Friday, April 21, 2006

The Milwaukie Retirement Center

The local park has a retirement center attached and I sometimes swing by when I am in the park to use the restroom and to look at old people. I walk in with headphones blaring and camera in hand so I figure I am as much of a curiosity to old people as they are to me. So we are aiding and entertaining each other. I have been dropping in a lot lately since I have been taking daily walks in the area, one needs to ponder upon the porcelain throne occasionally. Today I started noticing some disturbing trends at this local retirement hangout or should I call it retired degenerate hangout. You will see what I mean I brought back photographic evidence. I have found destroyed public signs, strange pictures on the community events area and daily displays of thoughtlessness.
I think first I should address the wanton destruction of city property. I have a photo to show you.

Does this look like a good handicapped parking spot to you? It's not even near the building! I wanted to park my car there so that the handicapped people could have my much closer spot that was by the door but I can't afford the ticket at the moment. I decided I would have to take the close spot and they would just have to hoof it. I didn't put up the signs so naturally it isn't my fault.

After my deep pontification session I found myself looking at the community events board and saw that a clever show was coming to town.

Looks cute right? A murder mystery luau, what will they think of next? I bet the seniors are already lined up! The overnight camp outs for this show probably make the Star Wars geeks look soft..... Wait a minute! What is that below the picture???

HOLY NAKED GUY BATMAN! What the hell is this couple doing?? Is this some kind of maid service? Can I just order the naked girl or is the guy included? This is at the Retirement center! Old people aren't allowed to have libidos!! This is an utter outrage!! What is even worse is there is no number to call to see if they will clean my house! Shocking!!

After I was done being floored by that picture I found this event. Which just shows how cruel people can be to each other. Even when the people we are talking about are old, you know like really really old.

Will somebody please tell me how people with Alzheimer's will possibly remember to go to this event? I mean, hello!

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PS. Yeah I went there, sorry folks.... don't get mad it's just a joke.... kiss kiss

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