Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Hancock: The Rambling Review

Imagine you are impervious to pain, you can fly, you are super strong and you have a drinking problem and an issue with self loathing? What kind of hero would you make? Apparently you would be Hancock. Will Smith's latest July blockbuster... does he not get tired of consistently destroying all comers in the month of July? Anyway you have entered my review of Hancock.

Will Smith is Hancock in case you missed the trailer. Hancock is kind of a big drunken jerk. He helps people and all but he wrecks a lot of things in the process and people hate him. Of course he is drunk so he eggs them on but make sure you avoid calling him an A--Hole, he doesn't like it much. In reality it is kind of like calling Marty McFly a coward, chicken or yellow belly. What is wrong with having a yellow belly besides the possibility of having tuberculosis? I guess tuberculosis would suck....

Anyway he rescues Ray (Jason Bateman) from meeting up with a speeding train. Ray decides he needs to help him out because in realiy this guy saves people he just tends to do a lot of damage while doing so. As luck would have it Ray is a PR expert but he sucks at it. Hancock for some odd reason lets him help. Maybe it's because Ray is right and he needs people to like him or maybe it's because Ray's wife, Mary (the ultra hot Charlize Theron). Anyway he links up with him and takes Ray's advice to turn himself in under the newly issued warrant. Apparently L.A. hates all the messes he makes.... one particular intervention cost 9 million.

So he is turning himself around but Mary can't stand him... Ray thinks he is misunderstood... and their son thinks he is the absolute! Anyway Hancock has 2 allies and somehow the stint in jail allows th criminals free reign and finally they come crawling back and Hancock saves the day. From pariah to hero in a couple weeks... maybe Ray is actually damn good at PR!

Anyway the twist happens right around here.... WHich I won't tell you. I will tell you I did not see it coming and even thinking back on it I can not see all the pieces that lead there. I see one sign but there are so many signs pointing in another direction it hardly seems like a signal at all. In fact I am sure the other componenet will fall into place like aybe they mixed up the ending just to screw with me.

Now I guess a lot of people hated the movie because of this twist... they site things like poor writing or the mystery taking too long to be revealed. I think these people are all retards. I mean window licking, ride the short bus mentally challenged citizens. I like seeing an ending I don't expect... it does not happen very often. This movie does what Superman Return fails to do. It paints a picture of a completely lonely person who happens to be super powerful. A person who doesn't have a friend in the world and has sunk to the bottom of the bottle to hide. Yet he has a conscience and feelings still and they lead him to do things but he is careless. It paints a new side of the haunted superhero. One where his heart is kind of near the right place but he can't see his own worth enough to do anyting right. I guess if you went there simply to see a funny screw up or lots of explosions the idea of a story might disturb you... of course that is because you are a retard.

My take? The movie was good. I liked it and I think if you go just enjoy it and let your preconcieved ideas stay at home. Don't be a retard.


Anonymous said...

Hand-cock (had to do it because I act like a 4-year-old) was actually pretty entertaining. The unexpected twist made the movie more interesting and less predictable, and I did not see it coming either. This was far better than most movies that are made these days, so booger-eating retards can clown this flick all they want. Like they know anything anyways!!!

Side note - Charlize still gots it!

Michael Williams said...

You give 4 year olds a bad name! Hahaha

Charlize is my wife man!