I was on the freeway heading South again. I watched as signs foretold of an impending turn off for Mt. St Helens. A place where a mountain's dramatic and earth shattering event changed everything around it. I felt like killing Shawn had been my personal Mt. St. Helens. I felt a sudden irritation at my own thoughts for feeling guilty for ending the life of such a scumbag. Unfortunately I could not stop feeling regret and remorse for my actions no matter how justified they seemed to me at the time and even now. I was fighting for my life and like any other cornered animal I attacked, caused damage and ran away. Life is like that sometimes, you are forced to make a decision and then live with regret. Of course this was a bit more complicated then any decision I had faced before. The St. Helens turn off told me it was the next right and I found myself steering the motorcycle toward the off ramp. I drove through a town that I was not entirely sure I had caught the name of, despite the turn off signs and the town welcome sign, and kept driving. Finally I parked at The Johnson Ridge Observatory paid my... actually Shawn's 8 bucks..... and headed into learn.
After seeing the videos and reading things I was ready to stretch my legs and I headed up a mainly treeless hill to get some better views of the still smoking volcano. The devastation of that blast was still present as you looked at hills covered in trees and then you looked were you stood and at the volcano and saw very little plant life. I stood there thinking about what it might be like to have been swept up in that destructive wave and that moment of reverie was costly. I felt the jab in my back before I realized I was not surrounded by friendly looking tourists. It was that man I had seen as I left Shawn's place. The man who was in that van, the one I hoped I would never see again.
He didn't talk at all just used whatever was jabbed into my back to guide me further along the path. I tried to stay stoic and quiet too but my brain went into autopilot and I started voicing every idea I had about the volcano as we walked. I talked about everything I had learned at the visitor's center. I told him about the survivors and what I thought that must have been like to survive. I kept talking and asking questions he did not attempt to answer. It was inane chatter and I was not sure I would ever stop. That was until I said "I don't have the money. I keep telling you jackals that but you think torture and fear inspiring tactics will cause me to crap out a golden egg. It won't happen. If your bosses want the money they will have to wait like sane people. I have some money in my pocket I could offer as a first payment...." I kind of peetered out at this point, the words had dried up.
It was at this point that my captor decided I needed to face plant and he shot his foot out and gave me a quick shove to prevent me from correcting the fall. I hit hard and knew I was going to bruise. For some odd reason my reaction was to laugh. It was at this point that I was introduced to another foot. I hated my inappropriate urge to laugh in terrible circumstances. I sat there not crying out and no longer laughing as I caught my breath. He dragged me back up to a standing position and started guiding me with his gun again. I was a little bit slower now and he finally began to talk " I thon't care tho mush. Money ith your ithue with the botheth! Now walk!" I suppressed my giggle and then silently congratulated myself.
The self congratulations made me giggle....
After seeing the videos and reading things I was ready to stretch my legs and I headed up a mainly treeless hill to get some better views of the still smoking volcano. The devastation of that blast was still present as you looked at hills covered in trees and then you looked were you stood and at the volcano and saw very little plant life. I stood there thinking about what it might be like to have been swept up in that destructive wave and that moment of reverie was costly. I felt the jab in my back before I realized I was not surrounded by friendly looking tourists. It was that man I had seen as I left Shawn's place. The man who was in that van, the one I hoped I would never see again.
He didn't talk at all just used whatever was jabbed into my back to guide me further along the path. I tried to stay stoic and quiet too but my brain went into autopilot and I started voicing every idea I had about the volcano as we walked. I talked about everything I had learned at the visitor's center. I told him about the survivors and what I thought that must have been like to survive. I kept talking and asking questions he did not attempt to answer. It was inane chatter and I was not sure I would ever stop. That was until I said "I don't have the money. I keep telling you jackals that but you think torture and fear inspiring tactics will cause me to crap out a golden egg. It won't happen. If your bosses want the money they will have to wait like sane people. I have some money in my pocket I could offer as a first payment...." I kind of peetered out at this point, the words had dried up.
It was at this point that my captor decided I needed to face plant and he shot his foot out and gave me a quick shove to prevent me from correcting the fall. I hit hard and knew I was going to bruise. For some odd reason my reaction was to laugh. It was at this point that I was introduced to another foot. I hated my inappropriate urge to laugh in terrible circumstances. I sat there not crying out and no longer laughing as I caught my breath. He dragged me back up to a standing position and started guiding me with his gun again. I was a little bit slower now and he finally began to talk " I thon't care tho mush. Money ith your ithue with the botheth! Now walk!" I suppressed my giggle and then silently congratulated myself.
The self congratulations made me giggle....
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