Am I the only one who found I was unable to watch the news replay the entire coverage of the terrorist attack? I saw it all almost as it happened and I was glued to the television for weeks after. I sometimes think that tragedy is the reason I never make it through the news any more. It was like I watched enough news coverage for a life time.
I feel like I experienced the tragedy a little harder then those around me, I am talking about my immediate circle, because it was during one of my many periods of unemployment. That means I soaked in the tragedy in a non-stop viewing because I had nothing else to do. In fact, I had an interview that day and I even went to it. I dressed up in a tie and showed up feeling dazed and out of it. While I waited I watched the news reports on their television. During the interview we even talked about it. When I left I listened to the radio and when I got home I watched even more coverage. I found myself with friends watching it and over at my families house watching it. I was living and breathing a disaster.
It was terrible watching the footage over and over again. Seeing them circle those trapped people who decided to jump before starting the footage again. Watching that f'n second plane crash into the other tower. Watching both of them collapse. Seeing the people evacuating the area. I remember feeling super powerless and I had a burning need to do something. To help. To strike back. How do you help when you have no money to travel and donate time? I was a breath away from joining the armed forces. I never did because what I really wanted to do was go there and help the survivors and hopefully help find some alive in the wreckage. I never really figured out how to make that happen. Of course seeing how the government has treated those brave people, who could and did help, makes me count my blessings. I could be dying from the toxic fumes right now as a lot of those first responders are. I also feel lucky that I did not join the armed forces because it seems they pulled a bait and switch. We wanted to find those who did this and exact justice but that was not what happened. The mission became tainted for other reasons that I still do not understand. Nearly 10 years after he organized that terrorist attack we finally got Bin Laden but he was able to live in a place that was not very secretive for who knows how long and masturbate to American porn films. I am glad he is dead. If that makes me terrible... so be it.
I tried to watch the memorial coverage today and the people who actually lost people to that day were inspiring. They are so strong, it is amazing. Unfortunately they couldn't just stick with that. They had to show their coverage of the event in it's entirety and that felt overwhelming. I feel so bad for the people directly affected by this. They must go through hell every time the anniversary comes around. To have to relive that terrible day every year. I know it is part of history but I think I need a little more time to pass before I will be comfortable watching the footage. I don't even know anyone who died as a result of it, so I can onlyimagine how thise that do feel. I wish the news could focus on the survivors and how they are doing and what help we, as a nation can offer them.
I am shocked that we are not taking care of the first responders. I am happy that CNN did a special with Sanjay Gupta about what was in the dust. I recorded it and will be viewing it later this week. Hopefully it helps us get our government's butts in gear! I hope we can figure out how to take care of all those affected by this tragedy and I decided I needed to do something so I included a few links in this post. I am sure there are more out there so if you know of one please leave it in the comments or email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
A few organizations that are trying to help:
This site had a few more links to look at: