Tuesday, April 07, 2009

The Guest Room pt. 9

It had been nearly a week since Joshua had arrived in Flagstaff. Dave had not said a word about New Mexico. He had simply went about his regular business; computer work he did from his home office. He put out two plates of food at each meal even if Joshua was not up to coming down the hall to eat. Joshua felt as if he was in limbo. He knew Dave was just waiting for the word, he was ready. Joshua wasn't. The downtime he had endured after the accident had allowed him to think. He wished he hadn't had the luxury. He had been overwhelmed by fears of the unknown becoming his worst nightmare. The fear of finding out what happened was paralyzing. He couldn't talk about it and he sure couldn't move forward. Part of him wondered if he truly needed to know what had happened to Sarah; she was gone after all. He knew this was just his fear and vulnerability talking. He knew that he would never truly sleep until he knew what happened and could lay her to rest.

Knowing that he needed to do it had not driven him to get it done. There was so much he had to take care of medically before he could do what he needed to do in New Mexico. He was getting used to moving awkwardly and his breaks, cracks and sprains were hurting him less each day. In fact, unless he did something incredibly stupid his ribs hardly hurt him. Unfortunately incredibly stupid things were done at least once a day. The doctor had advised he rest for at least 6 weeks to heal the ribs and broken leg; he was currently amidst the second week and going crazy. His ankle needed anywhere from 4 to 8 weeks to heal. He had been looking at Web MD hoping to find better news about the time it would take to be fully mobile but had been disappointed when the information provided had coincided with the doctor's predictions. He had no idea why he had thought it would be different, he was just hoping it was. He had definitely done a number on himself. He often wished he could see what his car had looked like after the accident. It must have been ugly.

The court case was a little bit of a stress as well but Tom was true to his word and was on top of it. Tom had made an offer to the prosecutor to lower the DUI to something less notorious and so far the offer was still on the table. Joshua's rates would probably go up but a lesser offense was a world better then a bogus DUI charge. DUI's stayed with you forever and required a lot of extra paper work. To have a DUI without being intoxicated seemed incredibly unfair. He sighed at the thought and turned back to the window. He watched the elderly man ride his scooter out to check the mail; there seemed to be another day of no mail for the old man. He wondered what the man had been hoping for. He closed his eyes on that world of possibilities.


Joshua saw her that night. She was outside his window just staring at him. There was no emotion on her face but Joshua felt as if she was calling to him somehow. Screaming for him; psychically reaching for him. He woke up screaming her name. He attempted to move toward the window, forgetting his body's condition. He fell hard to the ground and pain shot through him but he kept crawling toward the window and pulled himself up to see her in the window. He stood there looking out; searching for her. It took him several minutes to realize that she had been in his dream. Sarah was not standing outside wating for him.

His heart was racing and his breath came in fast bursts that sent pain shooting through his body. The door was thrown open and a half awake Dave rushed in holding a pistol. He looked at Joshua and nodded. "I'll pack the car. We'll leave at dawn." Dave turned and left the room.

Joshua felt the hot tears bubble to the surface and send hot rivulets streaming down his cheeks. He was broken in more ways then one.

No comments: