crying that she was not responsible for Jason's death. Of course the girl uses her crutch to chop off Jason's moms head at the last second. The crutch was a machete, apparently. As the opening credits roll we see little hands scavenge a locket from the mother's body and run off with the abandoned machete as well. Apparently that was Jason and he had been there to witness his mother's demise. Oh no! YAWN!!!!
We pick up with a group of rejects camping out in the abandoned camp area. They get killed pretty quickly, all except one girl who we never see die. YAWN!!!
The "possibly not dead" girl's brother is looking for her and he meets a bunch of new rejects headed to a rich kids parents cabin. The rich kid is a jerk and we want a great death scene for him immediately. YAWN!!! Unfortunately the death scene he gets is stupid and not worth it. In fact most of the deaths were just kind of... boring. I started yawning in the middle of the movie. I was suddenly wishing that I had waited to see this movie at the beer theaters... At least then I could have had a beer and made the movie viewing worthwhile.
I am sure you can guess how the movie went... people died then other people went looking for those dead people and then they died. All of this is something I expected in a Friday the 13th move but usually I get a laugh or two at the absurdity of the death. This movie used the fame of the series and the date to make a few bucks on a movie that made the schlocky precursors look fun, exciting and intelligent. I am seriously offended that the movie was this boring and that I spent more time wishing I had seen Confessions of A Shopaholic then paying attention to the screen. I can't stop you from seeing this movie and I am not trying too.... I am just hoping you go in expecting a suckfest. It was like Michael Bay tried to inject realism into an unrealistic flick.... totally not worth it.
Luckily I had the converter and the candy in my car to look forward too. I now have several free stations to watch and I am very happy. I am watching OPB Nature programming.... there are like 4 OPB stations. The picure looks great!
Now for a review of Friday the 13th
I am sure you know the rough semblance of the story, even if you have never seen one of these movie. Some dude in a hockey mask loves slaughtering naughty teenagers. Of course it was not always the hockey mask guy slaughtering people. In the first movie it was Jason's mother killing the horny camp counselors. You see mommy dearest sent her disfigured/retarded son, Jason, to Camp Crystal Lake. In an amazing move of incompetence the camp counselors are too busy fornicating to see that Jason is drowning. Mommy dearest gets her revenge for her son's death by slaughtering a whole group of new counselors who had nothing to do with the death of her son. Nothing like a little justice! How exactly Jason came about to star as the silent killer of the whole mess of sequels, considering he dies in the first movie, is a little beyond me. It makes no sense but I say stop worrying about the illogicalness (technical words are what I am about) of it all. Just accept that Jason, the dead kid, is now Jason the giant, hulking, machete wielding, hockey mask sporting killer we all love.
OK... so this is a sequel then right? Another movie towards Jason's never ending list of movies? Nope. In yet another bewildering move that makes you wonder what is wrong with Hollywood, this is a retelling. I am not sure what is going on but it seems that every year there is another Horror movie being redone. Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes and The Omen are a few that pop into mind. So Friday the 13th is not the first to get the reshoot treatment. It is weird that this is happening because it doesn't seem like they are old enough to get the new spin.... I hear that the next movie redub being tossed around is the Nightmare on Elm Street series. They are going to relaunch Freddy.... either way that is not my review today. I am focusing on Friday the 13th and that is why I wanted you to know the original movie was a tale of a mother seeking revenge for the death of her son.
I was curious when I heard this movie was coming out and even more curious when I saw that it had a hockey mask toting, machete wielding fiend in the ads. I wondered aloud if they had decided to do without the mom aspect. I had a chance to see this movie on Monday the 9th for free as part of a preview audience. I declined the chance because my sister was in town and this is not her type of movie. I still wanted to see the movie though. So when I missed Push's start time I pulled the trigger on this movie. The movie starts with a girl running through the wilderness and you can tell she is scared. She is limping along and using something as a crutch but you can't tell what because of the camera work. You know, the shaky cam that I can't stand. Then we hear Jason's mama giving her the "You let my boy die" lecture right before she lunges at the girl who is pleading and crying that she was not responsible for Jason's death. Of course the girl uses her crutch to chop off Jason's moms head at the last second. The crutch was a machete, apparently. As the opening credits roll we see little hands scavenge a locket from the mother's body and run off with the abandoned machete as well. Apparently that was Jason and he had been there to witness his mother's demise. Oh no! YAWN!!!!
We pick up with a group of rejects camping out in the abandoned camp area. They get killed pretty quickly, all except one girl who we never see die. YAWN!!!
The "possibly not dead" girl's brother is looking for her and he meets a bunch of new rejects headed to a rich kids parents cabin. The rich kid is a jerk and we want a great death scene for him immediately. YAWN!!! Unfortunately the death scene he gets is stupid and not worth it. In fact most of the deaths were just kind of... boring. I started yawning in the middle of the movie. I was suddenly wishing that I had waited to see this movie at the beer theaters... At least then I could have had a beer and made the movie viewing worthwhile.
I am sure you can guess how the movie went... people died then other people went looking for those dead people and then they died. All of this is something I expected in a Friday the 13th move but usually I get a laugh or two at the absurdity of the death. This movie used the fame of the series and the date to make a few bucks on a movie that made the schlocky precursors look fun, exciting and intelligent. I am seriously offended that the movie was this boring and that I spent more time wishing I had seen Confessions of A Shopaholic then paying attention to the screen. I can't stop you from seeing this movie and I am not trying too.... I am just hoping you go in expecting a suckfest. It was like Michael Bay tried to inject realism into an unrealistic flick.... totally not worth it.
Luckily I had the converter and the candy in my car to look forward too. I now have several free stations to watch and I am very happy. I am watching OPB Nature programming.... there are like 4 OPB stations. The picure looks great!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The Rambling Review of The Hammer
School is annoying! WAH! Cry me a freaking river! Yeah, yeah. I should thank my lucky stars I am in school racking up enormous levels of debt. Boo hoo! OK I am done crying about school for a little while. Thanks for all the empathy and compassion you lot showed me. I hope your milk goes bad before you can use it all.
I am back to reviewing movies... why can't someone pay me for this? Anyway this movie came out last year and never really made a huge run of it but the reviews are pretty positive. Almost all the reviews seem to share one common factor: they are amazed Adam Carolla can act. I am a fan of Adam Carolla and every chance I get I listen to his radio show. I was fully aware that The Hammer was coming out and I had planned to see the movie but it slipped by anyhow. To say I was completely coherent and observant during the last year would be a lie. I spent a good majority of the time avoiding thinking about the impending doom of my job loss and then I spent an entire summer on bar hopping, sun soaking and beer drinking. It was fabulous. So I missed this movie's run at the box office. Luckily for me I have friends. The friend I need to thank in particular is Cat. Not because I think she will ever read this review (because she won't) but because she saw this move and knew me enough to get me a copy. You see Cat likes listening to Adam Carolla and unlike me, (who never manages to turn on a radio before 10 AM) she gets to hear a moment or two of Adam Carolla's radio show most mornings. He began announcing the release of his movie and a special offer to autograph any copies that were sent to him. Cat bought a few copies and sent them directly to him. She bought a copy for me and sent my copy of The Hammer to be autographed. I recieved the movie in January but I just saw this movie tonight. I am not so good on the follow through.... my bad. Anyway this long intro is over and now I bring you, without further delay, my review of The Hammer.
A pathetic but supposedly skilled carpenter, that is down on his luck, stumbles into a second shot for a boxing career. His left is dropping blows of amazing force that soon catches a boxing trainers eye. With a little bad luck at his current job and a promise of a new future our 40 year old hero, played by Adam Carolla, decides to give boxing another shot. He begins training with 2 other Olympic hopefuls including one that is gunning for the same weight division. The young gun is threatened by the old carpenter and is inspired to train harder. The carpenter uses the young kids taunts to drive him harder and we see this old funny guy has heart, guts and determination. Never to be out cliched Carolla's hero is plagued by a previous boxing career that went down in flames due to his own lack of ambition. To add the twist the trainer who gives him his second chance has devious plans that are less concerned with this old guys future then with milking him for free training for his young star. Haunted by his past it seems he is always ready to give up and stick with his self imposed label of a loser. Even when his new girl, best friend (Ozzy) and sparring partner/top rival tell him not too.
This was a nice story of a come back kid, who has wised up a bit as he aged. Some dreams are worth fighting for (pardon the pun) and sometimes it takes a moment to find the right dreams to fight for. Being a fan of the Adam Carolla show I know this was shot on a pretty small budget but it is not cheesy nor overly pathetic. I knew the likely flow of the story before it happened but I still enjoyed the ride. I would recommend checking out The Hammer for those in the mood for an underdog movie, a sports comedy or a romantic comedy. It has a little bit of everything. This movie is not awesome but it's good, entertaining and delivers on all the heart warming moments you need.
P.S. Keep an eye out for the Nicaraguan star, Ozzy. He steals every single scene he is in.
I am back to reviewing movies... why can't someone pay me for this? Anyway this movie came out last year and never really made a huge run of it but the reviews are pretty positive. Almost all the reviews seem to share one common factor: they are amazed Adam Carolla can act. I am a fan of Adam Carolla and every chance I get I listen to his radio show. I was fully aware that The Hammer was coming out and I had planned to see the movie but it slipped by anyhow. To say I was completely coherent and observant during the last year would be a lie. I spent a good majority of the time avoiding thinking about the impending doom of my job loss and then I spent an entire summer on bar hopping, sun soaking and beer drinking. It was fabulous. So I missed this movie's run at the box office. Luckily for me I have friends. The friend I need to thank in particular is Cat. Not because I think she will ever read this review (because she won't) but because she saw this move and knew me enough to get me a copy. You see Cat likes listening to Adam Carolla and unlike me, (who never manages to turn on a radio before 10 AM) she gets to hear a moment or two of Adam Carolla's radio show most mornings. He began announcing the release of his movie and a special offer to autograph any copies that were sent to him. Cat bought a few copies and sent them directly to him. She bought a copy for me and sent my copy of The Hammer to be autographed. I recieved the movie in January but I just saw this movie tonight. I am not so good on the follow through.... my bad. Anyway this long intro is over and now I bring you, without further delay, my review of The Hammer.
A pathetic but supposedly skilled carpenter, that is down on his luck, stumbles into a second shot for a boxing career. His left is dropping blows of amazing force that soon catches a boxing trainers eye. With a little bad luck at his current job and a promise of a new future our 40 year old hero, played by Adam Carolla, decides to give boxing another shot. He begins training with 2 other Olympic hopefuls including one that is gunning for the same weight division. The young gun is threatened by the old carpenter and is inspired to train harder. The carpenter uses the young kids taunts to drive him harder and we see this old funny guy has heart, guts and determination. Never to be out cliched Carolla's hero is plagued by a previous boxing career that went down in flames due to his own lack of ambition. To add the twist the trainer who gives him his second chance has devious plans that are less concerned with this old guys future then with milking him for free training for his young star. Haunted by his past it seems he is always ready to give up and stick with his self imposed label of a loser. Even when his new girl, best friend (Ozzy) and sparring partner/top rival tell him not too.
This was a nice story of a come back kid, who has wised up a bit as he aged. Some dreams are worth fighting for (pardon the pun) and sometimes it takes a moment to find the right dreams to fight for. Being a fan of the Adam Carolla show I know this was shot on a pretty small budget but it is not cheesy nor overly pathetic. I knew the likely flow of the story before it happened but I still enjoyed the ride. I would recommend checking out The Hammer for those in the mood for an underdog movie, a sports comedy or a romantic comedy. It has a little bit of everything. This movie is not awesome but it's good, entertaining and delivers on all the heart warming moments you need.
P.S. Keep an eye out for the Nicaraguan star, Ozzy. He steals every single scene he is in.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
A pic to share
Hey all!
I was looking at the pictures from Maryann's visit and I have some good ones. Unfortunately I have not felt like doing anything with them as of yet. Luckily for you during my perusal I discovered that I did want to share one pic of Maryann at the Japanese Garden. It is a cute one and for the record it was actually a pretty cold day. I was bundled pretty decently too.... 3 layers. Not quite at Maryann's level of bundling (312 layers) but a lot of layers for me.
If you wanted something to read... I found a post I made in 2007 that made me giggle. It was my post about "My tips for a successful blog!" Here is the link: http://crazedlunatikdesigns.blogspot.com/2007/10/my-tips-for-successful-blog.html
I was looking at the pictures from Maryann's visit and I have some good ones. Unfortunately I have not felt like doing anything with them as of yet. Luckily for you during my perusal I discovered that I did want to share one pic of Maryann at the Japanese Garden. It is a cute one and for the record it was actually a pretty cold day. I was bundled pretty decently too.... 3 layers. Not quite at Maryann's level of bundling (312 layers) but a lot of layers for me.
If you wanted something to read... I found a post I made in 2007 that made me giggle. It was my post about "My tips for a successful blog!" Here is the link: http://crazedlunatikdesigns.blogspot.com/2007/10/my-tips-for-successful-blog.html
Thursday, February 12, 2009
School sucks!
I was absolutely positively worth nothing yesterday. Well let's back up.... I did a lot yesterday. At Free Geek I helped rearrange the store for 5 hours. They have big plans for the place and I helped get a few of them started. It was a lot of work and I was tired when I got done. Of course my day was not done yet, I was headed to the NELA center to be available as a tutor. I almost got a chance to help edit a paper but that fell through as she decided to go home instead. So instead I worked on doing some prep work for my Mad Science classes. I organized the take homes I will hand out Thursday and Friday. It involves little baggies, clay and stir straws. Anyway, when I finally got home I turned on the television.... then the dvd player and watched Naruto. I was planning on doing some homework after watching a show or two. After the first show ended I dutifully turned on the computer with good intentions; instead I got sucked into the internet.
I watched Kyle XY and talked to people on Facebook. Next thing I know I'm yawning and it is 12:30... I failed to post anything in the online class Wednesday and as a result I will need to reply to things on Saturday. I planned to have Saturday off... Let me explain. At the University of Phoenix, online courses (and the mixed physical class and online class that I have) have a standard rule about proper participation. I need to be online 4 times a week, reply to 2 posts from other people per day, and post an original response to all teacher posted questions. I did not do anything on Sunday or Monday and in order to take Saturday off I needed to be online Tuesday through Friday. In the past classes I have been online and posting everyday. The combination of my volunteering and working has significantly reduced my available time but that is not the main issue here. The main issue is that a year into the program I am a little demotivated. Perhaps it's the nonstop method of classes, maybe it's the fact that I am learning more with my after school teaching then I am in these classes, or it could be that the assignments I am doing seem to have little to do with reality, more of a time filler then anything else. Either way I am feeling less and less inclined to jump into the fray and discuss the silly topics. I am tired of the assigned reading that seems to think blathering incessantly about theory will help prepare me for the classroom. Maybe one of the factors in my burn out are struggling to look for a place to do the required observation hours with no tips or help from the school. In a lot of ways this school has made being in school easier but it has made things harder.
Here is an example: I am never quite sure who to talk to or help in an advising role. I have a friend who sent a question off to someone they were thinking might e able to help or at least point them to the right person and a month later still had no answer. There is not a cyber advising office as far as I can tell and it is hard to really figure out what every ones role is in the school. I had experiences at NAU where I ran around trying to talk to the right person and kept getting redirected. I am not sure why there is no clear cut path to follow and there is so much groping around in the dark in academia. In all of my years in customer service and sales positions I was told that I needed to do everything in my power to make sure that I got the customer to the right person who would have the answer. I would call and track the person down before connecting the person (most of the time, unless the customer was in league with satan). Nothing is more frustrating then getting the run around but schools never seem to bother with improving this aspect. They put a lot of the strain of figuring out where to go and who to talk to on the student's back and in an online setting this can become even more frustrating. Considering the money funneling into these places this is a huge bone of contention for me. I should be walking on rose petals whenever I go to campus!
Yet that is not the reason I am tired of school and wanting desperately to be done. The real reason is that for every decent class I get I end up with 4 that are irrelevant. It is even worse with the homework. We do at least one assignment individually each week and usually one as a group, as a result there are plenty of assignments that make me think I am in a creative writing class. Even worse is that a lot of the classes are the same subjects with a different name so I write similar papers over and over again. All these assignments and classes miss the point. You need to teach to really learn to teach. Only after you teach do the theories begin to make sense. Why exactly would you think having aspiring teachers design a role play would teach them anything about being a teacher? So freaking irritating! GAH! Medical students work at a teaching hospital because they need to know more then just what a book says to be a doctor. Why don't teachers follow a soimilar path? Then again that is a totally different discussion better left for another time.
I watched Kyle XY and talked to people on Facebook. Next thing I know I'm yawning and it is 12:30... I failed to post anything in the online class Wednesday and as a result I will need to reply to things on Saturday. I planned to have Saturday off... Let me explain. At the University of Phoenix, online courses (and the mixed physical class and online class that I have) have a standard rule about proper participation. I need to be online 4 times a week, reply to 2 posts from other people per day, and post an original response to all teacher posted questions. I did not do anything on Sunday or Monday and in order to take Saturday off I needed to be online Tuesday through Friday. In the past classes I have been online and posting everyday. The combination of my volunteering and working has significantly reduced my available time but that is not the main issue here. The main issue is that a year into the program I am a little demotivated. Perhaps it's the nonstop method of classes, maybe it's the fact that I am learning more with my after school teaching then I am in these classes, or it could be that the assignments I am doing seem to have little to do with reality, more of a time filler then anything else. Either way I am feeling less and less inclined to jump into the fray and discuss the silly topics. I am tired of the assigned reading that seems to think blathering incessantly about theory will help prepare me for the classroom. Maybe one of the factors in my burn out are struggling to look for a place to do the required observation hours with no tips or help from the school. In a lot of ways this school has made being in school easier but it has made things harder.
Here is an example: I am never quite sure who to talk to or help in an advising role. I have a friend who sent a question off to someone they were thinking might e able to help or at least point them to the right person and a month later still had no answer. There is not a cyber advising office as far as I can tell and it is hard to really figure out what every ones role is in the school. I had experiences at NAU where I ran around trying to talk to the right person and kept getting redirected. I am not sure why there is no clear cut path to follow and there is so much groping around in the dark in academia. In all of my years in customer service and sales positions I was told that I needed to do everything in my power to make sure that I got the customer to the right person who would have the answer. I would call and track the person down before connecting the person (most of the time, unless the customer was in league with satan). Nothing is more frustrating then getting the run around but schools never seem to bother with improving this aspect. They put a lot of the strain of figuring out where to go and who to talk to on the student's back and in an online setting this can become even more frustrating. Considering the money funneling into these places this is a huge bone of contention for me. I should be walking on rose petals whenever I go to campus!
Yet that is not the reason I am tired of school and wanting desperately to be done. The real reason is that for every decent class I get I end up with 4 that are irrelevant. It is even worse with the homework. We do at least one assignment individually each week and usually one as a group, as a result there are plenty of assignments that make me think I am in a creative writing class. Even worse is that a lot of the classes are the same subjects with a different name so I write similar papers over and over again. All these assignments and classes miss the point. You need to teach to really learn to teach. Only after you teach do the theories begin to make sense. Why exactly would you think having aspiring teachers design a role play would teach them anything about being a teacher? So freaking irritating! GAH! Medical students work at a teaching hospital because they need to know more then just what a book says to be a doctor. Why don't teachers follow a soimilar path? Then again that is a totally different discussion better left for another time.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Bye Maryann!
Well, today is the day Maryann is leaving Portland to head back to Phoenix. As I said before, we have had a grand time! Yesterday we arose from our slumber a little later in the day but after our coffee we headed toward Multnomah Falls. Of course you have to stop a few places along the way first. We headed to Vista House and looked at the river. Vista House is an awesome place to stop and stretch your legs and take in the scenery. After that we stopped at Latourell Falls, Bridal Veil Falls and Wahkeena Falls. Leaving Multnomah Falls for the last stop before heading back to Portland. Of course the day started out sunny but soon storm clouds rolled in and while we were at Wahkeena Falls it started raining, then began hailing and went back to raining. It continued raining while we walked up to the Multnomah Falls bridge and even though I had wanted to hike a little more I decided against it. I was cold and wet and not wearing a rainproof jacket. We headed back to Portland and after a few minutes lounging at my apartment we headed to Thai Basil and had dinner. Of course 75% of the items there had some animal product in them, for example the curry had some crab paste or something like that in it. We had a good meal despite their efforts to eliminate everything Maryann could eat. I was a little tired and decided we should rent a few movies for the evening. We picked up Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist and Burn Before Reading. They were both good movies. Burn Before Reading had a few surprises in store and was pretty funny. Nick & Norah was a cute but predictable romantic comedy.
In a few minutes, Maryann will make one last trip to Voodoo Donuts and then we will throw her suitcase in my car. I will take her down to the MAX station and she will go bye bye. It has been fun but I need to get back to all my responsibilities.
In a few minutes, Maryann will make one last trip to Voodoo Donuts and then we will throw her suitcase in my car. I will take her down to the MAX station and she will go bye bye. It has been fun but I need to get back to all my responsibilities.
Monday, February 09, 2009
Maryann's Visit Thus Far
My sister, Maryann, is in town for a few days and we have been having a good time of it. She arrived on Thursday while I was learning how to guide high school students on how to fill out a scholarship app. To say that was a grand entrance filled with excitement and intrigue would be a lie. It was interesting for me because I will be doing this a few days a week until March 2, 2009; but not as interesting to Maryann who has no such plans. When that was done we headed to Hopworks Urban Brewery where I told her I would be vegetarian for her visit. I had french fries and an order of hummus and veggies for dinner along with some beer and freshly roasted peanuts. It was a good meal but I kind of had a craving for the pepperoni pizza that walked by....
Anyway we awoke on Friday and had coffee and donuts from Voodoo Donuts. They have a vegan donut which allowed Maryann to get a donut after years of senselessly (wink) depriving herself of them. I am not a huge donut fan but an occasional donut every once in a while is fun. Voodoo Donuts is a fun place to go when the craving hits. They specialize in strange combos such as a donut that is shaped like a man that is stabbed with a pretzel (like a voodoo doll), a maple bar topped with bacon, cereal topped donuts (Cocoa Puffs, Trix, etc.), chicostick topped, an apple fritter covered with peanut butter, chocolate and chocolate chips. You may have seen this place on Rachel Ray's show and most recently on the Amazing Race, it is a Portland standard. Anyway then I had to head to work and she headed to a day of gallivanting about town. When I was finally done with work and the responsibilities inherent within that realm we went out. The first stop was Report Lounge, where we met some co-workers. Then we ended the night at East Burn.... we also found out that Portland craft beers are stronger then Coronas. Of course by we I mean she found out and I realized in the future a warning might be in order. The next day was more or less a wash. We met Dad, MaryJo and Aunt Wanda at Macaroni Grill and had a nice chat. Then we went to see Valkyrie at Laurelhurst Theaters where I drank beer and she abstained. She was still a little less then 100% and we went home and watched movies....
Today we slept in a little and then headed to Sweet Pea. Sweet Pea is a vegan bakery at the vegan "mall"; one of four stores. Yes, vegans call a four store grouping a mall.... they gets no respect! If you were a vegan you might be happy to see a place where you could get sweets, slogan tees, a tattoo and groceries (all guaranteed to be cruelty free) in one spot. You might also think that Sweet Pea's scary Sunday brunch is worth going back to. Of course, I am not vegan so I am merely supposing here. I went to Sweet Pea mainly because my crazy tree hugging sister was dying to go there. I ordered a bagel with a chipotle spread on it and a cup of coffee. No that is not true.... I ordered orange juice but orange juice is for brunch participants only. My second choice was coffee. I am still wondering how that coffee was so hot.... Anyway the bagel was good but the smear was really spicy, almost unpleasantly so. Maryann dived on the brunch and the orange juice. The brunch had one decent looking thing.... a hash brown slightly reminiscent of a McDonald's hash brown. Then they had neon yellow glop that pretended to be eggs, a sad looking gravy, biscuits that I personally thought needed to be browned for a moment or two, and these super scary grey lumps. Maryann reports the grey lumps were delicious..... I think that this further proves that vegans are crazy. Imagine if you will that you own a paper pulping business and one day while you are pulping paper you begin to wonder if the grey mush is edible so you cut a chuck out, bake it and eat it. Soon you have added seasoning to it and people that are totally crazy start buying it from you.... that is what I thought about as I looked at the grey lumps. Those grey lumps were scary looking, Maryann admitted that she was not thrilled by their appearance but she knew they were animal product free and she gobbled it down. Why? Presentation should count for something! Alas I am speaking of people who hate animal slaughter but love meat so much that they spend a lot of time making products look, taste and feel like meat. Sounds like a lot of wasted time to me! Apparently mysterious grey lumps are just fine for most vegans. Well that is enough on scary grey lumps and loony non-meat eating meat lovers. I must confess that my theory is that all vegans had a bad petting zoo experience where a goat followed them around biting them and it caused massive emotional trauma to their psyche.
Anyway I was dying to go to a place called the Curry Leaf. The Curry Leaf is a great little Indian food place in Beaverton. They have a buffet on Sunday that is completely vegetarian and several of the offerings are vegan. We headed there even after the scary brunch. Maryann loved it. Indian food is one of the things I always use to argue that meatless does not mean bad or side dish all the time. This particular place serves two buffets on the weekends. Saturday is the more familiar buffet with Tandoori chicken and a few other meat dishes amongst vegetable dishes, apparently this style is more common in Northern India. Southern India has it's day on Sunday and it is sans meat. All the products are flavorful, spicy and filled with a variety of textures that make you crave another helping. It was my second trip and I hope to go back again soon.
From there we headed to the Japanese Garden for a walk around in the crisp February weather. It was a good day for being at the garden as most people stayed at home and kept warm. From the gardens we headed to NW 23rd avenue, known as a shopping mecca in Portland. We wandered through a few shops before arriving at Laurelwood Public House and shared a basket of garlic fries. I had to get home to work on some homework which Maryann made all the more sweeter by providing a sweet treat from Sweet Pea (all puns within this sentence are intentional). I should clarify that the baked goods at Sweet pea are actually really good and not noticeably vegan. So maybe the Vegans are trying to slowly win over the non-vegans by serving a few tasty products without relying on any other animals besides the human making it. When I was done with my homework stint we headed out to see the movie Religulous at the Laurelhurst theater and did so with a pitcher of beer. Anyway I am about to call it a night.
As for any vegans out there I am just teasing. You can pursue making the perfect non-meat meat product for the rest of time if that makes you happy. Someone has to eat all the strange grey lumps in the world and it might as well be you. As I read this aloud Maryann tells me that she was never chased by an evil goat at a petting zoo; I guess my theories are sometimes wrong. Maybe people that eat meat were harrassed by petting zoo animals.....
Anyway we awoke on Friday and had coffee and donuts from Voodoo Donuts. They have a vegan donut which allowed Maryann to get a donut after years of senselessly (wink) depriving herself of them. I am not a huge donut fan but an occasional donut every once in a while is fun. Voodoo Donuts is a fun place to go when the craving hits. They specialize in strange combos such as a donut that is shaped like a man that is stabbed with a pretzel (like a voodoo doll), a maple bar topped with bacon, cereal topped donuts (Cocoa Puffs, Trix, etc.), chicostick topped, an apple fritter covered with peanut butter, chocolate and chocolate chips. You may have seen this place on Rachel Ray's show and most recently on the Amazing Race, it is a Portland standard. Anyway then I had to head to work and she headed to a day of gallivanting about town. When I was finally done with work and the responsibilities inherent within that realm we went out. The first stop was Report Lounge, where we met some co-workers. Then we ended the night at East Burn.... we also found out that Portland craft beers are stronger then Coronas. Of course by we I mean she found out and I realized in the future a warning might be in order. The next day was more or less a wash. We met Dad, MaryJo and Aunt Wanda at Macaroni Grill and had a nice chat. Then we went to see Valkyrie at Laurelhurst Theaters where I drank beer and she abstained. She was still a little less then 100% and we went home and watched movies....
Today we slept in a little and then headed to Sweet Pea. Sweet Pea is a vegan bakery at the vegan "mall"; one of four stores. Yes, vegans call a four store grouping a mall.... they gets no respect! If you were a vegan you might be happy to see a place where you could get sweets, slogan tees, a tattoo and groceries (all guaranteed to be cruelty free) in one spot. You might also think that Sweet Pea's scary Sunday brunch is worth going back to. Of course, I am not vegan so I am merely supposing here. I went to Sweet Pea mainly because my crazy tree hugging sister was dying to go there. I ordered a bagel with a chipotle spread on it and a cup of coffee. No that is not true.... I ordered orange juice but orange juice is for brunch participants only. My second choice was coffee. I am still wondering how that coffee was so hot.... Anyway the bagel was good but the smear was really spicy, almost unpleasantly so. Maryann dived on the brunch and the orange juice. The brunch had one decent looking thing.... a hash brown slightly reminiscent of a McDonald's hash brown. Then they had neon yellow glop that pretended to be eggs, a sad looking gravy, biscuits that I personally thought needed to be browned for a moment or two, and these super scary grey lumps. Maryann reports the grey lumps were delicious..... I think that this further proves that vegans are crazy. Imagine if you will that you own a paper pulping business and one day while you are pulping paper you begin to wonder if the grey mush is edible so you cut a chuck out, bake it and eat it. Soon you have added seasoning to it and people that are totally crazy start buying it from you.... that is what I thought about as I looked at the grey lumps. Those grey lumps were scary looking, Maryann admitted that she was not thrilled by their appearance but she knew they were animal product free and she gobbled it down. Why? Presentation should count for something! Alas I am speaking of people who hate animal slaughter but love meat so much that they spend a lot of time making products look, taste and feel like meat. Sounds like a lot of wasted time to me! Apparently mysterious grey lumps are just fine for most vegans. Well that is enough on scary grey lumps and loony non-meat eating meat lovers. I must confess that my theory is that all vegans had a bad petting zoo experience where a goat followed them around biting them and it caused massive emotional trauma to their psyche.
Anyway I was dying to go to a place called the Curry Leaf. The Curry Leaf is a great little Indian food place in Beaverton. They have a buffet on Sunday that is completely vegetarian and several of the offerings are vegan. We headed there even after the scary brunch. Maryann loved it. Indian food is one of the things I always use to argue that meatless does not mean bad or side dish all the time. This particular place serves two buffets on the weekends. Saturday is the more familiar buffet with Tandoori chicken and a few other meat dishes amongst vegetable dishes, apparently this style is more common in Northern India. Southern India has it's day on Sunday and it is sans meat. All the products are flavorful, spicy and filled with a variety of textures that make you crave another helping. It was my second trip and I hope to go back again soon.
From there we headed to the Japanese Garden for a walk around in the crisp February weather. It was a good day for being at the garden as most people stayed at home and kept warm. From the gardens we headed to NW 23rd avenue, known as a shopping mecca in Portland. We wandered through a few shops before arriving at Laurelwood Public House and shared a basket of garlic fries. I had to get home to work on some homework which Maryann made all the more sweeter by providing a sweet treat from Sweet Pea (all puns within this sentence are intentional). I should clarify that the baked goods at Sweet pea are actually really good and not noticeably vegan. So maybe the Vegans are trying to slowly win over the non-vegans by serving a few tasty products without relying on any other animals besides the human making it. When I was done with my homework stint we headed out to see the movie Religulous at the Laurelhurst theater and did so with a pitcher of beer. Anyway I am about to call it a night.
As for any vegans out there I am just teasing. You can pursue making the perfect non-meat meat product for the rest of time if that makes you happy. Someone has to eat all the strange grey lumps in the world and it might as well be you. As I read this aloud Maryann tells me that she was never chased by an evil goat at a petting zoo; I guess my theories are sometimes wrong. Maybe people that eat meat were harrassed by petting zoo animals.....
Sunday, February 01, 2009
What a SUPER day!
First off let me say that The Slants are a cool band with a great sound. Helping Oregon Music Live film their show was a complete blast. I will be looking to help them do this again.
Now let me share that I am really hoping the Cardinals will win today. I already have my Cardinals gear on and I am ready for some football.
Finally, I want to share a few comics I found amusing that have nothing to do with sports! Two of these are Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis. The first one was funny to me because I always found Shakespeare to be hard to understand and te second one amuses me because I find the whole anger over people not speaking English to be a little crazy. The last one is Get Fuzzy by Darby Conley and I just love this conversation about poetry.
Now let me share that I am really hoping the Cardinals will win today. I already have my Cardinals gear on and I am ready for some football.
Finally, I want to share a few comics I found amusing that have nothing to do with sports! Two of these are Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis. The first one was funny to me because I always found Shakespeare to be hard to understand and te second one amuses me because I find the whole anger over people not speaking English to be a little crazy. The last one is Get Fuzzy by Darby Conley and I just love this conversation about poetry.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Busy Bee
Well.... this week has been long but it's not over yet! I am taking a breather from the homework I am doing to write a note. An update if you will.
I wanted to share what is new. I am volunteering with Oregon Music Live tomorrow (Saturday) while they are shooting a local band called The Slants. I am not real clear on what I will be doing yet but I am ready to help in anyway I can. I plan to take a few classes at the PCM building so that maybe I can try a little camera or sound work next time. PCM is Portland Community Media and they have several stations up here that broadcast shows. So... Public Access. Think Wayne's World. I am not sure they would really pursue the connection but my brother mentioned that when I told him what I was doing this weekend. As far as the classes go... they cost money so I won't probably do too many of them in the near future but I may take a class on camera work.
Of course Sunday is the Superbowl and the Cardinals are in it! Wow! I am still in shock, it just sees unreal. I am looking forward tot he game although I have yet to really nail down a plan for viewing it. I may end up watching at home this year.
Another interesting little thing that happened this week was I got hooked up to volunteer time at a place called Free Geek. They take computers and electronic donations and salvage all usable parts (unusable parts get sorted into the proper recycling sections) and build refurbished computers to sell to people who can't afford a flashy new one. What is even better than that is they have several different ways that volunteering can result in a computer every year. I am not really needing a computer at the moment so I am not doing it for the computer, just for the chance to volunteer at something different and perhaps take advantage of some free tech education courses. Who knows maybe I will need a computer one day. They use Linux on the refurbished computers and I am interested in learning more about Linux, which is almost reason enough for me to contribute hours and accept a computer. Of course, ultimately I want people that need a cheaper computer to be able to get one and I don't need one just to satisfy my curiosity.
I am still tutoring at NELA on Wednesday and Thursday evenings, although I have only proofread one paper so far. Deadlines for scholarships are coming up and they are expecting some heavy flow of traffic and helpers will be needed. That will be good. I am also teaching English to Adult Language Learners.... but this week the freak snow storm caused a lot of trouble so I did not make it in. I will be doing that again this week... I hope it goes well.
Mad Science is nearing this session's end and we are signing up for next session. I, of course, forgot to turn in my availability form today and will need to drop it by Monday. Of course I actually have a few requests to make in regards to the schedule... To further add to my fun I was evaluated this week and it was a choppy experience. I can only improve. The good thing is that after watching my class today I am still being asked to teach in the next session. I have a lot to work on though as I was unhappy with my performance today in general let alone because it was being evaluated. If the evaluation had not taken place I would have still been irritated with my performance today and been figuring out how to do in the very near future (next week).
I wanted to share what is new. I am volunteering with Oregon Music Live tomorrow (Saturday) while they are shooting a local band called The Slants. I am not real clear on what I will be doing yet but I am ready to help in anyway I can. I plan to take a few classes at the PCM building so that maybe I can try a little camera or sound work next time. PCM is Portland Community Media and they have several stations up here that broadcast shows. So... Public Access. Think Wayne's World. I am not sure they would really pursue the connection but my brother mentioned that when I told him what I was doing this weekend. As far as the classes go... they cost money so I won't probably do too many of them in the near future but I may take a class on camera work.
Of course Sunday is the Superbowl and the Cardinals are in it! Wow! I am still in shock, it just sees unreal. I am looking forward tot he game although I have yet to really nail down a plan for viewing it. I may end up watching at home this year.
Another interesting little thing that happened this week was I got hooked up to volunteer time at a place called Free Geek. They take computers and electronic donations and salvage all usable parts (unusable parts get sorted into the proper recycling sections) and build refurbished computers to sell to people who can't afford a flashy new one. What is even better than that is they have several different ways that volunteering can result in a computer every year. I am not really needing a computer at the moment so I am not doing it for the computer, just for the chance to volunteer at something different and perhaps take advantage of some free tech education courses. Who knows maybe I will need a computer one day. They use Linux on the refurbished computers and I am interested in learning more about Linux, which is almost reason enough for me to contribute hours and accept a computer. Of course, ultimately I want people that need a cheaper computer to be able to get one and I don't need one just to satisfy my curiosity.
I am still tutoring at NELA on Wednesday and Thursday evenings, although I have only proofread one paper so far. Deadlines for scholarships are coming up and they are expecting some heavy flow of traffic and helpers will be needed. That will be good. I am also teaching English to Adult Language Learners.... but this week the freak snow storm caused a lot of trouble so I did not make it in. I will be doing that again this week... I hope it goes well.
Mad Science is nearing this session's end and we are signing up for next session. I, of course, forgot to turn in my availability form today and will need to drop it by Monday. Of course I actually have a few requests to make in regards to the schedule... To further add to my fun I was evaluated this week and it was a choppy experience. I can only improve. The good thing is that after watching my class today I am still being asked to teach in the next session. I have a lot to work on though as I was unhappy with my performance today in general let alone because it was being evaluated. If the evaluation had not taken place I would have still been irritated with my performance today and been figuring out how to do in the very near future (next week).
Monday, January 26, 2009
A day on the phone...
The job market is steadily getting worse and there is no real end in sight. Everyone is starting to buckle down and tighten their belts. People in jobs are hoping to at least stay in a job. Those without jobs are wishing they were in one. As more people join us in the unemployment line the phone line to the unemployment office is over run. I have been calling all morning to get qualified for an extension of benefits but I keep getting a message that all circuits are busy. Makes you wonder why the unemployment insurance office isn't hiring. After all it seems to be the only booming business. So while I endlessly redial, hoping to get through, I figured I should write a new entry.
This is a year of redefiniton. As companies pilot themselves into a black pit and then whimper for the government to bail them out, the people are left to fend for themselves. I am glad that we are bailing out companies and that some people get to stay employed. What I don't get is why no one seem to be talking about keeping these companies accountable. It seems like they need to redesign their business and start thinking of ways to dig themselves out of the pit they dove into, while blindfolded and drunk. Of course I am a nobody. Just some unemployed jerk watching mismanagement get rewarded and the general public get penalized. It's funny how many people are worried about illegal immigrants and the benefits they get when we turn around and hand out billions to companies who should have known better. Getting back to the fact that I am a nobody.... the only thing I can change is myself and what I do in this world. Just because I am currently underemployed and have not heard back from any company I applied to, last response I recieved was in November. It was Mad Science.... So I am not getting a lot of looks from companies, even ones I am perfectly qualified to work for. I need to reinvent who I am and what roads I can walk. Hence the volunteering gigs I keep mentioning. I am currently working with 3 different groups and trying to expand to 4 (maybe 5). I have no experience in any of the areas I am volunteering, I am merely learning as I go. I am not content to sit about any longer. I need to be busy, even if I am not getting paid.
The phone message still says the same thing "All circuits are busy right now". Hopefully I will get this taken care of by tomorrow evening. I could really use my government handout. Bills need to be paid.
This is a year of redefiniton. As companies pilot themselves into a black pit and then whimper for the government to bail them out, the people are left to fend for themselves. I am glad that we are bailing out companies and that some people get to stay employed. What I don't get is why no one seem to be talking about keeping these companies accountable. It seems like they need to redesign their business and start thinking of ways to dig themselves out of the pit they dove into, while blindfolded and drunk. Of course I am a nobody. Just some unemployed jerk watching mismanagement get rewarded and the general public get penalized. It's funny how many people are worried about illegal immigrants and the benefits they get when we turn around and hand out billions to companies who should have known better. Getting back to the fact that I am a nobody.... the only thing I can change is myself and what I do in this world. Just because I am currently underemployed and have not heard back from any company I applied to, last response I recieved was in November. It was Mad Science.... So I am not getting a lot of looks from companies, even ones I am perfectly qualified to work for. I need to reinvent who I am and what roads I can walk. Hence the volunteering gigs I keep mentioning. I am currently working with 3 different groups and trying to expand to 4 (maybe 5). I have no experience in any of the areas I am volunteering, I am merely learning as I go. I am not content to sit about any longer. I need to be busy, even if I am not getting paid.
The phone message still says the same thing "All circuits are busy right now". Hopefully I will get this taken care of by tomorrow evening. I could really use my government handout. Bills need to be paid.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
A Rambling Review of Let The Right One In
I saw a movie last night that I enjoyed. It was called Let The Right One In. It was a foreign film with subtitles and therefore not a movie I usually go see at the theaters. I usually bring mandatory reading movies home to view at my leisure (this time leisure should be pronounced "leh shur"). So you may be thiking, if you usually don't go to the theater to watch subtitled films, what were you doing? Well I read Francisco's review (focoproject.com) of the movie and I was intrigued. This movie was originally released in 2008 in super minor limited release but it seems to be crawling through theaters again. Anyway my friend loved it, and he had not steered me wrong on Slumdog Millionaire, so I took his word for it. I went down to the Living Room Theater, which has nice, comfy, giant chairs and a lounge. It also happens to have cheaper movie tickets, normally 7 but right now Tuesdays are 5. I sat down with the previews already rolling just barely making it in time to watch the movie and definitely with no time to enjoy the lounge.
Maybe I should preface this a bit. This movie is not some overly arty foreign film, nor is it a tear jerking romance. It is a story about a vampire. Now if you know anything at all about me you may know that I like reading and watching things about vampires. I just find them interesting. Having said that, this movie is like no other vampire movie I have ever seen. It is a love story and some may say, including Francicso at focoproject.com, it is a coming of age tale. Either way this movie was different and that was a good thing. As I seem to have committed to this movie review without intending too, I shall start this thing with no further delay.
Oskar is a blond haired 12 year old kid that is a constant victim of a few bullies at school. We see him take abuse from these guys almost immediately. Oskar's silence and meek demeanor are only really convincing if you manage to avoid his eyes. In his eyes he betrays his true desire to even the score but he doesn't. Instead he remains a passive victim for the bullies games. Because Oskar is not real wild about being the scapegoat, he spends his nights fake slicing those bullies, repeating the taunts he heard them use on him earlier in the day. In fact that is how we open the movie with him telling us to "squeal lke a pig." That same night a brunette girl moves in next door, Eli. He watches her as she gets out of her car before going back to his bully slicing practice (which consists of him waving his knife around and saying things about squealing). It may surprise you(wink wink) to know that our friend Oskar has no friends and spends a lot of time alone.
Eli of course is our vamoire. She has a guardian, he must be more then that but this idea is only hinted at. Anyway her guardian goes out and gets fresh blood for her but he is getting old and starting to be less capable of doing his job. He almost gets caught the first time we see him doing this. When he flees the scene without the blood, he leaves her to catch her own prey since her hunger is gnawing at her. This is when Eli meets Oskar. Within their first conversation she tells Oskar they can't be friends but a friendship develops anyway. He goes back inside planning to spend most of his time out in the snow so he can talk to her again. Meanwhile she goes out and ensnares a victim, not realizing she has a witness.
Eli, of course, is not a normal girl, although she appears to be Oskar's age she isn't. When asked her age she says "12.... more or less" and does not answer when Oskar asks what she means by "more or less." Luckily for her Oskar is a weird little boy. The pair that "can't be friends" do become friends. When Oskar realizes Eli is a vampire he does not seem shocked or horrified by it. Things continue to build and get slowly out of control but I am done telling you what happens. See it for yourself.
This movie has been dubbed by some as the "anti-Twilight" and I guess I can almost see where they are coming from. These kids have a definite connection and, as I said earlier, it is definitely a love story of sorts. I think they mean that Eli is a vampire but not an only animal eating vampire. She feasts on human blood, like every good vampire should. That being said the movie has some blood and violence. It also had a quick shot of the girl changing as Oskar peaks in on her, which left me feeling uncomfortable. Thankfully that only happened once. Either way I figured I would mention it so you would not be as surprised as I was. My friend Francisco mentioned it in his warnings as well but I read his review several days before and I simply forgot. This movie is not a slasher flick and is more intriguing and suspenseful then scary. It, however, might not appeal to all. If you read this far you might be a person who should see it.
Apparently this movie is so good they are remaking it. The recent trend in Hollywood seems to be: remake foreign horror flicks by recasting them with English speaking actors and eliminating subtitles. What happened to originality? If you have seen a horror movie in the last few years then you might have seen a remake. The Ring, The Eye and The Grudge are all examples of movies that were originally foreign films remade for the American audience. Why exactly do I need to see a remake of a film that was just made and so good that critics love it and American studios are fallng all over themselves to remake? Why not just see the original and read the subtitles? Don't wait for the remake.... see this one!
Maybe I should preface this a bit. This movie is not some overly arty foreign film, nor is it a tear jerking romance. It is a story about a vampire. Now if you know anything at all about me you may know that I like reading and watching things about vampires. I just find them interesting. Having said that, this movie is like no other vampire movie I have ever seen. It is a love story and some may say, including Francicso at focoproject.com, it is a coming of age tale. Either way this movie was different and that was a good thing. As I seem to have committed to this movie review without intending too, I shall start this thing with no further delay.
Oskar is a blond haired 12 year old kid that is a constant victim of a few bullies at school. We see him take abuse from these guys almost immediately. Oskar's silence and meek demeanor are only really convincing if you manage to avoid his eyes. In his eyes he betrays his true desire to even the score but he doesn't. Instead he remains a passive victim for the bullies games. Because Oskar is not real wild about being the scapegoat, he spends his nights fake slicing those bullies, repeating the taunts he heard them use on him earlier in the day. In fact that is how we open the movie with him telling us to "squeal lke a pig." That same night a brunette girl moves in next door, Eli. He watches her as she gets out of her car before going back to his bully slicing practice (which consists of him waving his knife around and saying things about squealing). It may surprise you(wink wink) to know that our friend Oskar has no friends and spends a lot of time alone.
Eli of course is our vamoire. She has a guardian, he must be more then that but this idea is only hinted at. Anyway her guardian goes out and gets fresh blood for her but he is getting old and starting to be less capable of doing his job. He almost gets caught the first time we see him doing this. When he flees the scene without the blood, he leaves her to catch her own prey since her hunger is gnawing at her. This is when Eli meets Oskar. Within their first conversation she tells Oskar they can't be friends but a friendship develops anyway. He goes back inside planning to spend most of his time out in the snow so he can talk to her again. Meanwhile she goes out and ensnares a victim, not realizing she has a witness.
Eli, of course, is not a normal girl, although she appears to be Oskar's age she isn't. When asked her age she says "12.... more or less" and does not answer when Oskar asks what she means by "more or less." Luckily for her Oskar is a weird little boy. The pair that "can't be friends" do become friends. When Oskar realizes Eli is a vampire he does not seem shocked or horrified by it. Things continue to build and get slowly out of control but I am done telling you what happens. See it for yourself.
This movie has been dubbed by some as the "anti-Twilight" and I guess I can almost see where they are coming from. These kids have a definite connection and, as I said earlier, it is definitely a love story of sorts. I think they mean that Eli is a vampire but not an only animal eating vampire. She feasts on human blood, like every good vampire should. That being said the movie has some blood and violence. It also had a quick shot of the girl changing as Oskar peaks in on her, which left me feeling uncomfortable. Thankfully that only happened once. Either way I figured I would mention it so you would not be as surprised as I was. My friend Francisco mentioned it in his warnings as well but I read his review several days before and I simply forgot. This movie is not a slasher flick and is more intriguing and suspenseful then scary. It, however, might not appeal to all. If you read this far you might be a person who should see it.
Apparently this movie is so good they are remaking it. The recent trend in Hollywood seems to be: remake foreign horror flicks by recasting them with English speaking actors and eliminating subtitles. What happened to originality? If you have seen a horror movie in the last few years then you might have seen a remake. The Ring, The Eye and The Grudge are all examples of movies that were originally foreign films remade for the American audience. Why exactly do I need to see a remake of a film that was just made and so good that critics love it and American studios are fallng all over themselves to remake? Why not just see the original and read the subtitles? Don't wait for the remake.... see this one!
Monday, January 19, 2009
A Rambling Review of Slumdog Millionaire
I had heard very little of this movie but I have to admit the title is intriguing. However I was not sold on the idea from what little I knew of the movie which was some poor kid in India wins big on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" I figured it would be about the struggles after he gets the money. I decided to take a pass and possibly rent it one day. Then I read a friend's blog. Now let me tell you about this friend, his name is Francisco and I have known him since my high school days. Recently we reconnected during my most recent visit to Phoenix. I learned a little about him and what he is up to these days over lunch. One of the things he does is teach a class as a community college that is an intro to film production. It sounded interesting and this guy knows his stuff. So I decided to check out his reviews of movies. I read a raving review of Slumdog Millionaire there and I moved the movie from my "to Rent" list on to my "see in the theater list". Francisco's blog is Focoproject.com and he has a lot of reviews there, please check it out. As I said before, I don't listen to critics but I listen to people I know. I am glad I listened, this movie is great. Without further ado, I bring you my review of Slumdog Millionaire.
I can't say that I know much about India besides the fact that I love their food. I know a little from watching Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations show. There are some pretty tough areas to grow up in India. That is where our hero, Jamal lives as a child with his mother and older brother Salim. In a little slum filled to the brim with people and every spare spot is filled by a shack of a home. That of course is not where we start, we start with Jamal being tortured. The police are interrogating him to find out how he knew all the answers of the Millionaire game show to prove that he cheated. As he is repeatedly questioned Jamal's life story is told as he explains how he knew all the answers to the questions. Every single question is linked to a memory of his life and most of them are not good memories. So we flash between his life and the interrogation as the story moves along, and it moves fast. We start back in the slum he grew up in while he talks about how he answered the first question, which, like in America, is a simple answer. It is a funny story abut getting an autograph from the most famous man in India but also a sad one as his brother steals it and sells it. We now have our roles set, Jamal is a dreamer that is also determined and his determination gets him through a lot of tough spots and Salim is the schemer and willing to do anything for a little money. Jamal believes in his brother all the way through the movie long past when you want him too. This is not simply a story about brothers though, it is a fated love story. Jamal and Latika belong together and he risks everything several times to make that happen. Latika is a girl he meets the same day his mother is killed in front of him as he and his brother run for safety. Every story he tells the officers about his life also tells how he came to know the answer of a question in the game show. His life story is heartbreaking, intense and enthralling. My friend Francisco says that director Danny Boyle takes you on a roller coaster ride and he certainly does. This film hits every emotion as it unfolds before your eyes. It is a great ride though and one you should check out soon.
Just a little info you may want to know. This movie is violent, brutal and at times scary. There is violence, child abuse, kidnapping and some real hard scenes to watch. Having come clean about this I implore you to see it anyway. Even though there are a lot of twists and turns in this movie, the true story of the importance of family and love comes through.
I can't say that I know much about India besides the fact that I love their food. I know a little from watching Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations show. There are some pretty tough areas to grow up in India. That is where our hero, Jamal lives as a child with his mother and older brother Salim. In a little slum filled to the brim with people and every spare spot is filled by a shack of a home. That of course is not where we start, we start with Jamal being tortured. The police are interrogating him to find out how he knew all the answers of the Millionaire game show to prove that he cheated. As he is repeatedly questioned Jamal's life story is told as he explains how he knew all the answers to the questions. Every single question is linked to a memory of his life and most of them are not good memories. So we flash between his life and the interrogation as the story moves along, and it moves fast. We start back in the slum he grew up in while he talks about how he answered the first question, which, like in America, is a simple answer. It is a funny story abut getting an autograph from the most famous man in India but also a sad one as his brother steals it and sells it. We now have our roles set, Jamal is a dreamer that is also determined and his determination gets him through a lot of tough spots and Salim is the schemer and willing to do anything for a little money. Jamal believes in his brother all the way through the movie long past when you want him too. This is not simply a story about brothers though, it is a fated love story. Jamal and Latika belong together and he risks everything several times to make that happen. Latika is a girl he meets the same day his mother is killed in front of him as he and his brother run for safety. Every story he tells the officers about his life also tells how he came to know the answer of a question in the game show. His life story is heartbreaking, intense and enthralling. My friend Francisco says that director Danny Boyle takes you on a roller coaster ride and he certainly does. This film hits every emotion as it unfolds before your eyes. It is a great ride though and one you should check out soon.
Just a little info you may want to know. This movie is violent, brutal and at times scary. There is violence, child abuse, kidnapping and some real hard scenes to watch. Having come clean about this I implore you to see it anyway. Even though there are a lot of twists and turns in this movie, the true story of the importance of family and love comes through.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Mochitsuki Festival
I volunteered at Mochitsuki today. It is the Japanese New Year and they had a lot of things going on. They had booths set up for local clubs: Anime, Go (a cool looking game), magnet schools, abacus schools, a spot to make cat ears and many more things. They also had food popping up all over the place. I ate sushi, Kalau pork and cabbage bento (Hawaiian), and shrimp tempura. Amazingly enough at Mochitsuki they had mochi. What is Mochi? It is a sweetened rice cake. Sticky rice is taken and pounded into a dough like consistency using a wooden mallet. Watching the demonstration of the traditional way to do it was pretty fascinating. It required skill and timing because as one person smacks away with a mallet another person flips the hot rice over. So they work as a team in perfect rhythm to avoid cracking skulls. When it is at the right consistency they start pinching off small pieces for people to try. They provided free samples and each sample had 3 choices of pairing; sweet bean paste, soy sauce or soybean powder. My favorite was the sweet bean paste.
Besides the various booths, food and mochi pounding demonstration they had local community groups putting on little shows. They had hula girls, a swing band, karate demonstrations, a Taiko demonstration (drumming) and other groups. They also put together a show you paid to watch that had taiko drumming, folk dance and a storyteller. The show was worth paying 12 bucks for. The drumming alone was worth it but the storyteller, Alton Chung, was great and added a great dimension. Alton Chung even taught me the word Onara....
Either way I helped with the community stage and also the clean up a little. At least, I was helping when I was not talking, eating and enjoying the performances. I will definitely put this on my calendar and hope to make it back next year.
Besides the various booths, food and mochi pounding demonstration they had local community groups putting on little shows. They had hula girls, a swing band, karate demonstrations, a Taiko demonstration (drumming) and other groups. They also put together a show you paid to watch that had taiko drumming, folk dance and a storyteller. The show was worth paying 12 bucks for. The drumming alone was worth it but the storyteller, Alton Chung, was great and added a great dimension. Alton Chung even taught me the word Onara....
Either way I helped with the community stage and also the clean up a little. At least, I was helping when I was not talking, eating and enjoying the performances. I will definitely put this on my calendar and hope to make it back next year.
People, Relationships and Serious Questions from 3rd Graders
As some of you have read, I have been looking for volunteer positions to help me get more experience in teaching. One of the things I have been doing to find these listings is to scour the Volunteer section of Craigslist. It is filled with some very interesting opportunities and a few ridiculous ones. Whenever I look there I think about how technology can help bring people together that might not ever connect. I had no real idea how to volunteer. I am not as comfortable walking in and asking if they need help as I am responding to a posted ad. I know from the ad that they are looking and usually before I respond I know if the days and times will be right for my schedule. It is fantastic. As a result of these posted requests I have set up two very different opportunities for myself and I am excited about starting them next week. So here I was feeling pretty good about the internet and the way it keeps me connected with people. You might not know this but I am not a huge fan of the phone. If it was not for the internet most of you would never hear from me. So in my "happy with the internet" state I decided to look around other parts of Craigslist. I was instantly reminded of the bad side. Amidst the good and honest postings are scammers. People that are preying on your fears and feasting on your ignorance. Now, to avoid a lawsuit or a defamation case, I will give credit to Craig and those that frequent his list. They do a good job of monitoring and pulling things that are sketchy. So this is not a rant about those evil scammers out there.
After some lengthy exploration I finished looking through the community, job and gig listings. I was not quite ready to go to bed as I have a large tankard of rum and coke I am wading through... So I decided to look at the romantic listings. I was amazed at the ineptitude of several of the posters. One woman who is seeking companionship starts off by saying "I was reading about all the dorks and..." Then she follows that up with "so freekin bored and thought i would let you guys know... some of y'all are dorks, but cute in their own way, so now i have made my own dork page." I don't know about you but I am looking for something to go beat down her door with, she sounds great! So here I am reading this post thinking "why would you post that?" What made you think insulting everyone right off the bat would help you meet people? As my thinking progressed I realized that maybe there is something wrong with society..... why are there so many singles out there? And why are most of the singles so inept at dating and/or meeting new people? Why does a new web dating service pop into existence every other week?
I figure that it was about the time I left college that I realized how hard it was to meet people as an adult. I made new friends at work and the fact that I was back in Phoenix among good long term friends helped a lot. I was hanging with old friends and had figured out how to make new friends as well. I had periods where I did not feel as connected or where I was not as interested in knowing my co-workers outside of work but I still had my core group. The problem was I didn't like Phoenix and I wanted out of there. So I moved and it has been an interesting task to make the friends I have up here. I have made several good friends but it wasn't as easy without the core group to fill in the gaps. Life can be lonely for a while when you are in a new town. When I look around and read the notes on Craigslist, OKCupid, and Singlesnet I see a common theme of disconnect and it does not always have anything to do with a new town. As I thought more about this common streak of loneliness I began thinking of things like the rather rude remark "Old Maid" or even the fact that Ichabod Crane of the Headless Horseman tale was a single male who taught and seems to have been regarded as a bit of an odd duck. Was it really so odd to be single later in life back then? What is different now? Is it the lack of a local community, parents and relatives living nearby and up in your business? Maybe it's because the new world means less actual human interaction. Sure I talk to people a lot through the day but I don't always connect with them. Perhaps people have learned to not be friendly and open. When you next travel through a day take a mental note of how you interact with people you don't know. Think things like, did I just pay for my gas or did I greet the attendant warmly and exchange pleasantries? What makes us so distant from people around us? Don't we all inhabit the same area? Why do most people pretend other people don't exist? Telling children about "stranger danger" may have helped bring about this general lack of warmth towards the unfamiliar faces around us but I know that message is taught for a real reason. Strangers can be dangerous, even those that promise candy, however don't we need to at least be pleasant to each other?
It occurs to me that most of this pontificating did not really originate out of my casual interest in Craigslist people. It hearkens back to a little girl from my class today and the conversation we had as she helped me clean up. We were talking about the projects we had been making in class, actually she is not in my class because she is in a music program but she has a strong desire to be in my class. She began the conversation by asking me how I became a Mad Scientist. I told her a version of the truth and she began a streak of questioning that would lead me to this post. She asked me if I built the Styrofoam planes with my kids and I told her I had none. She then asked if I built the Styrofoam planes with my wife and I once again admitted I had no such person in my life. She was quiet for a second as she was putting what I had told her into her classifying schema. I continued cleaning. After getting a grasp on the fact that I was an adult and not married, she wanted to know about what I was doing to rectify this situation. She looked me in the eye and asked "What if you met someone who thought you were cute and she made you happy, would that make you happy?" I answered the only sensible answer "Yes." Then she asked me with a straight face, "What if you met someone that you fell in love with and you got married tomorrow, would you want that?" Now it was my turn to pause (and stifle a giggle). No one has ever asked me a question like that before but I realized this girl was serious and I decided to take the question seriously. So I said "Well I would be surprised by something like that but I think sometimes it's good to listen to what your heart says." We had a longer conversation as she was enjoying talking to me and I was enjoying talking to her. Then her mother came and asked a bunch of questions about Mad Science birthday parties and when the next Mad Science class session started because she knew her daughter wished she could be in class. Somewhere in that conversation the one I had with the woman's 3rd grade daughter was put on the back burner. Where it waited to build strength and burst out in a long rambling post at 2 AM Saturday morning.
After some lengthy exploration I finished looking through the community, job and gig listings. I was not quite ready to go to bed as I have a large tankard of rum and coke I am wading through... So I decided to look at the romantic listings. I was amazed at the ineptitude of several of the posters. One woman who is seeking companionship starts off by saying "I was reading about all the dorks and..." Then she follows that up with "so freekin bored and thought i would let you guys know... some of y'all are dorks, but cute in their own way, so now i have made my own dork page." I don't know about you but I am looking for something to go beat down her door with, she sounds great! So here I am reading this post thinking "why would you post that?" What made you think insulting everyone right off the bat would help you meet people? As my thinking progressed I realized that maybe there is something wrong with society..... why are there so many singles out there? And why are most of the singles so inept at dating and/or meeting new people? Why does a new web dating service pop into existence every other week?
I figure that it was about the time I left college that I realized how hard it was to meet people as an adult. I made new friends at work and the fact that I was back in Phoenix among good long term friends helped a lot. I was hanging with old friends and had figured out how to make new friends as well. I had periods where I did not feel as connected or where I was not as interested in knowing my co-workers outside of work but I still had my core group. The problem was I didn't like Phoenix and I wanted out of there. So I moved and it has been an interesting task to make the friends I have up here. I have made several good friends but it wasn't as easy without the core group to fill in the gaps. Life can be lonely for a while when you are in a new town. When I look around and read the notes on Craigslist, OKCupid, and Singlesnet I see a common theme of disconnect and it does not always have anything to do with a new town. As I thought more about this common streak of loneliness I began thinking of things like the rather rude remark "Old Maid" or even the fact that Ichabod Crane of the Headless Horseman tale was a single male who taught and seems to have been regarded as a bit of an odd duck. Was it really so odd to be single later in life back then? What is different now? Is it the lack of a local community, parents and relatives living nearby and up in your business? Maybe it's because the new world means less actual human interaction. Sure I talk to people a lot through the day but I don't always connect with them. Perhaps people have learned to not be friendly and open. When you next travel through a day take a mental note of how you interact with people you don't know. Think things like, did I just pay for my gas or did I greet the attendant warmly and exchange pleasantries? What makes us so distant from people around us? Don't we all inhabit the same area? Why do most people pretend other people don't exist? Telling children about "stranger danger" may have helped bring about this general lack of warmth towards the unfamiliar faces around us but I know that message is taught for a real reason. Strangers can be dangerous, even those that promise candy, however don't we need to at least be pleasant to each other?
It occurs to me that most of this pontificating did not really originate out of my casual interest in Craigslist people. It hearkens back to a little girl from my class today and the conversation we had as she helped me clean up. We were talking about the projects we had been making in class, actually she is not in my class because she is in a music program but she has a strong desire to be in my class. She began the conversation by asking me how I became a Mad Scientist. I told her a version of the truth and she began a streak of questioning that would lead me to this post. She asked me if I built the Styrofoam planes with my kids and I told her I had none. She then asked if I built the Styrofoam planes with my wife and I once again admitted I had no such person in my life. She was quiet for a second as she was putting what I had told her into her classifying schema. I continued cleaning. After getting a grasp on the fact that I was an adult and not married, she wanted to know about what I was doing to rectify this situation. She looked me in the eye and asked "What if you met someone who thought you were cute and she made you happy, would that make you happy?" I answered the only sensible answer "Yes." Then she asked me with a straight face, "What if you met someone that you fell in love with and you got married tomorrow, would you want that?" Now it was my turn to pause (and stifle a giggle). No one has ever asked me a question like that before but I realized this girl was serious and I decided to take the question seriously. So I said "Well I would be surprised by something like that but I think sometimes it's good to listen to what your heart says." We had a longer conversation as she was enjoying talking to me and I was enjoying talking to her. Then her mother came and asked a bunch of questions about Mad Science birthday parties and when the next Mad Science class session started because she knew her daughter wished she could be in class. Somewhere in that conversation the one I had with the woman's 3rd grade daughter was put on the back burner. Where it waited to build strength and burst out in a long rambling post at 2 AM Saturday morning.
Monday, January 12, 2009
The latest and somewhat greatest!
A recent email to share.
I did not include the name of this emailer. I will give this person a name of my own creation The Anti-Whining Whiner or AWW. AWW you make some valid points. I have been whining a little bit lately and I have not posted any new writing. I wish I could say I am sorry but I have decided not to lie about it. I am not sorry, I can only post what I post. I have not written any new poems or short stories lately. It is hard to post something you don't have. AWW, don't take this personally, but I really wish you would stop being so whiny in your whiny emails. Actually take that personally.
Well this probably won't meet the ever whining AWW's approval but I recently finished Alice Sebold's latest novel, The Almost Moon. This is a story about a woman who grew up with a mentally ill mother. In the first few pages she kills her aging, decrepit, shut in of a mother and the rest of the story is split between thoughts of her life and what is happening now. This woman, her mother and her father needed counseling at the very least. Probably needed medication too. If you daydream about ways you can kill your mother... go to a shrink. Whatever you do Don't write a book about it. This book was terrible. I hated all the characters and I was hoping the world would end so I would not have to finish the book. The world, as you may have noticed, has not ended and I had to finish the book. My recommendation: Don't bother.
Other then that, I taught my first class last week and this week I will teach 3. I am also pursuing a few volunteering opportunities that I can add to my resume. I am meeting with someone tomorrow about tutoring high school students and on Wednesday I am meeting with someone to discuss teaching English to adults. I hope to set up one more thing to mentor HS students that are trying to get into college. I also volunteered to help with a Japanese festival called Mochitsuki, this Saturday. The other thing I am checking out is a volunteer opportunity with a group who are trying to put on a show about Portland music. I will let you know how all this works out.
Dear Crazed Lunatik,
I enjoy your blog most of the time but it seems lately all you ever do is whine. Please stop whining and share some more poetry or stories.
Sincerely,
I did not include the name of this emailer. I will give this person a name of my own creation The Anti-Whining Whiner or AWW. AWW you make some valid points. I have been whining a little bit lately and I have not posted any new writing. I wish I could say I am sorry but I have decided not to lie about it. I am not sorry, I can only post what I post. I have not written any new poems or short stories lately. It is hard to post something you don't have. AWW, don't take this personally, but I really wish you would stop being so whiny in your whiny emails. Actually take that personally.
Well this probably won't meet the ever whining AWW's approval but I recently finished Alice Sebold's latest novel, The Almost Moon. This is a story about a woman who grew up with a mentally ill mother. In the first few pages she kills her aging, decrepit, shut in of a mother and the rest of the story is split between thoughts of her life and what is happening now. This woman, her mother and her father needed counseling at the very least. Probably needed medication too. If you daydream about ways you can kill your mother... go to a shrink. Whatever you do Don't write a book about it. This book was terrible. I hated all the characters and I was hoping the world would end so I would not have to finish the book. The world, as you may have noticed, has not ended and I had to finish the book. My recommendation: Don't bother.
Other then that, I taught my first class last week and this week I will teach 3. I am also pursuing a few volunteering opportunities that I can add to my resume. I am meeting with someone tomorrow about tutoring high school students and on Wednesday I am meeting with someone to discuss teaching English to adults. I hope to set up one more thing to mentor HS students that are trying to get into college. I also volunteered to help with a Japanese festival called Mochitsuki, this Saturday. The other thing I am checking out is a volunteer opportunity with a group who are trying to put on a show about Portland music. I will let you know how all this works out.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Photo rant
I hate printing my photographs.... There I finally said it. It's true. It seems so simple and easy but the reality of the situation is what looks good on your computer rarely looks good printed.
This is what happens... I take a big ol' bunch of pictures and I select the few that actually managed to go from my head to the little digital point and click. We are not always in total agreement and as a result it often decides not listen to me. It takes a picture focusing on the thing I had no intention of photographing and blurs out the thing I spent time lining up. Of course I realize my non-digital slr camera would not have this issue and would be a better choice but it's expensive to buy film, develop film and have pictures you haven't seen yet developed. As a result I tend to go digital and often times growl at my camera while I attempt to capture my subject appropriately. The other day my camera magically produced an image with nothing in focus... it was unbelievable. The problem was I had actually brought out a tripod.... so it wasn't due to my shaky hand. So I am generally stuck with simple subjects that the camera and I can both see the ideal subject clearly. We make beautiful photos together when I keep it simple (stupid?). Unfortunately, I am not really the ideal point and click guy.... I see great shots that have a little difficulty to them and I work to pull them off. I get excited when they work out and foolishly try to get the camera to understand what I want in an even more difficult shot... I never learn.
So there I am with 300 shots... and perhaps I am lucky and I can use half of them. The problem that arises next is that I tried different angles of a subject and have several shots from those different angles that work. Now I try to identify a couple shots that are superior. Suddenly I am now at a quarter of the original shots and I have to run through again. Nobody likes a 75 picture slide show. Out of those 75 I select around 30 some odd pictures and I clean them up and make them look good on the computer. I produce a slide show and people tell me the shots they liked. Then Christmas rolls around and I think... I have picture frames and a lot of fantastic pictures so I should give photos out this year.
After deciding which prints for whom, I order prints... but the prints come back looking awful. I immediately begin to tinker so I can reorder these prints and the colors are still goofy. I am stuck at that point because I can't really afford to just order more and more prints until I finally get the colors corrected. So I took all these photos and worked on them for hours only to have an issue with the prints. If I had a film camera and a darkroom I could just develop and tinker until it came out the way I dream it should.... but I don't. I have a digital camera and a computer. I could produce images on my own except that the ink cartridges get sucked dry super quickly when you do that and ink cartridges cost a mint. So I am back to printing at the store and waiting.... then tinkering and printing again. This sucks! So if all you got was a card this year.....
Either way it's a new year. 2009. Woo or something.
This is what happens... I take a big ol' bunch of pictures and I select the few that actually managed to go from my head to the little digital point and click. We are not always in total agreement and as a result it often decides not listen to me. It takes a picture focusing on the thing I had no intention of photographing and blurs out the thing I spent time lining up. Of course I realize my non-digital slr camera would not have this issue and would be a better choice but it's expensive to buy film, develop film and have pictures you haven't seen yet developed. As a result I tend to go digital and often times growl at my camera while I attempt to capture my subject appropriately. The other day my camera magically produced an image with nothing in focus... it was unbelievable. The problem was I had actually brought out a tripod.... so it wasn't due to my shaky hand. So I am generally stuck with simple subjects that the camera and I can both see the ideal subject clearly. We make beautiful photos together when I keep it simple (stupid?). Unfortunately, I am not really the ideal point and click guy.... I see great shots that have a little difficulty to them and I work to pull them off. I get excited when they work out and foolishly try to get the camera to understand what I want in an even more difficult shot... I never learn.
So there I am with 300 shots... and perhaps I am lucky and I can use half of them. The problem that arises next is that I tried different angles of a subject and have several shots from those different angles that work. Now I try to identify a couple shots that are superior. Suddenly I am now at a quarter of the original shots and I have to run through again. Nobody likes a 75 picture slide show. Out of those 75 I select around 30 some odd pictures and I clean them up and make them look good on the computer. I produce a slide show and people tell me the shots they liked. Then Christmas rolls around and I think... I have picture frames and a lot of fantastic pictures so I should give photos out this year.
After deciding which prints for whom, I order prints... but the prints come back looking awful. I immediately begin to tinker so I can reorder these prints and the colors are still goofy. I am stuck at that point because I can't really afford to just order more and more prints until I finally get the colors corrected. So I took all these photos and worked on them for hours only to have an issue with the prints. If I had a film camera and a darkroom I could just develop and tinker until it came out the way I dream it should.... but I don't. I have a digital camera and a computer. I could produce images on my own except that the ink cartridges get sucked dry super quickly when you do that and ink cartridges cost a mint. So I am back to printing at the store and waiting.... then tinkering and printing again. This sucks! So if all you got was a card this year.....
Either way it's a new year. 2009. Woo or something.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Portland Snow Pictures
I have put together a new slide show of my snowy days pictures.
The other way to see the pictures with more control: http://www.flickr.com/photos/crazedlunatik/sets/72157611855597281/show/
The other way to see the pictures with more control: http://www.flickr.com/photos/crazedlunatik/sets/72157611855597281/show/
Friday, December 26, 2008
2 Rambling Reviews - Hamlet 2 and Yes Man
It was the day after Christmas and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring not even a louse.
Asleep in his bed a little past noon,
when he got up, dust bunnies he did moon.
Stumbling to the chair, there arose such a clatter
but when living alone it really does not matter.
Finally, in the early afternoon, motivation did hit
and he decided he needed to do something besides sit.
Showered and shaved he greeted the day,
Joyous was he until he saw cause for dismay.
The car, it sat surrounded by snow,
severely limiting where he might go!
Out of the house was what he had swore,
so he grabbed another jacket and locked his door.
On foot he trodded toward the mall
where swarmed a lot of people, some really tall.
Claustrophobia, the fear of tight space, sprang to his mind
he felt the urge to punch, so as not to be confined!
He left the mall with feet all a flutter,
running through an overflowing gutter.
His shoes now soaked he thought of home
but strong was his urge to continue to roam.
To the theater he soon set his sight,
to watch whatever, whenever, he might!
That is more or less how I ended up at the movie theater a few minutes before Yes Man was about to begin. I wish I could tell you I planned to see this movie but I didn't. I literally had only one choice for a movie starting then. It's not that I had planned to skip this movie or anything but the plan was to see it with beer, either at home or at the beer theaters. Either way I needed to be out of the house today and even with wet soggy feet I decided to pull the trigger and see the movie.
Yes Man stars Jim Carrey, the jerk fiance from Wedding Crashers (Bradley Cooper) and the zombie looking chick from The Happening (Zooey Deschanel). Jim Carrey plays Carl a man who is hiding from the world after his break up with his wife (Molly Sims). He nearly alienates his best friend Peter (Bradley Cooper) when he fails to show for his bachelor party. Carl decides to go to a seminar called "Yes is the new no" and makes a covenant with himself and the author to say yes to everything. For whatever reason he follows this to the 'T' and for a while everything is going great. He meets a great girl (Zooey), makes new friends, and gets promoted. Then things go to heck in a hand basket. The girl he likes is mad and won't take his calls, his job ends up making him fire people, the authorities think he's a terrorist and his ex-wife wants him back and he is not interested anymore. What is a guy to do?
Well, lets start off with Zooey Deschanel. This girl is cute and she seems to have a few more facial expressions besides the one demonstrated in The Happening (THANK GOODNESS!!!!). So I actually enjoyed her in this, the scene where she is singing in her band is great because the lyrics are fantastic and zany. Anyway she looked cute in this movie, she had a personality in this movie and I fell in love with her. I do need to say that we still see a lot of the deer in the headlights look from her as this seems to be a natural look she makes.... Oh well. Jim Carrey is getting older but he was bouncing off the screen and doing his usual rubber man stuff. Yet this role was pretty understated for him and the film never seemed to really generate the kind of laughs I used to get from a Jim Carrey film. It was almost like he was trying to grow up a little on us but knew we wanted to see his crazy antics. I enjoyed the movie and I laughed quite a bit while watching it but in the end it still left me a little remniscent for the good ol' Ace Ventura days. Some bonuses... Hyde from that 70's show is in it, General Zod from Superman II is in it, and the ever cute Kate from NCIS is in it (my favorite character names are used instead of their real names, you must find the actors behind them).
When I got home I was relieved to be out of my wet socks but I had the urge to watch something else. I had rented Hamlet 2 on Christmas but had not seen it yet. So I started dinner, made some phone calls and settled in for a viewing of something I expected to be terrible.
I had seen the previews and decided to wait until it made it to video. Nothing had impressed me about it but the "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" song had seem naughty enough to give this movie a try. Then I forgot all about it. Luckily I have visited the video store a lot lately and I always know when a new release has arrived. Anyway I ended up renting it but not having a desire to see it right away. I still had some Paniponi Dash! episodes to watch. So when I got home from Yes Man I just popped the thing in. The movie hooked me with one well placed line "So we must ask, where do dreams go to die?" and then they open on a desert town and they pan to a sign that says "Welcome to Tucson". HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love when people make fun of Tucson, AZ and this film does so in spades. It does it so much that they were denied the priviledge of filming there and ended up filming in Albuquerque, NM.
The movie is about a failed actor turned drama teacher (Steve Coogan) who is not doing so well at this gig either. He has a frustrated wife (Catherine Keener) and he has a bunch of kids who took drama because the school cut the budget and eliminated their preferred choices. He takes this unexpected development as a chance to live out the "Inspiring Teacher" role portrayed in movies like Dangerous Minds or Dead Poets Society. He is a retard but the class seems to enjoy watching him to see exactly what is coming next. Then he is told his drama department will be cut after the semester ends. He is destroyed but after a pep talk from the play critic of the high school newspaper (who looked like he was in junior high), he decides to produce his own creation Hamlet 2. Somehow he gets the kids involved in this horrible looking play, manages to get the town and school upset and the support of the ACLU(Amy Poehler plays a feisty ACLU lady). All kinds of obstacles get in his way his wife leaves him with the roommate they got to pay the rent (David Arquette), he finds out he is sterile and she is pregnant with the roomie's baby, he loses his job, he is assaulted and threatened, he gives up on sobriety but somehow the students pull it all together and they perform the play. The parts of the play you actually see are offensive and hillarious at the same time. The "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" song was fantastically silly. One of the best parts was Elisabeth Shue plays herself but as an Elisabeth Shue who gave up on Hollywood to be a nurse and the only thing she misses is not being able to make out with people. This movie is stupid, offensive and somehow funny. I enjoyed it. Director and co-writer Andrew Fleming said (in the DVD extras), "I believe this film will appeal to my friends, mentally unstable people, people out for some cheap laughs and drunkards."
not a creature was stirring not even a louse.
Asleep in his bed a little past noon,
when he got up, dust bunnies he did moon.
Stumbling to the chair, there arose such a clatter
but when living alone it really does not matter.
Finally, in the early afternoon, motivation did hit
and he decided he needed to do something besides sit.
Showered and shaved he greeted the day,
Joyous was he until he saw cause for dismay.
The car, it sat surrounded by snow,
severely limiting where he might go!
Out of the house was what he had swore,
so he grabbed another jacket and locked his door.
On foot he trodded toward the mall
where swarmed a lot of people, some really tall.
Claustrophobia, the fear of tight space, sprang to his mind
he felt the urge to punch, so as not to be confined!
He left the mall with feet all a flutter,
running through an overflowing gutter.
His shoes now soaked he thought of home
but strong was his urge to continue to roam.
To the theater he soon set his sight,
to watch whatever, whenever, he might!
That is more or less how I ended up at the movie theater a few minutes before Yes Man was about to begin. I wish I could tell you I planned to see this movie but I didn't. I literally had only one choice for a movie starting then. It's not that I had planned to skip this movie or anything but the plan was to see it with beer, either at home or at the beer theaters. Either way I needed to be out of the house today and even with wet soggy feet I decided to pull the trigger and see the movie.
Yes Man stars Jim Carrey, the jerk fiance from Wedding Crashers (Bradley Cooper) and the zombie looking chick from The Happening (Zooey Deschanel). Jim Carrey plays Carl a man who is hiding from the world after his break up with his wife (Molly Sims). He nearly alienates his best friend Peter (Bradley Cooper) when he fails to show for his bachelor party. Carl decides to go to a seminar called "Yes is the new no" and makes a covenant with himself and the author to say yes to everything. For whatever reason he follows this to the 'T' and for a while everything is going great. He meets a great girl (Zooey), makes new friends, and gets promoted. Then things go to heck in a hand basket. The girl he likes is mad and won't take his calls, his job ends up making him fire people, the authorities think he's a terrorist and his ex-wife wants him back and he is not interested anymore. What is a guy to do?
Well, lets start off with Zooey Deschanel. This girl is cute and she seems to have a few more facial expressions besides the one demonstrated in The Happening (THANK GOODNESS!!!!). So I actually enjoyed her in this, the scene where she is singing in her band is great because the lyrics are fantastic and zany. Anyway she looked cute in this movie, she had a personality in this movie and I fell in love with her. I do need to say that we still see a lot of the deer in the headlights look from her as this seems to be a natural look she makes.... Oh well. Jim Carrey is getting older but he was bouncing off the screen and doing his usual rubber man stuff. Yet this role was pretty understated for him and the film never seemed to really generate the kind of laughs I used to get from a Jim Carrey film. It was almost like he was trying to grow up a little on us but knew we wanted to see his crazy antics. I enjoyed the movie and I laughed quite a bit while watching it but in the end it still left me a little remniscent for the good ol' Ace Ventura days. Some bonuses... Hyde from that 70's show is in it, General Zod from Superman II is in it, and the ever cute Kate from NCIS is in it (my favorite character names are used instead of their real names, you must find the actors behind them).
When I got home I was relieved to be out of my wet socks but I had the urge to watch something else. I had rented Hamlet 2 on Christmas but had not seen it yet. So I started dinner, made some phone calls and settled in for a viewing of something I expected to be terrible.
I had seen the previews and decided to wait until it made it to video. Nothing had impressed me about it but the "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" song had seem naughty enough to give this movie a try. Then I forgot all about it. Luckily I have visited the video store a lot lately and I always know when a new release has arrived. Anyway I ended up renting it but not having a desire to see it right away. I still had some Paniponi Dash! episodes to watch. So when I got home from Yes Man I just popped the thing in. The movie hooked me with one well placed line "So we must ask, where do dreams go to die?" and then they open on a desert town and they pan to a sign that says "Welcome to Tucson". HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love when people make fun of Tucson, AZ and this film does so in spades. It does it so much that they were denied the priviledge of filming there and ended up filming in Albuquerque, NM.
The movie is about a failed actor turned drama teacher (Steve Coogan) who is not doing so well at this gig either. He has a frustrated wife (Catherine Keener) and he has a bunch of kids who took drama because the school cut the budget and eliminated their preferred choices. He takes this unexpected development as a chance to live out the "Inspiring Teacher" role portrayed in movies like Dangerous Minds or Dead Poets Society. He is a retard but the class seems to enjoy watching him to see exactly what is coming next. Then he is told his drama department will be cut after the semester ends. He is destroyed but after a pep talk from the play critic of the high school newspaper (who looked like he was in junior high), he decides to produce his own creation Hamlet 2. Somehow he gets the kids involved in this horrible looking play, manages to get the town and school upset and the support of the ACLU(Amy Poehler plays a feisty ACLU lady). All kinds of obstacles get in his way his wife leaves him with the roommate they got to pay the rent (David Arquette), he finds out he is sterile and she is pregnant with the roomie's baby, he loses his job, he is assaulted and threatened, he gives up on sobriety but somehow the students pull it all together and they perform the play. The parts of the play you actually see are offensive and hillarious at the same time. The "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" song was fantastically silly. One of the best parts was Elisabeth Shue plays herself but as an Elisabeth Shue who gave up on Hollywood to be a nurse and the only thing she misses is not being able to make out with people. This movie is stupid, offensive and somehow funny. I enjoyed it. Director and co-writer Andrew Fleming said (in the DVD extras), "I believe this film will appeal to my friends, mentally unstable people, people out for some cheap laughs and drunkards."
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas!
I hope you are all where you want to be this Christmas Day. I am at home in slippers and pajamas typing away. Unfortunately I am not at my aunt's house today due to the snow lingering too long. So for the first time ever, I am having a white Christmas! Don't worry my Aunt and Uncle and I will all have our Christmas dinner another day. A little Christmas story for you all.
Joey awoke early and bounded down the stairs. The whole house was dark except for the lights on the Christmas tree. The presents were calling his name but he knew he had to wait. His parents had forbade him from waking them up before 7 AM and it was 4:30 AM. He had some time to kill.... His stocking was stuffed with interesting looking stuff and his desire to dig in and see what was what burned brightly inside him. He dared not step any closer because he knew his desire would be his undoing. He went in to the kitchen and decided to have breakfast. He grabbed a bowl, a spoon, a box of Cap'n Crunch's Peanut Butter Crunch, and the gallon of milk. That gallon sure was heavy as it was nearly full. He would have to concentrate to avoid any spills! He was being so good he thought. He had not woken anyone up, he had not ripped open any presents and he had not even looked in his stocking. Surely someone this good deserved a piece of Christmas Fudge! He grabbed the biggest piece he saw and began nibbling on it as he poured his cereal. The fudge was so good he wanted another piece but he decided he had to wait. He grabbed the milk jug with both hands and slowly tipped it so only a trickle came out. When he had enough milk he put the cap on and lugged it back to the refrigerator. He sat down and ate his cereal.
When he was finished he looked at the clock, he was sure it was close to 7 by now. It was only 4:52..... How could it only be 4:52? It was impossible that time moved this slow. As he rinsed the spoon and bowl and placed them in the dishwasher he realized that he really was being exceptionally good. Someone who was this good deserved an almond cluster! He selected the biggest piece and grabbed a napkin. He went out to the TV room and turned it on, surely their had to be some cartoons on. He flipped through all the stations and found only one. It was Clifford the Big Red Dog on PBS..... he hated the cartoons on PBS. They were so boring! He decided to find his Spongebob Christmas disc after he finished his almond cluster. It was so good he gobbled it too fast. No one would mind him having one more while he watched Spongebob. He grabbed the dvd, the next biggest almond cluster, and a glass of water and sat back down in front of the TV. He made himself eat the cluster slowly so he could get all the goodness out of it that was possible. He was finished before the previews were done.... and he wanted more. He knew that getting too much more chocolate would get him in trouble so he decided on popcorn. He went back to the kitchen and selected Kettle corn. He decided he needed a soda to go with the popcorn and he selected sprite (his only other option was diet so it was not much of a choice). He returned to the TV room and hit play to get Spongebob started.
He was not sure what was going on but he couldn't sit still. Even Spongebob was not compelling enough to keep his attention. He went back to the kitchen and had a few cookies and some milk. He was pretty full at this point. He decided he should use the treadmill while he watched TV like his mom did. He went back to the TV room and grabbed the remote and started Spongebob again. He got on the treadmill and started it up. He had to turn the TV up though and realized he was probably being too loud. He got back off the treadmill and turned the TV down. He ran to his room to get some toys. He grabbed his tub of action figures and ran down stairs. He realized that he needed to grab some vehicles for these guys and ran back upstairs and grabbed a few jeeps. Then he began setting them all around the room in strategic places and having them drive around in jeeps. They were all fighting each other and he was having a grand old time when he started to feel really tired. He grabbed a pillow and decided to watch the rest of Spongebob....
His parents had woken up a few time as he ran up and down the stairs and when the treadmill had been going. They were determined to stay in bed until 7 AM, even if they weren't sleeping. They had set the time and they were determined to stick to their rules. They sat there staring at the clock, how on earth could time take this long? It was only 5:45 at this point. They both settled on reading a book since they had no intention of officially getting up and neither could sleep any longer. Mom grabbed a mystery and dad a sci fi book and they enjoyed some quiet time with their books. When their alarm went off they were amazed that their son had not made much more noise since the marathon running session up and down the stairs. They went downstairs and found him asleep in the TV room next to a bowl of popcorn and a bunch of toys. The Spongebob video was still going though. They slipped out and decided to get some coffee going. Mom noticed a few pieces of candy missing and a bunch of cookies eaten but really not too bad considering he had been alone for hours. He probably had crashed out after the sugar shock wore off. They had enough time to have a leisurely breakfast of oatmeal and toast before they decided to wake their son to get on with Christmas.
He was a little confused when they woke him up and they had to remind him it was Christmas but once he remembered he ran to the living room and began looking through the contents of his stocking. They opened presents and took photos and had a grand ol' time! Soon the doorbell rang and it was other relatives and the gift giving started over again. Soon the adults were enjoying more coffee and chatter while the kids raced around the TV room with their sparkly new toys. Then the adults got to work on dinner while the kids built forts and played war with their toys. Occasionally one child would slip in to the kitchen and slip out with candy. The adults soon realized what was happening and put the delicious treats away in an effort to get them to eat something at Christmas dinner. When it was time to eat the table was filled with food. A huge Christmas ham, cranberry relish, marshmallow topped yams, a bowl of olives (that the children immediately began putting on their fingers), a variety of pickles from sweet to dill, veggies and dip, rolls, mashed potatoes, Waldorf salad, and other delicious holiday delights. It was a grand feast and everyone sat around in a food coma as the food was replaced and desert was put out. Everybody claimed to be too full to eat anything but as soon as the first piece of pie was on a plate everyone else gave in and followed suit. Over all it was a great Christmas and when it came time to go home they found their children asleep in the giant pillow fort and they snapped a picture.
Hope you enjoyed the little story. You guys have been really good.... so go ahead have a huge piece of Christmas fudge!
Joey awoke early and bounded down the stairs. The whole house was dark except for the lights on the Christmas tree. The presents were calling his name but he knew he had to wait. His parents had forbade him from waking them up before 7 AM and it was 4:30 AM. He had some time to kill.... His stocking was stuffed with interesting looking stuff and his desire to dig in and see what was what burned brightly inside him. He dared not step any closer because he knew his desire would be his undoing. He went in to the kitchen and decided to have breakfast. He grabbed a bowl, a spoon, a box of Cap'n Crunch's Peanut Butter Crunch, and the gallon of milk. That gallon sure was heavy as it was nearly full. He would have to concentrate to avoid any spills! He was being so good he thought. He had not woken anyone up, he had not ripped open any presents and he had not even looked in his stocking. Surely someone this good deserved a piece of Christmas Fudge! He grabbed the biggest piece he saw and began nibbling on it as he poured his cereal. The fudge was so good he wanted another piece but he decided he had to wait. He grabbed the milk jug with both hands and slowly tipped it so only a trickle came out. When he had enough milk he put the cap on and lugged it back to the refrigerator. He sat down and ate his cereal.
When he was finished he looked at the clock, he was sure it was close to 7 by now. It was only 4:52..... How could it only be 4:52? It was impossible that time moved this slow. As he rinsed the spoon and bowl and placed them in the dishwasher he realized that he really was being exceptionally good. Someone who was this good deserved an almond cluster! He selected the biggest piece and grabbed a napkin. He went out to the TV room and turned it on, surely their had to be some cartoons on. He flipped through all the stations and found only one. It was Clifford the Big Red Dog on PBS..... he hated the cartoons on PBS. They were so boring! He decided to find his Spongebob Christmas disc after he finished his almond cluster. It was so good he gobbled it too fast. No one would mind him having one more while he watched Spongebob. He grabbed the dvd, the next biggest almond cluster, and a glass of water and sat back down in front of the TV. He made himself eat the cluster slowly so he could get all the goodness out of it that was possible. He was finished before the previews were done.... and he wanted more. He knew that getting too much more chocolate would get him in trouble so he decided on popcorn. He went back to the kitchen and selected Kettle corn. He decided he needed a soda to go with the popcorn and he selected sprite (his only other option was diet so it was not much of a choice). He returned to the TV room and hit play to get Spongebob started.
He was not sure what was going on but he couldn't sit still. Even Spongebob was not compelling enough to keep his attention. He went back to the kitchen and had a few cookies and some milk. He was pretty full at this point. He decided he should use the treadmill while he watched TV like his mom did. He went back to the TV room and grabbed the remote and started Spongebob again. He got on the treadmill and started it up. He had to turn the TV up though and realized he was probably being too loud. He got back off the treadmill and turned the TV down. He ran to his room to get some toys. He grabbed his tub of action figures and ran down stairs. He realized that he needed to grab some vehicles for these guys and ran back upstairs and grabbed a few jeeps. Then he began setting them all around the room in strategic places and having them drive around in jeeps. They were all fighting each other and he was having a grand old time when he started to feel really tired. He grabbed a pillow and decided to watch the rest of Spongebob....
His parents had woken up a few time as he ran up and down the stairs and when the treadmill had been going. They were determined to stay in bed until 7 AM, even if they weren't sleeping. They had set the time and they were determined to stick to their rules. They sat there staring at the clock, how on earth could time take this long? It was only 5:45 at this point. They both settled on reading a book since they had no intention of officially getting up and neither could sleep any longer. Mom grabbed a mystery and dad a sci fi book and they enjoyed some quiet time with their books. When their alarm went off they were amazed that their son had not made much more noise since the marathon running session up and down the stairs. They went downstairs and found him asleep in the TV room next to a bowl of popcorn and a bunch of toys. The Spongebob video was still going though. They slipped out and decided to get some coffee going. Mom noticed a few pieces of candy missing and a bunch of cookies eaten but really not too bad considering he had been alone for hours. He probably had crashed out after the sugar shock wore off. They had enough time to have a leisurely breakfast of oatmeal and toast before they decided to wake their son to get on with Christmas.
He was a little confused when they woke him up and they had to remind him it was Christmas but once he remembered he ran to the living room and began looking through the contents of his stocking. They opened presents and took photos and had a grand ol' time! Soon the doorbell rang and it was other relatives and the gift giving started over again. Soon the adults were enjoying more coffee and chatter while the kids raced around the TV room with their sparkly new toys. Then the adults got to work on dinner while the kids built forts and played war with their toys. Occasionally one child would slip in to the kitchen and slip out with candy. The adults soon realized what was happening and put the delicious treats away in an effort to get them to eat something at Christmas dinner. When it was time to eat the table was filled with food. A huge Christmas ham, cranberry relish, marshmallow topped yams, a bowl of olives (that the children immediately began putting on their fingers), a variety of pickles from sweet to dill, veggies and dip, rolls, mashed potatoes, Waldorf salad, and other delicious holiday delights. It was a grand feast and everyone sat around in a food coma as the food was replaced and desert was put out. Everybody claimed to be too full to eat anything but as soon as the first piece of pie was on a plate everyone else gave in and followed suit. Over all it was a great Christmas and when it came time to go home they found their children asleep in the giant pillow fort and they snapped a picture.
Hope you enjoyed the little story. You guys have been really good.... so go ahead have a huge piece of Christmas fudge!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
The cards are enroute!
I have sent off the last batch of Christmas cards! Which of course means some of you will get them after Christmas.... sorry. I sent out a lot of cards this year and a lot of the cards are just plain strange. Even stranger then my normal strange. So you might get the card and think "WTF?" Hahaha
Once again... if you do not get a card it's because I had no address. So.... waaah!
I wanted to do a few mini-reviews here.
Twilight - I liked this movie. Was it cinematic excellence? No. I am not sure if this would be enjoyable if you aren't already a fan of the series. Just being a fan does not guarantee you will like it either... I had a few friends tell me they hated it. I think all the bad and honest critiques I heard as a result of my diatribe about letting girls have their movie really helped. I had such low expectations that the movie could only be better... :) Anyway if you can get past the fact that Edward looks constipated (and can't act his way out of a paper bag), Alice is not in the movie enough, Emmett isn't big enough, Carlisle was miscast, and the vampires sparkle like they fell into a vat of glitter when they are in the sunlight you might have a chance of liking this movie. Kristen Stewart, the girl who played Bella, is very cute and probably the best actor of the bunch. I felt she needed some love since Robert Pattinson, Edward, is getting all the love (even though he looked constipated and couldn't act the girls were all hooked, my niece says she doesn't care because he is handsome).
The House Bunny - This movie is stupid! So I laughed a lot. I can't say this was an original idea for a movie but it was pretty funny and Anna Faris is pretty goood at being incredibly stupid. Anna plays Shelley, a Bunny who dreams of being a centerfold. Unfortunately, her Bunny expiration date (she turns 27) arrives and she is booted. She ends up working with a misfit sorority to turn them into popular girls. If you like stupid flicks there is a chance you will like this flick.
Havoc - I have a mini-crush on Anne Hathaway and made a big deal about the fact she was fully clothed in Get Smart. So my friend, Nancy, texted the name of this movie to me. Anne sheds her top several times. Thanks Nancy. Unfortunately the movie was barely watchable even with all the toplessness.... It'a about a bunch of white kids who whine about their life while trying to be black, even though they are spoiled rich kids with every opportunity available to them. Anne's character gets enamored with a Mexican drug dealer and all heck breaks loose... Seriously! She gets topless in the stupidest movie ever!
Kung Fu Panda - I didn't want to see ths movie in the theaters because the preview was terrible. I kept hearing from little tiny people that it was good so I rented it. I have to say this was pretty good. The graphics were amazing and the story was funny and cute. If you like kid flicks you might like is one. A panda dreams of being a kung fu master and finally ends up becoming one.
American Zombie - Strange. This was a fake documentary film about real life zombies. The zombies are high functioning and they keep interviewing them. One of the documentors is obsessed by the idea of finding out about flesh eating habits and other horror cliches. Of course none of the zombies answer that question... It was pretty entertaining but probably will only appeal to zombie fans.
Horton Hears a Who - Wasn't bad but wasn't great. Seemed fairly faithful to the original story but longer. Kids will probably like this.
Spartan - This is about some politicians daughter disappearing. It was watchable but not high on my list of recommendations.None of the characters are all that engaging.
X-Files: I Want to Believe - Wow.... this movie was stupid! I was never a big fan of the show, so I am not sure why I felt compelled to see it. I guess I felt it had to be at least entertaining... it wasn't. I don't even know what to tell you about this movie because it was just such a waste of time.
John Tucker Must Die - Not a bad teen flck. Amusing. Not great but watchable. John Tucker is the most popular boy in school who also likes to date 3 girls at one time. They find out about it and are super mad of course. They plot revenge and he is pretty good at turning all the bad into good. So they send in a new and unnoticed girl to break his heart.
Funny Games - They kept breaking the 4th wall! Meaning these homicidal kids kept talking to you, trying to make you an accomplice. I ended up doing homework with this in the background. It was a bad movie about horrible people. Take a flying pass on this one!
Leatherheads - Despite having Renee Zellweger (I don't like her) in this movie this was not a bad movie. Pretty darn fun. George Clooney is an aging football star when no one cares about football. Due to lack of fan support he ends up looking for work... unfortunately he is not any good at anything besides football. He lures the # 1 college player into the game and ends up revitalizing the interest of the public. Unfortunately, his brilliance is also his undoing as he begins taking a backseat.
Katt Williams: The Pimp Chronicles Vol. 1 - This little dude is a crack up. I was laughing really hard through out this stand up act. As a warning: he is no holds barred and might be offensive to your delicate sensibilities.
Once again... if you do not get a card it's because I had no address. So.... waaah!
I wanted to do a few mini-reviews here.
Twilight - I liked this movie. Was it cinematic excellence? No. I am not sure if this would be enjoyable if you aren't already a fan of the series. Just being a fan does not guarantee you will like it either... I had a few friends tell me they hated it. I think all the bad and honest critiques I heard as a result of my diatribe about letting girls have their movie really helped. I had such low expectations that the movie could only be better... :) Anyway if you can get past the fact that Edward looks constipated (and can't act his way out of a paper bag), Alice is not in the movie enough, Emmett isn't big enough, Carlisle was miscast, and the vampires sparkle like they fell into a vat of glitter when they are in the sunlight you might have a chance of liking this movie. Kristen Stewart, the girl who played Bella, is very cute and probably the best actor of the bunch. I felt she needed some love since Robert Pattinson, Edward, is getting all the love (even though he looked constipated and couldn't act the girls were all hooked, my niece says she doesn't care because he is handsome).
The House Bunny - This movie is stupid! So I laughed a lot. I can't say this was an original idea for a movie but it was pretty funny and Anna Faris is pretty goood at being incredibly stupid. Anna plays Shelley, a Bunny who dreams of being a centerfold. Unfortunately, her Bunny expiration date (she turns 27) arrives and she is booted. She ends up working with a misfit sorority to turn them into popular girls. If you like stupid flicks there is a chance you will like this flick.
Havoc - I have a mini-crush on Anne Hathaway and made a big deal about the fact she was fully clothed in Get Smart. So my friend, Nancy, texted the name of this movie to me. Anne sheds her top several times. Thanks Nancy. Unfortunately the movie was barely watchable even with all the toplessness.... It'a about a bunch of white kids who whine about their life while trying to be black, even though they are spoiled rich kids with every opportunity available to them. Anne's character gets enamored with a Mexican drug dealer and all heck breaks loose... Seriously! She gets topless in the stupidest movie ever!
Kung Fu Panda - I didn't want to see ths movie in the theaters because the preview was terrible. I kept hearing from little tiny people that it was good so I rented it. I have to say this was pretty good. The graphics were amazing and the story was funny and cute. If you like kid flicks you might like is one. A panda dreams of being a kung fu master and finally ends up becoming one.
American Zombie - Strange. This was a fake documentary film about real life zombies. The zombies are high functioning and they keep interviewing them. One of the documentors is obsessed by the idea of finding out about flesh eating habits and other horror cliches. Of course none of the zombies answer that question... It was pretty entertaining but probably will only appeal to zombie fans.
Horton Hears a Who - Wasn't bad but wasn't great. Seemed fairly faithful to the original story but longer. Kids will probably like this.
Spartan - This is about some politicians daughter disappearing. It was watchable but not high on my list of recommendations.None of the characters are all that engaging.
X-Files: I Want to Believe - Wow.... this movie was stupid! I was never a big fan of the show, so I am not sure why I felt compelled to see it. I guess I felt it had to be at least entertaining... it wasn't. I don't even know what to tell you about this movie because it was just such a waste of time.
John Tucker Must Die - Not a bad teen flck. Amusing. Not great but watchable. John Tucker is the most popular boy in school who also likes to date 3 girls at one time. They find out about it and are super mad of course. They plot revenge and he is pretty good at turning all the bad into good. So they send in a new and unnoticed girl to break his heart.
Funny Games - They kept breaking the 4th wall! Meaning these homicidal kids kept talking to you, trying to make you an accomplice. I ended up doing homework with this in the background. It was a bad movie about horrible people. Take a flying pass on this one!
Leatherheads - Despite having Renee Zellweger (I don't like her) in this movie this was not a bad movie. Pretty darn fun. George Clooney is an aging football star when no one cares about football. Due to lack of fan support he ends up looking for work... unfortunately he is not any good at anything besides football. He lures the # 1 college player into the game and ends up revitalizing the interest of the public. Unfortunately, his brilliance is also his undoing as he begins taking a backseat.
Katt Williams: The Pimp Chronicles Vol. 1 - This little dude is a crack up. I was laughing really hard through out this stand up act. As a warning: he is no holds barred and might be offensive to your delicate sensibilities.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Christmas Cards!!
Here is the thing, I send out Christmas cards and I have a fun time making up silly stories to put in them. I want to send you a Christmas card but I can't. I NEED your address! Send your mailing address to crazedlunatik@gmail.com so that my card can find a good home.
In case you are on the fence about getting card from me let me share a few of the topics I have written about this year. Enraged rabbits taking over the world, a monkey construction company in the making, conversation with a ferret, a twist on the lottery scam letter and a Nigerian scam letter. Here is the Nigerian Scam letter for your enjoyment:
See what fun that was? The cards get zanier as I go, get your limited edition Christmas card today! No card is exactly the same, all are spontaneously written and contain hardly any facts or reality. There will be no silly recitation of this year's events! Simply made up stories to bring you Christmas cheer!
EMAIL ME YOUR MAILING ADDRESS!!!!! crazedlunatik@gmail.com
In case you are on the fence about getting card from me let me share a few of the topics I have written about this year. Enraged rabbits taking over the world, a monkey construction company in the making, conversation with a ferret, a twist on the lottery scam letter and a Nigerian scam letter. Here is the Nigerian Scam letter for your enjoyment:
This letter may come as a shock to you as we have never met. I am Mutubu Gumubo of the Nigerian National Bank. Last year, a fellow by the name of Michael Williams was in Nigeria working for the Nigerian Oil Conservance Coalition when he was murdered in the streets. We have looked high and low for his family and relatives but have found no one. Upon further study of Mr. Williams's past, we found your name as a former co-worker of his. By way of a totally and completely legitimate Nigerian law this connection is enough for you to inherit all he had. The paperwork has already begun we just need your response to complete the process.
Unlike most Americans working abroad, Mr. Williams did not die with a lot of money or assets. What he died with was a wallet containing one US dollar and over 700 billion dollars in debt. Please contact us soon to set up a payment schedule.
Yours truly,
Mutubu Gumubo
Debt Collector
Nigerian National Bank
See what fun that was? The cards get zanier as I go, get your limited edition Christmas card today! No card is exactly the same, all are spontaneously written and contain hardly any facts or reality. There will be no silly recitation of this year's events! Simply made up stories to bring you Christmas cheer!
EMAIL ME YOUR MAILING ADDRESS!!!!! crazedlunatik@gmail.com
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