A Gust of Wind - A short story

"I don't think it would have turned out this way if it hadn't been for that gust of wind..... that was when it all fell apart."

I was in the corner of Sadie's in our usual booth. We had fallen in to a rut some years back and we just naturally drifted to that booth every time we walked through the doors. I was in that bar early that day... I had walked out of work mid-meeting and had kept walking. Just grabbed my briefcase, my jacket and walked out. When I hit the door I kept walking, past the parking lot and down the street. My phone was ringing but I didn't answer, I just walked. I walked until the road I was on ended at a parallel road and then I turned left and kept walking. I was about 3 miles away from that damn building and that damn meeting. A man held his hand out to me, begging for change... I handed him my briefcase and a twenty dollar bill. He was surprised a little... He asked me if I was OK. It was my turn to be surprised. This man who lived on the streets was worried about me, it was more compassion then I had experienced in a while. It made the tears fall, completely unexpected. He gave me advice as we shared a six pack behind the liquor store, I told him my life story. He told me I had never truly lived, he said I was one of the dead. That resonated, he was my new mentor of the moment.

He kicked me out of his alley... he had a lady friend coming over and she did not like anything new. I was way too new, too clean, too alien to stay. I stood up and as I walked away he yelled at my back that I was welcome back tomorrow. Same place... same time, as long as I bought the beer. I told him maybe but I did not turn back to make a promise I wouldn't keep. I kept walking until I reached a park. I went through the gate and walked past the blooming flowers. I had no interest in their beauty today, all I saw was future death. I found a bench and fell into it. My back registered its disagreement with how I came to be off my feet. I took the pain as a sign that I was still alive but I was not sure if I was on the verge of tears or overwhelming happiness. I could feel pain in my foot and it seemed a little too wet but I was not concerned by it. Mainly I was numb.... One thought bounced through my skull "How the hell had I got here?" I did not mean this park... I could tell you how to get here from the other side of the world. I knew where I was physically, this was more of a philosophical question. I meant how had I end up working a job I hated for the last five years? How had I stopped loving the woman I was with? How had I completely screwed up my life?

The week had started out normally. I woke up at 5:30 and headed to the bathroom and began shaving. I hated shaving but the job had strict rules on facial hair. The rule was "SHAVE!" I was working towards a supervisory position... I had an interview that day. My tepid goal was within my reach and I felt.... completely apathetic. I smiled at myself in the mirror but my eyes showed the truth. I turned away from my mirror image and entered the shower turning the nozzle and letting the brief splash of cold water slap me into reality. The day did not improve even though my interview seemed to have went well. At noon I found myself at the corner bar having a liquid lunch with a side of pretzels and peanuts. Feeling slightly less hopeless I stumbled back to my desk and chewed gum while staring at the computer screen until the day was over. Stephanie was there to pick me up and I slid quietly into my seat and she pulled away while busily talking to what seemed like nobody. The benefits of bluetooth connectivity.... I found out we were meeting with her friends Ted and Tina by listening to her conversation with Sandy. It occurred to me then that we had not had a conversation in a long time. We spoke at one another but we had stopped really talking. I wondered how long it would be before we went our separate ways but it seemed we were destined to keep plugging away because we would never have the talk. You have to talk to have the talk. We pulled up to Chez Bistro... I hate Chez Bistro and Stephanie knew this. She had just scored a point in her favor. I said nothing, just exited the car as the wind picked up. A wet piece of paper flew up and hit me squarely in the chest.... it was sopping wet. The headline read "Are you lost? Are you just going through the motions?" I ripped that top set of questions from the sheet and discarded the rest as I stuffed the questions in my pocket. Stephanie had not even stopped to see if I was following. I saw her long legs walk through the door and I stood there for a moment just staring as the door slowly closed behind her. I turned around and saw the Lotus Inn was behind me. The pink neon sign flashing with only the 'o' having burned out. I walked through those doors instead. The Lotus Inn was a seedy little bar that looked like it had always been a seedy little bar. It had never experienced a heyday, it had no illustrious past. If it was wiped off the earth only its current denizens would notice its absence as they looked for a new dank hole to hide in, to attempt to fill the hole in their souls with liquor. I bellied up to the bar and the bartender gave me a once over glancing just a little longer at the tie I wore. When he looked at my eyes the sarcastic comment died on his lips. I ordered a whiskey on rocks and sat down as he handed it to me. He had been kind enough to include a stir straw and I focused on it instead of the appraising looks from some of the cities worst that were in attendance. My phone began vibrating in my pocket, I pulled it out to see who it was. It was Stephanie and she must have finally realized I was not with her, it only took ten minutes. She was probably cursing my absence and attempting to explain it to Ted and Tina, she hated explaining unexpected things. One point for me. I ordered another drink as the phone vibrated against the wooden bar. Some one cleared their throat and I took the still vibrating phone off the bar and shoved it back in my pocket. I spent hours in there. A lot of people approached me like they wanted to test what I was about that night only to back up when they looked into my eyes. I walked out of that dive as the bartender announced last call and found Stephanie's car was gone. I started walking as the rain started up again.

When I finally made it home I was soaked to the bone. I had removed my wet jacket along the way home and had left it hanging on a guard rail. My tie I had tossed in a tree and my red dress shirt I had thrown in the back of a jeep. I was in my undershirt, slacks and dress shoes. It was 45 degrees but I was no colder with less items then I had been with the extra sopping wet layers. She had bought these clothes for me. I was done with them and I was done with her. I unlocked the door of our apartment and patted Talia's head. Her tail wagged, the only one in this house happy to see me. Stephanie was up, sitting in a dark room that was lit only by the flicker of the TV. She pointed at the message board but I did not turn to look I simply headed to the bedroom while shedding clothes until I fell into the bed. I thought "This bed is much warmer then I am" as I fell into a dark dreamless sleep.

The next morning I woke up to an empty bed. Being alone in the bed was not all that unusual these days. I headed to the bathroom and started shaving. I went to the kitchen and saw the living room was empty as well. The dog wasn't even there which was unusual. I felt a stab of pain as I set my foot down... the ground was littered with broken glass. I stifled a scream and began carefully hopping to a chair where I pulled the glass shard from my foot. My foot was bleeding pretty decently but I doubted I had hit any thing major. I walked to the bathroom wincing in pain with each step. I left a trail of one bloody footprint behind me. I had no intention of cleaning it up, this was her place and her broken glass. I wanted her to know she had scored her point this morning. I stood crane style with my foot in the sink as I poured isopropyl alcohol into the wound. It was not deep but it loved bleeding. I wrapped a towel around it and set my watch alarm for 10 minutes if the bleeding had not stopped by then I would call an ambulance. The amount of blood was alarming but not life threatening... at least that was what I was betting. The white towel began to color with blood but soon the spread stopped and even before my alarm rang I slapped a bandage on the wound. I hopped to the closet and grabbed Stephanie's crutches from when she had broke her leg the year before during a ski trip. I glanced at the mirror and saw I had managed to get blood on my clothes. I grabbed a new set of clothes and changed. I stood back up and used the crutches to avoid putting the foot down. A block down the road was a walk in clinic that opened at 7, I would go there. It was nearly 7 now.

The doctor at the clinic put sixteen stitches in my foot. He said no major damage had been done, one point for me. He warned me against walking on it as it might tear out the stitching. I nodded and maneuvered out of there and to the bus stop with the damn crutches and began my journey to work. I arrived late but the crutches and the bandaged foot were my excuse. I sat down at my desk and the message light was on. I picked up the phone half wanting it to be Stephanie asking about all the blood and the other half of me wanted it to be anybody except her. The second half was the side rewarded. My boss had left me a message letting me know I was with him for a meeting on Thursday. I settled into my job as well wishers dropped in with gifts and asked me to tell my tale of foot trauma. I told the truth only once and the reaction had been strange. So I began lying, the tales getting more elaborate with each rendition. The day was filled with small gestures of kindness but I still felt hollow. I walked out of the office at the end of the day and saw her car waiting there for me. I got in without hesitation and she drove off without comment. She was not on the phone today but no conversation was sparked. She did not ask about the foot or the crutches, she even neglected to let me know how much of a bastard I was. We were going a different way from home but I did not ask questions I just sat in silence. We rolled into an extended stay hotel and she handed me a room key and an envelope and then unlocked the doors. I got out and she pulled away and headed toward the exit. I stood there resting against my crutches as I watched her drive away. When she was out of sight I opened the envelope. It read: "Your room number is 354. Your room has all of your clothes hanging in the closet and food in the fridge. I used to love you, you know." I stared at the last line before flipping it over. "PS. There is an elevator to the third floor in the lobby. You probably need it." I stuffed the envelope in my pocket and made my way to the lobby.

The next morning began like every other day. I was staring at my reflection in the mirror as I attempted to eliminate the stubble. Then I showered, spending a little more time cleaning my foot as my doctor had recommended. It was ugly looking this morning, the abuse from the previous day showed in it's bruised appearance. I slowly dressed while staring at the message board that sat in front of the TV. Across it were the words written in red dry erase marker "What happened to us?" I turned away from it, stuffed my room key and wallet in my pocket. Then headed to the elevator and out to a nearby bus stop. Work was the same as any other day. People had stopped feeling sympathetic about my foot and no one was curious to hear the story. When I walked out at the end of the day I felt the first spot of regret when Stephanie's car was not waiting for me. I hobbled down to the bus stop and waited for it to whisk me back to my new home.

I woke up to my alarm blaring. I headed to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and the shadow of stubble covering my face and turned toward the shower. I decided to not shave, what was one day? I boarded the bus and made my way to work. My boss looked at the stubble when he came up to my desk. He decided not to comment and I followed him to the meeting. It was a new client and I was the pitchman. I went through the motions automatically, I was on autopilot. That was when it happened.... I simply stood up and walked out.

I am in the park again.... I am no longer lost in thought. I watch the kids play with their parents. I feel a slice of envy sharply stab in my heart. I had told Stephanie it was OK when she had admitted she did not want kids. We had been eating a picnic under a huge weeping willow in the middle of this very park. I was telling her what I wanted from my life and she flinched when I mentioned my desire for children. I listened as she shattered my dreams.... telling me all the reasons she would never have kids. A gust of wind blew through as she spoke and my soda fell over soaking my sandwich. I stared at it for a long time, focusing my anger there. Mad at a sandwich instead of her. Our relationship had more or less ended there. It just took two years for it to become official. I decided to leave the park as that realization crystallized in my mind.

I started walking and got into more familiar territory. I saw Sadie's, Stephanie loved this place and we had spent several Saturday nights here singing Karaoke. We hadn't been in here together in at least 6 months. The bar called to me and I walked thought the doors. That was how I ended up in the booth, our old booth, just reminiscing. That was where I was when she walked through the doors and walked to me. She sat opposite me in the booth and took my hands in hers. We sat there not speaking to each other for a while. I looked up and said "I don't think it would have turned out this way if it hadn't been for that gust of wind..... that was when it all fell apart." She stared at me for a moment before nodding. Somehow understanding my unexplained statement, no other words came to my lips. The silence invaded the space again, the only sound was the waitress bringing us a new drink. My mind drifted between her being here and the feeling that my foot was sitting in a blood soaked sock. The stitches long since torn open and the wound reopened. She finally looked up at me again and looked in my eyes "Can we start over?"

My love for Bluegrass

I was born a small boy in the heart of Kentucky. I did not have much but the love of bluegrass. It was a hard living but I was detailed oriented and bluegrass was in my blood. I rose early each day and worked at bluegrass until the sun set. I toiled day and night and by the age of 8 my entire yard was painted blue.

The story of the inaccurate demotion of Pluto

Well I am learning about self esteem in children this week. So far what I have learned is that it may or may not be developed at various ages. It may or may not have something to do with race, gender, age and parental support. So once again I learn nothing. So in continuing my odyssey of unprovable ideas and theories we go back to Pluto and the old guy known as G...O...D!

So a few of the faithful were curious about how I knew God lived on Pluto. Well I am not really able to reveal that to you (Satellite transmissions into the fillings in my teeth). The good news is God decided it was ok that I continue to tell you all about how he came to be on Pluto. No more lightning bolts up my wazoo. Anyway it was several decades ago... some may even say millenia. The time was the 1970's and God was on earth in disco pants. They had super wide bells at the bottom that defied logic (but of course he is God and logic means nothing to him). He was about to release his first ever music album to the world, it was called 'Disco Blues'. It was an album that combined disco and blues together and had the side affect of blowing people's minds, literally! Anyway he played it for a test audience and their heads exploded and he knew we just were not ready yet. So he got on his huge cosmic skateboard and went to Pluto. At first he was very cold but then he remembered he was God and cold was not really a factor. As he relaxed in the icy splendor of Pluto he realized he needed a drink. So he summoned a lime tree with an endless supply of limes, an endless supply of coke and rum and has been drinking Cuba Libres since. He had a limitless supply of ice on Pluto to use for his ice cubes. At the rate he was drinking it actually began diminishing the size of pluto (you try making a big enough drink for God). Pluto's shrinkage caused us, mere mortals, to decide to demote it to a junior planet. So needless to say God is a little peeved that we would deem to change how Pluto is listed since it has been his place of residence since the '70's! If anything we should promote it to head planet in charge!

This was inspired by an earlier post Where God Lives!

What Day Is It?

Well I finally did it. It was a highly anticipated event by many of my faithful readers as there was a gambling pool on when it would happen. I think you all know the story. I have alluded to it for a while.

I agreed to move to Idaho and try my hand at potato farming! Or is it potatoe farming, former vice-president Dan? I am sure some of you are shocked but they offered me 2.5 cents per spud and promised me a .40 acre farm with a horse (Anybody want to be a horse?) pulled tractor. No sane potato loving farmer could pass that up. I will be moving next Tuesday if anyone wants to help. I promise a box of potatoes for those that help to arrive sometime within the next season. When I first get there I am going to live in a rabbit burrow. I hear it is very roomy if you are the size of a rabbit. I figure I am not taller then Bugs Bunny by my estimates and that should work fine besides he always looked like he had a pretty cushy set up. I hear the burrow has cable! I hear rabbits are very tidy people... I am very excited about this great opportunity! I better go pack!

Anyone care to be smited?

I don't know about the rest of you but I hate belly button lint... and being smited. Apparently I was not supposed to reveal the location of God. Sorry big guy! HE IS DEFINITELY NOT ON PLUTO! The plagues will only continue.... I hear women have started to have to shave under their arms!! Shocking!

Anyway... I have not done any homework today. I am hanging out with my dad this weekend. We have been having a good time so far. We went to Outback and had a steak and Cascade for a cigar and a beer. We both had to shower to wash the stench of smoke from ourselves. That is the drawback to cigars I guess.

Well I hope your weekend is going well...

Where God lives!

It seems to me if you know how to look, most people have something to teach you. I keep reminding myself that at work as my time gets closer to an end. I tend to get exasperated waiting for things and I tend to get careless. I think this was my careless week. I desperately need to never have another careless week again. At least not this careless.... ha! Oh well it is nearly over and almost behind me. C'mon and hurry up June 27th!

Anyway as I am trying not to explode in a big ball of apathy at work I am also trying not to implode with a sudden feeling of overwhelming irritation at the current class's textbook. I do not like it.... it is completely boring and devoid of interest. I am sure that this material is not only good to know but could be quite engaging in the hands of someone else. The author should be publically flogged! She says things that are promising like "I do not want to wax too rhapsodic about....." and then follows it with a paragraph so boring I nodded off. Rhapsodic it was not. Who uses the freaking term rhapsodic?? Really! You know what I have learned about what we know about child development.... NOTHING! But hey we have some ideas about what might be going on... Fantastic! If I used this approach in my writing I could probably come up with a couple books about where God lives. I have no actual idea or any way of proving it but I think he is on Pluto and he is pissed that Pluto is no longer considered a planet! Fear his rath you stupid stupid sheep! Belly button lint will plague all the men of this world! Women will have to shave their legs to prevent hair from growing! Children will have to first learn to read before reading! It is of utter catastrophic proportions! Please scientists call Pluto a planet again! For the love of the holy one who resides on the majestic ice ball say it is a freaking planet!

Pray for the weekend ye of the gentle faith!

This entry inspired a sequel... The story of the inaccurate demotion of Pluto

Paper is done!

I am done with the paper that begins my third class. Yay! My prior two classes were A's and I am hoping to keep that streak going. We shall see. I am not terribly confident about this last paper but I did my best.

Anyway the first beer festival is this weekend and I am hoping to make it after school but I may not. That makes me sad. This is not only the first but in my humble opinion the best one they have up here. They have a lot of them up here though. Anyway if I get a chance to go tonight I will let you know the happenings. Due to the Easter holiday I can not just go tomorrow. Why would they have it Easter weekend? Speaking of Easter why is it so freaking early this year? I think next year it will be the same week as Valentine's day at the rate it is climbing. Well happy Easter to everyone! I hope you eat lots of candy!

Well I have to drive across town for class so I should probably eat something!

The Latest (not the greatest)

It was a long weird week. I am glad it is over. Unfortunately I am doing homework tonigh instead of playing. I have a paper due tomorrow which is half written. I was trying to do it last night but I could not access the information at the University of Phoenix. Apparently at the last minute the class was split and I have a new teacher so the links were not working right. Anyway the week was filled with stupid reading about various ideas people have come up with on how to show people learn. I guess as an aspiring teacher I should care but I don't. I guess they are laying the ground wok here or something but it seems so edious and uninteresting. I am working on developing an interest though. Since I am taking a stand in a paper. Yeah I agree with both theories in question because they both make sense. So combine them... NEXT!

Anyway.... Work was lame, tedious, pointless and nearly never ending. Except the week finally managed to end and I am glad of that. No stupid people whining about not knowing they had to pay the bill to keep the service going for 2 freaking days. Yay! I have been trying to work like my job is not ending in June. I helps the day go by if I just ignore the situation. We are at 98 days and counting until the farce ends. So in a way I am glad and in a way I am nervous. In case you are wondering I am not currently looking for a job. I am getting tuition reimbursement so I am not jumping ship just yet. They can play for my school.... I am ok with that. When the time is up I will hit the pavement hard.

In other news I have been trying to enlist my friend Kevin to help with shirt ideas. I think between the 2 of us we can flush out some decent ideas. So keep an eye out for that. It should be revolutionary or at the very least sarcastic.

Saturdays + work + school = : (

I am at work on a Saturday Morning.... and writing this on my morning break. I hate being at work on a Saturday. Especially when I have to go from here to class... I will not be home again until 5:30. Shouldn't I still be curled up in my bed in a niice warm blanket? Well I think I should! Stupid working on Saturday!!

Speaking of work, they are giving us goal sharing and a raise.... Yeah a raise! I was astonished when I found this out. I do not try to understand the darker depths of the corporate psyche. I am just pocketing the extra ten bucks a paycheck or whatever it breaks down to be. I could figure the exact amount out but I find that I am not all that interested. I may find it interesting one day in the future if I need something to think about besides the copious amounts of school related reading. The other shocker was the awarding of goal share. They spelled it out for us in a meeting last year that we had two goals to hit in order to get goal sharing. As far as I can tell we were way off on the growth portion of the goals. Once again I am just taking the money and not inquiring further. Some call it blood money since they axed a whole bunch of people but I feel no guilt considering the side of the axe I was on. To tell you the truth I would not have felt guilty either way.

Even with these positives I would rather still be asleep on a Saturday morning...

A Rambling Review of The Helio Sequence

Last night I went to my first concert in years of a local Portland band. It was part of a series of cheap concert called "I Saw Them When" which is based on the idea that the featured band is on the rise nationally and this is your last chance to see them in a smaller venue cheaply. The band we went and saw was called The Helio Sequence. I was introduced to the band about January when I first heard their latest album Keep Your Eyes Ahead. They have an interesting sound which is part electronica, rock and pop. Their music is very catchy and I liked qite a few of their songs almost instantly. The venue was held at the Crystal Ballroom which is owned by the McMenamins corporation. The Crystal Ballroom has been around for 90 years and has seen a lot of big names float through apparently it fell on hard times and that was when McMenamins came in nd estored it and reopened it as a venue to once again see live music. McMenamins is a company that seems to dip their hand in everything they have their own beer and own a bunch of historic sites that they have turned into hotels, concert venues, restaurants and movie theaters. One of the interesting thing about the Crystal Ballroom is that it has a 'floating' dance floor. Which is apparently something to do with being a 'mechanical dance floor', when you move it moves with you and if you get hundreds of people rocking out it can be pretty cool.
The band, The Helio Sequence, is composed of two guys and the amount of sound they put out is amazing. One of them plays guitar, operates a floor pedals while singing and the other plays the drums. The drummer sounds like the slacker of the group until you see them live. The drummer was pouring down with sweat within the second song due to his drumming with complete adandon and wild gesticulating movements. He was asolutely fascinating to watch and his facial expressions were pretty amusing. They played a great energetic set and I found myself only not liking 2 of their choices and both of them were pretty slow. The rest was upbeat and a lot of fun. They played two pretty cool encores one was a Beatle sog and I am not sure what the other one was. The band is pretty dang good and you should check them out. Preferably live but the latest album will work too.
Check them out at one of these sites:
http://www.subpop.com/artists/the_helio_sequence
http://www.myspace.com/theheliosequence

Procrastination and the American Dream

I almost hate to say this due but today was a better day for me. I hate to admit it becase admitting it invites bad luck but I feel incredibly different then I did yesterday. Has some magical solution come down the line? Nope. I just was really irritated that I was so disgruntled and I decided to not be disgruntled. I think a lot of life is simply figuring out what head game is being played and how to counteract it. I was getting pulled into other people's negative feelings and allowing those to bog me down. I can only handle my own negative feelings and when ever I take on other peoples I only hurt myself. I don't relieve them of their negative feelings, all I did was allow them to add weight to mine. I need to focus on what I can control and stop focusing on what I can't. At work that means I focus on taking enough calls to get them off my back but also the smallest possible so I don't pimp slap the entire office. I then focus on letting other people's irritations roll off the minute they stop confiding in me. I can't focus on the negative constantly because there is way too much of it currently. 2008 is turning out to be a real pisser of a year in my not so humble opinion. I try to find what is going right and focus on that instead. Some days I have to look harder then other days but the sun was shining today and that always gets me feeling more positive. It is weird but that grumpiness has started to be normal since I moved here and experienced a few more changes in the weather then Arizona's one and a half seasons (hot and not hot respectively). I have no real issues with Winter and the grey but February and March with sun one day and rain the next is when I have a rough time adjusting.

Another positive thing was my sister called after work and we had a good talk. I love talking to my sister. Even if I started the conversation by saying I find adults annoying and jaded to start and implying that included her. I was being funny though, classic humor from me I guess (total jerk means classic humor duh!). The thing is I do believe that adults are jaded and annoying and when ever both symptoms develop is when you actually become an adult. Some 22 year olds are just annoying but have not become jaded yet so they are kids still and some 12 year olds hit jaded too young and then just being human they are annoying and at age 10 they are adults (hand them their pack of cigarettes and a dead end job). Sometimes a 60 year old regains youth by learning how to drop the jaded part. Everyone can be annoying (and probably are right now)... Admit it my theory and I are annoying you right now.

I am still up a creek as far as observational hours. I am going to 'plan b' and I am going to take an emergency day off and head to my teacher's school. I will figure out when tomorrow. I am still hoping the other jerk calls back so I can do it after regular hours. The other thing I am doing for school is working on my educational philosophy paper. I keep getting stumped and have not really been able to get anything flowing. The ideas are not coming acrossed properly at all! I have scrapped the earlier work and I am going to just write on each aspect and cull from the ideas and develop a paragraph that way. Of course I am supposedly working on that now... hence the title of the post.

I am feeling very introspective today but just about the wrong topics. Well I need to get something done on that paper so this is over for a while...

Blah...

I am feeling antsy.... there is way too much up in the air and I just feel like I need some resolution in some area of my life. I am not having any luck on the new job search and so that means I am stuck working at my dead end company. That is frustrating and I have absolutely nothing good to say about the place currently so I am just going to stop talking about work and all that is under that heading.

So what do I have to talk about? School I guess. I am on the computer all day long ever since I went back to school. I feel like I need a break but I feel bad if I actually take one. I am trying to find the balance and have not found it yet. I keep reminding myself of the end goal but with all the crap going on this is twice as stressful as it would normally be. To add to the problem I am trying to set up an observation of a classroom and have left several messages toward this endeavor. As luck would have it I get the call back while the phone was off. My call back went unreturned. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I have to write a freaking paper on this and the lack of even having it set up is making me anxious. If I could go during regular hours this would be easier but I can't. HENCE THE REASON I AM GOING TO THE SCHOOL THAT I AM!

I should probably be working on my next paper or the next reading or something but my focus is scattered. I think I may do the bare minimum paticipation tomorrow and take a night off. For sanity purposes.

By the way if you have called recently and I have blown off the call back I apologize. I am at the apathetic stage of dealing with stress. I will try to get over it soon.

I have nothing funny to add. Sorry.

And it comes to this....

Do you ever notice that when anyone feels the need to say "I am not a racist but..." means not only that they are racist but due to the disclaimer they feel unloading a bunch of garbage is acceptable? I have always been amazed by that. I hear things similar to it at work. Things like "You do understand that I'm not mad at you, right? I am just mad at..." and of course that is said while they are yelling at you and saying "YOU PEOPLE". I am not sure who they are mad at but it certainly seems like me. My favorite is "I'm not saying you're a liar but..." Today I had one come out in an email at work that was right up there. First let me say that some points were valid. That point being that if we continue to show up to work until the end of June we should expect to do some work and to do it according to their rules. I get it and I am working on it. I don't know if they recall but this stupid company told us we were not worth the money they paid us so by my estimate they have to figure that message may mess with our motivation a bit. I guess supervisors also have to do their jobs as well and I guess that is why this particular email was sent out. I have the stupid thing and I am tempted to post it here but I want to continue to be able to go to work for a while and figure I am rocking the boat enough. Hopefully not too much but who ever accused me of being timid and following a cautious line? Anyway the line that set me off was this: "There is no campaign to fire anyone or everyone, we just...." That in combination with "These resources are going to feed back to us information...." seemed pretty bad. What exacly do you need all this plotting and observing 'resources' for if this is not a campaign to fire people? I guess the message is 'big brother is watching' so shape up. Welcome to 1984! Yay.

It was sufficiently vague enough so everyone thinks 'do they mean me?' and I guess they very well might. The whole we aren't telling those doing their jobs aspect when they are clearly telling the whole team may suggest they are bringing everyone in line. The thing about it was that the only thing it did was derail people more. Going to a job with no future and maintaining positivity is challenging but to vaguely threaten everyone regardless if you are included seems stupid and demotivating at best. I understand that the goal is for them to make it until the advertised end but give me a break. If you have an issue with me speak to me and if you have an issue with someone else leave me out of it! It seems simple enough...

"Do you want the address?"

I went to the dentist and had my teeth and gums assaulted today. I set up my next appointment for September. We shall see if I have a new job and insurance when that rolls closer. I selected this dentist when I lived in Milwaukie, OR but I like her and her staff so I have no desire to find someone new. So it is actually next to the Clackamas Town Center (AKA the mall). So I headed in and wandered around the mall after my appointment. It was either that or face congestion on the way home. There have been a lot of new things opened since I moved. A new REI, a bunch of food places, and quite a few new stores. The inside got a complete upgrade and it is a nicer mall to wander around in. They also opened a movie theater! AFTER I MOVED AWAY!!!! I was looking for a backpack that was made for a laptop and ended up going to several places. I bought a messenger bag when I bought the computer but the weight kills me if I take a walk with it on. With summer coming I know I will want to be moving around outside more and I will want to drag it along where ever I go in case I come across free wifi. So I want a backpack so that it is more comfortable on my back and so both shoulders can carry the weight. The messenger bag is great for in and out but if I want to wander about my shoulder starts hurting and so does my lower back. It's awful. I went to several places looking for a backpack: REI, Target, Radioshack, Best Buy, and Walmart. I found a few at each of these places but the bags I liked were all priced at 70 to 80 bucks! The 30 to 40 dollar ones looked like little more then a regular backpack and seemed to lack the padding that had led me to my original choice of messenger bags. So I did not buy one today as I am going to keep looking and maybe they will go on sale.

I decided to pick up a frozen delight for lunch tomorrow and stopped at my local grocery store. I saw some kids with face paint and masks on and they were riding the little motorized carts around. I was wondering what that was all about but I thought "Do I really want to know?" The answer was no. So I went about shopping. When I was all paid up and was headed outside the two kids were out there carrying on. The store employees were ignoring them and acting like they were some disease ridden zombie corpse walking around looking for brains. The kids were yelling weird things and startling the old folks as they walked past. They left me alone though... Anyway they kept yelling something about "Short Bus" and "In Your Face at MySpace". It was quite pathetic and at the same time kind of strangely interesting. One of the kids yelled "We're on MySpace! Do you want the address? It's MySpace.com!" Which made me chuckle. Anyway I was thinking on my way home that those kids were marketing geniuses because I knew I would have to blog about it and I am considering looking them up on MySpace. I was thinking they have this whole idea of "Viral" advertising down. I am not sure how effective it will be in the long run but my first bit of annoyance slowly became one of admiration. Good job you annoyingly little 14 year olds!

Oh and "Do you want the address? It's MySpace.com!"

Siesta

It was beautiful today and all I could do was wish I was outside. The nice thing about Portland weather is how much it makes you love the sunny days. I never was that excited when I was in Phoenix. I always just said 'I bet it gets hotter sooner this year'. How pessimistic is that? Anyway it was absolute torture as I daydreamed about hikes and girl watching. I got none of that in. Instead I was taking calls from a bunch of half witted ungrateful jerks. Such is life. Anyway I wanted to go outside at lunch today but I did homework instead. I don't trust myself on super nice days. I may go outside and never come back. I need that paycheck!

So no jobs have even bothered to call e back after the first interview. I am not hirable I guess. NO new jobby job for me. Oh well whatever.

I have not done anything besides homework all week. Which is awesome.... Well ok so I have watched a few basketball games. We finally won one! Yay!

My weekend and a mini review of Into The Wild

It would seem that the weekend has come to it's inevitable end. Unfortunately it's time to reenter the work world and the awful Monday is bearing down. I got a few things done this weekend. I was really active Saturday. I ran errands and went to school and all the important things that go along with that. Then I went and saw Into The Wild. It was a pretty damn cool movie. **Spoiler warning: I am talking about the movie a little here so if you do not know the story and would like to keep it that way then stop here and restart at the next italicised line.** The tale is ultimately a sad one but a lot of interesting ideas sprang up in my head during and after the movie. I was impressed by the whole feel and look of the movie and glad I finally was convinced to see the movie. It was interesting to watch this young man fighting so hard to find peace in his life. I felt like he needed to stop and look around a little sooner and he would have found it in the people he met and befriended. If he had there would be no movie of course but I was just wondering what would have happened had he made it out of Alaska when he had attempted to leave. What would an intelligent and seemingly compassionate person with those experiences come back and done? What would have been his new pursuit? Would he have set the world ablaze? Would he write tales that would seem to channel Kerouak? I wanted that question answered and I felt strangely irritated with the end he met because I felt that he was incredibly self involved and that he needed to focus his energy on something more constructive. It amazed me that he never noticed how his absence affected people, everyone in the movie wanted to talk him out of this Alaskan obsession or to at least let his family know he was alive. He fought them on that the entire time, forever fixated on finding peace in isolation and living off the land. It was a compelling story and I liked the way the movie put it together. Now I intend to read the book, which I have heard is infinitely better then the movie even though that person had also liked the movie. Unfortunately because they just made this book into a movie all the used copies are gone and I do not want to pay the full price of $13.95 so I will have to wait. I am interested in how the book was put together since it was based on a real person. I want to know if anyone bothered to look up these people he met on the road and get their stories from them. I am as fascinated in the writing of the book as I am in the book itself. Maybe I am more fascinated in how the book came to be then I am the book but only slightly.
**OK I am not talking about the movie anymore.**
Anyway I woke up this morning early like I had on Saturday but today I was able to fall back asleep and I did so. I was not feeling nearly as motivated so I lounged around watching old movies and debating going to the Grove or not. I skipped out on the Grove (Sorry guys) mainly because I was feeling incredibly tired and apathetic. I plan on making it next Sunday though. I did a little errand tonight in the form of grocery shopping and then I read some of my homework and did a little online reconnaissance for the team paper due this week. Then I decided to write something here before calling it a night.

Just a check in

Hey!
I am at the Daily Cafe reading my textbook online. I love the fact that I can be away from home doing something I need to do anyway. The last class kept me chained to my home a lot considering all the reading a Master's program requires. This laptop was an excellent use of my tax refund. I needed to get this so I could stop feeling so trapped at home. I tend to get jumpy and irresponsible when I start feeling trapped. I do things like quit a job or take a trip when I don't have any time or money to really do so. So getting a little escape from the usual and to include some people watching is really helpful. It is helping me put things into perspective.
In work news, my company invited the Oregon unemployment people to come in and talk to us about how unemployment will work and what to do to make it easier on us. They also said that because I am in school I may be able to claim and not have to look for a job as well, letting me just focus on school. So if all my searching fails to lead to a job I have a backup plan. One of many. Once again I was really impressed by my company offering something to the people it has decided to ditch. Things could definately be worse.

I am rapacious!

Well I obviously never did the RTA awards on Saturday. I got kind of distracted and a wee bit apathetic.... So will they ever happen? Who knows.

Anyway I went for a fantastic little hike in the sunshine Sunday. I also got a haircut, a St. Patrick's Day shirt and a Blazers ball cap. Yeah I watched the game tonight. It was absolutely horrible. That is 5 horrible games in a row. Oh and the Kings are a bunch of cheating scumbags.

Today at work we had a job fair. I thought that was actually pretty cool of them. I almost liked them again but seeing as I am still in the midst of a new job search I am still a little irritated. I am getting over it though and every day gets easier. Ok that's a lie but I am tired of being negative about work. So we will pretend everything is awesome. I really do think it was nice for them to host a job fair. They actually seem to be trying to help us move on.

A funny thing happened at work. I was on the phone and I was explaining to someone how much they owed and she was upset about the monthly installment fee. Here is what happened.

ME: "And then add your installment fee."
HER: "You people are scoundrels!"

(here is a tip if you are on the phone with someone and you are mad about something just start throwing around "You people..." I promise they will love it!)

ME: "What was that? Ma'am a lot of companies charge the installment fees on monthly billing plans."
HER: "NO! I pay a lot of bills through my bill pay and __________ insurance is the only one who has a fee!"
ME: "OK...."
HER: "You and your company are absolutely rapacious!"
ME: "Wow! Great word!"
HER: "I will be shopping around because the fees are absolutely ridiculous! Sure I have an accident and then you double my insurance price! In 2 years you will get all that money back in my premiums. What is the point of insurance if you just pay it back in 2 years!"
ME: "Well.." she disconnects the call

There of course were hundreds of responses to her last question. Such as "you have to have it by law" or "did you have all that money two years ago?" or "Well it could have been a more serious accident that could have financially devastated you for life." I never got to try any of them because she hung up but I had succeeded in being called rapacious first! But what does rapacious mean really?
Dictionary.com says:

ra·pa·cious /rəˈpeɪʃəs/ [ruh-pey-shuhs]
–adjective
1. given to seizing for plunder or the satisfaction of greed.
2. inordinately greedy; predatory; extortionate: a rapacious disposition.
3. (of animals) subsisting by the capture of living prey; predacious.

I decided I would take her use of the word to mean the third option.... I subsist by the capture of live prey! Even if she meant the first or second option I get to choose what she meant so the third option it is. Hahahaha. I am rapacious!

New Computer!

Hello!
I am writing to you from the Daily Cafe on my new Toshiba notebook. It is awesome but now that I see it works I am ready to move on. It happens to be sunny today and I think I need to go outside and play. I will write again tonight because it is RTA day! See ya soon.

SHUNNNNNNN!!!

Well it is the middle of the week.... In case you were not really sure when Wednesday fell I have just taught you something. Anyway I am done with my first class and I am now halfway through my week off. Next week is when I have to start doing homework again. They are super fond of having papers written. I don't really get it but whatever. Anyway the 1st class, although a little tedious, was fun. I am looking forward to getting back..... kind of.

I am still showing up to my job with no future after June. I have not landed another job yet but I have an interview next week. Wish me luck.

Since I had a week free of school I decided to read a book.... now I need another book... What have you done this week?

Holy Crap! It's nearly time for the RTA's!

Greetings from 1 am Friday morning. Some of you are probably thinking what the heck is he doing up? Doesn't he have work to go to tomorrow morning? Is he not being responsible? Is he looking at porn? Is he drunk? The answers are: I am doing school work; unfortunately yes; I am being responsible; no; and unfortunately no. It just occurred to me as I finished a portion of my group project that I had not done anything at all about the 2nd Annual Repetitive Task Awards. I am just not very good at multitasking I guess. Too much drama lately. Anyway I want to remind you the contest is real and it is going on. So far the only entrant is Robert for being a Protesting Protester (also known as a communist). He is going to be a winner unless you take action. Only you can prevent this miscarriage of justice. Once again it really is easy just freaking nominate yourself for something you have to do anyway. At this point you will win. Last year I demanded the speeches before I would hand over the prizes this year you will get the prize anyway. Only requirements are that you post something about winning at some point. Anyway check this prior blog entry for more details by clicking on this nifty colored line of linkage.

Mark the 16th on your calendars! It is the day of all days! Remember 4 people can win....

Damn the Man!

I promise to not write to Eli or about Eli for a little while. I promise.

I heard back about a job today, they said no. It was the sales position for the company I currently work for. I did not really expect to get it because I was super sick that day and was having a hard time interacting as a normal human. I took that day and the next 2 off. So I was sick... I hoped the people who interviewed me took that into account but I doubted it. They would have to be more intelligent then a wheel of cheese and they weren't. I would be lying if I said I was not completely and totally pissed that they did not offer me the job. I don't get their hiring practices. I only know one person that was offered a position which must mean they decided to fill it with jackasses from off the street. How much sense does that make? Do you know how much money they spend to get the average retard ready to take calls? Why not take people that already are licensed, are familiar with the company and are used to the phones? It makes sense monetarily. This is yet another reason I will never be management material.... I have good reasoning skills. If I wanted to be a manager I would have to remember to pick whatever option made the least amount of sense. The other thing that pisses me off is of the people I know who applied for the job only 2 of us have ever sold insurance. I used to slang (def. sell) insurance for Liberty Mutual for over a year and did pretty well. I think that should mean something. So I guess what I am saying is I think the company I work for has morons in charge and that they make stupid decisions and I have no desire to even consider applying for any other job they decide to offer. Anyway I hope the company goes down in flames like Enron..... stupid window licking clowns.

I am still waiting to hear back about a position from a completely different company. I hope that works out. School is starting to take a little more time and more mental space. The job hunt is kind of in the way so I hope it ends soon.

More Football Drama for your mama!

Well I am not sure if you have been following my conversation with the Super Bowl winner, Eli Manning. I felt a little bad about beating him up and getting him in trouble with his mom. She makes a mean freaking cookie by the way so I decided to write to Eli and apologize. Here is that email:

Dear Eli Manning,
I am sorry for my words and actions of late. I know you can't help being a mediocre overrated quarterback. In fact I am glad that you have done so well for yourself. Even if I question why someone would insist so hard that they were not interested in playing and living in San Diego. Have you ever been to a beach there? Has anyone wrote "I wish they could all be snarling abrasive women from the Bronx" and put it in a song? No, no one has. I guess what I am trying (and failing) to say is we are all different and we can't all live in California and chase Californian women....

I would also like to apologize about wishing for your early demise. I really did not want to see your head pop off or your leg get torn off and used to beat you severely. I guess I was just mad that you seem so inept and stupid yet you are a millionaire. Even though you never actually worked an honest day in your life. I really don't want you to get ran over by the team bus... that would be messy.

I received your mother's cookies in the mail today. I want you to pass on my sincere thanks to her. She makes some darn tasty cookies. I took them to work and every person that works there loved them. A few people at work told me they were really excited about your upset and hoped I would put in a good word to you. I won't be doing that but if you want to come to Portland and hang out I will introduce you to them. I am sure you can sponge off them since I am sure you are not used to having to pay for anything seeing as rich and famous people get free stuff all the time.

Anyway I want to reiterate that you actually played a good game, but remember you owe your win to the defense...

Well it was nice exchanging emails. No need to reply,
Mike Williams

I know, I know, I did not take enough cheap shots at him but I felt bad for posting his emails that made him look like a 4 year old. So I only took a few cheap shots. I felt pretty good about what I had written to him overall and had not really expected much from him in response but I was wrong.

Dear Crazed Lunatik,
I am very glad you got the cookies. Thank you for saying I am the best quarterback ever. I knew you and I were the bestest of friends. I told Michael Strahan that you said he did a horrible job on defense and I think he is coming out to kill you. Sorry about that. I was having trouble reading with out my reading eye dog.... don't ask. Anyway when my dog came over and read the email it was too late to stop that crazy, man-eating Michael Strahan guy (I am sure glad he is on my team). I hope he does not kill you because I really like hanging out online with you.

My mom told me to tell you that you are very nice to compliment her cookies and that she won an award at the local fair this year for that recipe. My mom is a champion in the super "mixing" bowl. He he I made a funny. My mom says I am a very special boy. She says I have to put my safety helmet back on so hold on I will be back...

Love, Eli
Your most bestest friend ever

A few minutes later he wrote again:

Dear Crazed Lunatik,
You know what I really wanted to be asked after I won? I wanted to be asked: "Now that you are a Super Bowl Champion what is next?" That was when I would yell "I'm going to Disneyworld!" I would have said Disneyland but my mommy told me it is in California and I am afraid to go to California... I saw Boys in the Hood. That is the reason I was afraid to go. I don't want to get shot while drinking milk and eating a chocodile... Then my team would have to go and shoot them and then the other team would shoot back and it is a cycle of violence I just can't get involved in.

Anyway thanks for asking me to come to Portland, see you soon! If Michael Strahan does not murder you to death.

Love Eli
Your most favoritest quarterback ever who is also your bestest friend ever!

So I guess we are cool as hades. I hope he lets me know before he shows up in Portland.... I have to clear it with my roomie. Oh and I hope Michael Strahan reads the blog before he kills me so maybe he will realize I was saying the Giants defense won the game.... and won't kill me.

Super? Bowl....

Really?
Eli?
Oh my lord!

Talk about a bummer of an ending to the weekend. It started off great. My dad comes to visit.... we watch the Blazers play a horrible game of basketball but then completely pull it out in overtime. We spent hours in Barnes and Noble.... we had a couple great dinners, breakfasts and lunches. Everything was going fantastically well until I sat down to look at my class and realized I had missed an assignment. Am I stupid? The first assignment is something I view as not my fault. They sent an email notification that we should log in to class to a school email account I did not know I had... and that email also told us about that stupid essay. Today, when I logged in, I saw a question in the GENERAL QUESTIONS AREA (an area I had not bothered to go) about how to do the assignment. That was when I realized I had messed up... Anyway that was a sign from the devil that the weekend was going way too well and things needed to change to properly beat me into submission to go back to work tomorrow. So I was using the Elibrary provided by University of Phoenix to look up topics for this research skills assignment. Sounds kind of easy right? Well it was once the damn computer stopped giving me a 'timed out' page. Every single time for the first hour... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I finally got the thing to work about the time I realized it was time for the game. That was when I sat down and watched 3 quarters of the most boring game ever. The worst part is the person getting ran over was Tom Brady not Eli.... Hell one of Eli's best plays happened when he should have been sacked. Infuriating. Oh and even more maddening... Eli played well. You know why? He reads the blog! You don't Believe me? Well take a look at this:

Dear CrazedJERKFACE,
I love reading your blog... it helps me feel happy and I need to feel happy because as you say I am an awful quarterback. I am dreadful! I can't believe I am a starting quarterback. If I was my coach I would have me ride the pine. I would rather start Trent Dilfer. Yeah.... and he sucks. So I come here with my millions of dollars, that I use as a comforting blankie, and read your blog to help me not jump in front of the team bus or out the emergency door of the plane. Then I read your blog.... you are nothing but a horrible horrible horrible big meanie face! I would spit on you if I met you (As long as my mom was not watching since she'd tan my hide and make me give you all of my cookies that she sent to me. That would be horrible because they aren't yours Mr. smelly pants! Those cookies are mine because my mommy loves me!)Peyton told me to call you Poopface McPoopy right now. He says that you are just mad because I am the worst quarterback ever and no one knows it but us! HEY! WAIT! YOU TAKE THAT BACK PEYTON! I AM TELLING MOM! I'll finish this later!
I HATE YOU!
Love, Eli

So I wrote back:

You read my blog? WHO IS THIS REALLY?
Sincerely, Poopface McPoopy

It was sometime on Saturday when I finally got a response. Here it is:

Dear Crazed Lunatik,
My mom says I should not call you names. I am sending you the cookies she made..... she says I should just do my best and prove you wrong. My dad has been making me run drills all day and Peyton has been playing rusher. He always punches me when he sacks me and I hate him. He is not nice! He is always doing commercials! Wait... uh I'm like totally not jealous of my brother. Anyway when I win tomorrow do not be suprised. I signed my soul over to the devil.... he said it was not good enough so I also signed over my brothers. Please don't tell Peyton and especially don't tell the Devil about me telling you. My mom says it is time to go to bed..... Oh and by the way the devil got even with you for me. Log into class you have an assignment that is past due... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Love,
Your bestest pal ever.... ELI

So as you can see all of Sunday's badness can be traced back to Eli. No wonder Peyton did not look happy for most of the game. Anyway good job you stupid jerk. Don't forget to thank your completely awesome defense.....

This weekend and my Superbowl endorsement

I am very excited about going to the Blazer game and having my dad visit this weekend. I am also excited about the upcoming Superbowl and hope the patriots run over Eli Manning. Preferably with a team bus in the parking lot but I will also take the defense sacking him the entire game. I have a wee bit of an issue with him if you couldn't tell. First there was the whole tantrum he threw when San Diego drafted him. He insisted on going somewhere else like a big baby and I just thought that was amazingly petty. I think I would rather be in San Diego with Ladanian over stupid New York. Yeah I said it, New York is stupid! Mainly because I hate their sports teams and no other real reason since I have never been there myself. The whole East coast is pretty lame... once again simply referring to sports. Boston seems to be the only place capable of producing a good team. The other reason I hate Eli is that he seems to get all this praise from the sportscasters but he is a terrible quarterback. Most of the teams touchdowns are made despite his best efforts. He tends to throw bad passes that put his recievers in jeopardy. He throws too high and they have to jump and get their legs swept as they do so which could result in a bad landing witrh a season ending and even a career ending injury. He also throws the ball away a lot, right to the sidelines like he thought the water boy was a potential reciever. The team has great recievers and a good running game and they are the reason they made it to the Superbowl not ELi. Eli is not a team leader, he is simply an idiot. Boo Eli!

Go Patriots!

Holla!

Hello all,
Sorry I have been MIA for a while. I have been busy and lazy all at the same time. So anyway school was interesting on Saturday. I walked in and discovered we had an assignment due. First day and a paper is due. I was a wee bit miffed. Luckily the teacher was understanding and allowed the small group of us that were not in the loop to turn in the paper the following day. I wrote a 2 page paper about why I had decided on this major. I had to trim it a bit because I was just getting going and I realized I had hit the word maximum. The first class seems really easy but I figure they are focusing on teaching you how to use this 'Flexnet' system. The students have all sorts of backgrounds and age ranges so you can not expect everyone to know how to use the system. Even though it is easy it has a lot of busy work associated with it so the class has kept me pretty busy. In fact I will be logging on and participating after I get done blathering to you.

As far as job hunt news goes I had my second interview for a position with another insurance company on Monday and hope to hear positive news from them by the end of next week. Since I do not believe in pinning all hopes in one place I set up my resume on two of the main job search sites. I have sent resumes to several jobs already and hope to hear some positive news that results in me getting out of the current dead end. The dead end is a battle to make it through every day and I can't wait until I have another place to go to.

This weekend my father is coming up for the Blazer vs. Knicks game. My roommate, dad and I are going to it Friday night. We get to boo former Blazer Zach Randolph. Yay!

The impending weekend

Well this is a big weekend for me. From here on out I am a school attending fool! My 1st class starts tomorrow! Some of you may have read I went home sick on Wednesday... well I also was at home Thursday and Friday. I did not want to be sick when I went to my first class. I wanted to be with it and ready to charge into the action. So I took the time off to insure proper health. It did not hurt that I also managed an interview or two in that time frame but mainly I was at home watching movies and sleeping. I feel a lot better then I did earlier this week as a result. Anyway wish me luck as I begin my masters degree program.

You're Precocious!

I was looking around at what other reviewers were saying about the movies I reviewed recently. I noticed a disturbing trend when it came to the movie Juno. Everyone felt it necessary to use the word precocious. I hate that word. It is used whenever any show has teenagers or kids who are actually intelligent. I don't know about you but I know several teenagers who are more intelligent then quite a few adults. So why does it seem shocking that when people make a movie showing young adults in interesting situations that they react reasonably and intelligently? Precocious is a word that makes you sound like an ageist and a pompous ass. Stop using that word, it is dumb. Teenagers are not stupid. They are usually impulsive and don't always think things through but so are a lot of 30 year olds. Hell I know a lot of impulsive 50 year olds. It is part of human nature to occasionally say or do stupid things. It is also part of human nature to occasionally do the right thing and make the right decision, regardless of age. In fact I think kids tend to see answers adults over look. I have decided I will no longer read reviewers that write the word precocious. It is my petty little boycott of a stupid word. Say it out loud and then try to tell me it didn't just make you sound like a snobby sanctimonious (that word is nearly as bad as precocious except that it is very fun to say) jerk. In fact, saying the word precocious out loud probably made you feel like a retard. The person next to you is thinking "Wow, who uses the word Precocious? What a pompous ass!"

In case you are not familiar with the word Dictionary.com defines it as: unusually advanced or mature in development, esp. mental development: a precocious child.

Interviews are dumb

Hello!
Well I am writing from home at 10:30 in the morning on a Wednesday. I just got back from my interview for the Sales position at my current company. Nothing bad is happening to the sales team in Portland just the service side. Anyway I am also combating a cold so I took the rest of the day off. I dragged my sorry carcass in for the interview and I think I single handedly sunk any hope of getting this position. My brain was not up to speed and the questions they asked kept stumping me. These questions are new since I last had a parade of interviews. They take stupidity to a whole new level. I hate being asked to say what a person who likes me and a person who doesn't like me would say my weaknesses are. I don't know. Next time I have a free moment I will go slug someone and say 'now that you don't like me what would you say my weaknesses are?' Here is the thing... I don't care what people who don't like me say or feel about me. I really don't think that is a question I would ask someone who likes me either. Who has answers for this pscho-analytical bs? I can come up with a lot of weird wild stories off the top of my head but these interview questions were not working for me. As many of you faithful readers know I was no stranger to the interview. I interviewed all over the place for all types of positions. The questions were almost all the same and I had answers for them. Now I am out of practice and the questions are different and seem to be "Let's talk about why you suck!" Well I have a phone interview at 3, hopefully that goes better.

The Return of RTA!

Yes you read that right. I am announcing the 2nd Annual Repetitive Task Awards. This time with a firm deadline in place, February 16th.

What is the Repetitive Task Awards about?
Well it's an award show for people that are not overpaid sports stars, actors or musicians. It is an award show for the average joe. It awards those that do the same tasks daily to pay the bill collectors. The little guy needs recognition.

How can I be part of the Repetitive Task Awards?
First of all you can't be famous or rich. Second you need to have a job you do that you may or may not like. You need to be a wage donkey. Third you need to be nominated. You can nominate yourself but people need to be nominated and there needs to be a reason. Like I nominate myself for the Going To Work award because I have not played hookey in over a year. I of course can not participate so that is an example.

What kind of tasks are being awarded?
I am glad you asked. The first is Going to Work. The second is Paying Bills. The third is Answering Your Phone. And the fourth is for Packing a Lunch to Work Daily.

What if I think your categories are lame?
Feel free to suggest one and if it is popular or cool I will bump one of mine for it. Remember to really sell the idea.

What if noone nominates themselves?
Well then nobody wins. I will only award 4 people in 4 seperate categories so if you want to win and no one is in a category pitch your tent there.

Can I protest?
Sure.... as my cousin found out it doesn't deter me. In fact I find it all very amusing. Hence the 2nd Annual RTA.... In fact protesting might net you an RTA this year. It really should have last year.

The Prizes?
Well I have not designed it yet but I am coming up with the idea. I will announce them later. Which brings up a good point. I will need addresses if you win. I will actually send you some stupid award trinket.... They are awesome. Just ask my dad since he was the only winner last year.

The Fine Print
I want an acceptance speech.... so if you nominate yourself please have an acceptance speech ready in case you win.

A Rambling Review of Juno

So the bonus movie I saw on Saturday was far better then the one I paid for and it seemed that I stumbled into the theater by chance. I was debating where to go and had kept walking past movies I did not want to see and was at the end of the row. I was looking at the Water Horse, Sweeney Todd or Juno. I went for Juno because the commercials had made me laugh and the Water Horse had made me want to punch small fluffy animals. (not really the commercial just made me not want to see it) As luck would have it I made a smart choice as this movie had not started yet but was moments away from doing so. Within 2 minutes the lights dimmed and the movie started....



What's it about? A spoiler warning: I won't tell as much as I did about Cloverfield because I don't have a grudge against this flick but I may tell some plot points so just be warned.

So Juno is a girl and we learn in the middle of the movie her name is from the mythological Juno not the town in Alaska. Anyway we are introduced to her as she is downing a jug of Sunny D! I was wondering how she was getting it all down when she walks into a little grocery store and grabs a pregnancy test. Apparently her third test since she had not liked what the first 2 had said. So she is pregnant and the boy behind it is the kid who was also in Superbad, not the bespectacled dorky McLovin kid but the other dorky skinny kid. The interesting thing is he is not a jerk and kind of finds out she is pregnant and that she is 'taking care of it' all in one fell swoop. You kind of feel bad for him since he does not seem to know what is going on or how to react. Our main character Juno has quite the swagger and she is head strong so I was automatically rooting for her. She decides to go to Women Now and have an abortion. She happens to know the lone protester and stops to converse with her and the protester tells her that babies have fingernails and for whatever reason that is the straw that breaks the camels back. She decides to have the baby and give it up for adoption. Her best friend helps her find the right parents by looking in the Pennysaver.... I had no idea you could sell or buy a baby via the Pennysaver. Then she goes to tell her dad and stepmom who handle her pregnancy very well. Meanwhile the poor guy is kind of like not even an issue. The next thing you know you meet the adopters. Jennifer Garner is a neat freak who desperately wants kids and you can tell by her house she has no clue what children are about. Then there is the husband who seems pretty cool he used to be in a band and seems to be the odd piece that does not quite fit into Jennifer's puzzle. So anyway Juno starts getting bigger and we watch this wise cracking girl deal with a lot of things that people her age are not supposed to have to but she does deal with them very well. She also made me laugh a lot. I liked this movie and I recommend you see it to see how the pregnancy, the non mother like wannabe mom, the ex-rocker husband, the boy who got left behind and a slightly strange but well meaning family cope with a strange situation. It is clever and funny. At times somethings she says and the way she said it channeled Napoleon Dynamite a bit but she is smarter then he ever could be and if you hated him you won't hate her. It is funny that the act that started all this is often referred to having occured because she was bored.... I wish I had more bored girls around me. Not for them to get pregnant but for the other reason... hehehe.

Anyway see the movie... I would even have paid for this one. I wish I had paid to see it instead of giving my money to Cloverfield.

My Rambling Review of Cloverfield

This movie sucked.... really. Have you ever been forced to watch some family video that some one who had not quite mastered how to move with a camera was in charge of shooting? Remember how the quick pans and the juggling of the camera kind of irritated you? Maybe it even made you feel a wee bit queasy.... Well the retards who shot Cloverfield thought hey let's do an entire movie like that. For all that is holy, why?! How is this getting any positive press at all? I was complaining about the shaky camera thing in the Bourne movies but this is way worse. Within the first 10 minutes I knew I had wasted my money. So why did I continue watching? Well I kept waiting for these characters, that were lame, to die and for whoever was viewing this archival film to take over and the good part to start. Then when I realized THIS was the movie I kept hoping it would end soon. It was the longest hour and a half ever.



So what is it about? This would be the part where I tell you all about the movie. So totally a Spoiler warning here.

I am glad you asked.... I have no freaking clue. No really, I don't have a clue. Here is what you see. Someone logs into an archive and starts playing a film from the Cloverfield file. It starts with a couple in a fancy apartment talking about going to Coney Island and then cuts to another couple playing with the camera while the girl tells the boy to film people saying goodbye to his brother at a going away party. The guy doesn't want to do it so he pawns it off on his brother's seemingly retarded friend. So we see a bunch of boring party scenes and the retarded friend hitting on some girl who wishes he would just drop dead... or at least that's what her eyes were saying. Then the brother shows up and it is the guy who was in the beginning... apparently this is his camera and they are taping over his dream day with the girl of his dreams that he slept with and then blew off. Don't you wish you could be the object of his desire? Real nice guy, right? Anyway the girl shows up with some other guy... obviously to piss him off and they argue and she leaves. Then there is an explosion and guess what it sounds like an explosion but every character says "was that an earthquake?" Apparently to be in New York you have to think explosions are earthquakes... apparently. They all run to the roof to see the earthquake, I guess.... when another explosion goes off and they all run back inside and down the stairs as huge pieces of shrapnel demolish nearby buildings. They stop calling it an earthquake. As a group they all run outside as a cloud of dust and whatever blows through and they take refuge in a convenience store. Then they get the bright idea to go outside. While outside the girl that was blowing off our stupid camera man is out there and looks scared and is talking about something eating people. So they decide to get out of Manhattan and they are crossing the Brooklyn bridge when something takes the bridge out and the brother who was supposed to be filming dies..... boo hoo. Then they run back across and the brother that is alive gets a call from the girl he slept with and ditched and she is whining about bleeding and being scared. So they go the other direction into the middle of Manhattan to save her. 4 people... the brother, the girlfriend of the dead brother, the girl who hates the camera guy and the camera guy. It does not get any better. Everyone else from the party is either dead or smarter then these 4. They finally show the monster and he is really badly computer generated and is completely lame looking. We of course know nothing about it but apparently he is shedding little biting things that look even stupider then it did. So the 4 brain surgeons go underground into the subway and decide to walk in the dark through the tunnels. Of course the bitey things are following them and when the 4 rocket scientists see rats running past them they stop to discuss it. I am sorry but if I am ever anywhere that rats are running en masse in a direction I am going to run that way too. I don't know a lot about rats but I do know that if they are all running past you like that you should probably run.... I mean come on! So anyway they get attacked and the evil eye chick gets bit. Which is bad... they somehow stumble into the army and the army freaks out about the bitten chick and they lead her to quarantine where I think she exploded or something. Anyway they continue to go for the chick who was calling about bleeding like 20 some odd years ago... The apartment she lives in is of course collapsed into another and is actually leaning against it. That does not deter them. They go up the building being leaned on and cross over onto the roof of the leaning building she lives in. She is still in the apartment and alive.. even though she has a random metal bar through her. I am not sure how the re-bar ended up in the middle of her floor for her to fall through but it was awfully convenient. They pull her off it and she is all wobbly but like a minute later she is fine. She can run like the wind somehow... I guess that's what happens when you impale yourself and bleed for hours.... So yeah they run back and somehow meet up with the army again. One person gets out by helicopter then the other 3 get on another one that gets totally slapped by the stupid cg monster like a cat swats a toy. All three live through the crash landing but the pilots don't. Then finally the camera guy dies and then a few minutes later so does the girl they rescued and the guy who slept with her. That's it, that is the end. We have no idea what happened to the monster or the person who got on the first helicopter. We don't know anything at all except that I just paid money to see a dumb poorly shot movie. I don't know where the monster came from or if the last attack actually killed it but hey at least those characters finally died.

The camera guy did say a few funny things but they were not worth seeing this movie for. Oh my goodness this movie was bad! So bad that I decided to walk into another movie without paying. I figured 6.75 for the movie and 8 bucks for popcorn and soda meant that I deserved another movie.... in fact I think everyone deserves more free movies. Anyway that movie was much better but that will be another review.

My Weekend and the return to The Wing Stop

Well it was a good ending to a bad week. It was potluck day at work and I brought chocolate and Chex mix. There was a lot of good stuff there too eat and I did so... all freaking day actually. Man.... I was full when I left work. I was so busy eating and playing phone tag with a person calling about my resume that I only took about 2/3 of the calls I normally take. My company set up an interview with me for a sales position (sales is not getting the boot just service). That will happen Wednesday and so will a screening interview for another position at another company. So Wednesday is a big day. I ended the night by eating Thai food. It was great.

Saturday was interesting I went out to eat at Old Chicago. I had the beer I had wanted the night before and their pizza rolls and antipasto salad. Then I headed down and watched a movie and then another one. I will review them both but not in this entry. To end the day I went back to the Wing Stop. I ordered the Hawaiian and Cajun flavored wings. I skipped the beer and had them give me non-seasoned fries. I kind of liked the Cajun, I would have done it a little different but I did enjoy eating them so that is what counts. The Hawaiian was a little disappointing. I was not sure what it was that I expected but it was not what I ate. They weren't bad just I had expected like a pineapple flavor or something but it wasn't really that. It was like a weak teriyaki and barbeque combination. The fries without the seasoning was quite a bit of an improvement. I was able to control the salt. I think I want to try the Garlic Parmesan flavor... I am sure it will be like the lemon pepper and be way too salty which is why I skipped it. So far I am not sold on the whole idea of the Wing Stop but I am not completely against it. I will probably go there again if I see a movie at the theater but I am not going there only to have the wings.

Today I went to the Grove and I read a bunch of poetry, some was good and but a lot were bad. Right now I am watching Football and rooting for Green Bay... I hate Eli with a passion. Anyway I think I will start the reviews for the movies I saw.

Mo' Drama

Well it seems odd to say that this week has been much worse then last week.... unfortunately there is no way that it wasn't. Wednesday we learned the company is letting a lot of people go in call centers in other states. There goal is too move all service into a few main centers and not have so many centers. A lot of people found out Wednesday that they will be out of a job soon. Let me tell you that even with 5 months notice, losing your job sucks. The horrible thing is I understand why they are doing it. If you can pay less money and still provide service you have to provide why wouldn't you. So what will happen is service level may drop for a while as the new employees learn how to do the job and the old employees that are jobless soon lose motivation. Plus change sends ripples as I was reminded during the last few days when I spoke to agents that call from the field for help. Some have lost faith and worry that the company has forgotten that they provide a service in exchange for money and to continue to grow you need to provide competent and quality service. Word of mouth can make you big.... of course so can good marketing. So trust is lost but you are hiring and building a new community of service people so it will just be a little while until you get completely on track. The new employees will be far more malleable and they will be considerably cheaper then the 20 to 30 year career workers you just left behind. Then you just built in a place that costs less to do business in and perhaps the starting wage is also lower (I can not confirm this since I am not applying for a job in these cities because the cost to do business is low for a reason.... it's a crap place to live). The only potential losers are your customers while the change over is in progress and the new hires get up to speed.

I think in a job like I do paying more intelligent people to do the work is good because they can think and be creative. Sometimes a problems solution requires you to look through the lines and see the reality of the situation. What is getting a disputed 5 bucks versus keeping a customer? So why would you be looking for the way to save money on employees? You get what you pay for right? The people that are not able to see past the rules will always follow the rules. Which is good but also very dangerous. So maybe there is an even steeper learning curve because you are saving money on your work force. You could always give out super long walking papers which will help you continue to train your new window lickers. Intelligent people will leave you one day anyway, the new breed of employees just use the company back. Get what you can and jump to a better gig when you can. So it's a big win right?

Anyway in other news my roommate is having all kinds of drama.... his son is moving across the country without him. So it has been super stressful at home too. It isn't fair to either my roommate or the little guy to separate them even more but what can you do but hope it ends up being just for the short term. Until his son leaves I told my roommate to make sure he took the little guy as much as he could. I will help as much as I can. This is way more important then anything I have going at the moment.

So send us some good vibes up here in the NorthWest... We need it. Stress is at a high level right now and we could always use the love.

The Weekend in summary

Orientation for school was all about what we needed to do to become a teacher. We need to take several tests that the school districts require: the cbest, the orela and a few praxis tests. The praxis tests are for middle school and high school teachers and I would think that since I want to be an elementary teacher I could skip all of that. The reality is my degree is for elementary and middle so I think I do have to take them. All of these tests cost money of course and they need to be done before I can student teach. That is at the end of 2009 but there are not that many test days so I need to get on it so I am signing up for the next test which is in April. Then we found out we need to get fingerprinted. Which means 15 bucks for the fingerprinting and then we need to pay 62 bucks for the processing. Yeah..... I have been fingerprinted like 12 times for insurance but none of that matters. So yeah I am real excited about getting fingerprinted again.... Anyway I have to because for whatever reason fingerprints aren't shared anywhere for any reason. Maybe my fingerprints change depending on the reason for the fingerprint being done. Like maybe my fingerprints for the California insurance license look different then the Oregon License. So naturally teacher fingerprints will look different then insurance license fingerprints. Right? Anyway that has nothing to do with what we do at school... all that is separate. So it will cost a bundle of money! Yay! At least there were free snacks at orientation.

I headed over to California Pizza Kitchen after the orientation meeting because I had a gift card. I ordered a sangria and a barbecue chicken pizza then finished it off by an alcoholic coffee. This was a decent meal and would have been satisfying if that stupid gift card had not expired. Of course they did not believe that it was valid or that I never had used it and advised I ask the person who gave it to me to bring in the reciept. Well... that would be fine if the person who gave it to me had bought the damn thing. So anyway I paid for the meal that I had only ordered because I thought I would not have to pay for it. Had I known I would be out of pocket on this one I would have went to Fuddruckers which was up the road from the place. It would have been much more satisfying.... next time. I went home and watched Old School until I recieved a call to go out. I went to a bar down town and played pool and had a few beverages. It was a nice evening.

I slept in on Sunday and when I got up I had a nice surprise. The sun came out on Sunday..... which seems appropriate considering the name of the day. I wandered through the neighborhood and soaked up some sun. I ended my walkabout with a stop at the Daily (a great coffee, restaurant, market near me) for a cappuccino and then when I got home I hopped in the car to do some shopping for lunches. I ended the night by watching the premiere of the terminator show and the new family guy show. It was the most boring Family Guy episode ever...

How am I doing? No! How are you doing!?

Some people asked me how I was doing yesterday. Well, I don't know, I was off and had nothing that I really needed to do. So I guess I was doing pretty good and I still am. I know now that I have to get another job by or before June. I can look and still be a little picky since I am employed. Still I have to look for a job and I am close to getting motivated. You may be thinking "Wait... You aren't motivated yet?" Well yes and no. I am ready to have a new job that is not disappearing in June but I am not ready to start the hunt... I hate the hunt. I hate that you send out a bunch of resumes and you might get a call back on 1 but the other 20 just kind of go no where. It seems like if you run an ad you should at least tell people to buzz off. I hate interviewing because it is more about wording the answer that they want to hear in the best possible way rather then finding out if you are the right fit for the job. When anyone is honest they don't get the job. Try answering "To pay the bills" when they ask why you applied for a job with their company and see how far you get. Anyway I am getting myself mentally prepared for the hunt and I hope to be sending out the resume by next week. The resume is already up to date from a few months ago when we thought we were toast then. I should have followed my instincts and kept looking but it all comes back to hating the hunt.

Anyway I was off yesterday so I watched 3:10 to Yuma. It was pretty violent but I liked it. I don't really feel like reviewing it since my mind was divided yesterday between wondering 'now what?' and viewing the film. So some scenes I was thinking 'what is going on?' but I am not sure if that was the movie or just me. Then I headed to a meeting for the Grove Review. Where I joined the small group of people for a beer and we talked about things that need to get done and whatever else floated through our heads. It was a nice break from worrying about my job. I exchanged my stack for a new stack of poetry to be read and we parted ways. I went South to a place called Philadelphia's and had a philly cheese steak and an Independence IPA. I was happy and contented so I headed back to my apartment where the evening plan I had been hoping would go from a maybe to a definite got washed down the drain so I watched TV all night instead. This morning I got up and decided to fill you in on how I was doing and tell you I had a good day yesterday. When I am done writing and editing this blog entry I am going to shower and then head to my orientation for school at 1:30.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Jobs are awesome!

As I started out the new year I was looking forward to getting back to school and feeling pretty nervous about that endeavor. I was wondering how much free time I would have and how I would pay for school while I was in and how to pay the loans when I was done. I even worried about the student teaching that ends the degree program. I was worried about my schooling and I was only focused on that. Maybe that was why I was blind sighted today by a new development. I might have been unprepared for it but I was not surprised when it happened. In fact there are several blog entries regarding the events of today possibly happening in the future. I was just hoping for it wouldn't and I would have enough time to get nearly through school.....

Today at work they pulled everyone off the phones at work and let us know our jobs would be over by June. Yeah we are being laid off.... Like I said I was not without suspicions but I had let my guard down and was envisioning working with this company to see me through the next 2 years of schooling. I just wanted something I was already used to and I wanted to have one thing on my resume that showed long term ability. I also had been watching them get everyone trained to take calls on the new system and thought that with the cost of training they were making a long term commitment... maybe a year or even two. And I may have been feeling a little trapped lately but I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. I could see daylight and I felt like it was do-able. Now the tiny cave has been bombed and all I see is daylight but now I see a huge hole in the floor with a bunch of sharp jagged edges waiting below....

Hahaha yeah. So was I just saying the cave was too dark for me to see the dangerous hole or is the hole a new development as a result of the bombing? I don't know I only come up with the words, I can not possibly be expected to define them or explain their true meaning. Or can I?

Anyway so I have been trying to figure out the answer to "Now what?" I have several ideas but not very many of them are ones I am overly excited about. I did not want to be back on the job hunt circuit, I hate looking for jobs because interviews suck! I think at the moment I am just going to spend tomorrow (I luckily had it as a planned day off) and the weekend dealing with school and regrouping to go back to work and resume my normal job on Monday. That is my temporary plan.... I am just going to hang in there for now. In case you are reading this Mark... See you Monday :)

I may hang in there until June and that is an idea I am completely ok with. However I have my ear to the streets and I am not letting anything pass without picking it up shaking it and seeing what it has to offer.

The day started off interestingly, I had a cup of coffee from home that I had poured too much flavored creamer into and it was so sweet it made my stomach turn. So I was not drinking the stupid thing and I needed it because I was exhausted. So I was taking calls and handling a lot of follow up work when it got near my break time. I told a co-worker that I wanted to join him on his daily coffee jaunt and we headed down the street to a little coffee shop in a nearby office building. We were bs'n about school (he's in school too) and what not as we made the trip. When we walked back in we saw an empty call center.... my co-worker turned to me and said I think we just got laid off. We were approached and told by a supervisor to join everyone in a large conference room. When we entered, the meeting was going on already and a big wig I had never seen before was talking to everyone. He turned it over to someone I was familiar with and she laid it out for us. Sorta. They told us in a lot of words that we were toast and then assured us it was not due to our performance. Well yeah I could have told them that... If it was due to performance we would be guaranteed our jobs! Yeah I am saying there are a lot of people in other locations that tend to make my work harder... I am told this by the customers and other agents in local offices on a weekly basis. I do try to do what is right for the customers I deal with and the company as well. In fact just yesterday I bent over backwards to help a guy out and he said I was a great reason he would recommend the company to friends... Hey dude they just got rid of a reason! Anyway they fed us lunch (which was nice)and I had my 'shut up and deal' roast beef sandwich meal. I ended up not feeling very hungry and ate a few bites and the cookie oly which let me know I was stressed. I was not sure I was but apparently I am since my tummy is still upset. I did not take another call for the rest of the day. I was not sure I could provide the customers with the service they may or may not deserve and like I said I want to have the option of staying here until the end. So I made a decision to just call it a day on helping people. I was hanging in there at work for a meeting they promised in the big meeting and then that meeting had no answers except that they will get answers for us later. It was a great thing to stick around for... and that is definitely sarcasm. When I finally got home I crashed. It had been one hell of a day.

Hellos from the works!

Well I can't say that the callers at work have been having a very happy new year. They are all pissed off... On the second I just figured it was still the hangover but today, Saturday the 5th, I find that harder to believe. In reality what I think it is is that people are broke after the holidays and then they recieve their bills and they call in and take out their aggression on whoever is lucky enough to get their call. Not everyone is mean and nasty but enough of them are that the days seem to be longer then normal. Anyway I am at work and the phone won't stop ringing and everyone wants to grill me about something that is costing them a dollar more then it did the year before and I am feeling tired. So I decided to blog about the weekon my 15 minute break....

I made dinner on Thursday and for those that know I mean I chopped, marinated and cooked. I made beef stir fry and it was pretty darn tasty. My roommate liked it too. I had red, yellow and orange bell peppers, carrots, broccoli, onion and beef (I was planning on chicken but the chicken would have cost more for less meat, which is strange) Anyway it was fun to cook again since it has been so long. I had fallen into the trap of heating and eating. Whether it be a microwaveable burrito or something from a can I was not doing much besides adding water.... So I decided to mix it up a bit and get back to cooking more. I think I need to do burritos next... yay burritos!

I am procrastinating on my novel. It is halfway edited and half of the edited part is retyped but I am hung up exactly where I was when I was writing. I am not sure where I took it is where it wanted to go so I am debating a major rewrite of the last half. I think it would work better and get me back closer to familiar territory if I did the rewrite I am considering.... but it will take some work and I am feeling lazy. Well I have to get back to the phones....

A Rambling Review of I Am Legend

Shortly after the hair cut and the wings (see the review of The Wing Spot below) I headed over to the theater. I went and saw 'I Am Legend'. Now this was a movie I wanted to see. When I saw the preview at the theater I said "Wow.... I want to see that!" My roommate was saying "I do not want to see that" at the exact same time. So I knew this would be a movie I would see by myself. Since he had plans with the small fry I figured this would be a good time to see it. Well that is all the introduction I feel like putting out there so with out further ado here is the Rambling Review of I Am Legend.



This is a total spoiler warning!
If you do not want the movie spoiled just skip this paragraph and begin reading at the next bold sentence. This spoiler does not include the ending, just a lot of plot details....

In the near future the cure for cancer is found. It cures every one all the time.... unfortunately it's side affects include turning you into a man eating monster. Within 3 years the world has been decimated. We meet our compelling protagonist, Robert Neville, in an urban waste land. It's New York City like you have never seen it and it is completely empty. He is the only human left and his only counterpart is a dog named Sam. Robert Neville is a scientist/doctor that worked for the army and had at one time been charged with the task to figure out how to reverse the damage the cure had wrought. They are regulated by Robert's watch and it seems he spends part of the day hunting deer with a automatic rifle and a Ford Mustang with the window sticker still in the car window. He is about to get one when a lion jumps out scaring me half to death and chomps down on the deers neck. His wrist watch goes off and he glances at the sky to see it setting and he tells Sam it is time to go as they slowly back up. He gets to his home and does a lot to cover the signs he lives there, he eats dinner and then washes the dog when his watch goes off again he closes all the windows with metal shutters and bars the doors. You see him in the fetal position in the tub as the scary sounds of the night increase. The next day he gets up goes to his lab where he continues to try and cure the plague and sees a promising development in one of his rats, then he works out and sets out for another day. He spends part of the day sitting on a pier waiting for survivors that he does not really believe will come, another part of the day checking out apartments for usable supplies, and the other getting another movie from the rental place. As he walks in he talks to the mannequins he has set up outside the store and he interacts with the mannequins in the store. He deposits some movies and grabs a few while looking over at a female mannequin that he seems to be interested in. She seems more interested in the adult dvd section. He asks the mannequin store clerk who she is but of course he is met with silence, he bids the mannequin a good day as he says he grabbed a movie from the middle of the G section. He heads out to pick corn where he has a conversation with his dog Sam and somehow ends up promising to talk to the mannequin the next day. He heads home and we flash to the next day where he is once again hunting for deer and they are tracking it when it darts off into a dark building. Sam follows it in and ends up being trapped inside. Robert goes after the dog and sees a nest of human like monsters. He rescues the dog unhurt luckily but he goes back to capture one of them so he can try out his new serum he had seen succeed with the rats. It does not work but we find out more about the virus. Apparently it is airborne for humans but he is immune, the other way to get it is a bite and that is how dogs can get it. Meanwhile as this is all going on he has been having flashbacks where we learn he was the army's top scientist and heralded as the savior from the virus. We also learn he had a wife and a daughter. We see Manhattan's last days as a thriving mecca as it is deemed a quarantine zone and he rushes to get his wife and daughter off the island. He is staying because it is also ground zero and he is determined to see the cure through. The disease becomes airborne and decimates the world's human population but he still is searching for the cure now years later. A bad thing is he has become a person of interest for a leader type for the people monsters. He takes one of the mannequins from outside the movie store to another spot. This catches Robert's eye and he goes totally nuts and falls right into the exact trap he had set for the person he had captured. He is hanging suspended and out cold while the dog is barking and his watch is going off. When he wakes up the sun is going down. He cuts himself free and ends up getting hurt further. As the sun continues to set the head monster dude comes out with three huge mutated dogs. He is trying to get out of there and back to his car as the dogs pounce. His dog Sam is battling as hard as it can as he finally grabs the gun and starts firing at the Hell hounds. He manages to take the three down but not before his dog gets bitten. He takes her home but loses her to the disease. Mad with grief he goes out but without the watch regulating him. He talks to the mannequin chick like he promised Sam but of course she never speaks back and he is begging her to speak, it was crazy. Then he is sitting on the pier as night comes and you are like 'What are you doing WILL!' but then as the monsters are advancing a car comes blaring into them and he is in the car getting revenge. The battle is intense and he almost dies but a smart, healthy and more importantly real woman finds him and rescues him. She takes him back to his house as we see in a flashback the fate of his wife and child..... The woman brings with her hope that he does not believe in because he is a man of belief and not hope or faith. Will she lead him to salvation? Will he let her?



My 2 cents...
I liked this movie. I was engaged and watching all these happenings in horrified awe as the magnitude that the movie takes on is displayed. A completely deteriorating Times Square? Fantastic really. There is a scene where he is practicing his golf swing on top of a Blackbird spy plane that is on top of an air craft carrier. The fabled bridges are in ruins cutting the island off from the rest of the world but unfortunately not able to stem the plague's fearsome spread. He is in a world all by himself and it is compelling. I really liked this movie and I enjoyed his moments of psychosis as he talks to the mannequins. I would totally recommend this movie. It was very interesting and Will Smith did a great job.... again.

One thing I would caution you is if you are like the idiot behind me who kept whispering super loudly and making disgusted noises when Will was talking to the mannequins.... never ever ever run in to me again because I will totally end you! I even said audibly 'Shut up you idiot!' which is something I never do. Well mostly. Of course you paid it no mind. You should be grateful no one has bought me a tazer or you would have been tazed the entire movie.... I HATE YOU, YOU MORON!

A Rambling Review of The Wing Stop

First off I have to say Happy New Year! Hope 2008 is kind to you.

Last night I was without a plan and without a person to hang out with. Everyone was already busy, like my roommate who spent his night with his son. So I just decided to go out. I headed to a place near the movie theater I had found a movie to watch. The place was called The Wing Stop and I had been inundated by commercials on the cable channels and wanted to give them a shot. I stopped off to get a haircut(it was right next door) and then walked in to The Wing Stop. It was in a small spot. It was mostly kitchen but it had about 10 tables and 2 TV's. One of which was playing the Blazer game.... unfortunately their win streak ended as I ate wings and sipped a beer. Anyway The Wing Stop seems to have spread across the US pretty quickly as they have locations in 28 states. It has Troy Aikman on the web site saying these are the best wings he has ever had in his life. So far no one has asked him if these were the best wings he has had in anyone else's life.... Yeah.



So anyway they boast 9 flavors but while I was there I heard of 2 other flavors.... Insanity and medium, I did not order either of them. The flavors on the menu include Atomic, Cajun, Original Hot, Mild, Lemon Pepper, Garlic Parmesan, Hickory Smoked Barbeque, Hawaiian and Teriyaki. So I was in there deciding what to get and the guy suggested the meal deal. It had 10 wings that you could choose two flavors, seasoned fries and a beverage for 9 bucks. They have beer though.... so I upgraded the combo from a soda to a beer for 10.50. They had 4 beers on tap and 3 of them were good options and then they have a big cooler of even more options. I chose a Lagunitas IPA and the wing flavors of Original Hot and Lemon Pepper. As I sipped my beer and watched the Blazer game they started frying those wings up, which is cool that they don't have it pre-made. Soon I was presented with my wings and fries and I dug in. The first thing I noticed was I did not like the seasoning on the fries. If I was to do fries again, they were the kind with the tater skins still on and they should have been awesome, I would have them skip the seasoning and salt them myself. The Lemon Pepper Wings were good but they were too salty. If they would cut the salt by a lot the flavor is nice and could be an outstanding wing option. The Original Hot was the greatest disappointment. There was something about it that I did not like and it wasn't that they were hot because they were not. As far as the wings go the level they were cooked too were awesome. I am interested enough in them to go and try again but those 2 flavors are off my list. I think I may do the Cajun and Hawaiian next time. So would I recommend it.... well I am not sure but I am willing to try it again. Let me know if you go and find out I am wrong or find the wing flavor I have to have....

Click The Wing Stop to go to their website.