Tuesday, April 08, 2008

The story of the inaccurate demotion of Pluto

Well I am learning about self esteem in children this week. So far what I have learned is that it may or may not be developed at various ages. It may or may not have something to do with race, gender, age and parental support. So once again I learn nothing. So in continuing my odyssey of unprovable ideas and theories we go back to Pluto and the old guy known as G...O...D!

So a few of the faithful were curious about how I knew God lived on Pluto. Well I am not really able to reveal that to you (Satellite transmissions into the fillings in my teeth). The good news is God decided it was ok that I continue to tell you all about how he came to be on Pluto. No more lightning bolts up my wazoo. Anyway it was several decades ago... some may even say millenia. The time was the 1970's and God was on earth in disco pants. They had super wide bells at the bottom that defied logic (but of course he is God and logic means nothing to him). He was about to release his first ever music album to the world, it was called 'Disco Blues'. It was an album that combined disco and blues together and had the side affect of blowing people's minds, literally! Anyway he played it for a test audience and their heads exploded and he knew we just were not ready yet. So he got on his huge cosmic skateboard and went to Pluto. At first he was very cold but then he remembered he was God and cold was not really a factor. As he relaxed in the icy splendor of Pluto he realized he needed a drink. So he summoned a lime tree with an endless supply of limes, an endless supply of coke and rum and has been drinking Cuba Libres since. He had a limitless supply of ice on Pluto to use for his ice cubes. At the rate he was drinking it actually began diminishing the size of pluto (you try making a big enough drink for God). Pluto's shrinkage caused us, mere mortals, to decide to demote it to a junior planet. So needless to say God is a little peeved that we would deem to change how Pluto is listed since it has been his place of residence since the '70's! If anything we should promote it to head planet in charge!

This was inspired by an earlier post Where God Lives!

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