Tower Heist, A Rambling Review

Once again Gofobo.com came through with tickets, this time they were to see Tower Heist.

I have to admit this review would be a lot easier if I hated this movie. It is always easier to write the movie review for a movie that nobody should see then it is for a movie that rocks. The biggest issue is not giving people too much info or over hyping it. Having said that, I was excited from the moment I saw the commercial for this movie, the industry folks like to call them trailers (but I write this for the non-industry types, sorry Ben Stiller). When I am excited about a movie it falls into 2 categories: I hope this movie is as good as it looks or this movie looks stupidly funny and I hope it is. This movie, with it's overabundance of star power, fell into the former category. This movie is/was poised to be either terribly disappointing or astoundingly entertaining. I am happy to report that it was the latter in this case. I was amused, the free movie crew I roll with were amused, and the rest of the cheap-skate movie viewers were entertained as well. There are lots of laughs and Eddie Murphy's character was a character you really enjoy seeing him play: an angry, rude, chip on the soldier black man. A character he used to rock in SNL skits. It was the best movie with Eddie Murphy in the cast since the days of Beverly Hills Cop. I do not want to ruin the movie so I will give you a synopsis that you can easily get from watching the preview. An evil business man screws hundreds of people out of money by fraudulent investments including the people who work at the hotel he lives at. Ben Stiller, someone who admires the guy up until that point, creates a plan to rob the money back. He collects his crew of misfits and adds one inept criminal to the mix and gets to work. Unless you are a rich guy who got rich from stealing people's pensions, you will probably like the underdogs' tale in this flick. It makes you cheer and laugh right along with all the craziness. One of my favorite scenes was when Eddie checks the guys stealing metal by daring them to shoplift at the mall. That scene had me laughing so hard that I would almost miss the next hilarious scene.
I enjoyed this flick but oddly enough as I walked out I heard two large ladies (and when I say large I mean defensive line in the NFL type of weight on a smaller less fit individual) complaining about some inconsistency in the story. I had a similar thought about a weird plot thing that bugged me a bit but I thought "Hey this is a comedy.... who cares!" and got over it. The ladies, who could block for Phillip Rivers (QB for San Diego), were actually complaining about something that happened that I am still not sure about, what I mean is they were talking about a detail that I do not even remember occurring. Their whiny natures made me want to revoke their abilities to see a free movie. It was not like the studio execs were going to rework scenes a week before the dang thing is coming out! So why bother the poor worker with all your stupid plotholes? The only real answer, of course, is that you are stupid. Speaking of stupid, all these people that I was around as I walked out of the movie were whining that it was taking 5 seconds longer to leave the theater because people are expected to give an opinion about the free movie they just saw. One lady was like "I can't understand why we are not exiting the theater!" Her friend agreed with some words that sounded just as stupid. I said, "It's because they are collecting comments as we exit." Some other idiot said, "It seems like they could move out into the lobby a little more so we could get out." "My first reaction was to look at him sympathetically, like you would if some mentally handicapped dog was humping your leg After I pushed the guy off my leg, I said, "Well, I think a few seconds longer to leave while being asked to give an opinion is a pretty good deal for a movie. If they were to move it back a little bit you might not get a chance to put in your 2 cents. Not that your 2 cents would be worth much...." At this point people stopped talking out loud around me, I am not sure why. Anyway go see this movie! Also go to Gofobo.com and then join my free movie crew at the next flick. Just make sure to whine about the exit time later or I will mock you as we leave. (BTW whining about a crappy movie is fine, I did that at the stupid bird movie)

Texas Killing Fields; A Rambling Review

My free movie trend was slower then usual this week. I only had a free pass from the Facebook version of Gofobo.com, Buzzbo Phoenix. It was for the Texas Killing Fields and I was not sure I would make it in time to get a free flick considering they just posted it for anyone on Facebook to download and print off. I arrived later then normal but I had plenty of seats to choose from, not many people came. I think it might have something to do with the title being Texas Killing Fields. Every one hears that title and immediately assumes it is some trashy horror flick but it is a cop story. Combine the misled belief, that it is a horror flick, with the fact that this is the month of October and people did not pay much attention. Which was good for my late arrival but probably not good for their sales numbers. This review is going to sound bad and I feel bad about that but it is mainly because it is kind of bad. I want to let you know that through out the whole thing I could not help but be curious about these characters which is a positive. It was a very good base to build upon but it needs the details filled in. Without the details for the other story lines, that it drops everywhere, we are left with a very simple story that we already know the outcome of. I wanted to like this movie but I kept finding myself thinking that the movie was never going to end, which is not a good thing when it is only about an hour and 45 minutes long. So I have mixed emotions, I want to like it but I keep discovering holes in the story and plot as I keep thinking about it. So I guess I have to say that I did not like it and wish that they had shown it to me earlier so I could have suggested some changes be made. Unfortunately that is not going to happen, but here is a review of Texas Killing Fields.

The movie is set in and around Texas City, TX and is based on a real story. Actually, the movie states that it was inspired by a true story, which leads me to believe it is not as "true story" as they want you to believe. I may be wrong...

The story opens up with a shot of a swampy, marsh area and an abandoned car with the doors thrown wide. Then we get introduced to our 3 main players, two of which are cops. One is named Mike and the other's name escapes me, funny that I remember the character with my name. I just looked it up and discovered the other cop's name is Brian. The third character is a 14-ish girl named Anne. This girl played a vampire in Let Me In which was the American remake of Let the Right One In, which are both good movies although my preferred version is the original one. The girl is alone at a gas station and seems to have nothing to do and the 2 cops are at a homicide crime scene. Later on, after they have left the dead body behind, the cops stop and talk to her as she wanders the street and we find out this girl is on probation (which never gets explained and this lack of information is still bothering me) and has a drug addicted and a prostitute for a mom. They drive the girl, who they know from prior experiences (that are never explained either), to her home where we meet a group of guys and the mom. We find out later that one of the guys that files out is this girl's brother but it was not clear to me during the scene. My focus was on Mike, who is in the process of staring down some smarmy guy. The creepy guy seems to accept the proffered challenge but no fists fly and not a whole lot of words are exchanged. They leave the home and those at the home are now a bit more tense and you are now twice as worried about this poor girl. When they are driving away we get introduced to a 4th character who I would dub lead supporting character. She is another police officer from a neighboring district, named Pam, and she is calling for Brian and during the conversation we learn she is the ex of Mike (once again a piece of interesting information that never gets explored). She has found the car we saw in the opening scene and she wants help form Brian but Mike is adamant that he shouldn't help her. He follows his partner's advice (kind of) and says when she finds the body to call him. What was weird was that after this conversation she gets to the car and starts hollering at people. Why would she call for help on a case before their really is a case? Why would she call that quickly anyway? Is she the only cop in her district? It certainly doesn't look like that when we see her station the next day. We get treated to a scene where she is beating up some guy and asking him about his visits with women. We do not ever see this guy again and she never gets called on assaulting him. We do get treated to Mike showing up and telling her that her request for Brian ended up with her working with him instead. Except she hasn't found a body so why did she make the call? As I write this I realize that I am just getting more and more dissatisfied, this was not a good movie. Meanwhile, the other case has some starring candidates for the first murder. There seems to be a pimp involved with the dead girl and he has a crazy Nazi tattooed friend. This was a weird pairing because the pimp was a big, giant black guy and he was hanging with the creepy, also giant, Nazi tattoo guy. Anyway they are guilty of something if not all. The movie contains more verbal exchanges, another cop assault (Brian hits a guy), a car chase, a shootout and a stabbing. The one thing I have to question is the one near rape of a lady who is home with her daughter, it seems like a stupid scene and we never see her again after the scene ends. So we are treated to a traumatic scene for no clear reason. I have no idea why it was in there, it was not needed and only helped muddy the water.  There are a few scenes that aren't explained as well as a few random characters (including Brian's wife and family). A lot of the movie's characters were not explained and their issues were not explored and I found that had this been done that this would be a good movie. With it not done it is basically a slightly boring movie with good actors in it.

As far as the direction of the movie, I found a lot of the shots looked crappy and kind of low budget. There are several points where their are black screens while the scene changes. There are often weird edits and cuts that make you think someone was showing off recently learned editing skills. A lot of these things occurred to me as  I watched the movie and I do not claim to be an expert in the art of movie directing. If these things caught my eye, being a film making novice, then it makes me wonder what a more tenured film professional saw. The worst part was all the fancy editing actually only seemed to make me aware of time passing. It made me come out of the movie completely and wonder when it was all going to end. The worst part was that it's weird slapped together and disorganized feel made me think that it was a very early version of the film and that edits will be made. Which would be fine except that the movie came out in some theaters last week and I am assuming that it is due out in more theaters soon. If you have to see this movie make sure you rent it and that you don't pay more then a buck or a netflix monthly subscription to do so.

Two More....

I saw two more movies this week. One was free thanks to Gofobo.com and the Arizona Republic. Here are the reviews...

The Way

I was the motivating factor for my free movie watching crew to see this movie. Last weekend we saw the code for two movies in the paper. One was the terribly boring flick, The Big Year, and the other was for this movie. The crew had decided that this particular theater was outside of their travel boundaries. I drive a lot for my job and that has changed what seems far and what doesn't for me. I pushed and they came along. Which of course meant that this movie that I had never heard of had to be god or else I would have whiny companions. They might have rioted. You know how angry older (then me) people get. I have seen shows about the 60's they like protesting! The good news is that riots and protests were not ever staged because the flick came through. The movie is about a man and his estranged son. Of course it is really about the man because his estranged son dies in France on his first day of a pilgrimage that apparently lots of people participate in. The father goes to collect his son's body and his things and spontaneously decides to do the pilgrimage for him. As he walks he ends up collecting some unwanted tag-alongs that make the journey interesting and finally help him confront his son's death. It is really well acted, the cinematography is amazing, and the story is pretty lighthearted despite some very serious issues that the people involved are dealing with. It stars Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez (also the director, I believe) and some other people.... ;)

Dream House

If you caught the preview then you have seen this movie. If you have not seen the preview then you have a chance of enjoying it. If you have not seen the preview, and/or want to see the movie, stop reading, this is your last warning. James Bond (who cares about his real name) is a retiring editor who is very successful and well liked. He has a hot wife and two adorable girls that he is leaving his job to spend more time with and to write that ever elusive great novel. The first issue I had with the movie was here. I got the feeling this was the '40's or something until I got a good look at the city and saw graffiti as he rode the train. The next thing that bothered me was that Elias Koteas was on that train being creepy. Elias Koteas has starred in a lot of movies and you will recognize him right away. When I see him I always figure he is a bad guy because I think I have seen him be a bad guy in a lot of movies. He was a crazy serial killer in Fallen and I will always recognize him and associate him with that movie. Anyway when he gets to his new town, a lady who sold him the house picks him up but he doesn't remember her. Then all of his neighbors, cops and towns people seem to hate this guy. He seems like a nice guy and it seems weird. Of course right about here I remembered why, that stupid trailer!!! He isn't a retiring editor. He is a dude who is crazy and just got out of a psych ward and everyone thinks he killed his family. What is weird is in the movie he starts looking greasy and dirty before the reveal that he is the crazy suspected killer.So you keep thinking why hasn't he put on new clothes? Because he is imagining a nice home and a nice family but he is living in his condemned home where his family died. So after the reveal they kind of have us straddle two worlds with him and it seems to be going nowhere. Apparently the director thought so too because suddenly it is dangerous for him to live in his house (according to his hot neighbor). That is when we discover what really happened that night. The ending seemed slapped on and it just kind of felt unsatisfying. Was it terrible? No. Was it worth seeing for 7 to 13 bucks at the theater? no. If you really must see this flick, rent it for a buck or wait for it to stream on Netflix. The movie starts off so well and interesting that I still can't fathom how the second half came about. It seemed like a good premise but not real well thought out. I saw this movie with my nephew and he has his own take on it, you can read about it here: http://thechocolatecow.wordpress.com/2011/10/16/good-night-good-morning/

Quick whine and then a Rambling Review of The Conspirator

I picked a heck of a week to take off from adult beverages. Rough week and this time it had nothing to do with my students. Anyway, I am cleansing the system for a while (at least a week). I am also trying to see if the resistance to alcohol helps me increase the pound sheddage. I have lost about 7 pounds since the beginning of March and I feel like the Friday night imbibage needs to be curbed a bit to aid my exercising and change in diet. We shall see.

Last weekend I saw a great movie with my mom and Becky. It was called The Conspirator. This movie crept up on me and I had no idea it existed until my mom mentioned it as a possible option to me. I was interested the minute they told me it involved President Lincoln's assassination.

I was amazed to see that Gilmore chick in it.... I think her moniker in that yappy show was Rory. Yes I do know her actual name... do you? It's Alexis Bleidel. I locked that name away because she was the reason I watched those 3 to 4 episodes of the Gilmore Girls. She is adorable... her character in this flick is a bit snooty though. Glad to see her working. As far as the movie was concerned it follows the trial of Mary Surratt who is basically tried because they can't catch her conspiring son (this was according to the movie, I am awful at my civil war era history and have done no research to verify it). SPOILER: She is basically railroaded into being hung and I feel like since this is historical this wasn't a freaking spoiler. I repeat she definitely hung for this crime, justified or not. My mother was also caught unawares by the ending which made me feel less shameful of my lack of historical knowledge. I have to tell you this was a great movie. Considering all I knew about that assassination was that John Wilkes Booth and some others conspired to kill Lincoln, I was completely blindsided by all the proceedings. I had no idea these guys set out to kill more then Lincoln and that they actually got another guy. I also had no idea what happened to the non John Wilkes Booth conspirators SPOILER: or that a woman was hanged. I like adding spoiler alerts in this review because it is based on historical events. I feel like one of those guys who tell you the Titanic sinks at the end of the movie Titanic. I know! Total mind blower! Should I put a spoiler alert around the Titanic bit? The only watchable part (besides a topless Minnie Driver) was when Leo froze up and sunk to the bottom of the sea. If they had only showed him getting chomped on by the sea life. Wait! I am reviewing The Conspirator (rather badly if I do say so myself). The conspirator is a well acted and very engaging movie based on historical events. It is definitely worth seeing. I did spend a great part of my time after the movie trying to figure out if they were trying to be political. I have reviewed a few flicks on here that have gotten people's dander up. My problem is that I am usually oblivious but this movie had a few story ending facts that seemed like they could be construed to favor a political side. I decided to put that out of my mind and take the movie at face value... because I hate being told what to believe. When I did that I found that I really enjoyed the movie and was almost completely unaware of the annoying people surrounding me (with the exception of the annoying people who had cell phones ringing). That fact says a lot, I am usually aware of every slack jawed sloth that surround me and I am usually irritated with them (sometimes just for breathing weird). Anyway go see the movie and try not to leave your freaking ringer on.....

Really Hearing the Music

I am not sure how you feel about music.....

To be truthful, I am not entirely sure how I feel about music. I used to live, breathe and eat music. It easily matched and flowed with my moods. Music told me a lot about things around me and I couldn't go anywhere without a carefully planned soundtrack. I heard Snoop Dogg, Cypress Hill, Dr. Dre and Digital Underground and could get my head wrapped around a school day. I listened to the Eagles religiously, especially in my friend Kevin's Car. Tom Petty's Wildflowers album still floods me with memories of a tumultuous and very exciting year. The Doors and Jimi Hendrix remind me of my bedroom in my first house and the huge sound system I had set up; I remember kissing a girl as the music drowned out the party upstairs. Music was essential to get through my day and the fact that I couldn't listen to them at school or work kind of offended me. My cohort in crime and I have a lot of memories related to concerts, blaring car music and my home sound system. When we get started talking about music you get a lot of random life stories tangled amidst the songs, albums and musicians we love.

And yet....

I find that music is not the same for me anymore. I like an ever widening variety of music but it does not connect as well as it used to. I don't come home and have to put on an album. I don't feel the need to dance and sing along. I hardly ever catch myself playing the air guitar....

People always talk about phases in life. I remember being told that a lot of my extreme interest in music would fade as I got older. I remember laughing at all the old people who listened to talk radio. Now I find myself having one play list of podcasts on my iPod (some from talk radio stations I used to fake snore to). Actually I have 2 small shuffle iPods, one is usually talk and the other music. Long gone are the hours and hours of simply listening to music and writing.

Giving up music was not a conscious decision. Some of my apathy came from having so many albums to choose from. I do not hear an entire album from start to finish like I used to. I stopped listening to 20 minute long songs from the 60's because they were so darn long.

The other side of having such a large collection is that I seem to always be looking for something new that will fit my mood. Of course part of it might be because my emotions are not as intense and wild as they were when I was a teenager or in my early 20's. I still think rock from the late 60's and early 70's fits well into those crazy youthful years but rocking out to In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida seems a little silly these days.

I am not saying I have given up on music all together. I still listen to music everyday; just not usually as my sole activity and not nearly as carefully selected. I no longer spend hours crafting a play list or creating a new mix tape (or mix cd as I have made both). I just pick a few artists, load them up and listen to whatever plays.

My interest in music is still high; I am more than willing to give a listen to anything anyone might recommend to me. Whether they are aged 98 or just turned 2 (deinitely not any younger or older then that). I am an open book and seem to have been on a search for new music and new artists to try out. In the last couple years a few new (to me) favorites have included Ben Harper, A Fine Frenzy, Raconteurs, Holly Brook, Flight of the Conchords (always makes me chuckle), Common, and many others. I still listen to and purchase music but I do not connect as much as I used to.

Of course that was until I watched It Might Get Loud.



It Might Get Loud changed everything for me....

It Might Get Loud is a documentary about 3 musicians getting together telling their stories and playing some music. The musicians included Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin fame, The Edge of U2 fame and Jack White from the White Stripes (and the Raconteurs). I am a fan of all 3 men and their various music endeavors. They make great music that I consider very essential to my collection. In fact, as I type away I am listening to War by U2 and plan to switch over to one of the other bands afterward.

This documentary is fabulous and is a must see for music fans of any stripe. It helped remind me of the passion behind the songs and to pay attention to the feeling of the music and the words; to vibe with the music and to stop treating it like a background highlight. My connection to music had become tenuous because I forgot to really listen to the music and allow it to transport me.

I plan to pay more attention when I listen to music from here on out. I will make sure to listen to more whole albums again; especially when it is a new artist or a new album by an old favorite artist. Another step I will take is to look more into these bands histories. I used to know a lot about the musicians I called my favorites and it enriched the auditory experience for me. Finally I plan to get more live music DVD's, see more concerts and spend more time listening.

Ps.... I also plan to get my own copy of It Might Get Loud.

A Rambling Review of The Unborn

I don't know what it is with the last 3 horror movies I have rented but Wow! They sure do suck. The 3 movies in question: Quarantine (I was laughing during this movie, another hand held taped report from people who don't make it out alive), The Uninvited (I say this movie sucked because I was wanting scary and it wasn't although it was sorta interesting), and The Unborn. I just watched The Unborn and I had to share how bad it was. So here is my review of The Unborn.



The above picture is probably the most engaging scene in the movie. The heroine in underwear.... what bliss! The thing is the movie is so bad it doesn't help. If you are looking for scary then you should look elsewhere. Let me break it down for you the above pictured underwear clad girl is named Casey; which only took the entire movie for me to find out. I am sure they said it before the end but I only hear her name with enough repetition to stick at the end. Even video calls to her friend lacks anyone calling her by her name.

We start the movie off watching Casey jog. She pauses to catch her breath and notices a glove on the ground. Then she sees a boy standing there. The boy has a white face and blue eyes that look like really bad colored contacts a weirdo goth kid might wear to make you think they were weird. Of course they are a goth kid so you know they aren't weird, merely pathetic. Anyway this little kid turns into a growling dog wearing a mask that looks like the creepy little boy. For whatever reason when it runs away she follows it. We soon discover this was a dream she is telling a friend about who is telling her what the dream means. Casey also happens to be babysitting a little boy and his baby brother. Of course she hears steps and whispering on the baby monitor so she goes to investigate and the little boy is showing the baby a mirror. She decides to stop him and he crushes it into her head and says "Jumby wants to be born now." In case you were wondering, this little boy is weirder and creepier looking then the creepy white faced and bad contact wearing boy. The next day she is discussing it with her friend from the phone call, her boyfriend and some random girl who never shows up again. The friend talks about a superstition that babies shouldn't see their reflection for a year after birth to keep them safe. I zoned out at this point.

Then the underwear scene happened. I zoned out after that and next thing I notice she has sex with her boyfriend. Which brings up an interesting theme in modern horror flicks. Apparently sex allows evil things to happen. I am not sure who is more against sex: religious organizations or horror movie directors. One of the first movies to make this point was Halloween. In that movie all the teens die except Jamie Lee Curtis and she is the only virgin. In fact, all the others die right after sex or during the act. So if you ever suspect you are stuck in a horror film please refrain from having sex. It could save your life.

Anyway the minute after she knocks boots the little colored contact wearing pasty kid starts upping the ante a bit. He shows up all over, sends icky insects at her and appears in mirrors. Then Casey's eye starts turning blue and we find out this is caused.... somehow.... by a twins random strand of DNA. She finds out she was a twin but that her bro died in the womb. Shortly after this.... YAWN!!! Sorry. Anyway somehow we find out, in the middle of the movie, that her mother was adopted and killed herself. Before she died she found her own biological mother. So Casey goes and has a chat with her. We find out that the little ugly kid with the bad contacts was her twin brother back when they were prisoners in a Nazi concentration camp. Apparently experiments.... brother dies.... body is possessed.... she knows... kills possessed bro... pasty, contact wearing kid is a little perturbed to be dead. Anyway the thing that possessed the brother is some old Jewish demon thing called a dybbuk. It likes twins because they are easier to take over, I guess. Casey decides she needs an exorcism... The dybbuk kills her grandma, inhabits the little boy she babysat, kills and inhabits her friend but she is the one who needs an exorcism. Aren't exorcism more affective if you go after the person actually possessed? But.... what do I know?

Anyway they have an exorcism; and her boyfriend and 8 other people helping out are killed. She and the only other surviving person, a rabbi played by Gary Oldman, think they got rid of it. Five seconds later we find out she is pregnant with twins and the movie is over.

So here are a few stupid highlights:

"Jumby" - Her dad tells her, when he finally admits she was a twin before birth, that the nickname given to the brother was jumby. Uh... what kind of stupid nickname is that? I think "jumby" has the right to start offing people. Why he didn't start with pops (who never reappears after he admits his daughter was supposed to be a twin) is beyond me.

the exorcism - I am still confused by the fact that she thought she should get an exorcism even though the other people were the ones being possessed. That is like calling a plumber to your house because your neighbor has a clogged toilet. She was never possessed.... Apparently one of her babies is though.

"The world is not safe" - Her boyfriend and her watch the possessed little boy (babysat kid), kill her friend and her friend becomes randomly possessed. Of course, as soon as that happens they cut away to an ambulance checking the still creepy but no longer possessed murderer... I mean kid. There is no sign of the friend nor is she really brought up again. Anyway she and her boyfriend are suddenly in a diner talking about it. He is rambling about the world no longer being safe and she is rambling about the world never actually was safe and people just pretend it is. This stupid conversation is fresh in our minds when the exorcism starts going wrong. The boyfriend frees her from her restraints during the exorcism that "shouldn't be stopped once it's begun". They run away while the other people are being killed by the evil spirit that has still never inhabited or posessed Casey. So if a hot Megan Fox looking girl named Casey wants you to help her be exorcised just say "NO!", because she will end up running away in the middle of it and you will be killed. Even worse is the fact that she was never even posessed. Getting back to the movie, boyfriend and Casey are hiding and maybe like five seconds of silence go by and she says "I think it's gone." Somehow she has transitioned from scared of everything to thinking everything is peachy keen. Of course immediately after that the boyfriend gets attacked and possessed and yada yada yada. Out of nowhere, the rabbi starts chanting the exorcism thing again and somehow "saves the day". So what happened between "the world is not safe" to "I think it's gone"? What made her think they were safe? How did she change her mind so quickly? I'll tell you how; bad writing.

Two African-American characters - I am sure you have all heard the African-American comedians talk about black people in horror movies. They joke about how they always are the first to die in these movies. In this movie they don't die first but neither makes it out alive. Her friend, who happens to be African-American, is the second character to die. Then there is a priest who dies within 5 minutes of being introduced. He dies at the exorcism and is possessed. He is the one who attacks the boyfriend. Anyway, it is amazing that the white rabbi lives and the African-American priest dies. The funny thing is the priest knows more about exorcisms then the Rabbi so it seems he should have been the one left standing. Once again we have a movie with only two African-American characters in it and both die. Awesome. Way to keep a stereotype alive.

Bottom line: This movie isn't even worth seeing to make fun of. It was pretty boring and the action scenes were boring.

A day of decadence

I finally got the financial aid check today. To celebrate, and relieve a little stress, I spent some money today. I did not spend a lot but I did spend more then I have spent in the last 3 weeks. It felt great. As a result of the spending I have a few things to review. Let's start with the latest culinary creation from McDonald's!



I had been seeing emails and web ads about McDonald's new Angus Third Pounders for a few weeks now. I have to tell you that everytime I look at a picture of them I feel the urge to have a burger. The marketing is pretty appealing but would the taste equal the image? I went to McDonald's and ordered the Bacon Cheeseburger meal. I had visions of a tasty burger being complimented nicely by some wonderfully salty french fries. To my great disappointment the french fries were not fresh and the enjoyment was sapped from them. They were not exactly cold but they were close. Nothing disappoints like bad french fries. Not even knowing that they were boiled in beef fat before getting frozen, then shipped before being boiled again could cheer me up. Normally knowing how horrible these fries are for me really helps but the luke warmness stole that dream from me. I turned my attention to the burger and took a moment to take in the sight. An important factor of enjoyment is the look of the burger and I needed to take it in. The burger was a little off center as were the toppings. That was to be expected as I had watched the idiot behind the counter point out something to someone with the same hand that held my burger. Irritation caused by the memory of her waving my burger around flashed through my head as I looked at the off kilter burger but it was still an enticing sight. I picked the burger up and took a bite. I tasted nothing but bun. I was more then a little irritated at that moment but I readjusted my mind set and took another bite. I tasted the burger but nothing else. I was trying not to feel like the endeavor had been a waste of time. I took a sip of cola and picked the burger back up and hoped it had flavor this time. I had purchased a bacon cheese burger for a reason and that was the flavor. The third bite gave me what I was waiting for. A perfect mingling of cheese, burger, bacon, ketchup, mustard, and onion. I did not set the burger down this time and as soon as I had swallowed I took another bite. This bite had an overwhelming flavor of pickle. It was not the neon green slices I normally found in a fast food burger but more like a real pickle. It was interesting to taste that flavor but it was almost overwhelming. I looked at the burger while I chewes and I thought "there is something missing". I started looking at the picture on the ad they used for a tray liner. They had the three options lined up for me to gawk at and that was when I saw what was missing. The burger did not have lettuce or tomato. In fact, it is marketed without lettuce and tomato in the picture but sitting next to it is a cheeseburger with a beautiful tomato slice and lettuce leaf. I had somehow assumed it would have these and I was a little bummed to have them not be part of the party. As I sat there, wondering what McDonald's was thinking, I decided that I was going to review the burger. I set the burger down and looked at it for a moment. I examined the burger itself and saw that it looks like a pan fried burger and kind of like a boiled burger. If you cook a burger in the skillet the fat bubbles out and turns grey and stays connected. If you have never pan fried the burger you might not have seen that as the grease falls into the fire on a grill. I know that McDonald's doesn't have a grill; so I am not sure why I was surprised. Either way it was nicely browned and tasted pretty good so I picked it back up. I decided not to examine too much further and to just focus on the taste. After all I had spent 6.69 on the stupid meal (should have just bought the sandwich considering the terribleness of the fries) and I was pretty hungry. As I kept eating, the burger started tasting saltier and at a certain point it seemed all I could taste was salt, pickle and onion. The last straw was the last piece of bacon. I had not looked at the bacon before I dove in. I had stopped doing that years ago; for some odd reason they always undercook the bacon for my tastes but if I don't look I don't know and I can enjoy it. This piece of bacon just did not have the texture down and it stopped me from enjoying that bite. At that point I abandoned a quarter of the burger and 3/4of the fries. The fries were that bad. Overall my suggestion is that if you are at a McDonald's the new Angus burgers are worth trying. Perhaps your McDonald's won't be filled with incompetents (not likely but you can hope) and the burger will be evenly seasoned, the bacon will be crisp, and the french fries fresh. Perhaps if that had happened for me I would have been more excited about the experience. Either way the burger left me wanting and I will not go out of my way to get that burger again. If I have a craving for a good fast food burger I will find a Carl's Jr.

After I ate the burger I hopped on a train and went downtown to see the movie Moon. I had read a friend's review and decided I needed to see it and it was worth the trip. I am not going to review it for you as I think you should read the entry that inspired me: http://focoproject.com/2009/08/movie-review-moon/ My recommendation is to not look at any other reviews besides his because he manages not to tell you what happens. Not knowing what happens was pretty fun when the stuff started happening.



I wasn't done with my decadence yet. I had an urge to see the movie Orphan. I have been thinking of seeing it for a while now and had even cashed in all my coins to make it happen but had not made it to the theater yet. You see I wanted to go to the theater that, oddly enough, is like a block East and two blocks North of the theater Moon was playing at. I wanted that theater because their non-matinee is 8.75 when all other theaters are 10.50. The matinee of Moon cost 8.25 while the matinee of Orphan was 7.75 (same theater company). So I had been waiting until I was at that theater at the right time. The last 3 times I was near the theater the movie had already started and their was over an hour to wait. I am not great at waiting and the lack of money in my pocket (those previous 3 times) helped me to know that there were not a lot of time killing options.



The tag line says "There's something wrong with Esther" and the minute you see her you know that. This girl is wearing clothes better suited for the rich snobby girl on the Little House on the Prairie tv series. She is definitely different; in a creepy way not a fun, let's play with the imaginary aliens kind of way. Never the less, a family that is not quite over their demons and their losses decide she is perfect. You see this family already has a son and a daughter but lost a baby during delivery. Their actual daughter is deaf and doesn't utter a peep in the movie so perhaps she is also mute. The son looks like he was made to sulk. The parents meet Esther during a visit to an orphanage and immediately like her. They take her home and welcome her there with open arms, but it seems nobosy else has met her until then. At first there seems to be a dynamic set up where everyone in the house but the older son loves this girl. Once again, I found myself wondering 'why?' because this girl gives off a mega-weird vibe. Esther immediately bonds with the little girl and they seem to be inseperable. Esther even learns sign language to communicate better with the little girl and I guess one might feel comforted by that. Of course not if you have seen the previews. It isn't long before Esther's evil side is revealed and she has shoved another girl off some playground equipment. To be perfectly honest I was totally happy when that happened because that particular girl had been quite repugnant. In fact it was that scene, the scene shown in the previews, that made me like Esther. Suddenly I was hoping that the review I had read, prior to seeing the film, that talked about the surprise ending was suggesing a surprise ending more along the lines of Uninvited. Of course to get that reference you would have to be one of the 12 people who has seen Uninvited. Either way Esther has just gotten started being evil. I did not completely anticipate the twist at the end... in fact I probably caught on like 5 seconds before the movie expected you to catch on. Then again maybe I caught on right where everyone else did. Of course I have decided it must have been the 5 seconds earlier then everyone else because it sounds better. You know somehow not super cocky but better... ;) I enjoyed this movie. It was not great or groundbreaking. If you are not a horror/suspense person then there is no need to rush out and see it but if you like these kind of flicks you should see it. Do yourself a favor don't read anything about the twist and see if you can beat my "5 seconds before the twist is revealed" record. As I said, during the movie I started liking her. Evilness and all. I almost wanted her to get away with it but that little deaf girl was adorable and I knew I had to root for her. There is no way a cute little deaf girl could live and Esther could live at the end of a movie like this. The movie is not without faults. The fiorst is that somehow Esther is not in trouble for pushing a girl off the jungle gym. The girl breaks her leg and tells people she was pushed by Esther but nothing happens. I am fairly certain that wouldn't happen. You can't be accused of pushing someone off the jungle gym and then just get out of it. Most of the plot relies on the disfunction of the family to allow for nobody to trust each other. If you think too much about that part this story gets a litle far fetched but don't think; just watch.

The nicest thing about seeing Orphan was the walk to the train. I decided to stop into Powell's on the way. I picked up a book and sat to read a little bit of it. I was not the only person reading over there and I was thinking I might stay. Suddenly a couple came in. I would say they were older then I am and probably older then my older siblings as well. The woman was talking really loudly and they sat right next to me. They both took out laptops and she kept yapping the entire time. I was annoyed by this because there is another side that has more tables and computers already set up. It seemed like they should have sat there as that seemed more of a place to do it at. I was feeling annoyed by her non-stop yappiness so I kept making eye contact with her, in an effort to shame her, but she kept talking. I have begun to wonder if people can be shamed anymore.... The worst part was her partner was not listening to her and she was not on a phone. This guy wasn't even humoring her with an occasional "mm-hmm" but she kept talking. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and left. As I walked the remaining blocks to the train stop I envisioned having Esther around to kill her off. It was very satisyfying.

Anyway I am back on a budget tomorrow.

Thoughts on "Who killed the electric car?"

I just got done watching Who Killed the Electric Car?

I enjoyed watching this little documentary and found out a lot about a car I do not remember hearing about. They basically decide everybody involved on all sides are at fault for not having the electric car "widely" available today. The car companies for fighting so hard to have it fail while at the same time paying lip service to the lack of interest on a car they completely fail to properly market. The oil companies because we all know people making billions don't want to make less money and that all oil execs are basically vampires. Then the government and their evil plot to keep us from anything not oil related. Then the consumer who failed to realize the car was perfect for them. I liked the movie but I had some issues with it.

First off I took issue with them finding fault with the consumers of America. I find it hard to believe that people who knew nothing about the existence of the car can be at fault for not buying it. Supposedly it was marketed in California and Arizona but I am not aware of anyone who had one. From what I could tell from the story the car companies made it nearly impossible to get from the electric car waiting list into one of the cars. Which means that if I knew about it I would have run into the issue of being a poor college student. Oh yeah and the small issue of not in the market for a new car. In fact, I still have never owned a new car because they are freaking expensive. So I would have had to wait until the became used cars before it was an economically viable option for me. They never became used cars because the companies leased them and did not sell them to people. When the lease ran out people had to turn them in and most did not have the option to get an extension on the lease. Actually from what I could tel no one was allowed to extend the lease.

Second issue was the description of the car as sexy. The focus of this documentary was GM's ev-1. It had the weird rear wheel that was half covered thing like the first Insight did. The rest of the design was better looking then the Insight was (is?) but I would not attach the word sexy to it. Then there was a lot of talk about the car being fast but they did not really give me an understandable measure of what that meant. They did not use the standard measure of 0 to 60 in whatever seconds so I had to take their word for it. It is one thing to assume that I am interested in electric cars and there by have an issue with the oil companies. I don't like paying for gas and my car has broken down enough to seriously burn the idea of ever enjoying driving a car again. So that is a belief I can allow them to assume. I can not allow them to assume I will believe that a car was "fast" without any real data to back that up. It is a line too far out there for me.

Next down the list is getting 60 to 120 miles per charge. They are right, most of my driving would comfortably fit between these estimates. I don't go near 120 miles in one day on a normal day. However, what do I do if I want to visit my dad's? His house is almost 200 miles away. What would happen to me in that situation? Assuming we had built a recharging station, how long would a recharge take? And yes the answer does matter. Say that somehow I got the car when I was in college... when these things first came out. I would not make it from Flagstaff to Phoenix.... ever. My first job after college was probably 60 miles round trip.... was I expected to recharge at work? I can imagine that going over well. Basically that leaves me with a couple options for making a trip of 200 miles I rent a gas fueled car, I ride the bus (shudder), I take the train (which seems kinda nice), or I sit at a refueling station that might exist for an unspecified amount of time while I recharge. I guess I could own two cars.... how about that for the ol' pocketbook. A car for distance trips and my "getting around town" electric car. So no matter what they say the limited range is an issue. Maybe not the insurmountable obstacle that some people think it is but definitely an issue.

Then we get into the big business issues. This is a weird country where making money is desired unless it is too much money. Yes Big Oil is bending us over the gasoline table and they will continue to do so as long as they can. We are capitalists; deal with it. The thing that isn't fair is when the government fails to help parties interested in competing with the monopoly. Make no mistake that Big Oil is a monopoly; there might be a handful of companies but they definitely work together to keep their profits rising. The actions of the federal government to stop the California Zero Emission policy was wrong. We have had to force auto makers to change how cars were made for every advancement. Seat belts, air bags, miles per gallon and emissions standards. So California was doing what needed to be done. Of course when push came to shove they buckled but you try not giving in when the US government, Big Oil and major car companies are breathing down your neck. Especially when 2 of the 3 help you get elected to office.

The car companies. What can be said besides "OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS ARE STUPID!!!!" I think the last few years have shown how this is only one story where they shot themselves in the foot. The American car companies are doing their best to kill themselves from what I can tell. Good job guys! Of course this movie pointed out that the foreign companies followed GM's lead in destroying their electric vehicles as well. Even though they have more hybrid options they aren't doing as much as they can. The funny thing is if the big 3 had started working on better fuel economy as they were scrapping the electric vehicle they might have been doing better. The cars I have looked at in the past that were American car companies hybrids have been barely better then the regular cars. How about upping the fuel economy in a completely gas run car? Who does that hurt? I guess the oil companies.... but not completely as we would still be buying gas. It's not like they don't keep screwing us over all the time anyway whose to say they couldn't do so even with better fuel economy. What if gas prices stayed at 4 or 5 bucks per gallon but I was getting 50 to 60 miles to the gallon? I would be happier and I would know that even though the cost to fill up was more I could go twice as far per tank. Add value to the product. Instead the bigwigs at GM decided let's put our money into a car that is lucky to get 8 miles to the gallon... Go Hummers! Here is a good example of the consumer being retarded. The Hummer is such a retarded status symbol!

Anyway the movie was interesting and entertaining and thought provoking; even if it seemed to side step some of the issues and show them as not being worth discussing. I would have liked more technical facts and less wealthy people telling me how ultimately orgasmic their experience with the ev-1 was. I got the point very quickly that people who had the car loved the car. I did not need to have them beat that into my head.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: A Rambling Review

I would be remiss if I failed to review the biggest movie of the summer. Especially considering I saw it this last weekend. You know..... my drunken all nighter weekend. ;)

Let it be said that I was ready for this movie. As ready as almost any Potter dork could be. I rewatched all 5 of the previous movies. I went out and purchased the 6th book and reread it. Then when that was done I reread the 7th book. Just for good measure. When the movie came out I was totally ready to see it and it was excruciating not to see it on opening day. It was excruciating even knowing that I only had 40 dollars to my name. I had long ago decided to wait until I could see it with my dad and nephew Ricky. So I made myself wait..... Was the movie worth it?



Yes, the movie was worth it. It was not completelty like the book though. Before you pull out your soap box and lecture me about the difficultes of literally translating a 652 page book into a 2 and a half hour movie just hear me out. The begining of the book has the real world British Prime Minister getting a visit from the Minister of Magic. This did not happen in the movie and although I can see easily why this was cut (the British Prime Minister does not help the plot nor does he reappear later) I was still bummed that it didn't happen. I like the book beginning with how the return of an evil wizard has affected the non-magic world. You do see that the magical war is affecting the muggles (what magicals call non-magicals) in the movie but that part of the book was rather amusing. Of course it would probably have been too difficult to pull off because she writes it through the mind of the muggle Prime Minister. So they probably made a good cut to keep the movie flowing. They deviated from the story a little bit in other ways as well and I have decided to discuss a few of them.

Warning! Between the two bolded small paragraphs is an italicized section where I discuss points of the movie. I certainly will be discussing the ending in this area. If you have managed to go this long and are (somehow) unaware of the ending of the book/movie 6 please avoid this section. If you are in the other camp and have read the book and want to watch the movie with out my take on the ending then do not read this section either. After the next bold paragraph will be the review minus the overly revealing plot points.

Harry is distraught at the end of book/movie 5. His godfather is dead and Harry had a small role in bringing Sirius to the ministry where he would eventually be killed. His dreams of a family life and someone who could be like a father to him are over and so we join him at the beginning of book 6 hiding out in his room at the Dursleys. The room is a mess and you get the feeling he has not been out of it often that summer. Dumbledore has warned Harry he would be by to pick him up and escort him to the Burrow (the Weasley's domicile). For whatever reason Harry has taken no precaution to be in any state of readiness for this visit. He has not let his Uncle know and he hasn't packed. It seems we are supposed to realize that the broken promise of a life with Sirius has kind of made him doubt the adults around him. In the movie we find Harry sitting in a coffee shop in the London underground. He is reading the Daily Prophet (with the usually moving pictures) and ends up setting a meeting with a pretty cute waitress. Instead of going on a date that evening Dumbledore arrives and whisks him away to get Slughorn. If you ask me this was a better take on Harry Potter's personality. As far as I am concerned he must feel he has nothing left to lose. A prophecy saying it is he or Voldemort dying as an end to this feud and he death of Sirius would definitey prompt him to start taking risks. So here he is wandering the world that he can't do magic in and reading a magical newspaper. He is acting like someone who has faced and lived through Voldemort's attacks 5 times (at the age of 1, 11, 12, 14, and 15). He went from hero to villain to the chosen one. His life in the magical world has been difficult, challenging, fun and heartbreaking. Even then when he gets back to muggleville he waits feverishly for summer to end and school to resume. It only seems natural that he would be taking a few risks and finding ways to make it a passable summer; one in which he can tempoarily forget the loss of another person.

The next change is that the Hagrid storyline is barely there. In the book, Hagrid is bummed that Hermione, Ron and Harry did not sign up for his care of magical creatures class. Of course most of the last few movies have kind of cut a lot of Hagrid's role. I was perfectly fine with them doing this to tell you the truth as I found the note about Aragog's funeral to be ridiculous. I just couldn't see Hagrid wanting his favorite people risking expulsion to bury a dead spider, no matter how deluded he was about Aragog's personality. Once again the movie gets a silly storyline elimination right. Harry does get the confession from Slughorn after Aragog's funeral but it all comes down to a whim caused by the luck potion he drinks.

Then there is Christmas. In the movie there is a fight outside of the Weasleys' home and the destruction of the burrow. This did not happen in the book. I liked it because I needed a little action at this point and this provided it. Plus I love Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange and I figure more of her taunting is definitely ok. Of course their is no answered questions about how this destruction will affect the 7th movie. It is a safe place in all the books (including the 6th book) and it does not fall under attack until the beginning of the 7th book. So one must wonder what happened directly after the fire and how this loss was resolved. It certainly shatters any delusions of a safe haven for Harry.

They cut out the new minister of magic's appearance and his attempt to woo Harry to his side. I liked this part of the story but I can see cutting it. JK Rowling lays the groundwork here and has this battle of wills a few times in the book only to get rid of him early in the 7th book. He was a character that was not necessary to the plot besides drilling the fact in about how loyal Harry is to Dumbledore. Of course her treatment of how Harry handles the task given to him by Dumbledore (getting Slughorn's secret) sends an opposite message. It says he is all talk and little action. Luckily they treated him digging for the secret differently in this movie. He is watching Malfoy but not as obsessively as in the book and no one is yelling at him to stop neglecting his duty to Dumbledore. That part of the book irritated me and I was glad it was eliminated. Instead, Dumbledore reveals the task much later and after the failed attempt Harry can't get a minute with Slughorn until the trip to Hagrid's. You never get the feeling he isn't trying.

Let's skip to the ending. They played this one completely different. During the book's ending Harry arrives with a weakened Dumbledore to find a dark mark above the school. They get to the tower and Harry is under the invisibility cloak and gets a petrification curse to keep him from interfering at all. Everything happens in front of his eyes but there is no way for him to change anything. The curse is lifted only when Dumbledore dies and then he is running after the Death Eaters through a battlefield of the Order, the DA and more Death Eaters. People know they are under attack and he is running past them screaming at Snape. It was an intense scene and I was amazed that they would completely change it. This time I think the movie makes a mistake. First off in the movie Harry is unfettered by a petrification curse and is not under an invisibility cloak. He is hiding below watching when Snape comes up and shows him the universal "be quiet" gesture (the finger to the lips). Harry puts his trust into Snape; something he has never done in any of the previous movies or books and watches him kill Dumbledore. Then there is no battle raging on, the death mark is only cast after Dumbledore is killed, no one is roaming the halls and the handful of Death Eaters are cackling and breaking goblets in the feast room. Harry does not catch up to them until the field outside of Hagrid's hut. If he wasn't frozen in place what was he doing all that time? He was up and watching it happen not stuck watching something happen without being able to move. It seems to me they changed the dynamic here. Harry should have gotten at least one of the Death Eaters in this altered ending. Plus with the lack of a battle going on how did anyone know to come out to see the body? The battle happened outside and it wasn't much of one. I felt like the final betrayal of Snape in the 6th book was poignant but in the 6th movie it seemed lacking. In the book, Dumbledore is not even able to stand when Snape comes in and kills him. It seems much more like Dumbledore is pleading for help. In the movie it seems like Dumbledore is finishing the argument he and Snape had before the night began. Which in fact is what it was but we have no inkling of that until the end of book 7. Dumbledore looked too confident and in control; evena s he recieves te killing curse. It was way more of an Obi-Wan Kenobi sacrificial ending then an old man defeated. I also missed the chaos of battle that Harry runs through to catch up while attempting to kill Snape. That allowed us to know why it took him so long to catch up. He was ducking killing curses and it had taken a moment to realize he was no longer paralyzed. I also felt that this movie needed a battle at the end as the action was lacking a bit. The various supporting characters really needed to be ready for a fight and then have the blow of losing Dumbledore to properly set the stage for the 7th movie's opening feel. It is always best to end at as low of a point as possible. Instead they seem to been caught unaware and that seems silly. I think having most of the order of the Phoenix, the aurors and a few of the DA roaming the halls trying to protect the school and failing is a better way to set up the impossibility of the task set forth in the 7th book. Instead a small group of people sneak in and kill the main dude in charge and then walk brazenly out the front door unmolested. It was insulting!

They also left a lot of the silliness of the Gryffindor quidditch team tryouts out and just left in Cormac and Ron's face off. I was sad to not see the inanity of kids from other houses coming out to try out with the whole school looking on. Of course, once again, I can see why they did that; it wasn't really necessary for the plot.

They cut out the crazy making out of Harry and Ginny and kept it as just a little kiss here and there. They also left out Harry telling her at the end he is too busy to be in a relationship with her and the whole "it's too dangerous" crap. I liked them leaving it out a little better because I saw it as silly.

And finally.... Harry only uses the invisibility cloak once in this movie which was a little weird. Instead he seems to have inherited a great streak of luck to avoid being caught and the ability to go undetected whenever he decides to.


The review will now go back to being ending obscure.....

The movie begins amidst a troubled time for the world; for magic and non-magic citizens alike. The Death Eaters are active and running amuck and people are afraid regardless if they know what is going on. Of course being a kid you still have to go to school and Harry finds himself back at Hogwarts. Probably one of the few kids who has ever continually looked forward to the start of school. We are introduced to a goofy new character almost immediately, a Professor Slughorn. Slughorn has a key role to play in the movie, the unlocking of secrets, and it falls on Harry's shoulders to make it happen. Except that there is more going on then Slughorn. Snape gets promoted to the Defense Against the Dark Arts post much to the displeasure of most of the students and he seems to be up to something. He makes an unbreakable vow to help Draco Malfoy out in completing a dangerous task he has been given by Voldemort. Harry sees Draco up to no good in Knockturn Alley and decides he must be a Death Eater even though no one believes him. Harry is spending time with Dumbledore learning the secrets of Voldemort's past in adition to his classes. There is a lot going on for Harry this year and yet we haven't even touched on the mystery of who the Half Blood Prince is. The only clue is an inscription in Harry's used Potions book that says "Property of the Half Blood Prince". Is this mysterious person good or bad. Is his help really something Harry should follow so blindly?

The movie is an interestingly dark story and holds true to the spirit of the book if not to the exact letter. Harry is dealing with more and more pressures as his world has once again changed. No longer the outcast he became in the 5th movie after the Daily Prophet's lies about him fabricating the return of Voldemort. He is now being touted as the 'chosen one' and the world is eager to have a piece of him. At the same time he is being asked, by Dumbledore, to be more active in his duties and is meeting with him regularly. He is trying to butter up Professor Slughorn while keeping an eye on Draco, questioning Snape's loyalty, not being believed when he shares his fears about Draco and Snape, captaining the quidditch team, handling his course load, playing intermediary between friends and pining for Ginny (Ron's sister). There is a lot on his plate and the movie does a good job of showing that but not beating us over the head with it. There are some differences between the movie and the book and some are good and only one is completely bad but over all I recommend this movie. Go out and see it today.

The Unlikely Disciple - A Rambling Review

I recently picked up an unlikely book at Barnes and Noble and read a 3rd of it before they closed. It was an unlikely book because it does not fall easily into my usual choices. It was a real story written by a young journalist hopeful. There are no wizards, vampires, zombies or epic sword fights. Instead there is one person's journey into an unknown and bizarre world. The world of the Evangelist college student, a place where few non-Evangelists enter. Anyway I read a third of it before Barnes and Noble announced that the impending closing time had arrived. Fueled by impulse, I walked the book to the counter and bought it. That way I could bring you my rambling review of The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University by Kevin Roose.


Kevin Roose is still in college, at least he was when this book was published. He was a senior at Brown. At the beginning of the book he is attending Browne as well but had been captivated by Liberty University on an excursion with his employer. His employer, A.J. Jacobs, wrote the book The Year of Living Biblically and had taken Kevin along to Jerry Falwell's church Thomas Road. At Thomas Road he had an awkward conversation with a couple college aged church goers. They were attending Liberty University and by extension attended Thomas Road church every Sunday. Liberty University was started by Reverend Jerry Falwell and Thomas Road is on one end of the campus making for easy access. The school has a strict set of rules built around keeping the students from the evils of secular colleges (you know... all the fun stuff). The more Kevin reflected on his awkward conversation the more he began to be interested in the vast divide between Evangelists and most of American society. Suddenly he felt the urge to experience Liberty first hand and enrolls in the school. He had to pave the way for this move with Brown University, his Quaker parents and a group of family and friends that think he might be making the biggest mistake of his life.

Luckily for us, Kevin eventually got everything set up to go to Liberty for a semester. He decided that he needed to be undercover for the assignment to work and he concocted a story about recently becoming an Evangelist. With the help of a friend, who had been raised in an Evangelist household, he prepped as much as possible for his adventure. It was a good thing he had thought about it ahead of time because almost immediately people asked about his religious beliefs and if he had been saved. Expecting the worst stereotypes to be made flesh, Kevin is surprised at the warm welcome he receives. He actively pursues the lifestyle he is trying to investigate. In doing so, he says yes to prayer groups, bible studies, mentor meetings with a pastor, and even becomes part of the Thomas Road choir. Along the way he makes friends, meets a fun and enticing girl, attends a group for men that encourages them to battle against masturbation, goes to Panama Beach during spring break with a group determined to proselytize to the drunken debaucherous masses and gets the last print interview with Rev. Jerry Falwell.

Of course not all is fun and light at this university. Immediately he runs into homophobic slurs and attitudes. He witnesses a racial divide when a black friend begins dating a white girl. He has a roommate who starts to intensely dislike him; to the point where I began to wonder if he was safe sharing a room with the guy. Worst of all he begins to have severe guilt about lying to all these people he is growing closer to. Not to mention a severely worried family and an intense questioning of his spiritual beliefs. Add all that together and you have a big stress cloud hovering over Kevin.

All of these interesting little twists and turns makes for a good read and Kevin Roose is a great narrator and guide. His introspection and quest for understanding really help you see the complexity of the situation he finds himself in. I definitely recommend this book and can loan it to the next person who asks because I have a copy sitting right next to me.

3 Rambling Reviews; 1 Blog

I recently went on a 3-D movie kick. The movie Up and Coraline are both viewable in 3-D and so I went. I figured I would review them tonight. In addition I would like to review a third movie that I saw that was not in 3-d but was very enjoyable. Let's start with Up.

The movie Up spent a great deal of time being slightly depressing. I almost started bawling within the first 20 minutes of the film! The movie is about an old man who set big dreams with his wife but in the course of living a life they never pursued them. The wife passes away and he is left in a world ready to leave him behind. He is the last holdout in a neighborhood that is being developed into some mega-structure. A little thorn in the side of someone dressed in a suit with dreams of making money hand over fist and is building around this old man hoping he can take a hint. In a weird twist the old man ends up being declared a menace to society and is being shipped off to Shady Acres a retirement community that sounds like a cemetery. In a last defiant step the old guy fills his house with balloons and floats his house toward South America. Unfortunately he has a guest a local scout that is determined to earn a 'helping the elderly' badge even though the old man doesn't want his help. Either way they are stuck on this floating house and end up in the South American spot he and his wife dreamed of visiting. Except not exactly. They land on the wrong side of the Plateau and he and the boy scout set off to get to the other side. Along the way the old guy runs into a childhood hero who should be dead or at least way older then the old guy but he isn't because then who would be the villain? The old hero dude is a kook who lives with hundreds of talking dogs. The talking dogs were awesome because the film makers remembered that they were at the base level dogs. They get distracted easily and are really easy to keep happy. Anyway the old hero/crazy guy is looking for a bird that the scout befriended and he is willing to kill to acquire this bird. So an all out race breaks out between the old guy, the scout, the bird, and one dorky misfit dog versus hundreds of dogs and a crazy old guy in a Hindenburg looking blimp. It was quite fun even though it has probably the most bitter sweet and heart breaking beginning. I recommend it, especially in 3-D!

That brings us to Coraline. Coraline is a stop motion animation about a girl who is not entirely happy with her life. Her mom is too busy and her dad is busy and weird. They have recently moved from Detroit to a place in the country and she seems alone. Of course there is a weird neighbor kid and strange apartment neighbors but nobody she wants to be with. I did not really get the sense that she was unhappy but apparently later in the movie it is the basis for all the events that take place. The weird neighbor kid brings an old doll that looks like Coraline and some how that doll is a link between her world and an alternate reality. In the alternate reality the mom is sweet, attentive and quite a cook. The father is a musician... kind of, and a garden virtuoso... kind of. Her weird neighbor friend is not a talker in this world and her strange neighbors are talented performers. It seems perfect except for the creepy button eyes all these alternate characters sport. hey all seem good natured in an evil sort of way and sure enough they are evil. This was a fun 3-D movie. Not a half bad effort by the new studios from the Knight family (Nike people). I liked it but I also didn't. I have seen better stop motion movies but the 3-D bridged the gap. See this in 3-D if at all possible.

So I was sitting here thinking, "Why aren't all movies in 3-D?" The 3-D was amazing and added a lot to these movies. I do not know much about 3-D but I certainly hope they continue to expand it's uses. It was quite a treat. Next up in 3-D land as far as I know is a U2 concert movie. I will check it out and report back on the real world 3-D versus the animation 3-D. Whenever it comes to theaters near me.

I wasn't quite done with the movie kick after seeing Coraline. I wanted to see another movie and take advantage of the Living Room Theater's 5 dollar Tuesday pricing. Coraline was regular price. No... it was more expensive because of the novelty of 3-D. 12 bucks expensive... but so was Up. But in Up I kept the glasses. Anyway I had seen a preview while I was drinking beer and waiting for Coraline to start. It had Steve Zahn, Woody Harrelson, and Jennifer Aniston in it. The movie is called Management. It is a romantic comedy and quite a good one actually. Jennifer Aniston plays a lonely corporate art salesman, named Sue, who is traveling through Kingman, AZ. In Kingman she is a guest of The Kingman Inn a little motel owned by a family. The son Mike, played by Steve Zahn, is instantly interested in Sue. He awkwardly makes his moves and despite herself she indulges him. Apparently feeling this is over and done she is surprised when Mike flies out to Maryland where she lives. Strangely she allows him to hang out for a day before giving him bus fair and sending him back to Kingman. Her work brings her back to Kingman.... conveniently. She hangs with Mike all day and then flies to Seattle. Mike gets his gumption up to try gain and discovers she has moved to Washington to be with her ex-boyfriend Jango. Jango, played by Woody Harrelson, is an ex-Punk....as in Punk rock guy and kind of strange. Mike tries to show her that he is the guy for him but she chooses Jango and his palacial estate, dogs and corporate yogurt franchise. It is weird to see two movies in a week where one character in the movie is obsessed wit dogs and has a lot of them. Anyway the movie is a romantic comedy and I am fairly certain you know the vague idea of what happens next. The movie is cute, funny and sweet. It also scores some great shots of Portland's Japanese Gardens in it that are being used for a Buddhist Monastery. Anyway go see this movie about the little weirdo, stalker, loser guy that could.

Speaking of Buddhist Monks I saw some monks doing a book signing when I was in Powell's between movies. It was strange to then have monks be a part of the Management movie.

A Rambling Review of Fired Up!

Some times you think you are getting the 5th installment and you are. Sometimes you think you are getting the fifth installment and your dreams come crashing down. The Guest Room is on Winter Hiatus.... I learned this term from watching TV.

Today we will bring you a review! I wanted to go to the beer theater, I really did. Unfortunately all they had were movies I had seen and movies I am not real kicked in the pants excited about. So I decided not to see a movie. I was humbly sitting here in my apartment staring at the wall, it was a very exciting wall. Then I decided to get online and check my email.... for the 70th time this weekend. You never call, you never write... but I digress.

That was when inspiration struck. I saw an ad about cheerleaders and two guys that want to get to know cheerleaders. I rushed over to the movie listings and saw the movie was playing at the theater on the other side of the tracks. So I grabbed my switchblade, my lucky strikes and my leather jacket and I tough danced my way to the theater! I was walking, I was was walking! I was going to see the movie Fired Up!



This movie did not do it for a good majority of the movie critics out there. Most of them used words like tepid, tired, and cheap imitation. They also used words like rampant misogyny and bikini-clad babes. If this was not a sign that this movie was destined to be seen by me then nothing is. I hate critics, my two loyal fans know that. Their tepid, tired and cheap imitation responses are what made me feel like a bikini-clad babe! Wait... a brunette in the third row? A rampant misogynist? Oh crap! I have no idea what their stupid reviews made me feel besides the urge to see the movie. I went because they told me not to bother.

I am glad I did. I was in a theater with maybe three other people while a line waited outside for Coraline. OUTSIDE! In the rain and cold! ARE YOU FREAKING INSANE! I can't even wait at a crowded restaurant or a hot club filled with adorable girls, I sure is heck am not waiting outside for a freaking movie about a puppet. So anyway I was in the theater with maybe three other people. Which meant that I had a primo spot, the better to fill the room with my boisterous laughter. Which I did on several occasions. I have no idea if people around me enjoyed this movie but I did.

What is this movie about? Two star football players have the run of the school and all the ladies within. Then they find out that their football camp will take place in Texas this year instead of the beaches of Florida. This is a crisis of mega stupendous proportions, these two do not want to go and sweat out the summer with a bunch of guys with no women in sight. So while they lament there misfortune they stumble on to every heterosexual man's fantasy. Even if the man sitting next to you denies this fantasy, because maybe he never really gave it much thought, realize that if he gives it much thought he would be on board with this fantasy. The fantsy of infiltrating a cheerleader camp to make out with cheerleaders. Of course the head cheerleader at their school is actually not stupid and recognizes these two are up to something right away. Sadly that does not matter nor does it stop them joining the team and heading to cheerleading camp. (The scene where they get out of going to football camp was great.) While at camp the two guys begin running their game until one of them realizes he actuallly only has eyes for the head cheerleader. Unfortunately, she has a boyfriend who is secretly a jerk, although he isn't very secretive about it. Somewhere along the way the guy realizes he likes the girl enough to stop playing the field and both football jocks realize they kind of like cheerleading.... This is not a Whodunit, there are no plot twists. This is a straight up "men are scum, then one scumbag falls in love, wishes he wasn't scum, gets caught in his scummy plan and is told to leave, he leaves but secretly doesn't want to, then he and his scum friend have a heart to heart and decide they actually like said thing that scum plan was based around, they go back, scum guy with a heart redeems himself from scumdom at the last minute and gets the girl in the end" story. A typical teen comedy that manages to make fun of cheerleaders, cheerleader movies, and football players. Yeah so this is not breaking new ground, but it's funny. It really was, I was constantly laughing at little random things that happened. I liked what they did, I liked what happened and I just let the movie roll, unchecked. I don't feel like a better person for having seen this movie. I do not understand more about humanity. I am not affected by a random cause to near action. I saw a movie I had a good laugh and I wrote a review. Who doesn't need a good laugh?

The particulars: This is billed as a teen sex comedy. Which means that there is a lot of innuendo and people in underwear. There was no nudity, no drug use, no blood and guts. Just a little foul language, lingerie and sex jokes.

My TV converter and a Rambling Review of Friday the 13th

Well it was a slow weekend for me. I spent most of Valentine's day watching TV and doing homework. Today I decided I was going to go out and do something.... and before I knew it, it was 9 PM. I am not sure how that happens but it happens a lot when I have no plans and nothing to do. I decided around 6 PM that I would see a movie tonight. Now that it was 9 PM I realized I needed to get going. I had a quick errand to run before I spent time staring at a movie screen. I had to return some movies to Hollywood Video that were rented while Maryann was here. Which meant they were at least a day late and I did not need them to get any later. Hollywood Video is right next to the grocery store and I wanted to get some Valentine's candy on sale, I love discounted holiday candy. On the way in to the store I saw a sale on the digital converter boxes. Instead of $55.00 it was $40.00, the exact amount of the government coupon. I ran out to my car, got the coupon and bought the box, along with a box of chocolates and a mini m&m's cupid figure. Knowing I was running out of time to have a wide selection of movies I headed over to the theater. When I got there I was too late to see the movie I had planned to see, Push. I looked at the available movie times and decided quickly on a second movie, bought a ticket and headed in. I wish I had taken an extra minute to decide....

Now for a review of Friday the 13th



I am sure you know the rough semblance of the story, even if you have never seen one of these movie. Some dude in a hockey mask loves slaughtering naughty teenagers. Of course it was not always the hockey mask guy slaughtering people. In the first movie it was Jason's mother killing the horny camp counselors. You see mommy dearest sent her disfigured/retarded son, Jason, to Camp Crystal Lake. In an amazing move of incompetence the camp counselors are too busy fornicating to see that Jason is drowning. Mommy dearest gets her revenge for her son's death by slaughtering a whole group of new counselors who had nothing to do with the death of her son. Nothing like a little justice! How exactly Jason came about to star as the silent killer of the whole mess of sequels, considering he dies in the first movie, is a little beyond me. It makes no sense but I say stop worrying about the illogicalness (technical words are what I am about) of it all. Just accept that Jason, the dead kid, is now Jason the giant, hulking, machete wielding, hockey mask sporting killer we all love.

OK... so this is a sequel then right? Another movie towards Jason's never ending list of movies? Nope. In yet another bewildering move that makes you wonder what is wrong with Hollywood, this is a retelling. I am not sure what is going on but it seems that every year there is another Horror movie being redone. Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes and The Omen are a few that pop into mind. So Friday the 13th is not the first to get the reshoot treatment. It is weird that this is happening because it doesn't seem like they are old enough to get the new spin.... I hear that the next movie redub being tossed around is the Nightmare on Elm Street series. They are going to relaunch Freddy.... either way that is not my review today. I am focusing on Friday the 13th and that is why I wanted you to know the original movie was a tale of a mother seeking revenge for the death of her son.

I was curious when I heard this movie was coming out and even more curious when I saw that it had a hockey mask toting, machete wielding fiend in the ads. I wondered aloud if they had decided to do without the mom aspect. I had a chance to see this movie on Monday the 9th for free as part of a preview audience. I declined the chance because my sister was in town and this is not her type of movie. I still wanted to see the movie though. So when I missed Push's start time I pulled the trigger on this movie. The movie starts with a girl running through the wilderness and you can tell she is scared. She is limping along and using something as a crutch but you can't tell what because of the camera work. You know, the shaky cam that I can't stand. Then we hear Jason's mama giving her the "You let my boy die" lecture right before she lunges at the girl who is pleading and crying that she was not responsible for Jason's death. Of course the girl uses her crutch to chop off Jason's moms head at the last second. The crutch was a machete, apparently. As the opening credits roll we see little hands scavenge a locket from the mother's body and run off with the abandoned machete as well. Apparently that was Jason and he had been there to witness his mother's demise. Oh no! YAWN!!!!

We pick up with a group of rejects camping out in the abandoned camp area. They get killed pretty quickly, all except one girl who we never see die. YAWN!!!

The "possibly not dead" girl's brother is looking for her and he meets a bunch of new rejects headed to a rich kids parents cabin. The rich kid is a jerk and we want a great death scene for him immediately. YAWN!!! Unfortunately the death scene he gets is stupid and not worth it. In fact most of the deaths were just kind of... boring. I started yawning in the middle of the movie. I was suddenly wishing that I had waited to see this movie at the beer theaters... At least then I could have had a beer and made the movie viewing worthwhile.

I am sure you can guess how the movie went... people died then other people went looking for those dead people and then they died. All of this is something I expected in a Friday the 13th move but usually I get a laugh or two at the absurdity of the death. This movie used the fame of the series and the date to make a few bucks on a movie that made the schlocky precursors look fun, exciting and intelligent. I am seriously offended that the movie was this boring and that I spent more time wishing I had seen Confessions of A Shopaholic then paying attention to the screen. I can't stop you from seeing this movie and I am not trying too.... I am just hoping you go in expecting a suckfest. It was like Michael Bay tried to inject realism into an unrealistic flick.... totally not worth it.

Luckily I had the converter and the candy in my car to look forward too. I now have several free stations to watch and I am very happy. I am watching OPB Nature programming.... there are like 4 OPB stations. The picure looks great!

The Rambling Review of The Hammer

School is annoying! WAH! Cry me a freaking river! Yeah, yeah. I should thank my lucky stars I am in school racking up enormous levels of debt. Boo hoo! OK I am done crying about school for a little while. Thanks for all the empathy and compassion you lot showed me. I hope your milk goes bad before you can use it all.

I am back to reviewing movies... why can't someone pay me for this? Anyway this movie came out last year and never really made a huge run of it but the reviews are pretty positive. Almost all the reviews seem to share one common factor: they are amazed Adam Carolla can act. I am a fan of Adam Carolla and every chance I get I listen to his radio show. I was fully aware that The Hammer was coming out and I had planned to see the movie but it slipped by anyhow. To say I was completely coherent and observant during the last year would be a lie. I spent a good majority of the time avoiding thinking about the impending doom of my job loss and then I spent an entire summer on bar hopping, sun soaking and beer drinking. It was fabulous. So I missed this movie's run at the box office. Luckily for me I have friends. The friend I need to thank in particular is Cat. Not because I think she will ever read this review (because she won't) but because she saw this move and knew me enough to get me a copy. You see Cat likes listening to Adam Carolla and unlike me, (who never manages to turn on a radio before 10 AM) she gets to hear a moment or two of Adam Carolla's radio show most mornings. He began announcing the release of his movie and a special offer to autograph any copies that were sent to him. Cat bought a few copies and sent them directly to him. She bought a copy for me and sent my copy of The Hammer to be autographed. I recieved the movie in January but I just saw this movie tonight. I am not so good on the follow through.... my bad. Anyway this long intro is over and now I bring you, without further delay, my review of The Hammer.



A pathetic but supposedly skilled carpenter, that is down on his luck, stumbles into a second shot for a boxing career. His left is dropping blows of amazing force that soon catches a boxing trainers eye. With a little bad luck at his current job and a promise of a new future our 40 year old hero, played by Adam Carolla, decides to give boxing another shot. He begins training with 2 other Olympic hopefuls including one that is gunning for the same weight division. The young gun is threatened by the old carpenter and is inspired to train harder. The carpenter uses the young kids taunts to drive him harder and we see this old funny guy has heart, guts and determination. Never to be out cliched Carolla's hero is plagued by a previous boxing career that went down in flames due to his own lack of ambition. To add the twist the trainer who gives him his second chance has devious plans that are less concerned with this old guys future then with milking him for free training for his young star. Haunted by his past it seems he is always ready to give up and stick with his self imposed label of a loser. Even when his new girl, best friend (Ozzy) and sparring partner/top rival tell him not too.

This was a nice story of a come back kid, who has wised up a bit as he aged. Some dreams are worth fighting for (pardon the pun) and sometimes it takes a moment to find the right dreams to fight for. Being a fan of the Adam Carolla show I know this was shot on a pretty small budget but it is not cheesy nor overly pathetic. I knew the likely flow of the story before it happened but I still enjoyed the ride. I would recommend checking out The Hammer for those in the mood for an underdog movie, a sports comedy or a romantic comedy. It has a little bit of everything. This movie is not awesome but it's good, entertaining and delivers on all the heart warming moments you need.

P.S. Keep an eye out for the Nicaraguan star, Ozzy. He steals every single scene he is in.