Monday, February 23, 2009

A Rambling Review of Fired Up!

Some times you think you are getting the 5th installment and you are. Sometimes you think you are getting the fifth installment and your dreams come crashing down. The Guest Room is on Winter Hiatus.... I learned this term from watching TV.

Today we will bring you a review! I wanted to go to the beer theater, I really did. Unfortunately all they had were movies I had seen and movies I am not real kicked in the pants excited about. So I decided not to see a movie. I was humbly sitting here in my apartment staring at the wall, it was a very exciting wall. Then I decided to get online and check my email.... for the 70th time this weekend. You never call, you never write... but I digress.

That was when inspiration struck. I saw an ad about cheerleaders and two guys that want to get to know cheerleaders. I rushed over to the movie listings and saw the movie was playing at the theater on the other side of the tracks. So I grabbed my switchblade, my lucky strikes and my leather jacket and I tough danced my way to the theater! I was walking, I was was walking! I was going to see the movie Fired Up!

This movie did not do it for a good majority of the movie critics out there. Most of them used words like tepid, tired, and cheap imitation. They also used words like rampant misogyny and bikini-clad babes. If this was not a sign that this movie was destined to be seen by me then nothing is. I hate critics, my two loyal fans know that. Their tepid, tired and cheap imitation responses are what made me feel like a bikini-clad babe! Wait... a brunette in the third row? A rampant misogynist? Oh crap! I have no idea what their stupid reviews made me feel besides the urge to see the movie. I went because they told me not to bother.

I am glad I did. I was in a theater with maybe three other people while a line waited outside for Coraline. OUTSIDE! In the rain and cold! ARE YOU FREAKING INSANE! I can't even wait at a crowded restaurant or a hot club filled with adorable girls, I sure is heck am not waiting outside for a freaking movie about a puppet. So anyway I was in the theater with maybe three other people. Which meant that I had a primo spot, the better to fill the room with my boisterous laughter. Which I did on several occasions. I have no idea if people around me enjoyed this movie but I did.

What is this movie about? Two star football players have the run of the school and all the ladies within. Then they find out that their football camp will take place in Texas this year instead of the beaches of Florida. This is a crisis of mega stupendous proportions, these two do not want to go and sweat out the summer with a bunch of guys with no women in sight. So while they lament there misfortune they stumble on to every heterosexual man's fantasy. Even if the man sitting next to you denies this fantasy, because maybe he never really gave it much thought, realize that if he gives it much thought he would be on board with this fantasy. The fantsy of infiltrating a cheerleader camp to make out with cheerleaders. Of course the head cheerleader at their school is actually not stupid and recognizes these two are up to something right away. Sadly that does not matter nor does it stop them joining the team and heading to cheerleading camp. (The scene where they get out of going to football camp was great.) While at camp the two guys begin running their game until one of them realizes he actuallly only has eyes for the head cheerleader. Unfortunately, she has a boyfriend who is secretly a jerk, although he isn't very secretive about it. Somewhere along the way the guy realizes he likes the girl enough to stop playing the field and both football jocks realize they kind of like cheerleading.... This is not a Whodunit, there are no plot twists. This is a straight up "men are scum, then one scumbag falls in love, wishes he wasn't scum, gets caught in his scummy plan and is told to leave, he leaves but secretly doesn't want to, then he and his scum friend have a heart to heart and decide they actually like said thing that scum plan was based around, they go back, scum guy with a heart redeems himself from scumdom at the last minute and gets the girl in the end" story. A typical teen comedy that manages to make fun of cheerleaders, cheerleader movies, and football players. Yeah so this is not breaking new ground, but it's funny. It really was, I was constantly laughing at little random things that happened. I liked what they did, I liked what happened and I just let the movie roll, unchecked. I don't feel like a better person for having seen this movie. I do not understand more about humanity. I am not affected by a random cause to near action. I saw a movie I had a good laugh and I wrote a review. Who doesn't need a good laugh?

The particulars: This is billed as a teen sex comedy. Which means that there is a lot of innuendo and people in underwear. There was no nudity, no drug use, no blood and guts. Just a little foul language, lingerie and sex jokes.

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