The Rambling Review of The Hammer

School is annoying! WAH! Cry me a freaking river! Yeah, yeah. I should thank my lucky stars I am in school racking up enormous levels of debt. Boo hoo! OK I am done crying about school for a little while. Thanks for all the empathy and compassion you lot showed me. I hope your milk goes bad before you can use it all.

I am back to reviewing movies... why can't someone pay me for this? Anyway this movie came out last year and never really made a huge run of it but the reviews are pretty positive. Almost all the reviews seem to share one common factor: they are amazed Adam Carolla can act. I am a fan of Adam Carolla and every chance I get I listen to his radio show. I was fully aware that The Hammer was coming out and I had planned to see the movie but it slipped by anyhow. To say I was completely coherent and observant during the last year would be a lie. I spent a good majority of the time avoiding thinking about the impending doom of my job loss and then I spent an entire summer on bar hopping, sun soaking and beer drinking. It was fabulous. So I missed this movie's run at the box office. Luckily for me I have friends. The friend I need to thank in particular is Cat. Not because I think she will ever read this review (because she won't) but because she saw this move and knew me enough to get me a copy. You see Cat likes listening to Adam Carolla and unlike me, (who never manages to turn on a radio before 10 AM) she gets to hear a moment or two of Adam Carolla's radio show most mornings. He began announcing the release of his movie and a special offer to autograph any copies that were sent to him. Cat bought a few copies and sent them directly to him. She bought a copy for me and sent my copy of The Hammer to be autographed. I recieved the movie in January but I just saw this movie tonight. I am not so good on the follow through.... my bad. Anyway this long intro is over and now I bring you, without further delay, my review of The Hammer.



A pathetic but supposedly skilled carpenter, that is down on his luck, stumbles into a second shot for a boxing career. His left is dropping blows of amazing force that soon catches a boxing trainers eye. With a little bad luck at his current job and a promise of a new future our 40 year old hero, played by Adam Carolla, decides to give boxing another shot. He begins training with 2 other Olympic hopefuls including one that is gunning for the same weight division. The young gun is threatened by the old carpenter and is inspired to train harder. The carpenter uses the young kids taunts to drive him harder and we see this old funny guy has heart, guts and determination. Never to be out cliched Carolla's hero is plagued by a previous boxing career that went down in flames due to his own lack of ambition. To add the twist the trainer who gives him his second chance has devious plans that are less concerned with this old guys future then with milking him for free training for his young star. Haunted by his past it seems he is always ready to give up and stick with his self imposed label of a loser. Even when his new girl, best friend (Ozzy) and sparring partner/top rival tell him not too.

This was a nice story of a come back kid, who has wised up a bit as he aged. Some dreams are worth fighting for (pardon the pun) and sometimes it takes a moment to find the right dreams to fight for. Being a fan of the Adam Carolla show I know this was shot on a pretty small budget but it is not cheesy nor overly pathetic. I knew the likely flow of the story before it happened but I still enjoyed the ride. I would recommend checking out The Hammer for those in the mood for an underdog movie, a sports comedy or a romantic comedy. It has a little bit of everything. This movie is not awesome but it's good, entertaining and delivers on all the heart warming moments you need.

P.S. Keep an eye out for the Nicaraguan star, Ozzy. He steals every single scene he is in.

A pic to share

Hey all!
I was looking at the pictures from Maryann's visit and I have some good ones. Unfortunately I have not felt like doing anything with them as of yet. Luckily for you during my perusal I discovered that I did want to share one pic of Maryann at the Japanese Garden. It is a cute one and for the record it was actually a pretty cold day. I was bundled pretty decently too.... 3 layers. Not quite at Maryann's level of bundling (312 layers) but a lot of layers for me.





If you wanted something to read... I found a post I made in 2007 that made me giggle. It was my post about "My tips for a successful blog!" Here is the link: http://crazedlunatikdesigns.blogspot.com/2007/10/my-tips-for-successful-blog.html

School sucks!

I was absolutely positively worth nothing yesterday. Well let's back up.... I did a lot yesterday. At Free Geek I helped rearrange the store for 5 hours. They have big plans for the place and I helped get a few of them started. It was a lot of work and I was tired when I got done. Of course my day was not done yet, I was headed to the NELA center to be available as a tutor. I almost got a chance to help edit a paper but that fell through as she decided to go home instead. So instead I worked on doing some prep work for my Mad Science classes. I organized the take homes I will hand out Thursday and Friday. It involves little baggies, clay and stir straws. Anyway, when I finally got home I turned on the television.... then the dvd player and watched Naruto. I was planning on doing some homework after watching a show or two. After the first show ended I dutifully turned on the computer with good intentions; instead I got sucked into the internet.
I watched Kyle XY and talked to people on Facebook. Next thing I know I'm yawning and it is 12:30... I failed to post anything in the online class Wednesday and as a result I will need to reply to things on Saturday. I planned to have Saturday off... Let me explain. At the University of Phoenix, online courses (and the mixed physical class and online class that I have) have a standard rule about proper participation. I need to be online 4 times a week, reply to 2 posts from other people per day, and post an original response to all teacher posted questions. I did not do anything on Sunday or Monday and in order to take Saturday off I needed to be online Tuesday through Friday. In the past classes I have been online and posting everyday. The combination of my volunteering and working has significantly reduced my available time but that is not the main issue here. The main issue is that a year into the program I am a little demotivated. Perhaps it's the nonstop method of classes, maybe it's the fact that I am learning more with my after school teaching then I am in these classes, or it could be that the assignments I am doing seem to have little to do with reality, more of a time filler then anything else. Either way I am feeling less and less inclined to jump into the fray and discuss the silly topics. I am tired of the assigned reading that seems to think blathering incessantly about theory will help prepare me for the classroom. Maybe one of the factors in my burn out are struggling to look for a place to do the required observation hours with no tips or help from the school. In a lot of ways this school has made being in school easier but it has made things harder.
Here is an example: I am never quite sure who to talk to or help in an advising role. I have a friend who sent a question off to someone they were thinking might e able to help or at least point them to the right person and a month later still had no answer. There is not a cyber advising office as far as I can tell and it is hard to really figure out what every ones role is in the school. I had experiences at NAU where I ran around trying to talk to the right person and kept getting redirected. I am not sure why there is no clear cut path to follow and there is so much groping around in the dark in academia. In all of my years in customer service and sales positions I was told that I needed to do everything in my power to make sure that I got the customer to the right person who would have the answer. I would call and track the person down before connecting the person (most of the time, unless the customer was in league with satan). Nothing is more frustrating then getting the run around but schools never seem to bother with improving this aspect. They put a lot of the strain of figuring out where to go and who to talk to on the student's back and in an online setting this can become even more frustrating. Considering the money funneling into these places this is a huge bone of contention for me. I should be walking on rose petals whenever I go to campus!

Yet that is not the reason I am tired of school and wanting desperately to be done. The real reason is that for every decent class I get I end up with 4 that are irrelevant. It is even worse with the homework. We do at least one assignment individually each week and usually one as a group, as a result there are plenty of assignments that make me think I am in a creative writing class. Even worse is that a lot of the classes are the same subjects with a different name so I write similar papers over and over again. All these assignments and classes miss the point. You need to teach to really learn to teach. Only after you teach do the theories begin to make sense. Why exactly would you think having aspiring teachers design a role play would teach them anything about being a teacher? So freaking irritating! GAH! Medical students work at a teaching hospital because they need to know more then just what a book says to be a doctor. Why don't teachers follow a soimilar path? Then again that is a totally different discussion better left for another time.

Bye Maryann!

Well, today is the day Maryann is leaving Portland to head back to Phoenix. As I said before, we have had a grand time! Yesterday we arose from our slumber a little later in the day but after our coffee we headed toward Multnomah Falls. Of course you have to stop a few places along the way first. We headed to Vista House and looked at the river. Vista House is an awesome place to stop and stretch your legs and take in the scenery. After that we stopped at Latourell Falls, Bridal Veil Falls and Wahkeena Falls. Leaving Multnomah Falls for the last stop before heading back to Portland. Of course the day started out sunny but soon storm clouds rolled in and while we were at Wahkeena Falls it started raining, then began hailing and went back to raining. It continued raining while we walked up to the Multnomah Falls bridge and even though I had wanted to hike a little more I decided against it. I was cold and wet and not wearing a rainproof jacket. We headed back to Portland and after a few minutes lounging at my apartment we headed to Thai Basil and had dinner. Of course 75% of the items there had some animal product in them, for example the curry had some crab paste or something like that in it. We had a good meal despite their efforts to eliminate everything Maryann could eat. I was a little tired and decided we should rent a few movies for the evening. We picked up Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist and Burn Before Reading. They were both good movies. Burn Before Reading had a few surprises in store and was pretty funny. Nick & Norah was a cute but predictable romantic comedy.

In a few minutes, Maryann will make one last trip to Voodoo Donuts and then we will throw her suitcase in my car. I will take her down to the MAX station and she will go bye bye. It has been fun but I need to get back to all my responsibilities.

Maryann's Visit Thus Far

My sister, Maryann, is in town for a few days and we have been having a good time of it. She arrived on Thursday while I was learning how to guide high school students on how to fill out a scholarship app. To say that was a grand entrance filled with excitement and intrigue would be a lie. It was interesting for me because I will be doing this a few days a week until March 2, 2009; but not as interesting to Maryann who has no such plans. When that was done we headed to Hopworks Urban Brewery where I told her I would be vegetarian for her visit. I had french fries and an order of hummus and veggies for dinner along with some beer and freshly roasted peanuts. It was a good meal but I kind of had a craving for the pepperoni pizza that walked by....

Anyway we awoke on Friday and had coffee and donuts from Voodoo Donuts. They have a vegan donut which allowed Maryann to get a donut after years of senselessly (wink) depriving herself of them. I am not a huge donut fan but an occasional donut every once in a while is fun. Voodoo Donuts is a fun place to go when the craving hits. They specialize in strange combos such as a donut that is shaped like a man that is stabbed with a pretzel (like a voodoo doll), a maple bar topped with bacon, cereal topped donuts (Cocoa Puffs, Trix, etc.), chicostick topped, an apple fritter covered with peanut butter, chocolate and chocolate chips. You may have seen this place on Rachel Ray's show and most recently on the Amazing Race, it is a Portland standard. Anyway then I had to head to work and she headed to a day of gallivanting about town. When I was finally done with work and the responsibilities inherent within that realm we went out. The first stop was Report Lounge, where we met some co-workers. Then we ended the night at East Burn.... we also found out that Portland craft beers are stronger then Coronas. Of course by we I mean she found out and I realized in the future a warning might be in order. The next day was more or less a wash. We met Dad, MaryJo and Aunt Wanda at Macaroni Grill and had a nice chat. Then we went to see Valkyrie at Laurelhurst Theaters where I drank beer and she abstained. She was still a little less then 100% and we went home and watched movies....

Today we slept in a little and then headed to Sweet Pea. Sweet Pea is a vegan bakery at the vegan "mall"; one of four stores. Yes, vegans call a four store grouping a mall.... they gets no respect! If you were a vegan you might be happy to see a place where you could get sweets, slogan tees, a tattoo and groceries (all guaranteed to be cruelty free) in one spot. You might also think that Sweet Pea's scary Sunday brunch is worth going back to. Of course, I am not vegan so I am merely supposing here. I went to Sweet Pea mainly because my crazy tree hugging sister was dying to go there. I ordered a bagel with a chipotle spread on it and a cup of coffee. No that is not true.... I ordered orange juice but orange juice is for brunch participants only. My second choice was coffee. I am still wondering how that coffee was so hot.... Anyway the bagel was good but the smear was really spicy, almost unpleasantly so. Maryann dived on the brunch and the orange juice. The brunch had one decent looking thing.... a hash brown slightly reminiscent of a McDonald's hash brown. Then they had neon yellow glop that pretended to be eggs, a sad looking gravy, biscuits that I personally thought needed to be browned for a moment or two, and these super scary grey lumps. Maryann reports the grey lumps were delicious..... I think that this further proves that vegans are crazy. Imagine if you will that you own a paper pulping business and one day while you are pulping paper you begin to wonder if the grey mush is edible so you cut a chuck out, bake it and eat it. Soon you have added seasoning to it and people that are totally crazy start buying it from you.... that is what I thought about as I looked at the grey lumps. Those grey lumps were scary looking, Maryann admitted that she was not thrilled by their appearance but she knew they were animal product free and she gobbled it down. Why? Presentation should count for something! Alas I am speaking of people who hate animal slaughter but love meat so much that they spend a lot of time making products look, taste and feel like meat. Sounds like a lot of wasted time to me! Apparently mysterious grey lumps are just fine for most vegans. Well that is enough on scary grey lumps and loony non-meat eating meat lovers. I must confess that my theory is that all vegans had a bad petting zoo experience where a goat followed them around biting them and it caused massive emotional trauma to their psyche.

Anyway I was dying to go to a place called the Curry Leaf. The Curry Leaf is a great little Indian food place in Beaverton. They have a buffet on Sunday that is completely vegetarian and several of the offerings are vegan. We headed there even after the scary brunch. Maryann loved it. Indian food is one of the things I always use to argue that meatless does not mean bad or side dish all the time. This particular place serves two buffets on the weekends. Saturday is the more familiar buffet with Tandoori chicken and a few other meat dishes amongst vegetable dishes, apparently this style is more common in Northern India. Southern India has it's day on Sunday and it is sans meat. All the products are flavorful, spicy and filled with a variety of textures that make you crave another helping. It was my second trip and I hope to go back again soon.

From there we headed to the Japanese Garden for a walk around in the crisp February weather. It was a good day for being at the garden as most people stayed at home and kept warm. From the gardens we headed to NW 23rd avenue, known as a shopping mecca in Portland. We wandered through a few shops before arriving at Laurelwood Public House and shared a basket of garlic fries. I had to get home to work on some homework which Maryann made all the more sweeter by providing a sweet treat from Sweet Pea (all puns within this sentence are intentional). I should clarify that the baked goods at Sweet pea are actually really good and not noticeably vegan. So maybe the Vegans are trying to slowly win over the non-vegans by serving a few tasty products without relying on any other animals besides the human making it. When I was done with my homework stint we headed out to see the movie Religulous at the Laurelhurst theater and did so with a pitcher of beer. Anyway I am about to call it a night.

As for any vegans out there I am just teasing. You can pursue making the perfect non-meat meat product for the rest of time if that makes you happy. Someone has to eat all the strange grey lumps in the world and it might as well be you. As I read this aloud Maryann tells me that she was never chased by an evil goat at a petting zoo; I guess my theories are sometimes wrong. Maybe people that eat meat were harrassed by petting zoo animals.....

What a SUPER day!

First off let me say that The Slants are a cool band with a great sound. Helping Oregon Music Live film their show was a complete blast. I will be looking to help them do this again.

Now let me share that I am really hoping the Cardinals will win today. I already have my Cardinals gear on and I am ready for some football.

Finally, I want to share a few comics I found amusing that have nothing to do with sports! Two of these are Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis. The first one was funny to me because I always found Shakespeare to be hard to understand and te second one amuses me because I find the whole anger over people not speaking English to be a little crazy. The last one is Get Fuzzy by Darby Conley and I just love this conversation about poetry.

Busy Bee

Well.... this week has been long but it's not over yet! I am taking a breather from the homework I am doing to write a note. An update if you will.

I wanted to share what is new. I am volunteering with Oregon Music Live tomorrow (Saturday) while they are shooting a local band called The Slants. I am not real clear on what I will be doing yet but I am ready to help in anyway I can. I plan to take a few classes at the PCM building so that maybe I can try a little camera or sound work next time. PCM is Portland Community Media and they have several stations up here that broadcast shows. So... Public Access. Think Wayne's World. I am not sure they would really pursue the connection but my brother mentioned that when I told him what I was doing this weekend. As far as the classes go... they cost money so I won't probably do too many of them in the near future but I may take a class on camera work.

Of course Sunday is the Superbowl and the Cardinals are in it! Wow! I am still in shock, it just sees unreal. I am looking forward tot he game although I have yet to really nail down a plan for viewing it. I may end up watching at home this year.

Another interesting little thing that happened this week was I got hooked up to volunteer time at a place called Free Geek. They take computers and electronic donations and salvage all usable parts (unusable parts get sorted into the proper recycling sections) and build refurbished computers to sell to people who can't afford a flashy new one. What is even better than that is they have several different ways that volunteering can result in a computer every year. I am not really needing a computer at the moment so I am not doing it for the computer, just for the chance to volunteer at something different and perhaps take advantage of some free tech education courses. Who knows maybe I will need a computer one day. They use Linux on the refurbished computers and I am interested in learning more about Linux, which is almost reason enough for me to contribute hours and accept a computer. Of course, ultimately I want people that need a cheaper computer to be able to get one and I don't need one just to satisfy my curiosity.

I am still tutoring at NELA on Wednesday and Thursday evenings, although I have only proofread one paper so far. Deadlines for scholarships are coming up and they are expecting some heavy flow of traffic and helpers will be needed. That will be good. I am also teaching English to Adult Language Learners.... but this week the freak snow storm caused a lot of trouble so I did not make it in. I will be doing that again this week... I hope it goes well.

Mad Science is nearing this session's end and we are signing up for next session. I, of course, forgot to turn in my availability form today and will need to drop it by Monday. Of course I actually have a few requests to make in regards to the schedule... To further add to my fun I was evaluated this week and it was a choppy experience. I can only improve. The good thing is that after watching my class today I am still being asked to teach in the next session. I have a lot to work on though as I was unhappy with my performance today in general let alone because it was being evaluated. If the evaluation had not taken place I would have still been irritated with my performance today and been figuring out how to do in the very near future (next week).

A day on the phone...

The job market is steadily getting worse and there is no real end in sight. Everyone is starting to buckle down and tighten their belts. People in jobs are hoping to at least stay in a job. Those without jobs are wishing they were in one. As more people join us in the unemployment line the phone line to the unemployment office is over run. I have been calling all morning to get qualified for an extension of benefits but I keep getting a message that all circuits are busy. Makes you wonder why the unemployment insurance office isn't hiring. After all it seems to be the only booming business. So while I endlessly redial, hoping to get through, I figured I should write a new entry.

This is a year of redefiniton. As companies pilot themselves into a black pit and then whimper for the government to bail them out, the people are left to fend for themselves. I am glad that we are bailing out companies and that some people get to stay employed. What I don't get is why no one seem to be talking about keeping these companies accountable. It seems like they need to redesign their business and start thinking of ways to dig themselves out of the pit they dove into, while blindfolded and drunk. Of course I am a nobody. Just some unemployed jerk watching mismanagement get rewarded and the general public get penalized. It's funny how many people are worried about illegal immigrants and the benefits they get when we turn around and hand out billions to companies who should have known better. Getting back to the fact that I am a nobody.... the only thing I can change is myself and what I do in this world. Just because I am currently underemployed and have not heard back from any company I applied to, last response I recieved was in November. It was Mad Science.... So I am not getting a lot of looks from companies, even ones I am perfectly qualified to work for. I need to reinvent who I am and what roads I can walk. Hence the volunteering gigs I keep mentioning. I am currently working with 3 different groups and trying to expand to 4 (maybe 5). I have no experience in any of the areas I am volunteering, I am merely learning as I go. I am not content to sit about any longer. I need to be busy, even if I am not getting paid.

The phone message still says the same thing "All circuits are busy right now". Hopefully I will get this taken care of by tomorrow evening. I could really use my government handout. Bills need to be paid.

A Rambling Review of Let The Right One In

I saw a movie last night that I enjoyed. It was called Let The Right One In. It was a foreign film with subtitles and therefore not a movie I usually go see at the theaters. I usually bring mandatory reading movies home to view at my leisure (this time leisure should be pronounced "leh shur"). So you may be thiking, if you usually don't go to the theater to watch subtitled films, what were you doing? Well I read Francisco's review (focoproject.com) of the movie and I was intrigued. This movie was originally released in 2008 in super minor limited release but it seems to be crawling through theaters again. Anyway my friend loved it, and he had not steered me wrong on Slumdog Millionaire, so I took his word for it. I went down to the Living Room Theater, which has nice, comfy, giant chairs and a lounge. It also happens to have cheaper movie tickets, normally 7 but right now Tuesdays are 5. I sat down with the previews already rolling just barely making it in time to watch the movie and definitely with no time to enjoy the lounge.

Maybe I should preface this a bit. This movie is not some overly arty foreign film, nor is it a tear jerking romance. It is a story about a vampire. Now if you know anything at all about me you may know that I like reading and watching things about vampires. I just find them interesting. Having said that, this movie is like no other vampire movie I have ever seen. It is a love story and some may say, including Francicso at focoproject.com, it is a coming of age tale. Either way this movie was different and that was a good thing. As I seem to have committed to this movie review without intending too, I shall start this thing with no further delay.



Oskar is a blond haired 12 year old kid that is a constant victim of a few bullies at school. We see him take abuse from these guys almost immediately. Oskar's silence and meek demeanor are only really convincing if you manage to avoid his eyes. In his eyes he betrays his true desire to even the score but he doesn't. Instead he remains a passive victim for the bullies games. Because Oskar is not real wild about being the scapegoat, he spends his nights fake slicing those bullies, repeating the taunts he heard them use on him earlier in the day. In fact that is how we open the movie with him telling us to "squeal lke a pig." That same night a brunette girl moves in next door, Eli. He watches her as she gets out of her car before going back to his bully slicing practice (which consists of him waving his knife around and saying things about squealing). It may surprise you(wink wink) to know that our friend Oskar has no friends and spends a lot of time alone.

Eli of course is our vamoire. She has a guardian, he must be more then that but this idea is only hinted at. Anyway her guardian goes out and gets fresh blood for her but he is getting old and starting to be less capable of doing his job. He almost gets caught the first time we see him doing this. When he flees the scene without the blood, he leaves her to catch her own prey since her hunger is gnawing at her. This is when Eli meets Oskar. Within their first conversation she tells Oskar they can't be friends but a friendship develops anyway. He goes back inside planning to spend most of his time out in the snow so he can talk to her again. Meanwhile she goes out and ensnares a victim, not realizing she has a witness.

Eli, of course, is not a normal girl, although she appears to be Oskar's age she isn't. When asked her age she says "12.... more or less" and does not answer when Oskar asks what she means by "more or less." Luckily for her Oskar is a weird little boy. The pair that "can't be friends" do become friends. When Oskar realizes Eli is a vampire he does not seem shocked or horrified by it. Things continue to build and get slowly out of control but I am done telling you what happens. See it for yourself.

This movie has been dubbed by some as the "anti-Twilight" and I guess I can almost see where they are coming from. These kids have a definite connection and, as I said earlier, it is definitely a love story of sorts. I think they mean that Eli is a vampire but not an only animal eating vampire. She feasts on human blood, like every good vampire should. That being said the movie has some blood and violence. It also had a quick shot of the girl changing as Oskar peaks in on her, which left me feeling uncomfortable. Thankfully that only happened once. Either way I figured I would mention it so you would not be as surprised as I was. My friend Francisco mentioned it in his warnings as well but I read his review several days before and I simply forgot. This movie is not a slasher flick and is more intriguing and suspenseful then scary. It, however, might not appeal to all. If you read this far you might be a person who should see it.

Apparently this movie is so good they are remaking it. The recent trend in Hollywood seems to be: remake foreign horror flicks by recasting them with English speaking actors and eliminating subtitles. What happened to originality? If you have seen a horror movie in the last few years then you might have seen a remake. The Ring, The Eye and The Grudge are all examples of movies that were originally foreign films remade for the American audience. Why exactly do I need to see a remake of a film that was just made and so good that critics love it and American studios are fallng all over themselves to remake? Why not just see the original and read the subtitles? Don't wait for the remake.... see this one!

A Rambling Review of Slumdog Millionaire

I had heard very little of this movie but I have to admit the title is intriguing. However I was not sold on the idea from what little I knew of the movie which was some poor kid in India wins big on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" I figured it would be about the struggles after he gets the money. I decided to take a pass and possibly rent it one day. Then I read a friend's blog. Now let me tell you about this friend, his name is Francisco and I have known him since my high school days. Recently we reconnected during my most recent visit to Phoenix. I learned a little about him and what he is up to these days over lunch. One of the things he does is teach a class as a community college that is an intro to film production. It sounded interesting and this guy knows his stuff. So I decided to check out his reviews of movies. I read a raving review of Slumdog Millionaire there and I moved the movie from my "to Rent" list on to my "see in the theater list". Francisco's blog is Focoproject.com and he has a lot of reviews there, please check it out. As I said before, I don't listen to critics but I listen to people I know. I am glad I listened, this movie is great. Without further ado, I bring you my review of Slumdog Millionaire.



I can't say that I know much about India besides the fact that I love their food. I know a little from watching Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations show. There are some pretty tough areas to grow up in India. That is where our hero, Jamal lives as a child with his mother and older brother Salim. In a little slum filled to the brim with people and every spare spot is filled by a shack of a home. That of course is not where we start, we start with Jamal being tortured. The police are interrogating him to find out how he knew all the answers of the Millionaire game show to prove that he cheated. As he is repeatedly questioned Jamal's life story is told as he explains how he knew all the answers to the questions. Every single question is linked to a memory of his life and most of them are not good memories. So we flash between his life and the interrogation as the story moves along, and it moves fast. We start back in the slum he grew up in while he talks about how he answered the first question, which, like in America, is a simple answer. It is a funny story abut getting an autograph from the most famous man in India but also a sad one as his brother steals it and sells it. We now have our roles set, Jamal is a dreamer that is also determined and his determination gets him through a lot of tough spots and Salim is the schemer and willing to do anything for a little money. Jamal believes in his brother all the way through the movie long past when you want him too. This is not simply a story about brothers though, it is a fated love story. Jamal and Latika belong together and he risks everything several times to make that happen. Latika is a girl he meets the same day his mother is killed in front of him as he and his brother run for safety. Every story he tells the officers about his life also tells how he came to know the answer of a question in the game show. His life story is heartbreaking, intense and enthralling. My friend Francisco says that director Danny Boyle takes you on a roller coaster ride and he certainly does. This film hits every emotion as it unfolds before your eyes. It is a great ride though and one you should check out soon.

Just a little info you may want to know. This movie is violent, brutal and at times scary. There is violence, child abuse, kidnapping and some real hard scenes to watch. Having come clean about this I implore you to see it anyway. Even though there are a lot of twists and turns in this movie, the true story of the importance of family and love comes through.

Mochitsuki Festival

I volunteered at Mochitsuki today. It is the Japanese New Year and they had a lot of things going on. They had booths set up for local clubs: Anime, Go (a cool looking game), magnet schools, abacus schools, a spot to make cat ears and many more things. They also had food popping up all over the place. I ate sushi, Kalau pork and cabbage bento (Hawaiian), and shrimp tempura. Amazingly enough at Mochitsuki they had mochi. What is Mochi? It is a sweetened rice cake. Sticky rice is taken and pounded into a dough like consistency using a wooden mallet. Watching the demonstration of the traditional way to do it was pretty fascinating. It required skill and timing because as one person smacks away with a mallet another person flips the hot rice over. So they work as a team in perfect rhythm to avoid cracking skulls. When it is at the right consistency they start pinching off small pieces for people to try. They provided free samples and each sample had 3 choices of pairing; sweet bean paste, soy sauce or soybean powder. My favorite was the sweet bean paste.

Besides the various booths, food and mochi pounding demonstration they had local community groups putting on little shows. They had hula girls, a swing band, karate demonstrations, a Taiko demonstration (drumming) and other groups. They also put together a show you paid to watch that had taiko drumming, folk dance and a storyteller. The show was worth paying 12 bucks for. The drumming alone was worth it but the storyteller, Alton Chung, was great and added a great dimension. Alton Chung even taught me the word Onara....

Either way I helped with the community stage and also the clean up a little. At least, I was helping when I was not talking, eating and enjoying the performances. I will definitely put this on my calendar and hope to make it back next year.

People, Relationships and Serious Questions from 3rd Graders

As some of you have read, I have been looking for volunteer positions to help me get more experience in teaching. One of the things I have been doing to find these listings is to scour the Volunteer section of Craigslist. It is filled with some very interesting opportunities and a few ridiculous ones. Whenever I look there I think about how technology can help bring people together that might not ever connect. I had no real idea how to volunteer. I am not as comfortable walking in and asking if they need help as I am responding to a posted ad. I know from the ad that they are looking and usually before I respond I know if the days and times will be right for my schedule. It is fantastic. As a result of these posted requests I have set up two very different opportunities for myself and I am excited about starting them next week. So here I was feeling pretty good about the internet and the way it keeps me connected with people. You might not know this but I am not a huge fan of the phone. If it was not for the internet most of you would never hear from me. So in my "happy with the internet" state I decided to look around other parts of Craigslist. I was instantly reminded of the bad side. Amidst the good and honest postings are scammers. People that are preying on your fears and feasting on your ignorance. Now, to avoid a lawsuit or a defamation case, I will give credit to Craig and those that frequent his list. They do a good job of monitoring and pulling things that are sketchy. So this is not a rant about those evil scammers out there.

After some lengthy exploration I finished looking through the community, job and gig listings. I was not quite ready to go to bed as I have a large tankard of rum and coke I am wading through... So I decided to look at the romantic listings. I was amazed at the ineptitude of several of the posters. One woman who is seeking companionship starts off by saying "I was reading about all the dorks and..." Then she follows that up with "so freekin bored and thought i would let you guys know... some of y'all are dorks, but cute in their own way, so now i have made my own dork page." I don't know about you but I am looking for something to go beat down her door with, she sounds great! So here I am reading this post thinking "why would you post that?" What made you think insulting everyone right off the bat would help you meet people? As my thinking progressed I realized that maybe there is something wrong with society..... why are there so many singles out there? And why are most of the singles so inept at dating and/or meeting new people? Why does a new web dating service pop into existence every other week?

I figure that it was about the time I left college that I realized how hard it was to meet people as an adult. I made new friends at work and the fact that I was back in Phoenix among good long term friends helped a lot. I was hanging with old friends and had figured out how to make new friends as well. I had periods where I did not feel as connected or where I was not as interested in knowing my co-workers outside of work but I still had my core group. The problem was I didn't like Phoenix and I wanted out of there. So I moved and it has been an interesting task to make the friends I have up here. I have made several good friends but it wasn't as easy without the core group to fill in the gaps. Life can be lonely for a while when you are in a new town. When I look around and read the notes on Craigslist, OKCupid, and Singlesnet I see a common theme of disconnect and it does not always have anything to do with a new town. As I thought more about this common streak of loneliness I began thinking of things like the rather rude remark "Old Maid" or even the fact that Ichabod Crane of the Headless Horseman tale was a single male who taught and seems to have been regarded as a bit of an odd duck. Was it really so odd to be single later in life back then? What is different now? Is it the lack of a local community, parents and relatives living nearby and up in your business? Maybe it's because the new world means less actual human interaction. Sure I talk to people a lot through the day but I don't always connect with them. Perhaps people have learned to not be friendly and open. When you next travel through a day take a mental note of how you interact with people you don't know. Think things like, did I just pay for my gas or did I greet the attendant warmly and exchange pleasantries? What makes us so distant from people around us? Don't we all inhabit the same area? Why do most people pretend other people don't exist? Telling children about "stranger danger" may have helped bring about this general lack of warmth towards the unfamiliar faces around us but I know that message is taught for a real reason. Strangers can be dangerous, even those that promise candy, however don't we need to at least be pleasant to each other?

It occurs to me that most of this pontificating did not really originate out of my casual interest in Craigslist people. It hearkens back to a little girl from my class today and the conversation we had as she helped me clean up. We were talking about the projects we had been making in class, actually she is not in my class because she is in a music program but she has a strong desire to be in my class. She began the conversation by asking me how I became a Mad Scientist. I told her a version of the truth and she began a streak of questioning that would lead me to this post. She asked me if I built the Styrofoam planes with my kids and I told her I had none. She then asked if I built the Styrofoam planes with my wife and I once again admitted I had no such person in my life. She was quiet for a second as she was putting what I had told her into her classifying schema. I continued cleaning. After getting a grasp on the fact that I was an adult and not married, she wanted to know about what I was doing to rectify this situation. She looked me in the eye and asked "What if you met someone who thought you were cute and she made you happy, would that make you happy?" I answered the only sensible answer "Yes." Then she asked me with a straight face, "What if you met someone that you fell in love with and you got married tomorrow, would you want that?" Now it was my turn to pause (and stifle a giggle). No one has ever asked me a question like that before but I realized this girl was serious and I decided to take the question seriously. So I said "Well I would be surprised by something like that but I think sometimes it's good to listen to what your heart says." We had a longer conversation as she was enjoying talking to me and I was enjoying talking to her. Then her mother came and asked a bunch of questions about Mad Science birthday parties and when the next Mad Science class session started because she knew her daughter wished she could be in class. Somewhere in that conversation the one I had with the woman's 3rd grade daughter was put on the back burner. Where it waited to build strength and burst out in a long rambling post at 2 AM Saturday morning.

The latest and somewhat greatest!

A recent email to share.

Dear Crazed Lunatik,
I enjoy your blog most of the time but it seems lately all you ever do is whine. Please stop whining and share some more poetry or stories.
Sincerely,

I did not include the name of this emailer. I will give this person a name of my own creation The Anti-Whining Whiner or AWW. AWW you make some valid points. I have been whining a little bit lately and I have not posted any new writing. I wish I could say I am sorry but I have decided not to lie about it. I am not sorry, I can only post what I post. I have not written any new poems or short stories lately. It is hard to post something you don't have. AWW, don't take this personally, but I really wish you would stop being so whiny in your whiny emails. Actually take that personally.

Well this probably won't meet the ever whining AWW's approval but I recently finished Alice Sebold's latest novel, The Almost Moon. This is a story about a woman who grew up with a mentally ill mother. In the first few pages she kills her aging, decrepit, shut in of a mother and the rest of the story is split between thoughts of her life and what is happening now. This woman, her mother and her father needed counseling at the very least. Probably needed medication too. If you daydream about ways you can kill your mother... go to a shrink. Whatever you do Don't write a book about it. This book was terrible. I hated all the characters and I was hoping the world would end so I would not have to finish the book. The world, as you may have noticed, has not ended and I had to finish the book. My recommendation: Don't bother.

Other then that, I taught my first class last week and this week I will teach 3. I am also pursuing a few volunteering opportunities that I can add to my resume. I am meeting with someone tomorrow about tutoring high school students and on Wednesday I am meeting with someone to discuss teaching English to adults. I hope to set up one more thing to mentor HS students that are trying to get into college. I also volunteered to help with a Japanese festival called Mochitsuki, this Saturday. The other thing I am checking out is a volunteer opportunity with a group who are trying to put on a show about Portland music. I will let you know how all this works out.

Photo rant

I hate printing my photographs.... There I finally said it. It's true. It seems so simple and easy but the reality of the situation is what looks good on your computer rarely looks good printed.

This is what happens... I take a big ol' bunch of pictures and I select the few that actually managed to go from my head to the little digital point and click. We are not always in total agreement and as a result it often decides not listen to me. It takes a picture focusing on the thing I had no intention of photographing and blurs out the thing I spent time lining up. Of course I realize my non-digital slr camera would not have this issue and would be a better choice but it's expensive to buy film, develop film and have pictures you haven't seen yet developed. As a result I tend to go digital and often times growl at my camera while I attempt to capture my subject appropriately. The other day my camera magically produced an image with nothing in focus... it was unbelievable. The problem was I had actually brought out a tripod.... so it wasn't due to my shaky hand. So I am generally stuck with simple subjects that the camera and I can both see the ideal subject clearly. We make beautiful photos together when I keep it simple (stupid?). Unfortunately, I am not really the ideal point and click guy.... I see great shots that have a little difficulty to them and I work to pull them off. I get excited when they work out and foolishly try to get the camera to understand what I want in an even more difficult shot... I never learn.

So there I am with 300 shots... and perhaps I am lucky and I can use half of them. The problem that arises next is that I tried different angles of a subject and have several shots from those different angles that work. Now I try to identify a couple shots that are superior. Suddenly I am now at a quarter of the original shots and I have to run through again. Nobody likes a 75 picture slide show. Out of those 75 I select around 30 some odd pictures and I clean them up and make them look good on the computer. I produce a slide show and people tell me the shots they liked. Then Christmas rolls around and I think... I have picture frames and a lot of fantastic pictures so I should give photos out this year.

After deciding which prints for whom, I order prints... but the prints come back looking awful. I immediately begin to tinker so I can reorder these prints and the colors are still goofy. I am stuck at that point because I can't really afford to just order more and more prints until I finally get the colors corrected. So I took all these photos and worked on them for hours only to have an issue with the prints. If I had a film camera and a darkroom I could just develop and tinker until it came out the way I dream it should.... but I don't. I have a digital camera and a computer. I could produce images on my own except that the ink cartridges get sucked dry super quickly when you do that and ink cartridges cost a mint. So I am back to printing at the store and waiting.... then tinkering and printing again. This sucks! So if all you got was a card this year.....

Either way it's a new year. 2009. Woo or something.

Portland Snow Pictures

I have put together a new slide show of my snowy days pictures.

The other way to see the pictures with more control: http://www.flickr.com/photos/crazedlunatik/sets/72157611855597281/show/

2 Rambling Reviews - Hamlet 2 and Yes Man

It was the day after Christmas and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring not even a louse.
Asleep in his bed a little past noon,
when he got up, dust bunnies he did moon.
Stumbling to the chair, there arose such a clatter
but when living alone it really does not matter.
Finally, in the early afternoon, motivation did hit
and he decided he needed to do something besides sit.
Showered and shaved he greeted the day,
Joyous was he until he saw cause for dismay.
The car, it sat surrounded by snow,
severely limiting where he might go!
Out of the house was what he had swore,
so he grabbed another jacket and locked his door.
On foot he trodded toward the mall
where swarmed a lot of people, some really tall.
Claustrophobia, the fear of tight space, sprang to his mind
he felt the urge to punch, so as not to be confined!
He left the mall with feet all a flutter,
running through an overflowing gutter.
His shoes now soaked he thought of home
but strong was his urge to continue to roam.
To the theater he soon set his sight,
to watch whatever, whenever, he might!

That is more or less how I ended up at the movie theater a few minutes before Yes Man was about to begin. I wish I could tell you I planned to see this movie but I didn't. I literally had only one choice for a movie starting then. It's not that I had planned to skip this movie or anything but the plan was to see it with beer, either at home or at the beer theaters. Either way I needed to be out of the house today and even with wet soggy feet I decided to pull the trigger and see the movie.



Yes Man stars Jim Carrey, the jerk fiance from Wedding Crashers (Bradley Cooper) and the zombie looking chick from The Happening (Zooey Deschanel). Jim Carrey plays Carl a man who is hiding from the world after his break up with his wife (Molly Sims). He nearly alienates his best friend Peter (Bradley Cooper) when he fails to show for his bachelor party. Carl decides to go to a seminar called "Yes is the new no" and makes a covenant with himself and the author to say yes to everything. For whatever reason he follows this to the 'T' and for a while everything is going great. He meets a great girl (Zooey), makes new friends, and gets promoted. Then things go to heck in a hand basket. The girl he likes is mad and won't take his calls, his job ends up making him fire people, the authorities think he's a terrorist and his ex-wife wants him back and he is not interested anymore. What is a guy to do?

Well, lets start off with Zooey Deschanel. This girl is cute and she seems to have a few more facial expressions besides the one demonstrated in The Happening (THANK GOODNESS!!!!). So I actually enjoyed her in this, the scene where she is singing in her band is great because the lyrics are fantastic and zany. Anyway she looked cute in this movie, she had a personality in this movie and I fell in love with her. I do need to say that we still see a lot of the deer in the headlights look from her as this seems to be a natural look she makes.... Oh well. Jim Carrey is getting older but he was bouncing off the screen and doing his usual rubber man stuff. Yet this role was pretty understated for him and the film never seemed to really generate the kind of laughs I used to get from a Jim Carrey film. It was almost like he was trying to grow up a little on us but knew we wanted to see his crazy antics. I enjoyed the movie and I laughed quite a bit while watching it but in the end it still left me a little remniscent for the good ol' Ace Ventura days. Some bonuses... Hyde from that 70's show is in it, General Zod from Superman II is in it, and the ever cute Kate from NCIS is in it (my favorite character names are used instead of their real names, you must find the actors behind them).

When I got home I was relieved to be out of my wet socks but I had the urge to watch something else. I had rented Hamlet 2 on Christmas but had not seen it yet. So I started dinner, made some phone calls and settled in for a viewing of something I expected to be terrible.



I had seen the previews and decided to wait until it made it to video. Nothing had impressed me about it but the "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" song had seem naughty enough to give this movie a try. Then I forgot all about it. Luckily I have visited the video store a lot lately and I always know when a new release has arrived. Anyway I ended up renting it but not having a desire to see it right away. I still had some Paniponi Dash! episodes to watch. So when I got home from Yes Man I just popped the thing in. The movie hooked me with one well placed line "So we must ask, where do dreams go to die?" and then they open on a desert town and they pan to a sign that says "Welcome to Tucson". HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love when people make fun of Tucson, AZ and this film does so in spades. It does it so much that they were denied the priviledge of filming there and ended up filming in Albuquerque, NM.

The movie is about a failed actor turned drama teacher (Steve Coogan) who is not doing so well at this gig either. He has a frustrated wife (Catherine Keener) and he has a bunch of kids who took drama because the school cut the budget and eliminated their preferred choices. He takes this unexpected development as a chance to live out the "Inspiring Teacher" role portrayed in movies like Dangerous Minds or Dead Poets Society. He is a retard but the class seems to enjoy watching him to see exactly what is coming next. Then he is told his drama department will be cut after the semester ends. He is destroyed but after a pep talk from the play critic of the high school newspaper (who looked like he was in junior high), he decides to produce his own creation Hamlet 2. Somehow he gets the kids involved in this horrible looking play, manages to get the town and school upset and the support of the ACLU(Amy Poehler plays a feisty ACLU lady). All kinds of obstacles get in his way his wife leaves him with the roommate they got to pay the rent (David Arquette), he finds out he is sterile and she is pregnant with the roomie's baby, he loses his job, he is assaulted and threatened, he gives up on sobriety but somehow the students pull it all together and they perform the play. The parts of the play you actually see are offensive and hillarious at the same time. The "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" song was fantastically silly. One of the best parts was Elisabeth Shue plays herself but as an Elisabeth Shue who gave up on Hollywood to be a nurse and the only thing she misses is not being able to make out with people. This movie is stupid, offensive and somehow funny. I enjoyed it. Director and co-writer Andrew Fleming said (in the DVD extras), "I believe this film will appeal to my friends, mentally unstable people, people out for some cheap laughs and drunkards."

Merry Christmas!

I hope you are all where you want to be this Christmas Day. I am at home in slippers and pajamas typing away. Unfortunately I am not at my aunt's house today due to the snow lingering too long. So for the first time ever, I am having a white Christmas! Don't worry my Aunt and Uncle and I will all have our Christmas dinner another day. A little Christmas story for you all.

Joey awoke early and bounded down the stairs. The whole house was dark except for the lights on the Christmas tree. The presents were calling his name but he knew he had to wait. His parents had forbade him from waking them up before 7 AM and it was 4:30 AM. He had some time to kill.... His stocking was stuffed with interesting looking stuff and his desire to dig in and see what was what burned brightly inside him. He dared not step any closer because he knew his desire would be his undoing. He went in to the kitchen and decided to have breakfast. He grabbed a bowl, a spoon, a box of Cap'n Crunch's Peanut Butter Crunch, and the gallon of milk. That gallon sure was heavy as it was nearly full. He would have to concentrate to avoid any spills! He was being so good he thought. He had not woken anyone up, he had not ripped open any presents and he had not even looked in his stocking. Surely someone this good deserved a piece of Christmas Fudge! He grabbed the biggest piece he saw and began nibbling on it as he poured his cereal. The fudge was so good he wanted another piece but he decided he had to wait. He grabbed the milk jug with both hands and slowly tipped it so only a trickle came out. When he had enough milk he put the cap on and lugged it back to the refrigerator. He sat down and ate his cereal.

When he was finished he looked at the clock, he was sure it was close to 7 by now. It was only 4:52..... How could it only be 4:52? It was impossible that time moved this slow. As he rinsed the spoon and bowl and placed them in the dishwasher he realized that he really was being exceptionally good. Someone who was this good deserved an almond cluster! He selected the biggest piece and grabbed a napkin. He went out to the TV room and turned it on, surely their had to be some cartoons on. He flipped through all the stations and found only one. It was Clifford the Big Red Dog on PBS..... he hated the cartoons on PBS. They were so boring! He decided to find his Spongebob Christmas disc after he finished his almond cluster. It was so good he gobbled it too fast. No one would mind him having one more while he watched Spongebob. He grabbed the dvd, the next biggest almond cluster, and a glass of water and sat back down in front of the TV. He made himself eat the cluster slowly so he could get all the goodness out of it that was possible. He was finished before the previews were done.... and he wanted more. He knew that getting too much more chocolate would get him in trouble so he decided on popcorn. He went back to the kitchen and selected Kettle corn. He decided he needed a soda to go with the popcorn and he selected sprite (his only other option was diet so it was not much of a choice). He returned to the TV room and hit play to get Spongebob started.

He was not sure what was going on but he couldn't sit still. Even Spongebob was not compelling enough to keep his attention. He went back to the kitchen and had a few cookies and some milk. He was pretty full at this point. He decided he should use the treadmill while he watched TV like his mom did. He went back to the TV room and grabbed the remote and started Spongebob again. He got on the treadmill and started it up. He had to turn the TV up though and realized he was probably being too loud. He got back off the treadmill and turned the TV down. He ran to his room to get some toys. He grabbed his tub of action figures and ran down stairs. He realized that he needed to grab some vehicles for these guys and ran back upstairs and grabbed a few jeeps. Then he began setting them all around the room in strategic places and having them drive around in jeeps. They were all fighting each other and he was having a grand old time when he started to feel really tired. He grabbed a pillow and decided to watch the rest of Spongebob....

His parents had woken up a few time as he ran up and down the stairs and when the treadmill had been going. They were determined to stay in bed until 7 AM, even if they weren't sleeping. They had set the time and they were determined to stick to their rules. They sat there staring at the clock, how on earth could time take this long? It was only 5:45 at this point. They both settled on reading a book since they had no intention of officially getting up and neither could sleep any longer. Mom grabbed a mystery and dad a sci fi book and they enjoyed some quiet time with their books. When their alarm went off they were amazed that their son had not made much more noise since the marathon running session up and down the stairs. They went downstairs and found him asleep in the TV room next to a bowl of popcorn and a bunch of toys. The Spongebob video was still going though. They slipped out and decided to get some coffee going. Mom noticed a few pieces of candy missing and a bunch of cookies eaten but really not too bad considering he had been alone for hours. He probably had crashed out after the sugar shock wore off. They had enough time to have a leisurely breakfast of oatmeal and toast before they decided to wake their son to get on with Christmas.

He was a little confused when they woke him up and they had to remind him it was Christmas but once he remembered he ran to the living room and began looking through the contents of his stocking. They opened presents and took photos and had a grand ol' time! Soon the doorbell rang and it was other relatives and the gift giving started over again. Soon the adults were enjoying more coffee and chatter while the kids raced around the TV room with their sparkly new toys. Then the adults got to work on dinner while the kids built forts and played war with their toys. Occasionally one child would slip in to the kitchen and slip out with candy. The adults soon realized what was happening and put the delicious treats away in an effort to get them to eat something at Christmas dinner. When it was time to eat the table was filled with food. A huge Christmas ham, cranberry relish, marshmallow topped yams, a bowl of olives (that the children immediately began putting on their fingers), a variety of pickles from sweet to dill, veggies and dip, rolls, mashed potatoes, Waldorf salad, and other delicious holiday delights. It was a grand feast and everyone sat around in a food coma as the food was replaced and desert was put out. Everybody claimed to be too full to eat anything but as soon as the first piece of pie was on a plate everyone else gave in and followed suit. Over all it was a great Christmas and when it came time to go home they found their children asleep in the giant pillow fort and they snapped a picture.

Hope you enjoyed the little story. You guys have been really good.... so go ahead have a huge piece of Christmas fudge!

The cards are enroute!

I have sent off the last batch of Christmas cards! Which of course means some of you will get them after Christmas.... sorry. I sent out a lot of cards this year and a lot of the cards are just plain strange. Even stranger then my normal strange. So you might get the card and think "WTF?" Hahaha

Once again... if you do not get a card it's because I had no address. So.... waaah!

I wanted to do a few mini-reviews here.

Twilight - I liked this movie. Was it cinematic excellence? No. I am not sure if this would be enjoyable if you aren't already a fan of the series. Just being a fan does not guarantee you will like it either... I had a few friends tell me they hated it. I think all the bad and honest critiques I heard as a result of my diatribe about letting girls have their movie really helped. I had such low expectations that the movie could only be better... :) Anyway if you can get past the fact that Edward looks constipated (and can't act his way out of a paper bag), Alice is not in the movie enough, Emmett isn't big enough, Carlisle was miscast, and the vampires sparkle like they fell into a vat of glitter when they are in the sunlight you might have a chance of liking this movie. Kristen Stewart, the girl who played Bella, is very cute and probably the best actor of the bunch. I felt she needed some love since Robert Pattinson, Edward, is getting all the love (even though he looked constipated and couldn't act the girls were all hooked, my niece says she doesn't care because he is handsome).

The House Bunny - This movie is stupid! So I laughed a lot. I can't say this was an original idea for a movie but it was pretty funny and Anna Faris is pretty goood at being incredibly stupid. Anna plays Shelley, a Bunny who dreams of being a centerfold. Unfortunately, her Bunny expiration date (she turns 27) arrives and she is booted. She ends up working with a misfit sorority to turn them into popular girls. If you like stupid flicks there is a chance you will like this flick.

Havoc - I have a mini-crush on Anne Hathaway and made a big deal about the fact she was fully clothed in Get Smart. So my friend, Nancy, texted the name of this movie to me. Anne sheds her top several times. Thanks Nancy. Unfortunately the movie was barely watchable even with all the toplessness.... It'a about a bunch of white kids who whine about their life while trying to be black, even though they are spoiled rich kids with every opportunity available to them. Anne's character gets enamored with a Mexican drug dealer and all heck breaks loose... Seriously! She gets topless in the stupidest movie ever!

Kung Fu Panda - I didn't want to see ths movie in the theaters because the preview was terrible. I kept hearing from little tiny people that it was good so I rented it. I have to say this was pretty good. The graphics were amazing and the story was funny and cute. If you like kid flicks you might like is one. A panda dreams of being a kung fu master and finally ends up becoming one.

American Zombie - Strange. This was a fake documentary film about real life zombies. The zombies are high functioning and they keep interviewing them. One of the documentors is obsessed by the idea of finding out about flesh eating habits and other horror cliches. Of course none of the zombies answer that question... It was pretty entertaining but probably will only appeal to zombie fans.

Horton Hears a Who - Wasn't bad but wasn't great. Seemed fairly faithful to the original story but longer. Kids will probably like this.

Spartan - This is about some politicians daughter disappearing. It was watchable but not high on my list of recommendations.None of the characters are all that engaging.

X-Files: I Want to Believe - Wow.... this movie was stupid! I was never a big fan of the show, so I am not sure why I felt compelled to see it. I guess I felt it had to be at least entertaining... it wasn't. I don't even know what to tell you about this movie because it was just such a waste of time.

John Tucker Must Die - Not a bad teen flck. Amusing. Not great but watchable. John Tucker is the most popular boy in school who also likes to date 3 girls at one time. They find out about it and are super mad of course. They plot revenge and he is pretty good at turning all the bad into good. So they send in a new and unnoticed girl to break his heart.

Funny Games - They kept breaking the 4th wall! Meaning these homicidal kids kept talking to you, trying to make you an accomplice. I ended up doing homework with this in the background. It was a bad movie about horrible people. Take a flying pass on this one!

Leatherheads - Despite having Renee Zellweger (I don't like her) in this movie this was not a bad movie. Pretty darn fun. George Clooney is an aging football star when no one cares about football. Due to lack of fan support he ends up looking for work... unfortunately he is not any good at anything besides football. He lures the # 1 college player into the game and ends up revitalizing the interest of the public. Unfortunately, his brilliance is also his undoing as he begins taking a backseat.

Katt Williams: The Pimp Chronicles Vol. 1 - This little dude is a crack up. I was laughing really hard through out this stand up act. As a warning: he is no holds barred and might be offensive to your delicate sensibilities.

Christmas Cards!!

Here is the thing, I send out Christmas cards and I have a fun time making up silly stories to put in them. I want to send you a Christmas card but I can't. I NEED your address! Send your mailing address to crazedlunatik@gmail.com so that my card can find a good home.

In case you are on the fence about getting card from me let me share a few of the topics I have written about this year. Enraged rabbits taking over the world, a monkey construction company in the making, conversation with a ferret, a twist on the lottery scam letter and a Nigerian scam letter. Here is the Nigerian Scam letter for your enjoyment:

This letter may come as a shock to you as we have never met. I am Mutubu Gumubo of the Nigerian National Bank. Last year, a fellow by the name of Michael Williams was in Nigeria working for the Nigerian Oil Conservance Coalition when he was murdered in the streets. We have looked high and low for his family and relatives but have found no one. Upon further study of Mr. Williams's past, we found your name as a former co-worker of his. By way of a totally and completely legitimate Nigerian law this connection is enough for you to inherit all he had. The paperwork has already begun we just need your response to complete the process.

Unlike most Americans working abroad, Mr. Williams did not die with a lot of money or assets. What he died with was a wallet containing one US dollar and over 700 billion dollars in debt. Please contact us soon to set up a payment schedule.

Yours truly,
Mutubu Gumubo
Debt Collector
Nigerian National Bank

See what fun that was? The cards get zanier as I go, get your limited edition Christmas card today! No card is exactly the same, all are spontaneously written and contain hardly any facts or reality. There will be no silly recitation of this year's events! Simply made up stories to bring you Christmas cheer!

EMAIL ME YOUR MAILING ADDRESS!!!!! crazedlunatik@gmail.com

December has begun!

Good Evening (or morning or afternoon depending on when you are reading this).

I have been away from this blog for too long and I felt I needed to post something to move past the Thanksgiving post. I am back in Portland after having a fabulous time in Phoenix. I loved getting together with those I was able to and as usual I wish we had more time. I also missed a few people this trip and I wish that had not happened. Either way I was truly happy and ready to be heading back home. I enjoy visiting Phoenix but more and more, Portland is becoming my home. I was a little homesick while I was in Phoenix. I spent a lot of time wishing you all were visiting me and we could go out to eat at Pambiche, the little Cuban restaurant near me. It is truly good to be home.

Unfortuantely, school is back in session and I am completely not ready for it. I want another week or 2 off. Of course we usually don't get what we want.

I may have landed a teeny tiny part time job.... I will know for sure after Thursday! Woo!

I failed to finish my NANOWRIMO novel this year. I hit 16,000 in the first week and then the two school classes just got in the way. I ended with 26,000 words, yep, 10,000 words in 3 weeks versus 16,000 in one week. I am not planning on quitting just because I failed to finish in a month, I plan to get going on it again soon. I had some people, Betty being the most vocal, who were wondering when I would be posting a fictional story on here again. I am working on one called Time. As soon as it is done, or halfway done, I will post it.

I want to tell you guys some more stuff.... lets see.....

I bought Generation Dead for Jessica to read and she was enjoying it last I checked. I gave her permission to loan it out so you may want to bother her about it if you want to read it.

I saw Quantum of Solace while in Phoenix with my mom and Becky. I loved it. I am not so sure Becky did even though she was interested in it because Judi Dench was in it. She apparently thought it was going to be more Pride and Prejudice and less James Bondish. Of course she was right about it not being a typical Bond movie, this new Bond is not really your typical Bond, he kicks butt and never actually gets around to asking questions or being suave. I actually really like the new Bond, so much so that I own Casino Royale and plan to purchase Quantum of Solace. I do not own any other Bond movie. Usually once I have seen them I have no desire to see them again. Just to be perfectly clear, I think this was a good flick and one you should go see.

One of my favorite books, Lovely Bones, was written by Alice Sebold. She has written a new book called the Almost Moon and I picked up a hard cover copy super cheap while I was in Phoenix. It is a horrible story so far, I don't mean poorly written, it is not poorly written just very crazy. I will finish it and do a review as this book is pretty intense.

I picked up J.K. Rowlings latest book today, Tales of Beedle the Bard. It has five fairy tales including the one alluded to in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (the 7th book). It was a quick read (under an hour) and the fairy tales were not too bad, with good morals in them. If you have a young Harry Potter fan you might want to get this for them, I plan to hold onto it and keep it in my future classroom.

I have stretched this entry enough and will soon end it. First... one last thing, I have pictures from my trip, most notably some fantastic shots from the Desert Botanical Garden featuring Dale Chihuly's glass artwork. I will clean them up and put them in a slide show sometime this week.

Your humble blogenator, Mike

P.S. HOLIDAY CARDS are in production by me... I need addresses!!!! Get your free Christmas Card filled with random lies and made up events! A revered and time honored holiday tradition 2 years in the making.

Pheww!

Hey all!

What a week! I want to thank my mom for all her help with my lesson plans. I think they definitely were lifted up a notch because of your guidance. I am looking forward to a homework free week! YAY!!

I absolutely can't wait until I am down in Phoenix hanging with the other half of my peeps. I hope everyone has a good week and a good Thanksgiving if I fail to see you this holiday.

Mike

P.S. It is holiday season and I love sending Christmas cards out, those that have recieved them in the past have enjoyed some fantastic lies and falsehoods about my year. I would love to SEND YOU a FREE Christmas card. I am asking for an address only, no need to reciprocate with a card back. Email me your address at crazedlunatik@gmail.com and you will make the list!

Misrepresenation is a dish best served cold!

FIRST: I know misrepresenation is not a word and that the closest word to it should be spelled misrepresentation. I am not trying to talk about misrepresentation; I am speaking of Misrepresenation, the nation. Read further to see what I am on about...

SECOND: This is the 2nd part of a 2 part rant.... they kind of interlink. Kind of.... The first part is called "Procrastination across the nation! Misrepresenation that is!"

Back to the critics. I was reading the early reviews of Twilight. Let's clarify something here... I read this book and liked it. I read the other 3 in the series and they were OK but the first was good. I read the other 3 mainly due to the hook Stephenie Meyer ensared me with during my voracious reading of the first book. Going in I knew this was aimed at teen girls..... so when it delivered a silly and dreamy romance, I was neither upset nor surprised. This book is not pretending to be R-Rated.... the two characters don't even "make love" until they get freaking married in the 4th book! Of course after they get married and Bella becomes all vampy they are at it like rabbits! Knowing this was a book not geared toward me helped me realize what to expect, and I enjoyed the experience. My dad did not enjoy his reading adventure with this series but that was because I was hooked and kept rambling about how good it was and set super high expectations. It was like a drug, until about a month after I read the final book I just couldn't stop talking about it; sorry pop. I enjoyed it and I freely admit that (without shame even). I, of course, have moved on and fully endorse these other teen genre books:

The House of Night series - Another teen vamp book but a little edgier and with a different slant, the world has vampires and all vampires pop out of ordinary teens when they turn 16, blood exchanges not necessary. The 5th book is being released next year and I can't wait.

13 Reasons Why - This book has quite an interesting concept. It deals with a male survivor of another person's suicide (a person that he had a huge crush on). He receives 7 tapes after she kills herself, 13 recorded sides, explaining why she killed herself. This is the only non-series book on this list.

Generation Dead - Dead teenagers are coming back to life and instead of craving brains they are craving acceptance and a place in society. I signed on to follow this author's blog as I am eagerly awaiting the sequel and happened to also enjoy his blog http://watersdan.blogspot.com/.

I got a little distracted..... OK, my point was Twilight is really aimed at teen girls. It has plenty of adult fans, two of my last teachers (including my current teacher) love the books and we talked about them in depth. However, the bread and butter is a decade or two younger then I am. That is also who the movie is aimed at. So what is with all this silly bashing of the movie because it is aimed at teenage girls? So freaking what!? They don't get a movie aimed at them? Only dorky comic book fans (I am one of these people too) can get a movie? And now some quotes I shall mock:

"I’m sure this love story seems profound to young readers with only a vague understanding of the vampire myth, but anyone with even a basic understanding of the plot of Dracula knows that forbidden vampire love is a pretty damn conventional part of the genre that really offers nothing new." - Charles Varrick for Martiniboys.com http://www.martiniboys.com/Montreal/Twilight:-Movie-Review-movie-1146_page2.html

Hmm.... Nothing new. I guess besides a vampire book not filled with blood, insane violence, lacking a super evil vamp guy hungry for a ladie's virtue, and something that is completely aimed at teen girls. TOTALLY UNORIGINAL! Yes, please bring on the same ol' blood, violence and cliched bad vampire story.

"Twilight" will mesmerize its target audience, 16-year-old girls and their grandmothers. Their mothers know all too much about boys like this. I saw it at a sneak preview. Last time I saw a movie in that same theater, the audience welcomed it as an opportunity to catch up on gossip, texting, and laughing at private jokes. This time the audience was rapt with attention. Sometimes a soft chuckle, as when the principal Indian boy has well-developed incisors. Sometimes a soft sigh. Afterwards, I eavesdropped on some conversations. A few were saying, "He's so hot!" More floated in a sweet dreaminess. Edward seemed to stir their surrender instincts. - Roger Ebert; Chicago Sun-Times (pick a name you dyslexic paper!), http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081119/REVIEWS/811199997

What is with the hate man? His whole article basically bashes the young ladies for being naive enough to fall in love with a movie about mismatched and ill-fated love. Yeah, screw you too Willy Shakespeare! I guess he only likes movies with cross-dressers, boring plots, senseless violence, and random nudity (like: The Valley of the Dolls).

Bad Article Titles:

'Twilight' barely gets the blood flowing - Claudia Puig; USA Today (yeah bubblegum light of the entire newspaper industry is mocking something for not being deep....) http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/reviews/2008-11-19-twilight_N.htm
Twilight lacks bite - Edmonton Sun (I am looking for a page 3 girl, it looks like the London rag with the topless ladies), http://www.edmontonsun.com/Entertainment/MovieReviews/2008/11/20/7470366-sun.html
Dear diary: My guardian angel is a vampire! - James Sanford (not a bad review just a silly and funny title) Kalamazoo Gazette http://www.mlive.com/movies/index.ssf/2008/11/dear_diary_my_guardian_angel_i.html
'Twilight' fans stake hearts on vampire romance - Karina Bland; Arizona Republic http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/arizonaliving/articles/2008/11/20/20081120twilightfans1120-CP.html

Please! Pretty Please! Pretty, pretty, pretty please (with sugar on top) more cliches! Not only do the cliche's abound in the reviews' titles most of the reviews are filled with them. Sad!

My pet peeve is not that they did not like the movie. That is fine, dislike the movie, hate the acting, mock the crappy special effects and wish it had been better. My pet peeve is when they senselessly bash a whole segment of people. So a gaggle of young girls are rushing to this movie and swooning over the dude playing Edward Cullen (the chalky faced lad who is the vampire partner of Bella), where is the harm? Why make fun of them simply because they liked it and your OLD ASS didn't? I think the other problem is a lot of people didn't bother themselves with details like: it is a bubblegum vampire love story for young girls! The story should not be a silly little overlooked fact! Instead of spending 5 minutes googling the book and realizing what it is and who it's for, let's spend the entire review mad that the movie was exactly what the books are. BUY A CLUE! Spend a few minutes familiarizing yourself with the story. YOU GET PAID TO REVIEW MOVIES PUT IN SOME FREAKING EFFORT!!!
(HEY! My ignorance of Beowulf is not the issue people, unless you start paying for my reviews. Don't go off on tangents, only I can do that. If you insist on going off on tangents start your own pointless blog!)

Just so you know not all the reviews of this movie are bad, a lot are pretty positive and seem to get what the movie is and who it is for.

CASE IN POINT: This guy is actually funny and does a seemingly more fair review of the movie. He notes the intended audience, some of the drawbacks and even the good points. Here is a quote of a warning he includes to parents and all those who show up not possesing that ever elusive clue:

-- Advisory: This movie contains some violence and sensuality. This material also attracts packs of girls with extremely high-pitched voices, who will scream every time their favorite character comes onscreen. Bring earplugs, or sit at least six rows away from anyone female between the ages of 12 and 15. - Peter Hartlaub; San Francisco Chronicle; http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/11/20/DDC8147DP2.DTL

Like sitting away from the girls will help.....

Random:
Apparently the town in the novel exists http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/movies/388508_twilightforks20.html

This guy had the funniest review of them all. I am assuming he was deliberately misinterpreting the point of the story to enrage the fans. He did a good job. Anyway he compares Twilight to the Twilight Zone and pretends (I hope) that he does not know they have nothing to do with each other.
"Twilight" has to be one of the worst adaptations of a television show that has ever been produced. It simply fails to capture the magic of the old television series. From 1959 to 1964, one of the most inventive shows ever broadcast, "The Twilight Zone," thrilled television audiences. Co-written and hosted by Rod Serling, it was an amazing series and one whose 148 individual installments viewers continue to enjoy today. Now comes along this new version with the shortened title "Twilight." They should have chosen a different title: "The Twilight Crap." - Ronald Birkow; Dateline Hollywood, http://www.datelinehollywood.com/dateline_hollywood/2008/11/review-twilight-is-a-horrible-adaptation-of-the-original-twilight-zone.html

A sample of the extremely enraged fans:

Are you stupid or just living in a cave???? This movie has NOTHING TO DO with the Twilight Zone! Its not supposed to!

It is based on the series of four novels by Stephenie Meyer, one the increasingly heralded authors of our time. It is a phenomenon in America and across the world and you somehow have seen the movie already and think that it is supposed to be coming from the Twilight Zone????

You are a poor excuse for a journalist, and frankly, a disappointment and failure as a writer. Do some background research and maybe get a job at McDonalds since it looks like you fail as a journalist. - Katelyn

umm.... i think you need to get FIRED due to your LACK of research as a journalist!!! I would be EMBARRASSED if i were you to print up a review without even knowing what the movie was based on and quite frankly a bit scared due to the phenomenal FANBASE this movie has that is going to TEAR you up for this misrepresenation of a best-selling book!!!! LOL - tina

I can't help it. Excuse me, tina, first of all let's start with your name the "t" should be a "T" and the "i" used in reference to yourself should be "I". Holy run-on: "I would be EMBARRASSED if i were you to print up a review without even knowing what the movie was based on and quite frankly a bit scared due to the phenomenal FANBASE this movie has that is going to TEAR you up for this misrepresenation of a best-selling book!!!!" I love it! Misrepresenation? Is that near Mexico, I did not know there was a nation called Misrepresenation. And finally: Contrary to popular belief, LOL, is not a word.

OK I think this dual-post is complete....... for now. Don't worry I wrote a sentence or two for my lesson plans while writing this monster.

P.S. Do not get all huffy about me mocking that girl's post. I happen to love run-on sentences and use them a lot in my blogging. If you need proof, read these two entries again.

P.P.S. If someone could assist me... I am trying to book a flight to Misrepresenation... I can't seem to find it listed at Southwest Airlines or Orbitz...

Procrastination across the nation! Misrepresenation that is!

FIRST: I know misrepresenation is not a word and that the closest word to it should be spelled misrepresentation. I am not trying to talk about misrepresentation; I am speaking of Misrepresenation, the nation. Read "Misrepresenation is a dish best served cold!" to see what I am on about...

SECOND: This is the first part of the two post rant.

I feel like I am becoming predictable..... every time I am avoiding homework I write a blog entry. The last week of my reading class has an intense level of homework and so I am really not wanting to do it. I feel like kicking someone but I know assault charges would ony hinder my current career goals so instead I am writing 2 very large blog entries. I talked to my friend, a few hours ago, about the various stresses this week's pile o'homework has caused and the fact that she and I both practice the fine art of procrastination. Now, we always get everything done with a pretty decent grade on all the papers, reports and lesson plans we have to produce but we spend a few hours at the end of the week whining to each other over the phone about the homework that we find ourselves mired in. While commiserating our current situation, she happened to mention a Spongebob episode where he has to write a paper and keeps allowing everything become a distraction; feeding Gary, watching Gary eat to insure no choking, cleaning his room and all sorts of things. We laughed about it because it is a mirror image of what we go through each week, not that we plan to make any changes. Just so you know, I am starting 2 days earlier than normal because of the staggering pile I have in front of me. So, yes, this blog entry is an avoidance of homework and I hope that does not offend any of the "Don't put off 'til tomorrow..." crowd.

In an effort to make my homework go smoother, I went to the library to grab the book I am attempting to create 3 more lesson plans about. Of course it wasn't there (or in any of the other branches as all these stupid little kids are reading it at home, completely ruining the reason children's books are written! Which of course is so that stupid people in education programs can make crappy lessons about these cute books and ruin them completely for every child in America if the lesson ever gets used in a real classroom). But I am not one to waste a trip to the library. So I wandered the aisles and found a book about Living Dead CSI.... totally and completely vital information for me to read! I also found three movies that I had been sort of wanting to see, kind of. Million Dollar Baby (I hate Hillary Swank, I have no reason for it but I do. The reason I read it was it has been recommended to me a lot. I am positive it will suck but at least I don't have to pay for it!), Rescue Dawn (I have no idea either), and Beowulf. So now I will direct some pent up homework ire at Beowulf.

A Mini Rambling Review of Beowulf

OK, two things you should know.
1. I have no idea what this was rated or if anyone saw it.
2. I know absolutely nothing about Beowulf.

Now lets examine these two points... It is rare that I pay attention to other people's reviews of movies unless I personally know that individual. Roger Ebert is absolutely unreliable, have you seen the movie that bears his name The Valley of the Dolls? Crap. Leonard Maltin.... I would never listen to a guy that looks or talks like that. The other reviewers (critics) are not even people I know the name of so we won't break down why they are no nothing poop heads (I wanted to sound smart with that last put down, did it work?). If someone I know tells me something I will listen, even when it is my dad telling me all the reviewers (yes, the ones I don't listen to) panned whatever movie I am excited about. I'll get back to these silly reviewers shenanigans in a moment...

That brings us back to Beowulf. Who? And I should care because? Here is the thing with "classics" they are usually written in a way that a 70 page story requires a 400 page book to explain all the details in order for you to understand the story. It is difficult to read and totally an unrewarding practice, as someone will come along and make a terrible movie out of it eventually. Although, after some conversations with my niece I am reading The Inferno and enjoying it. I burst into tears of laughter when I tried to read aloud and hit a bit a spot of trouble saying "Though thou art". To my credit, I had read nearly an entire Cano by the time that combination of words derailed me into a fit of giggles. Anyway as far as Beowulf goes I did not know he existed until shortly before the movie came out and then I saw the twerp everywhere.

The movie. If you saw the ads you may remember it looked pretty realistic for a computer generated movie which is why I was interested. While watching the movie I saw that they spent so much time on the close up face shots that they forgot that the characters should also move smoothly, they look like poorly animated robots. Angelina Jolie's character was the smoothest and best rendered character but both you and I know that this is because some pervy computer geek painstakingly detailed every pixel as carefully and lovingly as possible.

Then the vocalization of Beowulf.... talk about a lot of yelling that is barely understandable. "IAMBAYOWUL" Yeah.... thanks but keep your day job. The vocalization of Beowulf made me hate him the minute he appeared on screen and then the whole fighting Grendel naked thing? Really cgi rendered man butt? I could have done with a loin cloth at least, thank you very much.

The story? Some king has his village attacked by some deformed dude named Grendel. He lets it be known that any heroes that come and kill this deformed dude will be given them half his kingdom's gold. Like the next day Beowulf is there... but apparently it is actually a while later, yet they give no indication of how long or how many wannabe heroes are bested before he arrives on their shore. Either way he comes in bragging about how he is pimp of the century or some such crap. They (he and his men) drink a lot and he hits on the queen. Then he gets naked to go to sleep and await this Grendel dude. Of course Grendel comes, gets his deformed ear drum burst (yuck!), and his arm ripped off (by a naked dude that has speech problems). Somehow, he dies but not until he comes back to his mommy (Angelina Jolie). We find out the king fathered this monstrosity after being seduced by Angelina... how can you blame him? Anyway she is super mad and decides to strike back and lures Beowulf to her place where she seduces him within 5 seconds.... Talk about a fine moral fiber and courageous dude. Anyway when he gets back he lies and says she is dead, the king knows he is lying. He decides to hand his kingdom to Beowulf and then commits suicide (I said I don't know already).

Years later: Beowulf is a crabby whiny king with no soul. A dragon attacks his kingdom, the dragon is his son he made with Angelina (why his son is not malformed I don't know, stop asking). So he has to kill the dragon... and what about Angelina? She is left alive to seduce again. Anyway in the aftermath of the silly battle, Beowulf's right hand man refuses to listen to Beowulf's deathbed confession. His right hadnd man becomes king (I can only assume Beowulf only fathered the demon dragon dude) and we are left with the possibility that Angelina is seducing the new king....

So what I learned about Beowulf is that he was a fraud, liar and coward. Fantastic.... skip this movie!

See "Misrepresenation is a dish best served cold!" for the continued rant that takes on critics....