I was taking a walk around the neighborhood today and as I turned a corner on the walk I saw some college aged people playing hackey sack. I noticed none of them were smiling they were just watching each other kick the sack around. This got me thinking about the fact that hackey sack is the worst waste of time ever! Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it! Have you ever….
(Testing…. Testing… can you hear me? Well I guess you can’t answer. This is George Jefferson, Mike’s fish! I just did you all a huge favor; that would have been the most boring couple of minutes of your life! Mike means well but he just is totally missing the mark with this rant. I bet you are wondering what is going on. It is actually quite an interesting situation actually so I am glad you are curious! I invented a device that has let me occasionally take over his mind. I can’t do much with it but I can get him to occasionally buy some great fish treat for me and today I managed to make him write my words in his blog. He doesn’t even realize that you are all missing the various reasons why he thinks hackey sack sucks! I managed to turn the light device on my tank into a transmitter that can temporarily control his actions. I am a freaking genius! You know it’s true! I am doing you a such a big favor, check out this sentence!)
Have you ever had to pick the hackey sack up off the ground every time you get to the third kick? That totally sucks!
(See what I mean about doing you a favor? Talk about boring! He and I have had a few disagreements in the past but ever since I invented this device I have been able to tolerate him. He can be an insensitive jerk sometimes, like last night he asked me if I wanted to take a walk to the park! A WALK! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!?? WHAT A TOTAL JERK! HE KNOWS I CAN’T FREAKING WALK! DOES HE EVER ASK ME OUT FOR A SWIM??? NO, NO HE DOESN’T! OK, sorry I need to relax…. Wooo I could have killed him! If it wasn’t for the fact that he feeds me I probably would have. Let’s check in on his ramble.)
I mean who wants to kick around a sack? You know what I mean?
(A HUGE FAVOR! Anyway I am here for a point! BUY MY FREAKING GEORGE STICKER! I CAN NOT BELIEVE THE STUPID STEWEY CUP IS HIS NUMBER ONE ITEM! YOU GUYS ARE SLACKERS! DON’T MAKE ME TAKE OVER YOUR MINDS!)
(Click on the picture above! Other then not having the number one item I have been doing well. The fish life is an easy one. I swim around and hide under the filter and then I go to the Buddha statue for a little worship time. Finally I head to the fake plant to seek inner peace. It’s a good life!)
(He is almost done with his stupid hackey sack rant…. I better go. I will talk to you all again real soon!)
And that is why hackey sacks should be destroyed and all hackey sack enthusiasts should be jailed under the Patriot Act!