Thursday, February 01, 2007

The Pre-Wedding Story

Back to the retelling of last weekend. Thursday my dad spent all day at a work shop while I kept falling asleep in front of the TV. When he got back home we headed over to have Vietnamese again and then ran some errands. Finally ending our night at Barnes & Noble. The next day I awoke early and headed to the airport. Where I wandered about waiting for the time to pass.With the flight over I landed in San Jose. San Jose International was the worst airport I have been in. Wait it's the second worst airport, the first being Medford, OR. This airport was old and used up. It was dinky and the whole place was covered in construction. It was lousy. I caught the first bus to the rental car company area and within moments I was back on the road heading South feeling excited. An hour later I was no longer excited just antsy and kind of hungry. I decided to watch for a In N' Out Burger because I hadn't had one in a year and a half at least. I missed the last one and saw it in my rear view. I pressed on thinking: "I have an hour left to drive and In N' Out was originated in Cali it has got to be everywhere, right?" The answer to that question is: "You couldn't be more wrong!" I finally arrived and ran into Kevin C right away who immediately introduced me to his special lady friend. Then we had some champagne. Nothing like 5 minutes in town and already drinking. That is style. Adrian came down and next thing I know I am buying a sweater at Kohl's for the dinner that night. I hadn't packed anything nice to wear besides the wedding duds. I am always thinking ahead. I started to notice an odd odor in the air and was wandering if someone had a gas leak when I was informed it was the natural springs and that the hotel boasted spas that allowed you to soak in luxuriating water that made you think of Uncle Ed's post bathroom odor. We picked up some liquor and headed out. I was at the rehearsal for moral support and mainly because that way I could be driven around and never bother to know where I was supposed to be. The Priest came in very casual and a wee bit late and referred to Kevin as Kevin Conway. Which is not exactly his last name. I was watching this priest knowing he was comedic gold. There is a thing to explain about the priest not knowing Kevin's last name. This was a destination wedding, everybody had to travel including the couple getting married. So it wasn't their priest but what a way to make people's hearts race! "I now pronounce you..... LINE!!"
After the rehearsal, where the locals made Portlanders look like yuppies when it came to time, we headed to a nice little winery. It was called Eberle Winery or whatever. The rehearsal dinner was held downstairs in the wine cellar and we were surrounded by casks of wine. I kept trying to lure people into the catacombs so I could entomb them while they were still alive but I couldn't find any catacombs let alone any willing volunteers. I mean I wouldn't force somebody to allow me to lead them to a horrible demise, that wouldn't be nice. We sat down and I told the lady who offered red or white that I most definitely required both. She laughed and poured both and half the table followed suit. We were the loud and boisterous singles table and soon we discovered we could make the ceiling do our loudness for us. It was like having a microphone but better. We ate and drank then enjoyed several toasts, by the last few I was toasting with water. About that time we all headed to the hotel to walk down to the bar. We drank and drank and drank and danced a bit too. Then we made VIP status and we drank in a private room where we controlled the music and shots came down the pipe. Soon it became apparent that the groom was thinking bed was a good idea so I took off with him and a few others while Jed and Adrian stayed behind. Apparently that was when it got interesting. A line of local girls came into the VIP room to party and within moments had Jed topless. From what I gather Jed is like some kind of aphrodisiac if you can just figure out how to get him to use it. So the night continued downhill with Jed getting whipped with his own belt, kissing a random girl and then just deciding to go to Jack in the Box with Adrian.

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1 comment:

Michael Williams said...

Sorry if this makes less sense then it should...