Friday, June 09, 2006

A Rambling Review of The Brown Bunny

Warning: This movie review is of an incredibly bad movie with a controversial scene. I give a synopsis of the entire movie including the ending..... So you might want to prepare yourself.

I was told by some guy on one of the many websites I visit that I needed to see Brown Bunny. Having Netflix I figured why not? If it is even half as good as that guy said it was it would be worth it..... So I requested it and watched it.... here is my review of The Brown Bunny.

Some of you may have heard of Vincent Gallo. He is a guy that seems to think of himself as a genius. He writes, directs, act, photographs, paints, races motorcycles professionally, musician, metal worker, sculptor, model, t-shirts salesman, and he even sells himself. Some people adore him and some people can't understand how he has gotten so damn rich. I am one of the latter group members. I think this guy is ridiculous. I have been told by fans that this is his whole point. He is mocking society with his jerk persona and his pointless movies. Whatever. The resume of his makes me wonder what scheme he is pulling over on us and every once in a while I watch something he mad and I regret it. The first time was the critically acclaimed Buffalo '66. I think I must have gotten a different copy then the critics did. That movie made me wish I had died it was so boring. Knowing all this why did I bother? Simple I forgot who this guy is. If I had watched a clip of this movie and seen him and equated him to Buffalo '66 I would have never requested this movie. You may remember that this is the movie that Mr. Ebert said was a horrible awful waste of time which inspired good ol' Vince to say that he hoped Ebert would get colon cancer and die. Yeah... maybe that might jog the memory. These are things I wish I had remembered YESTERDAY!

I'm Vincent Gallo and I'm scary, creepy and lame!

So here is the movie because no one should ever watch this movie ever. A motorcycle racer has a race, does he win? I have no friggin clue. He loads his bike into his black panel van and drives to a gas station. He begs the counter chick to go with him to California and she finally gives in. Then while he sends her into grab her stuff from home he leaves without her. Then we see him drive and look depressed. 30 minutes later he is still driving and looking depressed. An incredibly long time goes on with him driving, looking depressed and occasionally stopping. In one of his stops he talks to old people about some chick named 'Daisy'. In another stop he makes out with some random chick (Cheryl Tiegs) at a rest stop and then looks depressed and leaves her. Then he is in Las Vegas and he drives around stopping and talking to hookers and then driving on. One hooker he goes back for. He takes her to a McDonald's drive-thru and then starts looking depressed again. He stops the car, kicks her out, gives her money and drives off. Looking depressed and driving again. He has a flashback of 'Daisy' a couple of times and then he is in Los Angeles. He drives to a house which seems to belong to 'Daisy'. He knocks on the door for like ten minutes and then leaves a note. Then he goes to his hotel room and lays around looking depressed. Then 'Daisy' shows up. Daisy is played by Chloe Sevigny. They talk and he looks depressed. She does lots of drugs and they talk more. Then they make out and we have THE SCENE. Then we find out she is not realy there because she is dead and it's all his fault. They were at a party where she ends up getting raped while she was passed out and he did not stop it or help her. She choked on her own vomit. We then see him crying and then the next scene is Vince driving again and looking depressed. Then the movie is over.

I referred to THE SCENE earlier. If you do not know what I am referring to Google The Brown Bunny.... Or I could just tell you. Good ol' Vince receives 'Monica Lewinsky' for like ever from Chloe. Honest to goodness porn quality 'Monica Lewinsky' and still I would say there is no reason in the world to ever see this flick. The scene inspired a pretty funny shirt though.

I think what I am trying to say is don't watch this movie. Did that come across at all? If you want to watch Vincent look depressed for two hours and still have relations I guess this movie might be for you.

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