It's past my bedtime.
It's past my bedtime and I just put in a movie.
The movie is an old standby. Pump Up The Volume. I am not sure exactly where my fascination with this movie comes from. I do have some form of an idea. I saw this movie in high school and, according to contemporary wisdom, that was when you form your identity. The music you listened to and the movies you saw become your favorites and follow you through life. That is fine and dandy but I really don't listen to a huge menagerie of old music that I pretended to like then. I also only have a handful of movies that I keep going back to. So what is it about this movie in particular?
Honestly? I think it started with the fact that my mother saw me watching it and heartily disapproved. In fact, I had to re-rent this movie to see the end a little later. Then I purchased it on VHS and kept it a secret. I have since upgraded to DVD because nobody should still be watching VHS. This movie is filled with bad words, sexual content and a nice looking topless girl. As much as that makes me love it, I don't think it is the reason I consider it one of my favorite movies ever. It's not even a guilty pleasure. I am not ashamed to love this movie because it really is damn good. One reason I like it is that it deals with the desperation and pursuit people feel to be relevant. It is focused on the teens and I identified with it then but I really identified with it during my meandering 20's. So far my rough riding 30's has not improved much and I still feel trapped and frustrated. My outlook is one of perpetual frustration. I am not sure why I feel that way. It seems like maybe I put too much faith in the next thing instead of embracing the here and now. Either way this movie does help remind me that I can do something and I can change my personal situation. Thus the movie about being stuck in a hard situation and finding a way to fight back, to rally back, is very appealing.
This movie made me want to become a pirate radio station DJ. I don't know why I never wanted to do the legit radio thing... I don't know why breaking the FCC laws, albeit a stupid set of laws, is so appealing, but it is. I tried to start an audio podcast at one point but kept running out of things to talk about. Once again I put it out there that I would willingly do a podcast again if someone was interested in being a co-host. Somebody to talk to and bounce ideas off of. We could make it weekly or even bi-weeekly. We could even have a few adult beverages as we did so. Of course that might cause it to be a little more profane....
Anyway.... it seems that my rebellion these days is confined to starting movies after my bed time and depriving myself of needed sleep. Talk about a rebel.