Sunday, November 23, 2008


Hey all!

What a week! I want to thank my mom for all her help with my lesson plans. I think they definitely were lifted up a notch because of your guidance. I am looking forward to a homework free week! YAY!!

I absolutely can't wait until I am down in Phoenix hanging with the other half of my peeps. I hope everyone has a good week and a good Thanksgiving if I fail to see you this holiday.


P.S. It is holiday season and I love sending Christmas cards out, those that have recieved them in the past have enjoyed some fantastic lies and falsehoods about my year. I would love to SEND YOU a FREE Christmas card. I am asking for an address only, no need to reciprocate with a card back. Email me your address at and you will make the list!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Misrepresenation is a dish best served cold!

FIRST: I know misrepresenation is not a word and that the closest word to it should be spelled misrepresentation. I am not trying to talk about misrepresentation; I am speaking of Misrepresenation, the nation. Read further to see what I am on about...

SECOND: This is the 2nd part of a 2 part rant.... they kind of interlink. Kind of.... The first part is called "Procrastination across the nation! Misrepresenation that is!"

Back to the critics. I was reading the early reviews of Twilight. Let's clarify something here... I read this book and liked it. I read the other 3 in the series and they were OK but the first was good. I read the other 3 mainly due to the hook Stephenie Meyer ensared me with during my voracious reading of the first book. Going in I knew this was aimed at teen girls..... so when it delivered a silly and dreamy romance, I was neither upset nor surprised. This book is not pretending to be R-Rated.... the two characters don't even "make love" until they get freaking married in the 4th book! Of course after they get married and Bella becomes all vampy they are at it like rabbits! Knowing this was a book not geared toward me helped me realize what to expect, and I enjoyed the experience. My dad did not enjoy his reading adventure with this series but that was because I was hooked and kept rambling about how good it was and set super high expectations. It was like a drug, until about a month after I read the final book I just couldn't stop talking about it; sorry pop. I enjoyed it and I freely admit that (without shame even). I, of course, have moved on and fully endorse these other teen genre books:

The House of Night series - Another teen vamp book but a little edgier and with a different slant, the world has vampires and all vampires pop out of ordinary teens when they turn 16, blood exchanges not necessary. The 5th book is being released next year and I can't wait.

13 Reasons Why - This book has quite an interesting concept. It deals with a male survivor of another person's suicide (a person that he had a huge crush on). He receives 7 tapes after she kills herself, 13 recorded sides, explaining why she killed herself. This is the only non-series book on this list.

Generation Dead - Dead teenagers are coming back to life and instead of craving brains they are craving acceptance and a place in society. I signed on to follow this author's blog as I am eagerly awaiting the sequel and happened to also enjoy his blog

I got a little distracted..... OK, my point was Twilight is really aimed at teen girls. It has plenty of adult fans, two of my last teachers (including my current teacher) love the books and we talked about them in depth. However, the bread and butter is a decade or two younger then I am. That is also who the movie is aimed at. So what is with all this silly bashing of the movie because it is aimed at teenage girls? So freaking what!? They don't get a movie aimed at them? Only dorky comic book fans (I am one of these people too) can get a movie? And now some quotes I shall mock:

"I’m sure this love story seems profound to young readers with only a vague understanding of the vampire myth, but anyone with even a basic understanding of the plot of Dracula knows that forbidden vampire love is a pretty damn conventional part of the genre that really offers nothing new." - Charles Varrick for

Hmm.... Nothing new. I guess besides a vampire book not filled with blood, insane violence, lacking a super evil vamp guy hungry for a ladie's virtue, and something that is completely aimed at teen girls. TOTALLY UNORIGINAL! Yes, please bring on the same ol' blood, violence and cliched bad vampire story.

"Twilight" will mesmerize its target audience, 16-year-old girls and their grandmothers. Their mothers know all too much about boys like this. I saw it at a sneak preview. Last time I saw a movie in that same theater, the audience welcomed it as an opportunity to catch up on gossip, texting, and laughing at private jokes. This time the audience was rapt with attention. Sometimes a soft chuckle, as when the principal Indian boy has well-developed incisors. Sometimes a soft sigh. Afterwards, I eavesdropped on some conversations. A few were saying, "He's so hot!" More floated in a sweet dreaminess. Edward seemed to stir their surrender instincts. - Roger Ebert; Chicago Sun-Times (pick a name you dyslexic paper!),

What is with the hate man? His whole article basically bashes the young ladies for being naive enough to fall in love with a movie about mismatched and ill-fated love. Yeah, screw you too Willy Shakespeare! I guess he only likes movies with cross-dressers, boring plots, senseless violence, and random nudity (like: The Valley of the Dolls).

Bad Article Titles:
'Twilight' barely gets the blood flowing - Claudia Puig; USA Today (yeah bubblegum light of the entire newspaper industry is mocking something for not being deep....)
Twilight lacks bite - Edmonton Sun (I am looking for a page 3 girl, it looks like the London rag with the topless ladies),
Dear diary: My guardian angel is a vampire! - James Sanford (not a bad review just a silly and funny title) Kalamazoo Gazette
'Twilight' fans stake hearts on vampire romance - Karina Bland; Arizona Republic

Please! Pretty Please! Pretty, pretty, pretty please (with sugar on top) more cliches! Not only do the cliche's abound in the reviews' titles most of the reviews are filled with them. Sad!

My pet peeve is not that they did not like the movie. That is fine, dislike the movie, hate the acting, mock the crappy special effects and wish it had been better. My pet peeve is when they senselessly bash a whole segment of people. So a gaggle of young girls are rushing to this movie and swooning over the dude playing Edward Cullen (the chalky faced lad who is the vampire partner of Bella), where is the harm? Why make fun of them simply because they liked it and your OLD ASS didn't? I think the other problem is a lot of people didn't bother themselves with details like: it is a bubblegum vampire love story for young girls! The story should not be a silly little overlooked fact! Instead of spending 5 minutes googling the book and realizing what it is and who it's for, let's spend the entire review mad that the movie was exactly what the books are. BUY A CLUE! Spend a few minutes familiarizing yourself with the story. YOU GET PAID TO REVIEW MOVIES PUT IN SOME FREAKING EFFORT!!!
(HEY! My ignorance of Beowulf is not the issue people, unless you start paying for my reviews. Don't go off on tangents, only I can do that. If you insist on going off on tangents start your own pointless blog!)

Just so you know not all the reviews of this movie are bad, a lot are pretty positive and seem to get what the movie is and who it is for.

CASE IN POINT: This guy is actually funny and does a seemingly more fair review of the movie. He notes the intended audience, some of the drawbacks and even the good points. Here is a quote of a warning he includes to parents and all those who show up not possesing that ever elusive clue:
-- Advisory: This movie contains some violence and sensuality. This material also attracts packs of girls with extremely high-pitched voices, who will scream every time their favorite character comes onscreen. Bring earplugs, or sit at least six rows away from anyone female between the ages of 12 and 15. - Peter Hartlaub; San Francisco Chronicle;

Like sitting away from the girls will help.....

Apparently the town in the novel exists

This guy had the funniest review of them all. I am assuming he was deliberately misinterpreting the point of the story to enrage the fans. He did a good job. Anyway he compares Twilight to the Twilight Zone and pretends (I hope) that he does not know they have nothing to do with each other.
"Twilight" has to be one of the worst adaptations of a television show that has ever been produced. It simply fails to capture the magic of the old television series. From 1959 to 1964, one of the most inventive shows ever broadcast, "The Twilight Zone," thrilled television audiences. Co-written and hosted by Rod Serling, it was an amazing series and one whose 148 individual installments viewers continue to enjoy today. Now comes along this new version with the shortened title "Twilight." They should have chosen a different title: "The Twilight Crap." - Ronald Birkow; Dateline Hollywood,

A sample of the extremely enraged fans:
Are you stupid or just living in a cave???? This movie has NOTHING TO DO with the Twilight Zone! Its not supposed to!

It is based on the series of four novels by Stephenie Meyer, one the increasingly heralded authors of our time. It is a phenomenon in America and across the world and you somehow have seen the movie already and think that it is supposed to be coming from the Twilight Zone????

You are a poor excuse for a journalist, and frankly, a disappointment and failure as a writer. Do some background research and maybe get a job at McDonalds since it looks like you fail as a journalist. - Katelyn

umm.... i think you need to get FIRED due to your LACK of research as a journalist!!! I would be EMBARRASSED if i were you to print up a review without even knowing what the movie was based on and quite frankly a bit scared due to the phenomenal FANBASE this movie has that is going to TEAR you up for this misrepresenation of a best-selling book!!!! LOL - tina

I can't help it. Excuse me, tina, first of all let's start with your name the "t" should be a "T" and the "i" used in reference to yourself should be "I". Holy run-on: "I would be EMBARRASSED if i were you to print up a review without even knowing what the movie was based on and quite frankly a bit scared due to the phenomenal FANBASE this movie has that is going to TEAR you up for this misrepresenation of a best-selling book!!!!" I love it! Misrepresenation? Is that near Mexico, I did not know there was a nation called Misrepresenation. And finally: Contrary to popular belief, LOL, is not a word.

OK I think this dual-post is complete....... for now. Don't worry I wrote a sentence or two for my lesson plans while writing this monster.

P.S. Do not get all huffy about me mocking that girl's post. I happen to love run-on sentences and use them a lot in my blogging. If you need proof, read these two entries again.

P.P.S. If someone could assist me... I am trying to book a flight to Misrepresenation... I can't seem to find it listed at Southwest Airlines or Orbitz...

Procrastination across the nation! Misrepresenation that is!

FIRST: I know misrepresenation is not a word and that the closest word to it should be spelled misrepresentation. I am not trying to talk about misrepresentation; I am speaking of Misrepresenation, the nation. Read "Misrepresenation is a dish best served cold!" to see what I am on about...

SECOND: This is the first part of the two post rant.

I feel like I am becoming predictable..... every time I am avoiding homework I write a blog entry. The last week of my reading class has an intense level of homework and so I am really not wanting to do it. I feel like kicking someone but I know assault charges would ony hinder my current career goals so instead I am writing 2 very large blog entries. I talked to my friend, a few hours ago, about the various stresses this week's pile o'homework has caused and the fact that she and I both practice the fine art of procrastination. Now, we always get everything done with a pretty decent grade on all the papers, reports and lesson plans we have to produce but we spend a few hours at the end of the week whining to each other over the phone about the homework that we find ourselves mired in. While commiserating our current situation, she happened to mention a Spongebob episode where he has to write a paper and keeps allowing everything become a distraction; feeding Gary, watching Gary eat to insure no choking, cleaning his room and all sorts of things. We laughed about it because it is a mirror image of what we go through each week, not that we plan to make any changes. Just so you know, I am starting 2 days earlier than normal because of the staggering pile I have in front of me. So, yes, this blog entry is an avoidance of homework and I hope that does not offend any of the "Don't put off 'til tomorrow..." crowd.

In an effort to make my homework go smoother, I went to the library to grab the book I am attempting to create 3 more lesson plans about. Of course it wasn't there (or in any of the other branches as all these stupid little kids are reading it at home, completely ruining the reason children's books are written! Which of course is so that stupid people in education programs can make crappy lessons about these cute books and ruin them completely for every child in America if the lesson ever gets used in a real classroom). But I am not one to waste a trip to the library. So I wandered the aisles and found a book about Living Dead CSI.... totally and completely vital information for me to read! I also found three movies that I had been sort of wanting to see, kind of. Million Dollar Baby (I hate Hillary Swank, I have no reason for it but I do. The reason I read it was it has been recommended to me a lot. I am positive it will suck but at least I don't have to pay for it!), Rescue Dawn (I have no idea either), and Beowulf. So now I will direct some pent up homework ire at Beowulf.

A Mini Rambling Review of Beowulf

OK, two things you should know.
1. I have no idea what this was rated or if anyone saw it.
2. I know absolutely nothing about Beowulf.

Now lets examine these two points... It is rare that I pay attention to other people's reviews of movies unless I personally know that individual. Roger Ebert is absolutely unreliable, have you seen the movie that bears his name The Valley of the Dolls? Crap. Leonard Maltin.... I would never listen to a guy that looks or talks like that. The other reviewers (critics) are not even people I know the name of so we won't break down why they are no nothing poop heads (I wanted to sound smart with that last put down, did it work?). If someone I know tells me something I will listen, even when it is my dad telling me all the reviewers (yes, the ones I don't listen to) panned whatever movie I am excited about. I'll get back to these silly reviewers shenanigans in a moment...

That brings us back to Beowulf. Who? And I should care because? Here is the thing with "classics" they are usually written in a way that a 70 page story requires a 400 page book to explain all the details in order for you to understand the story. It is difficult to read and totally an unrewarding practice, as someone will come along and make a terrible movie out of it eventually. Although, after some conversations with my niece I am reading The Inferno and enjoying it. I burst into tears of laughter when I tried to read aloud and hit a bit a spot of trouble saying "Though thou art". To my credit, I had read nearly an entire Cano by the time that combination of words derailed me into a fit of giggles. Anyway as far as Beowulf goes I did not know he existed until shortly before the movie came out and then I saw the twerp everywhere.

The movie. If you saw the ads you may remember it looked pretty realistic for a computer generated movie which is why I was interested. While watching the movie I saw that they spent so much time on the close up face shots that they forgot that the characters should also move smoothly, they look like poorly animated robots. Angelina Jolie's character was the smoothest and best rendered character but both you and I know that this is because some pervy computer geek painstakingly detailed every pixel as carefully and lovingly as possible.

Then the vocalization of Beowulf.... talk about a lot of yelling that is barely understandable. "IAMBAYOWUL" Yeah.... thanks but keep your day job. The vocalization of Beowulf made me hate him the minute he appeared on screen and then the whole fighting Grendel naked thing? Really cgi rendered man butt? I could have done with a loin cloth at least, thank you very much.

The story? Some king has his village attacked by some deformed dude named Grendel. He lets it be known that any heroes that come and kill this deformed dude will be given them half his kingdom's gold. Like the next day Beowulf is there... but apparently it is actually a while later, yet they give no indication of how long or how many wannabe heroes are bested before he arrives on their shore. Either way he comes in bragging about how he is pimp of the century or some such crap. They (he and his men) drink a lot and he hits on the queen. Then he gets naked to go to sleep and await this Grendel dude. Of course Grendel comes, gets his deformed ear drum burst (yuck!), and his arm ripped off (by a naked dude that has speech problems). Somehow, he dies but not until he comes back to his mommy (Angelina Jolie). We find out the king fathered this monstrosity after being seduced by Angelina... how can you blame him? Anyway she is super mad and decides to strike back and lures Beowulf to her place where she seduces him within 5 seconds.... Talk about a fine moral fiber and courageous dude. Anyway when he gets back he lies and says she is dead, the king knows he is lying. He decides to hand his kingdom to Beowulf and then commits suicide (I said I don't know already).

Years later: Beowulf is a crabby whiny king with no soul. A dragon attacks his kingdom, the dragon is his son he made with Angelina (why his son is not malformed I don't know, stop asking). So he has to kill the dragon... and what about Angelina? She is left alive to seduce again. Anyway in the aftermath of the silly battle, Beowulf's right hand man refuses to listen to Beowulf's deathbed confession. His right hadnd man becomes king (I can only assume Beowulf only fathered the demon dragon dude) and we are left with the possibility that Angelina is seducing the new king....

So what I learned about Beowulf is that he was a fraud, liar and coward. Fantastic.... skip this movie!

See "Misrepresenation is a dish best served cold!" for the continued rant that takes on critics....

Monday, November 17, 2008

What a week!

I am glad that week is over. I had some fantastic times and some grueling completely irritating times. With the end of last week, the worst classes I have ever taken, since my undergraduate degree, also ended, the class on Adolescent Development. Before I get all weepy and celebratory I want to dwell on the good things.

I have a friend named Edie who I used to work with at the evil insurance company. She also writes a blog, Displaced Brooklynite - It has not been updated since President-Elect Obama was elected but we shall forgive her non-writing ways since I have a tendency to fall off the radar as well. Anyway we had tried to meet up at the Wordstock event but had failed miserably and we resolved to meet for a cup of coffee and a lively discussion of her trip to France. What happened in reality was a day long event of shopping, eating and drinking. We had a good time and I visited some places I would never have walked into on my own. Some of those were women's clothing stores but another was a little eatery downtown and a nice little bar. Anyway we had a great time.

That was a great escape from reality, which was a group paper and presentation on why a junior high school should become a middle school for the Adolescent Development class. And another lesson plan for my Reading class. Apparently becoming a middle school is more then a mere name change, there is meaning behind the words; it was probably the most boring topic in the history of the world. Once again something that had nothing to do with learning to become a teacher was what we were tasked with for an assignment. How knowing the difference between a middle school and a junior high school will help me teach is beyond me. I figure either one will work for me as long as they pay me. This assignment was bad but not as bad as pretending to Be Erickson and assess our own adolescent experiences in the context of his theory. My attempt was comical at best.

Anyway I got home after that long day of lighting up the town and I was exhausted. So within an hour of getting home I was in bed. Unfortunately sleep was elusive that night and kept slipping through my fingers. I ended up tossing and turning and managed 4 hours of sleep before I gave up and went out to the living room and watched a movie and surfed the net. I stumbled across a web exclusive show called Gemini Division and was instantly intrigued. It is at and they have 60+ episodes already. It is set in the future and is sci-fi in nature. It has some recognizable actors in it and it seems to be set in front of a green screen. Some graphics are better then others. Anyway I watched that until it was time to go to court.

No.... I didn't do anything bad. I was there to serve Jury Duty and I was allowed to sit in a room and drift in and out of consciousness from 8 AM until about 2:30 PM. That was when my name was called and I went in to a room for jury selection. I am too dang nice or honest looking because I was picked to serve on the jury. It was a criminal case and it was a complete and total mess. The case would end up bleeding over into Thursday and tie up a day and a half. The complete incompetence of the two attorneys and the strangeness of the case were amazing. We ended up only convicting the defendent of one count and not the other. If you want to know more about the case just post a comment and I will go into detail... of course with names altered to protect those involved.

As a result of the sleep deprivation and being on a trial that kept me occupied for a day and a half no homework was done Wednesday and only one slide was made for the presentation by the end of Thursday. Part of my reluctance to do the assignment came directly from apathy. I did not care about this topic nor had I bothered to understand it. Friday was spent doing everything but homework and I was at Barnes and Noble when my friend Cat called to ask me some questions about the assignments facing us. She reminded me that we had to go out the next night (after class) to celebrate slaying the demon that was this class. So I went home and got busy. I wrote a snippet for the paper and turned my one slide and couple paragraphs in for the assignment. I had essentially done the minimum on an assignmentand felt a little guilty but I got over it. Then I began hammering out the assignment for my reading class. This class has been kicking my butt. Well both have been but this class especially. I was working on the third lesson plan, the first two had not went over that well, and I was hoping that the third one was the charm. I am still up in the air about how well it was received but this week I need to make 2 more and clean up the mistakes in the first three and turn them in as an integrated unit. It is ridiculous.

Anyway we went to class Saturday and did our presentation and went through our dog and pony show. I pretended I cared and got involved in the discussion because the first class we had with this teacher had resulted in no participation points for me. My problem stemmed from not having ever fantasized what my future classroom would look like one day and so I had nothing to add and so she felt it necessary to grill me on the topic. I came up with some stupid ideas but since she had to call on me and I had not volunteered I got low participation points. So I decided to talk a lot in class but I still did not get full participation points. How irritating! I have a few choice words for her but I will not share them here. Anyway we muddled through the class, all 5 of us, yes there were only 5 people taking the class and we all hated it. Then as Cat and I were discussing where to eat while leaving another classmate mentioned he was stranded until 5:30 and it was only 3:30. He had been dropped off by his wife and had been sure the class would run the entire class time because the teacher had said as much. Even though she had only one presentation to watch and nothing really to discuss, she managed to drag the class on for 2 hours when in reality it was 50 minutes of material tops. Anyway we had him hop in the car and he, Cat and I had some nosh at McCormick and Schmick. They have a happy hour with fantastic prices as the non-happy hour prices are out of my ball park. After much belly aching about the class and laughter was had we dropped him off and parted company. Cat and I ended up hanging out later that night and our 4 stop tour included Pambiche, which is a fantastic Cuban restaurant. A place everyone should experience. It was a good time.

So a weird and fun week came to a close.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Heckler - A Rambling Review

I was walking through the local video store, when I should have been writing a paper or two for school, and something caught my eye. It wasn't the first time this particular video had caught my eye and I knew I had to rent it. (No, it had no naked ladies on the cover promising to do inappropriate things) You simply can't walk past a movie over and over again, stop to read the back, think "Man that looks interesting" and not take it home eventually. So I rented it....

It should have been interesting. The cover was interesting, the people that took part in it were all famous and successful people..... so what went wrong? Nothing. It was a good flick. The movie is called Heckler and it was made by Jamie Kennedy in response to being heckled during live shows and some seriously brutal reviews. Jamie Kennedy has had a crazy backlash after movies like Malibu's Most Wanted and Son of the Mask. I have seen Malibu's Most Wanted and the movie is completely retarded but it is supposed to be. It works for what it is, a ridiculous naive rich white kid attempts to "keep it real" while spending time in the "ghetto". You don't walk away enlightened but what is wrong with you if you expected to? I have not seen Son of the Mask... so I have no opinion about it. I didn't even know that there was a movie called Son of the Mask. I am getting off track a bit..... and you probably thought "A Rambling Review" was just a clever name and not an apt title. So, without further ado, I give you my review of HECKLER!

The movie starts by displaying the word heckler and supplies a definition.

Heckler (noun) one who tries to embarrass, harass and/or annoy someone speaking or performing in public with gibes, questions and objections. Someone who provokes to affect a performer in a critical or negative way.

It starts off showing an example of Jaime getting heckled and then interjects comedians, movie stars, directors and sports stars being interviewed about their take on hecklers. They continue to go from interviews and splices of people getting heckled and their responses to those people. They have David Cross, Joe Rogan, Louie Anderson, Paul F. Tompkins, Vince August (who has a scene with a fantastic come back to someone heckling him as he completely rips the rug from under her feet), Lewis Black, David Alan Grier, Dave Attell, Jon Lovitz, Bill Maher, Craig Ferguson, Paul Rodriguez, Mike Ditka, Andrew "Dice" Clay and a lot more. It is a documentary of how people who entertain you feel about the abuse you dish out to them while they are doing their jobs. The comments they make in the interviews combined with the clips of these comedians handling the hecklers are absolutely fantastic. I was laughing hard and the harder they came at these hecklers the more I laughed. They have a clip of Bill Hicks going absolutely crazy when a woman yells "You suck!" at him. He is so mad that he just keeps verbally bashing her but the entire time it was hysterical. Brilliant.

They then kick it up a level by having Jaime talk to some of his hecklers and hear what they have to say. The scenes are slightly uncomfortable but that is what is pretty amazing about it. He sits there and listens and asks for more detail... Who does that? It was brutally fantastic.

Then they move on to critics. This is where I found out that Jamie Kennedy made a movie called Son of the Mask. I knew people had universally panned Malibu's Most Wanted but they do that to all movies that are like it. Critics don't seem to like silly, funny movies. They like art films and movies that have "meaning". Or at least that is what I get from reading critics' reviews. I stopped reading critics' reviews before seeing a movie because that guy/gal does not know me enough to make a recommendation for me.... and I like to see it, possibly review it and then find out what others said.


Yes, you are right I critique movies from time to time. So this is about me too isn't it? I guess the simple answer is yes. For every movie I have told you to go see I have definitely ripped one apart. Just take a look at last month where I tore apart The Happening. So how can I sit here and judge these other critics? How can I pretend that I am any better then they are? Well let's get this straight right now. I am a critic and so is every other person on the planet. The only difference is some people feel the need to publish their critiques and some people actually get paid for what they publish. I fall into the first category, occasionally I either see a movie I liked or disliked enough to write about. I would even say I have tended to write more about movies I disliked then movies I liked because they are more fun to write about. It is great to make fun of the dialog or the silly plot. It is even stupendously entertaining to make fun of horrible acting or to pretend like you knew what the director was thinking when they lost their mind and made that movie. Here is the other thing about those reviews.... people like them because people like to get a laugh or two themselves. I don't feel guilty that I reviewed a film and was rough on it nor that I was rough on those involved in the making of the film. It is what it is. When you make a movie and get people to pay you to see it you have to expect they will say what they think. I think in reality people do expect people to say how they feel about movies, actors, comedians, musicians, athletes but that their message in this movie is "Hey we are human too. I have feelings and they are no less delicate then yours." Fair enough.

For those that are curious I listened to the running commentary of the movie as well. What that says is that I really liked this movie, I never listen to commentary. The point for me to bring up listening to the commentary is they make some great points in the movie and then even more directly in the commentary. Not all movies are made to be measured on the same scale. Jaime Kennedy talks about Spy Kids vs. There Will Be Blood, two completely different movies and genres, why exactly would the same reviewer be used for both movies. It would make more sense to get a review of Spy Kids from a kid and perhaps their parent. Who knows if a kid movie hits the bulls eye on the target better then a kid? Add a parent to round out the recommendation for parents or adults who are thinking of seeing it. The point I took from this was have the reviewer be a genuine fan or the right market for the movie. Jon Lovitz talks about the movie Benchwarmers, which took a beating in the press. If you were the right market (adolescents), it delivered all the farts and nose picking you come to expect in a fine movie. Now, it might sound like I am saying we should pick people that will like the movies to do reviews of the movies..... but I'm not. We should pick people who might actually know what a good movie in that genre should be like. Grab the overly literary guy/gal to review Cold Mountain, There Will Be Blood and The Red Balloon. Then grab the guy/gal who still laughs when they fart to see a movie like Benchwarmers.

Then I learned I am completely damned for doing my criticism in a blog on the internet. I am such a bastard. The internet and all of us reviewers are scum. Here is the thing.... I am over it. I am going to continue to critique films and occasionally I am going to make fun of people that made the movie or appeared in it. I figure it this way... I write these reviews and publish them publicly and you can say whatever you want to me, about me or my writing. I don't delete any comment unless I wrote it myself and I realized I misspelled half the words because I did not read it before submitting it. You are also free to say whatever you want about my writing skills or lack of them on my creative pieces. I put it out there and you have the right to say whatever crosses your mind about it. Film, comedy, music, art, writing that is mass produced is going to be critiqued and occasionally a little fun will be poked at your expense. You have to learn to move past the negative, even if that means making a movie about it. I do not, however, think you should heckle a live act. Ask yourself this: would I start making comments like "You suck!" to my boss while he was presenting the quarterly presentation to you? I am thinking you wouldn't. First of all you would be unemployed and secondly it's not polite. Leave the live presentations alone.

Wait.... I take that back. Continue heckling, I like watching them rip you apart piece by piece.

Great movie. Check it out and make sure you see the extras. There are some classic deleted scenes and edited scenes that add a laugh to the viewing.

Thursday, November 06, 2008


Holy crap we are soon getting a new president! YAY!

I hope you enjoyed the Halloween story, I had fun writing about it. I felt compelled to tell you that the idea of zombies that think and don't eat brains was kind of derived from a book I am reading called Generation Dead. My story was meant to be funny while theirs seems to talk about social responsibility and humanity. ANyway it is an interesting book.

I am writing my little tiny brains out this month and having a blast. If you know someone who is doing NANAWRIMO this month pat them on the back and hand them a coffee. They probably have not slept well at all and could use the caffeine. Then tell them silly things like "I can't wait to read it!", "I bet it'll be fantastic!", "How exciting!" or "My infant can write 50,000 words in half a day! You wuss!"

I have my first interview in nearly a month happening tomorrow. It is a phone interview.... so I am going to act really excited and enthusiastic. Yay me.

I am getting excited about visiting ya'll in PHX. Woo!

Speaking of impending events... it is Christmas card time. I NEED you're addresses. Please email your addresses to, that way I can get started writing them after I am done with this novel writing thing. They will have all new lies and half truths. It will be fun! Be part of the Christmas card zaniness! Remember as always you do not need to send a card to recieve a card, if you want one give me your address. I can almost guarantee I won't use that address to come over and rob you.