Wednesday, April 04, 2007

The Class Kiss-Up

Yesterday was a very long day.... a very long day. Even before my first break I was looking at the clock saying why is the time creeping by? What have I done to deserve the longest day ever? Why are all these people mad at me? What is wrong with these people? I want to just go home! The break flew by as did my lunch and the second break but the rest of the day creeped by. I would be on a call for 5 minutes and I felt like it had went on for an hour. The calls were killing me. To make it worse my continuing education class was after work so I had no escape. I have to take continuing education classes to stay licensed to be an insurance person in Oregon. I had an hour from the time I got off work until the time my class started and I ran away. Some people suggested I work the extra hour and get overtime but I was barely managing my scheduled time. The other thing is even if I had I would not get overtime pay... they have us work 7.75 hour days so the first hour and 15 you only total 40 so why work another hour for regular pay when I felt like stabbing people? So I took off and I went to an art store and perused. Then I purchased a cup of coffee at a coffee shop and sat down to peruse a magazine and next thing I know it's time for the class. I headed back to work for a super long 3 hour class. I am going to tell you all a shocking secret, insurance is boring. It really is and although the instructor does her best to make it engaging it simply doesn't work. Knowing this I tend to draw a lot. I was working on my latest epic comic story when I ran out of paper and we were only 30 minutes in. About the same time as that a guy has hit everyone's radar as the class kiss up. He has a comment for everything the instructor says. She says "The.." and he would say "Yep, that's exactly the way it is." He had been in several of my previous classes and I already hated him as did everybody I know. I am not sure how the people I don't know felt about him before then but before the first hour was over I could tell everybody was on the same page, well maybe there is an exception of two minor kiss-ups who seem to think their comments mean something to their peers. What is it that drives someone to chime in every 15 seconds? I mean it's not like you make the class more fun with your stupid insights or your incredibly lame jokes. Who does that?

The main problem I was facing was that I was without a distraction which tends to get dangerous. So I start writing comments here and there to my co-worker and we slowly start having a covert conversation on paper. We talk about the "Commenter" and his lack of friends. We talk about things she says every time we are in a class, because she always teaches and her stories always end up in the same places. We finally got a much needed break and we bought soda to try and get the sugar and caffeine to help us get through the next hour.

In the second hour the things they are saying, because now the Commenter has turned the class into a conversation because every thought she expresses brings out a story from him and it is officially 'they' talking instead of her teaching. Anyway every stray word brings about another little conversation on our papers. I draw representations of the kiss-ups saying stupid things and my wolf and croc characters talking crap. We take apart every comment the Commenter makes. We also start taking words or phrases and running wild with them, at one point it almost causes my cohort to burst out laughing. We slow down for a bit and a second break is finally called.

When we come back we notice our paper talking has spread through the class and no one is listening. We are all writing hateful notes about the commenter and soon people are no longer even feigning interest if he speaks. It gets to the point that when he starts talking the room erupts into idle chat with neighbors. Except the two of us, we keep it on paper. We pretend to be listening even though we have no clue what is being said. Then another written comment about the word redlining almost gets both of us to laugh out loud again... I had to make a weak cover with a cough to make up for my less then quiet snicker. The Commenter continued to chime in as if he has no idea we all wish he would be violently flung from the earth and he might not have any idea. I start tallying every time he chimes in with a comment which adds up quickly. I give up after 15 minutes because the tally mark is ridiculously huge meanwhile my partner in crime is marking every time certain words are said and it is just getting silly. Finally our duty is done and the gates open and we are paroled from this prison. As we leave we make barbed comments about the guy hoping some will stick into his side like a prison shank. Some vow to never sign up for the night class because of him. Others talk of signing up for online courses. Either way no one wants to sit through that again. Even the nicest people reveal looks of hatred when he is mentioned. Maybe next time we will have prison style shanks that are fashioned from all the free knick knacks the company gives out to boost morale and we will leave the barbed comments unsaid and we will scatter leaving him slowly dying and no one will have seen anything....


Satin said...

You write very well.

Michael Williams said...

Thank you.