Thursday, October 25, 2007

My Tips for A Successful Blog

I have been looking around at people's blogs a lot lately.... I like to see their designs and what they prattle on about and I have noticed a trend. Some of the worst looking, most boring blogs feel it necessary to share how to be successful at blogging. I figured, since they suck at blogging themselves and I actually find my blog to be very entertaining, I should write how I have gathered my legion of 2 or 3 hard core fans. So here it is: My blog about blogging blog stuff good.

1. Your blog is yours.
You have to realize first and foremost any a-hole with access to a computer can blog. Case in point... me. So you are not unique and you have not reinvented toast. You are the one that ultimately has to be satisfied with what is on your blog since you will read it a few times just to make sure it is post-able. If you're anything like me you will occasionally revisit some of your old posts that were freaking classics and laugh at them for their sheer awesomeness.

2. Content is important.
Some people say focus your blog so you can be "THE" blogger people turn too for info on whatever stupid topic you are "THE" blogger of. That probably works for really incredibly boring people very well. I am sure it is a great strategy if you want to be the guy that makes the stupid cat pictures that make me laugh at 3 am when I am sleep deprived. Or if you want to be all 'News' oriented. I don't read these blogs... I am sure they are very well done or whatever, but news? Really? Can you be any more lame? I tend to write about things that catch my fancy. Like stupid cops or bad laundry users or whatever. Once again the key to content is ultimately you like what you have at your blog. Maybe Bobby Jo in Tuscaloosa does too but do you really freaking care? I mean who names their kid Bobby Jo? What grown individual doesn't just say enough I want to be called Bobby or Joe but not freaking both!

3. Variety Is awesomeness!
Sometimes when you feel you should blog but you really don't have anything to write or express it helps to find some stupid video from the 90's where a guy raps about copyright laws.... then pretend like people really should watch it because you watched it for 30 seconds and laughed.

4. Mockery is the closest thing to godliness.
Sometimes you should blog just to make fun of people; like the Portland police, other bloggers or old people. It helps you feel happy and gives a few people a laugh and one of those few people is you and hell I know a good laugh would do you some good you silly sour puss!

5. Ego is as ego does.
I have no idea what that means and neither did the people who made Forrest Gump say the same thing about stupidness. It means nothing. It's brilliant! Just like you should feel about your own blog about nothing. It's how I feel about my blog about nothing.

Now that you know my secrets go into the world and multiply.... but read my blog daily. It keeps your heart healthy and stuff! And buy my blog stuff at It has a calendar for you to put on your wall..... and it has cool pictures of things that are not about nothing! Yay!


Anonymous said...


Mockery is bliss. Also, advertisements for stuff that is not your own; rather random bot stuff that happens to flash on your blog.


Michael Williams said...


I like responding back to the bots... it entertains me. Unless of course they post like crazy sex sites or crap I don't like. I had some random blog bot comment on my blog that they wanted to hug me or something in some other language and I repleid to it after translating it and then I posted a comment of irrelevance on their blog...