I almost hate to say this due but today was a better day for me. I hate to admit it becase admitting it invites bad luck but I feel incredibly different then I did yesterday. Has some magical solution come down the line? Nope. I just was really irritated that I was so disgruntled and I decided to not be disgruntled. I think a lot of life is simply figuring out what head game is being played and how to counteract it. I was getting pulled into other people's negative feelings and allowing those to bog me down. I can only handle my own negative feelings and when ever I take on other peoples I only hurt myself. I don't relieve them of their negative feelings, all I did was allow them to add weight to mine. I need to focus on what I can control and stop focusing on what I can't. At work that means I focus on taking enough calls to get them off my back but also the smallest possible so I don't pimp slap the entire office. I then focus on letting other people's irritations roll off the minute they stop confiding in me. I can't focus on the negative constantly because there is way too much of it currently. 2008 is turning out to be a real pisser of a year in my not so humble opinion. I try to find what is going right and focus on that instead. Some days I have to look harder then other days but the sun was shining today and that always gets me feeling more positive. It is weird but that grumpiness has started to be normal since I moved here and experienced a few more changes in the weather then Arizona's one and a half seasons (hot and not hot respectively). I have no real issues with Winter and the grey but February and March with sun one day and rain the next is when I have a rough time adjusting.
Another positive thing was my sister called after work and we had a good talk. I love talking to my sister. Even if I started the conversation by saying I find adults annoying and jaded to start and implying that included her. I was being funny though, classic humor from me I guess (total jerk means classic humor duh!). The thing is I do believe that adults are jaded and annoying and when ever both symptoms develop is when you actually become an adult. Some 22 year olds are just annoying but have not become jaded yet so they are kids still and some 12 year olds hit jaded too young and then just being human they are annoying and at age 10 they are adults (hand them their pack of cigarettes and a dead end job). Sometimes a 60 year old regains youth by learning how to drop the jaded part. Everyone can be annoying (and probably are right now)... Admit it my theory and I are annoying you right now.
I am still up a creek as far as observational hours. I am going to 'plan b' and I am going to take an emergency day off and head to my teacher's school. I will figure out when tomorrow. I am still hoping the other jerk calls back so I can do it after regular hours. The other thing I am doing for school is working on my educational philosophy paper. I keep getting stumped and have not really been able to get anything flowing. The ideas are not coming acrossed properly at all! I have scrapped the earlier work and I am going to just write on each aspect and cull from the ideas and develop a paragraph that way. Of course I am supposedly working on that now... hence the title of the post.
I am feeling very introspective today but just about the wrong topics. Well I need to get something done on that paper so this is over for a while...